Oddities (2010–…): Season 5, Episode 10 - Jails, Fails, and Salem Tales - full transcript

Ryan's friend arrives to sell a mysterious organ he cannot name. Then Mike and Evan head to one of the largest flea markets in the US when a customer hires them to decorate his converted old jail house in Salem, Massachusetts.

WELCOME TO THE WEIRD WORLD
OF "ODDITIES."

I WAS THINKING OF DOING
AN EXPLODED SKELETON.

A FULL SKELETON?

YEAH. YOU THINK
YOU COULD DO THAT?

I'VE NEVER DONE ONE BEFORE.

WE'RE IN A LITTLE BAND
CALLED GWAR.

WE'RE KIND OF LOOKING FOR
SOME OBJECTS OF INSPIRATION.

WE HAVE ONE PIECE HERE
THAT IS PRETTY FREAKY.

WHAT THE HECK?

I'VE BROUGHT SOME DEAD THINGS.

THEY'RE SMALL
BUT THEY'RE DANGEROUS.



WOW!

OBSCURA AIN'T YOUR
GRANDMOTHER'S ANTIQUE SHOP.

WHOA!

WELL, UNLESS YOUR GRANDMA'S
A BIT OF A KOOK.

IS THAT A STRAITJACKET?

I'M MIKE.

AND I'M EVAN.

WE'VE SPENT OUR ENTIRE LIVES... COLLECTING
AND DEALING... AND HUNTING AND PICKING...

TO GET THIS BUSINESS...
DOWN TO A SCIENCE.

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

HEY, HOW YOU DOIN'?
HI. GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD. ANY QUESTIONS,
FEEL FREE TO ASK.

THANKS.

LOOKING FOR ANYTHING
IN PARTICULAR?



I DON'T KNOW.
THIS IS PRETTY MERMAIDY RIGHT?

SURE, YEAH.

IT'S A-A LITTLE MORE STARFISHY, BUT, YEAH,
I-I GUESS IT COULD BE MERMAIDY AS WELL.

YEAH.

THEY'RE ACTUALLY
KIND OF NEAT, STARFISH.

IF A PREDATOR EATS AN ARM,
THEY ACTUALLY WILL GROW BACK...

NO WAY.
WHICH IS KINDA NEAT.

THEY'RE ALSO
VERY, UH, VORACIOUS EATERS.

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE THERE,
THEY'LL GRAB ONTO THINGS

AND JUST HOLD THEM
AND PULL 'EM APART.

AND, YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK
THEY'RE NICE AND PEACEFUL.

YEAH. NO, THAT'S TOO COOL.

YEAH, THEY'RE LITTLE NASTY
THINGS THERE, IN A NICE WAY.

I'M AN OPERATIC SOPRANO.

I HAVE
A BIG RESONANT INSTRUMENT.

I REALLY LOVE SEA-THEMED OPERA BECAUSE
IT'S GOT MORE OF THE MYTHOLOGY

AND THE... THE DARKER SIDE
OF THE MERMAID AESTHETIC.

SO YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR MERMAID STUFF?

YEAH. I ACTUALLY DO
A-A MERMAID-THEMED SHOW.

REALLY?

SO I'M LOOKING
FOR SOME NEW PROPS.

OH, VERY NICE!

WHAT DOES A MERMAID SOUND LIKE
EXACTLY?

I ALWAYS IMAGINED THEM
MORE, LIKE, GURGLY.

BEING UNDERWATER AND ALL.

YOU'D LIKE A DEMONSTRATION?

SURE. SURE. I LOVE OPERA.

OKAY.

THAT'S AMAZING. I WAS EXPECTING
THAT GLASS DOME TO SHATTER.

THAT'S REALLY...
THAT'S REALLY IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU. IT'S WHAT I DO.

UM, I HAVE, LIKE,
SPEARS AND STUFF.

SOMETIMES YOU'LL SEE, LIKE, MORE OF,
LIKE... NEPTUNE HAS A SPEAR, BUT... YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, I'M EXCITED.

OH, MY GOSH!

IT'S KINDA BIG.

OH, NO WAY.

IT LOOKS LIKE A TRIDENT.

TECHNICALLY,
A TRIDENT IS THREE.

THREE, BUT, LIKE, THE SAME KIND OF...
IT'S A SEVEN-DENT.

YEAH, SEVEN-DENT.

IT'S FOR EELS, ACTUALLY.
FOR EEL FISHING.

OH, MY GOSH.

BASICALLY, YOU THROW IT LIKE
A SPEAR. IT HOOKS INTO THEM.

IT GOES PAST THE HOOKS HERE
AND THEN AS THEY PULL IT...

YEAH, PULLS IT OUT.
YOU GOT YOURSELF AN EEL.

EELS ARE QUITE SLIMY.

IN ORDER TO CATCH THEM, EEL
HUNTERS USE WHAT'S CALLED A GIG.

THEY'LL USE THIS TO SORT OF WRAP
UP THE EEL AND PULL HIM OUT,

KIND OF LIKE, UH,
SPAGHETTI AROUND A FORK.

THERE'S ALSO A VERY EELLIKE
CREATURE CALLED A HAGFISH

WHICH JUST EXCRETES TONS
OF REALLY DISGUSTING SLIME.

UH, THEY USE THIS
TO EVADE PREDATORS.

THAT IS THE COOLEST THING.

YOU WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THAT? AND...
YEAH. CAN I JUST... PLEASE.

OH, MY GOODNESS.

AND THIS IS
A FAIRLY OLD PIECE.

IF YOU LOOK, THIS IS ALL HANDWROUGHT,
THIS... THIS STUFF HERE.

OH, MY GOSH!

THIS, TO ME, READS MERMAID.

I MEAN, IT HAS THE AGE.
IT HAS THE LOOK.

OH, I KNEW YOU GUYS WOULD HAVE
SOMETHING AMAZING.

HOW MUCH
ARE YOU ASKING FOR IT?

150 CLAMS?

YEAH, THAT SOUNDS
REALLY GOOD.

YOU GOT A DEAL. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ALWAYS GLAD
TO HELP A MERMAID.

YEAH.

I RECENTLY GOT A CALL FROM
TYLER, AN OLD CUSTOMER OF OURS,

WHO'S COMMISSIONED SOME ARTICULATION
WORK FROM ME IN THE PAST.

HE'S ADDED SOME NEW ITEMS TO HIS
COLLECTION AND WANTS TO GET MY OPINION,

SO I'M ON MY WAY
TO CHECK THEM OUT.

HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON, TYLER?
RYAN, WHAT'S GOING ON?

GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
ALL RIGHT. LONG TIME NO SEE.

WOW.
YEAH.

NICE PLACE, MAN.
THANK YOU.

SOME NEW PIECES ARE HERE.

YEAH, IT DEFINITELY SEEMS
LIKE IT'S GROWN A BIT.

IT HAS.
I REARRANGED SOME THINGS,

AND IT'S DEFINITELY SPILLED OVER
TO MY HOME OFFICE AS WELL.

I AM A CHIROPRACTOR
IN NEW YORK CITY,

AND I AM AN AVID COLLECTOR
OF BONES AND RARE SKULLS

THAT HAVE MYTHOLOGIES,
SOME TAXIDERMY.

WITH PATIENTS, I'M HOLDING AND
MANIPULATING SKULLS ALL THE TIME,

SO I DEFINITELY HAVE
AN ATTRACTION IN THAT RESPECT.

I LOVE THIS FEMUR.

THIS IS ABOUT 2,000 YEARS OLD
FROM PERU.

YEAH.
THAT IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

THIS IS A PIECE
THAT BROKE SEVERELY.

PROBABLY WENT RIGHT... PUNCTURED
THE SKIN AND EVERYTHING.

ABSOLUTELY.

AND THEN WHEN IT WAS SET BACK
TOGETHER, IT DIDN'T GROW PROPERLY.

RIGHT. THE TWO ENDS OF THAT
FEMUR PASS ONE ANOTHER

BY A GOOD 3 INCHES,
AND HEALED THAT WAY.

AND THEN HIS LEG WAS 3 INCHES
SHORT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

WOW.
IT'S JUST SO CRAZY LOOKING.

YEAH, IT'S SOME PIECE.

THIS IS THE HYDROCEPHALIC SKULL
I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

LOOK AT THAT.

LOOK AT THE PARIETAL BONES.

THEY'RE DEFINITELY LARGER
THAN THEY OUGHT TO BE.

AND THERE'S ALSO
THE BLOWN OUT SUTURES HERE.

YOU CAN REALLY SEE HOW MUCH THE
TOP OF THE SKULL HAS EXPANDED.

YEAH.

HYDROCEPHALIC SKULLS
LIKE THIS ONE ARE DEFORMED

DUE TO THE BUILDUP OF CEREBROSPINAL
FLUIDS INSIDE OF THE CRANIAL CAVITY.

IN INFANTS, THE SKULL SUTURES
HAVE NOT FULLY FUSED,

AND THE BUILDUP OF LIQUIDS MAKE
THE SKULL VERY, VERY ENLARGED.

THE SURGICAL PLACEMENT OF A SHUNT
AND A LIFETIME OF MONITORING

IS ESSENTIAL FOR SURVIVAL.

WELL, I'M THOROUGHLY JEALOUS
OF THIS.

YOU JUST HAD ME OVER TO BRAG
ABOUT YOUR NEW PIECES, TYLER?

WELL, PARTLY, BUT, UH, ACTUALLY
A LITTLE BIT OF BUSINESS.

OKAY.

I WAS THINKING OF DOING
AN EXPLODED SKELETON.

A FULL SKELETON?

YEAH.

WOW.

YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT?

WELL, I'VE NEVER DONE ONE
BEFORE.

BESIDES BEING DIFFICULT
TO OBTAIN, IT'S A LOT OF WORK.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO
A LITTLE RESEARCH,

AND ALSO, I HAVE TO DO
A LITTLE BIT OF DIGGING.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND
THE PERFECT SKELETON.

SO IT'S GONNA BE UP THERE
PRICE-WISE.

I'M SURE.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT BETWEEN
$10,000 AND $12,000.

ALL RIGHT.
I-I FIGURED AS MUCH.

UM, BUT I REALLY WANT
THIS PIECE DONE.

IT'S GONNA BE
FOR MY PRACTICE.

I'LL BE ABLE TO ILLUSTRATE VARIOUS
ASPECTS OF THE HUMAN BODY WITH PATIENTS.

WELL, COOL, MAN.
I LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

RYAN, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
THE FINISHED PRODUCT.

HELLO.

HI.

FEEL FREE
TO HAVE A LOOK AROUND.

OKAY, THANKS.

WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH THIS GUY OVER HERE?

THAT'S A FOX.

OH, IT'S A FOX?
FOX IN A JAR.

I LOVE THINGS IN JARS.

YOU GUYS HAVE
SO MUCH DEAD THINGS.

YEAH, WE SPECIALIZE.

ACTUALLY, I'VE BROUGHT
SOME DEAD THINGS, TOO.

UH-HUH.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED
TO TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

HUH. THEY'RE VERY SMALL
DEAD THINGS.

MM-HMM. YEAH, THEY'RE SMALL
BUT THEY'RE DANGEROUS.

OH.

I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

MM-HMM.

THIS IS A BUNCH OF SKULLS
I'VE PUT ASIDE.

THIS ONE I THOUGHT WAS
REALLY NICE.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN PACKED
IN NEWSPAPER AT SOME POINT.

PERHAPS THIS PERSON WAS
A JOURNALIST.

WOW! CAN I TRY IT ON?

IF YOU ARE READY TO ACCEPT
THE CONSEQUENCES.

JUST THINK OF WHERE
THIS HELMET'S BEEN.

AW, HECK, YEAH!

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

HELLO.

HI.

YOU GUYS HAVE
SO MUCH DEAD THINGS.

YEAH, WE SPECIALIZE.

ACTUALLY, I'VE BROUGHT
SOME DEAD THINGS, TOO.

UH-HUH. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU
WANTED TO TAKE A LOOK AT IT. YEAH.

THEY'RE SMALL
BUT THEY'RE DANGEROUS.

OH. I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

THIS IS A CARNIVOROUS PLANT.

MM-HMM.

THAT'S TINY.

THERE'S THREE DIFFERENT KINDS
IN THERE.

THEY DON'T LIVE
IN VERY NUTRITIOUS SOIL,

SO THEY HAVE TO GET THEIR NUTRITION
SOMEWHERE ELSE, WHICH IS FLESH.

I AM A POET
AND PROFESSOR OF LITERATURE,

AND, UM, ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES IN THE, UH,
BOTANY DEPARTMENT BEQUEATHED THESE TO ME.

YOU HAVE TO FEED 'EM, SO IT'S WEIRD
TO THINK OF THEM AS PETS.KIE

THEY'RND OF LIKE ZOMBIE PETS
WITHOUT A BRAIN.

LOOK AT THAT.
THAT'S LIKE A COBRA PLANT.

IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE
A COBRA SNAKE.

THEY HAVE THIS TONGUE, AND THE BUG JUST
SORT OF SLIDES... LIKE A WATERSLIDE.

A WATERSLIDE OF DEATH.

YEAH,
IT'S A WATERSLIDE OF DEATH.

WELL, EVERYONE KNOWS
A VENUS FLYTRAP.

MM-HMM.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A VERY COMPLEX MECHANISM

'CAUSE THEY WON'T JUST CLOSE
ON THE FOOD.

THE FOOD HAS TO TRIGGER
THE HAIRS INSIDE.

AND, YOU KNOW, IF IT'S A PIECE OF DUST OR
THE WIND OR SOMETHING, IT WON'T CLOSE.

SO IT ACTUALLY WAITS A FEW SECONDS,
AND IF SOMETHING'S CRAWLING IN THERE,

IT'LL TRIP THE RIGHT HAIRS
AND THEN BOOM.

THERE ARE OVER 600 SPECIES
OF CARNIVOROUS PLANTS,

MOST OF THEM FOUND
IN COLD, TEMPERATE REGIONS.

SOME OF THEM ARE KNOWN TO EAT AN ARRAY
OF INSECTS AND SMALL AQUATIC LIFE,

BUT ON RARE OCCASIONS,

A FEW HAVE BEEN REPORTED TO TRAP
FROGS AND EVEN RATS AND BIRDS.

WELL, IT IS A CUTE LITTLE SET.
WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ON 'EM?

UM, I THOUGHT MAYBE
30, 35 BUCKS.

UM, THE BEST I COULD OFFER YOU
WOULD BE, LIKE, 25.

OKAY, I COULD DO 25.
YEAH?

ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU!

GIVE THESE LITTLE GUYS
A HOME.

HEY, MIKE.

HEY, MAN. WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?

MY FRIEND TYLER RECENTLY ASKED ME TO BUILD
AN EXPLODED SKELETON FOR HIS COLLECTION.

NOT ONLY IS THIS GONNA BE ONE OF THE MOST
CHALLENGING PROJECTS I'VE EVER DONE,

BUT I STILL NEED A SKELETON
TO EXPLODE,

SO I'M HEADED TO
MIKE'S HERALDED STORAGE LOCKER

TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY LOOSE BONES
LAYING AROUND AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE.

LET ME OPEN THIS UP.

EXCUSE THE MESS.

JEEZ, MIKE.

YOU'RE STACKED PRETTY HIGH
IN THERE.

YEAH.

A LITTLE DOGGY OVER THERE.

YEAH, HE'S A CUTIE PIE.

HE'S ACTUALLY STUFFED.

WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO GET TOTALLY DISTRACTED.

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU PROBABLY
HAVE SOME HUMAN BONES KIND OF...

BONES.
I HAVE SOME STUFF IN HERE.

IT'S RANDOM.

I MEAN, I HAVE THIS BAG HERE.
MM-HMM.

THIS IS... THIS IS A BUNCH
OF SKULLS THAT I'VE PUT ASIDE.

OH, NICE.

UM, THIS ONE I THOUGHT
WAS REALLY NICE.

VERY, VERY COOL.

THERE'S THIS ONE,
WHICH I GOT A WHILE AGO.

I JUST PUT IT ASIDE.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL OLD SKULL.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN PACKED
IN NEWSPAPER AT SOME POINT.

PERHAPS THIS PERSON WAS
A JOURNALIST.

THIS IS INTERESTING, BUT, UH, I'M
MORE LOOKING FOR EXTRA BONES

THAT WOULD PUT TOGETHER
A SKELETON.

THERE'S MORE STUFF IN HERE.

OKAY.

UM, I GOT THESE
RANDOM BONES.

MOST OF THEM ARE ARM BONES.
THERE'S A COLLARBONE THERE.

PROBABLY CAN'T USE THAT ONE.
PROBABLY NOT.

THAT LOOKS PRETTY CLOSE
TO A SET.

DO YOU HAVE OTHER,
MORE RANDOM STUFF?

I'LL TAKE THESE, THOUGH.

UH... THAT'S A DOLL IN THERE.
UM... DON'T NEED ANY DOLLS.

THEY'RE PRETTY COOL DOLLS,
THOUGH.

YOU JUST GIVE 'EM SOME TIME.

ACTUALLY, HERE YOU GO.

A HAND.

OKAY. JUST ONE?

JUST ONE.
THERE'S ALSO A PELVIS.

THAT LOOKS GOOD.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

AND ALSO THE SPINE.

OH.

THIS ONE, I THINK,
IS FROM THE SAME ONE.

I THINK FOR THIS EXPLODED PIECE,
IT'LL WORK.

LET'S SEE HOW THIS LOOKS
IN RELATION.

IT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT.

IT GOES TOGETHER PRETTY WELL, SO
THAT KINDA TAKES CARE OF THAT PART.

SWEET.

I ACTUALLY HAVE AN OLD RIB CAGE
AT HOME THAT MIGHT FIT THIS.

OKAY, WELL,
JUST TAKE IT THEN ALONG.

I MEAN, IT'S A SHOP PROJECT.
OKAY.

SO IF IT DOESN'T WORK,
JUST BRING IT BACK.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME, MAN.
THANK YOU.

LET ME PUT THE STUFF BACK IN HERE AND...
THERE YOU GO.

THANKS FOR LENDING A HAND...
OR AN ARM.

WE HAVE ONE PIECE HERE
THAT IS PRETTY FREAKY.

WHAT THE HECK?

DOES THIS HAPPEN
TO HUMAN BABIES?

YES, IT DOES.

ARE YOU READY?
VERY READY.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...
LET'S DO IT.

OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS "ODDITIES".

A CUSTOMER HAS COMMISSIONED ME
TO CREATE AN EXPLODED SKELETON.

I GOT MOST OF THE BONES I NEEDED
FROM MIKE,

AND I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS THING LIKE
CRAZY, BUT I STILL HAVE A TON TO DO.

SO I ACTUALLY CALLED UP MONIQUE,

WHO KNOWS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
SKELETAL ARTICULATION HERSELF.

ALL RIGHT. HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT'S GOING ON?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING OVER.

HOW'S THE PROJECT THING GOING?

UH, IT'S BEEN GOING
REALLY WELL.

OKAY, WHAT CAN I HELP WITH?

UH, YOU'RE GREAT AT PAINTING...
YEAH.

AND THERE'S A COUPLE PIECES HERE
AND THERE THAT WERE BROKEN...

YEAH.
SO I FILLED THEM IN WITH EPOXY.

SO IF YOU CAN MATCH THE EPOXY,
THE DARKNESS,

TO THE COLOR OF THE BONE,
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

YOU KNOW I CAN DO THAT.

YEAH. LET'S GET TO WORK.
AWESOME.

I'M ALWAYS AMAZED THAT
YOU DON'T BREAK BONES

WHEN YOU DRILL THROUGH THEM, BECAUSE...
I DO SOMETIMES. YOU DO?

MAKE SURE NOT TO GO TOO FAR
IN HERE.

THAT'S OKAY.

ARTICULATION IS THE PROCESS IN WHICH
YOU REASSEMBLE AN ANIMAL SKELETON...

OR MORE SPECIFICALLY IN THIS
CASE, A HUMAN SKELETON.

ALONG WITH TRYING TO MIMIC
HOW A SKELETON SHOULD LOOK,

ARTICULATION INVOLVES
ASSEMBLING IN SUCH A WAY THAT

YOU'RE ABLE TO MAINTAIN THE NATURAL
MOTION AS TO HOW AN ANIMAL WOULD MOVE.

THE METAL HARDWARE
THAT GOES THROUGH THE BONE

BASICALLY ENABLES A LITTLE BIT
OF MOVEMENT FOR THE SKELETON.

EVERY TIME I WORK WITH YOU, WHATEVER
IT IS, IT'S ALWAYS SO RELAXING.

YEAH? WHETHER WE'RE
DEFLESHING CREATURES OR...

I DON'T KNOW TOO MANY OTHER
PEOPLE I CAN DEFLESH WITH.

I KNOW.

OH, THAT LOOKS AWESOME
ALREADY.

I LOVE SEEING THE HARDWARE.

OH, MY GOD, RYAN.

THAT'S AWESOME.

THAT LOOKS COOL.

UHH!

HELLO.
HEY, GUYS. HOW YOU DOIN'?

HEY. WHAT'S UP?

OH, FEEL FREE TO
PUT YOUR STUFF DOWN THERE.

WHOA!

ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR
YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING FOR?

WELL, WE WORK WITH
A ROCK 'N' ROLL BAND

THAT'S KNOWN FOR DOING ELABORATE
STAGE SHOWS AND COSTUMING.

WE'RE KIND OF LOOKING FOR
SOME... OBJECTS OF INSPIRATION

THAT MIGHT HELP OUR ART DEPARTMENT TO,
UH, RISE TO SOME NEW LEVELS OF INSANITY.

RIGHT. YOU GUYS AREN'T IN KISS
OR SOMETHING, ARE YOU?

- NO, NO, NO.

NOTHING AS LAME AS KISS.

I MEAN,
THERE'S THAT MASK THERE.

THAT'S AN OLD, UH, PARADE MASK.

IT'S PRETTY COOL.
BUT, YOU KNOW,

WE LIKE, UH, SOMETHING
A LITTLE BIT MORE OUT THERE.

SOMETHING MAYBE WITH ITS BRAIN
HANGING OUT OF ITS HEAD.

I DON'T KNOW IF WE HAVE
ANY BRAIN MESS, BUT, UH,

WE HAVE ONE PIECE HERE
THAT IS PRETTY FREAKY.

IF YOU WANNA SEE IT...
- YEAH? - IF YOU DARE.

THAT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE
WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

NOW IT ISN'T
THE BIGGEST SPECIMEN.

WHAT THE HECK?

IT'S A DEFORMED ALLIGATOR.

HE'S STILL CRACKING OUT OF THE EGG
AND HE DIDN'T MAKE IT VERY FAR.

HIS EYEBALLS ARE MUSHED OUT
OF THE TOP OF HIS HEAD.

IT'S ACTUALLY A CRANIOFACIAL DEFORMITY,
WHERE THE HEAD DOESN'T FORM FULLY.

THE BRAIN ACTUALLY DOESN'T
SPLIT INTO LOBES.

YOU COULD EVEN THINK OF IT
AS THE OPPOSITE OF TWINNING.

OFTEN, YOU'LL HAVE EYES
VERY CLOSE TOGETHER.

IT'S JUST
ONE BIG BALL OF... FACE.

DOES THIS HAPPEN
TO HUMAN BABIES EVER?

YES, IT DOES.

GOT ANY OF THOSE AROUND?

SO WHAT BAND
ARE YOU GUYS IN?

OH, WE'RE IN A LITTLE BAND
CALLED GWAR.

- REALLY?
- YEAH.

I'VE SEEN GWAR PLAY, ACTUALLY.

OH!
WOW!

WELL, NO WONDER YOU GOT INTO
THIS BUSINESS.

HOW DO WE KNOW
YOU'RE REALLY GWAR, THOUGH?

THERE'S USUALLY COSTUMES.

WHERE'S YOUR BATTLE ARMOR
AND HORNS?

WANT US TO PROVE TO YOU THAT
WE'RE IN GWAR?

DON'T MAKE A BIG MESS IN HERE,
OKAY?

WE DON'T NEED BLOOD IN HERE.

HOW COULD WE POSSIBLY PROVE
THAT WE'RE IN GWAR?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY.

AH, LET'S SEE...

IS THIS WORKING FOR YOU?

THIS IS "ODDITIES."

UH, WE'RE IN A LITTLE BAND
CALLED GWAR.

- REALLY?
- YEAH.

I'VE SEEN GWAR PLAY,
ACTUALLY.

HOW DO WE KNOW
YOU'RE REALLY GWAR, THOUGH?

THERE'S USUALLY COSTUMES.
WHERE'S YOUR BATTLE ARMOR?

HOW COULD WE POSSIBLY PROVE
THAT WE'RE IN GWAR?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY.

AH, LET'S SEE...

WOW!

IS THIS WORKING FOR YOU?

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T ADMIT
THAT WE'RE GWAR...

WE'RE GONNA KILL YOU!

GWAR, AS EVERYBODY KNOWS, ARE, UH, MAROONED
SPACE ALIENS THAT CAME HERE TO EARTH

MANY, MANY YEARS AGO.

AND AFTER HAVING SEX WITH THE
APES, CREATED THE HUMAN RACE,

WERE ENTOMBED IN ANTARCTICA FOR MILLIONS
OF YEARS, AND HAVE ONLY RECENTLY RETURNED

TO LOOSE THEIR PARTICULAR AND
PECULIAR BRAND OF HEAVY METAL

UPON THE WORLD
AS WE KNOW IT TODAY.

SO I HAVE SORT OF
A GEEKY FAN FAVOR.

SURE.

- CAN I TRY IT ON?

IF YOU ARE READY TO ACCEPT
THE CONSEQUENCES.

JUST THINK OF WHERE
THIS HELMET'S BEEN.

OH!

AW, HECK, YEAH.

LOOK AT THAT.
I LIKE THAT.

YOU MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE,
MY FRIEND.

OH, MAN! THAT IS... I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU GUYS WEAR THAT WHILE YOU PLAY.

THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL IT
HEAVY METAL.

YES.

SO IS THIS GWAR ENOUGH FOR YOU? OR...
I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT

WE SHOULD SHOW
OUR ART DEPARTMENT.

AND TELL THEM TO BUILD ONE...
YEP.

EXCEPT, LIKE, 4 TIMES BIGGER.
20 FEET TALLER.

UH, WELL, THIS PIECE,
WE'RE ACTUALLY ASKING $250 ON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, MIKE?
IS IT IN OUR BUDGET?

UM... DO YOU HAVE $250 ON YOU?

HEY, WE'RE RICH
ROCK 'N' ROLL STARS, MAN.

OH, WAIT A SEC. WE'RE IN GWAR.

I THINK WE COULD KNOCK IT DOWN A
LITTLE BIT FOR YOU, IF IT HELPS.

LIKE, GO FOR $200?

SURE. YOU BET.

I THINK WE CAN DO THAT.

ABSOLUTELY. THANKS A LOT.

THANKS
FOR COMING IN, DUDES.

YOU BROUGHT THE MONEY, RIGHT?

HEY, RYAN.

HEY.
WHAT'S GOING ON, TYLER?

NOT MUCH.

MY FRIEND TYLER'S STOPPING BY TO
PICK UP HIS ARTICULATED SKELETON.

AFTER MANY PAINSTAKING HOURS OF WORKING
ON THIS THING, IT'S FINALLY FINISHED.

SO I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT IT.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS
FOR, UH, SEVERAL WEEKS.

ARE YOU READY?
I'M VERY READY.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...
LET'S DO IT.

OH, MY GOD.

WOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THAT IS AMAZING.

OH, WOW.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.
THANKS.

OPEN THIS UP TO GIVE YOU, LIKE,
A FULL EXPLODED VIEW.

WOW. THAT'S EXCEPTIONAL.

I THINK THE MOST DIFFICULT
ASPECT OF THIS ENTIRE PIECE...

UH-HUH?
WAS THIS WORK RIGHT IN HERE.

THAT'S REALLY INTRICATE,
I CAN SEE.

I DIDN'T HAVE A FULL SKELETON
WHEN I STARTED THE PROJECT,

BUT I ALREADY HAD
A DISARTICULATED SKULL.

BUT THEN I HAD TO FIND BONES THAT WERE
COMPARABLE IN SIZE TO THE SKULL... WOW.

BECAUSE I HAD TO MAKE SURE
THE PATINAS WERE MATCHED UP.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS, IT ALMOST APPEARS
LIKE IT'S A REGULAR-SIZE SKELETON.

HERE'S A NORMAL-SIZED TORSO.

YOU CAN SEE HOW CLOSE
THESE BONES ARE TOGETHER.

THEY USUALLY SPACE IT A LITTLE
BIT WITH THESE PIECES OF FELT.

RIGHT.

IT'S A REAL TREAT TO SEE
THE ARTICULATIONS,

OR TO SEE THE SPACING BETWEEN
THE ARTICULATION.

THAT'S SOMETHING THAT
YOU NEVER GET TO SEE, YOU KNOW,

ON A...
ON A FULL-SIZE SKELETON.

AMAZING.

IT WASN'T WITHOUT ITS HICCUPS,
BUT I'M QUITE PROUD OF IT, MAN.

SO WHEN YOU WERE OVER A FEW WEEKS
AGO, WE SPOKE ABOUT PRICE.

UH, WE HAD COME UP WITH SOMETHING,
LIKE, I THINK BETWEEN 10 AND 12.

I WOULD SAY THAT I WOULD HAVE TO
COME IN RIGHT AT 12

ON THIS ONE.

UH, I WASN'T REALLY SURE HOW
LONG THIS THING WAS GONNA TAKE.

UH-HUH.
AND IT WAS A TON OF WORK, MAN.

WELL, YOU CERTAINLY WARNED ME
IN ADVANCE WHEN WE MET, SO...

YEAH, YEAH.
IS THAT COOL WITH YOU?

YEAH. YEAH, LET'S DO IT.

YOU GOT A DEAL, MAN.

I'M SO HAPPY THAT TYLER LOVED
THIS PIECE.

AFTER SO MANY HOURS OF WORKING ON THESE
BONES, I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND REST MINE.

JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW
TO GET THIS THING OUT OF HERE.

THAT'S THE QUESTION.

I NEED... I NEED A HAND.
WE'VE MADE SKELETAL HISTORY.