Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 7, Episode 7 - Are You with Me, Doctor Wu? - full transcript

Previously on "Nurse Jackie"...

We got that thing everybody wants.

A suitcase full of drugs?

No, silly. We got that love thing.

How long is this sentence of yours?

When do you get your license back?

Three months, and the
hospital could be gone by then.

If you want to fight the hospital
closing, you have my support.

What kind of support?

In response to the unjust condo deal,

nurses are walking out!



I'll see if I can get some temps.

Nobody make any plans for tonight.

I need all hands on deck.

Yeah, that's fine, but I
still need more hands now.

Male, 32, found at the
bottom of an elevator shaft.

Gloria, you want me to take over for you?

I'll do whatever you want.

(theme music playing)

(man vocalizing)

May I say, you two did something right.

Yes, she's a great kid.

- And a hard worker.
- All of the above.

I'm confident Grace will have a
choice of an array of colleges.

Go, Grace.



Uh, so what about financial aid?

Both URI and SUNY offer aid.

Did you ask about it
on your campus tours?

Well, we haven't quite
gotten to that yet, but soon.

(laughs)

Actually, we have.

- Toured... campuses.
- Ah.

We... yeah, Grace and, uh...

yeah.

Uh, can you... can you
excuse us for just a minute?

Of course.

Really, Kevin, campus tours?

What the fuck, Jackie?
She's gotta see colleges.

- Can you guys not?
- Well, when did all this happen?

Oh, I don't know. I think
you were in jail that week.

Jackie: Jesus Christ,
Kevin, please.

- Kevin: You asked.
- Grace: Not so loud.

You know, what I'm asking
for is to have a say

in the future of my daughter.

- Our daughter.
- Fine, our daughter.

So we discuss these things together.

Mom's right. You're not including her.

Look, this isn't the place...

Can't you see she's changed?

She made a mistake and she's
doing everything it takes.

She's mopping fucking floors.

She's totally staying away from drugs.

Give her a chance.

And this is from my number one critic.

Let's go back in.

Didn't hear a thing.

And you're gonna write a hell of an essay.

Not the most savvy career move,

punching a guy with your torch hand.

That asshole stole my corner.

It's a free country.

Nothing abnormal.

And since when is Lady Liberty a dude?

Is this tender?

No, I think I'm good.

You lost consciousness.

He dropped like a horse turd.

All right, all right. I'm gonna need you

to bite down on this.

Hmm.

Zoey, let's remove all this
paint so we can look for bruising.

How good is this? Our nurses are back.

Walkout... talk about ballsy.

And you gotta love the moral question.

Making a statement about the
importance of medical care

by abandoning patients.

Nobody was abandoned.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

No, I loved seeing you guys
stick it to those sardine-eaters.

Freedom of assembly is a basic right.

Thank you, Lady Liberty... guy.

I was looking for you 20 minutes ago.

- Where were you?
- Uh, with Grace's college advisor.

Zoey.

Diversion does not include flextime.

Please don't be late again.

- Guys, come on.
- Aw, crap.

Two cents?

During the walkout, Jackie
kicked ass on a patient

who would've gone fatal if
she hadn't been on my team.

In fact, I'd like to
write that up for her file.

That's very impressive, but
unfortunately it can't go into her file

because under diversion she's
not allowed to touch patients.

It didn't happen.

Mrs. Akalitus, a word?

And you come, too, Jackie.

We are going to do some couples counseling.

Doctor, I didn't know you were also
certified in couples counseling.

Oh, I'm not, but I've
had years of experience.

Granted, I was the one
being counseled, but still.

I have terrific relationships
with all my ex-wives.

- Or nearly all.
- That's lovely, but this is a personnel issue,

and I'm not comfortable with
you leveling my playing field.

All right, tell me what are you hearing?

More of the same. I can do no right.

You are here under a
strict set of protocols

- set up by the diversion committee...
- I pray for strict.

Okay, let me see if I can
unpack a few things here.

"Unpack." You did have counseling.

Stop me if I ever say "growthfulness."

(chuckles)

Jackie, even though you are a great nurse,

you've got to admit you have some baggage.

- Drug addiction.
- I'm just gonna let her answer everything.

Gloria...

I am trying to reconcile all this rigidity.

Where is the warm woman

I karaoked down Electric Avenue
with at the Christmas party?

Here's what I'm reconciling...

how to work with an addict
who I thought was my friend.

All right, I... I hear that.

Did someone close to
you turn into a junkie?

I'm sure she means that
in the nicest possible way.

Yeah, not so much a user. Uh, a dealer.

My best friend from med school.

Breaks my heart. He just got busted

for operating a pill mill in Newark.

It's hard when those
we trust disappoint us.

Jackie: What's a pill mill?

Eddie: Sweetie, you don't know
what a pill mill is? You?

Don't you think that if I
knew, I would've been using one?

It's a, uh,

like a bogus pain management clinic.

Dr. Feelgoods use them as a front

to buy and sell drugs.

Great. Let's find one.

I want to do one last
dump of our whole stash

and then I want to stop selling.

- Okay?
- Where's this coming from?

You want to know where
it's coming from? Grace.

Things are just starting
to get good with her

and I don't want to blow it.

You've still got a lawyer to pay.

Yeah, I know, I know, but I
can't deal with dealing anymore.

Okay, pick you up in an hour.

How you feeling? Any localized pain?

Not after all the Jagers
I had for breakfast.

(British accent) Ooh, naughty Liberty.

(normal voice) Um, we should release you

as soon as we get your CAT scan.

Thanks.

How would you feel if I asked you
to do some patient intake today?

Because I would feel great about it.

Wow, uh, unfortunately

I was coming to ask if I could go early.

Fi has a rhythm gymnastics tryout

and Kevin's stuck at the bar
with the health inspection.

Rhythm gymnastics?

Wow, Akalitus is on your ass
so you're gonna pull this shit?

- (stammers)
- Yeah, I'm gonna go deal with my kid.

(sighs)

(engine starts)

So that was our union's legal counsel.

Are they gonna defend us
in yesterday's arrests?

Yes, but that's not why she called.

The Norwegians got a judge
to issue an injunction

against any further demonstrations.

(alarm beeping)

Dr. Roman!

Reed, can you hear me?

Unresponsive. Pulse weak and rapid.

Shallow respiration.

Let's get him on 100% O².

Abdomen boardlike.

- Thor: BP's 87 over 58.
- Carrie: He's crashing.

He's in hypovolemic shock.

(voices overlapping)

(electric paddles buzz)

- (voices continue)
- Zoey: What did I miss? What did I miss?

Retroperitoneal hemorrhage.

CT shows kidney trauma.

He must've hit his back on
something after the punch,

like a curb or a bike rack.

Zoey: He said he'd been drinking.

He wasn't buzzed, he was
bleeding out internally.

Zoey, I'll take care of this.

(trash can clattering)

Hey.

I should've done more than a head-to-toe.

I should've rolled him over.

He had paint on his back.

You never would've seen the bruising.

I should've removed all the fucking paint.

Well, we all make mistakes.

Even me.

(crying) I am the head nurse.

And Jackie never would've let
something like that happen.

Well, Jackie wasn't there.

I know.

(can clatters)

Uh, listen, want to hang out?

I mean, outside of work?

We should do that. How
about after shift today?

Come on, we're friends, right?

Yeah, we're kind of friends.

Kinda, yeah.

(sighs) I have a paper due

for my nursing master's program.

- Well, I'll help you write it.
- No, don't do that.

I am more than your potential go-to.

I'm a doctor bursting with knowledge.

(laughs)

(can clatters)

What are you doing right now?

Preparing my in-service
on painless Foley removal.

Christ, your life is boring as shit.

Let's do something about that.

Lunch on me... now.

Let's go!

So you know in the movies,
this never works out so well.

One last big score, then
ride off into the sunset.

Well, what the hell else are we
gonna do with all those pills now?

Flush 'em?

Eh, it'd make the fish happy.

(both laughing)

- Shall we? No.
- We should.

Seduced and abandoned.

I took his last name,
but screw the bastard.

Wait, I did.

(laughs) Aw.

You know what you needed?
Couples counseling.

Not from you. How many
times were you been married?

Four, you already knew that.

I just wanted to make you say it.

Well, my last wife found me too easygoing.

Yeah, she'd start fights
to see if I had a pulse.

Yeah, yeah, she called me a coldhearted,

self-absorbed bastard.

I thought I was just being nice.

You know, Mr. Akalitus,

he looked like a goddamn fire hydrant.

Yeah, I believe we're
talking about my failures now.

- How self-absorbed.
- (laughs)

- There's that word again.
- No, no, no.

It's too much Verdicchio
on an empty stomach.

A little bit.

Doctor, the poulet roti.

Thank you.

Madam, may I bone your branzino?

Actually, I would prefer to bone it myself.

Oh, my.

Look at you.

She used to be a mohel.

Oh, man.

You don't by any chance
do tummy tucks, do you?

- Ah, bravo.
- (applause)

Some mighty damn fine bonin'.

This is a first.

I never met a dealer who
hands out questionnaires.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

It's just a little more
public than I had anticipated.

Oh, well, I wouldn't sweat it.

I doubt anybody here recognizes you.

I'm about to score a shitload of 80s.

I'll take 10.

Much less cares.

You know what? Why don't you put this on?

Make you feel better.

How do I look?

By the way, it's me, Jackie.

(laughs)

I notice a few gaps

in your patient background, Mr. Walters.

Yeah, sometimes I forget stuff.

Perfect. Do you have any medical records?

Perhaps an MRI?

- Nope.
- No worries.

You know all office visits
are $140. Cash, please.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

- There you go.
- Awesome.

Do you have a friendly
pharmacist or will you buy here?

Uh, actually, I'm not gonna buy today.

I understand you don't only dispense drugs,

you also, you know...

Oh, fuck it. You wanna
buy a bunch of pills?

(door opens)

Okay, uh, I gotta get out of here.

Jackie, give it a sec.

Mr. Walters, is it?

- That's right.
- I'm Dr. Wu.

I understand you solicited
to sell narcotics.

Is that so?

That's kind of a trick question, Doc.

Then let me be clear. I run
a legitimate medical practice.

I do not deal drugs. Do you understand?

Sure.

Now get out before I call the police.

Wait.

I'm sorry about the rant.

(whispers) I have security
cameras in the intake room.

I like to keep it on the record.

Abundance of caution.

So you do buy drugs?

Um, I'll be in the waiting room.

Okay.

- Is there a problem?
- No.

Not if you can use some Oxy, Vicodin,

and I've got about 500 Illyria.

Illyria? All the high
without plugging you up.

Let's talk, come on.

Hey, study buddy.

Did you just get mugged?

No, why?

Well, I just... hi.

Ta-da.

Your finished paper. What?

So fast?

When did you find the time?

I bought it from a term paper factory.

Oh.

I can't use this.

No, it's my treat. Besides, when
I hooked up with my old contact,

he also sold me some shrooms.

Ohhh-Kay.

Um...

Zoey, as a doctor and your kind of friend,

I'm gonna prescribe you two things...

your paper and this.

For you to calm the fuck down.

Which end do I light?

You just eat it.

(groaning)

Fuck me.

(groaning continues)

I'm going to my bike and get the bag.

- You good?
- Yeah.

Be quick.

(door opens, closes)

(groaning)

(applause)

Well done.

No, no, no, no more wine for me.

Oh, relax. While you were
off playing "Iron Chef,"

I called us both in off-duty.

This is a first for me, Bernie.

No, nothing wrong with a little fun, huh?

- You know, lightening up.
- Are we still on that?

I just don't understand
your cold war against Jackie.

Help me.

Let's just say I've
been through this before.

Been through as in drugs?

And alcohol.

- Not you.
- No.

- Oh, no.
- Somebody at All Saints.

Doc...

(whispers) Doc... Dr. Cooper?

No, it wasn't an employee.

It was my son.

Ah.

It started when he was in his teens.

(groans)

I went through hell trying to save him.

He'd be clean, then
relapse. Get clean, relapse.

The last time I saw him,
he told me he had changed.

- Then he stole my car.
- Oh.

I bought into that same
pattern with Jackie.

Done.

No more lost causes.

Well, that's...

that's a painful thing to deal with.

But I don't believe there's
such a thing as a lost cause.

I envy you.

All your life, all your
years practicing medicine,

you never see anything as hopeless?

No.

No.

Should we get that wrapped to go?

♪ Leaves ♪

♪ There should be leaves ♪

- ♪ Don't you think ♪
- ♪ There should be leaves ♪

- ♪ Be leaves ♪
- ♪ There should be leaves. ♪

When assessing

vital signs for shock...

There should be leaves.

It's crucial to...

(speaking gibberish)

(laughing)

(speaking gibberish)

(laughing) Oh, my God.

(speaking gibberish)

(both humming)

- You should write that down.
- Yeah.

Be right back.

(groaning continues)

Hey, sweetie, can you hear me?

Hi, honey, what's your name?

It's Katy.

Hi, Katy.

(groaning resumes)

Hi, um, you see this woman over here?

She's presenting signs of Oxy OD.

I think someone should
probably take a look at her.

- You do?
- Yes, I...

(scoffs)

Um, I'm a nurse.

Nurse: Hey, you can't go in there!

You have an Oxy OD out there
and nobody's doing anything.

- I have a nurse.
- Who doesn't give a shit.

She's sleepy, uh, pinpoint
pupils, slurred speech,

low pulse... are you listening to me?

- Also a nurse.
- And you're a doctor, supposedly.

- I'll see what I can do.
- All right, no. There's no deal.

- Jesus, Jackie.
- What the hell is going on here?

"See what I can do"? Call FDNY.

She's got to get to an ER right now.

I can't call the paramedics here.

You know what? I'm gonna call 911.

- No, no, no.
- Trust me, she means it.

Herman, will you call the
private ambulance on 4th Street?

Tell them to come through
the back, no siren.

Be pissed all you want.

Just get the hell out of here!

(sighs)

Your wife's crazy, man.

(laughing)

I wish I could be like you.

Uh, yeah. (laughs)

- You are so self-assured.
- I mean...

Coop goes and you motor on.

I miss my Coopie. I, like, really miss him.

Jackie was my rock.

And now I am on a rock.

And this rock is made of worms.

(groans, screams)

Sasquatch.

Oh, Thor.

Carrie: I texted him.

So he'd get us.

Hey, Thor.

Thank you for, like,
not even being Sasquatch.

Akalitus didn't come back from lunch.

You two are sitting on a rock.

What the fuck is wrong with everyone?

Don't worry, Thor.

I'm just doing a real
quick swim over to you.

Mm-hmm, swim back to work.

(gasps)

Better yet, swim home. Arfarf!

Oh, you're something else.

Yeah, it's a whole wide
range of options there.

Yes, a vast array,

and all of them good.

You know you almost blew
that deal back there.

Listen, Eddie, what am I gonna do?

We go score some cash, I wake up in
the morning, I can't live with myself.

Well, kissing away 22 grand
is a pretty bold choice.

What did you just say?

- What?
- 22 grand?

- That's right, lady.
- Are you kidding me?

You just paid all your lawyer bills.

- Done.
- Oh, my God.

- Eddie, that's great.
- Yeah.

Did you hear Dr. Wu? He
yelled, "That wife of yours."

- Did you catch that?
- Yes, I did, sucka!

What if it was true?

Are you high?

On you.

(sighs)

You really want to get married, don't you?

All the time. You know that.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

What?

You are always there for
me when nobody else is.

What are you...

don't... don't mess with me.

Eddie, I'm not messing
with you. I'm serious.

'Cause you know I couldn't handle that.

What, you want me to get down on one knee?

No.

I mean, yes. My answer's yes,

if that's what you're asking me.

I'll marry you, Jackie.

Let's get married.

Okay.

All right.

- I got to sit down.
- (laughing)

Are you serious?

- Are you serious?
- Yes, I'm serious.

(kisses)

(laughing)