One Day at a Time (1975–1984): Season 2, Episode 3 - The Runaways: Part 3 - full transcript

Scheinder is hooking up with truckers trying to find the runaways using his CB radio.

♪ This is it ♪ This is it

♪ This is life, the one you get

♪ So go and have
a ball ♪ This is it

♪ This is it

♪ Straight ahead
and rest assured

♪ You can't be sure at all

♪ So while you're
here, enjoy the view

♪ Keep on doing what you do

♪ Hold on tight,
we'll muddle through

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ So up on your
feet ♪ Up on your feet

♪ Somewhere
there's music playing

♪ Don't you worry none

♪ Just take it like it comes

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a time

- [Announcer] Row after row.

A clean, low mileage car.

So folks, if you can't sleep,

worried about that
clunker you're driving,

you'll come on down to Texo
Tools Ninth Annual Jubilee

and take advantage of a
big pretty darn discount.

But y'all hurry.

Before I take my wife
and kiddies off to church.

Always feel better if I've
helped a fellow human being

before I offer my
thanks to the Almighty.

Now back to our
feature film, starring

Hoot Gibson and Smiley Burnette.

(upbeat music)

- [Barbara] Mom?

- Julie.

I'm sorry, Barbara.

What are you doing up?

- I couldn't stop thinking
about Julie running away.

- Join the club.

- I never thought
I'd miss her so much.

You know, she used
to talk in her sleep.

Pete, Pete no, no stop it, Pete.

Pete, Pete, stop it,
stop it some more.

I used to lie there
getting jealous until

I caught her with one eye open.

- That's our Julie.

I guess now she'd
say, no Pete, no, no.

I'm sorry, I can't go play
miniature golf with you.

I promised Chuck
I'd run away with him.

That van.

Damn him anyway.

- Mom, it's not
all Chuck's fault.

- I know, I know, I know.

- He's really a
pretty straight guy.

Well, he took Julie and
me to his church picnic

and he was great in the sack.

- Barbara.

- Sack race, Ma.

Sack race?

It made you smile,
it's worth something.

- Oh, my darling.

I'm very glad you got up.

I feel very alone.

- David would've come down.

- Yeah, I couldn't ask him.

He's flying out to
California this morning

to consult on a case.

Oh Barbara, it's
all so frustrating.

You live your life,
you make mistakes.

You try to learn by them.

When you pass that
knowledge onto your kids,

they not only don't learn,
they resent you for it.

But let Chuckie-Poo from
his 19 years of wisdom

say anything and
it's gospel, why?

- Guess it's because he
says what she wants to hear.

- Come on, Barbie, do
you really want a parent

who tells you what
you want to hear?

- Yes, sometimes.

Oh Mom, it's
frustrating for kids, too.

First you say grow up,
make your own decisions.

Then when we do make
our own decisions you say,

what did you do that for?

I went out and bought
my own T-shirt with my

own money and you
made me take it back.

I'm the only girl in
school who doesn't have

a T-shirt with something
dirty written on it.

- I'm sorry.

I apologize.

It all seems so unimportant.

Come on, let's go to bed.

- Mom, you're not listening.

You ask me about it and
then when we start talking,

you say let's go to bed.

I'll bet when
Julie wants to talk,

Chuck doesn't
say let's go to bed.

- Even money.


Who is that?

- What's the big
idea, Ms. Romano?

Getting your super
out of bed at four o'clock

in the morning to
fix a leaky faucet.

I mean, I put in an 18 hour
day as it is here around here.

I mean, I don't
get any overtime...

- I don't have a leaky...

- I am just trying to
protect your reputation

from nosy ears.

- What do you want?

- What do I want?

I want to give you the news
that came in over the CB.

Rest Stop Rosie
was wheeling in on 35

and she eyeballed a fun house.

- Who?

- Rest Stop Rosie,
she's a lady truck driver.

She can downshift 14
gears and roll a cigarette

all at the same time.

Oh listen, I rigged
an aerial on the roof.

We can plug in a CB down here.

- Rest Stop Rosie?

- She's a beautiful person.

Drives in high heels.

Anyway, she
spotted the fun house.

- Fun house?

- [Dwayne] The van.

- Chuck's van.

Where, when?

- Relax, like I told
you, the Rest Stop was

coming in on 35 and that's
when she passed the van, see?

But she didn't know
then that we wanted it.

Now she does, she
went back to check it out.

I can probably
signify her right now.

(clears throat)

Breaker one nine,
this is Super Stud.

This is Super Stud
calling Rest Stop Rosie.

Come in, Rosie.

14 gears.

I wonder if she
likes to double clutch.

- [Rosie] Hey good
buddy, Rest Stop here.

Pass the word to Carrot Top.

I checked out the fun house.

- Where?

Where's the van?

- Who's Carrot Top?

- That's your mom.

Here, you talk to her.

- Hi.

Rest Stop.

- Press the button.

- Oh.

Hi, Rest Stop.

This is Julie's mother.

- Carrot Top, never
give your right name.

- Schneider...
- Go ahead.

Hi, this is Carrot
Top, Rest Stop.

Where's the van?

- Let up the button.

- Good buddy?

- Let up the button.

- How come she isn't answering?

- Let up the button.

- Oh.

Where's the van?

- The fun house.

- The fun house.

I'm not going to say
that, the fun house.

- Let up the button.

- [Rosie] Let go of
the button, honey.

It's parked on the
side of the road.

- It has leopard spots.

- [Rosie] No, it's got
tiger stripes and a sign

that says honk
if you love Jesus.

- Listen, Rest Stop, I
think what you got there

is a revival van.

- [Rosie] Sorry, Carrot Top.

We'll keep looking.

10-4, Super Stud.

- 10-4, Rosie, and let us
know if you see anything, huh?

- Mom, we're gonna find her.

- I'm really sorry, Ms. Romano.

I really thought we
found Julie, you know?

- [Barbara] Here, let me.

- Thank you.

I really am sorry.

I'm causing you
nothing but misery.

- Oh, that's not true, Dwayne.

You're trying.

- Well, I mean, I
could've checked that out.

That's no big deal.

I tell you what.

I'll let you know if I
hear anything, huh?

- Dwayne.

Have you been on
that thing all night?

- Oh, you know me.

I mean, I'm night people.


- Thanks.

- Schneider, you really
love Julie, don't you?

- I'm fond of Julie.

I mean, I'm fond of her.

I don't have any
kids of my own and

you people, you're two
weeks behind on your rent.



Well, thank god the
rest of the tenants

don't have leaky faucets
at four AM in the morning.

Otherwise I'd probably
have to sit up all night

with my plumber's
help, and he's got...

- Oh, Barbara.

What is Julie doing
out there all alone?

- She's not alone.

She's with Chuck.

And there's two other
people that they picked up.

- That's another thing.

What does she know about them?

Who are they?

She trusts everybody except me.

Damn it, what is
she trying to do?

(horn honks)

(dog barks)


- Morning.


- Hi, sunshine.

- How are you this morning?

- Oh.

I'm great.

I'm great.

How are you?

- I'm cold and tired
and stiff and I'm hungry.

Oh, and I'm so glad to be here.

And I need a shower.

- It's not you, it's them.

- What's the time?

- [Dan] Who cares
what time it is?

- I'm starved.



- Watch it, stupid ass.

- I'm sorry.

- Way to go, you
stepped on my foot there.

- What do you
think you're kicking?

- For goodness
sake, look at this face.

- Hey, I lost my toothbrush.

- Hey man.

Use ours.

- Oh, no thanks, man.

- Where's my boot?

- Oh, I was using
it as a pillow.

- Right.


- Hey, I like your beads.

Did you make them?

- No, Chuck did.

See, each one represents a date.

This is for the bike-a-thon
and this is for the sock hop,

and this is for
the church picnic.

- Hey.

Where you guys from?

- Indianapolis.

- Thrill city.


- How long you two
been on the road anyway?

- [Dan] 10 months.

- [Mary] I split a year
ago when I was 15.

- You're only 16?

- Yeah.

It's the way I do my hair.

- Where did you two meet?

- In LA.

Doing pornos.

- She was in porno movies?

- Not her, me, man.

Director said I was
naturally photogenic.

Control yourself.


Anyway, you going to LA?

Maybe I can give
you a reference.

- Oh, no thanks.

I mean, I have a
job washing cars.

- Oh.

- Some job.

Hey, who needs work, anyway?

You can always pick
up a buck here and there.

- Yeah.

All you got to do is stand
around in a nice neighborhood.

And somebody's gonna give
you money to go take a bath.

- That's begging,
you don't have to beg.

The world is full
of opportunities.

- Hey, the world is a crock.

- Not if you're with
somebody you love.

- Love is a crock.

- I'm hungry, baby.

You guys got any food stamps?

- Food stamps?


- Forget it.

Hey, let's go out to a diner
and have a big feed, huh?

- Oh hey, we're kind of
watching our money now.

- You got money?

How much?

- Oh, not much.

- Well, all you
need's a quarter.

- A quarter?

- Yeah.

You just sit down at the
counter and you order

some ham and eggs.

And then you wait until
some guy next to you

comes in and orders just coffee.

- Then you switch
the checks on them.


Let's go eat, huh?


- We'll be right out.

- [Dan] All right.

- [Mary] All right.

- What'd you want to
pick them up for anyway?

- They're paying us
three bucks a night.

- They haven't paid yet.

Come on, Chuck.

Is that what we want?

To be like them?

(imitates laughing)

- No, no of course not.

- Well come on, be honest now.

We agreed always
to be honest, okay?

Now, you wanted to be free.

- So did you.

- [Julie] But not like them.

- Julie, we didn't breakaway
to be bums and you know it.

We took off to do our own thing.

- When are we
gonna start doing it?

- We're doing it now.

- Washing cars?

- Oh hey.

Come on, would
you give me a break?

I mean, this is just a start.


Okay look, Julie, you
said be honest, right?

Are you sorry you
ran away with me?

- Chuck, I'm not sorry.

I just kind of thought
it would be nicer.

- Oh hey, come on now.

It will be, sunshine.

Will be.

- Hey, Danny.

- Yeah?

- Did you see their tape deck?

- Right.

That could bring 40 bucks.


- Now stir 20 times.

One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven...

(phone rings)

Eight, nine, 10.


11, 12.

Hi David, how's California?

13, 14.

We're making brownies.

15, 16.

No, we haven't heard a word yet,

but we've checked with
the police at least 20 times.

21, 22.


Where was I?

Thank you.

17, 18.

Yeah, I'll tell Mom you called.

Okay, bye bye.

19, 20, 21, 22.

22, 21, 20.

- Hi.

- Hi Mom, how was work?

- Huh?

- [Barbara] Work, how was it?

- Oh.


- Did you tell them
Julie ran away?

- I had to tell my boss,
I missed two days.

- What did he say?

- He said he wished his
daughter would run away.

She's 34.

Were there any calls?

- A zillion.

David just called, Dad
called, Chuck's folks called,

and the Indianapolis
Star called.

- The Indianapolis
Star, they know about it?

- No, they wanted us
to buy a subscription.

- Oh, Barbara.

- All right, okay, all right.

Barbie, out of the kitchen.

Here, take this.

Set it up.

- Okay.

- You, kick off your
shoes, pop off your girdle,

and sit your mojo
down over here.

- What is this?

- This is relax because
the Schneid is taking over.

Now, you're so upset about Julie

that you can't
even fix any dinner.

What we have here

is Dwayne Schneider's
instant international delight.

Tony's garbanzo bean salad,
we have some cheese burritos

from El Toro, we have some
of Wu Fong's kosher dills,

and some boneless
sardines from Norway.


- Schneider, that sounds great.

- Wait, there is more.

After dinner, I am
taking you both over

to the Indianapolis
500 Wax Museum.


They got a new display.

Annie Grant's
drinking a can of STP.

- No, we can't go out.

Julie might call.

- Ms. Romano, Julie has
been gone for three days.

Now you can't sit
around and mope forever.

Life must go on.

You know who said that?

Gunga Din.

All right.

Get dinner here, you just relax.

- Breaker one nine,
breaker one nine,

this is Barbie's
massage parlor calling

all your handsome
deer jammers...

- Barbara.
- Very funny.

Very funny.

Now every truck within 50
miles is probably in a skid.

- [Beer Belly] Barbie's
massage parlor?

This is Beer Belly.

What's your location?

How late are you open?

- Breaker one nine, Beer
Belly, this is Super Stud.

Take your foot off
the brake before you

jack knife the rig.

It was just some jail
bait fooling around.

- [Beer Belly] Hey Super
Stud, where you been, boy?

We found your teeny
drifters and their fun house.

- [Dwayne] You sure now?

I mean, this isn't
any false alarm, is it?

I got Carrot Top right here.

- [Beer Belly]
Leopard spotted van.

License number 93X1542.

- Belly, Belly.

- Push the button.

- Belly, listen, are they safe?

- [Beer Belly] Who's
breaking, Ann?

- This is Carrot Top.

Are they safe?

- [Beer Belly] Yeah, the
state police picked up

the van with the kids in it.

It was a bad scene.

They're hopping mad.

The girl kicked
Smoky in the shins.

Now, don't sweat it Carrot Top.

Everything is cool.

They're bringing them on home.

- Here?

Julie's coming home?

- Mom, Julie's coming home.

- [Beer Belly] Yeah,
they picked up the kids.

Where else they gone
take them, 31 Flavors?

- Oh thanks, Belly.

Thanks Belly.

Thanks Belly.

- [Beer Belly] Hey,
I like your 10-4.

- Hey listen, Belly,
that was good work, kid.

I owe you one, huh?

You keep your nose
between the ditches

and Smokey the Bear
out of your britches, okay?


- Carrot Top,
calling Super Stud.

Carrot Top, calling Super Stud.


Good work.

10-4, good buddy.

- Let go of the button.

- Okay.

Barbara, I want you
to call your father

and call Chuck's
folks and call David.


Carrot Top's a little shaky.

- You sure you don't
want another burrito?

- No no no, thank you.

I can't eat.

See, the thing is, I
don't know what to

say to her when she comes in.

I mean, do I say hi, what's new?

Or do I say, go
straight to your room?

I forgive you if you forgive me.

- Do the handcuffs hurt?

- Now, Barbara, she's
not gonna be handcuffed.

She's just a runaway.

- Who kicked a cop.

- She's not exactly coming
home on her own free will.

- I know that.

That's why I'm so afraid
of how I'm gonna handle it.

I don't want her to run away.

- Well, how do you know
she wants to do that?

I mean maybe, just
maybe, (doorbell rings)

she wants to come back.

- [Ann] Mr. and
Mrs. Butterfield.

- Are they here yet?

- [Ann] No not yet, come on in.

- We would've been here
sooner but she had to fix her hair.

- Well, I wouldn't want
Chuck to come home

and see his mother in curlers.

- You remember Mr. Schneider,
our superintendent?

- [Alice] Hi.

- [Hal] Oh yeah, yeah.

- Hi, your hair looks terrific.

- Oh.

Oh, thank you.

- Alice.

- I just hope Chuck
doesn't have to get married.

- Please look, see, I
think that we should

present a common front for
when Julie and Chuck get here.

- Right.

Charles is not going
to know what hit him.

- You said that you
wouldn't lay a hand on him

when he came home.

- That was before I knew
he was coming home.

- Well, it's a wonder he
is coming home to you.

- Well, somebody has
to make a man out of him.

You're the one who still
turns on his night light.

- Well, you're the one
who hit him with his violin.

- That was 14 years ago.

Don't you ever forget anything?

- All I know is that the police
are bringing my boy home.

- Well, don't blame me.

Blame her hot to trot daughter.

- Julie is not hot to trot.

- Watch your tongue, frimpy.

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Romano.

- [Ann] Ms.

- Ms. Romano.

Look, I have been
a nervous wreck.

- I have been, too.

I've been pacing
my floor in my room

for the last three nights.

- Well I have been pacing
in my room too, dear.

- No wonder they're
a nervous wreck.

- Where do you meet,
in the linen closet?

- Look, see.

What has happened has happened.

Now, there is nothing
we can do to change that.

See, the thing is, we don't
want them to run off again.

And we don't want them
to stay here hating us.


Believe me, half of me
wants to kick her in the butt

and the other half wants to
grab her and hold on tight.

- I'm not sure that
anything we do will make

any difference now.

- I'm gonna call my mom
and tell her I love her.

(doorbell rings)

- That's got to be Julie.

That's got to be Julie.

- Mrs. Romano?

- [Ann] Yes.

- Okay this is
it, bring them in.

- [Police Officer] Okay
kids, you're finally home.

- Watch it, hey.

- Hey.

That ain't them.

- I told you, you stupid cop.

- We didn't rip off
the van, we bought it.

- These aren't your kids, lady?

- No.

Officer, no.

- [Dan] Told you.

- Well who the hell are they?

- What's going on here?

- What happened
here, they stole the van.

- We bought it.

- We lost the receipt.

- Mom, that's Julie's necklace.

- Hey, she gave it to me.

- You're lying.

Chuck made that for her.

She'd never give that away.
- She gave it to her.

I saw her give it to her.

She gave it to her, I saw it.
- Shut up.

Now, where is Julie?

What have you
done to my daughter?

- Mrs. Romano,
we will handle this.


- [Narrator] Be sure
to watch next week

for the concluding
episode of The Runaways.


(upbeat music)