Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 6, Episode 19 - Balls - full transcript
Chris sets up Maggie with a bowling partner, then becomes jealous of him; the Capras separate over a dispute about bowling; after being insulted by Maurice, Ed gives him notice & his girlfriend's father offers to fund his movie, The Shaman.
To protect herself from what?
Exposure and assassination.
You see, Mr. Fandio,
she's one of our agents.
Oh, no.
I know you didn't
mean it,
but I'm afraid you have
put her in an extremely
dangerous situation.
Great shot.
Notice how Hitch pushes in
and then throws the light
on him.
(DOOR OPENS)
LESTER: I just finished
the entertainment center.
A Mitsubishi, big screen.
Maurice,
you know my daughter.
Hi, Mr. Minnifield.
Heather, Ed.
Maurice.
Oh, I'm gonna do
the sump pump
first thing tomorrow.
Is it digital?
No, THX, just like
at the Four-plex.
Oh, you should see
Top Gun on this, Maurice.
Six speakers, surround-sound.
It's just like being down
on the carrier deck.
lmagine that.
LESTER:
Well, come on, Maurice.
I'm sure the espresso's ready.
Enjoy yourselves
and try to remember
the coasters next time.
Yes, Daddy.
MAN ON TV:
Just a second, you.
WOMAN ON TV:
Stay away from me. Let me go.
Let go of me.
Ed.
Stay away from me!
Let go! Let go!
Shouldn't we get
coasters or something?
(CHUCKLES)
Ed.
MAN ON TV:
Oh, you little fool.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
CHRIS ON RADIO: Hey, Cicely,
Chris in the Morning
bringing you another hour
of home-cooked karma.
Coming at you
through the miracle
of modern technology,
namely my trusty
Ampex reel-to-reel.
Why the out-of-body
experience?
Get serious, sports fans,
it's bowling time!
Your hometown keglers,
the Cicely Sweethearts,
defend
their championship title
next Saturday
at the annual borough
of arrowhead mixed doubles
invitational.
We're practicing all week
at Mary Jane's Lanes
in Cantwell,
so pack up the kids,
grab your Brunswick,
and come on down.
Whoa! Yeah! Baby!
Beautiful!
You like that, huh?
Very nice.
All right!
I got the next round.
Okay.
Nice ball, Hayden.
Right in the pocket.
Hey, how come you're not
bowling this year?
Oh, you know.
Fleischman and I
used to be a team,
sort of, not that
he was any good.
Mr. Seven-ten split
and whined a lot.
Anyway, Ruth-Anne
asked me to keep score, so...
Well, you know
what they say.
Life throws you a gutter ball,
you gotta slap on
the old rosin bag,
and step up to the line.
Hey, Hayden,
did you pick up the nine pin?
No.
Next time.
Hey, Chris, you're up.
Okay.
I want to see you
get back in the game.
I mean it.
Thanks.
Okay, Michelle,
knock 'em down!
(ALL CHEERING)
Four in a row!
Yeah.
That babe can bowl!
Hey, Philip, mon ami,
you've been
holding out on us!
She's pretty good, huh?
Good? I haven't seen
a woman crank it up like that
since Esther Johanssen
retired her ball
two years ago.
Find one you like, honey?
Yeah. I think so.
The other one
was giving me
a little blister.
These shoes are pinching,
though, you know?
I'm really glad we did this.
Thanks for talking
me into it, sweetie.
HOLLING: Hey, Phil!
I'm up.
Yeah.
Steady as she goes, Doc.
Try to stay out
of the gutter this time.
LESTER: Steady.
Well done, Ed!
Anacleto.
Thank you, Mr. Haynes.
I enjoy a good hunt.
Yeah.
Keeps one in touch
with tribal values.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, how do you like
your veal, Ed?
A little pink?
Oh, pink is good.
Pellegrino, okay?
Fine.
Say, I really appreciate you
bringing me along, Mr. Haynes.
Hey, it was a pleasure, Ed.
Lemon? Lime?
So, tell me,
how's the film business
these days?
It's kind of
on the backburner right now,
Mr. Haynes.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, I have
a script, you know,
making the rounds in L.A .
Couple nibbles,
but it's kind of hard
when you're not there
to press the flesh as it were.
Well, you know,
I always wondered
what would it take
to produce
something like that.
I read stories
in the Wall Street Journal.
What? Eight, nine million?
Oh, no. It'd be more like
$500,000, Mr. Haynes.
'Course Quentin Tarantino
spent two million
on Reservoir Dogs,
but I don't have nearly
as many bullets as he did.
$500,000?
Say, could I read
this script of yours?
Oh, sure. Why?
Well, I just might have
a proposition for you.
Really?
After all,
entertainment software is
the wave of the future.
Up till now,
the right opportunity just
hasn't presented itself.
Well, I think you'd like
this script, Mr. Haynes.
It's called The Shaman,
and it's all about this shaman
who has to choose
between his tribe
and the big city.
There's a love story in it,
fair amount of jeopardy
and pace, too.
Well, which, of course,
could be dialed up
if you felt like it wasn't
enough or something.
Well, say, why don't you
drop it by this evening?
And I'll read it tonight.
Great!
All right.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Come on. Trollope was a bore.
Are you kidding?
No.
Trollope's greatness was
his complete appreciation
of the usual.
Where'd you hear that?
Henry James.
Oh, there's high praise.
Trollope shows us
the people of his time.
It's like a window
on another world.
And don't overlook
the satirical value.
The Barsetshire Novels,
full of satire.
(SlGHlNG)
What?
You should re-read
The Warden, Chris.
It's a lot of fun.
Yeah, okay.
Sure.
Where'd you get
that great spin on the ball?
Oh, it was my sophomore year
of high school.
Lenny Valdez.
My parents nearly died
when I went out with him.
RUTH-ANNE: Trouble, huh?
He was two years older,
had an accent
and drove a low-rider.
Oh yeah!
You bet!
Oh, we had some
good times, though.
A lot of late nights
at the Strike 'N Spare.
You never told me about him.
Oh, didn't I?
No.
You mean you haven't bowled
since high school?
Well, you know,
college, nobody bowled.
It wasn't exactly
something you bragged about.
Hell, I'd brag about it.
You picked up
that eight-ten split,
I said to Ruth-Anne,
„This gal's taking us
to the top!”
Oh, I'll try.
I thought you dusted
every Tuesday.
What?
I said those shelves
are an abomination.
I'll do 'em tomorrow,
Maurice.
Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Well, I gotta pick Heather up
in 15 Minutes.
Tell her you'll be late.
Oh, I can't do that,
Maurice.
She's on her way back
from dance class.
Look, son,
where I come from
it's work first,
and play later.
Oh.
I'll put in an extra hour
tomorrow, Maurice, I promise.
Oh, I can't.
I forgot, we're going shopping
over in Sitka tomorrow.
You're seeing an awful lot
of this gal, aren't you?
Yeah, I am.
Well...
Take a piece of advice.
I'd back off, if I were you.
Oh, why is that?
Because you don't want
to get too involved.
Oh.
Look, son,
you've got a lot of options
in your future,
but, Heather Haynes
ain't one of 'em.
Oh, why is that, Maurice?
Why? Well...
How am I gonna put this?
You fly in different flocks,
sometimes opposites
attract but...
Maurice, Heather and I
happen to really
like each other.
Well, liking's fine,
as long as that's
as far as it goes.
I'm only looking out
for your own best interests,
son.
Oh, no, you're not!
You're just mad
because I've been spending
so much time over there.
Ed, do you think
that Lester Haynes
raised his only daughter,
sent her to
Cantwell Country Day,
junior year at Barcelona
to end up
with Ed Chigliak?
Look, that didn't come out
quite the way
I wanted it to, Ed, but...
I gotta go now, Maurice.
Ed, look, I didn't mean...
ED: Oh!
What do you think?
You look good.
Are you kidding?
It's fabulous.
You really like
the Donna Karan?
Which one was that?
The red.
Oh, definitely.
Heather?
Hmm?
I was wondering
if you'd like to go steady?
Go steady?
That's kind of
an old-fashioned concept,
isn't it, Ed?
Oh, well, we could call it
whatever you wanted.
What I just mean something,
you know, to let people know
we're serious
about each other.
Well, like, you know,
if you could...
If you could just
wear this around your neck.
Okay.
Oh, really?
Sure.
Oh, great!
Here you go.
You're so funny sometimes.
Here we go.
CHRIS: One more, please.
What's going on, Chris?
Maggie needs a new partner
and I'm having try-outs,
Ruth-Anne.
One more, please.
Okay
I notice that you're favoring
your left side. Recent injury?
No, just my style, I guess.
Married?
Was.
Ever bowl mixed doubles?
Nope.
Last book read?
The Sum of All Fears
by Tom Clancy.
Any past life experiences
or O.O .B .s you might want
to tell me about?
Out-of-body occurrences?
Not really.
If chosen, you'll have to
cover your own shirt
and lane expenses.
That gonna be a problem?
No.
Okay, thank you.
We'll be in touch.
Next.
Good luck.
Orders of the day.
You can start
with the composter.
What's this?
„Due to prevailing
circumstances,
effective immediately,
I will no longer be available
for employment.”
You mean
you're giving notice?
I think it's time
I moved on, Maurice.
Moved on where?
To other opportunities.
Look, son,
I used a poor choice of words.
This whole thing
with Heather's
got you bumfuzzled, son.
Why don't you take
a couple of days off?
Lester's gonna produce
my movie.
Oh, is that a fact?
He believes in me, Maurice.
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
It means he supports
what I'm doing.
And I don't?
Look, son,
I've been supporting you
since you were 1 2 years old.
That's not enough
support for you?
Maurice, all you think
I'm good for
is dusting your shelves
and sweeping your floors.
Now that is not true!
I gave you the full budget
for the Cicely film festival
and you pissed it away.
A man has got to earn
his opportunities, Ed.
Where I come from...
Yeah, Maurice, I'm sick
of where you come from!
You're wrong about
Lester and you know what?
You're wrong about me, too!
Hey, Maggie,
do you remember Bob Pickering,
archeology professor
at UA Fairbanks?
Fleischman's mammoth, right?
The alleged
Fleischman's mammoth.
Right.
It's just another
in a long line of famous
„no-fossil” cases.
You mind if we sit down?
Go ahead.
You know, Bob's in the area
doing some field research.
See, I'm checking Altithermals
in the Pleistocene Period.
(EXCLAIMS)
Yeah, not to mention
he's a league bowler.
190 average.
No kidding.
What can I say?
I grew up in Milwaukee.
Oh.
Well, listen, we need
a pair of alternate bowlers
on the team
so I thought you and Bob
could maybe team up.
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, nothing
personal at all.
She's not interested...
Hey... You don't have to
do anything.
Just bowl.
Just see if there's a basic
bowling compatibility there.
Hey, Maggie,
you wanna bowl.
You know you do.
Well, yeah, but...
Well, you sure
you don't mind?
Oh, it beats looking
at fossilized rodent remains
every night.
Oh! Well...
Okay. I guess
it wouldn't hurt.
Well, all right. Cool.
I'll get us a round.
MICHELLE:
What do you think, Phil?
The blue or the brown?
Blue.
Really?
I kind of like the brown.
Then go with the brown.
I think I will.
You know, honey, I don't think
this whole bowling thing
is really for me.
What do you mean?
Well, don't get me wrong.
I think it's great
that you've gotten into it
and everything,
and you should keep
bowling if you want to,
but maybe we ought to
get you another partner.
Well, why?
I want to bowl with you.
That's why we signed up
in the first place,
to do something together.
Yeah, I'm just not
really enjoying it,
that's all.
Oh.
You know what it is?
I'll tell you.
It's those shoes.
Oh, what?
Oh, gee.
I have always
hated bowling shoes.
You know,
the green and then the red
and the blue.
They're like
Bozo the Clown shoes.
And that's not the worst part.
The worst part is you gotta
put your feet in these things
that have been rented out
continuously
since the Eisenhower
administration.
Hey, have you ever seen
a new pair of bowling shoes?
I don't think they exist.
They're like VWs.
They just get recycled.
We're talking magnets
for fungal infection.
You're joking, right?
Oh, no, they don't disinfect
those things.
They just put 'em
right back up on the shelves.
I am sure we can find you
your own pair, Phil.
Oh, no. No, count me out!
Hey, it took me
three years to get
my first pair of ski boots,
and that's something I love.
I'm certainly not gonna
spend 50 bucks or whatever
on a pair of clown shoes
I intend to use once
and never wear again.
Let me understand this.
You don't want to bowl
because of the shoes?
Can I wear my tennis shoes?
'Cause if I can
wear my Nikes...
You know you can't wear
tennis shoes, Phil.
You need
the leather soles to slide.
And you can't
bowl in your socks, either.
Tell the truth. You just
don't want to bowl, period.
Well, that's not
really true.
Yes, it is!
Okay! Okay!
Is that such a crime?
I admit it, all right!
I feel like an idiot up there.
But listen, if that doesn't
matter to you,
I'll do it, okay?
Fine. I'll bowl.
Don't bother.
Oh, what are you mad about?
I'm just being honest.
Yeah. Right.
Can I help it
if I don't like it?
What do you want from me?
How about a little support?
I'm being very supportive.
I didn't say
you shouldn't bowl.
This isn't
about bowling, Phil.
What are you talking about?
It's about bowling.
It's only about bowling.
Well,
if that's what you think,
then maybe you're right!
Maybe I do need
another partner!
What? Michelle!
Michelle, come on!
You're being ridiculous.
You're just jealous, Phil!
PHIL: I don't believe this!
We're arguing because
you think I'm jealous
of your bowling ability?
I knew
you were insecure, Phil.
I just never knew
how deep it went.
This is nuts!
I should've seen this
a long time ago.
Seen what?
Michelle, you're making
so much more out of this
than you have to.
Will you come on
out of the car? Michelle!
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
You're not going
anywhere, Michelle!
Take it out of gear!
Don't drive away! Michelle!
Michelle!
Strange but true, Cicely,
bowling started in church.
Seems certain
athletically-inclined
parishioners in Germany,
around 200 A.D .,
would roll a stone
down the aisle
and knock over a club
representing the devil.
From there, it was just a hop,
skip and a jump
to bowling for dollars.
Weird, huh?
It's 9.50 out of 10.
Thank you.
WOMAN: Bye, Ruth-Anne.
Can I help you, Maurice?
Huh?
Oh...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Ed left this over
at the house...
I should've repaired that.
Anyway, could you
see that he gets this?
Be glad to.
Thanks.
Ruth-Anne,
would you also ask him
what he wants me to do
with his share of the salmon
we got on that last trip?
It was quite a bit of fish.
We had a good trip!
It's no problem
if he wants me to keep it
in my freezer,
but if he'd prefer,
I'll transfer it
over to Holling's.
He told me what happened,
Maurice.
What you said
and what he said.
I know you were
only trying to help.
It's no skin off my nose.
I mean, I've been
supporting the kid
since he was this high.
Kind of a burden
off my shoulders.
Philip.
What can I get for you?
Oh, uh...
Just a cup of coffee, thanks.
I understand
Michelle is staying upstairs.
Yeah. She asked
if she could use
the spare room for a while.
Well, I think „a while” is
probably pushing it, Holling.
She'll be coming home
real soon.
She gave me money
for the entire week.
On the other hand,
it's probably a good idea
to get a little break
from each other
every now and then,
you know, it's healthy.
Couldn't agree more.
She didn't say anything,
did she?
No. Well, she did ask
if the meals
come with the room.
They don't.
Hey, Doc,
are you and the missus
still in the tournament,
since the split?
What?
We haven't split, Hayden.
We just had
a little argument, that's all.
Happily married couples
do that, you know.
And I'd appreciate you
keeping your nose
out of my personal business,
if that's all right with you.
Just asking.
I should probably go
talk to her, huh?
She's just up the stairs.
MICHELLE: Who is it?
It's me.
I don't want to
talk right now, Phil.
Well, could you
at least open the door?
Hey.
Look, about last night...
Things got
a little out of hand.
We both said things.
This is for you.
It's a new bowling ball.
It's a Hammer.
They tell me it's the best.
Blue pearlized urethane.
You just bring it in
to the pro shop in Cantwell,
they'll drill it for you.
Thanks.
I drove over there
myself this morning.
Had to borrow
Maurice's four-by.
Log truck blew a tire
in front of me on Route 6,
I nearly got splattered!
This is what we do,
isn't it?
We fight and then
we buy each other
bowling balls.
This is the first bowling ball
I've bought you, Michelle.
Ever.
And there you go.
Where? There I go where?
Missing the point.
(STAMMERING)
What is your point, Michelle?
I mean, what do you want
me to say?
Do you want me
to say I'm sorry?
I'm sorry. Okay?
I don't know what I did,
but I'm sorry.
Look, if you don't want
the ball, just give it to me.
I'll return it.
I don't know
what I want, Phil.
Look...
How about
bowling practice today?
I can't bowl, Phil.
I don't know how
you can even suggest it.
Mr. Haynes?
Ed. Come in.
Have a seat.
Listen, you want
some coffee or juice?
Oh, that's okay.
Listen, I've taken the liberty
of drawing up
a preliminary budget.
Great.
And I bow
to your expertise, Ed,
but based on a 25-day-shoot,
I...
I think we can bring this in
at under $400,000.
Can you do it
in 25 days?
Oh, absolutely.
Well, good. Have a seat.
Of course, I do have
one or two notes.
Sure.
Listen,
I read that script
three times now, Ed,
and you've created
a brilliant premise,
which is why I find
the ending
such a disappointment.
Oh, but the shaman
gets the girl.
Exactly.
I don't follow you,
Mr. Haynes.
Well, you've painted a picture
of two different cultures, Ed,
two different worlds, really.
On one hand, a Native American
from a small fishing village,
on the other,
a sophisticated girl
from the city.
Do you really think
two such people
could find
lasting happiness together?
Well, of course, you know,
Richard Gere and Julia Roberts
they did it in Pretty Woman.
Dudley Moore,
Liza Minnelli, Arthur,
Johnny Weissmuller,
Maureen O'Hara in Tarzan.
Those are fantasy, Ed.
This has truth, grit.
Do you want to sacrifice that
for a Hollywood cliche?
Well, when you put it
like that...
Well, think
of your own life, Ed.
It's just not
very realistic, is it?
What isn't?
The ending.
I don't get you, Mr. Haynes.
Well, take you and Heather.
Okay.
lnnocent flirtation
is one thing,
but we both know
that relationship
isn't going anywhere.
Not seriously.
And why is that,
Mr. Haynes?
Well, you come from
entirely different
backgrounds.
It's in there, Ed.
Except for the ending.
In the end, the shaman
returns to his people
without the girl.
Sadder, but wiser,
and ready to become
a great leader.
I don't know
if I can change the ending
of my script, Mr. Haynes.
Look, I want to
make your movie, Ed.
But we need to understand
each other first.
The shaman
does not get the girl.
Now if you're ready
to accept my changes,
I'm ready to write out
a check today.
If not...
Well...
Think it over.
Feel like gyros?
Yeah, that sounds great.
Hey, April, listen,
I'm gonna meet you
over there.
Why don't you, get us
some grape leaves
and I'll be a minute.
Sure.
Hey. Guess I'm
a little rusty, huh?
Yeah, well...
You're using too much wrist.
You know, it's throwing off
your rhythm.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Definitely.
More arm, less wrist.
Why don't you put
your knee lnto it?
A little bend
and get that ball
and your backswing. Here.
Okay.
Okay, keep it higher.
Higher.
There.
That's good.
That is?
Yeah.
I hope onion rings
are all right.
They were out of fries.
Hey, Bob!
Hey, Chris.
Hey!
Just giving Maggie
some pointers.
Okay. Great.
Would you care to join us?
I've got plenty of rings.
No. I gotta go.
See you.
I'll see you.
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
Seat taken?
She hasn't
come down all day.
Won't even talk to me.
Is that how a marriage ends?
Not with a bang,
but with a whimper?
You know, yesterday,
I would've said I was
a happily married man.
But now?
I'm sitting in a crummy bar
in a cruddy town
in the middle of nowhere.
No wife, no money,
no future!
It's all turned to crap.
And why?
Because of bowling.
An alleged
recreational activity
that requires
no physical skill or strategy
whatsoever.
I've lost my entire life
to the sport of imbeciles.
I know how you feel.
The other day,
I was working a trap line
on the Green River.
Fell through the ice
right up to my waist.
Nearly froze to death.
That's not the same thing.
It isn't?
I hate him! I hate him,
I hate him, I hate him!
I guess he just doesn't think
we're a very good match.
He is such a control freak.
I mean, do I have
my own life or not?
At least he liked the script.
Daddy wouldn't know
a good script if it bit him
in the butt.
You know what
his favorite move is? Ghost.
(EXCLAIMS)
He did the same thing
when I was going out
with Todd McKelvey.
What?
Daddy offered him a motorcycle
if he'd dump me.
Red Kawasaki?
My folks are having
major company tonight.
We'll crash it.
You know, hold hands,
real kissy-poo.
Oh, and I'll wear
those grungy jeans I have
with the holes
in the knees.
Daddy hates those.
I don't know if that's
such a good idea, Heather.
Oh, what do you mean?
It's an absolutely great idea.
Well, yeah. But maybe
we should just
try talking to him.
You can't talk to my dad.
He's a caveman.
Besides
this is more fun.
Yeah, but we're just
gonna make him mad, Heather.
So what? He needs to know
he can't control my life.
Oh, but...
Well, I mean,
we need to tell him
about us, too, right?
What?
You know, that we're steady.
That we're serious
about each other.
Oh, right. Sure.
I knew this was coming.
It was only
a matter of time.
Really?
Are you kidding?
Me going out
with Ed Chigliak? Oh!
I'm surprised he put up
with it this long.
You've the latest
Soundgarden, right?
Heavy metal
drives him up the wall.
No, wait!
Rap. He hates that even more.
Snoop Doggy Dogg. Yes!
CHRIS ON RADIO:
Hey, there, sports fans.
Chris in the Morning
with a late-breaking
bowling update.
Despite rumors
of reconciliation,
the team
of Doc and Michelle Capra
will not be competing
at the mixed doubles
invitational
in Cantwell today.
That's right.
The last-minute scratch
deals a serious blow
to the Cicely Sweethearts'
chances
of retaining
the doubles title,
but team spirits remain high.
Says manager Ruth-Anne Miller,
„We may be going down,
but we're doing it
with our wristbands on!”
All right!
Knock 'em down, Sweethearts!
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
PHIL: Michelle?
We need to bowl.
What?
Those are our friends
out there and they're
counting on us.
Two days ago,
you said...
Yeah, I know,
two days ago we both said
a lot of things, okay.
But, this isn't about us.
This is
about commitment, all right.
About belonging to a team.
Now whatever problems
you and I are experiencing,
it just shouldn't matter.
The Oakland A's
won the World Series
three years In a row.
'72 to '7 4
they hated each other.
The point is
they were a team
and our team needs us.
They need you, Michelle.
Besides, it's not healthy
for you to just stay in here
all day.
You need some fresh air.
You need outside contact.
Hey, we don't even
have to talk
if you don't want to,
but we need to bowl.
I'll get the Hammer.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Yes!
CHRIS: You didn't get
those two pins?
Oh!
Not bad.
Come on, Marsha!
You can do it!
MAN: Marsha, come on!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yes!
Yeah!
I messed up.
WOMAN: It's all right.
That's pathetic!
What?
What? You didn't see that?
Looks pretty good to me.
Oh, come on.
This guy doesn't
put the ball down
in the same place twice.
(ALL CHEERING)
He's lucky.
Very good!
Earl, you're up!
Mr. Haynes.
Ed.
Heather's at
her riding lesson.
I came to see you,
Mr. Haynes.
Well, come in.
I gather you and Heather
had a little disagreement
last night.
She was expecting you
for dinner.
Well, I don't think
I'll be having too many
more dinners, Mr. Haynes.
Oh, why is that?
Well, for one thing,
Heather and I aren't going
steady anymore.
And for another thing,
I've decided that I don't want
you to produce my movie.
Now don't get me wrong,
I appreciate your interest
and everything.
I even took
a few of your notes.
I just don't think I can make
a film with someone
who doesn't think
I'm good enough
for his daughter.
No. You're twisting
my words, Ed.
I was talking
long-term compatibility.
There was no value
judgment involved.
Whatever.
Frankly, I'm confused, Ed.
If you and Heather
are through,
I don't see
what's to stop us
from proceeding.
Yeah.
Well, thanks anyway,
Mr. Haynes.
Oh, Mr. Haynes,
I think you and your daughter
ought to have
a little talk sometime.
106, Philip.
That's your best game yet.
Looking good.
Yeah, I'm starting to
get the rhythm, I think.
By my count,
we're only 18 pins
behind Sitka.
One game to go, sweetheart.
It's up to you.
Okay.
Do it, Michelle.
So what do you think?
Think about what?
Coming home.
I need time, Phil.
Come on, Capra!
Get the ball moving!
I'm sorry.
MAN: Come back!
Come back! Come back!
(ALL CHEERING)
I picked up
the seven pin.
Hmm?
I got the spare.
Oh, hey! All right. Great.
Let's see, what was
your first ball?
Here, let me.
(ALL CHEERING)
Chris, this has gotta stop.
What?
I'm not blind, Chris.
I can see what's going on.
You don't want to
bowl with me.
You want to bowl with her.
Huh?
You haven't taken your eyes
off Maggie since the moment
we got here.
Well, look, April,
you know...
We always said
we'd be honest
with each other.
I won't hold you back.
And I can't keep
bowling with someone
who's not there.
Hey, we're partners.
You and me, okay?
Partners change.
Go.
Watch this strike.
(ALL CHEERING)
CHRIS ON RADIO:
It was a nail-biter
to the end, folks,
but Michelle Schowdoski Capra
came through
with a 267 in the final game
to put your local heroes
over the top by three points.
Unscrew
those winecaps, Cicely.
Your sweethearts
are champs again!
Ed?
Hi, Maurice.
I didn't know
you were here.
Still had the keys.
Well, what about your movie?
Oh, that fell through.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Ed.
That's okay, Maurice.
What? What's the matter?
Oh, Maurice, you know
that crystal globe thing
you had sitting
on that bookshelf
by the Britannicas?
Yeah, my NASA commemorative.
Where is it?
It's right there.
I was turning to
dust the bookshelf,
you know...
I'm sorry, Maurice.
Ah, that's okay.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
(SOBBING)
Maurice! I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry, Maurice.
Oh, Maurice...
It's okay.
It was great.
So,
what do you do around here
when you're not being jilted?
I'm not sure.
Hmm?
What?
Did you say something?
No.
I thought
you said something.
Exposure and assassination.
You see, Mr. Fandio,
she's one of our agents.
Oh, no.
I know you didn't
mean it,
but I'm afraid you have
put her in an extremely
dangerous situation.
Great shot.
Notice how Hitch pushes in
and then throws the light
on him.
(DOOR OPENS)
LESTER: I just finished
the entertainment center.
A Mitsubishi, big screen.
Maurice,
you know my daughter.
Hi, Mr. Minnifield.
Heather, Ed.
Maurice.
Oh, I'm gonna do
the sump pump
first thing tomorrow.
Is it digital?
No, THX, just like
at the Four-plex.
Oh, you should see
Top Gun on this, Maurice.
Six speakers, surround-sound.
It's just like being down
on the carrier deck.
lmagine that.
LESTER:
Well, come on, Maurice.
I'm sure the espresso's ready.
Enjoy yourselves
and try to remember
the coasters next time.
Yes, Daddy.
MAN ON TV:
Just a second, you.
WOMAN ON TV:
Stay away from me. Let me go.
Let go of me.
Ed.
Stay away from me!
Let go! Let go!
Shouldn't we get
coasters or something?
(CHUCKLES)
Ed.
MAN ON TV:
Oh, you little fool.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
CHRIS ON RADIO: Hey, Cicely,
Chris in the Morning
bringing you another hour
of home-cooked karma.
Coming at you
through the miracle
of modern technology,
namely my trusty
Ampex reel-to-reel.
Why the out-of-body
experience?
Get serious, sports fans,
it's bowling time!
Your hometown keglers,
the Cicely Sweethearts,
defend
their championship title
next Saturday
at the annual borough
of arrowhead mixed doubles
invitational.
We're practicing all week
at Mary Jane's Lanes
in Cantwell,
so pack up the kids,
grab your Brunswick,
and come on down.
Whoa! Yeah! Baby!
Beautiful!
You like that, huh?
Very nice.
All right!
I got the next round.
Okay.
Nice ball, Hayden.
Right in the pocket.
Hey, how come you're not
bowling this year?
Oh, you know.
Fleischman and I
used to be a team,
sort of, not that
he was any good.
Mr. Seven-ten split
and whined a lot.
Anyway, Ruth-Anne
asked me to keep score, so...
Well, you know
what they say.
Life throws you a gutter ball,
you gotta slap on
the old rosin bag,
and step up to the line.
Hey, Hayden,
did you pick up the nine pin?
No.
Next time.
Hey, Chris, you're up.
Okay.
I want to see you
get back in the game.
I mean it.
Thanks.
Okay, Michelle,
knock 'em down!
(ALL CHEERING)
Four in a row!
Yeah.
That babe can bowl!
Hey, Philip, mon ami,
you've been
holding out on us!
She's pretty good, huh?
Good? I haven't seen
a woman crank it up like that
since Esther Johanssen
retired her ball
two years ago.
Find one you like, honey?
Yeah. I think so.
The other one
was giving me
a little blister.
These shoes are pinching,
though, you know?
I'm really glad we did this.
Thanks for talking
me into it, sweetie.
HOLLING: Hey, Phil!
I'm up.
Yeah.
Steady as she goes, Doc.
Try to stay out
of the gutter this time.
LESTER: Steady.
Well done, Ed!
Anacleto.
Thank you, Mr. Haynes.
I enjoy a good hunt.
Yeah.
Keeps one in touch
with tribal values.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, how do you like
your veal, Ed?
A little pink?
Oh, pink is good.
Pellegrino, okay?
Fine.
Say, I really appreciate you
bringing me along, Mr. Haynes.
Hey, it was a pleasure, Ed.
Lemon? Lime?
So, tell me,
how's the film business
these days?
It's kind of
on the backburner right now,
Mr. Haynes.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, I have
a script, you know,
making the rounds in L.A .
Couple nibbles,
but it's kind of hard
when you're not there
to press the flesh as it were.
Well, you know,
I always wondered
what would it take
to produce
something like that.
I read stories
in the Wall Street Journal.
What? Eight, nine million?
Oh, no. It'd be more like
$500,000, Mr. Haynes.
'Course Quentin Tarantino
spent two million
on Reservoir Dogs,
but I don't have nearly
as many bullets as he did.
$500,000?
Say, could I read
this script of yours?
Oh, sure. Why?
Well, I just might have
a proposition for you.
Really?
After all,
entertainment software is
the wave of the future.
Up till now,
the right opportunity just
hasn't presented itself.
Well, I think you'd like
this script, Mr. Haynes.
It's called The Shaman,
and it's all about this shaman
who has to choose
between his tribe
and the big city.
There's a love story in it,
fair amount of jeopardy
and pace, too.
Well, which, of course,
could be dialed up
if you felt like it wasn't
enough or something.
Well, say, why don't you
drop it by this evening?
And I'll read it tonight.
Great!
All right.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Come on. Trollope was a bore.
Are you kidding?
No.
Trollope's greatness was
his complete appreciation
of the usual.
Where'd you hear that?
Henry James.
Oh, there's high praise.
Trollope shows us
the people of his time.
It's like a window
on another world.
And don't overlook
the satirical value.
The Barsetshire Novels,
full of satire.
(SlGHlNG)
What?
You should re-read
The Warden, Chris.
It's a lot of fun.
Yeah, okay.
Sure.
Where'd you get
that great spin on the ball?
Oh, it was my sophomore year
of high school.
Lenny Valdez.
My parents nearly died
when I went out with him.
RUTH-ANNE: Trouble, huh?
He was two years older,
had an accent
and drove a low-rider.
Oh yeah!
You bet!
Oh, we had some
good times, though.
A lot of late nights
at the Strike 'N Spare.
You never told me about him.
Oh, didn't I?
No.
You mean you haven't bowled
since high school?
Well, you know,
college, nobody bowled.
It wasn't exactly
something you bragged about.
Hell, I'd brag about it.
You picked up
that eight-ten split,
I said to Ruth-Anne,
„This gal's taking us
to the top!”
Oh, I'll try.
I thought you dusted
every Tuesday.
What?
I said those shelves
are an abomination.
I'll do 'em tomorrow,
Maurice.
Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Well, I gotta pick Heather up
in 15 Minutes.
Tell her you'll be late.
Oh, I can't do that,
Maurice.
She's on her way back
from dance class.
Look, son,
where I come from
it's work first,
and play later.
Oh.
I'll put in an extra hour
tomorrow, Maurice, I promise.
Oh, I can't.
I forgot, we're going shopping
over in Sitka tomorrow.
You're seeing an awful lot
of this gal, aren't you?
Yeah, I am.
Well...
Take a piece of advice.
I'd back off, if I were you.
Oh, why is that?
Because you don't want
to get too involved.
Oh.
Look, son,
you've got a lot of options
in your future,
but, Heather Haynes
ain't one of 'em.
Oh, why is that, Maurice?
Why? Well...
How am I gonna put this?
You fly in different flocks,
sometimes opposites
attract but...
Maurice, Heather and I
happen to really
like each other.
Well, liking's fine,
as long as that's
as far as it goes.
I'm only looking out
for your own best interests,
son.
Oh, no, you're not!
You're just mad
because I've been spending
so much time over there.
Ed, do you think
that Lester Haynes
raised his only daughter,
sent her to
Cantwell Country Day,
junior year at Barcelona
to end up
with Ed Chigliak?
Look, that didn't come out
quite the way
I wanted it to, Ed, but...
I gotta go now, Maurice.
Ed, look, I didn't mean...
ED: Oh!
What do you think?
You look good.
Are you kidding?
It's fabulous.
You really like
the Donna Karan?
Which one was that?
The red.
Oh, definitely.
Heather?
Hmm?
I was wondering
if you'd like to go steady?
Go steady?
That's kind of
an old-fashioned concept,
isn't it, Ed?
Oh, well, we could call it
whatever you wanted.
What I just mean something,
you know, to let people know
we're serious
about each other.
Well, like, you know,
if you could...
If you could just
wear this around your neck.
Okay.
Oh, really?
Sure.
Oh, great!
Here you go.
You're so funny sometimes.
Here we go.
CHRIS: One more, please.
What's going on, Chris?
Maggie needs a new partner
and I'm having try-outs,
Ruth-Anne.
One more, please.
Okay
I notice that you're favoring
your left side. Recent injury?
No, just my style, I guess.
Married?
Was.
Ever bowl mixed doubles?
Nope.
Last book read?
The Sum of All Fears
by Tom Clancy.
Any past life experiences
or O.O .B .s you might want
to tell me about?
Out-of-body occurrences?
Not really.
If chosen, you'll have to
cover your own shirt
and lane expenses.
That gonna be a problem?
No.
Okay, thank you.
We'll be in touch.
Next.
Good luck.
Orders of the day.
You can start
with the composter.
What's this?
„Due to prevailing
circumstances,
effective immediately,
I will no longer be available
for employment.”
You mean
you're giving notice?
I think it's time
I moved on, Maurice.
Moved on where?
To other opportunities.
Look, son,
I used a poor choice of words.
This whole thing
with Heather's
got you bumfuzzled, son.
Why don't you take
a couple of days off?
Lester's gonna produce
my movie.
Oh, is that a fact?
He believes in me, Maurice.
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
It means he supports
what I'm doing.
And I don't?
Look, son,
I've been supporting you
since you were 1 2 years old.
That's not enough
support for you?
Maurice, all you think
I'm good for
is dusting your shelves
and sweeping your floors.
Now that is not true!
I gave you the full budget
for the Cicely film festival
and you pissed it away.
A man has got to earn
his opportunities, Ed.
Where I come from...
Yeah, Maurice, I'm sick
of where you come from!
You're wrong about
Lester and you know what?
You're wrong about me, too!
Hey, Maggie,
do you remember Bob Pickering,
archeology professor
at UA Fairbanks?
Fleischman's mammoth, right?
The alleged
Fleischman's mammoth.
Right.
It's just another
in a long line of famous
„no-fossil” cases.
You mind if we sit down?
Go ahead.
You know, Bob's in the area
doing some field research.
See, I'm checking Altithermals
in the Pleistocene Period.
(EXCLAIMS)
Yeah, not to mention
he's a league bowler.
190 average.
No kidding.
What can I say?
I grew up in Milwaukee.
Oh.
Well, listen, we need
a pair of alternate bowlers
on the team
so I thought you and Bob
could maybe team up.
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, nothing
personal at all.
She's not interested...
Hey... You don't have to
do anything.
Just bowl.
Just see if there's a basic
bowling compatibility there.
Hey, Maggie,
you wanna bowl.
You know you do.
Well, yeah, but...
Well, you sure
you don't mind?
Oh, it beats looking
at fossilized rodent remains
every night.
Oh! Well...
Okay. I guess
it wouldn't hurt.
Well, all right. Cool.
I'll get us a round.
MICHELLE:
What do you think, Phil?
The blue or the brown?
Blue.
Really?
I kind of like the brown.
Then go with the brown.
I think I will.
You know, honey, I don't think
this whole bowling thing
is really for me.
What do you mean?
Well, don't get me wrong.
I think it's great
that you've gotten into it
and everything,
and you should keep
bowling if you want to,
but maybe we ought to
get you another partner.
Well, why?
I want to bowl with you.
That's why we signed up
in the first place,
to do something together.
Yeah, I'm just not
really enjoying it,
that's all.
Oh.
You know what it is?
I'll tell you.
It's those shoes.
Oh, what?
Oh, gee.
I have always
hated bowling shoes.
You know,
the green and then the red
and the blue.
They're like
Bozo the Clown shoes.
And that's not the worst part.
The worst part is you gotta
put your feet in these things
that have been rented out
continuously
since the Eisenhower
administration.
Hey, have you ever seen
a new pair of bowling shoes?
I don't think they exist.
They're like VWs.
They just get recycled.
We're talking magnets
for fungal infection.
You're joking, right?
Oh, no, they don't disinfect
those things.
They just put 'em
right back up on the shelves.
I am sure we can find you
your own pair, Phil.
Oh, no. No, count me out!
Hey, it took me
three years to get
my first pair of ski boots,
and that's something I love.
I'm certainly not gonna
spend 50 bucks or whatever
on a pair of clown shoes
I intend to use once
and never wear again.
Let me understand this.
You don't want to bowl
because of the shoes?
Can I wear my tennis shoes?
'Cause if I can
wear my Nikes...
You know you can't wear
tennis shoes, Phil.
You need
the leather soles to slide.
And you can't
bowl in your socks, either.
Tell the truth. You just
don't want to bowl, period.
Well, that's not
really true.
Yes, it is!
Okay! Okay!
Is that such a crime?
I admit it, all right!
I feel like an idiot up there.
But listen, if that doesn't
matter to you,
I'll do it, okay?
Fine. I'll bowl.
Don't bother.
Oh, what are you mad about?
I'm just being honest.
Yeah. Right.
Can I help it
if I don't like it?
What do you want from me?
How about a little support?
I'm being very supportive.
I didn't say
you shouldn't bowl.
This isn't
about bowling, Phil.
What are you talking about?
It's about bowling.
It's only about bowling.
Well,
if that's what you think,
then maybe you're right!
Maybe I do need
another partner!
What? Michelle!
Michelle, come on!
You're being ridiculous.
You're just jealous, Phil!
PHIL: I don't believe this!
We're arguing because
you think I'm jealous
of your bowling ability?
I knew
you were insecure, Phil.
I just never knew
how deep it went.
This is nuts!
I should've seen this
a long time ago.
Seen what?
Michelle, you're making
so much more out of this
than you have to.
Will you come on
out of the car? Michelle!
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
You're not going
anywhere, Michelle!
Take it out of gear!
Don't drive away! Michelle!
Michelle!
Strange but true, Cicely,
bowling started in church.
Seems certain
athletically-inclined
parishioners in Germany,
around 200 A.D .,
would roll a stone
down the aisle
and knock over a club
representing the devil.
From there, it was just a hop,
skip and a jump
to bowling for dollars.
Weird, huh?
It's 9.50 out of 10.
Thank you.
WOMAN: Bye, Ruth-Anne.
Can I help you, Maurice?
Huh?
Oh...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Ed left this over
at the house...
I should've repaired that.
Anyway, could you
see that he gets this?
Be glad to.
Thanks.
Ruth-Anne,
would you also ask him
what he wants me to do
with his share of the salmon
we got on that last trip?
It was quite a bit of fish.
We had a good trip!
It's no problem
if he wants me to keep it
in my freezer,
but if he'd prefer,
I'll transfer it
over to Holling's.
He told me what happened,
Maurice.
What you said
and what he said.
I know you were
only trying to help.
It's no skin off my nose.
I mean, I've been
supporting the kid
since he was this high.
Kind of a burden
off my shoulders.
Philip.
What can I get for you?
Oh, uh...
Just a cup of coffee, thanks.
I understand
Michelle is staying upstairs.
Yeah. She asked
if she could use
the spare room for a while.
Well, I think „a while” is
probably pushing it, Holling.
She'll be coming home
real soon.
She gave me money
for the entire week.
On the other hand,
it's probably a good idea
to get a little break
from each other
every now and then,
you know, it's healthy.
Couldn't agree more.
She didn't say anything,
did she?
No. Well, she did ask
if the meals
come with the room.
They don't.
Hey, Doc,
are you and the missus
still in the tournament,
since the split?
What?
We haven't split, Hayden.
We just had
a little argument, that's all.
Happily married couples
do that, you know.
And I'd appreciate you
keeping your nose
out of my personal business,
if that's all right with you.
Just asking.
I should probably go
talk to her, huh?
She's just up the stairs.
MICHELLE: Who is it?
It's me.
I don't want to
talk right now, Phil.
Well, could you
at least open the door?
Hey.
Look, about last night...
Things got
a little out of hand.
We both said things.
This is for you.
It's a new bowling ball.
It's a Hammer.
They tell me it's the best.
Blue pearlized urethane.
You just bring it in
to the pro shop in Cantwell,
they'll drill it for you.
Thanks.
I drove over there
myself this morning.
Had to borrow
Maurice's four-by.
Log truck blew a tire
in front of me on Route 6,
I nearly got splattered!
This is what we do,
isn't it?
We fight and then
we buy each other
bowling balls.
This is the first bowling ball
I've bought you, Michelle.
Ever.
And there you go.
Where? There I go where?
Missing the point.
(STAMMERING)
What is your point, Michelle?
I mean, what do you want
me to say?
Do you want me
to say I'm sorry?
I'm sorry. Okay?
I don't know what I did,
but I'm sorry.
Look, if you don't want
the ball, just give it to me.
I'll return it.
I don't know
what I want, Phil.
Look...
How about
bowling practice today?
I can't bowl, Phil.
I don't know how
you can even suggest it.
Mr. Haynes?
Ed. Come in.
Have a seat.
Listen, you want
some coffee or juice?
Oh, that's okay.
Listen, I've taken the liberty
of drawing up
a preliminary budget.
Great.
And I bow
to your expertise, Ed,
but based on a 25-day-shoot,
I...
I think we can bring this in
at under $400,000.
Can you do it
in 25 days?
Oh, absolutely.
Well, good. Have a seat.
Of course, I do have
one or two notes.
Sure.
Listen,
I read that script
three times now, Ed,
and you've created
a brilliant premise,
which is why I find
the ending
such a disappointment.
Oh, but the shaman
gets the girl.
Exactly.
I don't follow you,
Mr. Haynes.
Well, you've painted a picture
of two different cultures, Ed,
two different worlds, really.
On one hand, a Native American
from a small fishing village,
on the other,
a sophisticated girl
from the city.
Do you really think
two such people
could find
lasting happiness together?
Well, of course, you know,
Richard Gere and Julia Roberts
they did it in Pretty Woman.
Dudley Moore,
Liza Minnelli, Arthur,
Johnny Weissmuller,
Maureen O'Hara in Tarzan.
Those are fantasy, Ed.
This has truth, grit.
Do you want to sacrifice that
for a Hollywood cliche?
Well, when you put it
like that...
Well, think
of your own life, Ed.
It's just not
very realistic, is it?
What isn't?
The ending.
I don't get you, Mr. Haynes.
Well, take you and Heather.
Okay.
lnnocent flirtation
is one thing,
but we both know
that relationship
isn't going anywhere.
Not seriously.
And why is that,
Mr. Haynes?
Well, you come from
entirely different
backgrounds.
It's in there, Ed.
Except for the ending.
In the end, the shaman
returns to his people
without the girl.
Sadder, but wiser,
and ready to become
a great leader.
I don't know
if I can change the ending
of my script, Mr. Haynes.
Look, I want to
make your movie, Ed.
But we need to understand
each other first.
The shaman
does not get the girl.
Now if you're ready
to accept my changes,
I'm ready to write out
a check today.
If not...
Well...
Think it over.
Feel like gyros?
Yeah, that sounds great.
Hey, April, listen,
I'm gonna meet you
over there.
Why don't you, get us
some grape leaves
and I'll be a minute.
Sure.
Hey. Guess I'm
a little rusty, huh?
Yeah, well...
You're using too much wrist.
You know, it's throwing off
your rhythm.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Definitely.
More arm, less wrist.
Why don't you put
your knee lnto it?
A little bend
and get that ball
and your backswing. Here.
Okay.
Okay, keep it higher.
Higher.
There.
That's good.
That is?
Yeah.
I hope onion rings
are all right.
They were out of fries.
Hey, Bob!
Hey, Chris.
Hey!
Just giving Maggie
some pointers.
Okay. Great.
Would you care to join us?
I've got plenty of rings.
No. I gotta go.
See you.
I'll see you.
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
Seat taken?
She hasn't
come down all day.
Won't even talk to me.
Is that how a marriage ends?
Not with a bang,
but with a whimper?
You know, yesterday,
I would've said I was
a happily married man.
But now?
I'm sitting in a crummy bar
in a cruddy town
in the middle of nowhere.
No wife, no money,
no future!
It's all turned to crap.
And why?
Because of bowling.
An alleged
recreational activity
that requires
no physical skill or strategy
whatsoever.
I've lost my entire life
to the sport of imbeciles.
I know how you feel.
The other day,
I was working a trap line
on the Green River.
Fell through the ice
right up to my waist.
Nearly froze to death.
That's not the same thing.
It isn't?
I hate him! I hate him,
I hate him, I hate him!
I guess he just doesn't think
we're a very good match.
He is such a control freak.
I mean, do I have
my own life or not?
At least he liked the script.
Daddy wouldn't know
a good script if it bit him
in the butt.
You know what
his favorite move is? Ghost.
(EXCLAIMS)
He did the same thing
when I was going out
with Todd McKelvey.
What?
Daddy offered him a motorcycle
if he'd dump me.
Red Kawasaki?
My folks are having
major company tonight.
We'll crash it.
You know, hold hands,
real kissy-poo.
Oh, and I'll wear
those grungy jeans I have
with the holes
in the knees.
Daddy hates those.
I don't know if that's
such a good idea, Heather.
Oh, what do you mean?
It's an absolutely great idea.
Well, yeah. But maybe
we should just
try talking to him.
You can't talk to my dad.
He's a caveman.
Besides
this is more fun.
Yeah, but we're just
gonna make him mad, Heather.
So what? He needs to know
he can't control my life.
Oh, but...
Well, I mean,
we need to tell him
about us, too, right?
What?
You know, that we're steady.
That we're serious
about each other.
Oh, right. Sure.
I knew this was coming.
It was only
a matter of time.
Really?
Are you kidding?
Me going out
with Ed Chigliak? Oh!
I'm surprised he put up
with it this long.
You've the latest
Soundgarden, right?
Heavy metal
drives him up the wall.
No, wait!
Rap. He hates that even more.
Snoop Doggy Dogg. Yes!
CHRIS ON RADIO:
Hey, there, sports fans.
Chris in the Morning
with a late-breaking
bowling update.
Despite rumors
of reconciliation,
the team
of Doc and Michelle Capra
will not be competing
at the mixed doubles
invitational
in Cantwell today.
That's right.
The last-minute scratch
deals a serious blow
to the Cicely Sweethearts'
chances
of retaining
the doubles title,
but team spirits remain high.
Says manager Ruth-Anne Miller,
„We may be going down,
but we're doing it
with our wristbands on!”
All right!
Knock 'em down, Sweethearts!
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
PHIL: Michelle?
We need to bowl.
What?
Those are our friends
out there and they're
counting on us.
Two days ago,
you said...
Yeah, I know,
two days ago we both said
a lot of things, okay.
But, this isn't about us.
This is
about commitment, all right.
About belonging to a team.
Now whatever problems
you and I are experiencing,
it just shouldn't matter.
The Oakland A's
won the World Series
three years In a row.
'72 to '7 4
they hated each other.
The point is
they were a team
and our team needs us.
They need you, Michelle.
Besides, it's not healthy
for you to just stay in here
all day.
You need some fresh air.
You need outside contact.
Hey, we don't even
have to talk
if you don't want to,
but we need to bowl.
I'll get the Hammer.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Yes!
CHRIS: You didn't get
those two pins?
Oh!
Not bad.
Come on, Marsha!
You can do it!
MAN: Marsha, come on!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yes!
Yeah!
I messed up.
WOMAN: It's all right.
That's pathetic!
What?
What? You didn't see that?
Looks pretty good to me.
Oh, come on.
This guy doesn't
put the ball down
in the same place twice.
(ALL CHEERING)
He's lucky.
Very good!
Earl, you're up!
Mr. Haynes.
Ed.
Heather's at
her riding lesson.
I came to see you,
Mr. Haynes.
Well, come in.
I gather you and Heather
had a little disagreement
last night.
She was expecting you
for dinner.
Well, I don't think
I'll be having too many
more dinners, Mr. Haynes.
Oh, why is that?
Well, for one thing,
Heather and I aren't going
steady anymore.
And for another thing,
I've decided that I don't want
you to produce my movie.
Now don't get me wrong,
I appreciate your interest
and everything.
I even took
a few of your notes.
I just don't think I can make
a film with someone
who doesn't think
I'm good enough
for his daughter.
No. You're twisting
my words, Ed.
I was talking
long-term compatibility.
There was no value
judgment involved.
Whatever.
Frankly, I'm confused, Ed.
If you and Heather
are through,
I don't see
what's to stop us
from proceeding.
Yeah.
Well, thanks anyway,
Mr. Haynes.
Oh, Mr. Haynes,
I think you and your daughter
ought to have
a little talk sometime.
106, Philip.
That's your best game yet.
Looking good.
Yeah, I'm starting to
get the rhythm, I think.
By my count,
we're only 18 pins
behind Sitka.
One game to go, sweetheart.
It's up to you.
Okay.
Do it, Michelle.
So what do you think?
Think about what?
Coming home.
I need time, Phil.
Come on, Capra!
Get the ball moving!
I'm sorry.
MAN: Come back!
Come back! Come back!
(ALL CHEERING)
I picked up
the seven pin.
Hmm?
I got the spare.
Oh, hey! All right. Great.
Let's see, what was
your first ball?
Here, let me.
(ALL CHEERING)
Chris, this has gotta stop.
What?
I'm not blind, Chris.
I can see what's going on.
You don't want to
bowl with me.
You want to bowl with her.
Huh?
You haven't taken your eyes
off Maggie since the moment
we got here.
Well, look, April,
you know...
We always said
we'd be honest
with each other.
I won't hold you back.
And I can't keep
bowling with someone
who's not there.
Hey, we're partners.
You and me, okay?
Partners change.
Go.
Watch this strike.
(ALL CHEERING)
CHRIS ON RADIO:
It was a nail-biter
to the end, folks,
but Michelle Schowdoski Capra
came through
with a 267 in the final game
to put your local heroes
over the top by three points.
Unscrew
those winecaps, Cicely.
Your sweethearts
are champs again!
Ed?
Hi, Maurice.
I didn't know
you were here.
Still had the keys.
Well, what about your movie?
Oh, that fell through.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Ed.
That's okay, Maurice.
What? What's the matter?
Oh, Maurice, you know
that crystal globe thing
you had sitting
on that bookshelf
by the Britannicas?
Yeah, my NASA commemorative.
Where is it?
It's right there.
I was turning to
dust the bookshelf,
you know...
I'm sorry, Maurice.
Ah, that's okay.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
(SOBBING)
Maurice! I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry, Maurice.
Oh, Maurice...
It's okay.
It was great.
So,
what do you do around here
when you're not being jilted?
I'm not sure.
Hmm?
What?
Did you say something?
No.
I thought
you said something.