Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 4, Episode 15 - Learning Curve - full transcript
Holling decides to finish high school; Marilyn goes to Seattle on vacation.
You know...
Marilyn, by now, nothing should
surprise me around here...
but someone seems
to have left a stepladder...
standing out there
in the middle of the street.
One of those really tall ones,
like 12 feet tall maybe.
It's just standing there...
in the middle of the street.
I mean, why?
What could they possibly
have been reaching for?
I mean, not that it's a traffic hazard.
I mean,
what traffic, right?
Right, well,
I'll be in my office...
in the event that a patient
should choose to darken our door.
I'm going on a vacation.
You are what?
My check came in.
What are you talking about?
What check?
From our corporation.
You have a corporation?
The Indians do.
The Indians have
a corporation?
$5,000!
Uh-huh.
How? I mean,
where does this come from?
Different things.
Oil, timber, mutual funds.
How often do you get these?
Every six months.
Twice a year?
Twice a year you get
a check for $5,000?
Sometimes less.
Mutual funds did
well this quarter.
$5,000.
I'm going to Seattle.
What?
The gateway to Alaska.
I want an adventure.
Holling? Holling?
You seen my leg warmers?
You know,
the ones with the pink tops...
and the green
and white stripes?
I got them last year.
Holling?
Sorry, Shel, I couldn't
hear you over the water.
What is it you're missing?
Look what was shoved
under our bed.
Some kid's school stuff.
Oh.
Whose is it? How did
it get in our bedroom?
Well...
Walt Beauchamp was up here
last week snaking the drains.
Little Walt was with him.
Why would he shove
his books under our bed?
And you'd think he would have
missed them by now.
I better give him a call.
Shelly.
Yeah, babe.
I'm afraid
these things are mine.
These are yours?
That's right.
I thought it was about time I
finished up with my schooling.
High school.
Wow.
I would have figured
a dude as old as you...
would have finished
high school eons ago.
Well, I would have,
but the truth is, you see...
the summer of '43, a buddy of
mine, name of Lon Guysbert, and I...
we had a chance to lay railroad
timbers outside of Dawson instead.
Paid top dollar.
And you never graduated.
The truth is, well, I feel
you deserve the best, Shel...
straight across the board, and
the best means having a man...
with a proper
high school education.
I was going
to surprise you...
once I actually
got my diploma.
And you're hitting the books
again after all this time.
Just for me?
That is so cool.
And you are going
to do it, too, Holling.
Because you're no doofus
like Randy Tater.
Who?
Randy Tater.
He dropped out of high school
before the end of 11th grade.
He was as big
as Hulk Hogan, only bigger.
He decided he was going to
move south and play for the NFL.
Maybe he could have
done it, too.
Except he got tanked at this
party and fell off the front porch.
Totally trashed his knee.
No high school diploma,
no NFL.
Now he's a bagboy
at Safeway...
and the only uniform
he's wearing...
is one of those aprons
and little bow ties.
Hon, like
the Fresh Prince says...
"Don't be a fool,
stay in school. "
Come in.
Hello, Marilyn.
Hi.
How you doing?
Good.
I brought you
a few things for your trip.
You see, despite not having any money...
I've actually done a fair
amount of traveling...
and I thought that you could
benefit from my experience.
See, unless you have
someone to tell you...
there are just certain things
that you wouldn't know about.
Well, you're all packed, huh?
Okay.
This is a neck pillow, believe
it or not, for the plane, okay.
It's inflatable,
and it secures your head...
so that when you're in an upright
position you can sleep better.
Okay?
Here we have Bazooka Joe.
This will neutralize the
pressure in your inner ear, okay.
It's a popping
that you'll feel...
when you take off and when
you land. It's a good thing.
All right, now this is
very important.
This is a money belt,
all right?
Now, you put your traveler's
checks in here, right?
And this way, if your purse
gets snatched, God forbid...
you won't lose
all your money, okay?
You did get traveler's
checks, didn't you?
No.
Look, muggers, okay, they
smell cash on people. They do.
They sniff it out,
and they lock on, all right?
With traveler's checks, you
can get your funds replaced.
I want an adventure.
Yes, I know you do.
You deserve it,
I understand.
But it should be a safe one that
you can enjoy, don't you think?
I mean, just going to a
big city is an adventure.
And I know, granted Seattle
is not New York, I mean...
I wouldn't even let you go to
New York by yourself. I wouldn't.
But still, these urban
problems and dangers...
they go on everywhere.
I mean, even me. I mean, look,
I'm born and bred in the city...
and even I can be
vulnerable to it.
One time, I'm walking along Riverside
Drive, it's like 10:00 p. m...
okay, and these two guys
are coming in my direction...
on the other side
of the street.
Well, they cross over, and, you know,
I mean, my radar should have gone off...
but you know, who knows?
I could have been thinking about
the Munch exhibit at the Met...
and, well,
they had a screwdriver...
and the next thing I know, they
have my wallet and my watch.
And I'm not telling
you this to alarm you.
You will have a very fine
time. I mean, you will.
If you just follow
a few simple rules.
Now the first one is,
number one, okay...
don't look anyone
in the eye.
Like that. Don't.
It's a challenge.
I don't know.
It's like a primal thing, and
a lot of these city dwellers...
they exist on a very rudimentary
and primal level, okay?
And look, excuse me,
something like this.
If you insist on carrying
a purse like this...
loop the strap around your
wrist, like so, okay...
and hold it
close to your body.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay, here.
I've arranged for a Town Car
to meet you at the airport.
Yeah, and you're booked
into a very nice...
and it's reasonably priced
and centrally located, hotel.
The concierge,
a Miss Schroeder, okay?
So I guess that's it.
Also, why don't you give me a
call when you get there, okay?
No need to thank me,
I mean...
I think as your employer...
I'd be remiss if I didn't
concern myself with your welfare.
Okay?
Just promise me that
you'll do what I told you.
I want an adventure.
"I pledge allegiance
to the flag...
"of the United States
of America.
"And to the republic
for which it stands...
"one nation, under God...
"indivisible with liberty
and justice for all. "
Okay, well, I graded the homework
that you sent me last week...
and on the whole
you all did very, very well.
And the past tense
of lie is lay, I-a-y.
Okay?
You're doing beautifully on your
spelling. You just keep that up, okay?
Okay, Holling...
you're still beginning too
many sentences with participles.
You're also overusing
the passive voice.
And here the colon and the
semi-colon are not interchangeable.
Yes, ma'am, Miss Harris.
If you'd like, and you
want to stay after class...
I'd be glad to help you
with punctuation.
Yes, ma'am.
Now before I forget, I'd like
to ask the 10 to 12 graders...
to do an essay
for tomorrow.
And the subject will be...
"The most exciting thing that
happened to me last summer. "
Okay?
Not less than two pages.
And in addition
to the new vocabulary words...
I want two similes
and two metaphors.
All right, now we're going
to move on to math review...
and we're going to start
with multiplication...
we're gonna
move on to long division...
and then we're going
to work with decimals.
First off here,
we have 84 times 37.
What is the product?
Holling.
3,108.
3,108.
That's exactly right.
What is this?
Well, that's
how I figure, ma'am.
With your fingers?
When I was just a pup, a fellow
came to town with a medicine show.
He taught me how to do it.
Really? I've-
The good thing is...
there's no way
you can ever lose it.
234 times 511.
Well, that would be
119,000...
...574.
That's incredible.
I've really, I've never seen
anything like that before.
Well, thank you, ma'am.
You're welcome.
It's just that...
in the algebra and geometry
sections of the equivalency test...
they're going to want to
see all you're written work.
Oh.
Okay, we'll move on.
273 times 431.
What is the product?
Anyone?
Hello?
Fleischman, you here?
Hey, Fleischman.
Hey, Fleischman...
I need your signature
for these syringes and stuff.
All right.
Did you meet
that new teacher? Jane?
No.
Not that she's your type.
She flew support
in Desert Storm.
Besides, she's smart
and beautiful...
and just the kind of woman
that would intimidate you.
Well, good for her.
What's wrong
with you, Fleischman?
You seem bitter
and surly today.
What happened?
Did you lose a golf ball?
If you must know, it's Marilyn. Marilyn?
She's gone.
She went to Seattle, right?
Ostensibly. But the driver
said that she never showed.
Driver? What driver?
The one that I hired
to meet her at the airport.
So what's the big deal?
What's the big deal?
This is a woman who hasn't ventured
outside of a 200-mile radius...
of Cicely, Alaska.
She gets on a plane...
she flies alone into
a major urban metropolis...
where she neither meets her
driver nor checks into her hotel...
that's the big deal.
She's a grown woman,
Fleischman.
Oh, boy.
What?
This is Marilyn
we're talking about.
She's not like you or me.
She hasn't been hardened
or desensitized by urban life.
I just never should have
let her go.
Oh, what? Just because
she hasn't been raised...
in the concrete jungle
of New York...
doesn't mean she can't survive
a weekend away from home.
Let me remind you what happens
to unsuspecting people in a city.
They get beaten senseless
over bus fare.
They get pushed
in front of subway cars.
They get-
Fleischman...
all Seattle has
is a monorail.
Wow, this is really chilling.
What?
You.
Me?
The veil has been lifted, the
mask just ripped from your face.
For the first time,
I see your true self...
and it's cold.
I mean, you were so cold,
and you were so bleak.
This is endearing,
Fleischman.
Really, this misplaced
paternalistic concern.
I feel like I'm talking
to an ice cube.
I can almost believe
you're a human being.
Almost.
Not quite.
Thanks, Jo Anne,
see you later.
Do you have
any Q-tips?
Over there.
Next to the drain cleaner.
Hello, Ruth-Anne.
Hello.
Hey, Maggie.
Oh, hi, Jane.
Did you meet Jane?
No.
She's taking over for
Ken Bronningham. Really?
Yes, she's a pilot, too.
She flew support
in Desert Storm.
She refueled fighters
in the air at night. Wow.
Here you go. And let me have
a piece of that turkey jerky.
You know, I was thinking about how
that really must have fried you...
watching all those jocks
climb into their F-16s...
getting all the fun
and glory.
What do you mean?
Well, you know, that you
were stuck in support...
that just because you're a woman
you're not allowed to fly combat.
Come on, the last thing we
need is women flying combat.
Do you have
any AA batteries?
They'll come in tomorrow.
Wait a minute.
Did you just say...
that women
shouldn't fly combat?
Can you imagine
a woman's finger...
on the trigger
of a Tomahawk missile?
That will be $9.25.
What's wrong
with a woman's finger...
on the trigger
of a Tomahawk missile?
Come on.
Thank you.
What?
We're irrational, emotional,
unpredictable, unstable.
That's true. I mean, it's
mostly a hormone thing, really.
We're either getting
our periods...
or we're having our periods or we're
getting over having our periods.
I mean, a woman's got about two
weeks a month of relative sanity...
and I'd say that's even
a stretch for some, hmm?
What? You're joking.
Well, it's really
the least of it.
I mean,
women just don't have...
that "bloodlust, warrior instinct"
thing. You know what I mean?
It's not in their nature.
They're soft and mushy. You just
can't trust them to go for the kill.
So save me some of those
batteries, huh, Ruth-Anne?
See you, Maggie.
Bye, Ruth-Anne.
I like that girl,
don't you?
Whoa, cute.
Where did you pick
that up, babe?
Miss Harris gave them
to all her students.
I thought I ought to make
some kind of use out of it.
Jeez, they looked totally dorky
on those geeks in Chess Club.
But a hunk like you can pull
that look off, no sweat, hon.
Well, thanks, Shelly.
So, when do I get to read
that big essay thing of yours?
Shortly, Shelly.
Very shortly.
You finished it,
didn't you?
Oh, Shelly,
that catalogue came in...
the one with all
the bed linens in it.
And they have got this
comforter from Germany...
600-fill goose down,
and it's only $200.
You didn't finish it.
I beg your pardon?
Well...
Shelly, honey, I just
thought I ought to just...
come down here
and put in a few hours.
You know, work things out in my mind.
I can't spend every waking
minute on my homework...
when I've got
a business to run.
You sure found time
to yak with Dave.
You were in the kitchen
for an hour.
Well, Dave's been
having trouble at home...
since his brother-in-law
moved in.
He needed a friend
to confide in.
I couldn't very well
turn him down, could I?
You want to hang with
your buds, that's boss...
but your homework comes first.
Is that a deal?
Oh, Lord.
Excuse me, Shelly.
Good afternoon, Miss Harris.
What a surprise.
Hey, Holling.
Look, outside of class
feel free to call me Jane.
Oh, yes ma'am.
You know, I was just
on my way upstairs...
to put the finishing nails in
on that assignment for tomorrow.
That's fine, Holling.
Can I get you
something to eat or drink?
Yeah, I'll have a Scotch.
A Scotch?
Yeah, any single malt
will do.
And you can
make that a double.
Is something wrong, Holling?
No, ma'am, it's just,
well...
you're a teacher.
Well then...
a double it is, Miss Harris.
Jane.
Oh, right, Jane.
Would you like some
pretzels to go with this?
No, this I'll be fine.
What about some beer nuts?
This will be fine.
Well, I guess then...
if you'll excuse me, I think I'll
just take another whack at my homework.
All righty.
Well, would you please
do me a favor...
and make sure that she calls
me as soon as she gets in?
You got that?
What's your name?
Ted.
All right, Ted,
I am writing that down...
and I expect her to call, and
I'm holding you responsible.
Thank you.
Hello, Dr. Fleischman.
Ed, jeez.
Why do you sneak up
on people like that?
Sorry, Dr. Fleischman.
Are you going through
Marilyn's things?
No. Of course not.
I was looking for a stamp.
Well, I brought
your office supplies.
And Ruth-Anne wanted me
to be sure and tell you...
she got in a case
of King Oscar Sardines.
Ed, let me ask you something.
If you went through the trouble
to organize someone's vacation...
right, to insure that it was safe
and enjoyable and worry-free...
I mean, is it unreasonable
to expect a phone call?
A simple, "I have arrived,
everything's fine, thank you. "
I mean,
is that too much to ask?
Marilyn hasn't called yet.
No, she hasn't.
I mean, here, I book
her into a nice hotel...
with a 24-hour doorman...
and the desk tells me that
she hasn't even checked in.
Maybe her plane was late.
It touched down five minutes
early, and she was on it...
because I have a positive
identification from the flight attendant.
Well, I wouldn't worry,
Dr. Fleischman.
Well, I am not worried.
I just think that after all the
trouble that I have gone through...
the least she could
is acknowledge my efforts.
Well, I'm sure she's fine.
I told you,
I'm not worried. I'm...
What I am is,
I'm irritated.
And besides, how am I supposed to treat
patients if I'm busy answering the phone...
and covering
the front office here.
Well, there's no one here,
Dr. Fleischman.
That's got
nothing to do with it.
Marilyn was grossly
irresponsible for leaving...
and she doesn't even have the decency
to call me and tell me that she's okay.
She goes on vacation
to a strange city...
grabs the wrong bag,
and before she knows it...
she's kidnapped
by ruthless arms dealers...
who would as soon slit
her throat as let her go.
Frantic.
Roman Polanski, 1988.
I'll see you,
Dr. Fleischman.
"When we zoomed past Mercury,
my parents caught on fire...
"and then I woke up
in my own bed.
"The Earth hadn't broken
out of its orbit...
"and we weren't really
hurtling towards the sun.
"It had all just been
a dream. "
That was very imaginative,
Stuart. Thank you.
You're welcome, ma'am.
Okay.
Okay, Holling.
Would it be okay
if I just, well...
handed mine in?
It's neat enough
and easy to read.
Well, I think we'd all like
to hear it in your voice.
Yes, ma'am.
"My most exciting day
of last summer.
"I remember it was
halfway through June...
"about the time of the month
my kegs get dropped off...
"and I'd just finished
piling my empties out back...
"when Oats Moncrieff
came striding into my bar...
"like a skunk hound
in a chicken coop.
"Twelve years earlier, Oats cut a man
to ribbons over a pair of snowshoes...
"and I saw to it
he was sent up the river...
"to Lemon Creek
Correctional Facility.
"Now he was a free man, looking
to even the score with me...
"his eyes blazing and crazy...
"like he made for the Springfield
in his sling holster...
"and I knew I had only one
shot at slowing him down.
"So I laid a bottle of rye
whiskey upside his forehead...
"with him blinded
by the blood and glass...
"I was atop Oats
and in a flash...
"his rifle went off...
"and tore a hole in my
shoulder as big as a fist.
"But I wrestled him
to the floor anyway.
"His thumbs digging
into my eyes...
"looking to scoop them out
like dollops of ice cream.
"And me, I just kept slamming his
skull against the brass rail...
"hoping it would bust wide, or
at least he'd go slack on me.
"An hour later, when the
authorities finally arrived...
"they found us both lying
in a pool of our own blood...
"tapped white
and unconscious...
"peaceful as newborn babes. "
The end.
That was very vivid,
Holling. Thank you.
Thank you, ma'am.
Okay then, so,
who'd like to go next?
Hello, Fleischman.
Things slow
in the sawbones business...
or are you taking
an early lunch?
Look, I got
to borrow some cash.
Well, sure,
what can I spot you for?
$800, actually.
Eight? What do you need
that kind of wampum for?
I got to get
a plane ticket to Seattle.
You're not thinking of
skipping out on us, are you?
Maurice, yes, well, I think about it
every waking moment of every day...
if you must know, more
than sex, but it's Marilyn.
Not a word from her,
nothing.
Well...
I hardly think
that's cause for alarm.
Look, I've been through this with O'Connell.
I'm not going to argue about it, okay?
I'm going to Seattle.
Joel, have you got any idea the odds
against finding Marilyn in Seattle?
Yeah, and I don't care, okay?
I do not care.
Up here, my hands are tied, all right.
If I'm down there, and I'm
combing the streets, at least...
Look, I wouldn't be
so helpless, you know?
All right.
I'm always ready to get behind a man with a
sense of duty and a direction to take it in.
Okay, thank you,
I appreciate it very much.
Let's see here. That's...
Figure one "C" a week.
That's two, three, four.
That's one, five, six,
seven, eight.
That makes two.
Wait a minute, two?
Makes two what?
I'm just a figuring
the cash-time equivalents.
What are you saying?
Well, this $800...
adds two months to your medical
duties here in Cicely, Joel.
What?
Well, actually it's 63...
no 64 days...
but since your heart's in the right place,
I'm going to take up some of the slack.
You're going to make me
work this off?
Yeah, you're cash poor, Joel.
I'm doing you a favor.
You and this state, you've
squeezed a fifth year out of me.
Now you want more?
This is extortion,
it's usury.
You want the money or not?
Hi, Holling.
Come on in and have a seat.
Now, I based these student
evaluations on a number of things.
Conduct, homework, and, of
course, margin of improvement.
Now, I just have to say
that consistently...
you are the best-behaved
student in the class.
You're a real gentleman,
Holling.
Thank you, ma'am.
And I find your approach to
the assignments very refreshing.
You bring a wealth of life
experience to your work.
Excuse me.
Yes?
I'm not being a buttinski
or anything, am I?
Oh, no,
we just got started.
Well, would you mind if I sort
of sat in on Holling's conference?
Seeing as I am,
well, his squeeze and all.
By all means, Shelly.
Have a seat.
Thank you.
Okay, now,
as I was about to say...
although I find Holling
to be very bright...
his classroom work
is not reflecting that.
I don't know if it's a lack
of preparedness on your part...
or if you're not asking
enough questions...
but whatever
it is, Holling...
I'm afraid that you may not
pass your equivalency test.
He's going to flunk?
Well, no not flunk, exactly.
He'll just have to take
the test over again.
Now, if there's a problem,
Holling, in class...
or if there's anything
that I can help you with.
Well, the truth is, I...
Well...
He's embarrassed.
You're embarrassed?
It's all the attention
he gets in class...
being the biggest kid
and all.
Well, not kid,
but, you know...
Holling's shy.
At his surprise party,
everybody in town was there.
Holling spent the whole time in
the kitchen mixing ice-cream drinks.
Shelly.
It's true.
Well, maybe, but...
you see, Miss Harris,
it's like this.
When I was
no more than six or seven...
I used to have
this old piece of slate...
that broke off
from our roof...
and a chunk of soap
that I'd write on it with.
I used to go out
into the woods...
and teach myself the ABC's.
Really?
Yes, ma'am.
And eight miles
over the Pelly Range...
there was this
missionary's wife, Mrs. Loy.
She used to lend me
books on the sly.
Captain Courageous...
Children's Book of Verses,
and things like that.
And so, I'd sit out
under the trees...
in the birch leaves
and the spruce needles...
all by myself.
Reading and writing down words
I didn't know.
So you see, ma'am...
to me schooling has always
been a solitary sort of thing...
with nothing but the grackles
and the jays to pay me any mind.
And I guess I'm just having
a hard time switching tracks.
Anyway, thank you
for helping my Holling.
What's the problem?
She's flying choppy
above 8,000 feet.
What do you got here,
a Continental?
What is she, a 145?
Yep. 145.
Well, it sounds like the air-fuel
ratio is being affected...
or maybe it's your carburetor.
You know, some of these float-type carbs
are fitted with a mixture control...
for altitude compensation.
Actually, I just think it's
sediment in my fuel line.
But then the altitude
wouldn't be affected by it.
You know, sometimes when
atmosphere density gets reduced...
what happens is the stuff inside
there, it gets a little gummy.
You know, a little sticky. Unless
the controls are working just perfect.
What? Something wrong?
How could you say that?
How could I say what?
"Unstable,
two good weeks a month.
"Won't go
in for the kill.
"Women shouldn't fly combat. "
You actually said that.
"Women shouldn't fly combat. "
That's my opinion.
Your opinion?
Well, that can't be
your opinion.
Why not?
Because you're a woman.
And you're a smart,
competent, educated woman.
So? So where have you
been the past 20 years?
Haven't you heard
of sisterhood?
We're supposed
to stick together.
Who is supposed
to stick together?
Women.
Oh, you're one of those.
One of what?
You think just because we both presumably
wear pantyhose and shave our legs...
that we're supposed to have
the same opinions about things.
You see,
I have my own ideas.
They're my ideas, and if you don't
like it, that's just too bad...
and I'm not going to let you
or any other sister...
dictate how I think
or how I feel.
Oh, yeah,
and another thing, sister...
I already have a sister,
and you're not her.
I don't understand. I used
all the vocabulary words.
A "B" is good, Holling.
The little girl next to me, she
wrote about Carlsbad Caverns...
and she got an "A."
Not that I begrudge
her that...
but my essay was
twice as long...
and I used three metaphors.
Well, it says here
your problem was...
with punctuation
and run-on sentences.
I think you're lucky you
didn't get nailed for neatness.
Look at this.
Yeah, well,
I'm beginning to think...
that this whole thing
is a waste of my time, Shel.
What?
I can read, I can write. Why
do I need any more education?
I've been balancing my own
books for going on 30 years now.
So you figure
you're set for life, huh?
I already have a job,
I'm content.
And no piece of paper is
going to help or hinder that.
Besides...
why do I have to write about things
that I already know, anyway...
or learn a new way to do my
mathematics? Life's too short.
And you want to spend the rest
of it knowing you pupped out...
on something
this mega-important?
That instead of going for
the gusto, you bailed out?
Well, I didn't exactly
bail out.
Oh, don't give me
that BS, Holling.
First you fail,
then you bail.
It was the exact same thing
at Miss NWP.
In the dressing room
beforehand...
while all the gals are getting
all dolled-up, you figure...
you're in there.
You got a chance.
You could be wearing that satin
banner across your boobs...
just as easy as anyone.
But at dress rehearsal, you see
what you're really up against.
80 chicks with pert, little T
and A's and sprayed up do's...
and shiny Vaseline smiles and
you're going, "What's the point?
"I'm dead meat. "
And bailing is the first
thing you want to do...
but you don't.
And you know why?
'Cause all of a sudden
it hits you.
Winning is major, sure,
it's the bitchingest.
But mostly
you're in it because...
just being in it
is major enough.
Right?
And if you weren't a winner,
at least you were a contestant.
A contestant.
But if you quit,
that's all you are...
a quitter.
Now, you know for a fact,
she's here in Seattle.
One of the flight attendants, Miss
Koontz positively identified her...
right down
to what she was wearing.
And Ms. Whirlwind's
initial arrival at Sea-Tac.
Seat please.
Thanks.
Well, it was 9:00,
Tuesday morning...
and it was
on Anchorage, flight 394.
Also, I brought this picture.
Maybe this will help.
This is her on the left,
holding a moose rack.
On viewer's left.
Dr. Fleischman,
the desk sergeant said...
that you suggested the
possibility of foul play?
Well, I mean, I don't know.
I'm not sure, I just...
Why else would she fail
to meet my driver?
May I offer you
a possible scenario?
Yeah, please.
Ms. Whirlwind meets a gentleman
at the airport cocktail lounge.
She has a few drinks, some
laughs. She's enjoying herself.
Next thing, she decides to
forego her planned excursions...
for a weekend
with her new friend.
We see this sort
of thing all the time.
No, wait, look,
you don't understand.
Marilyn is not the kind of
woman to go traipsing off...
with some airport
lounge lizard, okay?
I mean, how do I say this?
She's just not like other people.
No?
No, she's better.
Better than what?
Better than you
and better than me.
Better than anyone.
She's...
I don't know,
she's simple.
She's developmentally delayed?
No, not that kind
of simple.
On the contrary, she's very
intelligent, insightful.
I mean, she's even
brilliant at times.
I mean, when I say simple, I
mean, like in an elegant way.
So was she suffering from
depression before she left Alaska?
I don't think so.
It's not that it's easy to
tell. She's kind of taciturn.
Taciturn?
Yeah, but, I mean,
it's in a good way.
Her silences
actually speak volumes.
I see.
Is there anything else?
Well, yeah, she's guileless.
I'm sorry?
Guileless. Without guile.
Dr. Fleischman...
I sympathize
with your concerns...
but at this point. without
extenuating circumstances...
all we have is
a missing person.
And I can't file a formal
report for another 24 hours.
24 hours? Well...
I mean, do you realize what could
happen to a person in 24 hours?
I'm sorry,
but those are the rules.
Well, isn't there anything
that I can do?
Well, as a private citizen...
I mean, you have every right
to contact the coroner's office.
Okay, so after the electors'
votes get all certified...
what happens?
Then they get sent
to Congress.
And?
And...
Yeah, I got it...
the President of the Senate
opens them.
And?
And counts them.
All by himself?
No. No, he opens them in
the presence of the Senate...
and of the House
of Representatives.
On?
January the 6th.
Primo. Then what?
Then what, what?
What happens next?
The new President...
Gets sworn in on the 20th
of the same month.
You got this down cold.
Multiple choice, true, false, no
matter what they throw at you...
you are going
to ace this test.
You think so?
I know so.
You're going to lay out
your three-hole punch...
and your number two
Ticonderogas and kick butt.
You want to take a break?
I could give you
a neck rub...
or make you some Swiss
Miss or something?
Thanks, Shel.
But if it's
all the same with you...
I think I'd better
keep pressing on.
10-4.
Let's see...
getting into
the census thing.
"Under Section 5,
Title 13 of the US Code...
"the Secretary of Commerce
has the authority to do what?"
19th President.
Oh, damn.
I put down Chester Arthur,
and it's Hayes.
Well, that's at least
two I got wrong.
Chill, Holling. There's
nothing you can do about it now.
Hi, Miss Harris.
Hi, Shel, Holling.
Ma'am.
You know, there's a few
things I like about this job.
I like mountain hopping,
and flexible hours...
and the fact that I don't have
to fly out everything I flew in.
This is for you.
Oh, my. Look, Shel.
"This certifies that
Holling Gustav Vincoeur...
"has completed
all necessary work...
"for the equivalent of a high school
diploma in the State of Alaska. "
And it's even signed
by the Governor himself.
Congratulations.
You did it, Holling.
And we're going
to put it right over here.
In a boss frame
with glass and everything.
So that everyone knows that a high
school graduate honchos this joint.
Thank you
for everything, ma'am.
It's my pleasure.
Take it easy.
Bye, Miss Harris.
I got to tell you, Shelly...
I haven't felt like this since I
went bow hunting in the Territories...
and brought down that Barren
Ground Caribou with a single arrow.
The Big H scores again.
Jane?
Look, I want to say...
I still think
you're wrong.
Didn't we have
this conversation?
No, no, no, wait.
What I really want
to say is that...
I also think
you're right.
About what?
About opinions.
About agreeing to disagree.
I mean,
as stupid as it is...
to believe that women don't have the
constitution to be competent killers.
It's even stupider to think we're all
going to have the same point of view.
So I apologize.
Apology accepted.
See you on the frontlines.
Okay.
Hi, I'll have one of
those kielbasas, I guess.
Wait, hold on.
Marilyn?
Marilyn!
I did it!
Yes! I found you.
I can't believe it!
Are you all right?
Uh-huh.
Man...
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
I mean, these last few days, I
got to tell you, it's been murder.
You didn't meet the driver,
you didn't go to the hotel.
It's taken years
off my life.
I can't believe
I found you.
You must be surprised
to see me here.
Not really.
Not really, Marilyn?
Come on.
You've got to be wondering how I
could possibly find you in a city...
this big without
the slightest clue.
No.
No.
Over half a million people.
I can't believe it. I actually
found you. This is amazing.
Now I almost gave up hope
and then it hit me.
The only way that I was going to
find you was to think like you.
So I started thinking, what would
Marilyn do in Seattle, right?
So I checked out
some yarn shops...
the Indian art center
at Discovery Park...
and bingo, I remembered the
cranes, the ostriches, the zoo.
It made perfect sense.
Here you are.
I was right.
I just wanted
a nice spot to eat lunch.
Yeah, well, eat lunch, whatever.
The point is, is that...
you're here
and you're safe.
All right.
We still got
most of the day left.
We can check out
some sights.
I got this guidebook at the
airport, and I marked some things.
Huh? Sound good?
All right.
We could...
What about
Pike Place Market?
No.
Good, yeah.
Yeah, it sounds like South Street
Seaport only a little more touristy.
All right, Japanese Garden. We can
look at rocks, just relax there.
No, you don't want
to do that.
I guess you can do
that at home, huh?
This is your vacation,
I understand.
All right, well,
let's see here.
Hey, look, Seattle Rep's
putting on Hedda Gabler.
How do you feel about Ibsen?
Depressing.
Yeah, I guess he is.
Well, I don't know.
We could take in a movie.
No.
No?
Well, the Sonics are playing
the Lakers at the Coliseum.
A little hoop action?
No.
We could check out
the Asian Museum.
Wait, what about this?
Marilyn, by now, nothing should
surprise me around here...
but someone seems
to have left a stepladder...
standing out there
in the middle of the street.
One of those really tall ones,
like 12 feet tall maybe.
It's just standing there...
in the middle of the street.
I mean, why?
What could they possibly
have been reaching for?
I mean, not that it's a traffic hazard.
I mean,
what traffic, right?
Right, well,
I'll be in my office...
in the event that a patient
should choose to darken our door.
I'm going on a vacation.
You are what?
My check came in.
What are you talking about?
What check?
From our corporation.
You have a corporation?
The Indians do.
The Indians have
a corporation?
$5,000!
Uh-huh.
How? I mean,
where does this come from?
Different things.
Oil, timber, mutual funds.
How often do you get these?
Every six months.
Twice a year?
Twice a year you get
a check for $5,000?
Sometimes less.
Mutual funds did
well this quarter.
$5,000.
I'm going to Seattle.
What?
The gateway to Alaska.
I want an adventure.
Holling? Holling?
You seen my leg warmers?
You know,
the ones with the pink tops...
and the green
and white stripes?
I got them last year.
Holling?
Sorry, Shel, I couldn't
hear you over the water.
What is it you're missing?
Look what was shoved
under our bed.
Some kid's school stuff.
Oh.
Whose is it? How did
it get in our bedroom?
Well...
Walt Beauchamp was up here
last week snaking the drains.
Little Walt was with him.
Why would he shove
his books under our bed?
And you'd think he would have
missed them by now.
I better give him a call.
Shelly.
Yeah, babe.
I'm afraid
these things are mine.
These are yours?
That's right.
I thought it was about time I
finished up with my schooling.
High school.
Wow.
I would have figured
a dude as old as you...
would have finished
high school eons ago.
Well, I would have,
but the truth is, you see...
the summer of '43, a buddy of
mine, name of Lon Guysbert, and I...
we had a chance to lay railroad
timbers outside of Dawson instead.
Paid top dollar.
And you never graduated.
The truth is, well, I feel
you deserve the best, Shel...
straight across the board, and
the best means having a man...
with a proper
high school education.
I was going
to surprise you...
once I actually
got my diploma.
And you're hitting the books
again after all this time.
Just for me?
That is so cool.
And you are going
to do it, too, Holling.
Because you're no doofus
like Randy Tater.
Who?
Randy Tater.
He dropped out of high school
before the end of 11th grade.
He was as big
as Hulk Hogan, only bigger.
He decided he was going to
move south and play for the NFL.
Maybe he could have
done it, too.
Except he got tanked at this
party and fell off the front porch.
Totally trashed his knee.
No high school diploma,
no NFL.
Now he's a bagboy
at Safeway...
and the only uniform
he's wearing...
is one of those aprons
and little bow ties.
Hon, like
the Fresh Prince says...
"Don't be a fool,
stay in school. "
Come in.
Hello, Marilyn.
Hi.
How you doing?
Good.
I brought you
a few things for your trip.
You see, despite not having any money...
I've actually done a fair
amount of traveling...
and I thought that you could
benefit from my experience.
See, unless you have
someone to tell you...
there are just certain things
that you wouldn't know about.
Well, you're all packed, huh?
Okay.
This is a neck pillow, believe
it or not, for the plane, okay.
It's inflatable,
and it secures your head...
so that when you're in an upright
position you can sleep better.
Okay?
Here we have Bazooka Joe.
This will neutralize the
pressure in your inner ear, okay.
It's a popping
that you'll feel...
when you take off and when
you land. It's a good thing.
All right, now this is
very important.
This is a money belt,
all right?
Now, you put your traveler's
checks in here, right?
And this way, if your purse
gets snatched, God forbid...
you won't lose
all your money, okay?
You did get traveler's
checks, didn't you?
No.
Look, muggers, okay, they
smell cash on people. They do.
They sniff it out,
and they lock on, all right?
With traveler's checks, you
can get your funds replaced.
I want an adventure.
Yes, I know you do.
You deserve it,
I understand.
But it should be a safe one that
you can enjoy, don't you think?
I mean, just going to a
big city is an adventure.
And I know, granted Seattle
is not New York, I mean...
I wouldn't even let you go to
New York by yourself. I wouldn't.
But still, these urban
problems and dangers...
they go on everywhere.
I mean, even me. I mean, look,
I'm born and bred in the city...
and even I can be
vulnerable to it.
One time, I'm walking along Riverside
Drive, it's like 10:00 p. m...
okay, and these two guys
are coming in my direction...
on the other side
of the street.
Well, they cross over, and, you know,
I mean, my radar should have gone off...
but you know, who knows?
I could have been thinking about
the Munch exhibit at the Met...
and, well,
they had a screwdriver...
and the next thing I know, they
have my wallet and my watch.
And I'm not telling
you this to alarm you.
You will have a very fine
time. I mean, you will.
If you just follow
a few simple rules.
Now the first one is,
number one, okay...
don't look anyone
in the eye.
Like that. Don't.
It's a challenge.
I don't know.
It's like a primal thing, and
a lot of these city dwellers...
they exist on a very rudimentary
and primal level, okay?
And look, excuse me,
something like this.
If you insist on carrying
a purse like this...
loop the strap around your
wrist, like so, okay...
and hold it
close to your body.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay, here.
I've arranged for a Town Car
to meet you at the airport.
Yeah, and you're booked
into a very nice...
and it's reasonably priced
and centrally located, hotel.
The concierge,
a Miss Schroeder, okay?
So I guess that's it.
Also, why don't you give me a
call when you get there, okay?
No need to thank me,
I mean...
I think as your employer...
I'd be remiss if I didn't
concern myself with your welfare.
Okay?
Just promise me that
you'll do what I told you.
I want an adventure.
"I pledge allegiance
to the flag...
"of the United States
of America.
"And to the republic
for which it stands...
"one nation, under God...
"indivisible with liberty
and justice for all. "
Okay, well, I graded the homework
that you sent me last week...
and on the whole
you all did very, very well.
And the past tense
of lie is lay, I-a-y.
Okay?
You're doing beautifully on your
spelling. You just keep that up, okay?
Okay, Holling...
you're still beginning too
many sentences with participles.
You're also overusing
the passive voice.
And here the colon and the
semi-colon are not interchangeable.
Yes, ma'am, Miss Harris.
If you'd like, and you
want to stay after class...
I'd be glad to help you
with punctuation.
Yes, ma'am.
Now before I forget, I'd like
to ask the 10 to 12 graders...
to do an essay
for tomorrow.
And the subject will be...
"The most exciting thing that
happened to me last summer. "
Okay?
Not less than two pages.
And in addition
to the new vocabulary words...
I want two similes
and two metaphors.
All right, now we're going
to move on to math review...
and we're going to start
with multiplication...
we're gonna
move on to long division...
and then we're going
to work with decimals.
First off here,
we have 84 times 37.
What is the product?
Holling.
3,108.
3,108.
That's exactly right.
What is this?
Well, that's
how I figure, ma'am.
With your fingers?
When I was just a pup, a fellow
came to town with a medicine show.
He taught me how to do it.
Really? I've-
The good thing is...
there's no way
you can ever lose it.
234 times 511.
Well, that would be
119,000...
...574.
That's incredible.
I've really, I've never seen
anything like that before.
Well, thank you, ma'am.
You're welcome.
It's just that...
in the algebra and geometry
sections of the equivalency test...
they're going to want to
see all you're written work.
Oh.
Okay, we'll move on.
273 times 431.
What is the product?
Anyone?
Hello?
Fleischman, you here?
Hey, Fleischman.
Hey, Fleischman...
I need your signature
for these syringes and stuff.
All right.
Did you meet
that new teacher? Jane?
No.
Not that she's your type.
She flew support
in Desert Storm.
Besides, she's smart
and beautiful...
and just the kind of woman
that would intimidate you.
Well, good for her.
What's wrong
with you, Fleischman?
You seem bitter
and surly today.
What happened?
Did you lose a golf ball?
If you must know, it's Marilyn. Marilyn?
She's gone.
She went to Seattle, right?
Ostensibly. But the driver
said that she never showed.
Driver? What driver?
The one that I hired
to meet her at the airport.
So what's the big deal?
What's the big deal?
This is a woman who hasn't ventured
outside of a 200-mile radius...
of Cicely, Alaska.
She gets on a plane...
she flies alone into
a major urban metropolis...
where she neither meets her
driver nor checks into her hotel...
that's the big deal.
She's a grown woman,
Fleischman.
Oh, boy.
What?
This is Marilyn
we're talking about.
She's not like you or me.
She hasn't been hardened
or desensitized by urban life.
I just never should have
let her go.
Oh, what? Just because
she hasn't been raised...
in the concrete jungle
of New York...
doesn't mean she can't survive
a weekend away from home.
Let me remind you what happens
to unsuspecting people in a city.
They get beaten senseless
over bus fare.
They get pushed
in front of subway cars.
They get-
Fleischman...
all Seattle has
is a monorail.
Wow, this is really chilling.
What?
You.
Me?
The veil has been lifted, the
mask just ripped from your face.
For the first time,
I see your true self...
and it's cold.
I mean, you were so cold,
and you were so bleak.
This is endearing,
Fleischman.
Really, this misplaced
paternalistic concern.
I feel like I'm talking
to an ice cube.
I can almost believe
you're a human being.
Almost.
Not quite.
Thanks, Jo Anne,
see you later.
Do you have
any Q-tips?
Over there.
Next to the drain cleaner.
Hello, Ruth-Anne.
Hello.
Hey, Maggie.
Oh, hi, Jane.
Did you meet Jane?
No.
She's taking over for
Ken Bronningham. Really?
Yes, she's a pilot, too.
She flew support
in Desert Storm.
She refueled fighters
in the air at night. Wow.
Here you go. And let me have
a piece of that turkey jerky.
You know, I was thinking about how
that really must have fried you...
watching all those jocks
climb into their F-16s...
getting all the fun
and glory.
What do you mean?
Well, you know, that you
were stuck in support...
that just because you're a woman
you're not allowed to fly combat.
Come on, the last thing we
need is women flying combat.
Do you have
any AA batteries?
They'll come in tomorrow.
Wait a minute.
Did you just say...
that women
shouldn't fly combat?
Can you imagine
a woman's finger...
on the trigger
of a Tomahawk missile?
That will be $9.25.
What's wrong
with a woman's finger...
on the trigger
of a Tomahawk missile?
Come on.
Thank you.
What?
We're irrational, emotional,
unpredictable, unstable.
That's true. I mean, it's
mostly a hormone thing, really.
We're either getting
our periods...
or we're having our periods or we're
getting over having our periods.
I mean, a woman's got about two
weeks a month of relative sanity...
and I'd say that's even
a stretch for some, hmm?
What? You're joking.
Well, it's really
the least of it.
I mean,
women just don't have...
that "bloodlust, warrior instinct"
thing. You know what I mean?
It's not in their nature.
They're soft and mushy. You just
can't trust them to go for the kill.
So save me some of those
batteries, huh, Ruth-Anne?
See you, Maggie.
Bye, Ruth-Anne.
I like that girl,
don't you?
Whoa, cute.
Where did you pick
that up, babe?
Miss Harris gave them
to all her students.
I thought I ought to make
some kind of use out of it.
Jeez, they looked totally dorky
on those geeks in Chess Club.
But a hunk like you can pull
that look off, no sweat, hon.
Well, thanks, Shelly.
So, when do I get to read
that big essay thing of yours?
Shortly, Shelly.
Very shortly.
You finished it,
didn't you?
Oh, Shelly,
that catalogue came in...
the one with all
the bed linens in it.
And they have got this
comforter from Germany...
600-fill goose down,
and it's only $200.
You didn't finish it.
I beg your pardon?
Well...
Shelly, honey, I just
thought I ought to just...
come down here
and put in a few hours.
You know, work things out in my mind.
I can't spend every waking
minute on my homework...
when I've got
a business to run.
You sure found time
to yak with Dave.
You were in the kitchen
for an hour.
Well, Dave's been
having trouble at home...
since his brother-in-law
moved in.
He needed a friend
to confide in.
I couldn't very well
turn him down, could I?
You want to hang with
your buds, that's boss...
but your homework comes first.
Is that a deal?
Oh, Lord.
Excuse me, Shelly.
Good afternoon, Miss Harris.
What a surprise.
Hey, Holling.
Look, outside of class
feel free to call me Jane.
Oh, yes ma'am.
You know, I was just
on my way upstairs...
to put the finishing nails in
on that assignment for tomorrow.
That's fine, Holling.
Can I get you
something to eat or drink?
Yeah, I'll have a Scotch.
A Scotch?
Yeah, any single malt
will do.
And you can
make that a double.
Is something wrong, Holling?
No, ma'am, it's just,
well...
you're a teacher.
Well then...
a double it is, Miss Harris.
Jane.
Oh, right, Jane.
Would you like some
pretzels to go with this?
No, this I'll be fine.
What about some beer nuts?
This will be fine.
Well, I guess then...
if you'll excuse me, I think I'll
just take another whack at my homework.
All righty.
Well, would you please
do me a favor...
and make sure that she calls
me as soon as she gets in?
You got that?
What's your name?
Ted.
All right, Ted,
I am writing that down...
and I expect her to call, and
I'm holding you responsible.
Thank you.
Hello, Dr. Fleischman.
Ed, jeez.
Why do you sneak up
on people like that?
Sorry, Dr. Fleischman.
Are you going through
Marilyn's things?
No. Of course not.
I was looking for a stamp.
Well, I brought
your office supplies.
And Ruth-Anne wanted me
to be sure and tell you...
she got in a case
of King Oscar Sardines.
Ed, let me ask you something.
If you went through the trouble
to organize someone's vacation...
right, to insure that it was safe
and enjoyable and worry-free...
I mean, is it unreasonable
to expect a phone call?
A simple, "I have arrived,
everything's fine, thank you. "
I mean,
is that too much to ask?
Marilyn hasn't called yet.
No, she hasn't.
I mean, here, I book
her into a nice hotel...
with a 24-hour doorman...
and the desk tells me that
she hasn't even checked in.
Maybe her plane was late.
It touched down five minutes
early, and she was on it...
because I have a positive
identification from the flight attendant.
Well, I wouldn't worry,
Dr. Fleischman.
Well, I am not worried.
I just think that after all the
trouble that I have gone through...
the least she could
is acknowledge my efforts.
Well, I'm sure she's fine.
I told you,
I'm not worried. I'm...
What I am is,
I'm irritated.
And besides, how am I supposed to treat
patients if I'm busy answering the phone...
and covering
the front office here.
Well, there's no one here,
Dr. Fleischman.
That's got
nothing to do with it.
Marilyn was grossly
irresponsible for leaving...
and she doesn't even have the decency
to call me and tell me that she's okay.
She goes on vacation
to a strange city...
grabs the wrong bag,
and before she knows it...
she's kidnapped
by ruthless arms dealers...
who would as soon slit
her throat as let her go.
Frantic.
Roman Polanski, 1988.
I'll see you,
Dr. Fleischman.
"When we zoomed past Mercury,
my parents caught on fire...
"and then I woke up
in my own bed.
"The Earth hadn't broken
out of its orbit...
"and we weren't really
hurtling towards the sun.
"It had all just been
a dream. "
That was very imaginative,
Stuart. Thank you.
You're welcome, ma'am.
Okay.
Okay, Holling.
Would it be okay
if I just, well...
handed mine in?
It's neat enough
and easy to read.
Well, I think we'd all like
to hear it in your voice.
Yes, ma'am.
"My most exciting day
of last summer.
"I remember it was
halfway through June...
"about the time of the month
my kegs get dropped off...
"and I'd just finished
piling my empties out back...
"when Oats Moncrieff
came striding into my bar...
"like a skunk hound
in a chicken coop.
"Twelve years earlier, Oats cut a man
to ribbons over a pair of snowshoes...
"and I saw to it
he was sent up the river...
"to Lemon Creek
Correctional Facility.
"Now he was a free man, looking
to even the score with me...
"his eyes blazing and crazy...
"like he made for the Springfield
in his sling holster...
"and I knew I had only one
shot at slowing him down.
"So I laid a bottle of rye
whiskey upside his forehead...
"with him blinded
by the blood and glass...
"I was atop Oats
and in a flash...
"his rifle went off...
"and tore a hole in my
shoulder as big as a fist.
"But I wrestled him
to the floor anyway.
"His thumbs digging
into my eyes...
"looking to scoop them out
like dollops of ice cream.
"And me, I just kept slamming his
skull against the brass rail...
"hoping it would bust wide, or
at least he'd go slack on me.
"An hour later, when the
authorities finally arrived...
"they found us both lying
in a pool of our own blood...
"tapped white
and unconscious...
"peaceful as newborn babes. "
The end.
That was very vivid,
Holling. Thank you.
Thank you, ma'am.
Okay then, so,
who'd like to go next?
Hello, Fleischman.
Things slow
in the sawbones business...
or are you taking
an early lunch?
Look, I got
to borrow some cash.
Well, sure,
what can I spot you for?
$800, actually.
Eight? What do you need
that kind of wampum for?
I got to get
a plane ticket to Seattle.
You're not thinking of
skipping out on us, are you?
Maurice, yes, well, I think about it
every waking moment of every day...
if you must know, more
than sex, but it's Marilyn.
Not a word from her,
nothing.
Well...
I hardly think
that's cause for alarm.
Look, I've been through this with O'Connell.
I'm not going to argue about it, okay?
I'm going to Seattle.
Joel, have you got any idea the odds
against finding Marilyn in Seattle?
Yeah, and I don't care, okay?
I do not care.
Up here, my hands are tied, all right.
If I'm down there, and I'm
combing the streets, at least...
Look, I wouldn't be
so helpless, you know?
All right.
I'm always ready to get behind a man with a
sense of duty and a direction to take it in.
Okay, thank you,
I appreciate it very much.
Let's see here. That's...
Figure one "C" a week.
That's two, three, four.
That's one, five, six,
seven, eight.
That makes two.
Wait a minute, two?
Makes two what?
I'm just a figuring
the cash-time equivalents.
What are you saying?
Well, this $800...
adds two months to your medical
duties here in Cicely, Joel.
What?
Well, actually it's 63...
no 64 days...
but since your heart's in the right place,
I'm going to take up some of the slack.
You're going to make me
work this off?
Yeah, you're cash poor, Joel.
I'm doing you a favor.
You and this state, you've
squeezed a fifth year out of me.
Now you want more?
This is extortion,
it's usury.
You want the money or not?
Hi, Holling.
Come on in and have a seat.
Now, I based these student
evaluations on a number of things.
Conduct, homework, and, of
course, margin of improvement.
Now, I just have to say
that consistently...
you are the best-behaved
student in the class.
You're a real gentleman,
Holling.
Thank you, ma'am.
And I find your approach to
the assignments very refreshing.
You bring a wealth of life
experience to your work.
Excuse me.
Yes?
I'm not being a buttinski
or anything, am I?
Oh, no,
we just got started.
Well, would you mind if I sort
of sat in on Holling's conference?
Seeing as I am,
well, his squeeze and all.
By all means, Shelly.
Have a seat.
Thank you.
Okay, now,
as I was about to say...
although I find Holling
to be very bright...
his classroom work
is not reflecting that.
I don't know if it's a lack
of preparedness on your part...
or if you're not asking
enough questions...
but whatever
it is, Holling...
I'm afraid that you may not
pass your equivalency test.
He's going to flunk?
Well, no not flunk, exactly.
He'll just have to take
the test over again.
Now, if there's a problem,
Holling, in class...
or if there's anything
that I can help you with.
Well, the truth is, I...
Well...
He's embarrassed.
You're embarrassed?
It's all the attention
he gets in class...
being the biggest kid
and all.
Well, not kid,
but, you know...
Holling's shy.
At his surprise party,
everybody in town was there.
Holling spent the whole time in
the kitchen mixing ice-cream drinks.
Shelly.
It's true.
Well, maybe, but...
you see, Miss Harris,
it's like this.
When I was
no more than six or seven...
I used to have
this old piece of slate...
that broke off
from our roof...
and a chunk of soap
that I'd write on it with.
I used to go out
into the woods...
and teach myself the ABC's.
Really?
Yes, ma'am.
And eight miles
over the Pelly Range...
there was this
missionary's wife, Mrs. Loy.
She used to lend me
books on the sly.
Captain Courageous...
Children's Book of Verses,
and things like that.
And so, I'd sit out
under the trees...
in the birch leaves
and the spruce needles...
all by myself.
Reading and writing down words
I didn't know.
So you see, ma'am...
to me schooling has always
been a solitary sort of thing...
with nothing but the grackles
and the jays to pay me any mind.
And I guess I'm just having
a hard time switching tracks.
Anyway, thank you
for helping my Holling.
What's the problem?
She's flying choppy
above 8,000 feet.
What do you got here,
a Continental?
What is she, a 145?
Yep. 145.
Well, it sounds like the air-fuel
ratio is being affected...
or maybe it's your carburetor.
You know, some of these float-type carbs
are fitted with a mixture control...
for altitude compensation.
Actually, I just think it's
sediment in my fuel line.
But then the altitude
wouldn't be affected by it.
You know, sometimes when
atmosphere density gets reduced...
what happens is the stuff inside
there, it gets a little gummy.
You know, a little sticky. Unless
the controls are working just perfect.
What? Something wrong?
How could you say that?
How could I say what?
"Unstable,
two good weeks a month.
"Won't go
in for the kill.
"Women shouldn't fly combat. "
You actually said that.
"Women shouldn't fly combat. "
That's my opinion.
Your opinion?
Well, that can't be
your opinion.
Why not?
Because you're a woman.
And you're a smart,
competent, educated woman.
So? So where have you
been the past 20 years?
Haven't you heard
of sisterhood?
We're supposed
to stick together.
Who is supposed
to stick together?
Women.
Oh, you're one of those.
One of what?
You think just because we both presumably
wear pantyhose and shave our legs...
that we're supposed to have
the same opinions about things.
You see,
I have my own ideas.
They're my ideas, and if you don't
like it, that's just too bad...
and I'm not going to let you
or any other sister...
dictate how I think
or how I feel.
Oh, yeah,
and another thing, sister...
I already have a sister,
and you're not her.
I don't understand. I used
all the vocabulary words.
A "B" is good, Holling.
The little girl next to me, she
wrote about Carlsbad Caverns...
and she got an "A."
Not that I begrudge
her that...
but my essay was
twice as long...
and I used three metaphors.
Well, it says here
your problem was...
with punctuation
and run-on sentences.
I think you're lucky you
didn't get nailed for neatness.
Look at this.
Yeah, well,
I'm beginning to think...
that this whole thing
is a waste of my time, Shel.
What?
I can read, I can write. Why
do I need any more education?
I've been balancing my own
books for going on 30 years now.
So you figure
you're set for life, huh?
I already have a job,
I'm content.
And no piece of paper is
going to help or hinder that.
Besides...
why do I have to write about things
that I already know, anyway...
or learn a new way to do my
mathematics? Life's too short.
And you want to spend the rest
of it knowing you pupped out...
on something
this mega-important?
That instead of going for
the gusto, you bailed out?
Well, I didn't exactly
bail out.
Oh, don't give me
that BS, Holling.
First you fail,
then you bail.
It was the exact same thing
at Miss NWP.
In the dressing room
beforehand...
while all the gals are getting
all dolled-up, you figure...
you're in there.
You got a chance.
You could be wearing that satin
banner across your boobs...
just as easy as anyone.
But at dress rehearsal, you see
what you're really up against.
80 chicks with pert, little T
and A's and sprayed up do's...
and shiny Vaseline smiles and
you're going, "What's the point?
"I'm dead meat. "
And bailing is the first
thing you want to do...
but you don't.
And you know why?
'Cause all of a sudden
it hits you.
Winning is major, sure,
it's the bitchingest.
But mostly
you're in it because...
just being in it
is major enough.
Right?
And if you weren't a winner,
at least you were a contestant.
A contestant.
But if you quit,
that's all you are...
a quitter.
Now, you know for a fact,
she's here in Seattle.
One of the flight attendants, Miss
Koontz positively identified her...
right down
to what she was wearing.
And Ms. Whirlwind's
initial arrival at Sea-Tac.
Seat please.
Thanks.
Well, it was 9:00,
Tuesday morning...
and it was
on Anchorage, flight 394.
Also, I brought this picture.
Maybe this will help.
This is her on the left,
holding a moose rack.
On viewer's left.
Dr. Fleischman,
the desk sergeant said...
that you suggested the
possibility of foul play?
Well, I mean, I don't know.
I'm not sure, I just...
Why else would she fail
to meet my driver?
May I offer you
a possible scenario?
Yeah, please.
Ms. Whirlwind meets a gentleman
at the airport cocktail lounge.
She has a few drinks, some
laughs. She's enjoying herself.
Next thing, she decides to
forego her planned excursions...
for a weekend
with her new friend.
We see this sort
of thing all the time.
No, wait, look,
you don't understand.
Marilyn is not the kind of
woman to go traipsing off...
with some airport
lounge lizard, okay?
I mean, how do I say this?
She's just not like other people.
No?
No, she's better.
Better than what?
Better than you
and better than me.
Better than anyone.
She's...
I don't know,
she's simple.
She's developmentally delayed?
No, not that kind
of simple.
On the contrary, she's very
intelligent, insightful.
I mean, she's even
brilliant at times.
I mean, when I say simple, I
mean, like in an elegant way.
So was she suffering from
depression before she left Alaska?
I don't think so.
It's not that it's easy to
tell. She's kind of taciturn.
Taciturn?
Yeah, but, I mean,
it's in a good way.
Her silences
actually speak volumes.
I see.
Is there anything else?
Well, yeah, she's guileless.
I'm sorry?
Guileless. Without guile.
Dr. Fleischman...
I sympathize
with your concerns...
but at this point. without
extenuating circumstances...
all we have is
a missing person.
And I can't file a formal
report for another 24 hours.
24 hours? Well...
I mean, do you realize what could
happen to a person in 24 hours?
I'm sorry,
but those are the rules.
Well, isn't there anything
that I can do?
Well, as a private citizen...
I mean, you have every right
to contact the coroner's office.
Okay, so after the electors'
votes get all certified...
what happens?
Then they get sent
to Congress.
And?
And...
Yeah, I got it...
the President of the Senate
opens them.
And?
And counts them.
All by himself?
No. No, he opens them in
the presence of the Senate...
and of the House
of Representatives.
On?
January the 6th.
Primo. Then what?
Then what, what?
What happens next?
The new President...
Gets sworn in on the 20th
of the same month.
You got this down cold.
Multiple choice, true, false, no
matter what they throw at you...
you are going
to ace this test.
You think so?
I know so.
You're going to lay out
your three-hole punch...
and your number two
Ticonderogas and kick butt.
You want to take a break?
I could give you
a neck rub...
or make you some Swiss
Miss or something?
Thanks, Shel.
But if it's
all the same with you...
I think I'd better
keep pressing on.
10-4.
Let's see...
getting into
the census thing.
"Under Section 5,
Title 13 of the US Code...
"the Secretary of Commerce
has the authority to do what?"
19th President.
Oh, damn.
I put down Chester Arthur,
and it's Hayes.
Well, that's at least
two I got wrong.
Chill, Holling. There's
nothing you can do about it now.
Hi, Miss Harris.
Hi, Shel, Holling.
Ma'am.
You know, there's a few
things I like about this job.
I like mountain hopping,
and flexible hours...
and the fact that I don't have
to fly out everything I flew in.
This is for you.
Oh, my. Look, Shel.
"This certifies that
Holling Gustav Vincoeur...
"has completed
all necessary work...
"for the equivalent of a high school
diploma in the State of Alaska. "
And it's even signed
by the Governor himself.
Congratulations.
You did it, Holling.
And we're going
to put it right over here.
In a boss frame
with glass and everything.
So that everyone knows that a high
school graduate honchos this joint.
Thank you
for everything, ma'am.
It's my pleasure.
Take it easy.
Bye, Miss Harris.
I got to tell you, Shelly...
I haven't felt like this since I
went bow hunting in the Territories...
and brought down that Barren
Ground Caribou with a single arrow.
The Big H scores again.
Jane?
Look, I want to say...
I still think
you're wrong.
Didn't we have
this conversation?
No, no, no, wait.
What I really want
to say is that...
I also think
you're right.
About what?
About opinions.
About agreeing to disagree.
I mean,
as stupid as it is...
to believe that women don't have the
constitution to be competent killers.
It's even stupider to think we're all
going to have the same point of view.
So I apologize.
Apology accepted.
See you on the frontlines.
Okay.
Hi, I'll have one of
those kielbasas, I guess.
Wait, hold on.
Marilyn?
Marilyn!
I did it!
Yes! I found you.
I can't believe it!
Are you all right?
Uh-huh.
Man...
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
I mean, these last few days, I
got to tell you, it's been murder.
You didn't meet the driver,
you didn't go to the hotel.
It's taken years
off my life.
I can't believe
I found you.
You must be surprised
to see me here.
Not really.
Not really, Marilyn?
Come on.
You've got to be wondering how I
could possibly find you in a city...
this big without
the slightest clue.
No.
No.
Over half a million people.
I can't believe it. I actually
found you. This is amazing.
Now I almost gave up hope
and then it hit me.
The only way that I was going to
find you was to think like you.
So I started thinking, what would
Marilyn do in Seattle, right?
So I checked out
some yarn shops...
the Indian art center
at Discovery Park...
and bingo, I remembered the
cranes, the ostriches, the zoo.
It made perfect sense.
Here you are.
I was right.
I just wanted
a nice spot to eat lunch.
Yeah, well, eat lunch, whatever.
The point is, is that...
you're here
and you're safe.
All right.
We still got
most of the day left.
We can check out
some sights.
I got this guidebook at the
airport, and I marked some things.
Huh? Sound good?
All right.
We could...
What about
Pike Place Market?
No.
Good, yeah.
Yeah, it sounds like South Street
Seaport only a little more touristy.
All right, Japanese Garden. We can
look at rocks, just relax there.
No, you don't want
to do that.
I guess you can do
that at home, huh?
This is your vacation,
I understand.
All right, well,
let's see here.
Hey, look, Seattle Rep's
putting on Hedda Gabler.
How do you feel about Ibsen?
Depressing.
Yeah, I guess he is.
Well, I don't know.
We could take in a movie.
No.
No?
Well, the Sonics are playing
the Lakers at the Coliseum.
A little hoop action?
No.
We could check out
the Asian Museum.
Wait, what about this?