Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 6, Episode 22 - Let's Dance - full transcript

Cal turns himself in, serenades Maurice & Barbara who falls for him; Dr Capra has offended Marilyn's mother; Hayden tells him his apology made things worse & Holling suggests he takes Cotillion; Marilyn teaches Chris how to waltz.

(CRICKETS CHlRPlNG)

(OWL HOOTING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Cal, what the hell
are you doin' here?

Forgive the intrusion.

I realize it's awfully late
to be calling.

If you're looking
for a place to hide,
I can't help you.

Oh, no.
Quite the contrary.

I've decided
to turn myself in.

May I?

Okay.



I thought perhaps
if it's not too great
an imposition,

you might assist in arranging
for my return

to the State Mental Hospital
at Ellisberg.

After considerable
deliberation,

I've concluded that,
above all, I want my freedom.

Wait a minute.

You're gonna turn yourself
in for three hots and a cot
because you want your freedom?

I've been undergoing
regular therapy
with Dr. Capra,

and he agrees that I've purged
my antisocial impulses.

If I can convince
the authorities of that,

they'll have little recourse
but to grant
my formal release.

Hmm.

MICHELLE:
I'm afraid the couscous
was a little dry.

Haven't quite got the hang
of that stove yet.



ED: Oh, I thought it was
very tasty, Mrs. Capra.

Would you like some
more coffee, Mrs. Whirlwind?

Okay.

I'm glad you found
the tiramisu to your liking.

I made it myself.

It's kind of a house
specialty around here
from an old family recipe.

It's a shame to leave
just this little bit here.

Why don't you take this,
Mrs. Whirlwind?

PHIL: More coffee, Marilyn?

No, thanks.

PHIL: Hey, Ed, would you mind
giving me a hand
with some firewood?

Oh, yeah, sure, Dr. Capra.

PHIL: Some moon tonight, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Is something wrong, Ed?

Well, now that you
bring it up, Dr. Capra, uh...

Yeah?

Well, that was
a pretty serious
breach of etiquette in there.

What?

Well, puttin' more food
on Mrs. Whirlwind's plate
like that.

(SPEAKING TLlNGlT)

Rude.

But she finished
every last bit.

Well, you didn't leave her
much choice.

Well, what are you talkin'
about, Ed? Nobody forced her
to eat seconds.

Well, it's cultural,
Dr. Capra.

See, if a Tlingit leaves
any food on his plate at all,

it's considered
a terrible insult to the host.

Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.

Oh, you probably
just didn't know any better.

Cal, why don't you
have a seat in here?

I got to talk to the Doc
for a minute.

Right-o.

I'm going with him.

See the boy through
the formalities.

Good idea.

Let's hope your counseling
did the trick.

One of the more dramatic
turnarounds of obsessive
compulsive monomania

in my experience.

You know they're gonna
put him through the wringer
at Ellisberg, don't you?

Psychological testing
and whatnot.

That's not really
your bailiwick, is it?

Maybe not.

But during my intern days,
I did demonstrate a certain
flair for the discipline.

As a matter of fact,
Dr. Horowitz was crushed

when I told him
I wasn't going to specialize
in psychiatry.

So you do think
he can pass muster?

I wouldn't have
suggested that he surrender
if I didn't think so.

I guess there's no way
we can talk him out of it now,
anyway.

You've heard Cal's side
of the saga.

How he became overly obsessed
with the Guarneri violin
I hired him to evaluate.

And how he felt he had to
get it back from me.

His passion for that violin
was all-consuming.

There's no getting around
the fact that
I feel some responsibility.

If I hadn't preferred charges
against him
when he blew up my truck,

he wouldn't be committed
to that lollipop factory.

(EXPLOSION)

What he couldn't have
told you

was how his subsequent escape

poisoned the water
between Barbara and me.

Call it a conflict between
a sense of duty and
bald-faced sentimentality.

Where is he?

False alarm.
What?

He's craftier
than I thought he was.

I must advise you, Maurice,

obstructing a criminal
investigation
is a felony offense.

I'm aware of that.

Not to mention
the irreparable harm
it would do

to any possibility
of our future association.

With that in mind,
I'm giving you the opportunity
to amend the record.

Do you want to
change your story?

That's what happened, Barbara.

Last thing in the world
I'd want would be for Barbara
to think

I sold that boy
down the river to get back
in her good graces.

I see.

There she is.

BARBARA: Maurice.

Dr. Capra, is the prisoner
ready for transport?

Yes, I am, Officer.
If you would.

Barbara, is that
really necessary?

Regulations.
It's all right,
Mr. Minnifield.

I'd just as soon everything
were done exactly
according to protocol.

This your kit,
Mr. lngraham?
Yes, it is.

Maurice, would you mind?
Certainly.

Appreciate this.

Cal.

Remember, there's language
other than music.

Dr. Capra, I don't know
what I would've done
without your good offices.

I'll be forever in your debt.

BARBARA: Let's go, lngraham.

(ZYDECO MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

What do you say, Chris?
You want to dance?

Huh? No.

I'll dance with you, Maggie.

Oh, Bert, thanks. No.
That's okay.

I don't think I've ever
seen you hoof it, Chris.

Well, he's always got
one excuse or another.

Hey. It's a center-of-gravity
thing, you know.

I hear the music,
but it's a long way
from my ears to my feet.

Typical guy.
You just need some lessons.

Yeah.

Hmm. Yeah.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Whirlwind.
Um, listen, I think
I owe you an apology.

Last night during dinner,
I'm afraid I may have been

a little overzealous
in my hosting duties.

Uh-huh.

So, if I was rude in any way,
I want you to know
how deeply sorry I am.

I didn't hurt your feelings,
did I?
No.

Well, good, good.

Glad we straightened that out.

HAYDEN: Oh, man.

Oh, no.

Did you say something,
Hayden?
No.

Well, come on, Hayden.

It's obvious there's something
on your mind.
What's up?

I'm a little surprised,
that's all.
A man of your caliber.

What do you mean?

That was a terrible
breach of etiquette.

What was?

That so-called apology
to Marilyn's mother.

Whatever you did.
You just
made things worse.

Oh, what are you
talkin' about?

You never corner
a Tlingit elder into
a direct „yes” or „no” answer.

Did he do that?

Well, now, hold on.
Why? How come?

It's a matter of respect.

You don't force an answer
that you want to hear.

Oh, jeez. I had no idea.

Well, I suppose
we can't expect you to.

Well, yeah.
I mean, after all,
I am from the lower 48.

And you haven't
had cotillion.

Cotillion?

Just about everybody
in Cicely takes cotillion.

Wait a minute.
You mean, cotillion
as in cotillion?

It's been around
more than 70 years.

Good manners
are a tradition in Cicely.

Living on the frontier,
in a cultural mix like this,

you don't make it a priority,

why, etiquette just goes
right out the window.

Next thing you know, people
are splitting each other's
skulls with hatchets.

You don't believe me,
you just go down to Sleetmute
on a Saturday night.

Huh.
Marilyn teaches cotillion
these days.

I mean, now that her
grandma's retired.

I took it for three years,
10 to 13,
learned all the basics.

You know, what to do
at a potlatch,
how to use a marrow fork.

Pretty good foxtrot, too.

Marrow fork?

BARBARA: Come on, Maurice,
what did you do to get him
to turn himself in?

MAURICE: Nothing.
Not a thing.
It was all his idea.

Oh, did I tell you? I ran
into these Japanese tourists
on the Kenai,

hell-bent on bagging
some musk-ox, right?

Bought game tags,
1,500 bucks a pop.

And what do you think
they wound up nailing?

I don't know. Caribou?

Two wolverines.

Figure each one of
those puppies cost
close to five Gs a kill.

Well, most of the jokers
out on the game trail

don't have any idea
which end of a firearm's
operational anyway.

Maybe you and I can bring down
some trophy-class bull moose

next time you get
a few days r 'n r?

(TSKING)

Roger that.

You know, I've been thinking,

if all goes well,
I might see about getting
the old quartet back together.

Maybe do a little touring,
expand the repertoire to
some of the later Beethoven.

The Opus 131, the 132.

1600 hours.

There's a wink-and-nod motel
at milepost 280.

I think we'll stop there
for the night.

Oh, I was hoping we were
going to press onwards
towards Ellisberg tonight?

Regs on consecutive hours
behind the wheel
are pretty strict.

Well, I certainly wouldn't
want to violate any rules.

(CHUCKLES)

Wink-and-nod motel, huh?

Well, it's not
the Ritz-Carlton,
but I guess it'll do.

Right.

I mean,
what else do we need

besides clean sheets
and a decent bed.

MARILYN: Class, I'd like
to introduce Mr. Stevens.

He'll be joining us
starting today.

Let's take
our waltz positions.

Close hold.

And, gentlemen, remember,

right foot forward,
left foot to side.

Ladies, left foot back,
right foot to side.

Music, please.

(SLOW DANCE MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Look at him.
What a dork!

I know.

One, two, three.

Oh, sorry.
No, it's okay.

Stop the music.

Miss Spencer, do you have
something you'd like to share
with the rest of the class?

No, ma'am.

Well, let's keep
your comments to yourself.

Why don't I just sit
this one out, Marilyn?
You need the practice.

And it's Miss Whirlwind.

Sorry.

Gentlemen, let's move up
one position.

And what do you say?

MEN: May I have this dance,
please?

Okay, let's continue.
Music, please.

One, two, three.
One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Loser.

Stop the music.

Miss Spencer.
Yes, Miss Whirlwind?

I want to see you after class.

Gentlemen, let's rotate
once again.

BARBARA: Maurice, you and Cal
take this one.

All right.
I've got the adjoining room.

Once he's asleep,
why don't you join me
for a nightcap?

Well, Cal, you got a choice
between prime rib on
whole wheat or a turkey club.

I've also got
some hot minestrone

right here in the Thermos.

That looks very good.

Barbara, you're gonna
take the cuffs off of him,
aren't you?

I suppose the man has to eat.

CAL: Oh, well, I wouldn't want
to flout regulations, officer.

Just so we understand
one another, Mr. lngraham,

no funny business.

Oh, you have my word,
officer.

Thank you very much.

Would you mind if I
played my violin briefly?

Just enough to restore
the circulation in my hands?

Yeah, sure, Cal.
We could all use
a little music.

I'm afraid my violin
can't hold a candle up

to Mr. Minnifield's Guarneri,
but...

(LAUGHS)

Still, all and all,
the tone's not bad.

(SNlFFlNG)

Oh, is that tabbouleh?

Don't stop.

I mean, I wouldn't mind
hearing a little more.

How about you, Maurice?

Sure.
Oh, of course.

Only too happy to oblige.

(CLlNKlNG)

(CAL SNORING)

Good evening, Barbara.

What about lngraham?

Oh, he's sleeping like a baby
in there.

He's got the weight
of the world
lifted off his shoulders

since he decided
to do the honorable thing.

You care for a Remy?

God, I hate extradites.

I think we'll look back
on this mission

as a new day for us.

Hmm.

Barbara, we've had
our ups and downs,

but I think we can
put all that in our past.

lngraham certainly
has a facility
with that instrument.

Oh, he plays a mean fiddle,
all right.

You seem really taken by it.

Criminals and sociopaths
will fool you.

You'll see flashes of genius
where you least expect it.

Well, I think
Tony Vivaldi had a little
something to do with that.

Here's to two people

who discovered
that the road to love
has many twists and turns,

but the final destination
is well worth the journey.

Barbara, is something wrong
with you?

Driving all day,

my back's a little sore.

Oh-ho. Well...

(CHUCKLING)

You need

the patented Minnifield

rubdown.

Maurice, I think
you ought to go back
to your room now.

The code's pretty clear about
leaving a prisoner unattended.

Well, Barbara, this nightcap
was your idea.

Tell you the truth, Maurice,

I don't know
what I was thinking.

(LAUGHING)
Well, who's gonna know?

I mean,
Cal's bending over backwards
to be cooperative.

I shouldn't even be drinking
on duty.

On duty?

Barbara, it's after midnight.

The last thing I need
is to be beefed by lA.

Good night.

PHIL: 'Cause here I am
thinking I'm Mr. Gracious,

and it turns out I'm just
putting my foot right in it.

I'm sure Marilyn's mom
won't hold it against you.

We're still considered
newcomers, Phil.

Well, I'd hate to be
considered a lout.

I mean, even Hayden Keyes
has these native rituals
and customs down cold.

Well, Maggie's been telling me
about the cotillion.
Maybe we should drop by.

Phil?

You know, my family,

we always prided ourselves
on a certain mastery
of social graces.

I mean, my mother
was a real stickler.

What's so funny?

Well, maybe it was
how you were raised, Phil,

but I'm afraid all those years
of wolfing sandwiches
in college dorms

has stripped it all away.

What are you talking about?

Well, no offense, but you
could use a few etiquette
lessons in mainstream culture,

let alone the Tlingit's.

Oh, really?

Well, admit it, hon,
table manners are
just not your strong suit.

What do you mean?

Well, you know,
like you're doing now,

dipping your sausage
in the egg yolks.

Come on, honey,
I'm in my own home here.

Oh, I see. You want to be
on your best behavior
for strangers,

but it's perfectly okay
to eat like an animal
in front of your wife?

Okay, so you don't like
the way I dip my meat.
Is there anything else?

Well, there is that
sucking sound you make

when you're trying
to get a bit of food
out of your teeth.

I make a sucking sound?

Come on, hon,
you've got to be up there
at 20,000 hertz.

(CHUCKLES)

Mr. Stevens?
Yeah.

I'm Margaret Spencer.
You know Tori.

Mmm-hmm. What's up?

Well, Tori can explain.

I'll just wait,
if you don't mind.

What's this all about?

Miss Whirlwind is making me
give you dance lessons.

She's punishing me,
and neither of us
can attend cotillion

until I teach you
how to waltz.

You?
Look, it wasn't my idea.

Okay. Well, I don't want you
to teach me anything.
All right?

Fine. Then you call her up
and tell her.

Fine. We'll get this
straightened out right now.

Hey, Marilyn, it's Chris.

Yeah. Yeah. Listen,

Tori and her mom
just popped by and...

Oh, yeah. Yeah.
They explained everything.

Well, 'cause I just...
I really just don't want to.

But I didn't do anything,
Marilyn.

Well, no,
I haven't been practicing.

Okay. Fine. Okay.

Goodbye.

Okay. She says we have to.

Got any good ballroom music?

I'm going to forego
the restraints, Mr. lngraham.

Oh, I certainly wouldn't want
any special treatment,
Officer Semanski.

Wrist irons are
perfectly in order.

That's a matter
of police discretion.

I don't appreciate
being second-guessed.

Of course. I don't mean
to be presumptuous.

Barbara.
What's wrong?

Look at this.

We're on Steese Highway.

Is that a problem?
Yeah. We ought to be
on Elliot Highway.

Let me see that.

Oh, looks like I got
Circle Hot Springs mixed up
with Manley Hot Springs.

Oh, that's just great.

Well, what are we
gonna do now?

The only thing we can do,
turn back toward Fairbanks.

Well, how far off-course
are we?

Oh, 100, 150,
close to 200 miles.

Oh, that's just lovely.

There's no possible way
we can get to Ellisberg today.

Oh, dear. I was counting
on turning myself in.

Oh, we'll be lucky
to make it tomorrow.

I take full responsibility.

You have my apology.

Well, no harm done.
What's one more day?

Right. What's one more day?

Maybe you can help
pass the time with that
violin of yours tonight.

Yes. Yes, of course,
if you like.

Good.

(LOUNGE MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO)

(WOLF HOWLING)

(WIND HOWLING)

(GROWLING)

(HOWLING)

Dinner's ready, dear.

(GROWLING)

There you are, hon.

Let's eat. I made
your favorite, pot roast.

We got a letter
from Gwen today.

They're thinking
of having another child.

Corn?

I told 'em they should take
some time off and come visit.

It'd be great
to see them again,
don't you think?

It wouldn't hurt Jack
to get away from the firm
for a few days.

He's such a workaholic.

Gwen told me they hadn't
had a decent vacation,

not since Jack had
his orthoscopic surgery.

(SNORING)

(VlOLlN PLAYING)

I know what's
going on in there.

Say again, mister.

That 200-mile round robin
today was no accident.

Do you think I deliberately
took a wrong turn?

Barbara, I know
your sense of direction,

it's second only to mine.

We've hunted the tundra
together for heaven's sake.

Make your point, Maurice.
My point?

My point is,
you have feelings for Cal,

and you've allowed
those feelings
to cloud your judgment.

How dare you?

No, Sergeant Semanski,
how dare you?

I enjoy his violin playing.

And I don't begrudge you that.

But when you disobey orders,

that's a horse
of another color.

I thought that was something
that we shared,

sense of duty,

a commitment
to a code of conduct.

Do you have any idea
what this will do
to your career?

This is a black mark

that will sully
a whole lifetime
of dedicated service.

I appreciate the input.

I hope you understand me.
To an extent.

I listened
to the perp's music,
and I began to think,

„What if those headshrinkers
at Ellisberg don't see
what I see?”

An individual capable
of being rehabilitated.

That is not
your responsibility.

Your responsibility ends
when you turn him
over to his keepers.

lncarcerate a talent
like that,

so that those elitists can
foist their do-gooder agenda
and medication on him?

It wouldn't be right,

and I'll be damned
if I'll have it
on my conscience.

I have said what
I'm going to say, Barbara.

I'm going to bed now.
Good night.

(BIG BAND MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

TORI: One, two, three.
One, two, three.

No, dork. It's up on two,
not on three.

Okay. Fine.
Let's take a break.

Tell me about it.
Yeah.

If you want to learn to dance,
why don't you rent
a video or something?

This is stupid.

Because we can't go
to the cotillion
unless we do this, remember?

We could always tell her
we got through
the whole lesson.

Whatever.

The Stranger.

This yours?

Yeah, they're mine. Why?

I'm really into Camus.

You?

„Mother died today,”

something something
„yesterday...”

Anyway, „Mother died today.”

Anybody can memorize
the first line.

Digging the meaning,
that's what it's all about.

Like I'm some doofus?

No. It's just

a lot of hopelessness
to swallow in one sitting.

Well, I wouldn't exactly
call it hopelessness.

Alienation, futility,
maybe.

But just because
his characters find life
meaningless

doesn't mean
they've given up all hope.

You're like
this big existentialist, huh?

I don't know.
I mean, it's cool.

Not like „cool” cool,
but it makes sense.
Yeah.

You read Kierkegaard?

I don't like the sound
of his name.

You don't know
existentialism, then.

Kierkegaard was the big daddy.

All but ignored
till after he kicked.

You know what, I ought to lay
Fear And Trembling on you.

Hey, don't put
yourself out, okay?

Oh, yeah.
You don't like the name?

You know, some kids think
it's nerdy to be
into this kind of stuff.

It's bad enough
they know I'm giving
dance lessons to a dweeb.

You're pretty conceited,
you know that?

Can we get this over with?

TORI: God.

Picking up where
we left off last week,

what were we saying
about family obligations
among the Tlingits?

I'm a raven,
my father's clan is eagle.

So if I have a child,
who will she look to
for guidance?

You and your brothers.
MARILYN: Correct.

Then who does
the father take care of?

His nieces and nephews.
Weird.

Can you tell me
about a formal potlatch,
Mr. Vreeland?

If there's a death
in the family,

then the opposite clan
takes care of everything
while the family mourns.

But, like, a year later,

the grieving clan
pays back the father's clan

with this big party
called a potlatch.

MARILYN: Very good,
Mr. Vreeland.
That was correct.

It's good to have somebody
who's post-acne aboard.

Oh, I'm not really
taking the class. I'm just
here to humor Marilyn.

What would be
a serious faux pas
at a potlatch? Paula?

Never tell
another clan's story,

and don't bring food
if you're a guest.

The hosts
take care of everything.

Dr. Capra.

Yeah. What if you're not
a Native American?

I mean, you don't have a clan.

Oh, lndians
don't see it that way.
Everyone has a clan.

Whites, blacks, Asians.
Makes no difference.

Huh.

Who can tell me about
dance partners at a cotillion?

Mr. Stevens.

You dance with the one
who brung you.

Can you tell Mr. Stevens
the rule, Harold?

You only have to
for the first and last
dance of the night.

Unless it's a dinner dance,

then the first dance
is with the lady
you're sitting next to.

Is cutting in okay?

Yes. It's also okay
for a lady to

cast a soft look
at another dance partner,

if she'd like to switch,
but no making faces.

Is that true
for a Tlingit dance, too?

Oh, we're not as strict.

Just needs
a little steering fluid,
and we'll be on our way.

We don't get going soon,
we're gonna waste
another day.

Oh, I need some caffeine.
Anybody else?

Thank you, Maurice.
Black?

Check.
Cal?

Thank you,
Mr. Minnifield.

Perhaps if they have
a Yoo-hoo?

(MUMBLING) A Yoo-hoo?

I'm glad it's nothing serious.

Hmm?

The vehicle.

You know, I really have
enjoyed hearing you play,
Mr. lngraham.

Cal.
May I call you Cal?

Oh, please.

It's a nice name.
Short for Calvin?

Caldecott, actually.
Caldecott Evelyn.

My chums
call me Cottie.

You know, Cottie,

the authorities at Ellisberg
are a pretty vindictive,
self-important bunch.

I'm a little worried about
how they're going to
deal with

your going AWOL on them.

I appreciate your concern,
Officer Semanski.

However, I do wish
to impress upon you

how important it is
that I get there
and clear my name.

If circumstances prevented me
from surrendering,

it might irrevocably
alter my plans for the future.

You know, Ellisberg
isn't my primary area
of jurisdiction.

It'd be pretty much impossible
for me to see you,

say, should follow-up visits
be required.

Or court appearances,
should the need arise.

Nevertheless, any course
but to turn myself in

before sundown this evening
is utterly unacceptable to me.

As I know it is for you,
Officer.

lndeed, Mr. lngraham.
You don't have to worry.

CHRIS ON RADIO:
Hear ye, hear ye!

It's cotillion time
in Cicely once again.

Grand ballroom, Friday night,
7:00 p.m ., ye old rec center.

It's a time for ritual,
a time for protocol, manners.

Been doin' a lot of thinking
about manners lately.

About courtesy, the dance.

The gentle behaviors
lumped together
that we call civility.

Let me read you something.
„Manners are the happy way
of doing things.

Each, once a stroke of genius
or love, now repeated
and hardened into usage.

They form at last
a rich varnish with which
the routine of life is washed,

and its details adorned.

If they are superficial,

so are the dewdrops
which give such depth
to the morning meadows.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Dig it.

(CLlCKlNG)

BARBARA: I'm hereby
remanding the prisoner

over to the custody
of Doctors Graham and Wiley

and the staff
of Ellisberg Hospital.

Well, we certainly
appreciate your help.

Doctor, you realize
Mr. lngraham
is here voluntarily?

Moreover, he was a model
of obedience and decorum
all the way from Cicely.

I'll see that
it's noted in the record.

If I could just have
a moment?

You've been
more than understanding,
Mr. Minnifield. I...

I can't thank you enough.

Nonsense, Cal,
it's the least I could do

under the circumstances.

Thank you, Officer Semanski.

That's not necessary,
Mr. lngraham.

I shan't forget
your kindness and humanity.

Just doing my job.

Good luck.

Well, thank you.

I know that wasn't easy.

We'd better roll.

Barbara,
no matter what happens
between the two of us,

I want you to know that
you did the right thing.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

You know, Jimmy Alderson
up on Coffee Pot Ridge?

They got hit
with a 20-foot drift.

Snowbound
for three straight weeks.

No school, no homework,
no nothing.

I couldn't live
that far out of town.

I mean, who are you
gonna talk to?
Your parents?

You know,
Angus invited me to cotillion.
Creep me out.

What am I gonna tell him?

Tell him
you don't date losers.

I can't do that.
I'd be grounded
for about a century.

If you're still looking
for a date,

my Dad said I could
borrow the snowmobile.

I thought
your parents were coming?

No, I talked 'em
out of it.

What can I do you, Chris?
Whiskey. Straight up.

Hey, you guys.
Let's get going, okay?

GIRL: Aren't you coming?

I'll catch up.
My mom wanted me
to talk to Shelly.

What do you think
you were doing?

I just wanted to say hi.

Do you know how close
you came to humiliating me
in front of all my friends?

By saying hello?

Look, just forget
we know each other, okay?

Is that so much to ask?

Hey.

Hey, Walt, is it me,

or is there anything crueler
than a 13-year-old girl?

I knew lifers in the joint
who weren't as judgmental.

Funny you should say that.

Why is that?

I was watching that
Otto Preminger version
of Joan of Arc.

The one with Jean Seberg?
Hmm.

Awful film,
but I got to thinking.

Hell, that jeune fille
dispatched entire armies
during her hormonal shift.

Without the onset of estrogen,
there might never have been
a Battle of Orleans.

Well, don't forget
Lucrezia Borgia.

Horror show.

Bad age.
No doubt about it.

Maurice.
Hello, Barbara.

I've given some thought
to the prisoner transport.

I realize now I experienced
a transitory infatuation.

Yeah.

But that's all it was.
An aberration.
It didn't mean anything.

Not the way that
you and I mean something.

Barbara, I know
there were feelings there.

Far be it from me
to ask you to deny them.

He could never
mean anything to me.

I want a real relationship,
Maurice.

Not a schoolgirl crush.

Barbara,

I feel honor bound
to let you see this.

What is it?

It's a letter from Cal.
It arrived this morning.

„Dear Mr. Minnifield,

you'll be pleased to know
that I passed

my psychiatric evaluation
with flying colors.

I've been transferred from
Ellisberg to a halfway house
in Talkeetna

and I'm told that
I'll remain here
for at least a few months,

until I can successfully
make the transition
back into society.

In the interim,
I may be allowed
brief furloughs,

during which time
I hope to visit you and my
other good friends in Cicely.”

CAL AND BARBARA:
Conditions here
are pleasant enough...

CAL: Every morning,
I make my bed
and complete my toilet,

and then set about
my daily chores.

Early hours are spent
mopping the kitchen
and dining areas

and sweeping the porch.

But in the afternoons,
I often repair to the garden,

where I especially enjoy
pruning the shrubbery.

After supper,
we're often given
television privileges.

I'm quite fond of a program
called The Nanny.

It's very droll.

All in all,
I have few complaints.

I hope to see you soon.

Sincerely yours,
C.E. Ingraham.

PS:

Please extend
my kindest regards
to Officer Semanski.”

If this changes
your feelings in any way, I...

I understand.

No, it doesn't.

(KIDS CHATTERING)

MICHELLE: Is that Chris?
PHIL: Hey, Chris.

Hey. Looking pretty natty.

I don't think I've seen you
in a suit before.

Yeah, well,
kind of alters your ego
a little bit.

Yeah.

Excuse me, one minute.
Sure.

Tori?

What do you want?

You haven't
figured it out yet?

You're mad because
I didn't want my friends
seeing me talking to you.

Yeah.

Okay. Look, okay.
There are certain rules.

I'm one of the popular girls,
and I mean like
really popular.

And when you are popular,
you just can't go around
talking to people who aren't.

I understand.

You don't want to
squander your social capital.

You know what you are?

You're a
fair-weathered friend.

Guess I expected more
out of somebody
who's into Camus.

I mean,
look at Doctor Rieux,

he didn't give up
on the people of Oran.

He stuck with 'em all the way
through the plague.

Not on his own choice.

I mean,
he hadn't got swept along
with everybody else.

Well, yeah. But at least
you saw his humanity.

I mean, he wasn't
like that priest...
What was his name?

Father Paneloux.

Father Paneloux.

Tryin' to convince everybody

that the hand of God
was flailing them
for their sins.

You know, Chris...

I really like talking to you
about this kind of stuff.

Me, too.

I mean, we can still talk
about Camus and stuff

if you want.

Not that it's any big deal
or anything.

Okay.

And, Chris,
lose the tie tack.

(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)

Here goes.

Excuse me,
Mrs. Whirlwind.

Hello, Doctor Capra.

Lovely evening, isn't it?

You don't have to answer that.

Um, I just wanted to tell you
how deeply sorry I am
about the other night

and about how I tried
to apologize for it
the first time.

I have a lot to learn
about native culture.

Okay.

And I wanted to give you this,
if I could.
A kuk, I think it is.

I hope that
it's sufficiently modest.

Doesn't create
an inappropriate obligation?

No, it's good.

Okay.

(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey.
Hey.

Well, look at you.

I'll put this here.
Okay.

May I have this dance?

(LAUGHS)

Well, sure.
I'd be delighted.