Oddities (2010–…): Season 5, Episode 5 - No Guts, No Gory - full transcript

WELCOME TO THE WEIRD WORLD
OF "ODDITIES."

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
TO RECLAIM MY MASCULINITY.

I'VE GOT A SMALL PIECE,
AND YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED.

OKAY. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S
UNDER THESE BLACK BOXES.

OH, WHOA!

ANYTHING YOU'D RECOMMEND
THAT WOULD BE MANLY?

I DO ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING
THAT I'VE KEPT HIDDEN.

WHY DO YOU KEEP IT
HIDDEN?

HERE IT IS.

WHAT IS THAT?

OBSCURA AIN'T YOUR
GRANDMOTHER'S ANTIQUE SHOP.



WHOA!

WELL, UNLESS YOUR GRANDMA'S
A BIT OF A KOOK.

IS THAT A STRAITJACKET?

I'M MIKE.

AND I'M EVAN.

WE'VE SPENT OUR ENTIRE LIVES... COLLECTING
AND DEALING... HUNTING AND PICKING...

TO GET THIS BUSINESS...
DOWN TO A SCIENCE.

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

HEY, GEORGE.
HOW YOU DOING?

MIKE. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN,
MY FRIEND.

HOW'VE YOU BEEN?
I'M DOING GOOD.

HOW ABOUT YOURSELF?
VERY GOOD.

COOL. COOL.

OOH.
ALL THAT GOOD STUFF.



YOU HAD CALLED.

YOU HAD MENTIONED
THAT YOU HAD SOMETHING FOR ME.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT CAME IN, WE PUT IT ASIDE,
CALLED YOU FIRST.

WHERE IS IT?
WHERE IS IT?

I'LL BRING IT UP.

I'D BEEN A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER
BACK IN THE '80s.

MY GRANDFATHER, HE DEVELOPED
THE FIRST TV-DINNER TRAY.

SO, IN A WAY, I HELPED TO FEED
BILLIONS OF PEOPLE A DAY.

THIS PIECE IS REALLY COOL.

WOW!

NOW, THIS ONE'S
KIND OF UNUSUAL.

THIS PIECE WOULD SIT
ON THE COUNTER IN A DRUGSTORE.

YOU'D PUT YOUR PENNY IN HERE,
HOLD THESE TWO KNOBS,

AND AS YOU TURN IT,
IT STARTS GIVING YOU SHOCKS.

THE IDEA WAS YOU'D PASS
ELECTRICITY THROUGH YOU,

AND IT WOULD CURE
WHATEVER YOU GOT.

OH, COME ON.

HERE IT SAYS, "CURES HEADACHE,
NEURALGIA, RHEUMATISM,"

WHICH IS ARTHRITIS.

YOU THINK IT WORKS?

IT ACTUALLY DOES.

YOU WANT TO TRY IT?

UNH.

YEAH.

A LITTLE SENSATION THERE.

HOW'S YOUR HEADACHE?

OW! GOD!

ARE YOU OKAY?

I GOT TO HAVE IT, MAN!

NO, THIS IS SO COOL,
SERIOUSLY.

WOULD YOU EVER GO UP
THAT HIGH?

NO. NO.
IT'D BE CRAZY TO DO THAT.

I LOVE IT.
WHAT ARE YOU ASKING FOR IT?

WE ORIGINALLY WERE TO PUT
ABOUT $1,300 ON THIS.

ALTHOUGH YOU'RE A GOOD CUSTOMER.
YOU BUY A LOT.

I WOULD DROP THIS DOWN
TO A GRAND FOR YOU.

SOLD.

GREAT, MAN.

THE FORGOTTEN ONE,
JACKSON.

YEAH.
I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER HIM.

HOW YOU DOING?

HI.

JUST ASK
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.

GREAT.

YOU KNOW, IF THERE'S ANYTHING SPECIFIC
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, WE COULD... YEAH.

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO
SORT OF RECLAIM MY MASCULINITY.

GEEZ.
I KNOW.

SOUNDS HEAVY.

SO, MASCULINE?

YEAH, SOMETHING
THAT'S OBVIOUSLY MALE.

WELL, WE HAD THESE...
IT'S CALLED AN OOSIK.

IT'S ACTUALLY THE PENIS BONE OF A
WALRUS ABOUT, OH, TWO FEET LONG.

WOW.

YEAH, I'M NOT SO MUCH IN THE PENIS DIRECTION,
MORE IN THE, YOU KNOW... THE GONAD?

YEAH. YEAH.

THE BOYS, HUH?

IN THE TWO FRIENDS
IN THE APARTMENT DOWNSTAIRS.

OOH, WOW.

WE DO HAVE SOMETHING
ACTUALLY HERE.

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BRING
OUT THE MAN TIGER WITHIN ME.

SOMETHING DEEP WITHIN
THAT SCREAMS, "I'M A MAN."

IT'S THE AESTHETIC THAT I'M LOOKING FOR
TO REALLY SPEAK VOLUMES FOR MY MANLINESS.

WELL, WE HAVE THESE ACTUALLY
LABELED "MALE GLANDS."

MIXED.
AND "ORCHIC SUBSTANCE."

ALSO, IT SAYS ON IT "DESICCATED
TESTICULAR SUBSTANCE."

AND THESE ARE USUALLY THE
TESTICLES AND GLANDS OF ANIMALS

THAT WERE GROUND UP AND DESICCATED OR DRIED
OUT AND USED FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES.

WHAT YEAR IS THAT
GROUND-UP TESTICLE FROM?

'20s, '30s, GIVE OR TAKE.

THAT'S A HERBERT HOOVER
GROUND-UP TESTICLE.

THAT'S ACTUALLY SPOT ON, IT'S
JUST NOT IN THE GROUND-UP FORM.

YOU SEE,
I ONLY HAVE ONE TESTICLE.

AND I WOULD WANT A FULL ONE.

IS THAT A BIRTH-DEFECT THING
OR MEDICAL?

NO, I'M ACTUALLY GETTING OVER
TREATMENT FOR TESTICULAR CANCER.

OH, REALLY?
YEAH.

I JUST GOT THROUGH
MY CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENTS.

CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.

I'VE BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL ROUNDS
OF CHEMO MYSELF, LOST ALL MY HAIR.

YEAH. YOU UNDERSTAND.
DID YOU GET THAT HEALTHY GLOW?

YES.
I DID GET THE HEALTHY GLOW.

ISN'T THAT STRANGE?

AND THEN I GOT THE ACNE THAT
COMES AFTER THE HEALTHY GLOW.

NOT SO HEALTHY.

OR THE QUESTIONS THAT PEOPLE ASK, LIKE
"WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR EYEBROWS?"

I DIDN'T WRITE
THE BOOK ON CHEMO.

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST THERE.
I DIDN'T PULL 'EM OUT.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

HUH!

WELL, THAT'S KIND OF
A TALL ORDER.

I MEAN, WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW,
BUT IF YOU CAN GIVE US A COUPLE OF DAYS,

WE CAN PROBABLY
TURN SOMETHING UP.

ALSO, WHAT KIND OF BUDGET
YOU WORKING WITH HERE?

MY BUDGET CAN'T GO
THROUGH THE ROOF,

BUT THIS IS ALSO GONNA BE
SOMETHING THAT I'M GONNA USE

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE TO TALK
ABOUT A VERY IMPORTANT MOMENT.

I'M WILLING TO SPEND
A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA.

GIVE US A LITTLE TIME.

WE'LL SEE
WHAT WE CAN COME UP WITH.

I APPRECIATE IT.
TAKE CARE, GUYS.

THIS WILL BE FUN.
FUN.

HEY, WHAT'S UP, TIM?

HEY, RYAN.
HOW YOU BEEN, MAN?

GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GOOD SEEING YOU AGAIN.

WHAT'S NEW AND EXCITING?

THAT WAS
THE WORST HANDSHAKE EVER.

I COLLECT EARLY ANTIQUE ELECTRICAL,
MEDICAL, VACUUM TUBE GEAR.

I'VE BEEN GOING TO OBSCURA
FOR A WHILE.

WE'RE FRIENDS AND COMPETITORS.

WE'RE ALWAYS RUNNING
INTO EACH OTHER AT MARKETS

OR GOING AFTER THE SAME TRADE
OR BUYING BACK AND FORTH.

I GOT A SMALL PIECE.

IT'S ELECTRICAL, BUT IT'S ALSO MORE MEDICAL,
BEAUTICIAN, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT.

AND I WAS WONDERING WHETHER
OR NOT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED.

I'D LOVE TO SEE
WHAT YOU HAVE.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE
REALLY GOOD STUFF.

AHH.

NICE LITTLE BOXED PIECE.

YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT'S UNDER THESE BLACK BOXES.

OH, WHOA!

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

THERE IS THIS ONE THING THAT I HAVE
THAT MIGHT BE INTERESTING RIGHT HERE.

THAT'S SUBTLE.
WHAT IS THAT?

I KNOW YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT THIS
GIANT PIECE OF MACHINERY THAT YOU HAVE.

COME ON BACK.
JUST WATCH YOUR STEP.

HERE IT IS.

OH, WOW!

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

- HEY, WHAT'S UP, TIM?
- HEY, RYAN.

I GOT A SMALL PIECE, AND I WAS WONDERING
WHETHER OR NOT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED.

OKAY.

AHH.

A NICE LITTLE BOXED PIECE.

YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT'S UNDER THESE BLACK BOXES.

OH, WHOA!

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

IT'S AN EARLY
ELECTROLYSIS MACHINE.

REALLY?

YEAH, FOR KILLING
HAIR FOLLICLES.

AHH.

IT'S A HAIR-REMOVAL KIT
FOR A SALON.

YOU TAKE WHAT'S KNOWN AS A FILAMENT NEEDLE,
AND YOU PUT IT INTO YOUR HAIR FOLLICLE.

ELECTROMAGNETIC ENERGY FLOWS THROUGH
THIS THING AND DESTROYS THAT AREA.

ONCE THAT'S DESTROYED,
THERE'S NO MORE HAIR GROWTH.

ELECTROLYSIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST
POPULAR FORMS OF HAIR REMOVAL

UNTIL ABOUT THE 1990s, WHEN LASER
TREATMENTS BECAME VERY, VERY POPULAR.

HOWEVER, ELECTROLYSIS
IS STILL USED TODAY,

AS IT'S THE ONLY TREATMENT
THAT ACTUALLY STOPS HAIR GROWTH,

WHEREAS LASER TREATMENTS
JUST SLOW IT DOWN.

REALLY, ALL YOU'RE FEELING
WHEN YOU'RE GETTING

THIS TYPE OF REMOVAL
IS ELECTRIC ENERGY.

WHICH CAN BE, I GUESS,
RELATIVELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

DEPENDS
ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW.

IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING.

YEAH,
I'VE BEEN SHOCKED, MAN.

I DON'T LIKE
THAT FEELING TOO WELL.

I THINK IT'S OKAY.

ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING
TO GET FOR IT?

UH, HOW ABOUT $150.

OH, I MEAN, QUITE HONESTLY, THAT'S PRETTY
CLOSE TO WHAT WE'D CHARGE FOR IT HERE.

YOU WOULD SELL FOR IT?

I WAS THINKING BETWEEN, LIKE,
$50 AND $75 OR SOMETHING.

UH... THAT'D BE TOUGH.
YEAH?

ANY OTHER WAY
YOU CAN SWEETEN THE DEAL?

UM...
HOW ABOUT THIS?

I KNOW THIS GUY WHOSE FATHER
WAS A PHYSICIST, RIGHT?

AND HE HAS A LOT
OF EARLY ELECTRIC STUFF.

BUT HE SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT A TUBE TESTER.

OH, REALLY?
HE HAD OSCILLOSCOPES.

YOU COULD COME CHECK IT OUT, AND
MAYBE I CAN HELP BROKER THE DEAL

IF YOU LET ME HAVE THIS
FOR 75 BUCKS.

THAT'D BE THE DEAL.

IF I LIKE WHAT I SEE,
YOU'VE GOT A DEAL.

ALL RIGHT, MAN. THANKS.
COOL. THANKS, TIM.

THAT'S A COOL PIECE.

WE'RE ON A MISSION
FOR A VERY SPECIAL CUSTOMER.

HE'S LOOKING FOR AN ITEM THAT REPRESENTS HIS
MASCULINITY, WHICH IS NOT AN EASY TASK.

SO, WE'RE GONNA VISIT TONY,
WHO HAS QUITE THE COLLECTION.

WE JUST HOPE HE HAS SOMETHING
MAN ENOUGH.

HELLO. COME ON IN.

HEY, NICE PLACE.
THANK YOU.

IT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

WOW!
YEAH, THIS IS MY TOY COLLECTION.

AMAZING.

YEAH.

THAT'S KIND OF NEAT.

AS WE MOVE, WE GET THAT
EVIL-ZOMBIE THING GOING ON.

YEAH.

I WAS WONDERING IF IT'S AN ORIGINAL,
'CAUSE SHE LOOKS AUTHENTIC.

I'M AN ARTIST AND
A HAIR STYLIST, MAKEUP ARTIST.

I FIND THESE INTERESTING,
FUN PIECES AT GARAGE SALES

AND TURN THEM
INTO SOMETHING ELSE.

WHEN I FIND SOMETHING DEAD,
I USUALLY USE THEM IN ART.

MAKES ME HAPPY.

THERE IS THIS ONE THING THAT I HAVE
THAT MIGHT BE INTERESTING RIGHT HERE.

THIS IS AN OLD
STRENGTH-MEASURING MACHINE.

WOW!
THAT'S PRETTY COOL.

THIS IS ACTUALLY
A REAL MEDICAL DEVICE.

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN USED
TO ACTUALLY CALIBRATE

MAYBE SOMEONE
AFTER THEY HAD AN ACCIDENT.

WOW.

OKAY. I SEE.

AS IT GOES, IT STOPS
WHERE YOUR HIGHEST PRESSURE IS,

AND THIS JUST SHOWS
WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU HAVE FOR SALE?

ACTUALLY, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING
SPOT ON, SOMETHING THAT'S VERY ODD.

OH, PERFECT.
SURE.

YEAH, RIGHT HERE.

HMM.

WHAT? WHAT IS THAT?
THAT'S SUBTLE.

IT'S A BULLET ANT
FROM SOUTH AMERICA.

OH, MY GOSH.

THAT IS A BIG... ANT.
IT'S HUGE, THAT THING.

THESE GUYS WERE ACTUALLY
A TEST OF MANHOOD.

BULLET ANTS ARE SAID TO HAVE THE MOST
PAINFUL INSECT STING IN THE WORLD,

SIMILAR TO BEING SHOT
WITH A BULLET.

THE PAIN IS SAID TO BE ALL-CONSUMING
AND LASTS UP TO 24 HOURS.

THERE'S A TRIBE IN BRAZIL
WHERE THEY HAVE AN ENTIRE RITUAL

ASSOCIATED WITH THIS
THAT'S ACTUALLY QUITE BRUTAL.

THEY DO. WHAT THEY DO TO PROVE MANHOOD,
THEY'LL PUT A BUNCH OF ANTS IN A GLOVE.

THE PERSON'S SUPPOSED TO WEAR IT
AS LONG AS THEY CAN.

THEY'RE DANCING AND SINGING, BUT THE
WHOLE TIME, HE'S BEING STUNG REPEATEDLY.

NOTHING SAYS MANHOOD LIKE
BEING STUNG BY GIANT ANTS.

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO PART
WITH YOUR ANT?

UM, YOU KNOW, I'D PROBABLY PART
WITH HIM FOR, LIKE, MAYBE $35.

OH.
THAT'LL DEFINITELY WORK.

YEAH. YEAH.
IT'S KIND OF PERFECT.

THANKS!
YOU'RE WELCOME.

I DO ACTUALLY
HAVE SOMETHING.

OH, HERE IT IS.

WHAT IS THAT?

I'M EXCITED TO SEE
WHAT YOU GUYS FOUND.

WE LITERALLY RECLAIMED
A MANHOOD.

OH!

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

TIM RECENTLY CAME TO THE SHOP LOOKING
TO SELL AN OLD ELECTROLYSIS MACHINE.

THE PRICE WAS A LITTLE TOO HIGH,
BUT I GAVE A DISCOUNT

IN EXCHANGE FOR A FINDER'S FEE
ON ANOTHER ITEM.

HEY, GUYS.

HEY, BOB.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.

SO, I'M AT MY FRIEND BOB'S, WHO'S AGREED
TO SHOW US AN ANTIQUE TUBE TESTING DEVICE

HE GOT FROM HIS FATHER.

LET'S CHECK IT OUT.

GREAT. COME ON BACK.
JUST WATCH YOUR STEP.

OKAY.

THIS WAS THE OLD WORKBENCH, AND
THIS WAS THE OLD ELECTRONICS BENCH.

OH, WOW!

THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING.

YOUR FATHER BUILT THIS?

HE DID.

WOW!

THAT'S A BEAUTY.

THIS BENCH WAS BASICALLY
STATE-OF-THE-ART BACK IN THE DAY.

IT HAD ONE OF THE FIRST
BATTERY CHARGERS.

SO, MY TOYS,
MY BATTERY WOULD DRAIN OUT.

THESE WEREN'T
RECHARGEABLE BATTERIES.

BUT THAT DEVICE ON THAT BENCH COULD
RECHARGE A STANDARD BATTERY.

IT WAS AWESOME.
NEVER HAD TO BUY BATTERIES.

YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING
YOU WOULD NEED HERE.

YOU'VE GOT AN OSCILLOSCOPE, SIGNAL
GENERATORS OVER HERE, LINE VOLTAGE MONITORS.

THAT'S A PRETTY
COMPLETE WORKBENCH.

THERE'S A TUBE TESTER
INVOLVED HERE, TOO.

ABSOLUTELY,
RIGHT OVER HERE.

FANTASTIC!

YOU'D PLUG IN THE TUBE INTO ONE OF THESE,
AND THIS ACTUALLY TESTS WHETHER...

WELL, LIKE THIS, IT READS "BAD"
AND "GOOD."

YOU CAN GO
ONE OF TWO WAYS.

IN A VACUUM TUBE, A NEGATIVELY
CHARGED THREADLIKE STRUCTURE

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS A FILAMENT GIVES
OFF ELECTRONS FROM THE TUBE'S CENTER.

THESE NEGATIVELY CHARGED
ELECTRONS

THEN FLOW TO THE POSITIVELY
CHARGED SIDE OF THE TUBE,

WHICH CAUSES THESE ENERGIES
TO CREATE AN ELECTRICAL CURRENT.

BEFORE TRANSISTORS WIDELY REPLACED VACUUM
TUBES, TESTERS LIKE THIS ONE WERE USED

TO MAKE SURE THAT THE FILAMENT INSIDE OF
THE TUBE WAS STILL IN WORKING CONDITION.

I BROUGHT A PIECE
WITH ME.

I WAS WONDERING
IF WE COULD CHECK IT OUT.

DO YOUR THING, MAN.

THIS IS THE PIECE
THAT I BROUGHT.

THIS WAS AN AMPLIFIER USED
IN THE EARLY A.M. TRANSMITTERS,

YOU KNOW, IN THE BEGINNING DAYS
OF A.M. RADIO.

IF YOU HAVE A TV BUILT OUT OF THESE, IT
WOULD HAVE FILLED UP YOUR ENTIRE GARAGE.

SO, CAN I TRY IT OUT?
ABSOLUTELY.

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO FOR IT.

INTERESTED TO SEE
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

AND IT LIGHTS UP.

AND IT WORKS.
IT HAPPENS TO BE GOOD.

I THINK WE'VE GOT
A PRETTY GOOD TEST APPARATUS.

SO, BOB, WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED
IN JUST SELLING THE TUBE CHECKER?

WELL, TO TELL YOU
WHAT I'M LOOKING AT

IS TO SELL THE WHOLE THING
AS ONE COMPLETE PACKAGE.

OKAY.

BECAUSE EACH APPARATUS
KIND OF FEEDS INTO THE OTHER.

I'D GO FOR THE WHOLE THING.
I'M INTERESTED.

OH, REALLY?
YEAH.

IF YOU CAN DO $500,
WE'LL TAKE IT OUT OF HERE.

$500?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MAN?

WE HAVE A DEAL.

THAT'S FANTASTIC.

ALL RIGHT, COOL, MAN.
FANTASTIC.

AND DO WE HAVE A DEAL
ON THAT ELECTROLYSIS MACHINE?

ABSOLUTELY.
ALL RIGHT. COOL.

ALL RIGHT.
JUST MAKING SURE.

RECENTLY, A CUSTOMER
CAME TO THE SHOP

WHO WAS SUFFERING
FROM A VERY SERIOUS ILLNESS.

AS PART OF THE HEALING PROCESS,
HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO FIND

SOMETHING
THAT REPRESENTS MASCULINITY.

SO FAR, WE'VE FOUND A BULLET ANT, BUT WE
WANT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT MORE VISCERAL.

SO, WE'RE GONNA VISIT
WITH A COLLECTOR.

SHE SAYS SHE HAS SOME MASCULINE
ITEMS THAT JUST MIGHT WORK FOR US.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.
COME ON IN.

OH, YEAH.

WELL...
THAT IS QUITE A BIT OF STUFF.

BEAUTIFULLY DISPLAYED.

OH, THANK YOU.

I MOSTLY LIKE TO COLLECT SKULLS
AND SOME INSECTS, AS WELL.

I HAVE DONE SOME TAXIDERMY.
A LOT OF IT SMELLS BAD.

I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND
THE NEIGHBORS.

THIS IS GREAT STUFF.

ANYTHING YOU'D RECOMMEND IN YOUR
COLLECTION THAT WOULD BE SORT OF MANLY?

UM, I DO HAVE THESE TEETH.

OH, THOSE ARE NEAT.

TEETH?
WHAT KIND OF TEETH ARE THEY?

WHALE TEETH.

THERE'S AN ANTIQUE
KILLER-WHALE TOOTH.

REALLY?
HUH.

WELL, THIS IS ALONG
THE RIGHT LINES.

IN MANY CULTURES, TEETH, PARTICULARLY
WHALE TEETH, ARE VERY SIGNIFICANT.

THEY MAKE THEM INTO JEWELRY,
THEY CARVE THEM.

THEY'RE HUNTING TOKENS.

IT'S SORT OF A PASSAGE
INTO MANHOOD.

YEAH, THESE TEETH ARE REALLY GREAT, BUT
HE ACTUALLY HAD TESTICULAR CANCER.

AND HE JUST WANTED SOMETHING
SPECIFIC TO THAT PARTICULAR DISEASE

THAT COULD START A CONVERSATION
ABOUT IT.

UM, I DO ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING
THAT I'VE KEPT HIDDEN.

WHY DO YOU KEEP IT HIDDEN?

UM, I'M AFRAID THE CATS
ARE GONNA GET TO IT.

OH, HERE IT IS.

WHAT IS THAT?

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

ANYTHING YOU'D RECOMMEND IN YOUR
COLLECTION THAT WOULD BE SORT OF MANLY?

I DO ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING
THAT I'VE KEPT HIDDEN.

WHY DO YOU KEEP IT HIDDEN?

UM, I'M AFRAID THE CATS
ARE GONNA GET TO IT.

OH, HERE IT IS.

HERE YOU GO.

WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S A HUMAN TESTICLE.

WELL, NOTHING SAYS TESTICULAR
CANCER LIKE A TESTICLE.

CAN WE TAKE A LOOK AT THAT?

THAT'S AMAZING.
UH-HUH.

IT DOES KIND OF RESEMBLE
A HARD-BOILED EGG OF SORTS.

IT DOES.
IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY.

YEAH.

IT'S A NICE SIZE, TOO.
YEAH.

AMONGST PRIMATES, HUMANS
HAVE MIDSIZED TESTICLES.

GORILLAS, HUGE ANIMALS, THEIR
TESTICLES ARE ACTUALLY SMALLER.

AND CHIMPANZEES ARE LARGER.

IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HOW MANY
MATES THE CHIMP CAN POSSIBLY HAVE.

AND ALSO, YOU KNOW, THE THING
ABOUT LOOKING AT TESTICLES

IS THEY JUST HANG
OUTSIDE THE BODY.

THE REASON FOR THAT
IS TO PRODUCE SPERMATOZOA,

THEY HAVE TO BE COOLER
THAN YOUR BODY TEMPERATURE.

SO THEY'RE EXTERNAL.

THEY'RE VERY EXPOSED.

JUST FLAPPING IN THE BREEZE,
YEAH.

IT'S NOT THE BEST DESIGN.

NO, I WOULDN'T THINK SO.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU ASKING
FOR THIS FINE SPECIMEN?

I CAN DO $175.

THAT'S DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.

EXCELLENT. THANK YOU.

GONNA GO PUT THESE
IN SOMETHING.

FIND A GOOD HOME FOR THEM.

TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH.

HEY.
HEY.

WELCOME BACK.

WELCOME BACK.
THANKS, YEAH.

A CUSTOMER RECENTLY
CAME INTO THE SHOP

LOOKING FOR SOME ITEMS
THAT REPRESENT MASCULINITY.

WE HUNTED HIGH AND LOW,
AND WE CAME UP WITH TWO ITEMS

THAT WE'RE HOPING
ARE THE PERFECT PAIR.

I'M EXCITED TO SEE
WHAT YOU GUYS FOUND.

IT'S RIGHT ON THE TABLE.

THERE YOU GO.

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A BULLET ANT.

WOW!
CAN I LOOK AT IT?

OH, PLEASE DO.

THIS ONE'S OBVIOUSLY DEAD,
AND IT'S BEEN PINNED.

IT'S AN OLD SPECIMEN.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT IT.

IT HAS THESE REALLY BIG PINCERS
AND A STINGER.

YEAH, THAT STINGER
ACTUALLY DELIVERS

THE MOST PAINFUL INSECT STING
IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.

IN SOME NATIVE CULTURES,
THEY ACTUALLY MAKE THIS GLOVE

LINED WITH THE STINGERS
OF LIVE ANTS.

AND AS A RITE OF MANHOOD, YOU
STICK YOUR HAND INTO THIS GLOVE,

AND THEY'LL START STINGING
AND BITING YOUR HAND.

AT THE END OF IT,
THE BOY BECOMES A MAN.

THIS... YEAH.
I...

I WAS... I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS KIND OF HALF-EXPECTING

THAT YOU GUYS WOULD GO
IN A GROSS DIRECTION.

WELL... YES, WHEN YOU SENT
US OUT TO RECLAIM MANHOOD,

WE KIND OF LITERALLY
RECLAIMED A MANHOOD.

IT'S BEHIND THE TABLE.

LET ME WHIP IT OUT.

YOU SAID YOU HAD ONE REMOVED.

YOU GOT YOUR REPLACEMENT.

OH!

MANHOOD IN A JAR.

WOW!

NOW, WHAT APPEARS TO BE TWO TESTICLES
IS ACTUALLY ONE THAT'S BEEN BISECTED.

YOU DON'T TAKE IT
OUT OF THE JAR?

W-WELL, YOU COULD, BUT, UH...
YOU COULD.

THIS IS THE WAY WE GOT IT.

THIS DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE
AT ALL DISEASED.

THIS ONE'S PRETTY CLEAN.

YOU CAN SEE THE VEINS
AND THAT SORT OF THING.

IT'S ALL NATURAL.

LOOKS LIKE AN ARTICHOKE.

TAKE A LOOK?

YEAH.
THIS IS AWESOME.

YOU KNOW, I WANT BOTH.

THEY MAKE A NICE SET.

YES, A PAIR.

WELL, THIS,
WE'RE ASKING FOR $300.

ANT WAS $75.
MM-HMM.

$375.

SOUNDS FAIR TO ME.

YOU GOT YOURSELF
AN INTERESTING SET.

I'M SO GLAD WE COULD MAN UP
TO THE CHALLENGE.

IT WASN'T EASY, BUT WE FEEL THE BULLET
ANT AND THE GONAD MAKE THE PERFECT PAIR.

YOU GUYS HIT IT
RIGHT ON THE NAIL.

I HAVE A FEELING OUR CLIENT WALKED AWAY
FEELING LIKE HE GOT SOMETHING BACK.

THANK YOU, GUYS.