Oddballs (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 12 - Nugget Nonsense - full transcript
When James learns he's too old for the kids' menu, he heads to Dirt's cloning lab so he can have as many of his favorite dino nuggets as he wants.
Go, go, go, go, go!
See?
Everything worked out.
Aw, I wanna be a letter!
Echo, if there's one
thing you need to try
before Professor Dumas
supposedly ruins food,
it's dino nuggets!
-Dino--
-I know what you're thinking.
Aren't they just like adult nuggets,
but in a different shape?
No. I'm thinking about how
I sound nothing like that.
And now I'm thinking of
fun ways to hurt you.
Yay!
Honestly, more food should
be shaped like dinosaurs,
creatures whose time on earth was
cut short by their one weakness:
a giant fiery asteroid, which killed them.
Yay!
My food!
Hey, Foodball Joe!
What do you want?
For the table, I'd like an order of your
deep fried dino nuggets, please.
I'm gonna need to see some ID.
Oh, really?
I've been here a bajillion times
and I've never been carded.
"If you look over 10,
you must show ID"?
No Dino nuggets.
Too old to order off the kids' menu.
-Too old, too old.
Are you gonna
order something else?
Too old?
Too old?
That is the most backwards
nonsense I've ever heard.
You're supposed to get carded
for things you're too
young for, like spray paint
or movies made by French people!
Why can't I order off the kids' menu?
I'm still a kid.
I don't work or pay for insurance.
I drink juice from squeezy pouches.
Hey, rules are rules!
Rules, schmules!
An age limit on food makes no sense!
Oh, well. Time to eat
like an adult now!
Nothing childish about that.
I'll take one adult
food ball supreme.
Coming right up.
Ball!
No, we don't want your
greasy ball of grease
or any of your other adult menu foods!
I want my Dino nuggets!
I got another pin!
"Order something or leave."
Hmm.
Whoa!
I can't believe that my tongue
will never get to experience
the taste Valhalla
that is dino nuggets ever again!
I'm sorry you
weren't able to try one.
Twelve-pack. Dino nuggets.
Finally, a chance to
get my Shady Deal badge!
Good try, but there's no way
that's going to work.
Foodball Joe's gonna
see right through it.
What, you-- you think a guy
with a boot hat can't be fooled?
Yay! It worked!
Oh, sweet nuggets
in the morning!
Hey! I said a 12-pack!
Service fee.
Oh, well. One's
better than none!
No, no, no, you
can't have just one!
But I know of a way we can eat
all the dino nuggets we want.
And I'll never have to
deal with Foodball Joe
and his dumb rules ever again!
Dirt's lab is famous for having
the most advanced cloning
program on the planet.
All the other cloning
programs are copycats.
Patience, Max.
All right, tasty dino nugget
clones coming right up!
Uh, isn't ancient
cloning dangerous?
And I don't ask that
because I'm scared.
Just pointing out how
exciting this could be.
Nope. Cloning's a hundred
percent safe and super easy.
Honestly, if I mess this up,
I'll only have me,
myself, and I to blame,
which is something I never do.
So, this'll be a
first time all around.
Now, how do you
turn this thing on?
I know.
Button mash!
Ahh!
Sweet and sour
sauce, they're alive!
Hey, they kind of look like you.
If you were a
breaded tasty snack.
Max's DNA must have
gotten mixed in
with the original nugget
before we cloned it.
Huh! I guess it's not my fault.
You're going to eat them?
Uh, yeah.
Ahhhh--
Wait!
I think they're
communicating with me.
Beep beep? Beep
peep peep-eep beep.
They're afraid.
No, wait.
We should be afraid.
What? Why?
They say they're
going to eat us!
How? Toe by toe?
Oh, no! You've offended them.
And I'm about to dip them in
some sweet and sour sauce.
Uh, guys?
What's happening?
Dino nuggets, six o'clock!
I think that just
made them crispier!
Oh, I'm so hungry!
Quick, hide!
-Hi, kids!
What do you think of my
new ride? It's a lease.
Can you believe it? I'm just
on my way to get it insured.
James! Please, I'm trying
to tell you something--
Oh, come on!
We cloned spicy nuggets?
Hide!
My lease!
Ta-da! Pizza ball!
Hide, hide, hide! Angry
dinosaur nuggets escaped the lab
-and are coming to eat us!
Clever girl.
What did you do?
What did you do?
Your dino nuggets
are clearly juiced up
with growth hormones
or something!
Please!
Growth hormones are
totally harmless,
unless you mix them
with crocodile DNA.
What idiot would do that?
I mean, everyone knows.
You know, uh, we should leave.
I have a family.
Let's go!
Look, Joe, I know we've
had our differences,
but we don't have much time.
In case we all die, I
just wanted to say--
No apology needed, kid.
Aha! You just admitted I'm a kid!
Nice try.
But no nuggies for you!
What? Just let me have them!
Rules are rules,
and you are no kid!
Rules, schmules! We're
about to die here!
What are you doing?
Get away while you can!
No, Joe's right.
Rules are rules.
And this all started
because of a stupid one.
But what if that stupid one
was a turning point?
A signal that it's
time for my taste buds
to step into adulthood?
James. I don't think you
know what you're saying.
It's time, Max.
I need to order off
of the adult menu.
Echo. Keep those
nuggets distracted.
What do you think I've
been doing the entire time?
Max, run play 399!
And Foodball Joe,
one foodball supreme, please.
Extra ball-y.
Come on, come on, come on. Agh!
I got this. Whoo!
Agh!
Ahh! Ahh-haah-ah!
Hey!
Over here! Over here!
Order up!
After all that, you miss? Ah!
Foodball Joe!
Hold on. Any second now.
Is that--?
A foodball supreme!
Jump!
RIP in pieces, Foodball Joe.
You were a real one.
How's my shop?
It's okay, right?
Mmm! You're right, James.
The dino nugget shape really
does make a difference.
These are great, but can you
stop bringing things to life
in your quest for perfect foods?
So what else have you
brought to life?
A toaster.
But James made him stop living.
I admit, Toasty was a mistake.
But look at this!
Plenty of nuggets to go around.
-Toasty?
-Yeah. Our son.
That's him! Emperor Toasty!
He led the uprising of appliances
that ruin food forever.
Hear that, James?
Our boy is an overachiever!
No!
You're the Dumas!
You're the reason the
food future sucks so much!
We don't know that.
I mean, sure, the flashbacks
were pretty clear,
but not so clear that I
can't read between the lines
and let myself off the hook!
Toasty is alive in the now.
And you need to fix what you
started before it's too late!
Pfft, that's ridiculous.
No way Toasty's still alive!
Oh, did I forget to mention
that Toasty toasts his maker?
Like in Pinocchio?
I'm sure it'll work itself out.
Why?!
This is like Pinocchio!
See?
Everything worked out.
Aw, I wanna be a letter!
Echo, if there's one
thing you need to try
before Professor Dumas
supposedly ruins food,
it's dino nuggets!
-Dino--
-I know what you're thinking.
Aren't they just like adult nuggets,
but in a different shape?
No. I'm thinking about how
I sound nothing like that.
And now I'm thinking of
fun ways to hurt you.
Yay!
Honestly, more food should
be shaped like dinosaurs,
creatures whose time on earth was
cut short by their one weakness:
a giant fiery asteroid, which killed them.
Yay!
My food!
Hey, Foodball Joe!
What do you want?
For the table, I'd like an order of your
deep fried dino nuggets, please.
I'm gonna need to see some ID.
Oh, really?
I've been here a bajillion times
and I've never been carded.
"If you look over 10,
you must show ID"?
No Dino nuggets.
Too old to order off the kids' menu.
-Too old, too old.
Are you gonna
order something else?
Too old?
Too old?
That is the most backwards
nonsense I've ever heard.
You're supposed to get carded
for things you're too
young for, like spray paint
or movies made by French people!
Why can't I order off the kids' menu?
I'm still a kid.
I don't work or pay for insurance.
I drink juice from squeezy pouches.
Hey, rules are rules!
Rules, schmules!
An age limit on food makes no sense!
Oh, well. Time to eat
like an adult now!
Nothing childish about that.
I'll take one adult
food ball supreme.
Coming right up.
Ball!
No, we don't want your
greasy ball of grease
or any of your other adult menu foods!
I want my Dino nuggets!
I got another pin!
"Order something or leave."
Hmm.
Whoa!
I can't believe that my tongue
will never get to experience
the taste Valhalla
that is dino nuggets ever again!
I'm sorry you
weren't able to try one.
Twelve-pack. Dino nuggets.
Finally, a chance to
get my Shady Deal badge!
Good try, but there's no way
that's going to work.
Foodball Joe's gonna
see right through it.
What, you-- you think a guy
with a boot hat can't be fooled?
Yay! It worked!
Oh, sweet nuggets
in the morning!
Hey! I said a 12-pack!
Service fee.
Oh, well. One's
better than none!
No, no, no, you
can't have just one!
But I know of a way we can eat
all the dino nuggets we want.
And I'll never have to
deal with Foodball Joe
and his dumb rules ever again!
Dirt's lab is famous for having
the most advanced cloning
program on the planet.
All the other cloning
programs are copycats.
Patience, Max.
All right, tasty dino nugget
clones coming right up!
Uh, isn't ancient
cloning dangerous?
And I don't ask that
because I'm scared.
Just pointing out how
exciting this could be.
Nope. Cloning's a hundred
percent safe and super easy.
Honestly, if I mess this up,
I'll only have me,
myself, and I to blame,
which is something I never do.
So, this'll be a
first time all around.
Now, how do you
turn this thing on?
I know.
Button mash!
Ahh!
Sweet and sour
sauce, they're alive!
Hey, they kind of look like you.
If you were a
breaded tasty snack.
Max's DNA must have
gotten mixed in
with the original nugget
before we cloned it.
Huh! I guess it's not my fault.
You're going to eat them?
Uh, yeah.
Ahhhh--
Wait!
I think they're
communicating with me.
Beep beep? Beep
peep peep-eep beep.
They're afraid.
No, wait.
We should be afraid.
What? Why?
They say they're
going to eat us!
How? Toe by toe?
Oh, no! You've offended them.
And I'm about to dip them in
some sweet and sour sauce.
Uh, guys?
What's happening?
Dino nuggets, six o'clock!
I think that just
made them crispier!
Oh, I'm so hungry!
Quick, hide!
-Hi, kids!
What do you think of my
new ride? It's a lease.
Can you believe it? I'm just
on my way to get it insured.
James! Please, I'm trying
to tell you something--
Oh, come on!
We cloned spicy nuggets?
Hide!
My lease!
Ta-da! Pizza ball!
Hide, hide, hide! Angry
dinosaur nuggets escaped the lab
-and are coming to eat us!
Clever girl.
What did you do?
What did you do?
Your dino nuggets
are clearly juiced up
with growth hormones
or something!
Please!
Growth hormones are
totally harmless,
unless you mix them
with crocodile DNA.
What idiot would do that?
I mean, everyone knows.
You know, uh, we should leave.
I have a family.
Let's go!
Look, Joe, I know we've
had our differences,
but we don't have much time.
In case we all die, I
just wanted to say--
No apology needed, kid.
Aha! You just admitted I'm a kid!
Nice try.
But no nuggies for you!
What? Just let me have them!
Rules are rules,
and you are no kid!
Rules, schmules! We're
about to die here!
What are you doing?
Get away while you can!
No, Joe's right.
Rules are rules.
And this all started
because of a stupid one.
But what if that stupid one
was a turning point?
A signal that it's
time for my taste buds
to step into adulthood?
James. I don't think you
know what you're saying.
It's time, Max.
I need to order off
of the adult menu.
Echo. Keep those
nuggets distracted.
What do you think I've
been doing the entire time?
Max, run play 399!
And Foodball Joe,
one foodball supreme, please.
Extra ball-y.
Come on, come on, come on. Agh!
I got this. Whoo!
Agh!
Ahh! Ahh-haah-ah!
Hey!
Over here! Over here!
Order up!
After all that, you miss? Ah!
Foodball Joe!
Hold on. Any second now.
Is that--?
A foodball supreme!
Jump!
RIP in pieces, Foodball Joe.
You were a real one.
How's my shop?
It's okay, right?
Mmm! You're right, James.
The dino nugget shape really
does make a difference.
These are great, but can you
stop bringing things to life
in your quest for perfect foods?
So what else have you
brought to life?
A toaster.
But James made him stop living.
I admit, Toasty was a mistake.
But look at this!
Plenty of nuggets to go around.
-Toasty?
-Yeah. Our son.
That's him! Emperor Toasty!
He led the uprising of appliances
that ruin food forever.
Hear that, James?
Our boy is an overachiever!
No!
You're the Dumas!
You're the reason the
food future sucks so much!
We don't know that.
I mean, sure, the flashbacks
were pretty clear,
but not so clear that I
can't read between the lines
and let myself off the hook!
Toasty is alive in the now.
And you need to fix what you
started before it's too late!
Pfft, that's ridiculous.
No way Toasty's still alive!
Oh, did I forget to mention
that Toasty toasts his maker?
Like in Pinocchio?
I'm sure it'll work itself out.
Why?!
This is like Pinocchio!