Oddballs (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Mayor Max - full transcript
After the mayor cancels the firework festival, James creates a scheme to make Max mayor to uncancel the festival.
Ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, ah!
See? Everything worked out.
Aww, I wanna be a letter.
Woo!
Max! We're going to the firework festival!
As very important VIPs!
V-I-Please.
Hey! Ah! Ugh!
Don't worry! I'll stop her! Hah!
Ah!
Who are you?
I work for the mayor.
And as of 20 seconds ago,
he has officially canceled
the fireworks festival.
Agent Alpha,
returning to the doghouse. Over.
She lives in a doghouse?
Man, people will gentrify
anything these days.
Hey, what's the commotion?
That was the mayor's minion!
How could the mayor
cancel the firework festival?
The paper says
it's because fireworks are scary.
Lies!
Hey, I'm just reading the paper.
Oh, Garfield, you hoot.
This isn't the first time
the mayor's done something like this.
Remember his stupid ban on kids
who whistle and run their sticks
along fences?
Oh, and what about when he banned mailmen
from stepping on people's territory?
I kind of agreed with that one.
And now he's canceling
the firework festival?
It's the happiest day of the year!
The one day everyone in Dirt
gets to enjoy explosions in the sky!
Even Dirt's
missile defense system operators
are taking the day off.
"Day off" you say?
And missiles are like
the kings of fireworks!
The mayor is completely drunk with power!
Someone has to stand up
for the people of Dirt
and tell this tyrant he needs to un-cancel
the firework festival.
And that someone is--
Mr. McFly? No wait, Stuart!
No, I'll get this. Roxanne?
Me, Max. It's me.
Of course it is.
Every adventure's been about you.
Mr. Mayor!
I'm here to demand
you un-cancel the firework festival!
Ah! Ooh! A puppy!
Oh, hey, buddy.
Is your power-drunken pawrent awound?
I have some very choice words
I'd like to yell at him.
Mayor Snuffles, your kibble.
Wait, Mayor Snuffles?
Dirt elected a dog as mayor?
Yup. The Honorable Snuffles
Von Long-Torso.
Ooh, he's Dutch!
Bonjour, Monsieur Mayor.
A dog can't legislate.
This is just a silly gimmick!
Yeah, an easily exploitable
food-motivated gimmick.
All right, Snuffles, you want the kibble?
Hook me up with a minion.
No! You'll get it when you un-cancel
the firework festival.
No.
Why not?
No.
Does his button
do anything else besides say no?
Ah!
Ah! Ugh!
I can't believe you Dirters
elected a Long-Torso dog.
Wait.
Hmm?
If the people of Dirt were silly enough
to elect one cute animal,
they're probably silly enough
to elect another one.
One who would un-cancel
the firework festival.
But where are you gonna find a cute animal
silly enough to do anything you say?
Welcome
to your campaign headquarters, Max!
Oh, I can't believe all these people
are volunteering
their time to get me elected!
Wait, all these people
are working for free?
Who wants to volunteer to run my errands?
Move it!
At your service, friend of candidate Max,
whose name I can't recall.
Sweet! Name's Echo.
As in everything you say, I repeat.
And do.
How about getting me a half-caf,
half-decaf, half-milk, half-soy,
caramel macchiato, extra ice,
and extra hot?
Well, I'm not sure about your maths,
but what do I know?
Ha, I'm a teacher.
Oh, can you get me an iced tea, please?
Buzz off!
You do not sign my paycheck. Sidestep!
Nobody does! You're a volunteer!
Ladies and gentlemen of Dirt,
it's time for a change.
It's time for a cuter mayor!
Oh.
Max is agile, sensitive.
Oh.
And best of all, he can talk!
But only when I'm spoken to!
He's everything you liked about Snuffles,
but less hairy.
So vote for Max for a cuter mayor!
Uh, thanks?
Fireworks, here we come.
Drive thru, here we come!
Who will be Dirt's new mayor?
Yeah! Yeah!
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, you like that? Ha-ha!
Max leading in the polls,
but can he win the race?
Woohoo! Hey!
And here comes Max!
Aww. He's walking like people.
Max! Max! Max!
Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
Is it time for Mayor Snuffles
to bow out of office?
He can't walk like people.
Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
Ah! Ah!
Max reaches new heights!
Snuffles campaign is buried.
Max! Max! Max!
Great job, Mr. Mayor.
Huh, I see you're uncharacteristically
going for a unruly dictator kind of vibe.
I respect that.
Thank you so much for your support, constituent.
The assistant
will see you out now.
Ah!
Hold on. I haven't even told you
why I'm here,
not that I should have to,
considering you're the main cog
in the firework festival wheel.
Sign this document
and the firework festival is back on!
That's a no-no on the go-go.
What? Why not?
Because I have important
secret plans to attend to,
involving Dirt's missile defense systems.
Missile de-what systems?
A-ha! I said too much!
Huh?
Ah!
Your rotisserie chicken, Mr. Mayor.
Ugh!
Oh, oh, my, oh.
Oh, I wish these wings actually worked.
Ah! Ugh!
Has anyone seen my minion?
Ah!
Oh, no! My best friend
has already gone mad with power!
I can't believe it happened so fast,
which means
there's only one thing I can do.
Get him driven out of office
and replace him with a puppet who
will green light the firework festival!
Ah!
All right, I'll cut to the chase.
I've got dangerous dirt
on Dirt's new mayor,
and I'll leak it to the press
to get you re-elected,
if you promise to undo the firework ban.
And before you say anything,
this laptop controls
Dirt's emergency alert system.
You'll use its satellite to reveal
to the entire town
that Max is going
to do something nefarious
with the missile defense system.
Once they realize that,
they'll drive him out of office,
in other words, a character assassination.
Assassination.
Yes, a character assassination.
Yes, assassination.
Of his character.
Sure.
Good. I'm glad we're on the same page.
No.
Uh-oh.
Hey, James! Over here!
That's uncharacteristically weird.
Snuffles, you stay here
and get started
on the character assassination.
Max, what's going on?
I thought you weren't talking to me.
Surprise! It's a fireworks show!
Huh? But you shot me out of the shoot.
Oh, I just played the crazy despot
so I could surprise you
with the best fireworks show
Dirt has ever seen!
With the king of fireworks,
Dirt's missile defense system!
Oh.
Thanks, Max.
Now, where did I put my boomie button?
Oh, no! Snuffles!
Snuffles! Drop it!
Huh?
Ugh!
Oh.
Snuffles!
I'm calling off
the character assassination!
Target locked. Death laser ready.
Death laser?
No! Character assassination! Character!
Right. Assassination.
Here's boomie!
No!
Max! Look out!
Turn, turn, turn, turn!
Ooh!
Whoa.
Beautiful.
Ah!
Wasn't me.
Oh. You saved me.
Of course! You're my best intern.
And I think you've earned yourself
some paid time off.
Time's up, back to work.
Yes!
Best firework festival ever.
I'm sorry I unleashed
a homicidal dog on you.
Hey, that's politics.
It's so nice to know that
dangerous revenge behavior
can be laughed away as politics.
Oh, so that's why we have
a prosthetic moon in the future.
Well, I know I supported
your campaign, Mayor Max,
but that seemed like a gross misuse
of Dirt's only missile defense system.
Fortunately for you,
there is nothing bad that ever happens
in Dirt that we need missiles for.
No.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, ah!
See? Everything worked out.
Aww, I wanna be a letter.
Woo!
Max! We're going to the firework festival!
As very important VIPs!
V-I-Please.
Hey! Ah! Ugh!
Don't worry! I'll stop her! Hah!
Ah!
Who are you?
I work for the mayor.
And as of 20 seconds ago,
he has officially canceled
the fireworks festival.
Agent Alpha,
returning to the doghouse. Over.
She lives in a doghouse?
Man, people will gentrify
anything these days.
Hey, what's the commotion?
That was the mayor's minion!
How could the mayor
cancel the firework festival?
The paper says
it's because fireworks are scary.
Lies!
Hey, I'm just reading the paper.
Oh, Garfield, you hoot.
This isn't the first time
the mayor's done something like this.
Remember his stupid ban on kids
who whistle and run their sticks
along fences?
Oh, and what about when he banned mailmen
from stepping on people's territory?
I kind of agreed with that one.
And now he's canceling
the firework festival?
It's the happiest day of the year!
The one day everyone in Dirt
gets to enjoy explosions in the sky!
Even Dirt's
missile defense system operators
are taking the day off.
"Day off" you say?
And missiles are like
the kings of fireworks!
The mayor is completely drunk with power!
Someone has to stand up
for the people of Dirt
and tell this tyrant he needs to un-cancel
the firework festival.
And that someone is--
Mr. McFly? No wait, Stuart!
No, I'll get this. Roxanne?
Me, Max. It's me.
Of course it is.
Every adventure's been about you.
Mr. Mayor!
I'm here to demand
you un-cancel the firework festival!
Ah! Ooh! A puppy!
Oh, hey, buddy.
Is your power-drunken pawrent awound?
I have some very choice words
I'd like to yell at him.
Mayor Snuffles, your kibble.
Wait, Mayor Snuffles?
Dirt elected a dog as mayor?
Yup. The Honorable Snuffles
Von Long-Torso.
Ooh, he's Dutch!
Bonjour, Monsieur Mayor.
A dog can't legislate.
This is just a silly gimmick!
Yeah, an easily exploitable
food-motivated gimmick.
All right, Snuffles, you want the kibble?
Hook me up with a minion.
No! You'll get it when you un-cancel
the firework festival.
No.
Why not?
No.
Does his button
do anything else besides say no?
Ah!
Ah! Ugh!
I can't believe you Dirters
elected a Long-Torso dog.
Wait.
Hmm?
If the people of Dirt were silly enough
to elect one cute animal,
they're probably silly enough
to elect another one.
One who would un-cancel
the firework festival.
But where are you gonna find a cute animal
silly enough to do anything you say?
Welcome
to your campaign headquarters, Max!
Oh, I can't believe all these people
are volunteering
their time to get me elected!
Wait, all these people
are working for free?
Who wants to volunteer to run my errands?
Move it!
At your service, friend of candidate Max,
whose name I can't recall.
Sweet! Name's Echo.
As in everything you say, I repeat.
And do.
How about getting me a half-caf,
half-decaf, half-milk, half-soy,
caramel macchiato, extra ice,
and extra hot?
Well, I'm not sure about your maths,
but what do I know?
Ha, I'm a teacher.
Oh, can you get me an iced tea, please?
Buzz off!
You do not sign my paycheck. Sidestep!
Nobody does! You're a volunteer!
Ladies and gentlemen of Dirt,
it's time for a change.
It's time for a cuter mayor!
Oh.
Max is agile, sensitive.
Oh.
And best of all, he can talk!
But only when I'm spoken to!
He's everything you liked about Snuffles,
but less hairy.
So vote for Max for a cuter mayor!
Uh, thanks?
Fireworks, here we come.
Drive thru, here we come!
Who will be Dirt's new mayor?
Yeah! Yeah!
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, you like that? Ha-ha!
Max leading in the polls,
but can he win the race?
Woohoo! Hey!
And here comes Max!
Aww. He's walking like people.
Max! Max! Max!
Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
Is it time for Mayor Snuffles
to bow out of office?
He can't walk like people.
Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
Ah! Ah!
Max reaches new heights!
Snuffles campaign is buried.
Max! Max! Max!
Great job, Mr. Mayor.
Huh, I see you're uncharacteristically
going for a unruly dictator kind of vibe.
I respect that.
Thank you so much for your support, constituent.
The assistant
will see you out now.
Ah!
Hold on. I haven't even told you
why I'm here,
not that I should have to,
considering you're the main cog
in the firework festival wheel.
Sign this document
and the firework festival is back on!
That's a no-no on the go-go.
What? Why not?
Because I have important
secret plans to attend to,
involving Dirt's missile defense systems.
Missile de-what systems?
A-ha! I said too much!
Huh?
Ah!
Your rotisserie chicken, Mr. Mayor.
Ugh!
Oh, oh, my, oh.
Oh, I wish these wings actually worked.
Ah! Ugh!
Has anyone seen my minion?
Ah!
Oh, no! My best friend
has already gone mad with power!
I can't believe it happened so fast,
which means
there's only one thing I can do.
Get him driven out of office
and replace him with a puppet who
will green light the firework festival!
Ah!
All right, I'll cut to the chase.
I've got dangerous dirt
on Dirt's new mayor,
and I'll leak it to the press
to get you re-elected,
if you promise to undo the firework ban.
And before you say anything,
this laptop controls
Dirt's emergency alert system.
You'll use its satellite to reveal
to the entire town
that Max is going
to do something nefarious
with the missile defense system.
Once they realize that,
they'll drive him out of office,
in other words, a character assassination.
Assassination.
Yes, a character assassination.
Yes, assassination.
Of his character.
Sure.
Good. I'm glad we're on the same page.
No.
Uh-oh.
Hey, James! Over here!
That's uncharacteristically weird.
Snuffles, you stay here
and get started
on the character assassination.
Max, what's going on?
I thought you weren't talking to me.
Surprise! It's a fireworks show!
Huh? But you shot me out of the shoot.
Oh, I just played the crazy despot
so I could surprise you
with the best fireworks show
Dirt has ever seen!
With the king of fireworks,
Dirt's missile defense system!
Oh.
Thanks, Max.
Now, where did I put my boomie button?
Oh, no! Snuffles!
Snuffles! Drop it!
Huh?
Ugh!
Oh.
Snuffles!
I'm calling off
the character assassination!
Target locked. Death laser ready.
Death laser?
No! Character assassination! Character!
Right. Assassination.
Here's boomie!
No!
Max! Look out!
Turn, turn, turn, turn!
Ooh!
Whoa.
Beautiful.
Ah!
Wasn't me.
Oh. You saved me.
Of course! You're my best intern.
And I think you've earned yourself
some paid time off.
Time's up, back to work.
Yes!
Best firework festival ever.
I'm sorry I unleashed
a homicidal dog on you.
Hey, that's politics.
It's so nice to know that
dangerous revenge behavior
can be laughed away as politics.
Oh, so that's why we have
a prosthetic moon in the future.
Well, I know I supported
your campaign, Mayor Max,
but that seemed like a gross misuse
of Dirt's only missile defense system.
Fortunately for you,
there is nothing bad that ever happens
in Dirt that we need missiles for.
No.