Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 6, Episode 11 - The Great Mushroom - full transcript
Maggie visits Joel up river for his birthday & fears for his life; too many people show up for the Capra's party & a stranded couple spend the night; Ed overcomes his fear of his computer.
(BlRD CAWlNG)
Go, Duff.
Go get him.
Go get him.
(DUFF BARKlNG)
(GUN FlRES)
Oh, damn.
(DUFF BARKlNG)
Oh.
(SLUSH GURGLlNG)
Hey, Duff!
Duff, here!
Come on, boy, come on.
Hey, hey!
Duff! Duff, here!
Duff, pull me out!
Duff, pull! Pull! Pull!
Duff, pull! Take it!
Take the stick!
Come here! Duffy!
Come here! Come here!
Duffy! Duffy!
(GASPS)
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
MAGGlE:
Actually, Fleischman's been
on my mind lately, you know,
so l thought, ''Hey,
with his birthday coming up,
''that might just be
a good time to go
see how he's doing."
Maggie you want
another rose right here?
Yeah, all right.
The thing is, l don't know
if he's gonna want to see me,
Holling.
l mean, after all,
l'm the one
that threw him out
of the house
and everything.
But the thing is,
l'm worried about him.
Worried?
Yeah, l'm concerned,
l mean, if he's doing
all right, you know.
Oh, you mean because
all your other boyfriends
died such an untimely death?
Well, yeah,
there is that.
But l don't know, l just feel
like l bare a certain amount
of responsibility
l mean, after all,
l'm the one that
drove him up river,
l'm the one
that wanted to break up.
So if he's miserable
and hell bent
on self-destruction
then l'm partially at fault,
you know.
What do you think?
''Happy birthday, Jeel''?
That's O,
O-E, Joel.
lt kind of looks
like an E.
No, no, that's an O,
O-E, Joel.
Okay. Well,
it's great, thanks.
Ruth-Anne said
the Sichuan peppercorns
didn't come in
with our order.
So l thought snap peas
would work instead
for the Mu Shu Lamb.
Did you get
the hoisin sauce?
Because, you know,
Pacific Rim cuisine
is nothing but Cantonese
without the hoisin sauce.
Here.
Thank God.
Maggie O'Connell called,
she can't make it.
She has to go
out of town.
Oh, so what are we at then?
Twelve? Twelve, even.
Yeah. Actually,
l'm relieved.
l was worried we wouldn't
have enough Shumai.
Oh, you got a letter.
lt was originally addressed
to our house on Waverly.
Waverly?
That was three years ago.
(CLEARS THROAT)
lt's been forwarded
all over the place.
l didn't realize
we'd moved so much.
''Seasons greetings.
Best wishes
for the new year.
''Love, cousin Connie."
Who's cousin Connie?
l don't know.
Uncle Dave's daughter?
l don't remember.
Well, it'll be nice
to have people over
for a change.
We've been spending
so much time alone lately.
Oh, not that that's bad.
l mean,
l love spending time
alone with you.
No, no, l know
what you mean, sweetie.
lt's just we used to have
so much more activities
in LA,
you know, like...
Thank you.
Wine and cheese tastings,
and tennis clinic.
Yeah. The new
playwright's series,
cooking class.
Right.
l don't miss it all,
you know, but still.
Yeah, yeah, still.
MAGGlE: Are you sure
this is the right place?
l mean, is this where
Fleischman lives?
GUlDE: Yes,
this is his place. Here.
l'll take that.
Oh, be careful, that,
that's a birthday cake.
Okay?
Okay.
Well, l guess if you wanted
to get away from it all,
this would be the place
to do it, huh?
Oh, thanks.
GUlDE: lf you need
anything else,
let me know.
Hey, excuse me, do you
happen to know where he is?
Over there.
Fleischman?
Hey! O'Connell!
Good morning,
Mr. Abbot.
Hi, Doc.
How are those
shingles doing?
Why don't you
roll up your sleeves?
We'll take a look.
l know they can be
very discomforting.
Well, they're gone.
Yeah.
Two days ago your arms
were covered with vesicles.
ls there any residual pain?
No.
Herpes zoster usually runs
a two-week course.
This is amazing.
Really amazing.
l'm sorry, Dr. Capra.
Sorry?
Sorry about what?
l went to Ed.
Ed Chigliak,
he's a healer, you know.
Tanya McAllister said
he cured her
when she had shingles,
so l went to him.
Ed treated you?
He gave you something
for shingles?
Ointment.
l'm really sorry,
believe me,
it didn't mean a thing.
l still want you
to be my doctor.
Mr. Abbot, what exactly
did Ed give you?
Oh, something he made up,
he had a little left over
in a jar under the sink.
l promise
l'll never go to him again.
lncredible.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi. Welcome.
Hi.
Why didn't you tell me
you invited the Grippos?
l didn't.
They came with Walt.
They just
barged in?
What could l do?
Ask them to leave?
And then, Maurice
brings Red Murphy,
what is this,
some kind of local custom?
Come one, come all?
There's not going to be
nearly enough
Mahogany Chicken Wings.
We'll cut everything
in half and serve buffet.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
How do you cut
a chicken wing in half?
MAURlCE:
Someone's at the door.
l'll get it.
Hi.
Shelly, hi.
Ed?
ED: Evening, Mrs. Capra.
Lucky thing,
Ed was over hanging out
when it was time to go.
We didn't have to
twist his arm too much.
Oh, good, l'm glad
you decided to come, Ed.
Well, smells great in here,
Mrs. Capra.
Yeah.
Thumbs up on
the Mu Shu lamb, Doc,
but, next time,
you might eighty-six
those snap peas
and throw in some
Sichuan peppercorns.
We're about out of
pork ribs over there,
where are they,
l'll bring out some more.
Oh, that's all there is.
How many did you make?
Obviously not enough.
Excuse me, Maurice.
WOMAN: Hey,
check this out.
Oh, Ed?
Dr. Capra,
Ruth-Anne says
the ribs are
really good tonight,
but l don't
see them.
Well, have
a chicken wing.
A piece of chicken wing.
All right.
Ed, l was hoping
to get to talk to you.
What ointment did you give
Ralph Abbot?
Ralph Abbot?
Shingles.
Right.
Something l had
under the sink.
Well, what was it?
l believe it was some
kind of root pulp extract.
l'll have to check
my notes.
This is really good,
Dr. Capra.
What is that?
Cranberry sauce.
Cranberry sauce?
We had a couple of cans
in the cupboard.
Cranberry sauce
with Pacific Rim,
that's just perfect.
Phil, there's nothing else
to eat.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
l'll get it.
Marilyn!
MARlLYN: Hi.
And?
Ellie Thompson,
Warner Thompson.
Hi!
Phil Capra.
Come on in.
Hello.
Family?
Friends.
Well, enjoy.
MAGGlE: l feel terrible.
l mean, look at you.
Your hair, your clothes,
you're practically in rags.
l mean, my God,
you're living in a hut,
with a dirt floor.
Why don't you just
have a little broth?
There's no indoor plumbing.
No outdoor plumbing.
Oh, what have l
done to you?
Hey, really,
l'm very comfortable here.
You're comfortable?
Yeah.
A guy whose teeth chatter
below 70 degrees?
Who gets a bloody nose
without a humidifier?
l mean, you can't
even sleep on anything
less than
320 count percale.
My needs have changed.
Fleischman, Fleischman,
this is me you're talking to,
okay, l know you.
And you're
deluding yourself.
l mean, this has got to be
a miserable existence for you.
Why? l have everything
l need here.
l have food, l have shelter,
l have friends.
lt's simple,
l know.
l tell you,
l prefer it this way.
l get it.
l get it, you're just
putting on a good face
to make me feel better.
Oh, no.
No, really,
you don't want me
to feel guilty for having
driven you to this, right?
Listen you,
l'm grateful to you.
lf it weren't for you,
l'd be in Cicely right now,
and l'd be still running
that rat race,
l'd be still locked
in that commute,
l'd be totally stressed,
l'd be totally ignorant
of what my life could be.
l mean, the truth is,
l'm happier now than
l've ever been in my life.
Ever.
Really?
Really?
l had a wonderful time.
Sorry to leave so early,
but l have a produce delivery
coming in first thing
in the morning.
Oh, l understand.
And thanks for coming.
Early? lt's 2:00 a.m .
l'm exhausted.
How about me
running over to The Brick
and get another keg?
Oh, that's okay, Holling,
don't put yourself out.
No, really,
it looks like people
are getting ready to leave.
Just give a holler
if you change your mind.
(SlGHS)
Oh, Marilyn,
are you leaving?
Uh-huh.
lt was very nice
meeting your friends.
l'm sorry we didn't
get a chance to talk.
MlCHELLE: Me, too.
They want
to spend the night.
Fishhead pass is snowed in
and they can't get home.
Oh.
Well, l guess these things
happen in Alaska.
Marilyn, aren't they
staying with you?
No.
(EXCLAlMS)
Well, things
are such a mess,
and l really don't think
they'd be comfortable.
And, you know,
the heater's been very,
very temperamental lately.
PHlL: Something to do
with the thermostat, l think.
But of course,
if they want to,
they're welcome to stay.
The couch folds out
into a bed.
Phil.
Which we'd be happy
to sleep on, the couch.
You know,
they could have our bed.
Yes, absolutely.
Thank you.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Marilyn.
WARNER: Good night.
ELLlE: Good night, Marilyn.
(GROANlNG)
Four in the morning,
l realize l left
my cervical pillow
in the bedroom.
Where's my Naprosyn?
l wish l could be
more sympathetic.
What's that
supposed to mean?
Well, not to put
too fine a point on it,
it was you who insisted
they take our bed.
Phil, they're old people.
We couldn't let them
sleep out here.
l know that. You think
l don't know that?
l need a shirt.
You don't think they're
still asleep, do you?
Phil.
l'm going to have
to wake them.
l've got to
get to the office.
Good morning.
Good morning.
How did you sleep?
Very well.
Good.
There will be coffee
in a minute.
l just have
to get a shirt.
Excuse me.
Please,
have a seat.
Well.
MlCHELLE: So,
you're from around here?
Yes.
Phil, Ellie and Warner
are from around here.
Oh, really?
Mmm-hmm.
Oh.
Almost there.
Sunny today. Shouldn't have
any trouble on the road.
Still snowed in.
Road's out.
We're stuck.
(EXCLAlMS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
PHlL: Hey, Ed.
Come in, Dr. Capra.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
l'm sure l've got my notes
here somewhere.
You really think
l discovered a cure
for shingles?
Well, to tell you
the truth, Ed,
all over the world,
doctors are re-examining
native remedies
and finding them
very efficacious.
Cool.
''Half a cup of butter.
Half cup of molasses.
''Teriyaki."
No.
Salmon marinade.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Ed, do you know
the Thompsons?
Oh, sure.
ls it
my imagination
or do people subscribe
to a different etiquette
up here?
l mean,
with regard to invitations,
things seem
a lot less formal.
Which maybe
a good thing actually,
l mean, it's all
about community, right?
Mi casa, su casa.
That could be.
All right!
''Left, 36,
then right 1 4."
The combination
to my bike lock.
l've been looking
for this.
Ed,
what about the ointment?
You know, Dr. Capra,
l think l've got
some more healer notes
in a shoe box,
in the closet.
You know, Ed, you could use
some kind of filing system.
lt would save
a lot of time.
l think l've got a lead,
Dr. Capra.
''September 3rd,
shingles salve.
''See poultice notes."
Poultice notes.
Hey, Ed.
You've got
an old PC up here.
Maurice gave me that
when he upgraded.
Well, this is exactly
what you need
to set up a database.
(EXCLAlMS)
lt's easy,
l'll help you.
l'm not really
a computer type person,
Dr. Capra.
Yeah, that's what
everybody says
until they use one.
Then they can't imagine
how they ever got along
without it.
Come on,
l'll help you set it up.
What l mean is,
it's just so peaceful.
lt's just beautiful.
You want to see
one of the reasons
why l love it here?
What do you see
right there?
Pine cone, mushroom.
Mmm-hmm.
That's a honey mushroom.
Okay, how about,
right there. Right there.
Another mushroom, two,
three, four of them.
Yeah, exactly.
So?
These are honey mushrooms,
okay?
They're all connected.
Now they look like
they're individual mushrooms,
but they're not.
They're outcroppings
of one fungus.
The ArmiIIaria buIbosa
which runs underground.
Do you understand
what l'm saying?
These are...
Every single one of these
is part of one organism.
ls that right?
Yeah.
Here's the kicker.
How big
do you think it is?
Nipnuck glacier to the north,
lake St. Pete to the south,
Coffee Pot ridge to the west,
and to the east, who knows?
That's as far
as the eye can see.
lt's just, it's mushroom
after mushroom after mushroom,
they're all one.
Uh-huh.
l mean, can you imagine,
no one's ever actually
charted it.
This incredible fungus
is spread over like a minimum,
l mean,
minimum 35 square miles.
Really?
lt's the largest
living organism on the planet.
We're standing on it.
(SHOUTS)
lt's pretty incredible, huh?
(SlGHlNG)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
l just want to get
something to drink.
You know, l always find
the hardest part
of any article
is the lead paragraph.
Deciding on
just the right tone
to pull the reader
into the subject matter.
First impressions.
Yeah, exactly.
My article's about
baggage allowances
on domestic carriers.
lt's an important subject,
but not an immediate grabber.
Needs a hook.
Yeah, right, right.
You know, l like
working at home,
but sometimes,
being here by myself all day,
no one to talk to,
listening to the flies bang
against the window pane,
it gets kind of oppressive.
Jigsaw puzzle, huh?
Yeah, we always
carry one with us.
lt's relaxing.
Panini's
St. Peter's Basilica.
Wow.
We like the old masters.
Tough,
a lot of viridian.
Well, l'd better
get back to it.
Do you mind?
(STAMMERlNG)
l think l saw a piece...
Excuse me. Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Good eye.
Thanks.
Well, enjoy.
Actually, l think l saw
another piece there.
Kind of kidney shaped,
very distinctive.
No, no.
Hmm.
l haven't seen one of these
XT's in ages.
Ed?
You're not going to believe
how this is going to change
your life.
Let's take this old hard disk
for a spin around the block.
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
All right.
PHlL: Huh.
''Good morning, Ed."
Maurice put that in there.
PHlL: Yeah, there's
a directory and everything.
DB 2,
that's a bitch to navigate.
Ah, wait a minute,
PFS file,
that's a no-brainer, Ed.
Flat file database.
l can get you up and running
in that in no time.
lt must be a bad sector.
Retry.
(ED BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
Maybe the exec file
may be corrupt.
l'm going to try to get to it
through the root directory.
No, Dr. Capra,
just turn it off.
What?
Please, just turn it off!
(EXHALlNG)
l'm sorry.
l'm sorry, Dr. Capra.
What is it, Ed?
The computer.
Yeah?
lt scares me.
lt scares you?
l turn it on,
it makes that little beep
and all of the hairs
on the back of my neck
just stand right up.
You know, it's like,
all of a sudden
there's somebody else
in the room with me.
And he's just sitting there
glowing, humming,
asking me
all these questions.
Abort?
Retry? lgnore?
Ed, it's just a machine.
A tool.
That's what l try
to tell myself, Dr. Capra.
lt's just so big.
Big?
Yeah.
lnside the little box.
That thing
just goes on and on.
To tell you the truth,
l think it's a lot bigger
than we are.
(BREATHlNG DEEPLY)
(WHlSPERlNG)
They're so peaceful.
Of course they're peaceful.
They're sleeping on a mattress
not made out of shrapnel.
No, l mean in general.
They're so calm.
Have you noticed that,
how calm they are?
How accepting?
l hadn't noticed.
You know, this morning,
when you took your shower
and used up
all the hot water,
they didn't care,
they were fine.
lt's kind of eerie.
Come on, Michelle,
let's go to bed.
l tell you, if l had to spend
several nights in some cabin
with total strangers,
l would not be so calm.
l'd be very anxious.
Oh, come on,
let's go.
lt's so unseemly
spying on them like that,
come on.
When was the last time
we had house guests?
Oh, five years ago.
My mother,
on her way to Kona.
Right.
We were still in the condo.
l think l'd be
more comfortable
sleeping on the floor.
Your mother made lentil soup,
l liked her lentil soup.
(SlGHlNG)
Michelle, we have got to
get them out of our house.
Hey,
how do you think l feel?
l'm the one
who's trapped here
with them all day.
Tomorrow. They go.
Tomorrow.
Okay.
Okay.
Goodnight.
Good night.
lt's so cold.
(WOLF HOWLlNG)
JOEL: lt's amazing
these ragouts l make
from the local tubers.
Bear root and spatterdock,
fiddlehead fern.
The secret ingredient.
lt's a little bitter,
but it's like a nice bitter.
You know, like endive.
Hmm.
Hey, you like that
bunchberry brandy, huh?
Hmm.
Good stuff.
You seem
a little pre-occupied,
you know, anxious.
You worried
about something?
No, not at all.
l mean, l know seeing me
like this has got to be
a bit of a shock.
lt's only natural it's going
to take some time to adjust
but really, l mean,
if it's any help again,
l'm profoundly happy here.
Truly, l wouldn't want it
any other way.
(EXCLAlMS)
(SCREAMlNG)
O'Connell.
l guess,
what l'm trying to say is,
no matter what
we've been through,
l'm always your friend.
Fleischman,
you've got to
get out of here,
you've got to come back
to Cicely.
Why do you say that?
Because if you stay here,
you're going to die.
You're going to suffocate,
or get crushed by a boulder,
or get burned alive.
O'Connell, what?
No, l know it.
l know it. l've seen it.
Over and over again.
And l've been warned,
Fleischman.
And if you stay here,
your life is just going
to be snuffed out.
Look, l don't know
what this is about, but...
lt's about life and death.
Your life, your death.
l've never felt safer
in my life.
That's an illusion,
Fleischman.
That's fool's paradise.
You know what happens
to all my boyfriends,
hardly any of them
get out alive.
And if you stay here,
the same thing
is going to happen to you.
ED: See, we don't need
a database, Dr. Capra,
we'll find the cure
for shingles.
After all,
the real computer
is right up here.
We just have to...
What do they say?
Access the information.
PHlL: Yeah, l guess so.
All right, then.
So, looking for
a particular plant,
that's like looking
for a particular file.
So, where do you look?
Where there are
other plants.
Yeah?
Plants, that's like...
What do they call it?
Plants?
A menu?
A sub directory.
Sub directory, right.
So, now when my brain,
the computer,
sees that particular plant,
it'll say,
''Ed, this is the one."
File found.
So, we've turned
the old computer on.
(BlRD SQUAWKlNG)
We've hit
the old search key,
and...
No.
No.
That's not it.
Hey, look, Ed,
of all the local flora,
you picked
this one particular plant.
Now there must have been
some reason, right?
Oh, sure.
Okay.
What was it?
lt reminded me
of shingles.
This plant have like
some leaves or berries
or something
that actually resembled
varicella lesions?
Maybe.
Okay. Okay,
let's keep looking.
Right.
No.
No.
Wait.
Thin multi-colored leaf.
ls that it?
No, it's not it,
Dr. Capra.
Okay.
None of them are it.
l don't know what it is.
l don't know where it is.
l've lost it!
l've lost the cure
for shingles!
Okay, Ed, Ed.
lt was fear.
lt was fear that stopped me,
Dr. Capra.
lf l hadn't been afraid
of that computer,
we'd have that plant
in our hands.
l could have helped people.
Could have made the world
a better place.
A place without shingles.
Well, Ed,
we don't know that
for sure.
You know, not without a lot
of clinical trials and...
You're just trying
to make me feel better.
But the fact is,
l'm just a coward.
A coward and a failure.
Ed.
Hey.
Hi, did you
find your plant?
No, it's a long story.
Are they gone?
No, they're just out
looking for rocks.
Rocks?
Semi-precious stones.
She makes jewelry
or something.
What are you doing?
Nothing,
it's theirs.
So, what are we
going to do?
Well, l've been thinking
about that.
Now, l don't know
if it's culturally acceptable
up here
to just out and out
ask somebody to leave.
So, l think
we're going to have to
manipulate the situation.
Phil?
What do you mean?
Well, say something
were to happen to the house.
Right? Like a pipe burst
or there's a fire
or something.
Well,
they have to leave then.
You're not suggesting
we set the house on fire?
No, nothing that extreme.
Something minor.
Something like
the bed frame breaks.
We can't break
the bed frame,
we have to sleep there,
eventually.
Oh, what about
the heater?
Yes. l could
probably short it out.
What would we do?
We need heat.
l'm sure
Ed could fix it.
(WHlSPERlNG)
Oh, my God,
they're coming.
How do you get
into this thing?
No, there's isn't time,
they'll come in.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, l think l got it.
Phil,
what are we doing?
Look at us, we're sabotaging
electrical appliances.
We're acting
like children.
We have to be adults.
We have to tell them.
lt's not personal,
it's nothing against them.
We just want
our life back.
You're right.
You're right,
we'll just tell them.
l'll tell them.
Good. Right.
WARNER: Hello.
ELLlE: Hi.
Feldspar.
Found it
in the river bed.
MlCHELLE: Oh?
Really?
You found feldspar?
You know,
l wrote an article about
feldspar mining in Brazil.
Right.
For Sky Magazine, wasn't it?
Yeah.
So...
So...
Why don't l make us a salad
for dinner?
Good, l'll poach
some chicken breasts.
Okay. All right.
Great.
WARNER: Great!
Fleischman!
Fleischman, stop!
What are you doing?
Didn't you hear a thing
l said?
l'm just fishing,
O'Connell.
No, you snuck away,
you did this on purpose,
because you knew
l wouldn't let you go.
Look, l know
how you feel, okay?
l'm sorry, l'm not
going to change my life
because you've had
a couple of bad dreams.
Where is your rifle?
You don't even have a rifle.
There are bears
out here, Fleischman.
l'm fine, please.
lf you want to fish,
can't you come fish down here?
This is where
the big trout feed.
lt's the only place
l can get at them, okay?
Fine.
l'm coming up there.
You know, look at you,
Fleischman,
you don't
even have any fresh water!
And you should know better.
There are parasites up here
you know.
And once you get them,
they stay with you forever.
Just give me your hand
and watch your step.
(SCREAMlNG)
(JOEL SHOUTlNG)
Fleischman! Fleischman!
Are you all right?
JOEL: Oh, man!
Oh, my wrist!
(GROANlNG)
(OWL HOOTlNG)
Why don't you say something?
Why don't you?
Oh, so, you're blaming me?
We had an agreement.
As soon as they came in,
l was going to tell them
to leave.
Why didn't you?
How could l?
With you jabbering away
about feldspar.
l made one polite comment.
Shh.
They'll hear you.
(SlGHlNG)
You still could have
said something,
but, oh, no, you had to go on
and on about the salad.
lt was too late, Michelle.
By that time
we were already in
for another slumber party.
Where are you going?
Michelle!
Michelle,
come on inside.
What are you doing?
Come on,
it's cold out here.
Okay, l'm sorry
l brought up the salad.
l like
having them here.
l mean, l...
l don't,
it's so inconvenient,
but l do.
lt's like
thanksgiving,
when uncle Anthony
and aunt Colleen
and the cousins would come
and stay for the week.
And there wasn't any room
and all of us kids
had to sleep
on the floor in the den.
Do you realize we've moved
seven times in six years?
God, my life is like
an endless trail of change
of address forms.
There are boxes
l still haven't unpacked
since we were married.
We have no roots.
We're cut off
from our families.
And you don't even know
who your cousin Connie is.
No, no, no.
l remembered last night.
She's on the Chicago side.
She's Pearl's kid.
But you're right,
l guess we have moved a lot.
lt always seemed
like a good idea at the time.
The first sign
of any problems,
a fight with mom
and too much traffic.
Sewage in Santa Monica bay,
we pack the china.
Yeah.
What are we looking for,
Phil?
And why don't
we ever find it?
(GROANlNG)
(CLEARlNG THROAT)
Hey, Michelle.
Hey, Mich,
they're gone!
Hmm?
They're gone?
Did you hear them go?
You don't think
they heard us last night,
do you?
''Dear Michelle and Phil,
thank you
for your hospitality.
''lf the sizes aren't right,
let us know.
''Ellie and Warner."
Sizes?
Slippers.
Fleece-lined.
They're nice.
You know, they couldn't
have gotten too far.
lf l hurry,
l bet l can catch them.
We could all still have
breakfast together.
That's a good idea,
l could make
Belgian waffles.
They like
Belgian waffles.
Great.
Where's my shoes?
(KEYS CLlCKlNG)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
lt's open.
Got your groceries,
Walt.
Just set them
on the table.
Ruth-Anne says
to tell you she's sorry,
but we're out
of Scotchguard.
(GRUNTS)
l'm taking a bath
on pharmaceuticals.
Whoa, what are
all these numbers?
Stock market.
New York composite.
Just a sec.
GM's gone below,
it's low.
Gonna make a buy.
(TYPlNG)
Wow.
You what to see something
really nifty?
Move those beaver pelts
and have a seat.
Wrote the software
myself.
Spread sheet
on my trap lines,
percentage by locale,
migratory patterns,
quarterly yields.
There are trappers
who'd kill
for this database.
How does it
do all that, Walt?
The computer?
lt's really pretty simple.
All the information
is in binary code.
That's just
zero and one.
The electrons are like pigs
coming into the pen.
Gate's closed, that's zero.
Gate's open, that's one.
Zero one, zero one.
That's all there is to it.
One and zero,
that's it?
ln infinite combinations,
of course.
Zero, zero, zero one.
Zero, one, zero, zero,
like that.
lt's the universe.
What do you mean?
Leonard says that's how
great teachers explain
what the universe is.
Reality is one,
nothing is zero.
And the universe
is made up of
lots of combinations
of reality and nothing.
Well, l wouldn't know
anything about that,
but l'll tell you
one thing.
This girl surely brings home
the bacon.
Marilyn.
MARlLYN: Good morning.
Warner and Ellie
left early today.
Mmm-hmm.
l was hoping
to catch them.
They didn't say anything,
did they?
No.
Fishhead pass
probably cleared out
and they just
went back home, right?
Maybe.
The reason
l'm asking is that,
you know, we're still
getting acclimated here and...
You don't think
we may have offended them
in any way, do you?
Oh, l doubt it.
Well, it just seemed
kind of odd, you know.
They left so suddenly.
l wouldn't worry about it.
Oh.
You miss them?
Huh?
Oh...
Well, they're
very nice people, Marilyn.
(BlRD CAWlNG)
(METAL CLANGlNG)
Hey.
Hey, look at this.
lt's all honey mushrooms.
l had no idea
it went this far east.
lt's much bigger
than l thought.
Look, Fleischman,
for your sake,
l think l ought to go.
Oh, come on.
Don't say that.
We haven't even had
my birthday cake yet.
Fleischman.
Oh, hey, look, really.
Come on. You got
to stay for dinner.
l'm going to saute up
some mushrooms. Got plenty.
Come on.
How can you want
to have dinner with me?
You know,
l almost killed you.
Yeah.
Well?
lt's no big deal,
you know.
ln your heart of hearts
you wanted me dead.
What?
A part of you definitely
wanted me six feet under.
You know,
it's not so strange.
What are you
talking about?
We broke up, l moved out.
l'm not your lover.
You know,
l'm being deprived of
an intimate,
ongoing relationship
with Maggie O'Connell.
l should be miserable,
right?
l should be bereft,
but, no,
l'm not. l'm happy.
l'm at peace.
l can see
where that would be
a tremendous blow
to one's self esteem.
Wait a minute, let me
get this straight, okay?
You think
that l'm that petty
and self centered,
that l want you to die
if you're happy without me?
No, l think you're taking it
too negatively
'cause look at
all the growth here.
You know,
all your other boyfriends
really did die off.
l'm getting off lucky
with a little broken wrist.
Oh, thanks.
That really makes me
feel better.
You know, the thing is,
it's like...
The bottom line here...
All of the craziness
and the tension
between you and l,
it's based on illusion.
You have to understand it.
lt's an illusion
of separateness,
it's an illusion that
there's a you and a me
'cause it just ain't so.
You know? l mean,
we're like these mushrooms.
These seemingly individual
outcroppings are all
part of the whole.
You know,
there's no separateness here.
There's no other.
lt's the same
with human beings.
lt's the same with us.
(WHlSTLE BLOWlNG)
(JOEL SHOUTlNG)
(EXPLODlNG)
You know what l mean?
See, the thing is,
we're really, we're just one.
Part of the same big mushroom.
The same big self.
You see, what l'm trying
to tell you is,
l never left you, okay?
l'm always there.
You know what l mean?
l got you a surge suppressor.
l hope you like it.
Okay, let's go.
(COMPUTER BEEPlNG)
(SlGHlNG)
Hello, l hope
we can work together.
(TYPlNG)
(SlGHlNG)
Here you are.
Make a wish.
(LAUGHlNG)
Bravo, bravo!
(LAUGHlNG)
''Happy birthday, Jeel''?
Joel. That's an O.
l can see that.
Well, can l offer you
one of these fine roses?
(SlGHlNG)
No, you take them.
lt's your birthday.
Seems to be plenty
to go around.
Fleischman.
Yeah?
Happy birthday.
Yeah, thanks.
And long life.
You know what l mean?
Yeah.
Can l just eat the roses
'cause it's my birthday?
Yeah, you can.
All right, take that one.
Just one.
Okay.
(MAGGlE LAUGHS)
MlCHELLE:
...an archway, kind of
a flipper-shaped piece.
Go, Duff.
Go get him.
Go get him.
(DUFF BARKlNG)
(GUN FlRES)
Oh, damn.
(DUFF BARKlNG)
Oh.
(SLUSH GURGLlNG)
Hey, Duff!
Duff, here!
Come on, boy, come on.
Hey, hey!
Duff! Duff, here!
Duff, pull me out!
Duff, pull! Pull! Pull!
Duff, pull! Take it!
Take the stick!
Come here! Duffy!
Come here! Come here!
Duffy! Duffy!
(GASPS)
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
MAGGlE:
Actually, Fleischman's been
on my mind lately, you know,
so l thought, ''Hey,
with his birthday coming up,
''that might just be
a good time to go
see how he's doing."
Maggie you want
another rose right here?
Yeah, all right.
The thing is, l don't know
if he's gonna want to see me,
Holling.
l mean, after all,
l'm the one
that threw him out
of the house
and everything.
But the thing is,
l'm worried about him.
Worried?
Yeah, l'm concerned,
l mean, if he's doing
all right, you know.
Oh, you mean because
all your other boyfriends
died such an untimely death?
Well, yeah,
there is that.
But l don't know, l just feel
like l bare a certain amount
of responsibility
l mean, after all,
l'm the one that
drove him up river,
l'm the one
that wanted to break up.
So if he's miserable
and hell bent
on self-destruction
then l'm partially at fault,
you know.
What do you think?
''Happy birthday, Jeel''?
That's O,
O-E, Joel.
lt kind of looks
like an E.
No, no, that's an O,
O-E, Joel.
Okay. Well,
it's great, thanks.
Ruth-Anne said
the Sichuan peppercorns
didn't come in
with our order.
So l thought snap peas
would work instead
for the Mu Shu Lamb.
Did you get
the hoisin sauce?
Because, you know,
Pacific Rim cuisine
is nothing but Cantonese
without the hoisin sauce.
Here.
Thank God.
Maggie O'Connell called,
she can't make it.
She has to go
out of town.
Oh, so what are we at then?
Twelve? Twelve, even.
Yeah. Actually,
l'm relieved.
l was worried we wouldn't
have enough Shumai.
Oh, you got a letter.
lt was originally addressed
to our house on Waverly.
Waverly?
That was three years ago.
(CLEARS THROAT)
lt's been forwarded
all over the place.
l didn't realize
we'd moved so much.
''Seasons greetings.
Best wishes
for the new year.
''Love, cousin Connie."
Who's cousin Connie?
l don't know.
Uncle Dave's daughter?
l don't remember.
Well, it'll be nice
to have people over
for a change.
We've been spending
so much time alone lately.
Oh, not that that's bad.
l mean,
l love spending time
alone with you.
No, no, l know
what you mean, sweetie.
lt's just we used to have
so much more activities
in LA,
you know, like...
Thank you.
Wine and cheese tastings,
and tennis clinic.
Yeah. The new
playwright's series,
cooking class.
Right.
l don't miss it all,
you know, but still.
Yeah, yeah, still.
MAGGlE: Are you sure
this is the right place?
l mean, is this where
Fleischman lives?
GUlDE: Yes,
this is his place. Here.
l'll take that.
Oh, be careful, that,
that's a birthday cake.
Okay?
Okay.
Well, l guess if you wanted
to get away from it all,
this would be the place
to do it, huh?
Oh, thanks.
GUlDE: lf you need
anything else,
let me know.
Hey, excuse me, do you
happen to know where he is?
Over there.
Fleischman?
Hey! O'Connell!
Good morning,
Mr. Abbot.
Hi, Doc.
How are those
shingles doing?
Why don't you
roll up your sleeves?
We'll take a look.
l know they can be
very discomforting.
Well, they're gone.
Yeah.
Two days ago your arms
were covered with vesicles.
ls there any residual pain?
No.
Herpes zoster usually runs
a two-week course.
This is amazing.
Really amazing.
l'm sorry, Dr. Capra.
Sorry?
Sorry about what?
l went to Ed.
Ed Chigliak,
he's a healer, you know.
Tanya McAllister said
he cured her
when she had shingles,
so l went to him.
Ed treated you?
He gave you something
for shingles?
Ointment.
l'm really sorry,
believe me,
it didn't mean a thing.
l still want you
to be my doctor.
Mr. Abbot, what exactly
did Ed give you?
Oh, something he made up,
he had a little left over
in a jar under the sink.
l promise
l'll never go to him again.
lncredible.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi. Welcome.
Hi.
Why didn't you tell me
you invited the Grippos?
l didn't.
They came with Walt.
They just
barged in?
What could l do?
Ask them to leave?
And then, Maurice
brings Red Murphy,
what is this,
some kind of local custom?
Come one, come all?
There's not going to be
nearly enough
Mahogany Chicken Wings.
We'll cut everything
in half and serve buffet.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
How do you cut
a chicken wing in half?
MAURlCE:
Someone's at the door.
l'll get it.
Hi.
Shelly, hi.
Ed?
ED: Evening, Mrs. Capra.
Lucky thing,
Ed was over hanging out
when it was time to go.
We didn't have to
twist his arm too much.
Oh, good, l'm glad
you decided to come, Ed.
Well, smells great in here,
Mrs. Capra.
Yeah.
Thumbs up on
the Mu Shu lamb, Doc,
but, next time,
you might eighty-six
those snap peas
and throw in some
Sichuan peppercorns.
We're about out of
pork ribs over there,
where are they,
l'll bring out some more.
Oh, that's all there is.
How many did you make?
Obviously not enough.
Excuse me, Maurice.
WOMAN: Hey,
check this out.
Oh, Ed?
Dr. Capra,
Ruth-Anne says
the ribs are
really good tonight,
but l don't
see them.
Well, have
a chicken wing.
A piece of chicken wing.
All right.
Ed, l was hoping
to get to talk to you.
What ointment did you give
Ralph Abbot?
Ralph Abbot?
Shingles.
Right.
Something l had
under the sink.
Well, what was it?
l believe it was some
kind of root pulp extract.
l'll have to check
my notes.
This is really good,
Dr. Capra.
What is that?
Cranberry sauce.
Cranberry sauce?
We had a couple of cans
in the cupboard.
Cranberry sauce
with Pacific Rim,
that's just perfect.
Phil, there's nothing else
to eat.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
l'll get it.
Marilyn!
MARlLYN: Hi.
And?
Ellie Thompson,
Warner Thompson.
Hi!
Phil Capra.
Come on in.
Hello.
Family?
Friends.
Well, enjoy.
MAGGlE: l feel terrible.
l mean, look at you.
Your hair, your clothes,
you're practically in rags.
l mean, my God,
you're living in a hut,
with a dirt floor.
Why don't you just
have a little broth?
There's no indoor plumbing.
No outdoor plumbing.
Oh, what have l
done to you?
Hey, really,
l'm very comfortable here.
You're comfortable?
Yeah.
A guy whose teeth chatter
below 70 degrees?
Who gets a bloody nose
without a humidifier?
l mean, you can't
even sleep on anything
less than
320 count percale.
My needs have changed.
Fleischman, Fleischman,
this is me you're talking to,
okay, l know you.
And you're
deluding yourself.
l mean, this has got to be
a miserable existence for you.
Why? l have everything
l need here.
l have food, l have shelter,
l have friends.
lt's simple,
l know.
l tell you,
l prefer it this way.
l get it.
l get it, you're just
putting on a good face
to make me feel better.
Oh, no.
No, really,
you don't want me
to feel guilty for having
driven you to this, right?
Listen you,
l'm grateful to you.
lf it weren't for you,
l'd be in Cicely right now,
and l'd be still running
that rat race,
l'd be still locked
in that commute,
l'd be totally stressed,
l'd be totally ignorant
of what my life could be.
l mean, the truth is,
l'm happier now than
l've ever been in my life.
Ever.
Really?
Really?
l had a wonderful time.
Sorry to leave so early,
but l have a produce delivery
coming in first thing
in the morning.
Oh, l understand.
And thanks for coming.
Early? lt's 2:00 a.m .
l'm exhausted.
How about me
running over to The Brick
and get another keg?
Oh, that's okay, Holling,
don't put yourself out.
No, really,
it looks like people
are getting ready to leave.
Just give a holler
if you change your mind.
(SlGHS)
Oh, Marilyn,
are you leaving?
Uh-huh.
lt was very nice
meeting your friends.
l'm sorry we didn't
get a chance to talk.
MlCHELLE: Me, too.
They want
to spend the night.
Fishhead pass is snowed in
and they can't get home.
Oh.
Well, l guess these things
happen in Alaska.
Marilyn, aren't they
staying with you?
No.
(EXCLAlMS)
Well, things
are such a mess,
and l really don't think
they'd be comfortable.
And, you know,
the heater's been very,
very temperamental lately.
PHlL: Something to do
with the thermostat, l think.
But of course,
if they want to,
they're welcome to stay.
The couch folds out
into a bed.
Phil.
Which we'd be happy
to sleep on, the couch.
You know,
they could have our bed.
Yes, absolutely.
Thank you.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Marilyn.
WARNER: Good night.
ELLlE: Good night, Marilyn.
(GROANlNG)
Four in the morning,
l realize l left
my cervical pillow
in the bedroom.
Where's my Naprosyn?
l wish l could be
more sympathetic.
What's that
supposed to mean?
Well, not to put
too fine a point on it,
it was you who insisted
they take our bed.
Phil, they're old people.
We couldn't let them
sleep out here.
l know that. You think
l don't know that?
l need a shirt.
You don't think they're
still asleep, do you?
Phil.
l'm going to have
to wake them.
l've got to
get to the office.
Good morning.
Good morning.
How did you sleep?
Very well.
Good.
There will be coffee
in a minute.
l just have
to get a shirt.
Excuse me.
Please,
have a seat.
Well.
MlCHELLE: So,
you're from around here?
Yes.
Phil, Ellie and Warner
are from around here.
Oh, really?
Mmm-hmm.
Oh.
Almost there.
Sunny today. Shouldn't have
any trouble on the road.
Still snowed in.
Road's out.
We're stuck.
(EXCLAlMS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
PHlL: Hey, Ed.
Come in, Dr. Capra.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
l'm sure l've got my notes
here somewhere.
You really think
l discovered a cure
for shingles?
Well, to tell you
the truth, Ed,
all over the world,
doctors are re-examining
native remedies
and finding them
very efficacious.
Cool.
''Half a cup of butter.
Half cup of molasses.
''Teriyaki."
No.
Salmon marinade.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Ed, do you know
the Thompsons?
Oh, sure.
ls it
my imagination
or do people subscribe
to a different etiquette
up here?
l mean,
with regard to invitations,
things seem
a lot less formal.
Which maybe
a good thing actually,
l mean, it's all
about community, right?
Mi casa, su casa.
That could be.
All right!
''Left, 36,
then right 1 4."
The combination
to my bike lock.
l've been looking
for this.
Ed,
what about the ointment?
You know, Dr. Capra,
l think l've got
some more healer notes
in a shoe box,
in the closet.
You know, Ed, you could use
some kind of filing system.
lt would save
a lot of time.
l think l've got a lead,
Dr. Capra.
''September 3rd,
shingles salve.
''See poultice notes."
Poultice notes.
Hey, Ed.
You've got
an old PC up here.
Maurice gave me that
when he upgraded.
Well, this is exactly
what you need
to set up a database.
(EXCLAlMS)
lt's easy,
l'll help you.
l'm not really
a computer type person,
Dr. Capra.
Yeah, that's what
everybody says
until they use one.
Then they can't imagine
how they ever got along
without it.
Come on,
l'll help you set it up.
What l mean is,
it's just so peaceful.
lt's just beautiful.
You want to see
one of the reasons
why l love it here?
What do you see
right there?
Pine cone, mushroom.
Mmm-hmm.
That's a honey mushroom.
Okay, how about,
right there. Right there.
Another mushroom, two,
three, four of them.
Yeah, exactly.
So?
These are honey mushrooms,
okay?
They're all connected.
Now they look like
they're individual mushrooms,
but they're not.
They're outcroppings
of one fungus.
The ArmiIIaria buIbosa
which runs underground.
Do you understand
what l'm saying?
These are...
Every single one of these
is part of one organism.
ls that right?
Yeah.
Here's the kicker.
How big
do you think it is?
Nipnuck glacier to the north,
lake St. Pete to the south,
Coffee Pot ridge to the west,
and to the east, who knows?
That's as far
as the eye can see.
lt's just, it's mushroom
after mushroom after mushroom,
they're all one.
Uh-huh.
l mean, can you imagine,
no one's ever actually
charted it.
This incredible fungus
is spread over like a minimum,
l mean,
minimum 35 square miles.
Really?
lt's the largest
living organism on the planet.
We're standing on it.
(SHOUTS)
lt's pretty incredible, huh?
(SlGHlNG)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
l just want to get
something to drink.
You know, l always find
the hardest part
of any article
is the lead paragraph.
Deciding on
just the right tone
to pull the reader
into the subject matter.
First impressions.
Yeah, exactly.
My article's about
baggage allowances
on domestic carriers.
lt's an important subject,
but not an immediate grabber.
Needs a hook.
Yeah, right, right.
You know, l like
working at home,
but sometimes,
being here by myself all day,
no one to talk to,
listening to the flies bang
against the window pane,
it gets kind of oppressive.
Jigsaw puzzle, huh?
Yeah, we always
carry one with us.
lt's relaxing.
Panini's
St. Peter's Basilica.
Wow.
We like the old masters.
Tough,
a lot of viridian.
Well, l'd better
get back to it.
Do you mind?
(STAMMERlNG)
l think l saw a piece...
Excuse me. Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Good eye.
Thanks.
Well, enjoy.
Actually, l think l saw
another piece there.
Kind of kidney shaped,
very distinctive.
No, no.
Hmm.
l haven't seen one of these
XT's in ages.
Ed?
You're not going to believe
how this is going to change
your life.
Let's take this old hard disk
for a spin around the block.
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
All right.
PHlL: Huh.
''Good morning, Ed."
Maurice put that in there.
PHlL: Yeah, there's
a directory and everything.
DB 2,
that's a bitch to navigate.
Ah, wait a minute,
PFS file,
that's a no-brainer, Ed.
Flat file database.
l can get you up and running
in that in no time.
lt must be a bad sector.
Retry.
(ED BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
Maybe the exec file
may be corrupt.
l'm going to try to get to it
through the root directory.
No, Dr. Capra,
just turn it off.
What?
Please, just turn it off!
(EXHALlNG)
l'm sorry.
l'm sorry, Dr. Capra.
What is it, Ed?
The computer.
Yeah?
lt scares me.
lt scares you?
l turn it on,
it makes that little beep
and all of the hairs
on the back of my neck
just stand right up.
You know, it's like,
all of a sudden
there's somebody else
in the room with me.
And he's just sitting there
glowing, humming,
asking me
all these questions.
Abort?
Retry? lgnore?
Ed, it's just a machine.
A tool.
That's what l try
to tell myself, Dr. Capra.
lt's just so big.
Big?
Yeah.
lnside the little box.
That thing
just goes on and on.
To tell you the truth,
l think it's a lot bigger
than we are.
(BREATHlNG DEEPLY)
(WHlSPERlNG)
They're so peaceful.
Of course they're peaceful.
They're sleeping on a mattress
not made out of shrapnel.
No, l mean in general.
They're so calm.
Have you noticed that,
how calm they are?
How accepting?
l hadn't noticed.
You know, this morning,
when you took your shower
and used up
all the hot water,
they didn't care,
they were fine.
lt's kind of eerie.
Come on, Michelle,
let's go to bed.
l tell you, if l had to spend
several nights in some cabin
with total strangers,
l would not be so calm.
l'd be very anxious.
Oh, come on,
let's go.
lt's so unseemly
spying on them like that,
come on.
When was the last time
we had house guests?
Oh, five years ago.
My mother,
on her way to Kona.
Right.
We were still in the condo.
l think l'd be
more comfortable
sleeping on the floor.
Your mother made lentil soup,
l liked her lentil soup.
(SlGHlNG)
Michelle, we have got to
get them out of our house.
Hey,
how do you think l feel?
l'm the one
who's trapped here
with them all day.
Tomorrow. They go.
Tomorrow.
Okay.
Okay.
Goodnight.
Good night.
lt's so cold.
(WOLF HOWLlNG)
JOEL: lt's amazing
these ragouts l make
from the local tubers.
Bear root and spatterdock,
fiddlehead fern.
The secret ingredient.
lt's a little bitter,
but it's like a nice bitter.
You know, like endive.
Hmm.
Hey, you like that
bunchberry brandy, huh?
Hmm.
Good stuff.
You seem
a little pre-occupied,
you know, anxious.
You worried
about something?
No, not at all.
l mean, l know seeing me
like this has got to be
a bit of a shock.
lt's only natural it's going
to take some time to adjust
but really, l mean,
if it's any help again,
l'm profoundly happy here.
Truly, l wouldn't want it
any other way.
(EXCLAlMS)
(SCREAMlNG)
O'Connell.
l guess,
what l'm trying to say is,
no matter what
we've been through,
l'm always your friend.
Fleischman,
you've got to
get out of here,
you've got to come back
to Cicely.
Why do you say that?
Because if you stay here,
you're going to die.
You're going to suffocate,
or get crushed by a boulder,
or get burned alive.
O'Connell, what?
No, l know it.
l know it. l've seen it.
Over and over again.
And l've been warned,
Fleischman.
And if you stay here,
your life is just going
to be snuffed out.
Look, l don't know
what this is about, but...
lt's about life and death.
Your life, your death.
l've never felt safer
in my life.
That's an illusion,
Fleischman.
That's fool's paradise.
You know what happens
to all my boyfriends,
hardly any of them
get out alive.
And if you stay here,
the same thing
is going to happen to you.
ED: See, we don't need
a database, Dr. Capra,
we'll find the cure
for shingles.
After all,
the real computer
is right up here.
We just have to...
What do they say?
Access the information.
PHlL: Yeah, l guess so.
All right, then.
So, looking for
a particular plant,
that's like looking
for a particular file.
So, where do you look?
Where there are
other plants.
Yeah?
Plants, that's like...
What do they call it?
Plants?
A menu?
A sub directory.
Sub directory, right.
So, now when my brain,
the computer,
sees that particular plant,
it'll say,
''Ed, this is the one."
File found.
So, we've turned
the old computer on.
(BlRD SQUAWKlNG)
We've hit
the old search key,
and...
No.
No.
That's not it.
Hey, look, Ed,
of all the local flora,
you picked
this one particular plant.
Now there must have been
some reason, right?
Oh, sure.
Okay.
What was it?
lt reminded me
of shingles.
This plant have like
some leaves or berries
or something
that actually resembled
varicella lesions?
Maybe.
Okay. Okay,
let's keep looking.
Right.
No.
No.
Wait.
Thin multi-colored leaf.
ls that it?
No, it's not it,
Dr. Capra.
Okay.
None of them are it.
l don't know what it is.
l don't know where it is.
l've lost it!
l've lost the cure
for shingles!
Okay, Ed, Ed.
lt was fear.
lt was fear that stopped me,
Dr. Capra.
lf l hadn't been afraid
of that computer,
we'd have that plant
in our hands.
l could have helped people.
Could have made the world
a better place.
A place without shingles.
Well, Ed,
we don't know that
for sure.
You know, not without a lot
of clinical trials and...
You're just trying
to make me feel better.
But the fact is,
l'm just a coward.
A coward and a failure.
Ed.
Hey.
Hi, did you
find your plant?
No, it's a long story.
Are they gone?
No, they're just out
looking for rocks.
Rocks?
Semi-precious stones.
She makes jewelry
or something.
What are you doing?
Nothing,
it's theirs.
So, what are we
going to do?
Well, l've been thinking
about that.
Now, l don't know
if it's culturally acceptable
up here
to just out and out
ask somebody to leave.
So, l think
we're going to have to
manipulate the situation.
Phil?
What do you mean?
Well, say something
were to happen to the house.
Right? Like a pipe burst
or there's a fire
or something.
Well,
they have to leave then.
You're not suggesting
we set the house on fire?
No, nothing that extreme.
Something minor.
Something like
the bed frame breaks.
We can't break
the bed frame,
we have to sleep there,
eventually.
Oh, what about
the heater?
Yes. l could
probably short it out.
What would we do?
We need heat.
l'm sure
Ed could fix it.
(WHlSPERlNG)
Oh, my God,
they're coming.
How do you get
into this thing?
No, there's isn't time,
they'll come in.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, l think l got it.
Phil,
what are we doing?
Look at us, we're sabotaging
electrical appliances.
We're acting
like children.
We have to be adults.
We have to tell them.
lt's not personal,
it's nothing against them.
We just want
our life back.
You're right.
You're right,
we'll just tell them.
l'll tell them.
Good. Right.
WARNER: Hello.
ELLlE: Hi.
Feldspar.
Found it
in the river bed.
MlCHELLE: Oh?
Really?
You found feldspar?
You know,
l wrote an article about
feldspar mining in Brazil.
Right.
For Sky Magazine, wasn't it?
Yeah.
So...
So...
Why don't l make us a salad
for dinner?
Good, l'll poach
some chicken breasts.
Okay. All right.
Great.
WARNER: Great!
Fleischman!
Fleischman, stop!
What are you doing?
Didn't you hear a thing
l said?
l'm just fishing,
O'Connell.
No, you snuck away,
you did this on purpose,
because you knew
l wouldn't let you go.
Look, l know
how you feel, okay?
l'm sorry, l'm not
going to change my life
because you've had
a couple of bad dreams.
Where is your rifle?
You don't even have a rifle.
There are bears
out here, Fleischman.
l'm fine, please.
lf you want to fish,
can't you come fish down here?
This is where
the big trout feed.
lt's the only place
l can get at them, okay?
Fine.
l'm coming up there.
You know, look at you,
Fleischman,
you don't
even have any fresh water!
And you should know better.
There are parasites up here
you know.
And once you get them,
they stay with you forever.
Just give me your hand
and watch your step.
(SCREAMlNG)
(JOEL SHOUTlNG)
Fleischman! Fleischman!
Are you all right?
JOEL: Oh, man!
Oh, my wrist!
(GROANlNG)
(OWL HOOTlNG)
Why don't you say something?
Why don't you?
Oh, so, you're blaming me?
We had an agreement.
As soon as they came in,
l was going to tell them
to leave.
Why didn't you?
How could l?
With you jabbering away
about feldspar.
l made one polite comment.
Shh.
They'll hear you.
(SlGHlNG)
You still could have
said something,
but, oh, no, you had to go on
and on about the salad.
lt was too late, Michelle.
By that time
we were already in
for another slumber party.
Where are you going?
Michelle!
Michelle,
come on inside.
What are you doing?
Come on,
it's cold out here.
Okay, l'm sorry
l brought up the salad.
l like
having them here.
l mean, l...
l don't,
it's so inconvenient,
but l do.
lt's like
thanksgiving,
when uncle Anthony
and aunt Colleen
and the cousins would come
and stay for the week.
And there wasn't any room
and all of us kids
had to sleep
on the floor in the den.
Do you realize we've moved
seven times in six years?
God, my life is like
an endless trail of change
of address forms.
There are boxes
l still haven't unpacked
since we were married.
We have no roots.
We're cut off
from our families.
And you don't even know
who your cousin Connie is.
No, no, no.
l remembered last night.
She's on the Chicago side.
She's Pearl's kid.
But you're right,
l guess we have moved a lot.
lt always seemed
like a good idea at the time.
The first sign
of any problems,
a fight with mom
and too much traffic.
Sewage in Santa Monica bay,
we pack the china.
Yeah.
What are we looking for,
Phil?
And why don't
we ever find it?
(GROANlNG)
(CLEARlNG THROAT)
Hey, Michelle.
Hey, Mich,
they're gone!
Hmm?
They're gone?
Did you hear them go?
You don't think
they heard us last night,
do you?
''Dear Michelle and Phil,
thank you
for your hospitality.
''lf the sizes aren't right,
let us know.
''Ellie and Warner."
Sizes?
Slippers.
Fleece-lined.
They're nice.
You know, they couldn't
have gotten too far.
lf l hurry,
l bet l can catch them.
We could all still have
breakfast together.
That's a good idea,
l could make
Belgian waffles.
They like
Belgian waffles.
Great.
Where's my shoes?
(KEYS CLlCKlNG)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
lt's open.
Got your groceries,
Walt.
Just set them
on the table.
Ruth-Anne says
to tell you she's sorry,
but we're out
of Scotchguard.
(GRUNTS)
l'm taking a bath
on pharmaceuticals.
Whoa, what are
all these numbers?
Stock market.
New York composite.
Just a sec.
GM's gone below,
it's low.
Gonna make a buy.
(TYPlNG)
Wow.
You what to see something
really nifty?
Move those beaver pelts
and have a seat.
Wrote the software
myself.
Spread sheet
on my trap lines,
percentage by locale,
migratory patterns,
quarterly yields.
There are trappers
who'd kill
for this database.
How does it
do all that, Walt?
The computer?
lt's really pretty simple.
All the information
is in binary code.
That's just
zero and one.
The electrons are like pigs
coming into the pen.
Gate's closed, that's zero.
Gate's open, that's one.
Zero one, zero one.
That's all there is to it.
One and zero,
that's it?
ln infinite combinations,
of course.
Zero, zero, zero one.
Zero, one, zero, zero,
like that.
lt's the universe.
What do you mean?
Leonard says that's how
great teachers explain
what the universe is.
Reality is one,
nothing is zero.
And the universe
is made up of
lots of combinations
of reality and nothing.
Well, l wouldn't know
anything about that,
but l'll tell you
one thing.
This girl surely brings home
the bacon.
Marilyn.
MARlLYN: Good morning.
Warner and Ellie
left early today.
Mmm-hmm.
l was hoping
to catch them.
They didn't say anything,
did they?
No.
Fishhead pass
probably cleared out
and they just
went back home, right?
Maybe.
The reason
l'm asking is that,
you know, we're still
getting acclimated here and...
You don't think
we may have offended them
in any way, do you?
Oh, l doubt it.
Well, it just seemed
kind of odd, you know.
They left so suddenly.
l wouldn't worry about it.
Oh.
You miss them?
Huh?
Oh...
Well, they're
very nice people, Marilyn.
(BlRD CAWlNG)
(METAL CLANGlNG)
Hey.
Hey, look at this.
lt's all honey mushrooms.
l had no idea
it went this far east.
lt's much bigger
than l thought.
Look, Fleischman,
for your sake,
l think l ought to go.
Oh, come on.
Don't say that.
We haven't even had
my birthday cake yet.
Fleischman.
Oh, hey, look, really.
Come on. You got
to stay for dinner.
l'm going to saute up
some mushrooms. Got plenty.
Come on.
How can you want
to have dinner with me?
You know,
l almost killed you.
Yeah.
Well?
lt's no big deal,
you know.
ln your heart of hearts
you wanted me dead.
What?
A part of you definitely
wanted me six feet under.
You know,
it's not so strange.
What are you
talking about?
We broke up, l moved out.
l'm not your lover.
You know,
l'm being deprived of
an intimate,
ongoing relationship
with Maggie O'Connell.
l should be miserable,
right?
l should be bereft,
but, no,
l'm not. l'm happy.
l'm at peace.
l can see
where that would be
a tremendous blow
to one's self esteem.
Wait a minute, let me
get this straight, okay?
You think
that l'm that petty
and self centered,
that l want you to die
if you're happy without me?
No, l think you're taking it
too negatively
'cause look at
all the growth here.
You know,
all your other boyfriends
really did die off.
l'm getting off lucky
with a little broken wrist.
Oh, thanks.
That really makes me
feel better.
You know, the thing is,
it's like...
The bottom line here...
All of the craziness
and the tension
between you and l,
it's based on illusion.
You have to understand it.
lt's an illusion
of separateness,
it's an illusion that
there's a you and a me
'cause it just ain't so.
You know? l mean,
we're like these mushrooms.
These seemingly individual
outcroppings are all
part of the whole.
You know,
there's no separateness here.
There's no other.
lt's the same
with human beings.
lt's the same with us.
(WHlSTLE BLOWlNG)
(JOEL SHOUTlNG)
(EXPLODlNG)
You know what l mean?
See, the thing is,
we're really, we're just one.
Part of the same big mushroom.
The same big self.
You see, what l'm trying
to tell you is,
l never left you, okay?
l'm always there.
You know what l mean?
l got you a surge suppressor.
l hope you like it.
Okay, let's go.
(COMPUTER BEEPlNG)
(SlGHlNG)
Hello, l hope
we can work together.
(TYPlNG)
(SlGHlNG)
Here you are.
Make a wish.
(LAUGHlNG)
Bravo, bravo!
(LAUGHlNG)
''Happy birthday, Jeel''?
Joel. That's an O.
l can see that.
Well, can l offer you
one of these fine roses?
(SlGHlNG)
No, you take them.
lt's your birthday.
Seems to be plenty
to go around.
Fleischman.
Yeah?
Happy birthday.
Yeah, thanks.
And long life.
You know what l mean?
Yeah.
Can l just eat the roses
'cause it's my birthday?
Yeah, you can.
All right, take that one.
Just one.
Okay.
(MAGGlE LAUGHS)
MlCHELLE:
...an archway, kind of
a flipper-shaped piece.