Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 4, Episode 3 - Nothing's Perfect - full transcript
Chris runs over a dog and is smitten by the owner. Maurice a very rare antique clock. Ed makes a new friend of the horologist.
You go, Red!
Oh, man!
I'm sorry, he just was
beyond my help.
I just...
I thought, you know,
maybe he had a chance.
Well, death was pretty much
instantaneous, you know.
I mean, upon impact.
Which, if you think about it, it
was really a blessing, you know?
I mean, if he didn't
have to unduly suffer.
You okay?
Yeah, I've had some road
kills before, you know.
Places I've lived,
it's been unavoidable.
You know, a possum,
a marmot...
but this is a dog.
It's the purest form of
unconditional love that...
a man can know.
Well, it's not like
you did it on purpose.
You know these things happen. I
mean, they're out of our control.
Water?
Thanks, Marilyn.
Too bad.
Look, you're not to blame
in any way.
Chris, come on,
it was a freak accident.
Joel, the concept
of random death...
in an indifferent world
is one thing.
But to be the instrument
of that death...
A dog killer?
I don't suppose
you'd tell the owners?
All right.
Sorry, Chris.
Take it a little
to the right.
No, no, no, no, no.
To the left.
That's it.
Yeah.
I like that. Yeah.
Here you go, Ed,
much obliged.
Sorry, Maurice,
I don't have any change.
I don't expect any.
Don't spend it all
in one place.
Come on, move that television
over to that corner, would you?
Yes, sir.
There we go.
You know what's going
to go on here, Ed?
Nope.
A clock.
But not just
any clock. No, no.
No. This is a certified...
1572, weight driven
Augsburg carillon...
from the workshop
of Hans Schlotheim.
Huh.
It has magnificent
silver automata...
that show the day
of the week...
four stages of man,
Madonna and child.
And right at the very top...
a silver rooster...
that announces
the chime of the hour.
That sounds like
quite a show, Maurice.
Yeah, there hasn't been a clock
of this magnitude on the market...
for eight years.
When I saw it in the Gebruder
Hofmannsthal catalog...
I was thunderstruck.
It was a silent auction.
I bid high...
but I got it.
Congratulations,
Maurice.
Thank you, Ed.
Have you ever considered what the
world was like before we had clocks?
Not really.
We were the ignorant
victims of time.
We were buffeted
by the seasons...
swept along
by the amorphous sludge of...
day, night.
We had no hours,
no minutes.
No definition.
No way to grab hold
of our passing lives.
Until this tamed time.
Put us in
the driver's seat.
Wow.
Look, Ed, why don't you go in there...
and get yourself
some milk and cookies, huh?
Thank you, Maurice.
Oh, my God.
It's so picturesque...
so intense...
so fantastisch.
Ja.
Hello, Red.
Hey, Maurice.
The feeling here
is absolutely raw, naked.
Who's that?
Rolf Hauser.
The Rolf Hauser from
Gebruder Hofmannsthal?
Ja.
They said they were
sending an expert.
A highly trained specialist
to install my clock.
Ja. I am he.
My preflight out of Anchorage,
my altimeter's on the fritz.
He fixes it.
Takes it apart and
fixes it, right there.
You know, it was really
a simple problem.
It required a minor adjustment
of the...
the aneroid...
How do you call in English?
Wafers.
Ja. Ja,
the aneroid wafers.
Well, what about my clock?
She's right here.
Well, let's
get her inside, huh?
You heard him.
Nice dog.
Good boy.
Can I help you?
Hi.
My name is Chris Stevens.
I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
Yeah?
I killed your dog.
I don't have a dog.
You don't?
Rusty? 438 Alder?
Who is it, Lenny?
Hi.
Hi.
You here to see me?
Yeah, I think so.
Amy Lochner.
Chris.
Well, come in, please.
Sure.
Excuse the mess.
I'm rewiring. I needed more
juice for the computers.
Oh, no! Ted, come on.
Get off of there.
What do you do?
Math.
Well, really more
number theory.
I'm working on pi
for my dissertation.
Pi?
The circumference,
diameter thing?
Mmm-hmm. 3.141592653.
And so on and so on
and so on and...
Yeah, yeah, the numbers
keep spooling on for...
forever and ever.
Right.
I study other transcendental numbers,
but I don't know, there's just...
something about pi.
I think it's
the circle.
The continuum, you know,
the mystery of the infinite.
Non-Euclidean geometry?
Not really.
I like to think about
things now and then.
You can't avoid a little
math here and there.
Yeah, well,
pi fools you.
It seems to be just a
random sequence of numbers-
Right, but it can't be because the
relationship of the circumference...
and diameter never changes.
Well, exactly. The
sequence is always the same.
You know, I just have this
feeling that if I could take pi...
well, past all this static...
take pi to 10 million,
20 million digits...
then I'd find something
really incredible.
Not just a pattern,
not just an order, but a...
What? What? Say it.
A sign.
A mathematical sign.
Like a message from God?
Yes.
So?
So?
You came
to tell me something?
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
He killed your dog.
Mr. Minnifield...
when she first came to us
she had been totally abused.
She had been in a chimney for 50 years.
What?
A chimney, in Leipzig.
She'd been hidden there
during the war.
Oh!
Look, can we turn
that thing down?
No problem.
See, there was extensive
damage in here...
because of the water and
the smoke from the chimney.
See this, right here? The entire
verge escapement was fused.
Okay.
And the count wheel
of the hour striking train...
was completely useless.
So, what did I do?
I duplicated one quart from
one quarter inch brass sheeting.
Uh-huh.
Ja.
Now, this here...
took me three months just
to redo this whole panel.
It was...
It was extremely difficult
to create a copper alloy...
that would match
this perfectly...
but I think in the end
I was quite successful.
You know...
you're not at all
what I expected.
I pictured
your typical technokraut.
You know, white coat,
steel-rimmed glasses...
stick up the butt.
That sort of thing.
But you did...
My, you did an outstanding
job. This is beautiful.
Nein, nein, nein, nein,
Mr. Minnifield...
there are some things
we should talk about first.
First of all, you must try and avoid
wide fluctuations in temperature, okay?
And try and keep the humidity
as low as you can.
All right.
Okay, now, if you friends desire
to take a photograph of the clock...
please ask them to do so
without the flash attachments.
Right.
No flash attachments.
All right.
Now, here
I have prepared a list...
of instructions for the proper
maintenance and care of the clock.
I would like your assurance that
you are going to abide by them.
Oh. Sure. Yeah,
you have it.
Okay.
Mr. Minnifield...
I would like to
present you with this.
Thank you.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Joel.
You talk to the owner?
Yeah. Amy.
How'd it go?
Great.
I can't speak for her,
but for me...
this incredible mind
in this incredible body.
I'm in love.
You fell in love with the
woman whose pet you murdered?
Joel, did you know that
Dostoyevsky was an epileptic?
Yeah, I think
I read that somewhere.
Well, he once described the
sensation he'd experience...
right before having a seizure.
It was a feeling of...
impending revelation, as if he
were about to learn a great truth.
Like the universe was poised before
him ready to reveal its secrets...
and then, bam, man!
He'd hit the mat.
Yeah?
Well, I realize now
what Dostoyevsky meant.
You know, standing there
in Amy's presence, I felt...
I felt the same elation, the
same breathless anticipation...
you know what I mean?
Chris, you killed her dog.
There's no rules for this.
There's no social precedents.
What am I supposed to do?
Beats me.
What about
the cosmic significance, hmm?
Was Rusty just
a sacrificial lamb...
I ask myself?
A chess piece...
whose only purpose on earth
was to bring us together?
Or is there a darker
and more ominous meaning?
Was he
the first shoe to drop?
A domino
in a chain of events...
that will lead
to our mutual annihilation.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, boys.
How you doing?
Nice dogs. Friendly.
How you doing, boy?
Hi.
Hi.
That's Rusty?
Yeah.
He like this tree. He used to come
out here every morning and, you know...
use it. I thought I'd
plant some primroses.
Maybe some crocuses.
Mmm-hmm.
I got you
some things, here.
Well, it's more for them,
really. Yeah! Go get 'em, boys.
Yeah! Yeah.
They like them.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Well...
You know, I got a buddy up in Aniak...
and his dog
just had pups.
Cute, you know,
a little furry.
They're good dogs.
They've been dewormed...
and they've had
all their shots.
You know, I'd like
to get you one.
If you don't...
You know,
if it'll be okay?
No. Thank you.
Probably too soon.
Well, I guess I'd better
get going then.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
There's one more thing.
Okay?
I'm incredibly attracted
to you.
I know that we didn't get off on a good
foot here with Rusty and everything...
but believe me,
I'm...
I'm racked with guilt.
Is there...
Is there, like, any chance that
you and I, we could get together?
Oh, okay.
All right?
All right.
Okay. Good. All right.
Thank you.
Cool.
Ja. Lock it down!
You want to explain to me
the appeal of that?
What, the music?
Music?
Yeah, if you want to call it
that, I'll be broad-minded.
Viscera.
Viscera?
Ja. From the guts, you know?
Bratwurst special
and boiled potatoes.
Thank you, thank you.
You're welcome.
Patty melt.
Well, I'll get you
some ketchup.
You like the chow, huh?
Mmm-hmm.
I admire the German people.
In spite of their jingoistic
fascist tendencies...
or maybe because of them...
they're very exacting...
precise...
and extremely consistent.
Now, when you buy German...
Daimler Benz or Braun...
Henckels, anything...
you get quality merchandise.
Listen.
Hear that lead?
Anyway, what I was
saying was...
that life is so
unpredictable, you know...
cancer, earthquakes.
What?
This is unspeakable.
What, the beer?
Ja. Tastes like wasser.
Excuse me.
Sure.
Hi.
Hello.
Are you an Indian?
Uh-huh. 50-50.
Oh, that's fabulous.
"I am Wind In His Hair. Do
you see that I am your friend?
"Do you see that I will
always be your friend?"
Dances with Wolves.
Ja.
Ja, ja,
that's my favorite movie. Ja.
You Indians are
so visceral.
Thanks.
Ja.
You wanna play?
Ja!
Okay.
This is cool.
Joker! Joker!
Joker! Joker!
Just a sec.
Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
Watch your head, there.
You look great.
Thanks.
This is for you.
Cat?
The wine.
Oh, right.
Oh, red. I love red.
I hope it's okay,
I had to bring Mandy...
because she's got
a little conjunctivitis...
and I've got to give her
some drops.
And I had to bring Ted 'cause
if I take Mandy someplace...
and I don't take Ted,
he sprays the house.
I'll just leave him
in his box.
And I'll open
this wine, and...
Oh, please, sit down.
I really shouldn't have so many
animals. It's hard on the computers.
Oh, yeah?
The way they shed.
No matter what I do, the
hair gets in the disk drives.
Last week
my whole system crashed.
I just have this thing
about animals.
I look into those trusting,
sentient eyes...
Oh, no, no, I...
I wasn't implying...
Believe me, that wasn't
pointed at you.
What you did
was an accident.
It could've happened
to anybody. I know that.
And I'm doing my best...
to put it behind me.
To transcendental numbers?
Mmm.
You know, Chris, all that
stuff I said about pi?
Yeah?
I meant every word.
When I was
in graduate school...
there were just
so many choices.
There was fractal geometry,
imaginary numbers...
nonlinear
differential equations.
Nothing felt right.
And then one day I walked
into the computer lab...
and someone was
running pi, and...
I stared at
that monitor...
and all those numbers
dancing across the screen.
At that moment, I knew.
I just knew.
Are you okay?
I'm just a little allergic.
To cats?
Yeah, it's no problem,
though.
Oh.
Just a little.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I don't know
what this is...
or why this is, Amy,
but I'm...
I'm tumbling for you
in a big way.
You know what I mean?
I'm plummeting off
the edge of the earth.
And that there cat's
not gonna break my fall.
Oh, God...
you never heard of
Einsturzende Neubauten?
Nope.
Partynummer?
Armenia II?
Uh-uh.
Blixa Bargeld,
he's like lead guitar.
Most charismatic,
very incredible...
like Pete Townsend.
I'll get you a tape.
Oh, thanks.
Do you have any artifacts?
Any masks, furs?
Harpoons?
You know, I did
have a walrus tusk.
Ja?
I'm not sure
where it is right now.
You know, in the auction
house where I work...
we do quite a lively trade
in Indian artifacts.
Particularly Navajo pots.
Huh?
Ja.
These are good,
by the way.
Would you like to watch a tape? Ja!
You know, I've got some really
good films about Germans here.
Marathon Man. Laurence
Olivier plays Dr. Mengele.
I saw that one, ja.
Boys of Brazil.
Gregory Peck, this time,
playing Dr. Mengele.
Playing for Time.
This is really good.
Course, I can't remember who
plays Dr. Mengele in this one.
Vanessa Redgrave, ja.
I like her.
She's very mannish.
Tell me, Rolf?
Ja?
How does it feel to
always be the bad guy?
I mean, in the movies.
Who cares?
Do you have Cape Fear?
Yep.
And I have the original...
by J. Lee Thompson.
Ja.
Wow, you have quite
an extensive library here.
I'm a filmmaker.
Really?
Well, sort of.
Well, actually, things have been
kind of on hold for a while...
on account of
I left my camera...
on the windowsill
last March...
when we had that little cold snap. Ja.
And it's just
not really worked since.
May I see it?
Yeah.
Oh, it's a Bolex.
It's a remarkable camera.
Hey.
Hi, Chris.
Hi.
I brought breakfast.
Cocoa Puffs
and sugar Frosted Flakes.
Oh, I'm sorry, I can't.
I gotta go. I'm late.
I booked time
in Anchorage on a YMP8.
It's a supercomputer.
A gigaflop.
It can perform more than 2 billion
floating point operations per second.
Could you grab
those for me, please?
Yeah. That sounds great.
I missed you last night.
I couldn't sleep.
Me, too. I laid awake all
night and stared at the ceiling.
Yeah?
Yeah.
No, really, I can't.
I'm very late.
Oh, I still have
to feed the dogs...
the cat, the fish,
the birds.
That's okay. I'll do it. Go ahead.
Oh, no. That's okay.
No, no, no,
I don't mind.
You mean it?
It would be my pleasure.
All right.
You are truly great.
No more.
Bye.
Bye.
Drive safe, now.
Come on, boys!
Hi, there.
Hi. Here's your food.
Chow down.
You want some food, too,
little bird?
Here you go.
Huh? What do you want?
You want some food?
I know you do.
How you doing,
little bird?
Little bird?
Ruth-Anne!
I'm back here.
Hand me that lure, dear.
Thank you.
I don't know what's going on here.
I don't know what's happening.
Look at this.
That's a dead bird.
All I did was feed it.
I gave it some seed. You know,
maybe this is a coincidence.
Maybe this doesn't have
anything to do with me at all.
Maybe this bird died
of natural causes.
You know, an illness,
a heart attack?
I just happened
to be there, right?
You killed her bird, too?
No, no, no, darling,
I didn't kill her bird.
But what's Amy
gonna think? Hmm?
First the dog,
now the bird.
She's gonna think
I did it on purpose.
And, you know,
maybe she's right.
I mean, who knows what kind of
evil forces are driving me to kill.
Some deep-seated
hatred towards women?
A death wish
of my own, maybe?
I'm afraid
I wouldn't know.
Well, I don't have time to stand
here with you and analyze it.
I need a replacement, okay?
What?
You're going to try
to pull a switch?
Yes.
What?
Disregarding any possible
moral issues, Chris...
it won't work.
Why not, Ruth-Anne?
Because people
know their pets.
Of course they do when they're a couple
of rungs up on the evolutionary ladder.
This isn't an Irish setter who brings
your slippers. This is a parakeet.
They're practically
non-interactive.
I just need
a good match.
Don't look at me
like that, Ruth-Anne.
You don't know
what's at stake here.
I'm in love.
Well, Maurice, it certainly
is a magnificent thing.
Really bitching.
Wait till it
chimes the hour.
When this baby
goes into action...
it'll take your breath away.
I guarantee it.
Cool.
Now, an occasion
like this...
seemed to call
for a bottle of port.
I've decanted a bottle
of Quinta Do Noval, '63.
It's one of the best vintages
in the past 50 years.
Taste it.
See what you think.
Tastes like Robitussin.
Well, it's a bit
on the sweet side.
Well, have some walnuts and
Stilton. It'll compliment the taste.
Okay.
You know, the real beauty
of the mechanical clock...
the revolutionary impact
was its exactitude.
The clock's ability
to divide the day...
exactly into hours.
Oh, yeah.
The hours into minutes.
The minutes into seconds.
The clock provides a chart...
a map.
Think about it.
You can look at a clock at
any hour of the day or night...
and know exactly
where you are.
Huh.
That's weird.
What?
I got 10 after.
Well, your watch is fast.
I got 10 after, too.
Well, you're
both wrong.
This is a Swatch.
It's never wrong.
I'm sure that German fellow
can fix it up for you.
Walnut, babe?
Yeah, thank you.
This cheese is delicious.
Got a lot
of birds here, Lucky.
They sneak up on you.
Buy a pair and nurse one
with a broken wing...
take another in
as a favor to a friend.
Before you know it,
your home's an aviary.
Can't turn them out,
you see.
If the owls didn't get them,
the cold would.
You sure
you only want one?
Oh, yeah.
Now, before you say that, you
ought to take a look at this macaw.
They talk, you know.
Make for good company.
No, thanks.
You know, the thing is, I feel
I've lost control of the situation.
They're running my life.
My time is not my own.
I spend all of it feeding
them, cleaning up after them.
I have no friends any more.
No one will come to call.
Well, look it, Lucky, I don't want
to sound unsympathetic, you know, but-
I don't see a way out.
I don't know where to turn.
I'm under the gun here, buddy.
I need a good match, okay?
Oh, sure. I'm sorry.
Let me see it again.
Hmm? Kind of gray?
Gray?
No, no, don't tell me.
Beige?
I'd say that's
a chartreuse.
Chartreuse?
I'm a little color deficient
in the blue, green range.
I'll just look around, okay?
Sure.
Hi.
Hi!
Welcome home.
Oh.
Give me this.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, don't take that off.
Let's go out.
Let's go to The Brick
and eat.
Oh, no. I just want to take my shoes off
and relax. We can whip up something here.
Well, you know, Dave makes this
really great chicken fried steak.
You'd love it.
Hi, Mandy girl,
you miss me?
And rhubarb pie.
You like rhubarb pie?
How's your allergy?
Oh, good. I took a pill.
You know, I had a great
day. I got to the eights.
The eights?
Around the 300 millionth
decimal place.
You get this string of eight
eights, right out of the blue.
Eight eights,
right in a row.
Wow. Eight eights?
Yeah.
That must mean something.
Chudnovsky says no.
But he's only computed pi to
a little over a billion digits.
That's a drop
in the bucket.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
You did it,
didn't you?
You cleaned Pete's cage.
What?
You cleaned Pete's cage.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't have
to do that.
Oh, yes, I did.
Oh.
Come on, Petey, my little boy.
Come on, my little thing.
Hello. Come on.
Now, you thank Uncle Chris for making
your little home all spick-and-span.
What about pasta?
I think I've got a couple of cans of
sliced clams. We can make linguine.
And I think I've got
a bottle of Chianti. Yes!
Ah, it works. Great.
Ja. Ja.
Try the telephoto.
Okay.
See, the contraction from the drop in
temperature had damaged the steel shutter.
So it wasn't
rotating properly.
Hey, this is great.
Ja.
Hey, Rolf, run over there
on the snowmobile...
and then I'm gonna
take some shots of you.
Okay.
Oh, great!
Watch! Watch this!
That's good.
Hey you!
We got a problem. Get in.
See you later, Rolf.
Ice?
In the freezer.
You got any aspirin?
Yeah.
Are you all right?
Amy didn't notice
the new bird.
Good for you.
No, that's bad for me.
Very bad for me.
I thought
that's what you wanted.
Me, too.
I blew it, Ruth-Anne.
I really blew it.
Because you fooled her.
It's a no-win situation when you
try to fool somebody you love.
You end up hating yourself, and having no
respect for her because she was taken in.
I don't know if she would've loved
me more or less for killing that bird.
I beg your pardon?
You see, we say to people all the time,
Ruth-Anne, "I'd love you no matter what.
"If you were rich, poor,
black, white, thin or fat. "
That's not how it works,
is it Ruth-Anne?
No, 'cause love doesn't exist in
a vacuum, it exists in a context.
Okay?
You see, I fell in love with
a woman whose dog I ran over.
And she fell in love with me.
The guy who ran over the dog.
Don't you realize what I did when
I lied to her about that parakeet?
No.
I took our love
out of context.
Well, I have recalibrated
the drive wheel pinion...
and I have made a very slight
adjustment to the top pallet.
I assume, then,
it'll work properly?
Ja.
And accurately?
Well, more or less, ja.
What the hell does that
mean, "more or less"?
Well, a weight-driven
clock of this age...
can be expected to gain or lose
approximately six to eight minutes a day.
Six to eight minutes a day? Do you
have any idea how much I paid for that?
Ja. 130,000 deutsche marks.
That's $80,000 American.
Are you telling me that for
$80,000 I can't get a clock...
that keeps proper time?
Well, Mr. Minnifield, you do not buy
a clock like that for its accuracy.
Don't give me that! I appreciate
art as much as the next guy.
But when I pay top dollar, I
expect both form and function!
That is totally absurd.
What?
And vulgar.
Hey!
No, Mr. Minnifield. I bring you
this magnificent clock here...
and you want to quibble.
Quibble over a few minutes.
Now, you look here!
I will not be hoodwinked by some
pipsqueak, Aryan, cabbage head!
You fix that clock!
There is nothing to fix. There
is nothing wrong with it, sir.
You are the one that's
screwed up in the head.
Now, you watch
your mouth there, Fritz...
or you'll be
missing a few teeth.
Okay.
Okay, Mr. Big Shot guy.
Okay, I'm taking her back.
Back?
Ja, you do not deserve
a clock like this.
You're damn right.
I deserve one that works.
Oh, my-
You're so
incredibly bourgeois.
You are a self-satisfied
bürgermeister.
I don't care what you do with the
clock, as long as I get my money back.
Don't fret, Herr Minnifield.
You'll get every pfennig.
You bet your
Nordic hiney, I will.
Hi, it's me.
Hey, come on in.
I didn't expect you back.
There's still some pasta left.
No, I'm not hungry.
How about some salad,
or bread, or...
No. No, Amy.
I got to
tell you something.
Yeah?
That's not Pete.
What?
It's not?
No.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Where is Pete?
Pete's dead.
Pete's dead?
I fed him,
and he died.
You killed Pete?
Well, I wouldn't
put it like that.
But he was fine
until you fed him.
Yeah.
Do you hate me?
No.
Why are you
killing my pets?
That's a very good question.
I don't have an easy answer.
Is it going to continue?
I don't know, Amy.
I mean, I don't know if it's
a pattern or if it's random.
I mean, is the future carved in
stone or do we create our own destiny?
I don't know, I just...
I know I don't want
to lose you.
I don't want
to lose you either.
Okay. Good.
But this is a problem.
Now, these are my pets,
not yours.
I'm the one
that's experiencing the loss.
Right, right.
I don't want to feel
like a victim here.
Of course not.
Because if I continue
to feel victimized then...
You end up hating me.
Now, a healthy relationship
is like an equation.
It has to be equal
on both sides.
One plus one is two.
And if we want
this relationship to work...
We'll have to balance
the equation.
I don't have any pets.
Hmm.
Last call, Maurice.
Can I get you something?
Yeah, I'll have
another double.
Coming up.
Rolf get that clock
of yours fixed?
No. It can't be done.
Well, it's no mind. It's
a pretty thing to look at.
Yeah.
You know...
that clock was originally
made for a Bavarian prince.
Is that right?
Name was Offenbacher.
He's been dead 400 years.
Four hundred years...
yet, in the vast stretch
of time...
Offenbacher has barely begun
to be dead.
Interesting way
of looking at things.
I blink my eye
and a second's gone.
I turn my head
and a moment's passed.
It's almost like in the quiet
I can hear my life...
whistling past my ears.
It's like I'm riding
a rocket to oblivion.
You know, Maurice,
when I was a boy...
I used to sit
in my Mama's washtub...
cup my hands
and try to hold water.
No matter how tightly I squeezed
my fingers, I couldn't do it.
The water always
dribbled away.
Time is like that.
No matter
how hard you try...
it always leaks
through our fingers.
And, I'll tell
you something...
you think about
time too much...
you'll go crazy.
How long have you had this?
Five years.
It must have
cost a fortune.
Got it from a guy who lost
his appeal on a B and E.
Made it a full dresser myself.
Amy, look I'm all for this,
all right?
Believe me.
But, does the loss of this motorcycle
equal the loss of a parakeet or dog?
Of course not. Anything
would be an abstraction.
Even another dog. It's not the thing
itself, it's how you feel about it.
You love this, right?
Yeah.
That's what counts.
Lock the throttle.
Let's go!
How do you feel?
I don't know.
You?
Better.
Packing up
everything to go, huh?
Been thinking.
Changed my mind.
I'm keeping the clock.
Did you hear what I said?
I don't care.
I'm taking her back.
Look, Rolf...
you know and I know that if I wanted
to I could snap you like a twig.
That's not the point.
I could prevent you
from taking my clock.
But I'm hoping
that you'll voluntarily...
choose to leave it here.
How old are you?
26?
27?
I'm 26.
26.
You're immortal.
I was immortal
at that age.
I was so
profoundly immortal...
that I gladly volunteered to be
stuffed into a mercury capsule...
and hurled into space.
You know why?
Because the thought of my
death was inconceivable.
So, whether this clock gains or
loses six to eight minutes a day...
doesn't make a damn bit
of difference.
Time has it's own
agenda, Rolf.
There's no stopping it.
This magnificent clock...
will be keeping bad time long
after I'm just a footnote...
in the Smithsonian catalog.
But while I'm here...
I can take some comfort
in its beauty.
Recent events have...
set me to ponder
in that ontological riddle.
Life, is it random
or is it systematic?
Today, I opted
for the systematic approach.
Algebraic, if you will. "An eye
for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. "
Like most human beings, I'm just
trying to make sense of things.
I don't know
if I accomplished that.
I don't know
if anybody can.
You know, Isaac Newton...
he thought that the universe
functioned like clockwork.
Like a well-oiled machine.
That's a comforting vision.
It's neat, orderly,
predictable.
But it's a vision
that's pretty much...
been shot to pieces by relativity
and quantum mechanics...
and all the other bugaboos
of 20th century physics.
The universe
is a weird place.
We break our teeth
developing theories...
and equations, and systems.
And where does
it all leave us?
"A system is like
the tail of truth.
"The truth is like a lizard. It
leaves it's tail in your fingers...
"and runs away
knowing full well...
"it will grow
a new one in a twinkling. "
I don't know,
what're you gonna do?
Maybe next time I'll get
a Blockhead Harley...
1,340 cc's.
Anybody out there looking to
unload one, give me a call, huh?
Oh, man!
I'm sorry, he just was
beyond my help.
I just...
I thought, you know,
maybe he had a chance.
Well, death was pretty much
instantaneous, you know.
I mean, upon impact.
Which, if you think about it, it
was really a blessing, you know?
I mean, if he didn't
have to unduly suffer.
You okay?
Yeah, I've had some road
kills before, you know.
Places I've lived,
it's been unavoidable.
You know, a possum,
a marmot...
but this is a dog.
It's the purest form of
unconditional love that...
a man can know.
Well, it's not like
you did it on purpose.
You know these things happen. I
mean, they're out of our control.
Water?
Thanks, Marilyn.
Too bad.
Look, you're not to blame
in any way.
Chris, come on,
it was a freak accident.
Joel, the concept
of random death...
in an indifferent world
is one thing.
But to be the instrument
of that death...
A dog killer?
I don't suppose
you'd tell the owners?
All right.
Sorry, Chris.
Take it a little
to the right.
No, no, no, no, no.
To the left.
That's it.
Yeah.
I like that. Yeah.
Here you go, Ed,
much obliged.
Sorry, Maurice,
I don't have any change.
I don't expect any.
Don't spend it all
in one place.
Come on, move that television
over to that corner, would you?
Yes, sir.
There we go.
You know what's going
to go on here, Ed?
Nope.
A clock.
But not just
any clock. No, no.
No. This is a certified...
1572, weight driven
Augsburg carillon...
from the workshop
of Hans Schlotheim.
Huh.
It has magnificent
silver automata...
that show the day
of the week...
four stages of man,
Madonna and child.
And right at the very top...
a silver rooster...
that announces
the chime of the hour.
That sounds like
quite a show, Maurice.
Yeah, there hasn't been a clock
of this magnitude on the market...
for eight years.
When I saw it in the Gebruder
Hofmannsthal catalog...
I was thunderstruck.
It was a silent auction.
I bid high...
but I got it.
Congratulations,
Maurice.
Thank you, Ed.
Have you ever considered what the
world was like before we had clocks?
Not really.
We were the ignorant
victims of time.
We were buffeted
by the seasons...
swept along
by the amorphous sludge of...
day, night.
We had no hours,
no minutes.
No definition.
No way to grab hold
of our passing lives.
Until this tamed time.
Put us in
the driver's seat.
Wow.
Look, Ed, why don't you go in there...
and get yourself
some milk and cookies, huh?
Thank you, Maurice.
Oh, my God.
It's so picturesque...
so intense...
so fantastisch.
Ja.
Hello, Red.
Hey, Maurice.
The feeling here
is absolutely raw, naked.
Who's that?
Rolf Hauser.
The Rolf Hauser from
Gebruder Hofmannsthal?
Ja.
They said they were
sending an expert.
A highly trained specialist
to install my clock.
Ja. I am he.
My preflight out of Anchorage,
my altimeter's on the fritz.
He fixes it.
Takes it apart and
fixes it, right there.
You know, it was really
a simple problem.
It required a minor adjustment
of the...
the aneroid...
How do you call in English?
Wafers.
Ja. Ja,
the aneroid wafers.
Well, what about my clock?
She's right here.
Well, let's
get her inside, huh?
You heard him.
Nice dog.
Good boy.
Can I help you?
Hi.
My name is Chris Stevens.
I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
Yeah?
I killed your dog.
I don't have a dog.
You don't?
Rusty? 438 Alder?
Who is it, Lenny?
Hi.
Hi.
You here to see me?
Yeah, I think so.
Amy Lochner.
Chris.
Well, come in, please.
Sure.
Excuse the mess.
I'm rewiring. I needed more
juice for the computers.
Oh, no! Ted, come on.
Get off of there.
What do you do?
Math.
Well, really more
number theory.
I'm working on pi
for my dissertation.
Pi?
The circumference,
diameter thing?
Mmm-hmm. 3.141592653.
And so on and so on
and so on and...
Yeah, yeah, the numbers
keep spooling on for...
forever and ever.
Right.
I study other transcendental numbers,
but I don't know, there's just...
something about pi.
I think it's
the circle.
The continuum, you know,
the mystery of the infinite.
Non-Euclidean geometry?
Not really.
I like to think about
things now and then.
You can't avoid a little
math here and there.
Yeah, well,
pi fools you.
It seems to be just a
random sequence of numbers-
Right, but it can't be because the
relationship of the circumference...
and diameter never changes.
Well, exactly. The
sequence is always the same.
You know, I just have this
feeling that if I could take pi...
well, past all this static...
take pi to 10 million,
20 million digits...
then I'd find something
really incredible.
Not just a pattern,
not just an order, but a...
What? What? Say it.
A sign.
A mathematical sign.
Like a message from God?
Yes.
So?
So?
You came
to tell me something?
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
He killed your dog.
Mr. Minnifield...
when she first came to us
she had been totally abused.
She had been in a chimney for 50 years.
What?
A chimney, in Leipzig.
She'd been hidden there
during the war.
Oh!
Look, can we turn
that thing down?
No problem.
See, there was extensive
damage in here...
because of the water and
the smoke from the chimney.
See this, right here? The entire
verge escapement was fused.
Okay.
And the count wheel
of the hour striking train...
was completely useless.
So, what did I do?
I duplicated one quart from
one quarter inch brass sheeting.
Uh-huh.
Ja.
Now, this here...
took me three months just
to redo this whole panel.
It was...
It was extremely difficult
to create a copper alloy...
that would match
this perfectly...
but I think in the end
I was quite successful.
You know...
you're not at all
what I expected.
I pictured
your typical technokraut.
You know, white coat,
steel-rimmed glasses...
stick up the butt.
That sort of thing.
But you did...
My, you did an outstanding
job. This is beautiful.
Nein, nein, nein, nein,
Mr. Minnifield...
there are some things
we should talk about first.
First of all, you must try and avoid
wide fluctuations in temperature, okay?
And try and keep the humidity
as low as you can.
All right.
Okay, now, if you friends desire
to take a photograph of the clock...
please ask them to do so
without the flash attachments.
Right.
No flash attachments.
All right.
Now, here
I have prepared a list...
of instructions for the proper
maintenance and care of the clock.
I would like your assurance that
you are going to abide by them.
Oh. Sure. Yeah,
you have it.
Okay.
Mr. Minnifield...
I would like to
present you with this.
Thank you.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Joel.
You talk to the owner?
Yeah. Amy.
How'd it go?
Great.
I can't speak for her,
but for me...
this incredible mind
in this incredible body.
I'm in love.
You fell in love with the
woman whose pet you murdered?
Joel, did you know that
Dostoyevsky was an epileptic?
Yeah, I think
I read that somewhere.
Well, he once described the
sensation he'd experience...
right before having a seizure.
It was a feeling of...
impending revelation, as if he
were about to learn a great truth.
Like the universe was poised before
him ready to reveal its secrets...
and then, bam, man!
He'd hit the mat.
Yeah?
Well, I realize now
what Dostoyevsky meant.
You know, standing there
in Amy's presence, I felt...
I felt the same elation, the
same breathless anticipation...
you know what I mean?
Chris, you killed her dog.
There's no rules for this.
There's no social precedents.
What am I supposed to do?
Beats me.
What about
the cosmic significance, hmm?
Was Rusty just
a sacrificial lamb...
I ask myself?
A chess piece...
whose only purpose on earth
was to bring us together?
Or is there a darker
and more ominous meaning?
Was he
the first shoe to drop?
A domino
in a chain of events...
that will lead
to our mutual annihilation.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, boys.
How you doing?
Nice dogs. Friendly.
How you doing, boy?
Hi.
Hi.
That's Rusty?
Yeah.
He like this tree. He used to come
out here every morning and, you know...
use it. I thought I'd
plant some primroses.
Maybe some crocuses.
Mmm-hmm.
I got you
some things, here.
Well, it's more for them,
really. Yeah! Go get 'em, boys.
Yeah! Yeah.
They like them.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Well...
You know, I got a buddy up in Aniak...
and his dog
just had pups.
Cute, you know,
a little furry.
They're good dogs.
They've been dewormed...
and they've had
all their shots.
You know, I'd like
to get you one.
If you don't...
You know,
if it'll be okay?
No. Thank you.
Probably too soon.
Well, I guess I'd better
get going then.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
There's one more thing.
Okay?
I'm incredibly attracted
to you.
I know that we didn't get off on a good
foot here with Rusty and everything...
but believe me,
I'm...
I'm racked with guilt.
Is there...
Is there, like, any chance that
you and I, we could get together?
Oh, okay.
All right?
All right.
Okay. Good. All right.
Thank you.
Cool.
Ja. Lock it down!
You want to explain to me
the appeal of that?
What, the music?
Music?
Yeah, if you want to call it
that, I'll be broad-minded.
Viscera.
Viscera?
Ja. From the guts, you know?
Bratwurst special
and boiled potatoes.
Thank you, thank you.
You're welcome.
Patty melt.
Well, I'll get you
some ketchup.
You like the chow, huh?
Mmm-hmm.
I admire the German people.
In spite of their jingoistic
fascist tendencies...
or maybe because of them...
they're very exacting...
precise...
and extremely consistent.
Now, when you buy German...
Daimler Benz or Braun...
Henckels, anything...
you get quality merchandise.
Listen.
Hear that lead?
Anyway, what I was
saying was...
that life is so
unpredictable, you know...
cancer, earthquakes.
What?
This is unspeakable.
What, the beer?
Ja. Tastes like wasser.
Excuse me.
Sure.
Hi.
Hello.
Are you an Indian?
Uh-huh. 50-50.
Oh, that's fabulous.
"I am Wind In His Hair. Do
you see that I am your friend?
"Do you see that I will
always be your friend?"
Dances with Wolves.
Ja.
Ja, ja,
that's my favorite movie. Ja.
You Indians are
so visceral.
Thanks.
Ja.
You wanna play?
Ja!
Okay.
This is cool.
Joker! Joker!
Joker! Joker!
Just a sec.
Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
Watch your head, there.
You look great.
Thanks.
This is for you.
Cat?
The wine.
Oh, right.
Oh, red. I love red.
I hope it's okay,
I had to bring Mandy...
because she's got
a little conjunctivitis...
and I've got to give her
some drops.
And I had to bring Ted 'cause
if I take Mandy someplace...
and I don't take Ted,
he sprays the house.
I'll just leave him
in his box.
And I'll open
this wine, and...
Oh, please, sit down.
I really shouldn't have so many
animals. It's hard on the computers.
Oh, yeah?
The way they shed.
No matter what I do, the
hair gets in the disk drives.
Last week
my whole system crashed.
I just have this thing
about animals.
I look into those trusting,
sentient eyes...
Oh, no, no, I...
I wasn't implying...
Believe me, that wasn't
pointed at you.
What you did
was an accident.
It could've happened
to anybody. I know that.
And I'm doing my best...
to put it behind me.
To transcendental numbers?
Mmm.
You know, Chris, all that
stuff I said about pi?
Yeah?
I meant every word.
When I was
in graduate school...
there were just
so many choices.
There was fractal geometry,
imaginary numbers...
nonlinear
differential equations.
Nothing felt right.
And then one day I walked
into the computer lab...
and someone was
running pi, and...
I stared at
that monitor...
and all those numbers
dancing across the screen.
At that moment, I knew.
I just knew.
Are you okay?
I'm just a little allergic.
To cats?
Yeah, it's no problem,
though.
Oh.
Just a little.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I don't know
what this is...
or why this is, Amy,
but I'm...
I'm tumbling for you
in a big way.
You know what I mean?
I'm plummeting off
the edge of the earth.
And that there cat's
not gonna break my fall.
Oh, God...
you never heard of
Einsturzende Neubauten?
Nope.
Partynummer?
Armenia II?
Uh-uh.
Blixa Bargeld,
he's like lead guitar.
Most charismatic,
very incredible...
like Pete Townsend.
I'll get you a tape.
Oh, thanks.
Do you have any artifacts?
Any masks, furs?
Harpoons?
You know, I did
have a walrus tusk.
Ja?
I'm not sure
where it is right now.
You know, in the auction
house where I work...
we do quite a lively trade
in Indian artifacts.
Particularly Navajo pots.
Huh?
Ja.
These are good,
by the way.
Would you like to watch a tape? Ja!
You know, I've got some really
good films about Germans here.
Marathon Man. Laurence
Olivier plays Dr. Mengele.
I saw that one, ja.
Boys of Brazil.
Gregory Peck, this time,
playing Dr. Mengele.
Playing for Time.
This is really good.
Course, I can't remember who
plays Dr. Mengele in this one.
Vanessa Redgrave, ja.
I like her.
She's very mannish.
Tell me, Rolf?
Ja?
How does it feel to
always be the bad guy?
I mean, in the movies.
Who cares?
Do you have Cape Fear?
Yep.
And I have the original...
by J. Lee Thompson.
Ja.
Wow, you have quite
an extensive library here.
I'm a filmmaker.
Really?
Well, sort of.
Well, actually, things have been
kind of on hold for a while...
on account of
I left my camera...
on the windowsill
last March...
when we had that little cold snap. Ja.
And it's just
not really worked since.
May I see it?
Yeah.
Oh, it's a Bolex.
It's a remarkable camera.
Hey.
Hi, Chris.
Hi.
I brought breakfast.
Cocoa Puffs
and sugar Frosted Flakes.
Oh, I'm sorry, I can't.
I gotta go. I'm late.
I booked time
in Anchorage on a YMP8.
It's a supercomputer.
A gigaflop.
It can perform more than 2 billion
floating point operations per second.
Could you grab
those for me, please?
Yeah. That sounds great.
I missed you last night.
I couldn't sleep.
Me, too. I laid awake all
night and stared at the ceiling.
Yeah?
Yeah.
No, really, I can't.
I'm very late.
Oh, I still have
to feed the dogs...
the cat, the fish,
the birds.
That's okay. I'll do it. Go ahead.
Oh, no. That's okay.
No, no, no,
I don't mind.
You mean it?
It would be my pleasure.
All right.
You are truly great.
No more.
Bye.
Bye.
Drive safe, now.
Come on, boys!
Hi, there.
Hi. Here's your food.
Chow down.
You want some food, too,
little bird?
Here you go.
Huh? What do you want?
You want some food?
I know you do.
How you doing,
little bird?
Little bird?
Ruth-Anne!
I'm back here.
Hand me that lure, dear.
Thank you.
I don't know what's going on here.
I don't know what's happening.
Look at this.
That's a dead bird.
All I did was feed it.
I gave it some seed. You know,
maybe this is a coincidence.
Maybe this doesn't have
anything to do with me at all.
Maybe this bird died
of natural causes.
You know, an illness,
a heart attack?
I just happened
to be there, right?
You killed her bird, too?
No, no, no, darling,
I didn't kill her bird.
But what's Amy
gonna think? Hmm?
First the dog,
now the bird.
She's gonna think
I did it on purpose.
And, you know,
maybe she's right.
I mean, who knows what kind of
evil forces are driving me to kill.
Some deep-seated
hatred towards women?
A death wish
of my own, maybe?
I'm afraid
I wouldn't know.
Well, I don't have time to stand
here with you and analyze it.
I need a replacement, okay?
What?
You're going to try
to pull a switch?
Yes.
What?
Disregarding any possible
moral issues, Chris...
it won't work.
Why not, Ruth-Anne?
Because people
know their pets.
Of course they do when they're a couple
of rungs up on the evolutionary ladder.
This isn't an Irish setter who brings
your slippers. This is a parakeet.
They're practically
non-interactive.
I just need
a good match.
Don't look at me
like that, Ruth-Anne.
You don't know
what's at stake here.
I'm in love.
Well, Maurice, it certainly
is a magnificent thing.
Really bitching.
Wait till it
chimes the hour.
When this baby
goes into action...
it'll take your breath away.
I guarantee it.
Cool.
Now, an occasion
like this...
seemed to call
for a bottle of port.
I've decanted a bottle
of Quinta Do Noval, '63.
It's one of the best vintages
in the past 50 years.
Taste it.
See what you think.
Tastes like Robitussin.
Well, it's a bit
on the sweet side.
Well, have some walnuts and
Stilton. It'll compliment the taste.
Okay.
You know, the real beauty
of the mechanical clock...
the revolutionary impact
was its exactitude.
The clock's ability
to divide the day...
exactly into hours.
Oh, yeah.
The hours into minutes.
The minutes into seconds.
The clock provides a chart...
a map.
Think about it.
You can look at a clock at
any hour of the day or night...
and know exactly
where you are.
Huh.
That's weird.
What?
I got 10 after.
Well, your watch is fast.
I got 10 after, too.
Well, you're
both wrong.
This is a Swatch.
It's never wrong.
I'm sure that German fellow
can fix it up for you.
Walnut, babe?
Yeah, thank you.
This cheese is delicious.
Got a lot
of birds here, Lucky.
They sneak up on you.
Buy a pair and nurse one
with a broken wing...
take another in
as a favor to a friend.
Before you know it,
your home's an aviary.
Can't turn them out,
you see.
If the owls didn't get them,
the cold would.
You sure
you only want one?
Oh, yeah.
Now, before you say that, you
ought to take a look at this macaw.
They talk, you know.
Make for good company.
No, thanks.
You know, the thing is, I feel
I've lost control of the situation.
They're running my life.
My time is not my own.
I spend all of it feeding
them, cleaning up after them.
I have no friends any more.
No one will come to call.
Well, look it, Lucky, I don't want
to sound unsympathetic, you know, but-
I don't see a way out.
I don't know where to turn.
I'm under the gun here, buddy.
I need a good match, okay?
Oh, sure. I'm sorry.
Let me see it again.
Hmm? Kind of gray?
Gray?
No, no, don't tell me.
Beige?
I'd say that's
a chartreuse.
Chartreuse?
I'm a little color deficient
in the blue, green range.
I'll just look around, okay?
Sure.
Hi.
Hi!
Welcome home.
Oh.
Give me this.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, don't take that off.
Let's go out.
Let's go to The Brick
and eat.
Oh, no. I just want to take my shoes off
and relax. We can whip up something here.
Well, you know, Dave makes this
really great chicken fried steak.
You'd love it.
Hi, Mandy girl,
you miss me?
And rhubarb pie.
You like rhubarb pie?
How's your allergy?
Oh, good. I took a pill.
You know, I had a great
day. I got to the eights.
The eights?
Around the 300 millionth
decimal place.
You get this string of eight
eights, right out of the blue.
Eight eights,
right in a row.
Wow. Eight eights?
Yeah.
That must mean something.
Chudnovsky says no.
But he's only computed pi to
a little over a billion digits.
That's a drop
in the bucket.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
You did it,
didn't you?
You cleaned Pete's cage.
What?
You cleaned Pete's cage.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't have
to do that.
Oh, yes, I did.
Oh.
Come on, Petey, my little boy.
Come on, my little thing.
Hello. Come on.
Now, you thank Uncle Chris for making
your little home all spick-and-span.
What about pasta?
I think I've got a couple of cans of
sliced clams. We can make linguine.
And I think I've got
a bottle of Chianti. Yes!
Ah, it works. Great.
Ja. Ja.
Try the telephoto.
Okay.
See, the contraction from the drop in
temperature had damaged the steel shutter.
So it wasn't
rotating properly.
Hey, this is great.
Ja.
Hey, Rolf, run over there
on the snowmobile...
and then I'm gonna
take some shots of you.
Okay.
Oh, great!
Watch! Watch this!
That's good.
Hey you!
We got a problem. Get in.
See you later, Rolf.
Ice?
In the freezer.
You got any aspirin?
Yeah.
Are you all right?
Amy didn't notice
the new bird.
Good for you.
No, that's bad for me.
Very bad for me.
I thought
that's what you wanted.
Me, too.
I blew it, Ruth-Anne.
I really blew it.
Because you fooled her.
It's a no-win situation when you
try to fool somebody you love.
You end up hating yourself, and having no
respect for her because she was taken in.
I don't know if she would've loved
me more or less for killing that bird.
I beg your pardon?
You see, we say to people all the time,
Ruth-Anne, "I'd love you no matter what.
"If you were rich, poor,
black, white, thin or fat. "
That's not how it works,
is it Ruth-Anne?
No, 'cause love doesn't exist in
a vacuum, it exists in a context.
Okay?
You see, I fell in love with
a woman whose dog I ran over.
And she fell in love with me.
The guy who ran over the dog.
Don't you realize what I did when
I lied to her about that parakeet?
No.
I took our love
out of context.
Well, I have recalibrated
the drive wheel pinion...
and I have made a very slight
adjustment to the top pallet.
I assume, then,
it'll work properly?
Ja.
And accurately?
Well, more or less, ja.
What the hell does that
mean, "more or less"?
Well, a weight-driven
clock of this age...
can be expected to gain or lose
approximately six to eight minutes a day.
Six to eight minutes a day? Do you
have any idea how much I paid for that?
Ja. 130,000 deutsche marks.
That's $80,000 American.
Are you telling me that for
$80,000 I can't get a clock...
that keeps proper time?
Well, Mr. Minnifield, you do not buy
a clock like that for its accuracy.
Don't give me that! I appreciate
art as much as the next guy.
But when I pay top dollar, I
expect both form and function!
That is totally absurd.
What?
And vulgar.
Hey!
No, Mr. Minnifield. I bring you
this magnificent clock here...
and you want to quibble.
Quibble over a few minutes.
Now, you look here!
I will not be hoodwinked by some
pipsqueak, Aryan, cabbage head!
You fix that clock!
There is nothing to fix. There
is nothing wrong with it, sir.
You are the one that's
screwed up in the head.
Now, you watch
your mouth there, Fritz...
or you'll be
missing a few teeth.
Okay.
Okay, Mr. Big Shot guy.
Okay, I'm taking her back.
Back?
Ja, you do not deserve
a clock like this.
You're damn right.
I deserve one that works.
Oh, my-
You're so
incredibly bourgeois.
You are a self-satisfied
bürgermeister.
I don't care what you do with the
clock, as long as I get my money back.
Don't fret, Herr Minnifield.
You'll get every pfennig.
You bet your
Nordic hiney, I will.
Hi, it's me.
Hey, come on in.
I didn't expect you back.
There's still some pasta left.
No, I'm not hungry.
How about some salad,
or bread, or...
No. No, Amy.
I got to
tell you something.
Yeah?
That's not Pete.
What?
It's not?
No.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Where is Pete?
Pete's dead.
Pete's dead?
I fed him,
and he died.
You killed Pete?
Well, I wouldn't
put it like that.
But he was fine
until you fed him.
Yeah.
Do you hate me?
No.
Why are you
killing my pets?
That's a very good question.
I don't have an easy answer.
Is it going to continue?
I don't know, Amy.
I mean, I don't know if it's
a pattern or if it's random.
I mean, is the future carved in
stone or do we create our own destiny?
I don't know, I just...
I know I don't want
to lose you.
I don't want
to lose you either.
Okay. Good.
But this is a problem.
Now, these are my pets,
not yours.
I'm the one
that's experiencing the loss.
Right, right.
I don't want to feel
like a victim here.
Of course not.
Because if I continue
to feel victimized then...
You end up hating me.
Now, a healthy relationship
is like an equation.
It has to be equal
on both sides.
One plus one is two.
And if we want
this relationship to work...
We'll have to balance
the equation.
I don't have any pets.
Hmm.
Last call, Maurice.
Can I get you something?
Yeah, I'll have
another double.
Coming up.
Rolf get that clock
of yours fixed?
No. It can't be done.
Well, it's no mind. It's
a pretty thing to look at.
Yeah.
You know...
that clock was originally
made for a Bavarian prince.
Is that right?
Name was Offenbacher.
He's been dead 400 years.
Four hundred years...
yet, in the vast stretch
of time...
Offenbacher has barely begun
to be dead.
Interesting way
of looking at things.
I blink my eye
and a second's gone.
I turn my head
and a moment's passed.
It's almost like in the quiet
I can hear my life...
whistling past my ears.
It's like I'm riding
a rocket to oblivion.
You know, Maurice,
when I was a boy...
I used to sit
in my Mama's washtub...
cup my hands
and try to hold water.
No matter how tightly I squeezed
my fingers, I couldn't do it.
The water always
dribbled away.
Time is like that.
No matter
how hard you try...
it always leaks
through our fingers.
And, I'll tell
you something...
you think about
time too much...
you'll go crazy.
How long have you had this?
Five years.
It must have
cost a fortune.
Got it from a guy who lost
his appeal on a B and E.
Made it a full dresser myself.
Amy, look I'm all for this,
all right?
Believe me.
But, does the loss of this motorcycle
equal the loss of a parakeet or dog?
Of course not. Anything
would be an abstraction.
Even another dog. It's not the thing
itself, it's how you feel about it.
You love this, right?
Yeah.
That's what counts.
Lock the throttle.
Let's go!
How do you feel?
I don't know.
You?
Better.
Packing up
everything to go, huh?
Been thinking.
Changed my mind.
I'm keeping the clock.
Did you hear what I said?
I don't care.
I'm taking her back.
Look, Rolf...
you know and I know that if I wanted
to I could snap you like a twig.
That's not the point.
I could prevent you
from taking my clock.
But I'm hoping
that you'll voluntarily...
choose to leave it here.
How old are you?
26?
27?
I'm 26.
26.
You're immortal.
I was immortal
at that age.
I was so
profoundly immortal...
that I gladly volunteered to be
stuffed into a mercury capsule...
and hurled into space.
You know why?
Because the thought of my
death was inconceivable.
So, whether this clock gains or
loses six to eight minutes a day...
doesn't make a damn bit
of difference.
Time has it's own
agenda, Rolf.
There's no stopping it.
This magnificent clock...
will be keeping bad time long
after I'm just a footnote...
in the Smithsonian catalog.
But while I'm here...
I can take some comfort
in its beauty.
Recent events have...
set me to ponder
in that ontological riddle.
Life, is it random
or is it systematic?
Today, I opted
for the systematic approach.
Algebraic, if you will. "An eye
for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. "
Like most human beings, I'm just
trying to make sense of things.
I don't know
if I accomplished that.
I don't know
if anybody can.
You know, Isaac Newton...
he thought that the universe
functioned like clockwork.
Like a well-oiled machine.
That's a comforting vision.
It's neat, orderly,
predictable.
But it's a vision
that's pretty much...
been shot to pieces by relativity
and quantum mechanics...
and all the other bugaboos
of 20th century physics.
The universe
is a weird place.
We break our teeth
developing theories...
and equations, and systems.
And where does
it all leave us?
"A system is like
the tail of truth.
"The truth is like a lizard. It
leaves it's tail in your fingers...
"and runs away
knowing full well...
"it will grow
a new one in a twinkling. "
I don't know,
what're you gonna do?
Maybe next time I'll get
a Blockhead Harley...
1,340 cc's.
Anybody out there looking to
unload one, give me a call, huh?