Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 7, Episode 11 - Vigilante Jones - full transcript

Previously
on "Nurse Jackie"...

Would you like to go
to the ballet with me tonight?

Dr. Prince,
are you okay?

Oh, head rush.

There seems to be
a sizeable difference

between the number of
physician signatures you've acquired

and the number of samples
you've requested.

That's impossible.

I just want to get
my nursing license back.

Yeah, well, then you've got to
be prepared to do anything to get it.

We're here to rule
on the reinstatement



of Jacqueline Peyton's
nursing license.

I have serious questions
about Jackie's future sobriety.

Mrs. Akalitus's son
Michael is an addict.

A young man with a string
of arrests across the country.

A son who... I don't know
if you know this...

is currently wanted on suspicion
of grand larceny.

I think what my lawyer's
trying to say

is that my supervisor
cannot separate her personal life

from my diversion program.

I have been nothing
but fair with you.

It is time for me to get back
on the fucking floor.

Our decision is final.
We are adjourned.

So, back in blues.
How does it feel?

It feels great.



I feel like myself again.

I'm thinking now that
you're back in the mix,

I swing by
the hospital later,

get a few doctors' signatures
for some samples,

pad my numbers,
and take you out to lunch.

Eddie, honey,
it's my first day back.

After everything
that's gone on,

can we not bring the mess
back into All Saints?

At least not today?

Sure, no problem.
I'll take my mess someplace else.

Thank you.

You want a coffee?

- Yeah.
- Me, too.

- What time is it?
- Showtime!

- What time is it?
- Showtime!

- What time is it?
- Showtime!

♪ 1990, Chubb Rock
jumps upon the scene... ♪

Whoa! Holy shit.

♪ But "RoboCop"
last year was a shock ♪

♪ The tone of the Popeye cut
shook your butt ♪

♪ Kids are screaming,
the media says ♪

♪ "What kind of music is this
for you to dance to?" ♪

♪ The man with the plan
and the man demands you ♪

♪ No time for sleep,
jump in your Jeep ♪

♪ And pump up the funky beat
a whole week ♪

♪ Beeper goes off, yo,
smash it then trash it ♪

♪ You're too young
to be plumped in a casket... ♪

There ya go.

♪ ...and bring the noise in,
just swing it ♪

♪ And party people,
sing it ♪

♪ Treat me right,
I'll treat you good ♪

♪ Treat me right,
I'll treat you good ♪

♪ Treat me right. ♪

I'm sitting in your chair.
I can move.

Oh, no,
that's not my chair.

I am fine over here.

How's it feel being back?

Good.

Better than I remember.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Zoey.
I'm very, very sick with the flu

and I will not be coming in
for the rest of the week.

Okay, feel better.

Who was that?

Akalitus.

She just called in sick
for the rest of the week.

The whole week?

What's wrong with her?

She has the flu.

I mean, she sounded
really healthy.

You are the flu.

I had no idea my lawyer
would take it that far.

I know, but he did.

All right, I'm...
yeah, I'm gonna call her.

I will.

I'm just so happy
to be back at work.

I love working with you.

I mean, it's complicated and
I feel terrible about so many things,

I'm not sure I liked anything
that happened yesterday,

but I love
working with you.

Now, see, both of you
on the job in the blues.

Oh, that's my kind of day.

Sometimes he's a little
too upbeat, even for me.

Ah, is he really that happy?
What's he selling?

Take it easy
on him, Zoey.

The guy loves life.
Nothing wrong with that.

Hey, I need 650 milligrams
of Tylenol for bay three.

You got it. Coming up.

- You okay?
- Yeah, fine.

Just trying to think of the name
of that headache medication.

You know,
starts with an "F."

Fuck.

That's not it.
Fioricet?

Ah, yes, bingo.

Yes,
10 milligrams, please.

Okay.

Are you in pain?

It's for a patient,
Jackie.

Of course.
Let me know if you need me.

If you need to get out of here,
if you want to get some more rest...

Yeah, as long as
I can do my job,

I'd rather be here
than getting rest.

So how does it feel
to be back in the trenches?

It feels so good
to touch everything again.

Yeah, now you know what a four-year-old
goes through at a museum.

The most exquisite
torture.

Hello, my name is Jackie.
I'll be your nurse.

Can you tell me what
brings you here today?

Okay.

Okay, you know,
we will figure this out.

Here you go.
Mm-hmm.

Welcome to Translation
Assistance Services.

Uh, yes, I have a patient
of Indian or Middle Eastern descent.

Can I have
a translator, please?

Hold on one moment.

Okay, go ahead.

Uh, hello, my name is Jackie.
I'll be your nurse.

What brings you
to the hospital today?

- What'd she say?
- Honestly, I have no fucking idea.

You... you're kidding.

It must be Indo-Iranian,
some kind of dialect.

- Ah, God damn it.
- She stumped the translator phone?

Okay, okay.

Um, go to the Indian
restaurant up the street,

the guys who
helped us out last time?

Yeah, and last time I bought
50 samosas as a thank-you.

- Do you have any cash?
- Yes, in my purse.

Okay, okay.

Um, are you in any pain?

Can you show me where?

Uh, okay.

Thor, have you seen
a suitcase out here anywhere?

I have a patient
in the back who...

This is not a suitcase.

This belongs
in the Smithsonian.

Oh, yes.

Oh, sure, I always
travel with piles of paper.

These are medical records.

It's incredible.

10 years
of medical records.

Chronic liver disease.

She flew in from Delhi today.
She must've come here straight from JFK.

Jesus, from the airport
to the ER?

You're welcome.

Yeah, it happens a lot.

People get sick, they can't
get the treatment they need

in their countries,
so they save up.

Well, it's ascites,

excess fluid in the abdomen.

That's what's causing
shortness of breath.

Call OR.
They'll need to drain her stomach

and analyze the fluid
for infection...

cancer.

Well, there is a 12-hour wait
for the OR today.

Motherfuckers.

All right, let's, um...

let's just keep her
in here...

so she doesn't
get overwhelmed.

Okay.

Uh, you need to watch
where you are going.

Oh, yes, these peonies
are very delicate.

No, I was talking about
not running into other human people.

But I can see how keeping flowers safe
is a priority for you.

Your friend
will like these, no?

Who?

Carrie.

We are having...

how do you say?

A... a fling.

That is not how we say.

A sexual affair.

She is not having
any affair,

sexual, with you.

I'm sorry, I thought
that you knew.

Uh, "Sex in the City."

You girls talk
with one another

about the sex.

You have brunch, no?

You've reached
the voicemail of Gloria Akalitus.

This better be important.

Hi, Gloria,
Um... it's Jackie.

I heard
that you were sick.

I'm calling
to check on you, see...

See if there's anything
I can say to make you...

make your flu go away.

I would love to talk to you
in person or on the phone,

if that's...
this is a terrible message.

I'm sorry.
Uh, okay, I got to go.

That guy just tried
to climb up our building.

Oh, Jesus.
Okay.

Sir?

Sir?
Uh, sir?

Excuse me?

Well,
low blood pressure,

which is unusual
for a superhero.

- What's your name?
- Vigilante Jones.

Okay, and for your chart?

No, that's my real name.

I legally changed it about
five years ago from Alan Newton.

You know, one identity's
a lot easier,

you know, for tax purposes.
That sort of thing.

Sure. Are those
giving you trouble?

No, I got these from my great aunt
after she passed away.

They're amazing.
I can hear everything.

- Give 'em a try.
- No, no. No, no, no.

Okay, Vigilante,

your lower legs and knees
are in danger,

so if you continue
to climb up tall buildings

or whatever it is you do,

you're gonna blow out
your kneecaps.

You know, that's why
I created this intricate padding system.

- Okay.
- See?

Hmm. Do you want
to take off the fanny pack?

It's not a fanny pack.
No, it's a utility belt.

No, I won't
be taking it off.

Let's give him
a cortisone shot.

One cc, it'll help
with the pain in his legs

until we transfer
his crazy to Ortho downtown.

Uh, okay,
I don't feel pain.

I do understand you have a job to do,
but so do I.

There's a lot of people out there
in the city that need protecting.

Yes.

We need you.

We all need you.

Okay,
you will need to rest

because you can't help
anybody if you can't walk.

If I need to jump out of
a speeding car to help somebody, I will.

I got a bunch of samosas and a guy
who speaks three different Hindi dialects.

Great, hi.

Can you take over here?

With pleasure.

I'm Zoey.

Vigilante.

You're a good guy?

Come on, look at me.

I've saved four bikes
from being stolen yesterday

and I thwarted a mugging.

Uh, this might
hurt a little.

See, I like a good guy.

That's where Dr. Roman
and I are different.

What are you
talking about?

Karlsen.

I mean, Coop,
I understood.

He's got issues,
but he's a good guy.

There are still
good guys in New York

and you have sex with
the asshole who closed our hospital.

- Who told you that?
- Uh, he did because he's evil.

Why are you with him?

Do you need help?

Because you know
where evil lurks,

- danger follows.
- Oh, no. No, I got this.

- Thank you for helping us out, by the way.
- Sure.

Okay, uh, you've
got to go outside.

What are you doing? You can't
start a procedure like this by yourself.

I gave her a local.

I've done this a million times,
Jackie, it's fine.

Listen, I know it's frustrating
to wait for the OR, but you can't...

This woman has been
in pain for years.

Why would I wait 12 hours
when I could help her right now?

Fuck the OR.

God damn it.

Oh, God damn it,
God damn it.

- Bernie? Bernie?
- Doctor?

Damn it, my vision
is all fucked up.

- My head is...
- Yes, can you get a surgeon down here now?

- Paracentesis in exam room.
- God damn it!

God damn it, my head is just exploding.
My head is exploding.

It's okay, it's okay.

Dr. Prince, you need
to step away from my patient.

I-I-I-I can't.

I know. Step away
from my patient now, please.

Doctor?

It's okay.
You're okay.

I've never done this
fucking procedure before.

Can you talk me
through this, please?

I just...

insert the needle,
angle it up.

When you feel a little pop,
you've entered the peritoneum.

Okay, why did...
why did she just jump?

- Why did she just jump?
- That's normal.

That's normal.

Slide the catheter
over the needle.

Okay, now what?
Now what? Now what?

Remove the needle.

Connect the bag.

If the bag starts
to fill up with blood,

you've made a big mistake.

Oh, thank fucking God.

What the hell happened?
We had this scheduled for tonight.

Dr. Prince started
to get a migraine.

He had to step away
as soon as he finished the procedure.

This isn't a fucking
sterile environment, Bernie.

- You don't do a drain down here.
- Yeah.

Her blood pressure
was plummeting.

He did what he had to do.

All right, nice job.

Carrie.

No.
No flowers.

Ah, very liberated.

Did you tell Zoey
about our thing?

Uh, secret affair?

Secret aff... let me
explain something to you.

Uh, it's not a secret if you just
go around telling people, okay?

You have a wife
and I work here.

Carrie,
I don't worry...

about people.

I saw something,
I wanted something,

and I got it,
and now it is over.

That is why
I got you these flowers.

A beautiful reminder.

Oh, yeah?

Is that how
it's done in Norway?

This is how it's done
in New York City.

Tit for tat,
dicksmack.

Dr. Prince?

Yes, great work
in there today, Jackie.

Yeah, can you stop for a second?
I just want to...

Um, I think you are
a wonderful doctor.

Ah.

Probably the best chief
of the ER we've ever had.

But, um, I think
the smart thing to do right now

is to remove yourself
from the floor.

I think it's time,
Bernie.

You're a nurse.

You don't have the fucking authority
to say this to me.

Okay, can... can you
keep your voice down?

I would be careful about
how you are addressing this.

This is only your first day
back on the floor.

That patient
could've died.

She didn't die, Jackie.
She didn't die.

Oh, ahem,
excuse me, ma'am.

- Is this guy bugging you?
- No, no, he's not.

I'm fine, thank you.

You need to get
off your feet, please.

All right.

Bernie,
please let me help you.

- I am in charge here, not you.
- Yes.

Hey, can I get you to
sign off on a few of your...

Can't somebody else
do that?

No, they are your patients
and they would like to go home.

Who wants to go home?

I cannot drive anyone
anywhere today. Yeah?

Dr. Prince, I want you to sign this
and discharge patients.

- Are you questioning my authority?
- I don't...

Are you questioning
my ability to do my j...

what?!

I don't understand
why you're yelling at me.

Understand this.
You're fired.

Uh, I'm pretty sure
you can't fire me!

What the hell was that?
Who the fuck was that?

Oh, Zoey,
he's... he's sick.

What do you mean
he's sick?

I mean, we have to remove him
from the floor as soon as possible.

Well, that'd be great,
but I don't have that kind of authority.

The only person
who can do that is Akalitus

and she's not here.

I know,
do you have her address?

Birthdays, addresses.
You know I have it all.

Okay, give me an hour,
keep Prince on paperwork,

throw Carrie
on anything serious, okay?

Also, you should
bring her something.

I...

Eddie, what the fuck
are you doing here?

I'm having a fucked-up one.
I need you.

Oh, sweetie, not right now.
I've got a situation.

Dr. Prince
has lost his mind.

- I've got to go deal with this, okay?
- Yeah.

Sweetie,
I'm at work, baby.

I know, I know,
you know what?

I'm just having
some shit myself.

Okay, we can talk
about it tonight.

We'll talk
about it later, okay?

Jackie wants me to divert
all of Dr. Prince's patients to you

and anything emergent
that's incoming.

You know, she must really
believe in me as a person...

and as a doctor.

I think she
had no other choice.

Can you hold on
just one sec?

I'm on a very
important call.

Okay, go ahead.

I'm sorry to tell you this,
but your husband

is sleeping with a
beautiful American doctor.

- Thank you.
- What are you doing?

Zoey, I don't just want
you to kind of like me,

I am a good person and I really
care about this hospital

and I really care about
what you think of me.

So you're calling his wife?

I'm calling his wife!

He told you,
I tell his wife.

Tit for tat.

Not really
tit for tat, but...

Hallo?

Hi, Mrs. Karlsen.

What? I have a
really good ear for languages.

I brought you soup.

I'm not sick.

Well, it's not soup.
It's actually a bunch of Diet Cokes,

but I didn't want
to come empty-handed.

Okay, uh, Gloria, I know
you don't want to see me,

but I am here
to talk about Bernie.

He's got stage four
glioblastoma

and up until now
he's been asymptomatic,

but today he was showing
acute signs of fatigue,

headache, mood swings,
disorientation.

Jesus, stage four?

- That poor man.
- Yeah.

I should have told you
as soon as I found out, but...

Anyway, I don't want
him to hurt anyone,

so would you, uh,
take him off the floor, please?

All right, I'll call HR and security
will come down and escort him out

and I'll make sure that they
handle things very gently with him.

Great.

Okay, we're... no, hold on
one second, Gloria, wait.

You're seriously
gonna stay home all week?

I'm taking some time off.
It doesn't have anything to do with you.

Oh, come on, Gloria.

Look, I don't know
how to

begin to apologize
for what I did.

Then don't.

I never meant for it
to get ugly and personal.

That's... I didn't
want to hurt you.

I did and I'm sorry,
but that's not what I wanted to do.

Oh, my God,
is that your son?

- Is that Michael?
- Yes, it is.

If you hadn't gotten
ugly and personal,

I would've never found out
his last known address.

Now... he's here.

So, thank you.

And fuck you.

- You called my wife?
- Oh, shh, why would I call your wife?

Because you are angry
that I dumped you on the ground.

Oh, you didn't dump me.

If I fly back tomorrow and find Annete

waiting with the papers,
you'll be sorry.

- Are you threatening me?
- I am, I am threatening you.

Okay, I do want to say this
in the nicest way,

but get the fuck
out of my face.

You heard the lady!

Come on, kids,

cloth bands are not gonna
be able to hold me.

Sorry.

Okay, wow, those are
really strong cloth bands.

I'm sorry, Thor
has to restrain you.

Thor? Thor!

Hey, hi,
it's great to meet you at long last.

Different Thor.

Thank you for helping me.

Yeah, it's why I got
into this line of work.

Your transfer
should be here soon.

After the pepper spray, they're probably
gonna put a psychiatric hold on you.

Yeah, it's not my first.

Let's let Vigilante
rest now.

Take it easy,
Vigilante.

HR is on its way.

Okay, and Dr. Prince
has been in his office the whole time.

God, he's probably
really scared.

Is he dying?

Oh, fuck, really?

I don't know how
this is gonna go.

If he gets agitated,
they may need to escort him out.

Use the back entrance,
not through the ER.

No one will see it happen.

Okay.

Oh, thank you.

- What are you doing here?
- Hey.

I'm just talking
to Bernie about Illyria.

He's gonna sign
for some samples.

Aren't you, my friend?

Dr. Prince, can you look at me?
Are you okay?

I'm... I'm not okay.

I'm... I'm about as not okay
as I've ever been.

Can you... could you leave
my office now, please?

- Yes.
- Please.

Um, sure.

- Please?
- Yeah, all right.

We just need
a place to talk.

What the fuck was that?

He's a doctor.
I need doctors' signatures.

You are taking advantage
of a sick man.

First of all,
I didn't know he was that sick.

Second of all,
I'm sure you've done worse.

You've got to get out
of my hospital.

- Your hospital?
- Yes.

I'm fighting for our future
here, Jackie, all right?

I'm trying to fix this shit
so we can move forward.

Don't you understand
you are fucking everything up?

It is my first day back!

You know what it took
to get back here!

Right, and you did that all on your own?
That was all you?

No, Eddie, that's not
what I'm saying.

- It is! It is!
- It was not all me.

See, but you got
what you need.

I'm gonna
be deposed in a week,

but you do what you have to do
because you're fucking selfish...

- Oh!
- ...and you're willing to run over

everyone you love

- to get what you want.
- Really?

If I'm so fucking awful,
then what the hell are you doing with me?

- Right, time to cut me loose.
- Right.

I love your timing.
Right at the end of the fucking rainbow.

What are you talking about?
I'm not doing anything.

You know something, honey?

This is not gonna end well
for me or for you.

What the fuck
does that mean?

Eddie?

What does that mean, Eddie?

- I got it!
- I got it!

Pull the pin at the top
and then aim it at the base of the fire.

I did it.

Guys, where is Vigilante?

Fuck.

Vigilante,
what are you doing?

You should
be off your feet.

I'm not crazy.

I... I can't
be tied down.

I'm not going back
to another hospital.

I've got things to do.

I've got a job.

Okay, but first
you got to rest.

No, there are people
out there that need me.

I... no, hold on... I understand that.
Wait, I need you.

I need you, okay?

You don't need me.

You're gonna be fine.

Holy shit, wait!

He flew!

He just fucking flew.