On My Block (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
Please take a drink. Hydrate.
Let me know if it's too strong.
-Is what too strong?
-The poison.
I'm joking. I'm joking.
Poison doesn't have a taste.
Maurice, please, get my guests more water.
I was being mala.
Uh, we appreciate your sense of humor,
but in all seriousness,
whatever your husband thinks we did,
we can explain.
My husband?
B-- Boyfriend?
I answer to no one, let alone a man.
-I am Cuchillos--
-Cuchillos, heir to the Santos.
-So you're smarter than you look.
-Cuchillos? As in, "knives"?
Don't look so scared.
I brought you here to thank you.
-For what?
-For helping to take down the Prophet$.
We thought we might get a handful,
but to wipe out the entire operation?
What a feat.
I thought, "Who are these kids?
How clever they must be,
to find the RollerWorld money."
I'm gonna tell you a secret.
I was with Benito, Frankie,
and Lil' Ricky that night.
-No!
-Who do you think came up with the plan?
Lil' Ricky wasn't the mastermind?
I don't buy it. There was no trace of you
in my investigation.
Of course not, and for good reason.
Because behind every good man
is a better woman.
So now, I need your help again.
If you were clever enough
to find the RollerWorld money,
I know you can help me with something
even more important,
and if you do,
I'll give you back the dough.
Lil' Ricky is alive.
And you're gonna find him.
How do you know
Lil' Ricky's alive?
There's a grave.
Do you really think
that all graves have bodies,
or that all bodies have graves?
It's called female intuition.
I just feel that he's alive.
Always have.
-I just don't know where he is.
-Maybe he doesn't want to be found.
I thought of that too...
but I don't care.
He was, is, the love of my life.
I need him to know, and now is the time.
This August is
the 40th Hood Day for all Santos,
and he deserves to see
all that we have achieved.
And you're gonna ensure he does.
Look, we want to help,
but what if, at some point,
some of those Prophet$ are released
and they connect me with the bad money?
-They're gonna be after us.
-Cesar. Cesar. Cesar.
You're all safe from retribution.
There is... ...no threat.
So you can get started immediately,
and you should.
-August is around the corner.
-Hold on. I start my new school in July.
Great.
Then July it is.
Hammel, take the kids home.
-Lil' Ricky's alive?
-And Hammel's a dirty cop.
When are we ever
just gonna get to be teenagers?
Now. I'm out.
This is not my mess or my problem.
You can't disobey
the orders of a gang boss.
Uh... Watch me. She ain't my boss,
and I don't care about the money.
I'm not spending one more minute
with you assholes
and worrying about some sociopath
looking to get laid.
As far as I'm concerned,
Cuchillos and all of you can suck a butt.
What are you talking about?
He has his reasons.
You don't need to know.
I am his wife!
Which is why you should support
and not ask questions.
No. This is not just his house.
This is our house.
I get to ask questions!
And you, where have you been?
It's almost 11 o'clock!
And a school night.
I was kidnapped.
Go get some food and go to bed.
And you,
you better start getting on my side,
because this old-school thinking
has no place in my home.
Not when I pay the bills!
What are you doing in here?
Sleeping.
Oh, yeah.
Me too.
Yeah.
How could you not give us a heads-up?
Yo, chill, Jamal.
She's his boss.
He probably was under orders not to.
I knew she wanted to see you,
but she didn't give me any details why.
She said Lil' Ricky's still alive?
He's been dead for decades.
I don't think she would've told us
he was alive if he wasn't.
I don't think you know
what she would or wouldn't say.
-'Cause that bitch be bonkers?
-I wouldn't say that about her.
She's not someone to disrespect.
But there is one way to find out
if she means what she says.
-Let's see if Lil' Ricky's really dead.
-What are you suggesting?
We dig up his grave.
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Oh, come on. It was?
Yup!
I have the perfect bag for this, kind of.
I don't really have a body exhumation bag,
but my zombie apocalypse bag
could be augmented
to be in the same wheelhouse.
Give me an hour. I'll be right back.
Hey, she didn't tell you...
did she?
Put that shovel down, son.
You are not going to dig another hole,
especially when you're still in one.
You never paid off the money to the coach
for the damage that you did on that field,
but your debt has been wiped away.
Fantastic!
With my checkbook!
I was going to let it slide,
but now that I see you back to digging--
I'm just...
helping Cesar with some yard work.
You gonna pay me back.
Son, I'm concerned
that you have a disorder,
a compulsion for digging
that you can't control.
And perhaps you'd stop digging outside
if you start digging inside
and figure out why you can't stop.
Dad...
I can't stop
because my life might be on the line.
I dug those holes to find
the RollerWorld money, and I found it,
laundered it,
and then lost it trying to save Cesar
and bring down the Prophet$.
And now, some scary, sexy old lady
with a knife fetish
wants us to find some veterano
who supposedly died 30 years ago.
And to make sure he's not still dead,
we're digging up his grave.
I believe you.
I believe that you believe
what you're saying,
but RollerWorld's a myth.
There's no knife lady,
and Bigfoot is a fairy tale!
I didn't say anything about Bigfoot!
But what is real is the debt,
and you're gonna pay it off
by putting in time at the joint.
You better get some sleep,
'cause first thing in the morning
we're gonna talk
about your new work schedule.
And just like that shovel,
it's gonna be heavy.
Okay, but are you sure we're too late?
I'm sure.
When I paid tuition for the fall,
we turned down the last spot
in the summer session
because you said you wanted
to spend the summer with friends.
What's changed?
Nothing.Everything.
I'm just ready to go. Now. Wait.
Wait. What if we just take a vacation?
Or if that's too expensive,
what if I ride along with you all summer?
When's the last time we did that?
Wouldn't that be fun?
You hate road trips. What's goin' on?
Nothing's going on, Dad.
I just want to--
Monse, you okay? What-- What's up?
I'm fine.
I just suddenly feel a little queasy.
Queasy?
No, I think I left the water running
in the bathroom,
so I'm going to call you back, okay? Bye.
Going somewhere?
No.
But you were trying to,
like I knew you would.
-How?
-Female intuition.
But you know,
I can't have you going anywhere,
'cause those boys
can't get the job done without you.
Just like my boys couldn't get the job
done without me, but you knew that.
And you also know there are consequences
to refusing to help someone like me...
right?
Oh, no, no, no, mamacita.
I'm not suggesting I'm going to hurt you.
No.
No.
But I am suggesting I will hurt your dad.
Why are you up?
Go back to bed, mijo.
I can't.
Dad's snoring too loud.
-Why is Dad even sleeping in my room?
-It doesn't concern you.
Well, I'm concerned.
You guys have never slept apart.
Should I be worried?
When you pay the bills,
you can start asking questions.
Technically, I do pay the bills
since I'm the one who set up your autopay.
Mom?
Are you guys having money problems?
Thanks for letting me sleep here
and staying with me.
Jamal and Spooky don't need me,
so it's cool.
Nothing's gonna happen.
I got you.
Will you hold me?
I thought we were done.
We are.
Wow!
Your hole has gotten big!
We should be seein' casket
by now, right?
Or maybe not.
Maybe you guys got
the graveyard shift for nothing.
Oh, shit!
Spooky!
What's the ETA on the body?
Now.
It's done.
You're up.
What?
What am I up to?
Opening the casket. Go.
All right. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Sounds full. He's dead.
Nope. We need full confirmation.
Look... this isn't my first rodeo,
and I can smell him.
He's dead, and I know this
because I've done more than
a few embalm-a-longs at the morgue.
- Bullshit.
- Okay, fine!
But I've thought enough about dead people
to know what they smell like,
and they smell like...
What if--
What if he's dead-alive?
Like a zombie. I don't wanna get bitten!
Zombies aren't real. Open it.
-Why me? Why can't you do it?
-Because.
Because why?
Because you got all that shit on, and...
I don't want to get a ghost.
-"Get a ghost"?
-Yeah.
If Lil' Ricky's in there unhappy and shit,
I don't want to startle him
into taking over my body.
So, it's okay for me
to get bitten by a zombie,
but you don't want to get a ghost?
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Listen. There are friendly ghosts!
There are no friendly zombies!
If ghosts are bad, it's because
they have unfinished business.
But zombies?
Zombies are unfinished business,
and they're always pissed!
You're not gonna sway me.
I know what I know.
My tío on my mom's side caught a ghost
when he was two
after opening his grandpa's casket.
From that moment on,
he could only walk backwards.
He was two!
Maybe he was just a kid
who walked backwards.
Or maybe he got a ghost!
Your name is Spooky,
and you're afraid of ghosts?
- Open the casket!
- Okay!
Just promise me one thing.
- What?
- If I get bitten,
you'll give me a clean shot to the head.
Go through the ear, not the eye sockets.
If there's an antidote I don't know about,
I can keep my eyesight
after they rehabilitate my brain.
- Go!
- Okay!
Oh, my God.
Uh...
Chivo!
- I'm not home.
- Chivo, get out here!
- I'm not home.
-Where are you?
-Somewhere.
Chivo, if you don't come correct,
I'm gonna break down this damn door!
We're on vacation in Havasu,
so whatever you want...
Uh-oh.
-Where's Lil' Ricky?
-I can't hear you.
Can you hear me?
Chivo is not home.
Please leave a message. Beep.
I don't have time for this shit!
Tell us where he is!
- I'm... ...cutting out...
- I have bad reception.
Love to talk more...
Bye-bye. Beep.
-He knows something.
-Really?
Of course he does!
Stay in your lane, rookie.
Hey.
Oh, gosh.
- Okay. All right.
- Whoa. Uh...
What's goin' on?
Nothing.
Last night was not nothing.
Oh, right, I forgot. You're an expert
on something being nothing.
You're the king of meaningless.
That's not fair.
Really? Was it fair to tell me
I was my mother's daughter
just 'cause I wanted to get to know her?
Was it fair to make me choose
when you knew that was the one time
I wanted something for myself
that wasn't just about protecting you?
So you want me to be fair?
And tell you what last night was about?
It was about a warm body.
Chivo...
you can't outrun me.
I will find you!
I know where your greenhouse is.
I know where your safe house is.
I know where the bodies are buried.
Oh, or where the body's
supposed to be buried.
Oh, and this is also Jamal.
My number is--
Leave me a message.
Chivo, I'm gonna keep calling until--
My mailbox is full. Goodbye.
I got a ghost.
Did you just see what I saw?
-You mean that girl in green?
-Yeah!
So it's not just me?
It's not a ghost. It's a girl?
Shit!
I think I'm being stalked by a Prophet.
How is that possible?
We didn't get them all 'cause Cuchillos
doesn't have it all handled,
and now they're gunning for us,
which is why we need
unconventional protection.
What does that mean?
Have you guys seen this güera?
She can't sing for shit,
but I am addicted.
-It's like auto-tune heroin.
-We don't have time.
Because your music is so highbrow?
Don't pull no Kehlani dissertation
on me, Jamal. I love her, too,
but loving Queen Kehlani and tone-deaf
JonBenét are not mutually exclusive.
-That's not what he meant.
-It was. A little bit.
What Jamal is trying to stress
is the urgency of our situation.
Don't. We shouldn't expose ourselves
more than we already are.
Telling anyone else
about the mission threatens our safety.
Oh, so now you're in?
Because I thought you said
we could suck a butt.
Hey, she had
an unexpected visitor last night.
-I can speak for myself, thank you.
-You can't sleep by yourself.
-Dick.
-Exactly.
Do y'all still need me?
- Yes!
- No.
Overruled.
Jasmine, the reason we're acting so cagey
is because this situation
is life or death!
-There's a ticking clock.
-You got a Prophet in your shadow too?
No, but my folks
are underwater financially.
I need this payout sooner than later,
so we gotta move, and we gotta move fast.
I'm sorry to hear that, boo,
but it ain't my problem.
So either talk or walk 'cause there's
only 20 minutes left of lunch,
and I got reaction videos to make.
-Okay, so here's the sitch.
-Let's not forget, Jasmine is an explorer.
We'll never truly know
where her allegiance lies.
Monse's right.
You should have led with that.
This was a bad idea.
Let's go.
Your bad idea
was taking down the Prophet$...
but what do I know?
Okay, this is what I know.
-Ooh, nice shoes, Jamal.
-Thanks.
-Is that it?
-No.
Be patient, boo.
So, it all starts with Monse and Cesar.
Let's call them Homeyo and Doodooette.
Homeyo, the heir to the Santos,
and Doodooette,
the secret princess of the Prophet$.
-What are you talking about?
-You'll have your turn to debate facts,
but until then, I have the floor.
And don't deny it, girl.
Why else would your dad be so mad for
Cesar being at your crib on New Year's?
Jasmine, how do you know about that?
I was there.
Cesar has to go. Promise me he's leaving.
- Please.
- Promise.
Promise.
Wow.
Oh!
You had to promise
not to see him again.
No, that's not what I promised,
and my dad not wanting Cesar at my house
wasn't about some vendetta.
He was worried he was dangerous.
Because he's a Santo!
Girl, you are basically doin' my job
explaining this for me.
Ooh, speaking of jobs,
Monse's dad's "long hauls"
are really about moving product.
No. No, they're not.
Do you know
where your dad was on every trip?
-No--
-Well, I do!
I've been tracking him
via a tracker I put on his truck.
He's been traveling to Miami,
Hartford, and St. Louis.
-So?
-They also happen to be hotbeds of drugs.
There's also been a spike of drug use
in New Mexico.
My dad hasn't even been to New Mexico.
Oh, I know. I was just stating a fact.
Jasmine, that product that he's shipping
is a real product. Not drugs.
Wow, Monse, you seem to know
a lot about your dad and his job,
but did you know your daddy
also has an Insta account?
And guess what,
he's been putting miles on that too.
- My dad is not a trafficker or a Prophet!
- How 'bout a cowboy?
What does that disturbing, yet joyful,
photo have to do with anything?
And if Monty's the head of the Prophet$,
why would we take them down?
Because Monse wouldn't give up the "D"
and neither would Monty.
"Daughter"! His daughter!
Man, y'all
and your outlandish assumptions.
So, then what happened?
Next, Monty and his crew used the money
they stole from Freeridge Savings
while Monse was conveniently living
out of town with her mother
and Cesar was pretending
to be heartbroken post-breakup.
Jasmine, we're still broken up.
Oh? Then what was that
humpety-dump last night?
Exhibit E!
-Oh, my God.
-Stop! Turn it off! Turn it off.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh.
Don't believe me now?
I got the sheets
and I'm not above using a black light.
Oh, God.Please don't.
So after all was said and done,
Monty used the money he stole
to take down his oppressors in the gang
so he could stop being a mule
and start riding a horse.
Ooh, by all estimations,
somewhere upstate, on a farm, hmm.
And he let you all skim
a little cream off the top,
which is why you had to clean it
and why Jamal has those nice new shoes.
- Ooh, nice shoes, Jamal.
- Thanks.
In conclusion...
you are all under arrest!
This is a citizen's arrest.
You have laundered stolen money
and were accessories to a crime.
You all have the right to shut the hell up
and bend over while I frisk you.
Ruby first.
Hold up! If we're goin' down,
you're goin' down with us.
-You taught us how to clean the money.
-And where to buy fake IDs.
No, I didn't. That wasn't me.
That was Mona.
Well, you can tell that "Mona"
that she's not the only one
who knows how to use an iPhone.
Exhibit E!
This is child pornography,
and I'm citizen-arresting you
for being a peddler of it.
Ooh, damn, Ruby.
I didn't think you had that in you.
Okay, baby, truce.
Can you just give us a minute?
While we clearly need
to set the story straight,
I think we can still use her.
She can be an asset
with her police connections.
Are you kidding me?
We can't work with her. She's a shitshow.
Detective work is all about instincts,
and her instincts stink!
You're right. I have terrible instincts.
I mean, my initial instinct made me think
Jamal found the RollerWorld money
and switched it for the Freeridge Savings
money to take down the Prophet$,
but I gave up on that theory
when I read a police report of a witness
the night of the RollerWorld heist
who said there were three dudes.
A guy named Ricky Galindo was fingered,
but he was never confirmed,
and he got away.
-Lil' Ricky.
-Yes!
The guy who started the Santos.
Yo, I looked him up
when someone said he was dead,
but I never found a death certificate,
and that makes me think that
he left Freeridge and took the money too.
-Although, I don't know that for sure.
-But you know he's alive.
If he were dead,
there'd be a record of it.
Lil' Ricky really is alive.
So, where is that asshole?
Let me know if it's too strong.
-Is what too strong?
-The poison.
I'm joking. I'm joking.
Poison doesn't have a taste.
Maurice, please, get my guests more water.
I was being mala.
Uh, we appreciate your sense of humor,
but in all seriousness,
whatever your husband thinks we did,
we can explain.
My husband?
B-- Boyfriend?
I answer to no one, let alone a man.
-I am Cuchillos--
-Cuchillos, heir to the Santos.
-So you're smarter than you look.
-Cuchillos? As in, "knives"?
Don't look so scared.
I brought you here to thank you.
-For what?
-For helping to take down the Prophet$.
We thought we might get a handful,
but to wipe out the entire operation?
What a feat.
I thought, "Who are these kids?
How clever they must be,
to find the RollerWorld money."
I'm gonna tell you a secret.
I was with Benito, Frankie,
and Lil' Ricky that night.
-No!
-Who do you think came up with the plan?
Lil' Ricky wasn't the mastermind?
I don't buy it. There was no trace of you
in my investigation.
Of course not, and for good reason.
Because behind every good man
is a better woman.
So now, I need your help again.
If you were clever enough
to find the RollerWorld money,
I know you can help me with something
even more important,
and if you do,
I'll give you back the dough.
Lil' Ricky is alive.
And you're gonna find him.
How do you know
Lil' Ricky's alive?
There's a grave.
Do you really think
that all graves have bodies,
or that all bodies have graves?
It's called female intuition.
I just feel that he's alive.
Always have.
-I just don't know where he is.
-Maybe he doesn't want to be found.
I thought of that too...
but I don't care.
He was, is, the love of my life.
I need him to know, and now is the time.
This August is
the 40th Hood Day for all Santos,
and he deserves to see
all that we have achieved.
And you're gonna ensure he does.
Look, we want to help,
but what if, at some point,
some of those Prophet$ are released
and they connect me with the bad money?
-They're gonna be after us.
-Cesar. Cesar. Cesar.
You're all safe from retribution.
There is... ...no threat.
So you can get started immediately,
and you should.
-August is around the corner.
-Hold on. I start my new school in July.
Great.
Then July it is.
Hammel, take the kids home.
-Lil' Ricky's alive?
-And Hammel's a dirty cop.
When are we ever
just gonna get to be teenagers?
Now. I'm out.
This is not my mess or my problem.
You can't disobey
the orders of a gang boss.
Uh... Watch me. She ain't my boss,
and I don't care about the money.
I'm not spending one more minute
with you assholes
and worrying about some sociopath
looking to get laid.
As far as I'm concerned,
Cuchillos and all of you can suck a butt.
What are you talking about?
He has his reasons.
You don't need to know.
I am his wife!
Which is why you should support
and not ask questions.
No. This is not just his house.
This is our house.
I get to ask questions!
And you, where have you been?
It's almost 11 o'clock!
And a school night.
I was kidnapped.
Go get some food and go to bed.
And you,
you better start getting on my side,
because this old-school thinking
has no place in my home.
Not when I pay the bills!
What are you doing in here?
Sleeping.
Oh, yeah.
Me too.
Yeah.
How could you not give us a heads-up?
Yo, chill, Jamal.
She's his boss.
He probably was under orders not to.
I knew she wanted to see you,
but she didn't give me any details why.
She said Lil' Ricky's still alive?
He's been dead for decades.
I don't think she would've told us
he was alive if he wasn't.
I don't think you know
what she would or wouldn't say.
-'Cause that bitch be bonkers?
-I wouldn't say that about her.
She's not someone to disrespect.
But there is one way to find out
if she means what she says.
-Let's see if Lil' Ricky's really dead.
-What are you suggesting?
We dig up his grave.
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Oh, come on. It was?
Yup!
I have the perfect bag for this, kind of.
I don't really have a body exhumation bag,
but my zombie apocalypse bag
could be augmented
to be in the same wheelhouse.
Give me an hour. I'll be right back.
Hey, she didn't tell you...
did she?
Put that shovel down, son.
You are not going to dig another hole,
especially when you're still in one.
You never paid off the money to the coach
for the damage that you did on that field,
but your debt has been wiped away.
Fantastic!
With my checkbook!
I was going to let it slide,
but now that I see you back to digging--
I'm just...
helping Cesar with some yard work.
You gonna pay me back.
Son, I'm concerned
that you have a disorder,
a compulsion for digging
that you can't control.
And perhaps you'd stop digging outside
if you start digging inside
and figure out why you can't stop.
Dad...
I can't stop
because my life might be on the line.
I dug those holes to find
the RollerWorld money, and I found it,
laundered it,
and then lost it trying to save Cesar
and bring down the Prophet$.
And now, some scary, sexy old lady
with a knife fetish
wants us to find some veterano
who supposedly died 30 years ago.
And to make sure he's not still dead,
we're digging up his grave.
I believe you.
I believe that you believe
what you're saying,
but RollerWorld's a myth.
There's no knife lady,
and Bigfoot is a fairy tale!
I didn't say anything about Bigfoot!
But what is real is the debt,
and you're gonna pay it off
by putting in time at the joint.
You better get some sleep,
'cause first thing in the morning
we're gonna talk
about your new work schedule.
And just like that shovel,
it's gonna be heavy.
Okay, but are you sure we're too late?
I'm sure.
When I paid tuition for the fall,
we turned down the last spot
in the summer session
because you said you wanted
to spend the summer with friends.
What's changed?
Nothing.Everything.
I'm just ready to go. Now. Wait.
Wait. What if we just take a vacation?
Or if that's too expensive,
what if I ride along with you all summer?
When's the last time we did that?
Wouldn't that be fun?
You hate road trips. What's goin' on?
Nothing's going on, Dad.
I just want to--
Monse, you okay? What-- What's up?
I'm fine.
I just suddenly feel a little queasy.
Queasy?
No, I think I left the water running
in the bathroom,
so I'm going to call you back, okay? Bye.
Going somewhere?
No.
But you were trying to,
like I knew you would.
-How?
-Female intuition.
But you know,
I can't have you going anywhere,
'cause those boys
can't get the job done without you.
Just like my boys couldn't get the job
done without me, but you knew that.
And you also know there are consequences
to refusing to help someone like me...
right?
Oh, no, no, no, mamacita.
I'm not suggesting I'm going to hurt you.
No.
No.
But I am suggesting I will hurt your dad.
Why are you up?
Go back to bed, mijo.
I can't.
Dad's snoring too loud.
-Why is Dad even sleeping in my room?
-It doesn't concern you.
Well, I'm concerned.
You guys have never slept apart.
Should I be worried?
When you pay the bills,
you can start asking questions.
Technically, I do pay the bills
since I'm the one who set up your autopay.
Mom?
Are you guys having money problems?
Thanks for letting me sleep here
and staying with me.
Jamal and Spooky don't need me,
so it's cool.
Nothing's gonna happen.
I got you.
Will you hold me?
I thought we were done.
We are.
Wow!
Your hole has gotten big!
We should be seein' casket
by now, right?
Or maybe not.
Maybe you guys got
the graveyard shift for nothing.
Oh, shit!
Spooky!
What's the ETA on the body?
Now.
It's done.
You're up.
What?
What am I up to?
Opening the casket. Go.
All right. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Sounds full. He's dead.
Nope. We need full confirmation.
Look... this isn't my first rodeo,
and I can smell him.
He's dead, and I know this
because I've done more than
a few embalm-a-longs at the morgue.
- Bullshit.
- Okay, fine!
But I've thought enough about dead people
to know what they smell like,
and they smell like...
What if--
What if he's dead-alive?
Like a zombie. I don't wanna get bitten!
Zombies aren't real. Open it.
-Why me? Why can't you do it?
-Because.
Because why?
Because you got all that shit on, and...
I don't want to get a ghost.
-"Get a ghost"?
-Yeah.
If Lil' Ricky's in there unhappy and shit,
I don't want to startle him
into taking over my body.
So, it's okay for me
to get bitten by a zombie,
but you don't want to get a ghost?
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Listen. There are friendly ghosts!
There are no friendly zombies!
If ghosts are bad, it's because
they have unfinished business.
But zombies?
Zombies are unfinished business,
and they're always pissed!
You're not gonna sway me.
I know what I know.
My tío on my mom's side caught a ghost
when he was two
after opening his grandpa's casket.
From that moment on,
he could only walk backwards.
He was two!
Maybe he was just a kid
who walked backwards.
Or maybe he got a ghost!
Your name is Spooky,
and you're afraid of ghosts?
- Open the casket!
- Okay!
Just promise me one thing.
- What?
- If I get bitten,
you'll give me a clean shot to the head.
Go through the ear, not the eye sockets.
If there's an antidote I don't know about,
I can keep my eyesight
after they rehabilitate my brain.
- Go!
- Okay!
Oh, my God.
Uh...
Chivo!
- I'm not home.
- Chivo, get out here!
- I'm not home.
-Where are you?
-Somewhere.
Chivo, if you don't come correct,
I'm gonna break down this damn door!
We're on vacation in Havasu,
so whatever you want...
Uh-oh.
-Where's Lil' Ricky?
-I can't hear you.
Can you hear me?
Chivo is not home.
Please leave a message. Beep.
I don't have time for this shit!
Tell us where he is!
- I'm... ...cutting out...
- I have bad reception.
Love to talk more...
Bye-bye. Beep.
-He knows something.
-Really?
Of course he does!
Stay in your lane, rookie.
Hey.
Oh, gosh.
- Okay. All right.
- Whoa. Uh...
What's goin' on?
Nothing.
Last night was not nothing.
Oh, right, I forgot. You're an expert
on something being nothing.
You're the king of meaningless.
That's not fair.
Really? Was it fair to tell me
I was my mother's daughter
just 'cause I wanted to get to know her?
Was it fair to make me choose
when you knew that was the one time
I wanted something for myself
that wasn't just about protecting you?
So you want me to be fair?
And tell you what last night was about?
It was about a warm body.
Chivo...
you can't outrun me.
I will find you!
I know where your greenhouse is.
I know where your safe house is.
I know where the bodies are buried.
Oh, or where the body's
supposed to be buried.
Oh, and this is also Jamal.
My number is--
Leave me a message.
Chivo, I'm gonna keep calling until--
My mailbox is full. Goodbye.
I got a ghost.
Did you just see what I saw?
-You mean that girl in green?
-Yeah!
So it's not just me?
It's not a ghost. It's a girl?
Shit!
I think I'm being stalked by a Prophet.
How is that possible?
We didn't get them all 'cause Cuchillos
doesn't have it all handled,
and now they're gunning for us,
which is why we need
unconventional protection.
What does that mean?
Have you guys seen this güera?
She can't sing for shit,
but I am addicted.
-It's like auto-tune heroin.
-We don't have time.
Because your music is so highbrow?
Don't pull no Kehlani dissertation
on me, Jamal. I love her, too,
but loving Queen Kehlani and tone-deaf
JonBenét are not mutually exclusive.
-That's not what he meant.
-It was. A little bit.
What Jamal is trying to stress
is the urgency of our situation.
Don't. We shouldn't expose ourselves
more than we already are.
Telling anyone else
about the mission threatens our safety.
Oh, so now you're in?
Because I thought you said
we could suck a butt.
Hey, she had
an unexpected visitor last night.
-I can speak for myself, thank you.
-You can't sleep by yourself.
-Dick.
-Exactly.
Do y'all still need me?
- Yes!
- No.
Overruled.
Jasmine, the reason we're acting so cagey
is because this situation
is life or death!
-There's a ticking clock.
-You got a Prophet in your shadow too?
No, but my folks
are underwater financially.
I need this payout sooner than later,
so we gotta move, and we gotta move fast.
I'm sorry to hear that, boo,
but it ain't my problem.
So either talk or walk 'cause there's
only 20 minutes left of lunch,
and I got reaction videos to make.
-Okay, so here's the sitch.
-Let's not forget, Jasmine is an explorer.
We'll never truly know
where her allegiance lies.
Monse's right.
You should have led with that.
This was a bad idea.
Let's go.
Your bad idea
was taking down the Prophet$...
but what do I know?
Okay, this is what I know.
-Ooh, nice shoes, Jamal.
-Thanks.
-Is that it?
-No.
Be patient, boo.
So, it all starts with Monse and Cesar.
Let's call them Homeyo and Doodooette.
Homeyo, the heir to the Santos,
and Doodooette,
the secret princess of the Prophet$.
-What are you talking about?
-You'll have your turn to debate facts,
but until then, I have the floor.
And don't deny it, girl.
Why else would your dad be so mad for
Cesar being at your crib on New Year's?
Jasmine, how do you know about that?
I was there.
Cesar has to go. Promise me he's leaving.
- Please.
- Promise.
Promise.
Wow.
Oh!
You had to promise
not to see him again.
No, that's not what I promised,
and my dad not wanting Cesar at my house
wasn't about some vendetta.
He was worried he was dangerous.
Because he's a Santo!
Girl, you are basically doin' my job
explaining this for me.
Ooh, speaking of jobs,
Monse's dad's "long hauls"
are really about moving product.
No. No, they're not.
Do you know
where your dad was on every trip?
-No--
-Well, I do!
I've been tracking him
via a tracker I put on his truck.
He's been traveling to Miami,
Hartford, and St. Louis.
-So?
-They also happen to be hotbeds of drugs.
There's also been a spike of drug use
in New Mexico.
My dad hasn't even been to New Mexico.
Oh, I know. I was just stating a fact.
Jasmine, that product that he's shipping
is a real product. Not drugs.
Wow, Monse, you seem to know
a lot about your dad and his job,
but did you know your daddy
also has an Insta account?
And guess what,
he's been putting miles on that too.
- My dad is not a trafficker or a Prophet!
- How 'bout a cowboy?
What does that disturbing, yet joyful,
photo have to do with anything?
And if Monty's the head of the Prophet$,
why would we take them down?
Because Monse wouldn't give up the "D"
and neither would Monty.
"Daughter"! His daughter!
Man, y'all
and your outlandish assumptions.
So, then what happened?
Next, Monty and his crew used the money
they stole from Freeridge Savings
while Monse was conveniently living
out of town with her mother
and Cesar was pretending
to be heartbroken post-breakup.
Jasmine, we're still broken up.
Oh? Then what was that
humpety-dump last night?
Exhibit E!
-Oh, my God.
-Stop! Turn it off! Turn it off.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh.
Don't believe me now?
I got the sheets
and I'm not above using a black light.
Oh, God.Please don't.
So after all was said and done,
Monty used the money he stole
to take down his oppressors in the gang
so he could stop being a mule
and start riding a horse.
Ooh, by all estimations,
somewhere upstate, on a farm, hmm.
And he let you all skim
a little cream off the top,
which is why you had to clean it
and why Jamal has those nice new shoes.
- Ooh, nice shoes, Jamal.
- Thanks.
In conclusion...
you are all under arrest!
This is a citizen's arrest.
You have laundered stolen money
and were accessories to a crime.
You all have the right to shut the hell up
and bend over while I frisk you.
Ruby first.
Hold up! If we're goin' down,
you're goin' down with us.
-You taught us how to clean the money.
-And where to buy fake IDs.
No, I didn't. That wasn't me.
That was Mona.
Well, you can tell that "Mona"
that she's not the only one
who knows how to use an iPhone.
Exhibit E!
This is child pornography,
and I'm citizen-arresting you
for being a peddler of it.
Ooh, damn, Ruby.
I didn't think you had that in you.
Okay, baby, truce.
Can you just give us a minute?
While we clearly need
to set the story straight,
I think we can still use her.
She can be an asset
with her police connections.
Are you kidding me?
We can't work with her. She's a shitshow.
Detective work is all about instincts,
and her instincts stink!
You're right. I have terrible instincts.
I mean, my initial instinct made me think
Jamal found the RollerWorld money
and switched it for the Freeridge Savings
money to take down the Prophet$,
but I gave up on that theory
when I read a police report of a witness
the night of the RollerWorld heist
who said there were three dudes.
A guy named Ricky Galindo was fingered,
but he was never confirmed,
and he got away.
-Lil' Ricky.
-Yes!
The guy who started the Santos.
Yo, I looked him up
when someone said he was dead,
but I never found a death certificate,
and that makes me think that
he left Freeridge and took the money too.
-Although, I don't know that for sure.
-But you know he's alive.
If he were dead,
there'd be a record of it.
Lil' Ricky really is alive.
So, where is that asshole?