Oddballs (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Class Act - full transcript
While sneaking into the teachers lounge to snag sweet treats, James is mistaken for a substitute teacher and faces the wrath of a competitive Mr. McFly.
Ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, ah!
See? Everything worked out.
Aww, I wanna be a letter!
Yuck!
No junk food!
Mmm.
Psst! You got the stuff?
Ah!
I've got all your faves; Cheese Puffs,
Cherry Nub-Nubs, and Double Choccy Milk.
Double Choccy Milk? I asked for a Triple.
Yeah, no, you can't handle the Triple.
It's not for you.
Now, have you got what I asked for?
Perfect! Sweet! Thanks!
And don't do anything crazy
with my mom's lab key card.
Relax. I'm just gonna borrow tools
to build a device that will aid
in our quest to save the future.
And by our, I mean my,
because you're too in denial to help.
Plus, it's Taco Tuesday.
I could have handled the Triple.
Choccy my milk, cheese my puffs,
one little nub is never enough.
Hyah!
Ah!
Hah!
Ah!
I knew I sensed sugar.
Read the rules!
"No junk food or candy on Campus."
Ah!
Mmm. Mm-mm. I love confiscated snacks.
Yah! Time to grub-grub
on some Cherry Nub-Nubs!
That's fine.
Is there a Triple Choccy Milk?
You can't handle the Triple!
Mm-mm-m. You see this, Max?
Yeah!
Dr. Squats put her feet on the table.
No! The bin full of confiscated snacks!
How is it that teachers
can prohibit students
from enjoying junk food at school,
but then eat candy themselves
in the teacher's lounge,
which is in the school?
Max, I'm done with the injustice.
I'm gonna orchestrate a heist
into the teacher's lounge
to liberate our snacks.
But you're not a teacher!
You can't go into the teacher's lounge!
If you get caught, you'll be expelled!
Or worse!
I won't get expelled, Max.
Daddy's got a plan.
Why are you calling yourself daddy?
Okay, here's the plan.
First, you'll stay outside
and be on lookout.
Second, I'll go inside
and grab the snacks.
That... That's it?
I thought it'd be more complicated
when you broke out the blueprints.
Remember the plan.
Wait. What was the plan again?
Oh, I better check the blueprints!
Ooh, candy.
Triple Choccy Milk!
Pfft. Can't handle the Triple.
I'll show Echo.
Oh, I like the burn.
Did I hear a juvenile cough?
Young man! Students aren't allowed
in the teacher's lounge!
I'm sorry, Principal Loudspeaker.
Oh-ha-ho!
It's I who should be sorry.
I d-d-didn't see the mustache.
You look good, sir.
You must be our new substitute
teacher.
Uh, yeah! New sub, ha, that's me.
Well, well, well, we're thrilled to have
an instructor of your caliber
here at Dirt High!
What was your name again?
It's, uh, Choccy.
Choccy Milkinson.
Mr. Milkinson, for short.
Sounds legit.
Mr. McFly!
Please show our new sub to his class.
So you're the new hotshot sub?
Uh... Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm. Figures. Figures.
You don't have the confidence
of a full-timer.
Are you nervous? Well, don't be.
As long as you remember
that I am Dirt's star teacher.
Well, here is your class.
If you need anything,
I'll be right across the hall.
And I'll be watching you
like a spider watches me.
Ow! Ugh.
Sorry, new teacher.
I have to remember what the plan
was for my buddy, James.
You know how to read a blueprint?
Max, it's me!
Witch!
Shh! No! I got caught in the lounge,
and I didn't want to get expelled,
and I said I wasn't a student,
and I guess my milk mustache sold it,
and now I'm posing
as a substitute teacher,
and Choccy Milk made me do it!
Echo was right.
You can't handle the Triple.
What? Yes, I can!
I just need to make it through the day
without anyone realizing I'm a kid.
Can you cover for me in McFly's class
so I don’t get expelled?
You want me to dress up
and pretend to be you?
What? No, just tell people
I'm sick or something.
Cry! Cry! Cry! My life is so hard!
I need to complain about everything!
Can I speak to your manager?
Oh, typical James. No, you cannot.
Now, just-just sit down.
Oh, he's good.
Uh-yah!
All right. All right. Calm down.
Quiet llama.
Quiet llama!
Can't you see the quiet llama?
It's quiet llama time!
Quiet llama!
What? It's quiet llama!
The first one to sit down
and be quiet gets candy.
It worked. It worked!
Um, Mr. Milkinson.
I'm impressed at how well-behaved
your students are.
I might have to make you
Teacher of the Month.
Teacher of the Month?
To a sub?
Well, I've been trying
to get that title for years!
And there's only two teachers
at this school.
Mr. Mc-Sigh!
Not now, James! Not now!
You can forget about
Teacher of the Month, Mr. Milkinson.
I've got something in slime for you.
James, stop flicking the lights.
Sorry, Mr. McFly.
Oh, Mr. Milkinson!
Meet your new student, Stuart.
Oh, you doing okay there, Milkinson?
Uh, yup. Fine. Cool. I'm cool.
Good. Good, good, good, good.
'Cause Stuart's been a bit
of a problem child in my class,
so Principal Loudspeaker
and I decided that Dirt's
Substitute Teacher of the Month
could handle it.
But this is a kindergarten class.
I know.
Hilarious, right?
Why hello there, young--
Ha! Save it, James, I know it's you.
I'd recognize that shiny bald head
and those soulless little eyes
from a mile away.
Please don't rat me out.
Ha! Don't worry, I won't...
'cause I don't have to.
They're gonna figure it out
for themselves.
Hey, kid, why kinda name
is Milkinson anyway?
I bet his dad's a cow.
Yeah! Moo! Moo!
It's like it isn't even a real name.
Moo! Moo!
Quack, quack!
M-M-M-M-Milkinson!
Why are the children mooing? Huh?
That's one letter away from b-b-b-booing!
Ha, I quacked.
Mr. Milkinson,
get these calves under control!
A real teacher would take care of this.
Unless you're a phony baloney!
No. No. No, no, no, no, no.
I need more individually-wrapped supplies!
Mr. McFly! I need you to cover
my class while I get more candy!
Is something wrong, Milkinson?
Oh, what's the matter?
Cwass won't wisten to you
without your candy?
It's your candy too.
What are you talking about?
It's all of our candy.
What are you trying to tell me, James?
Just spit it out already.
All the candy I was using
was stolen from students.
Oh, my gosh!
You know those Cheese Puffs
that were taken from you today?
Oh, what's he doing to my Cheese Puffs?
I say we make a move
and get our candy back.
Join me, Stuart,
and together we can redistribute
each piece of candy to its rightful child!
Like Halloween.
Yeah.
This heist is gonna be the biggest heist
that I've ever done.
It's going to need three steps.
First,
I'll write a note saying James
is wanted in the principal's office.
That's me.
Mmm.
Second...
Oi hoy, hoy.
...you'll instruct him to pose
as Mr. Milkinson
so my class isn't left unattended.
And finally, you'll distract McFly
while I sneak in through the window
and retrieve the candy.
Oh, please, Mr. McFly,
let me back in your dumb class.
Oh, you're a way better teacher
than Mr. Moo-kinson.
Hmm.
Ascend.
Ascend!
And your stained sweater,
I mean most people wouldn't be
confident enough to walk around like that.
But not you. You like being disgusting.
Oh. He couldn't even teach a class
if his life depended on it.
Hmm?
Huh.
Hey, get off! That's my nose!
And that mustache, oh, how you--
Wait!
That's not Milkinson!
Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
Oh, really?
Because it looks like you're trying
to take us full-timers' rightfully stolen,
uh, I mean confiscated,
snacks!
That was your plan from the beginning,
wasn't it,
Mr. Milkinson?
You're absolutely right!
I came to Dirt to take back these snacks
and rightfully return them to the students
because I couldn't stand by the hypocrisy
of this school's no candy rule,
a rule where teachers can eat candy
but students can't?
Is that just? Is that fair?
Kids should be able to snack freely
the same way that teachers do.
We all work hard!
We all deserve to treat ourselves!
Mr. Milkinson.
I am touched.
I started as a substitute teacher,
like you,
because I wanted to make a difference.
And when I got promoted to substitute
principal, I swore I'd never run a school
with unfair rules!
I guess I lost my way.
The no snack rule is lifted!
Kids! Eat your snacks!
And in addition to making
you Teacher of the Month,
I'd like to offer you
a full-time position.
With a raise.
A raise?
I've been working as a volunteer
for all these years!
Oh, no!
Thank you, Principal Loudspeaker.
Why me? Why me?
It's been an honor. But I'm afraid...
Life is not fair!
...my job here...
Why, Momma?
...is done.
Look into all my eyes
and tell me why!
I knew it. You drank a Triple, didn't you?
Yeah.
I knew you couldn't handle the Triple.
Not now, James! Not now!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, ah!
See? Everything worked out.
Aww, I wanna be a letter!
Yuck!
No junk food!
Mmm.
Psst! You got the stuff?
Ah!
I've got all your faves; Cheese Puffs,
Cherry Nub-Nubs, and Double Choccy Milk.
Double Choccy Milk? I asked for a Triple.
Yeah, no, you can't handle the Triple.
It's not for you.
Now, have you got what I asked for?
Perfect! Sweet! Thanks!
And don't do anything crazy
with my mom's lab key card.
Relax. I'm just gonna borrow tools
to build a device that will aid
in our quest to save the future.
And by our, I mean my,
because you're too in denial to help.
Plus, it's Taco Tuesday.
I could have handled the Triple.
Choccy my milk, cheese my puffs,
one little nub is never enough.
Hyah!
Ah!
Hah!
Ah!
I knew I sensed sugar.
Read the rules!
"No junk food or candy on Campus."
Ah!
Mmm. Mm-mm. I love confiscated snacks.
Yah! Time to grub-grub
on some Cherry Nub-Nubs!
That's fine.
Is there a Triple Choccy Milk?
You can't handle the Triple!
Mm-mm-m. You see this, Max?
Yeah!
Dr. Squats put her feet on the table.
No! The bin full of confiscated snacks!
How is it that teachers
can prohibit students
from enjoying junk food at school,
but then eat candy themselves
in the teacher's lounge,
which is in the school?
Max, I'm done with the injustice.
I'm gonna orchestrate a heist
into the teacher's lounge
to liberate our snacks.
But you're not a teacher!
You can't go into the teacher's lounge!
If you get caught, you'll be expelled!
Or worse!
I won't get expelled, Max.
Daddy's got a plan.
Why are you calling yourself daddy?
Okay, here's the plan.
First, you'll stay outside
and be on lookout.
Second, I'll go inside
and grab the snacks.
That... That's it?
I thought it'd be more complicated
when you broke out the blueprints.
Remember the plan.
Wait. What was the plan again?
Oh, I better check the blueprints!
Ooh, candy.
Triple Choccy Milk!
Pfft. Can't handle the Triple.
I'll show Echo.
Oh, I like the burn.
Did I hear a juvenile cough?
Young man! Students aren't allowed
in the teacher's lounge!
I'm sorry, Principal Loudspeaker.
Oh-ha-ho!
It's I who should be sorry.
I d-d-didn't see the mustache.
You look good, sir.
You must be our new substitute
teacher.
Uh, yeah! New sub, ha, that's me.
Well, well, well, we're thrilled to have
an instructor of your caliber
here at Dirt High!
What was your name again?
It's, uh, Choccy.
Choccy Milkinson.
Mr. Milkinson, for short.
Sounds legit.
Mr. McFly!
Please show our new sub to his class.
So you're the new hotshot sub?
Uh... Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm. Figures. Figures.
You don't have the confidence
of a full-timer.
Are you nervous? Well, don't be.
As long as you remember
that I am Dirt's star teacher.
Well, here is your class.
If you need anything,
I'll be right across the hall.
And I'll be watching you
like a spider watches me.
Ow! Ugh.
Sorry, new teacher.
I have to remember what the plan
was for my buddy, James.
You know how to read a blueprint?
Max, it's me!
Witch!
Shh! No! I got caught in the lounge,
and I didn't want to get expelled,
and I said I wasn't a student,
and I guess my milk mustache sold it,
and now I'm posing
as a substitute teacher,
and Choccy Milk made me do it!
Echo was right.
You can't handle the Triple.
What? Yes, I can!
I just need to make it through the day
without anyone realizing I'm a kid.
Can you cover for me in McFly's class
so I don’t get expelled?
You want me to dress up
and pretend to be you?
What? No, just tell people
I'm sick or something.
Cry! Cry! Cry! My life is so hard!
I need to complain about everything!
Can I speak to your manager?
Oh, typical James. No, you cannot.
Now, just-just sit down.
Oh, he's good.
Uh-yah!
All right. All right. Calm down.
Quiet llama.
Quiet llama!
Can't you see the quiet llama?
It's quiet llama time!
Quiet llama!
What? It's quiet llama!
The first one to sit down
and be quiet gets candy.
It worked. It worked!
Um, Mr. Milkinson.
I'm impressed at how well-behaved
your students are.
I might have to make you
Teacher of the Month.
Teacher of the Month?
To a sub?
Well, I've been trying
to get that title for years!
And there's only two teachers
at this school.
Mr. Mc-Sigh!
Not now, James! Not now!
You can forget about
Teacher of the Month, Mr. Milkinson.
I've got something in slime for you.
James, stop flicking the lights.
Sorry, Mr. McFly.
Oh, Mr. Milkinson!
Meet your new student, Stuart.
Oh, you doing okay there, Milkinson?
Uh, yup. Fine. Cool. I'm cool.
Good. Good, good, good, good.
'Cause Stuart's been a bit
of a problem child in my class,
so Principal Loudspeaker
and I decided that Dirt's
Substitute Teacher of the Month
could handle it.
But this is a kindergarten class.
I know.
Hilarious, right?
Why hello there, young--
Ha! Save it, James, I know it's you.
I'd recognize that shiny bald head
and those soulless little eyes
from a mile away.
Please don't rat me out.
Ha! Don't worry, I won't...
'cause I don't have to.
They're gonna figure it out
for themselves.
Hey, kid, why kinda name
is Milkinson anyway?
I bet his dad's a cow.
Yeah! Moo! Moo!
It's like it isn't even a real name.
Moo! Moo!
Quack, quack!
M-M-M-M-Milkinson!
Why are the children mooing? Huh?
That's one letter away from b-b-b-booing!
Ha, I quacked.
Mr. Milkinson,
get these calves under control!
A real teacher would take care of this.
Unless you're a phony baloney!
No. No. No, no, no, no, no.
I need more individually-wrapped supplies!
Mr. McFly! I need you to cover
my class while I get more candy!
Is something wrong, Milkinson?
Oh, what's the matter?
Cwass won't wisten to you
without your candy?
It's your candy too.
What are you talking about?
It's all of our candy.
What are you trying to tell me, James?
Just spit it out already.
All the candy I was using
was stolen from students.
Oh, my gosh!
You know those Cheese Puffs
that were taken from you today?
Oh, what's he doing to my Cheese Puffs?
I say we make a move
and get our candy back.
Join me, Stuart,
and together we can redistribute
each piece of candy to its rightful child!
Like Halloween.
Yeah.
This heist is gonna be the biggest heist
that I've ever done.
It's going to need three steps.
First,
I'll write a note saying James
is wanted in the principal's office.
That's me.
Mmm.
Second...
Oi hoy, hoy.
...you'll instruct him to pose
as Mr. Milkinson
so my class isn't left unattended.
And finally, you'll distract McFly
while I sneak in through the window
and retrieve the candy.
Oh, please, Mr. McFly,
let me back in your dumb class.
Oh, you're a way better teacher
than Mr. Moo-kinson.
Hmm.
Ascend.
Ascend!
And your stained sweater,
I mean most people wouldn't be
confident enough to walk around like that.
But not you. You like being disgusting.
Oh. He couldn't even teach a class
if his life depended on it.
Hmm?
Huh.
Hey, get off! That's my nose!
And that mustache, oh, how you--
Wait!
That's not Milkinson!
Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
Oh, really?
Because it looks like you're trying
to take us full-timers' rightfully stolen,
uh, I mean confiscated,
snacks!
That was your plan from the beginning,
wasn't it,
Mr. Milkinson?
You're absolutely right!
I came to Dirt to take back these snacks
and rightfully return them to the students
because I couldn't stand by the hypocrisy
of this school's no candy rule,
a rule where teachers can eat candy
but students can't?
Is that just? Is that fair?
Kids should be able to snack freely
the same way that teachers do.
We all work hard!
We all deserve to treat ourselves!
Mr. Milkinson.
I am touched.
I started as a substitute teacher,
like you,
because I wanted to make a difference.
And when I got promoted to substitute
principal, I swore I'd never run a school
with unfair rules!
I guess I lost my way.
The no snack rule is lifted!
Kids! Eat your snacks!
And in addition to making
you Teacher of the Month,
I'd like to offer you
a full-time position.
With a raise.
A raise?
I've been working as a volunteer
for all these years!
Oh, no!
Thank you, Principal Loudspeaker.
Why me? Why me?
It's been an honor. But I'm afraid...
Life is not fair!
...my job here...
Why, Momma?
...is done.
Look into all my eyes
and tell me why!
I knew it. You drank a Triple, didn't you?
Yeah.
I knew you couldn't handle the Triple.
Not now, James! Not now!