One Day at a Time (1975–1984): Season 3, Episode 14 - The Race Driver: Part 2 - full transcript

Ann begins to question her relationship with the race car driver.

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ This is life, the one you get

♪ So go and have a ball.

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Straight ahead
and rest assured

♪ You can't be sure at all

♪ So while you're
here enjoy the view

♪ Keep on doing what you do

♪ So hold on tight
we'll muddle through

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ So up on your
feet, up on your feet

♪ Somewhere
there's music playing

♪ Don't you worry none

♪ We'll just take
it like it comes

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

- [Announcer] Here are some
scenes from last week's show.

- I'd like you to meet,
ladies, Cam Randolph.

One of the world's
top 10 drivers.

- Hi, I'm Ann Romano.

One of the bottom 10.

Nothing can excuse
that kind of arrogance.

I'm gonna go up there and
cut ol' hot wheels down to size.

How about joining
us for dinner tonight?

Chicken tetrazzini.

- I thought you'd never ask.

- 7:30?

- I can make it by 7:28.

(doorbell rings)

- Ladies, start your engines.

(imitates car engine)

(imitates tires screeching)

- Oh, white wine, madam.

- You're not falling for
this fender bender, are ya?

- I don't know.

But he certainly
got my attention.

- [Announcer] And now for the
conclusion of The Race Driver.

(Ann giggles)

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

What time is it?

- Oh, let me see.

Oh, 7:45.

- (groans) And I told the girls
I was gonna be home early.

- You made it.

- I meant early last night.

- This is a first.
- Hmm?

- First time I've ever
kissed my mechanic.

- You're gonna smudge my grease.

- Oh.

- Cam, the girls are here.

- Well, there's no
girls up at my place.

Let's go up there.

- Nu-uh.

- Oh.

For you.

- Thank you, what is it?

- A little memento
of our first date.

- Aww, Cam.

You shouldn't have.

What is it?

- The old clutch
plate from my car.

- Oh, and some
girls get silly flowers.

I'll cherish it.

- I guess I'm just
born romantic.

(Ann giggles)

- Cam, what time
do you qualify today?

- Three.

- And you haven't
been to bed yet.

- Well, I'm working on it.

- You want some coffee?

- I've a better idea.

- Yeah?

- Since we spent the night
working on my clutch...

- Yes?

- Let's go up to my
place for breakfast

and work on your ignition.

(Ann chuckles)

- I don't think I better.

- Oh.

I mean, Ann, how can
you refuse to have breakfast

with me after we spent the
whole night underneath my car?

Almost like being intimate.

I certainly hope you don't think

I'd let just any girl do that.

- You mean...

I'm the first?

- You're my first.

I was hoping we could get
acquainted first before we...

Well I guess I just
got carried away.

- Cam, I want you to know
from the bottom of my heart,

I still respect you.

- I hope you're
not just saying that.

Will I see you again?

(Ann laughs)

- Oh Cam, you're
gonna have me in tears.


I am concerned.

- What about?

- Well, isn't it dangerous?

I mean you qualify
at three today

and you haven't
been to sleep yet.

- Aw, you're starting to
worry about me already.


- Seriously, isn't it dangerous?

- Seriously, it's
always dangerous.

- You love the
danger, don't you?

- It's part of racing.

And when racing is
good, there's nothing like it.

- And when it's bad,
you could lose everything.

- It's part of the fascination.

- Deliberately courting danger?

- Now isn't that what
we're doing right now.

(audience laughs)

- Excuse me fellows, I'm just
waiting for mom to get home.

- Hi Barbara.

- Good morning, Mother.

Love your makeup.

I didn't know you were here.

- I could tell.

- Mom, where have
you been all night?

Cleaning chimneys?

- I called you, I told you that
we were fixing Cam's clutch.

- His clutch is now fixed.

(audience laughs)

- Come on, Mom.

You can think of a
better excuse than that.

How about you finally found

that outfit you've
been looking for?

- Okay, okay, you tell them.

- Right, right.

Girls, your mother and
I, we spent the night...

What was the story?

(Ann chuckles)

- You.

Okay, all right.

Look, this is gonna prove it.

Cam gave me an award
for meritorious services

in expert mechanic.

We fixed his flush plate.

- Clutch plate.
- Clutch.

- It's lovely.

11 more, you'd
have service for 12.

- Okay girls, here.

Why don't you
just take all of this

and put it in the
kitchen for me please?

- Come on, Barbara.

They want to kiss good morning.

- Oh, they already did that.

- They did?

Why didn't you call me?

- Well, it wasn't that great.

- Let's go up to my
place for breakfast.

I've got the cereal,
you bring the milk.

- Oh, cereal and milk.

Boy, you really know
how to turn a lady's head.

I don't think I better.

- Doomed to another
bowl of dry, dry cereal.

Without any milk.

- Good night, Cam.

- Ready, girls?

- Ready.

- I see what you mean.


- Good morning.

- Okay, Ma.

You send the kid to her room

and let's get down
to the dirt details.

- Were you really
in a garage all night?

- Uh-huh.

Under the car.

- Gee, and I thought the
backseat was big time.

- Sorry to disappoint you girls

but we really were
fixing the clutch.

- Mom, wait a second.

You can't even drive
a car with a clutch.

- So I was just showing
interest in the man's work.

- Mother, if you were
interested in a plumber,

would you spend the
night with him under a sink?


- Oh, that's probably Cam.

He's got a flat tire and
needs you to change it.

Hi Schneider.

- Na, na.

Na, na, not Schneider.

This is your superintendent
of apartment building premises

and this is an officially call.

Miss Romano, you
have fouled up my foyer.

- What?

- If you wanna stay out all
night with Mr. Goodrich, fine.

But I would appreciate it
that when you come back,

you come back
in after 8 o'clock.

- What are you talking about?

- I waxed my lobby early in
the morning, every morning.

This morning two people
walked right through the wet wax.

I can only assume that
it was you and dipstick.

- Why?

- Because the
tracks led right here.

Incidentally, you oughta
be a little more indiscreet.

Kissed him twice in the
lobby and once in the elevator.

- You were watching?

- Watching?

No, four footprints
side-by-side, then toe-to-toe.

Then side-by-side,
then toe-to-toe.

(audience applauds)

It was even one spot where
there were no footprints at all.

Sometime you gotta promise

to show me how
the hell you did that.

I think I'm gonna write a novel.

- Schneider.

- The case of the
wax foot lovers.

- Or elevators are for necking.

(Ann sarcastically laughs)

- I thought you girls
were going backpacking.

- All right.
- We were

but we figured we'd
be closer to nature

in the raw right here.

- I think you could ready
for your backpacking trip

and if there are any
new developments,

I'll send them to you
to you by scarlet letter.

- You really don't
waste any time, do you?

I mean last night you
sent 'em to the movies

so you and lug
nut could be alone.

Now you're sending 'em on
the weekend backpacking trip.

What do you got
planned for Monday?

A slow bus to Disneyland?

- Schneider, Cam is
simply an interesting man

with whom I might have
an intelligent relationship.

- Miss Romano,

he is not the kind of guy
that has relationships.

He just makes pit stops.

Looks to me like you've
already joined the pit crew.

- Schneider!

What if I have?

- I know it.

I know it!

The first time you two met,

I could see your tachometer
going to the red line.

We all stood by helplessly
as you were drawn to him

like a moth to a flame.

Like a bee to a rose.

Like a fig to a newton.

- Schneider, isn't there
anything else in this building

that needs fixing
besides my life?

- Ah, okay.
- All right.

- All right.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- All right.

- All right.
- Okay.

- And I'm warning you, when
axle brains gets bored with you,

he is going to discard
you like an old fan belt

so please always remember
and don't ever forget,

it is better not to
have been in love

then never to have loved at all.

(audience laughs)

(audience applauds)

- All set, Mom.

Marcy's picking
us up downstairs.

- Okay, you both look terrific.

Have a good time.

- You too but not too good.

- See Barb, I told you.

Nothing would
happen, not with Mom.

- Thanks sweetheart.

Why not with Mom?

- Well nobody likes to think

of their mother
as having an affair.

- And under a car?

Mom, it's so tacky.

- I think I hear Marcy's car.

- Now, wait, wait, wait.

Now why is okay to discuss
our sex lives and not yours?

- I have a sex life?

- All right, look.

If this relationship
gets far enough along,

then we'll all discuss it.

- That sounds fair.

How far along is it?

- Not far enough.

- Mom, we're worried about you.

We just met him and
you are out of practice.

- Is it serious?

- I don't know.

But I think I should have
the opportunity to find out

without everybody's
alarm going off.

- Okay, I know Mom.
- We just want to find out...

- Mom, it's just that you've
only known him a day.

- Develop and find out things.
- Just remember...

- After all, I think this
exchange is very valuable.

Goodbye, girls.

Have a good time.

Don't get into any trouble.

Keep warm and dry.

- Yeah, you too.

(audience applauds)

(doorbell rings)

- Oh hi.

You're early, I haven't
even finished shaving.

- You were expecting me.

- No, I always shave
before I go to bed.

- And I always walk to
halls carrying a quart of milk.

- Please come in and
give the place some class.

- Well, it looks like you
were sure I was coming.

- One rule in racing, as
long as your engine's running,

you're in the race.

- What's the
champagne bucket for?

- To chill the mood.

Next, the candles.

- Candles?

- Naturally.

- In brood daylight?

- I can always close
the drape if you like.

- No, fine, this is terrific.

- I feel romance should
never be dictating by the clock.

When you invite a lady
to dine, you chill the drink

and light the candles.

I'm glad you came.

Ah, and now what is
your pleasure, madam?

Cornflakes, Brand,
Krispies, Cocoa Booms.

- No Corn Critters?

- Funny, I had you pegged
for the Cocoa Booms type.

- See, you just
don't know me at all.

- Your unpredictability
is fascinating.

Not bad.

- You know, I should
be very angry with you.

- Why?

- Well, you're so sure
that I was coming,

you set this whole thing up.

- Well as Shakespeare
said, "The readiness is all."

- Shakespeare?

- Well, you gotta read something
on those 500 mile races.

(Ann chuckles)

- Thank you.

You know what, Cam?

My girls feel that

you are going to try to
compromise my virtue.

- Kids are so smart today.

- Aren't they, though.

- You sure use a lot
of sugar on your cereal.


- Mmm?

- Do you ever regret
marrying so early?

- Well, I think it
worked out for the best.

- Why is that?

- Well, I come from a
very conservative family,

and getting married
was really the best way

to have Julie and Barbara.

Anyway, it was rather nice,
all of us growing up together.

- You think it brought
you closer together?

- Maybe.

- The divorce, was
it another woman?

- Yes.


The one I was trying to become.

You see I figured that if I
didn't keep growing my girls

were gonna get ahead of me.

- How's it worked out?

- They're gaining on me fast.

- Know what I think?

- What?

- I think you make
a great mother.

- Thanks.

But I don't think
you really know that

until they've grown
away from you.

- You're very disturbing.

- So are you.

- I mean, you're different.

- I am?

- You're not, I
mean, I am, with you.

Well, something is different.

- Yeah, I know.

When you left downstairs

I knew I wasn't going
to be able to sleep.

- You know, Ann.
- Hmm?

- I meet a lot of women,
attractive, intelligent.

- And I'm a welcome
change, right?

- No.

What I mean is they all, well,

they all know the
ground rules going on.

- Yeah.

- You know, having
fun with no involvement.

- That's kinda what I figured.

- So.

- So?

- So what are you doing here?

- I'm not sure.

We both know that
there's chemistry, right?

- Like striking a
match at a gas well.

- Yeah.

So I came up, is that bad?

- No.

No, it was good.

- Cam, where you going?

Cam, what are you doing?



- Goodbye.

- Cam, what the?

What the hell is going on?

Cam, where are you?


- I'm here.

- Would you like to tell me
what that was all about, huh?

I mean, you got me up
here so you could mug me

for a quart of milk?

- You know darn well
why I got you up here.

- Well then, this is the dumbest
technique I have ever seen.

- There's no technique.

It's called slamming on
your brakes before you crash.

- Oh, I get it now.

You wanted me to come
here but you didn't think I would.

And now that I'm here, you
don't know what to do with it.

Is that what...
(muffled chatter)

- I was delighted that you came.

I still am.

It's just after
talking with you,

you brought out certain
feelings that I want to avoid.

- Like what?

- Well, like the same
feelings that I started having

with you when we
were together last night.

I ignored them.

Now they're back.

- Cam, look, I got
feelings too, you know.

What do I say someone
sees me outside there?

I tell them you put me there

because I didn't like
you Cocoa Booms?

- Tell them the truth.

- I would tell them the
truth if I knew what it was.

- Let's face it, Ann.

You got to me.

- Terrific, you got to me too.

How do you like it so far?

- Ann, you don't understand.

You're a threat.

- To what?

- To me, to my life.

- Okay, okay, okay.

I don't understand.

- You're the most
dangerous kind of woman.

You're the kind of
woman you fall in love with.

- (sighs) Love.

Cam, have I ever said
anything to you about love?

- No, who cares what you said.

I'm talking about
the way I feel.

You scare me.

- I scare you?

Cam, you scare
the hell out of me.

I'm still here.

- Well, level with me.

- Sure.

- Are you gonna worry about me

when I'm on the
track this afternoon?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's
what petrifies me.

If I knew that you were
worrying about me,

it might make me too
cautious in the race.

That would either make
me dangerous or a loser

and I'm neither.

One sure way a guy
gets in trouble on a track

is worrying about somebody
who's worrying about them.

- Cam, we've only
known each other one day.

Don't you think...

- Well, that's long
enough for me to know

that I am in trouble.

- Don't you think you're getting

a little serious about this.

Couldn't we just, just...

Oh, what am I saying?

- No, we couldn't.

Because you are
not a one night stand.

- Cam, are you trying to tell me

that we're not
gonna have even a...

(audience laughs)

Even a...

A casual relationship.

- You mean an affair.

- Okay, an affair.

- No, we're not
gonna have an affair.

You mean too much to me.

I mean too much to me.

- Funny.

I've heard that before.

- Well, I'm sure you have.

- I've been saying to
men the last three years.

- Then you do understand.

- Only when I say it.

- Well, at least we have
something in common.


- Chicken.




I wanna say thank you

for a very lovely
whatever it's been.

- Well, whatever it's been,
it's gonna have to go on being

until I either quit
racing or grow up.

- Call me if you
have car trouble

or growing pains.

- You'll be the first.

And this time I mean it.

- Hey.

Drive carefully.

(audience applauds)

- [Announcer] One Day
at a Time was recorded live

on tape for a studio audience.

(upbeat music)