Oddities (2010–…): Season 5, Episode 1 - Holiday Bizarre #3 - full transcript

WELCOME TO THE WEIRD WORLD
OF "ODDITIES."

FOR THE HOLIDAY PARTY, WE'RE GONNA
DO A HOLIDAY SHOW AND TELL.

I DO HAVE SOMETHING.

NOT SURE IF IT'LL BE APPROPRIATE
AT A DINNER PARTY.

GOOBY,
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING?

IT'S A BED OF BARBED WIRE.

I'M GONNA LAY DOWN ON MY BACK
ON THIS,

AND THEN YOU JUMP ON ME
WHILE I'M LAYING ON IT.

OKAY.

OH, THIS IS NOT GOOD
IN THE SLIGHTEST.

AH, THE PEOPLE
ARE STARTING TO ARRIVE.



HEY, LAURA.

MONIQUE.
LOOKS DELICIOUS.

OH, ANDY.

SO, WHAT DID YOU BRING,
MIKE?

OH.

I GOT A BOMB.

WHAT?!

OBSCURA AIN'T YOUR
GRANDMOTHER'S ANTIQUE SHOP.

WHOA!

WELL, UNLESS YOUR GRANDMA'S
A BIT OF A KOOK.

IS THAT A STRAITJACKET?

I'M MIKE.

AND I'M EVAN.

WE'VE SPENT OUR ENTIRE LIVES... COLLECTING
AND DEALING... HUNTING AND PICKING...



TO GET THIS BUSINESS...
DOWN TO A SCIENCE.

THIS IS THE
"ODDITIES HOLIDAY BIZARRE."

FIT MIKE PRETTY WELL.

YEAH.

LOOKS LIKE
HE'S IN ANTHRAX.

YES.
OH, YEAH.

HEY, PETE,
HOW YOU DOING?

WHAT, UH...
FESTIVE.

IT'S THE HOLIDAY.

GIVE SOMEONE A SEIZURE...
ALL THE BLINKS.

OH, YEAH.

I KNOW. PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY I'M A BIT
OF A MAD HATTER, BUT... UH-HUH.

THEY CALL ME
PETE THE REPTILE MAN.

I PREPARE A LOT OF SPECIMENS
FOR DIFFERENT ART

AND SCIENCE PROJECTS
WITH VARIOUS MUSEUMS

AND UNIVERSITIES
AND PRIVATE COLLECTORS, AS WELL.

I CAME HERE THINKING I WOULD FIND SOMETHING
NOT TOO EASY TO GUESS WHAT IT IS...

SOMETHING THAT WILL STUMP
A LOT OF PEOPLE.

I'M PLANNING A PARTY OF ALL MY FAVORITE
GRUMPY, OLD, SOCIAL-MISFIT FRIENDS,

AND WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE
SHOW AND TELL OF WEIRD OBJECTS.

THAT'S KIND OF COOL.
NEAT CONCEPT.

IT'S LIKE A LITTLE COMPETITION
WHERE EVERYONE TAKES OUT

SOMETHING MORE WEIRDER THAN THE
FIRST TO SEE WHO IS THE WEIRDEST.

SO, THAT'S WHY I CAME HERE.

YOU'D BE A HARD GUY
TO GO UP AGAINST.

THANK YOU.

HMM. SO... WELL, WE ACTUALLY HAVE
SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE, ACTUALLY.

OOH, LA, LA.
THAT'S IT.

SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS
WHAT THIS IS.

OOH.

THIS IS A PIECE
THAT'S NOT NORMALLY OBSERVED.

THAT'S
AN INTERESTING REACTION.

I THINK
HE'S PICKING UP ON IT.

I USED TO CATCH AND WRESTLE
GATORS IN THE GOOD OL' DAYS,

AND THIS REMINDS ME OF AN ADULT TANNED
AND HIDE AND STRETCHED ALLIGATOR TONGUE.

YOU KNOW
YOUR TONGUES.

OH,
I KNOW TONGUES.

I CAN SEE
ALL THE LITTLE SENSORY PORES

AND, YOU KNOW,
WHERE IT ATTACHES TO THE MUSCLE.

THINK ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY'S GONNA ASSUME
THAT IT'S JUST PART OF A HIDE.

NO, I DON'T THINK ANYONE
WILL FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS.

I LOVE IT.

WHILE MOST ALLIGATOR ATTACKS
AGAINST HUMANS ARE DEADLY,

WHAT MAKES THEM SO LETHAL
IS NOT THE BITE

BUT WHAT'S INSIDE OF THE BITE...
INFECTIOUS BACTERIA.

THEIR TEETH AND THEIR TONGUES ARE
FILLED WITH EXCESSIVE BACTERIA

DUE TO THEIR DIET OF ROTTING ANIMAL
CARCASSES AND THEIR HABITAT, THE SWAMP,

WHICH IS OFTEN REFERRED TO
AS NATURE'S TOILET.

THIS IS GONNA BE
THE BEST GUEST AT THE PARTY.

I NEED IT
AND I WANT IT.

WE HAVE, WHAT,
50 BUCKS ON THAT THING?

YEAH.

WELL, IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON,
SO I'LL SPLURGE.

NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN,
PETE.

YOU'VE BEEN CHARMING ME
ALL ALONG.

OH, WELL.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT A WITCH?

SOME SAY.

I'M GONNA GO WANDER
AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

BE READY
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

AU REVOIR.

STAY SAFE.

ACTUALLY,
I KIND OF LIKE PETE'S CONCEPT.

MAYBE WE COULD
DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YEAH, LIKE INVITE PEOPLE AND TELL
THEM TO BRING SOMETHING COOL,

AND GUESS, LIKE,
A SHOW-AND-TELL KIND OF THING.

WE CAN BRING
ALL THE USUAL SUSPECTS.

I LIKE IT.
IT'D BE KIND OF COOL.

WE'LL HAVE DRINKS
AND FOOD AND STUFF.

THAT'S COOL.

START MAKING SOME CALLS,
GETTING SOME STUFF READY.

THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A LOT OF FUN.

IT'S LIKE LUNCH
FOR SCHMUCKS OR SOMETHING.

OH!

HEY!
HEY.

WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

WHAT'S UP, SES?
HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

HAVE YOU FINALLY GONE AROUND AND GOTTEN
YOUR FACE TATTOOED WITH THIS MAKEUP?

NO. NO.

I'M NOT GOING PERMA-CLOWN
JUST YET.

MY NAME IS SES CARNY.

MY MOTIF IS AN EVIL CLOWN, AND I'M
AN EXTREME SIDESHOW PERFORMER.

THE LAST TIME I CAME TO OBSCURA, I
BOUGHT A TYPE OF MEDICAL DEVICE,

BUT I NEEDED TO FIND SOMETHING A LITTLE
DIFFERENT THAT I CAN USE ONSTAGE.

I'M KIND OF LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO USE
DURING THESE HOLIDAY SHOWS I'M DOING.

MAYBE SOMETHING THAT CAN GO
IN THE EYES OR THE MOUTH.

THESE ARE KIND OF NEAT.

THESE ARE ACTUALLY TWO DIFFERENT
STYLES OF THESE THINGS.

THEY CALLED IT
"DENTAL GAG."

THE IDEA OF THIS THING
IS YOU PUT IT INTO THE MOUTH,

AND AS YOU TIGHTEN THIS PART
HERE, IT KEEPS YOUR MOUTH OPEN.

THIS IS USED
DURING DENTAL PROCEDURES.

THIS IS ACTUALLY
ANOTHER STYLE OF THEM.

BASICALLY, YOUR TEETH
GO ON THESE LITTLE RIDGES,

AND AS YOU TURN THIS,
IT OPENS THEM UP.

I LIKE THAT.

HE'S PUTTING THEM
IN HIS MOUTH THERE.

THAT'S WHERE IT BELONGS.

GOOD THING WE DIDN'T SHOW
THE PROCTOLOGIST STUFF.

HOW MUCH IS IT?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?
HOW MUCH IS IT?

WHAT DO WE GOT
ON THAT ONE?

WE HAVE ABOUT 100 BUCKS
ON THAT PIECE.

100 BUCKS?
YEAH.

THAT'S A LITTLE MORE THAN
I WAS LOOKING TO SPEND TODAY.

RIGHT.

BUT I COULD DO THIS NEW STUNT, AND
IF YOU LIKE IT, MAYBE CUT A DEAL?

OH, TOTALLY.
YOU HOLD ON TO THAT.

OKAY.

THE ONE THING I GOT TO SAY IS DO NOT
TRY ANYTHING YOU SEE ME DO AT HOME.

WHAT,
CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS?

IT'S A BED OF BARBED WIRE.

I'M GONNA LAY DOWN ON MY BACK
ON THIS.

AND THEN RYAN...
HUH?

YOU JUMP ON ME
WHILE I'M LAYING ON IT.

NEVER ACTUALLY
TRIED THIS BEFORE.

WELL,
PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

FESTIVE!

WE DO HAVE INSURANCE.

HOWEVER, I DON'T KNOW IF IT
COVERS CLOWNS AND BARBED WIRE.

BARBED-WIRE TRAGEDIES.

YEAH.
OOH. OKAY.

AH,
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

OH, THIS IS NOT GOOD
IN THE SLIGHTEST.

PLACE LOOKS AMAZING.

- ANY NEW STUFF COME IN?
- TONS OF NEW STUFF.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OH, THAT'S CRAZY.

THIS PLACE IS GREAT.

AND THIS ACTUALLY
LOOKS FAMILIAR.

THEY WOULD BE USED
TO SHOW YOUR PROWESS IN WAR.

AND I'VE ONLY GOT ONE
IN MY COLLECTION.

YOU'RE NOT A WARRIOR.

THIS IS
THE "ODDITIES HOLIDAY BIZARRE."

- 100 BUCKS?
- YEAH.

THAT'S A LITTLE MORE THAN
I WAS LOOKING TO SPEND TODAY.

BUT I COULD DO THIS NEW STUNT, AND
IF YOU LIKE IT, MAYBE CUT A DEAL?

OH, TOTALLY.
IT'S A BED OF BARBED WIRE.

I'M GONNA LAY DOWN ON MY BACK
ON THIS.

RIGHT. AND THEN RYAN, YOU JUMP
ON ME WHILE I'M LAYING ON IT.

DO NOT TRY ANYTHING
YOU SEE ME DO AT HOME.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

YEAH. OOH. OKAY.

AH,
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

OH, THIS IS NOT GOOD
IN THE SLIGHTEST.

DOES IT HURT,
OR ARE YOU OKAY?

I DON'T SEE BLOOD
COMING OUT YET.

OH, MAN.
YOU ALL RIGHT?

OKAY.

FEEL LIKE
I'M SURFING ON A CLOWN.

NOW, WHEN I SAY GO,
JUST GIVE A LITTLE HOP.

AND... GO.

OH, DUDE.

I KIND OF FELT SOMETHING
DIG IN.

IT WAS, LIKE,
A REALLY WEIRD SENSATION.

OKAY.
NOW STEP OFF ME.

SLOWLY. SLOWLY.

OH, BOY,
YOU'RE A HEAVY DUDE.

OH, MAN,
LOOK AT THAT.

YOUR BACK, DUDE.
BUT NO BLOOD.

I FEEL LIKE I'VE JUST BEEN
PUT THROUGH THE GRINDER.

THAT WORTH
CUTTING A DEAL?

THAT IS WORTH
A DEAL AND A HALF, MAN.

I WILL CUT IT IN HALF
FOR YOU.

$50?
50 BUCKS.

SOLD.
THANKS.

LET ME JUST
GET MY WALLET.

WE'RE ORGANIZING A LITTLE
HOLIDAY PARTY FOR THE SHOP

WHERE EVERYBODY'S SUPPOSED TO
BRING IN AN OBJECT

THAT'S SUPPOSED TO SPARK AWE
AND CONVERSATION,

SO I'M TRYING TO SET THE BAR
PRETTY HIGH.

I'M GONNA GO VISIT
MY BUDDY GOOBY.

HE SAID HE HAS SOMETHING THAT
MIGHT BE ABLE TO HIT MY MARK.

WELCOME TO MY HOUSE.

OH, WOW.

THIS PLACE IS GREAT.

IT'S SUCH AN INTERESTING
GROUPING OF ITEMS.

SOMETIMES,
THINGS JUST SCREAM OUT TO ME.

YEAH. AND THIS ACTUALLY
LOOKS FAMILIAR.

YEP.
I GOT THAT FROM YOU.

I'M GOOBY.

I AM AN ANIMATOR, PAINTER, MUSICIAN,
COLLECTOR OF VARIOUS ODD THINGS.

I'M CANDICE.

I'M A SEAMSTRESS,
AND I WORK IN VINTAGE CLOTHING.

I DO HAVE SOMETHING.

NOT SURE IF IT'LL BE APPROPRIATE
AT A DINNER PARTY,

BUT WE CAN FIND OUT
IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

OKAY.

GOOBY,
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING?

I KNOW, IT'S HARD TO SAY
WHEN YOU FIRST LOOK AT IT.

BUT IT'S A SCALP.

REALLY?

WOW.

YOU KNOW, THE NATIVE AMERICANS
TO HAVE INVENTED SCALPING,

BUT IT HAD BEEN DONE WORLDWIDE
FOR CENTURIES.

EUROPEANS WERE DOING THIS
IN 500 B.C.

WHAT THEY WOULD BASICALLY DO
IS THEY'D KILL AN ENEMY,

PUT THEIR FOOT
ON THE BACK OF THE SHOULDERS,

TAKE THE KNIFE, CUT THE FRONTAL
SECTION OF THE SCALP,

AND BASICALLY RIP IT RIGHT OFF.

THEY WOULD BE USED, BASICALLY,
TO SHOW YOUR PROWESS IN WAR.

THE MORE SCALPS THAT YOU HAD, THE
MORE BADASS YOU WERE, BASICALLY.

AND I'VE ONLY GOT ONE
IN MY COLLECTION.

YOU'RE NOT A WARRIOR.

THE SCALP CONTAINS IMPORTANT TISSUES
THAT BASICALLY HELP HOLD YOUR FACE UP.

AS YOU GET OLDER, YOUR SCALP
GETS LOOSER AND HEAVIER,

WHICH CAUSE YOUR FOREHEAD AND
OTHER FACIAL FEATURES TO DROOP.

SCALPING COULD BE LETHAL,
BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS.

IF YOU WERE FORTUNATE TO LIVE THROUGH
THIS, THE AREA THAT WAS SCALPED

WOULD NEVER
RE-GROW THE HAIR THAT IT LOST.

THIS IS REALLY, REALLY AMAZING.

YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU FIRST LOOK AT IT,

YOU DON'T NECESSARILY KNOW
WHAT THE HECK THIS IS.

OH, TOTALLY.
SO, I'M DEFINITELY INTERESTED.

IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD JUST
MAYBE BORROW THIS FOR THE PARTY?

OH, YEAH,
THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

YEAH?
IT'S FINE, YEAH.

AWESOME.
THANK YOU.

I'M SURE EVAN AND RYAN ARE OUT
BUYING SOME REALLY COOL THINGS

FOR OUR HOLIDAY SHOW-AND-TELL PARTY,
SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS GO VISIT

ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLLECTORS AND SEE
IF HE HAS SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR ME

THAT THEY'LL NEVER EXPECT.

HELLO, STEVE.

- HEY.
- HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

THIS PLACE
LOOKS AMAZING.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE
MORE AND MORE STUFF.

YEAH,
IT'S A SICKNESS.

I COLLECT SCIENTIFIC,
MEDICAL, TECHNOLOGY.

I'VE KNOWN MIKE A LONG TIME,
I THINK OVER 20 YEARS NOW.

THIS WAREHOUSE...
IT'S BY APPOINTMENT ONLY,

AND MIKE IS ONE OF THE FEW
PEOPLE THAT GETS TO COME HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING FOR?

WELL, ANY NEW STUFF COME IN THAT YOU'D
RECOMMEND, OR... TONS OF NEW STUFF. COME ON.

EXCELLENT.
COLLECTION OF HANDS.

THOSE ARE NICE HANDS,
ACTUALLY.

YEAH.
OLD MANNEQUIN HANDS?

THEY WERE DISPLAY HANDS.

MAYBE THEY
WERE FOR SELLING GLOVES.

BUT WHAT'S INTERESTING
IS WHAT'S ON IT.

THIS IS HOLDING THE FINGERS
IN PLACE.

A SPLINT, I GUESS.
YEAH.

IT'S A SPLINT,
BUT FOR THE FINGERS.

CAN I LOOK AT THAT, OR...
YEAH. SURE.

I LIKE THIS THING A LOT,
BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S EXACT...

HOLY HOLY SMOKES.

WE GOT A LITTLE BIT
OF EVERYTHING IN HERE.

DO YOU HAVE
ANYTHING DISGUSTING?

THERE SHE IS.

OH.

EW!

PEOPLE ARE STARTING
TO ARRIVE.

HIYA, KIDS.

YOU BROUGHT
YOUR LITTLE FRIEND THERE.

I KIND OF WENT WAY OUT
IN LEFT FIELD IN THIS ONE.

WELL, I'LL GO GET IT.

HELLO, CHAP.
WHAT?!

THIS IS
THE "ODDITIES HOLIDAY BIZARRE."

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

WELL, ANY NEW STUFF COME IN THAT YOU'D
RECOMMEND, OR... LET'S TAKE A LOOK. COME ON.

GREAT.
COLLECTION OF HANDS.

THOSE ARE NICE HANDS,
ACTUALLY.

BUT WHAT'S INTERESTING
IS WHAT'S ON IT.

THIS IS HOLDING THE FINGERS
IN PLACE.

A SPLINT, I GUESS.
YEAH.

I LIKE THIS THING A LOT,
BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S EXACT...

HOLY WHOA.

LET ME
TURN THAT OFF.

WHAT THE HELL
IS THAT?

I THINK
IT'S A STEAM VALVE.

ANYTHING I CAN DO?
NO, NO.

IT'S OKAY.
LET ME TURN IT OFF.

IT'S RIGHT BEHIND HERE.

DO YOU WANT ME
TO CALL SOMEONE, STEVE?

NO,
I'M OKAY.

IT'S ALL OFF NOW.
IT'S JUST A STEAM VALVE.

I COULD LEAVE IF YOU NEED
TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.

WE'RE OKAY.
WE'RE OKAY.

IF YOU'RE SURE.
I'M POSITIVE.

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.

FORTUNATELY,
WHERE THE STEAM PIPE BURST

IS GLASS AND RUST AND METAL,
SO IT SHOULD BE ALL RIGHT.

WE SELL RUST ALL THE TIME.

LET ME SHOW YOU
THIS OTHER THING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU ROLL IN WITH THIS.

THAT'S PRETTY COOL,
ACTUALLY.

SO, IS THIS A PENNY FARTHING OR A
HIGH WHEEL, I GUESS THEY'D CALL THAT.

YEAH,
IT'S ALL THOSE.

LITTLE TIRE,
BIG TIRE.

THAT'S WHY THEY CALLED THEM
A PENNY FARTHING, ENGLISH.

YOU KNOW,
TWO DIFFERENT COINS.

BIG COIN, SMALL COIN.
OH, OKAY.

IS THIS AN ORIGINAL
OR A REPRODUCTION?

OH, NO.
THIS IS 1880s.

THERE'S NO CHAIN.
IT'S JUST DIRECT?

NO, IT'S DIRECT DRIVE, AND THAT'S
WHAT MADE THESE THINGS SO DANGEROUS.

YOU'RE BASICALLY SITTING
OVER THE AXLE.

LET'S SAY YOU HIT A RUT OR
A ROCK.

YOU'D GO RIGHT OVER.
THAT'S CRAZY.

DANGEROUS.
YEAH.

IT'S PRETTY COOL.

DEFINITELY NOT
MY USUAL KIND OF ITEM.

THAT MIGHT WORK,
ACTUALLY.

NO ONE AT THAT PARTY
IS GONNA EVER EXPECT ME

TO SHOW UP WITH SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS
AND CRAZY AND WONDERFUL AS THIS.

HOW MUCH IS IT?

I HAVE IT LISTED
AT $4,800.

$4,800?
YEAH.

YEAH.

I LIKE IT A LOT
AND IT'S DEFINITELY WORTH THAT.

I MEAN, THIS AGE, THIS CONDITION,
THIS THING'S IMMACULATE.

BUT THIS IS JUST FOR THIS PARTY,
REALLY, TO SHOW OFF, YOU KNOW,

WONDERFUL THINGS
WE COULD COME UP WITH.

YOU KNOW,
WE KNOW EACH OTHER A LONG TIME.

IF YOU WANT TO BORROW IT,
YOU'RE WELCOME.

I HAVE NO PROBLEM
WITH THAT.

I WILL BE SO CAREFUL
WITH THIS THING.

JUST TAKE CARE OF IT.

I PROMISE.
ONE PIECE IS COMING BACK IN.

THERE WILL NOT
BE A NICK ON IT.

THANK YOU,
STEVE.

THAT IS VERY KIND OF YOU.
MY PLEASURE.

THIS YEAR, WE'RE PLANNING A HOLIDAY
DINNER WITH SOME OF OUR OBSCURA FRIENDS.

SINCE WE ALL LIKE TO COLLECT WEIRD STUFF
AND WE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM EVEN MORE,

WE THOUGHT EVERYONE COULD BRING SOMETHING
INTERESTING ALONG FOR SHOW AND TELL.

SO, I'M PAYING A VISIT
TO SOME DEALERS I KNOW

WHO HAVE A WHOLE WAREHOUSE
FULL OF COOL STUFF,

AND I HOPE THEY HAVE JUST THE
PERFECT ITEM FOR ME TO BRING.

HELLO?

HELLO.

HEY, GUYS.
WELCOME.

HOLY SMOKES.

WE GOT A LITTLE BIT
OF EVERYTHING IN HERE.

I'LL SAY.

THIS IS NUTS.

I MEAN, WHEN I SEE YOU SET UP AT BRIMFIELD,
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A COUPLE OF BIG THINGS,

BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU HAD QUITE SO MANY.

I LOVE THE OLD RIDE.

KANGAROO?

OH, IT'S HIS POUCH.

I'M PARTNER
IN OBNOXIOUS ANTIQUES.

WE LIKE FUN STUFF.

WE LIKE STUFF YOU CAN TOUCH AND LAUGH AT
AND HAVE FUN WITH, NOT JUST DUST OFF.

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
THAT'S GONNA BLOW PEOPLE AWAY.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING REALLY
BIZARRE, MAYBE A LITTLE DISGUSTING?

SOMETHING JUST CAME IN.

YOU'LL BE THE FIRST ONE
TO SEE IT.

YEAH?

FOLLOW ME.
THERE SHE IS.

OH, MY GOODNESS!

THIS IS ONE OF THE COOLEST
FREAK MOUNTS I'VE SEEN.

NORMALLY, REALLY SEVERELY DEFORMED
ANIMALS DON'T LIVE VERY LONG.

THIS THING IS HUGE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
AN ADULT SPECIMEN LIKE THAT.

IT'S NOT EVEN TOO HEADS.

IT'S MORE LIKE
IT'S GOT A PARASITIC TWIN.

THAT'S REALLY UNUSUAL.

PARASITIC TWINS OCCUR
WHEN TWIN EMBRYOS IN THE WOMB

DON'T FULLY SEPARATE
AND ONE BECOMES DOMINANT.

THIS SOMETIMES RESULTS IN A STUNTED BODY
THAT'S ATTACHED AT THE LOWER ABDOMEN WITH T

THE PARASITIC TWIN IS OFTEN
BORN WITHOUT A HEART OR A BRAIN

AND IS COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON THE DOMINANT
TWIN FOR FOOD, WATER, AND BASIC CARE.

WELL, THIS IS ONE OF THE COOLEST
TAXIDERMY MOUNTS I'VE EVER SEEN.

IT'S PROBABLY A LITTLE BIG
FOR A DINNER PARTY.

DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
MAYBE SMALLER?

WE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING.

OKAY.

OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S A WAX MOULAGE.

THESE ARE ACTUALLY
MEDICAL MODELS.

SPECIFICALLY, THEY WERE VERY GOOD FOR
SHOWING OFF DERMATOLOGICAL PROBLEMS.

THIS IS SMALLPOX.
I LIKE THE LITTLE PUSTULES.

YOU NOTICE, LIKE, AROUND THE MOUTH,
THEY'RE SORT OF CRUSTY AND YELLOW.

I LOVE THAT CRUST.

FITS PERFECT.
YEAH.

THAT'S REALLY GOOD DETAIL.

LOOKS LIKE REALLY SEVERE ACNE.

REMINDS ME
OF HIGH SCHOOL.

I LOVE
THESE THINGS.

YOU DON'T SEE THEM VERY OFTEN
'CAUSE THE WAX IS SO FRAGILE.

THE CONDITION'S GREAT.

THIS ONE I LIKE A LOT.

I THINK THIS WOULD ACTUALLY
BE PERFECT FOR A DINNER PARTY.

WHAT YOU ASKING ON IT?

I COULD GIVE IT TO YOU
FOR $250.

$250?

THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FAIR.

I'LL TAKE IT FOR $250.
OKAY.

THANK YOU.

THIS IS
THE "ODDITIES HOLIDAY BIZARRE."

SO, HOW'D IT GO?

YOU GUYS FIND SOME DECENT STUFF, OR...
I FOUND SOMETHING COOL, MAN.

FOR THIS YEAR'S OBSCURA HOLIDAY PARTY, WE
INVITED A BUNCH OF OUR FAVORITE CUSTOMERS

OVER FOR DINNER
AT OUR FRIEND NICK'S BAR,

BUT BEFORE DINNER,
WE THOUGHT WE'D DO SOMETHING...

WELL, SOMETHING DIFFERENT
AND POSSIBLY DISTURBING.

MIKE.
HEY.

PEOPLE ARE STARTING
TO ARRIVE.

WE'VE ASKED THEM ALL
TO BRING A SPECIAL ITEM

TO TALK ABOUT FOR SORT OF
A SHOW AND TELL OF SORTS.

YOU MADE IT.

HI, GUYS.
WHAT'S UP, DARLING?

LOOK WHO IT IS.
HIYA, KIDS.

HEY, ANDY.

YOU BROUGHT
YOUR LITTLE FRIEND THERE.

WHO'S THAT?
THIS IS ANGIE ANIMAL.

SO, IS THAT YOUR ITEM
FOR THE PARTY?

THIS IS THE BEST
I COULD DO TODAY.

IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

LET'S HEAD
INTO THE OTHER ROOM.

LET'S DO IT,
GANG.

AFTER YOU, LAURA.

OH, ANDY.

WELL, ANDY, THAT'S GONNA BE
PRETTY HARD TO TOP.

MONIQUE,
YOU WANT TO GO FIRST?

OKAY.
OOH.

ANATOMICAL WAX MODEL.

THAT'S REALLY COOL,
MONIQUE.

IT'S REALLY GORGEOUS, AND ACTUALLY, YOU
CAN SEE SOME OF THE BONE BACK HERE.

YEAH.
THEY CROSS SECTIONED IT.

AWESOME.
VERY NICE.

BEAUTIFUL.

SO, WHAT DID YOU BRING, MIKE?

OH.
WELL...

I GOT A BOMB.

WHAT?

IT'S A WORLD WAR I
MORTAR SHELL.

AND WE'VE GOT
A BOMB TECH.

DEFUSE THE BOMB.

UH-HUH.
MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.

AMAZING, MIKE.

WHO'S NEXT?

LADY LAURA.

OH.
OKAY.

THIS IS A VERY LARGE
BLADDER STONE.

OH!

IT'S ALL
SOLIDIFIED CALCIUM.

I HAVE IT IN PLASTIC BECAUSE
THE SCENT IS REALLY AWFUL.

IT WAS IN A LOT OF INFECTED URINE,
SO WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GROWING ON IT.

VERY NICE, LAURA.

LOVELY STONE.

BEAUTIFUL BLADDER STONE
YOU HAVE.

ALL RIGHT.
I LOVE THESE.

IT'S A WAX MOULAGE.

WOW.

IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL WAX WORK.

IT HAS REAL EYEBROW.

THIS IS SMALLPOX, AND IT HAS
REALLY DELICATELY DONE PUSTULES.

SOME OF THEM HAVE MORE PUS
IN THEM THAN OTHERS.

I'M GETTING
REAL HUNGRY NOW.

THAT'S PRETTY NICE.

THAT'S REALLY WELL-DONE.
WELL, THANK YOU.

ROUND OF APPLAUSE.

SO, I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE
FOR SALE BEFORE.

I'VE SEEN THEM IN MUSEUMS, BUT...
I'LL LET YOU GUYS BE THE JUDGE.

UM...
IT LOOKS LIKE A BEARD.

GORILLA CHEST?

YEAH. YEAH.

THIS IS
A PRESERVED HUMAN SCALP.

- WHOA.
- OH, NICE.

YUMMY.
BUT CHECK THIS OUT.

SO, THE BACK IS SILVER.
A ROBOT.

NO, IT'S NOT A ROBOT.

BUT THE SCALP
WAS ACTUALLY MOUNTED ONTO THIS.

THAT'S AMAZING.
WELL, THAT IS UNUSUAL.

I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT.

VERY NICE.
LOVELY.

SO, THAT LEAVES
ONE PERSON LEFT.

I KIND OF WENT WAY OUT
IN LEFT FIELD IN THIS ONE.

IT'S...
WELL, I'LL GO GET IT.

OH,
HE HAS TO GO GET HIS.

- WHAT?!
- HELLO, CHAP.

WOW.

I WENT WITH THE HIGH-WHEELED BIKE,
ALSO KNOWN AS THE PENNY FARTHING.

WELL,
THAT IS A PRETTY GOOD THING.

WELL-DONE.

WELL, THANKS, EVERYONE,
FOR BRINGING ALL THIS STUFF.

I MEAN, THIS IS KIND OF EXACTLY
WHAT WE WERE HOPING FOR.

YEAH, YOU GUYS LIVED UP
TO YOUR REPUTATION.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS,
ALL THAT GOOD STUFF.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

EVERYBODY'S HUNGRY.
I CAN TELL.

OUR HOLIDAY SHOW AND TELL
WENT OFF WITHOUT A HITCH.

ONE ODD GUEST GIFT TO ANOTHER, THIS
THING WAS A TRULY FESTIVE OCCASION.

OH, LET ME GET
A GATOR PICTURE.

THAT'S CUTE.