Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 1, Episode 9 - Nose Bleed - full transcript

Previously on Nurse Jackie:

Shut up. It's my kid.

You have a kid?
Sweetie, I'm right here.

Can you come get
me? I don't know what

she's afraid of, what
she's anxious about.

Do you want me to
be a doctor or a friend?

Will you be my friend?

How's your kid?

I should have told you. Sorry.

I think you're a saint.

Just so you know.



They're replacing
me with a Pyxis.

They're gonna replace
you with a fucking, bullshit,

robot-pill machine?

Dr. Cooper, this is
my other one, Melissa.

Do you think your sister
would go out with me tonight?

No way?

Whose baby is this?

Look, look, you guys.

We see you, monkey.

Mom, Mom.

Look how high I am.

I am so high.

Yes, you are, sweetie.

It's a good thing you
have two, huh, Fi?



I got a bad balloon.

No, honey, it was
just an accident.

No, it's not fair!

It's okay, baby. We'll
get you another one.

No, I want the same one back.

Honey, do you want Daddy

to get you another one or not?

No.

At least Gracie's
holding it together.

It's okay, Fiona.

You can have one of my balloons.

No.

Look how great Gracie's doing.

You just never know, do you?

Okay.

There. See that?

Now we both have one.

It's good, huh?

It's very good.

Fiona, honey, no bubbles.

Okay, you guys, let's finish up.

We gotta get Mommy
to work on time.

Honey, really.

I'm not going to drink
that. There's spit in it.

And bacteria from the straw.

Now it's even more contaminated.

Thank you.

Well, I bet that
candy over there

is probably pretty toxic too.

No, it's protected by the glass.

Mm-hm.

Wow, that's a dollar, you guys.

Go.

I'll give you a dollar if
you don't go to work today.

Honey.

Come on, Gracie,
that's your money.

No, baby, I gave
that to you. It's yours.

I don't want you to go.

I know, I know, but it's fine.
Daddy's gonna take you home.

I'm not going. KEVIN: Gracie.

All right. You can
stay with Daddy.

Hey, baby.

Come on. What do you want?

I want the hospital
to burn down.

Okay. Excuse me.

Uh, hold on.

I'm practically rich.

Yes, you are.

Uh, I'm not gonna go in.

Oh, no, come on,
baby. You've got to.

The world's not gonna cave
in every time she falls apart.

We... We talked about this.

I know, but I think I
need to be with her.

I'm with her, okay?

We can't keep changing
the rules every time.

Jackie, let me take
care of her, okay?

You gotta trust me.

Really. It's okay. I got it.

Okay.

Mwah.

How you doing, Mr. Everett?

Oh.

Shit.

Mr. Everett?

Mr. Everett?

Can you hear me?

Do you know where you are?

Mr. Everett, you're
here at the hospital.

Don't worry. Well
take care of you.

Oh! Oh, God. What?

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Can I have a stretcher, please?

Gertrude. I'll say 65.

Older. Eighty-five.

Eighty-eight. You win.

Okay. Darlene.

Darlene. Honey,
her mother hated her.

I would say 30.

Unmarried, worked in
human resources or retail.

No, no, Darlene's a
total '60s girl-group name,

so I'm going with, uh, 47.

Final answer.
Forty-seven. Nailed it.

Quentin.

Could be a wrinkled,
old, apple farmer.

Or a young, untalented,
artsy-fartsy type. Ninety.

Oh, he was 10.

Nice game.

Jackie.

Oh, my God, you're
working today.

Oh, my God, I am.

Gus Everett, 52. Exam Room 1.

Diabetic, frequent flyer.

He times his blood sugar so
he passes out on our front steps.

Undomiciled, alcoholic.

I'm gonna go change,
get a finger stick.

We'll take it from there.

Seriously. Right?

Oh, my.

Gus is ripe today.

Those are the same
socks I gave him last time.

Now they're all
scabbed into his feet.

What does it say?

Mr. Everett? Hi,
it's me, Jackie.

It looks like your
blood sugar crashed.

Okay, we need to get you up
and running. Do you understand?

You mind if we rub
your head for a minute?

Zoey, come here.

You wanna run your
fingers along his scalp.

No, I don't. Yeah, you do.

You're gonna wanna feel around
for some bumps or lacerations.

Zoey, why are you
rubbing his head?

Because you told me
to. No. I am teaching you

how to rule out a stroke, not
how to give the man a massage.

Okay, you check his blood sugar,

check for a blow to the head.

You get a doctor
to order a scan.

Got it. What about his foot?

Ah, the aroma of
gangrene in the morning.

So, children, who
have we got here?

Mr. Everett.

Ah, yes. It's all
coming back to me.

Ischemic.

Vascular insufficiency. Yeah.

He won't be able
to keep this foot.

Mr. Everett, we're
gonna take you up to CT

to get a look at your head.

Then when you've
come round a bit more,

we're gonna have to talk
about that foot of yours.

All Saints is a hospital.

We're not a shelter.

Your hair is fantastic today.

You're better than
that, Mohammed.

He's losing his foot.

Big attitude coming from
someone wearing panda earrings.

♪ I love my man ♪

♪ I'm a liar if I say I don't ♪

♪ I love my man ♪

♪ I'm a liar if I say I don't ♪

♪ But I'll quit my man ♪

♪ I'm a liar if I say I won't ♪

♪ I've been your slave, baby ♪

♪ Ever since I've
been Your babe ♪

♪ I've been your slave ♪

♪ Ever since I've been your...

I can't believe you did
this. Oh, it's nothing.

It's just a little lunch. I'm
not breaking any rule, am I?

No. Wow, this
is... It's just so nice.

Ah, nurses. Life
of an on-call doctor.

I was awake once
for 53 hours on call.

Hospital record.

Wow.

You had any surgeries?
I had a hammertoe once.

A podiatrist corrected it.

Hm. Not an MD. Mm-mm.

Hey, Jackie.

Come here. I want
you to meet someone.

Oh, hi. It's Melissa, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

You know each other?

Yeah, we treated her mother.

How's she doing? Good.

I don't know what
would have happened

if Fitch hadn't found
the mass. So grateful.

Well, you know,
it's tricky sometimes.

A mass in the, uh... The...

The bowel. The bowel.

It's tricky. Hey, look,

Melissa brought me
lunch. Oh, my goodness.

That's enough for
an army in there.

Attending to Trauma 1.

Attending to Trauma 1.

That's you.

So terrible. I do
not remember her.

She's just a nurse.

Hey, will you stick around?

I mean, you gotta
share this with me.

I would love to.

Pupils are fixed
and unresponsive.

Intubated 8.0 ET tube.

Maintaining BP.
Doesn't look too good.

'82 Volvo, no air bags.

The guy's brain dead. - Got it.

Oh, boy, he smells like weed.

I hope he was toasted
when this happened.

One, two, three.

Maintain oxygen
and blood pressure,

pending organ
donation. He's a donor?

Ivy League pothead
with PETA stickers

and a Free Tibet
T-shirt. You tell me.

Trustafarian.

Trying to save the
world a bong hit at a time.

Sounds like a donor to me.
Where the fuck is Dr. Cooper?

Is there an ID?

Pocket. Student ID, no license.

I'm gonna call
Regional Transplant

and get a harvest team in place.

We gotta notify the family.

Well, yes, but in the meantime,
let's do what he wants.

See you. Let's see.

Cousteau Society.

Free Tibet. This guy's a donor.

Oh, boy.

Yep, I got it. He's a donor.

Mohammed, come with me.

You're gay.

Yes.

I'm not. I never said you were.

You have gay friends? I do.

Some of whom have
children, I assume.

My friends Kevin and Kevin
adopted, but that's about it.

Did they go through
an adoption agency?

A lawyer, I think.
Was it expensive?

I don't know. I can ask.

I would appreciate that.

Okay, we're done here.

Close the door on your way out.

Did you hear that?

Have you seen Dr. Cooper? No.

If you see him, can you tell
him we have a potential donor?

Excuse me, nurse.

I have been waiting
with my kids forever.

I filled out this
paperwork an hour ago.

Ooh, 83rd and
what, Park, Madison?

Why?

Well, number one, why
aren't you at Lenox Hill?

Number two, lice is
not an emergency.

Their scalps are bleeding.

You can take care
of this at home.

Or call your pediatrician.
Or you could take care of it.

Listen, my pediatrician
is a family friend,

so if you don't mind.

Truthfully, I do mind.

Do you guys share your
helmets with other kids at school?

Yeah. All right, follow me.

Ivy League pothead's family's
between flights at Heathrow.

They oppose donation.

Well, guy's an adult.
They have no say.

Where the fuck is Coop?

Nurse, can we move
it along, please?

Careful, lady.

You floor me. You really do.

This is precisely why I
bought you your own helmets.

Why on earth would you let
other people wear them? Really.

I think it's nice you share.

Okay. You're gonna have
to do this again tomorrow.

Can't we get it done now?
I don't wanna touch them.

This has gotta stay
on for 10 minutes.

I will be right back.

Yes, where is your
drugstore located?

Okay. Great.

Can I get a box of Quell or RID?

It doesn't matter, actually.

Whichever one has the
word "lice" in bigger letters.

Great. Yes. Can I have
half a dozen boxes sent to...

Kelly Oliver at 17
1/2 East 83rd Street?

Yes. No, you could just
leave it with the doorman.

And no bag, okay?

I just wanna make
sure she doesn't miss it.

Great news.

We found the parents.

What? Where?

They've stepped forward
to resume custody.

I'm not handing over
this child to just anyone.

It's the parents. I
understand that.

We've been to the apartment.
Everything checks out.

They were just a
little overwhelmed.

They're young. No excuse.

Barack Obama's mother was 18.

His name's Dalton.

Dalton?

Ugh.

I want a word with
them in my office.

They're installing
the Pyxis tomorrow.

Yeah. I don't
wanna talk about it.

Okay.

The reason parallel
universes are possible

is because everything's
made out of atoms.

Naturally.

Inside atoms,
there are electrons.

Of course.

You're making fun,

but this is where your
brain explodes, okay?

An electron can be here
and it can also be here.

Same electron, different
places, same time.

I'm sorry. My brain
didn't explode.

Look, Jack.

If an electron can
be in two places,

then atoms can be in two places.

And since everything's
made out of atoms

everything can be in two places.

So the real question is,

what are you and
I doing over there?

So we could be
having a whole thing

in some parallel universe?

That's right.

Except we're not
keeping it secret.

Hm. Okay.

My brain just
popped a little bit.

So when I said our days
are numbered on the cot,

well, all I was
saying was... Eddie.

All I was saying is

that maybe we could be
more of a thing, that's all.

I can meet your kid.

We don't have to
keep hiding all the time.

It'd be nice for a change, huh?

Yeah, it would.

Jackie, Mr. Everett's in the OR,

and I feel like if we had done
more than give him clean clothes

and a meal tray the last time,

maybe he would
still have his foot.

He wouldn't.

Yeah, but it was just
a gross little blister

when he came in
before and now its like:

Um... Well, now it's gone.

But before they cut it off,

it was, you know, dead.

I just feel terrible.

Well, the last time he was here,

I told you to have a
doctor take a look at it.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I did.

Mm... The thing is,
you didn't. You said:

Uh...

"Homeless equals undomiciled.
Greet them and street them."

Zoey,

I remember everything
I have ever said.

You forgot to write it down.
Is there anything else?

Regional Transplant's
waiting for Dr. Cooper

to certify the donor.

Is he still in Trauma?

Yep. Yes.

Have you seen Dr. Cooper?

Um...

Zoey?

Exam Room 3. The door is locked.

That is why I
don't date doctors.

Can you just give me...?

Oh, that's nice.

That's nice. We
got a guy in Trauma

waiting on certification
of brain death.

He wants nothing
more in the world

than to help his fellow man.

Apparently this is not
something that you can relate to.

All fucking day, Coop.
No one told me, okay?

I mean... Look, I'll be
there in a second, just...

Does the family know?

You know what?

Oh, my God, Coop.

Just fucking forget
it. You're useless.

Now I remember her.

Dr. Cooper
certified brain death.

When? Uh, I don't know.

Before you guys got here.

Water in ear,
needle in the heel.

I was here. Nothing.

But do you have a time?

Uh, no, that I do not know.

I'm sure Dr. Cooper
wrote it down. We good?

Yeah. Great. He's all yours.

Anyway, it's probably
just a nosebleed.

Good Lord, what are
you sticking up here?

It's in a really
bad state, Jacks.

It's completely raw.

All right, I'll get Kevin
to get a humidifier.

I got a ton of work to do.

I told Kevin I'd be home

as soon as my shift was over.

Oh, family at home,
boyfriend at work,

making it back in time
to be with husband.

That's pretty impressive.

Thank you, but we will
save this conversation

for our next lunch date.

I'm just saying, I don't know
how you do it. I really don't.

My sister, living in Paris,

married, having an affair,

crippled with guilt.

You've been very
helpful. Helpful?

Well, you're a brilliant example

for others who think it
can be done successfully.

Do you talk to your
sister about me?

I don't mention you
by name, Jackie.

Only that I have a colleague
who's managing to pull it off

and that you're having fun.

Fun? This is not fun.
This is fucking hard.

And I was under
the impression that

what I say to you
stays with you.

Yeah, first of all, it does,

and, by the way, did I mention
that it's my sister in Paris?

That's not the point. There
is no judgment attached

to the word "fun." I made
a simple observation,

which I relayed to my
sister, who needed a boost.

And believe me when I
tell you I was not gossiping.

I mean, God, I think
of you as a sister.

Think again.

Come in.

Thank you, officer. You
can leave us alone now.

No, I'm not going nowhere.

I'm this idiot's father.

So, Joseph and Lisa.

You came back for your baby.

We're sorry. We made a mistake.

It... It was just
for the weekend.

We hadn't gone anywhere
fun in, like, months.

It's true. A year.

So you left your
baby in a safe haven

to have fun?

To go to Atlantic City.
Can you believe it?

They don't tell me.

They don't ask me to babysit.

You're not good with kids.

It was her idea. No, I
said it was an option.

Well, I hope you had your fun,

because I have some bad news.

Your baby is gone.

Gone? Gone where?

Your baby is dead.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Okay, he's not dead.

You don't get a second chance.

No.

Not until you sign this,
releasing All Saints Hospital,

its employees and
subsidiaries from any liability.

Shh. Okay.

Don't be stupid with him.

Being a parent is a privilege.

Abuse that privilege
and I'll throw you in jail.

I'll drive them there myself.

I got him.

Thank you.

Get out.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hi, sweetie. How are you?

Listen, I had this idea.

I was thinking, what if...?

What if me and you were
to do something together?

You know, just us guys?

Like, uh, I don't
know, I don't know,

a cooking class or something.

Or, you know, a dance
class or something.

You would?

Oh, really?

Oh, sweetie, that
would be great.

I love you, Gracie.
I love you so much.

Okay, baby, okay.

I love you too. Bye.

Ah.