Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 3, Episode 4 - Animals R Us - full transcript

Well, hello there, big fella.

Well, what is it, boy?

Oh. Ruff to you too.

Morning, Ruth-Anne.

Be right with you, Ed.

I don't know what it is,
but every year about this time,

I get a run on Progresso
chicken with escarole.

I can't keep it on the shelves.

They make a really good minestrone too.

I'll bet you're looking
for your editing equipment.

I am. I knew you would.



It's here! With this morning's mail.

Oh, yes! Now I can start cutting the
scenes together, see what they look like.

How's the movie coming along, Ed?

Really good.

You know, I may very well have
a neorealistic classic on my hands.

That's wonderful news.
I owe a lot to Godard.

But I think my greatest influence
has been Louis Malle.

I liked his early pictures
- Murmur of the Heart, Lacombe Lucien.

He's quiet but very brave.

I suppose.

But if you ask me,
the one to watch is Spike Lee.

He has so much energy.

Of course, he gets
a little preachy, but...

he'll probably grow out of that.



Yeah. Well, thanks, Ruth-Anne.

You're welcome.

Hello, Maurice. Ed.

Bye. Good morning, Ruth-Anne.

Good morning, Maurice.
What can I get for you?

Oh, I'll have some razor blades,
a pound of two-inch brads...

and two cans of this delicious
chicken-with-escarole soup.

All righty.

Good night, Gerty.

Will you look at that?

What the hell is this anyway?
Well, it's an ostrich egg.

Huh. Looks more like a dinosaur
egg. It is big, isn't it?

Marilyn gave it to me because
I'm fixing a corn-and-jalapeno

soufflé for the church
supper this weekend.

One of Marilyn's birds
laid this monster?

Saves me breakin' 16 eggs.

I know things grow big in Alaska, but-

this is somethin' else entirely.

Oh, hello. Hi there.

Come here, boy. Come here. I don't bite.

Well, hi. Hi.

What's your name?
Aren't you a pretty boy.

Who's your owner?

All right, you git. I'm goin' in.

What do you think you're doing?

No, no, no. You go home.

Go home.

Shoo. Go home.

What a charmer.

You're breaking my heart.
You go home. Git.

Go home.

Hello, Marilyn. Good morning.

Nice little setup you got here. Thanks.

- Does it take much overhead to run an operation like this?
- Just the feed.

They're hungry little
sons of bitches, aren't they?

Oh, uh, excuse the French.

They're blue necks, from Africa.

Is that a fact? Uh-huh.

They'll eat themselves to death
if you let 'em.

Huh. Well, you don't say?

I lost one to blockage
- digestive tract. Hmm.

Uh, listen there, Marilyn. Uh-

Have you, uh, got these birds
on some special diet?

Alfalfa-based grain and lettuce.

No, no, no.
I mean growth hormones, steroids.

Some sort of a Native Indian potion?

Uh-uh. Well, then how do you
explain the size of these eggs?

These are as big as footballs.

- They do it for me.
- For you?

- Why?
- They like it when I sit with them.

Now wait a minute.

Are you sayin' that these birds
lay eggs that big...

because they like having you around?

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.

Uh, look here, Marilyn. Uh-

Have you ever thought of going
into business with these things?

No. Well, why not? Don't sell
yourself short, little lady.

You've got a real talent here.

Think about that woman with the cookies
- Mrs. Fields.

She turned her hobby
into a multimillion-dollar enterprise.

And Jenny Craig-same thing.

She lost a few pounds.
Now she's rolling in it.

Huh?

Dough. She's rollin' in dough.

Here, have some lettuce, sweetheart.

- Yeah, there you go.
- Look at that.

Got a sec? Why should a man be
allowed to eat breakfast in peace?

Even if it is a cold veggie burrito.

Come on. Hey.

- What's that?
- It's a dog, Fleischman.

You got a dog. Good. You spend too
much time by yourself, O'Connell.

Besides, pets are said to have
a humanizing effect.

- Oh, he's not mine.
- What'd you do, steal him?

No. He showed up at my door this
morning, and he won't go away.

- He's beautiful, isn't he?
- Oh, he's gorgeous. Beautiful.

- Devastatingly handsome.
- Come on. Up you go.

Hey! What do you think you're doing,
O'Connell? Get that mutt off the table.

That's a sanitary area,
and it's disgusting.

- I just want you to take a look.
- Have a look? At what?

Well, I don't know. Check him out.

You want me to examine this dog? Yeah.

I'm not a veterinarian, O'Connell.
I deal exclusively with furless animals.

Although with some of the people
around here, the line is kind of fuzzy.

Why don't you take him to, uh,
you know, the guy?

The guy? Yeah. The guy
who gives sheep haircuts.

- It's called sheepshearing.
- Fine. Him.

Well, "the guy" is testing for anthrax
in Swetborough until Tuesday.

Fang here looks healthy enough
to survive until then.

Well, thank you, Dr. Schweitzer-
all creatures great and small.

I forget how fragile your ego is that you'd be threatened
by the idea ofbending your Hippocratic talents.

Frankly, O'Connell, I don't even think
I'd have a clue as to what to look for.

- Parasites. Fungus.
- That's disgusting.

Oh, now, don't tell me
you're afraid of dogs?

Is this another Fleischman phobia
to add to the list?

Hey, I don't trust anyone
that sweats through their tongue.

What a wimp.

All right. Let's see.

Say "ah." Say "ah."

You don't think
he's lookin' at me funny?

You hear that?

That was a growl.
That was definitely not a greeting.

- That was hostile. That was hostility.
- Relax, Fleischman.

Hi, dog. Come on. Nice doggy.

- Ow! Ah!
- What did you do to him?

Me? What'd I do? I didn't do anything.

Oh, poor thing. Did Dr.
Fleischman frighten you? Huh?

Come on. We'll go.
We'll just leave. Wait.!

Nobody moves. That dog stays where
it is until I get blood and saliva.

No, no, no. That's okay. We'll
just wait for the vet to get back.

- Uh-uh. That dog broke skin.
- I'm testing it for rabies.

Ed?

Ed?

Yes? You said you wanted to talk to us.

I did. Right. Right.

Holling. Ed.

Chris. Ed.

I suppose you're wondering
why I've called you here today.

Well, yes, Ed.

We are.

I've-I've decided to
pull the plug. The plug?

On-On the production. On the film?

Yes. Oh, Ed. Why?

Well, see, it's just not working.

I don't understand. We were going so
well. I mean, you said so yourself.

I know, I know. But that was
before I saw it all cut together.

Brink of Emptiness
has been your total focus, Ed.

An exploration of the meaning of life - that's important
stuff. You're just gonna turn your back on it?

Sometimes, Chris, you just have
to know when to cut your losses.

TakeJoel Silver.

He would have been much better off if he
would have pulled the plug on Hudson Hawk.

Fifty million dollars down the tube,
and for what?

It's me, isn't it?

I told him I was no ac - I told him
to get somebody else, anybody.

Oh, no. No, Holling. You were wonderful.

Both of you were.

I want to thank you for your help,

your devotion,

your heart.

Hi, Ed. Hi, guys. Hey, Ed.

What's the matter with him?

He's calling off his movie. Why?

Uh, Chris, why was it exactly?

It's no good.

Hey. What happened to your hand? You
wanna know what happened to my hand?

That happened to my hand.

Well, hello there, big fella.

I'm sorry. He should come down.
Come on, boy.

He's been following me around,
and I can't shake him.

Come on. Oh, let him stay.

It's kinda nice seeing somebody sit,
you know, on-

Go ahead, say it. Rick's stool.

Nobody hardly ever sits here anymore...

ever since Rick-well, you know-
ate the satellite.

Oh, you are a pretty boy, aren't you?

Yes, you are.

- I'd be careful.
- They can turn on you.

Does anybody know who he belongs to?

Well, he does look familiar,
but, no, I've-

I've never seen this fella.

Hey, you hungry, big fella?
You want some of this beefjerky?

All right. Here we go.

Right there. Wow.

That's funny. Rick was the only
one that could stomach that stuff.

- Used to eat those strips like M&M's.
- He was the only one that had strong enough teeth to chew the stuff.

Rick did have nice teeth.

So I look and I look,
but I can't find anything wrong with it.

But I know the sound of my own airplane.

I could've sworn you just said manifold.

Well, anyway. Devil's mess eggs.

There you go. Hmm?

Anyway, because that's exactly what
it was - the manifold, as usual.

I was flying a couple of fisherman up to
Paimiut, and I heard this clunking sound and-

Wow.

You really wolfed that down, didn't you?

You want some more? Guess you do.

All right. Well, okay.

Hey. You didn't eat the green peppers.

Why?

Rick never used to eat
his green peppers.

He said they repeated on him.

He had this thing about raw vegetables.

Oh, here you go.

Why didn't you eat the green peppers?

Because dogs don't like vegetables.

Fleischman's right. I've been spending
much too much time by myself.

I'm talking to myself.
I'm imagining things.

I'll just have a cup of tea.

That's what I'll do. I'll relax.

Hey. Hey. Stop that.

What are you doing?

Rick used to stretch against that
doorjamb every night after dinner.

Come over here.

Rick?

Okay. If you're Rick, bark three times.

Rick?

Anyone home? Hello?

Ed. Hello, Dr. Fleischman.

Hi.

Chris tells me you didn't show up
for Wild Strawberries last night.

For you to miss a Bergman film,
that's not a good sign.

Uh, oh, I've seen it 10 times.

You've seen everything 10 times.

That's it, givin' up on your movie?

Your entire raison d'être
is out the window?

You know, Dr. Fleischman,

I don't know what made me think
I could do it in the first place.

After all, I'm-I'm just Ed Chigliak-

half-Indian from Cicely, Alaska.

Hey, you're having an artistic crisis.

It's normal in a creative endeavor
to be assailed by doubts.

The movie's no good. It's garbage.

Oh? What's wrong with it?

Well, the idea. Uh-huh.

The script. Uh-huh.

And the execution.

Is this the screenplay here? Yeah.

Okay if I take a look? Sure.

I'm no expert, but I might be able
to make a few suggestions.

You live in New York, you get familiar
with a fairly broad scope of cinema.

You know, Dr. Fleischman, maybe I
just need to rethink the whole thing.

Yeah? Carmine says the
third act's unfocused.

Who's Carmine? Francis's cousin.

Course, Marty says he likes things
a little rough around the edges.

- Marty?
- He said, when he started Mean Streets,

all he had to go with was the
East Village and a hat he found.

Ed, just to make sure
we're on the same planet,

we're talking about Marty Scorsese,

the director of Mean Streets
and "Goodfellows'" - the movies?

- Yeah.
- You know Marty Scorsese?

Not really, but we're pen pals.
Pen pals?

You and Marty Scorsese-Marty
Scorsese the director-are pen pals?

Yep.

Yeah.

"Dear Ed, Good luck
with your movie. Marty."

This one's from Woody.

"Annie threatens Alvy with the lobster."

Annie as in- Annie Hall.

He wanted me to see how
much he rewrites on the set.

And-And this hat from Universal Studios?

This isn't
- Steven said it brought him good luck.

Of course, that was
a couple of movies ago.

You're right, Dr. Fleischman.
I can't give up.

I've just gotta think this thing through
to the bitter end.

- Yeah, right.
- Thanks, Dr. Fleischman. You'll never know how much you've helped me.

You're welcome.

The, uh, temptation with salmon
is to do too much.

What I like to do
is bring the broth to a boil.

Then I lay the fish in there
and turn off the heat.

Then she poaches herself.

Chardonnay? Mm-hmm.

This is, uh, Napa Valley Reserve.

Fruity. How's your fish?

Good. Cooked enough for you?

I like mine just a little bit rare.

You know,
there's a restaurant near here...

that serves a very good piece of fish.

A little place out by Samsuk Bay.

You know, Marilyn, the more I
think of this ostrich business,

the more I like it.

It's only a matter of time
until ostrich farming's a rival...

to the beef industry
or the chicken industry.

I mean, hell, every part
of this animal is marketable.

You've got the egg, you've got the hide,

you've got the meat,
you've got the feathers.

Now, I'm not talking about slaughter
right away, now, you understand.

Are you aware that,
in the past five years,

the price for breeding pairs
has tripled?

No. Well, take my word. It has.

And it shows no sign
of leveling off either.

This is an industry
that is poised for takeoff.

I give the eggs away. Uh-huh.

Well, you've got a premium product,
no doubt about that.

But like-like anything
in a market-driven economy,

you've got to create a demand.

Now, don't get me wrong.
I'm talkin'a 50-50 split here.

You've got the touch.
I've got the expertise and know-how.

That's an unbeatable combination.

- That's if-if you're interested.
- Maybe.

- You like money, don't you?
- Everybody likes money.

Amen to that.

If I was gonna make a movie,
I'd make it just like The Terminator.

Nobody blows you away like Arnold. Yeah.

Hasta la vista, baby.

Kurosawa's Rashomon-
the final word on reality, gentlemen.

Well, namely, there isn't just one.

Hey, Maggie, what's your
favorite movie of all time?

Rin Tin Tin. Funny, Fleischman.

- Hey, you look like you got
a friend there for life.

Yeah. He's such a cutie.

Yeah, he is.
Yeah, well, you see, the thing is-

- What?
- Well, um-

What? Mm, forget it.

- What?
- Well, the dog-

this particular dog- is Rick.

- Who?
- Rick.

- He's Rick?
- He's Rick?

The Rick? No.

You are?

No. He's Rick?

I don't know how or why.

But, yes, he is Rick. Rick is he.

You have completely lost your mind.
You realize that, don't you, O'Connell?

No. He does everything Rick did, and he
knows things that only Rick would know.

Maybe he's Rick's mother.

- Hey, Holling, Maggie says that that there dog is Rick.
- Is that right?

That dog is not Rick. This conversation
should not even be happening.

Well, Dr. Fleischman, he does sit
on Rick's stool and eat Rick's food.

Last night, I put on
Rick's favorite tape.

- R.E. M. Green?
- Right.

And he walked straight to the
window, just like Rick used to do,

and he looks out and he starts
to howl along with the song.

It sounded like Rick.

Wow. Rick never could carry a tune.

You people can't be serious about this?

He's got this little place where he likes to be scratched,
just like Rick, and he won't go near green peppers.

So last night, I asked.
I asked, "Are you Rick?"

You asked the dog
whether or not he was Rick?

Well, yeah. I said, "If
you're Rick, bark three times."

Did he? Mm-hmm.

This dog is-is not Rick. People
do not become dogs when they die.

Dogs are dogs. People are
people. That's it, end of story.

He does sort of look like Rick,
in a way.

Why are you people
fostering this delusion?

It's such a patently obvious pathology.

She's displacing the guilt and grief
she feels over the death of Rick...

by anthropomorphizing a-a mutt.

Well, Joel, you know,
certain belief systems...

still embrace the concept
of reincarnation.

Buddhism, Hindu, Chippewa.

Hey, Ed, you're an Indian. Is this Rick?

Oh, I don't know, but if Rick
was to come back as a dog,

I think he'd be a terrier.

Okay, look. The dog is not Rick.

- I'm stating categorically and in
no uncertain terms as a scientist...

and as a human being, no dog can
come back to Earth and be Rick.

Ow! He bit me!

Are you okay, Dr. Fleischman?

No, I'm not okay. How could I be okay?

l-l-I'm in agony.
I've just been bitten by a dog again.

People that have been bitten by wild
animals are by definition not okay.

If that thing were in New York,
they'd have it on a leash.

They'd-They'd have it in a cage. Ow.

Rick never did warm up toJoel, did he?

Look at that.
Look at the lowering clouds...

and that bleak sea of grass.

It's so hopeless,

so completely joyless.

Wonderful, isn't it? Yep.

Probably, he used a slow stock
and pushed the film.

The thing that's so amazing
about Bergman,

aside from his terrific Swedish guilt,

is he doesn't try to explain away...

the apparent meaninglessness of life.

His films are not mere
quietist exercises...

any more than they're, uh,

pat expressions of radical subjectivism.

Yeah.

Grandma Woody?

Hmm? How does he do it?

Do what? Make movies.

My Woody?

He gets an idea,
he writes it down, and he films it-

again... and again and again.

Mm! He's a perfectionist.

Nah. He's obsessively compulsive.

It's not such a good thing, Ed.

You wanna know how to make movies?

I'll tell you just what I told Woody.

Think of your movies as documentaries.

You can't go wrong.

You mean like on PBS-

Sea Turtles: The Ancient Nomads.

Yeah, but capture the animals
you see around you-

namely the human ones-

because all we are, basically,

are monkeys with car keys.

Huh.

You know, all a filmmaker can do...

is show what it's like to be alive
at a certain place and time.

And it'll be different
than anybody else's movie.

Now, Woody's movie won't look
like Bergman's movie...

or Fellini's movie... or your movie.

My movie.

Shh. Here comes Death.

My sister Cille
has a dress just like that, nu?

...a small, privately owned concern
or incorporate.

Now, there's an upside and
a downside to both things.

The main advantage to incorporation
is you cut your liabilities,

which in a product of this kind
is no small consideration. Mm-hmm.

On the other hand,
with a fledgling corporation like this,

you might wanna consider not putting out
the cash outlay for lawyers,

incorporation fees and other-

Okay, I forget.

Do I cut below the apical bud
or above it?

Above. Come on, Rick.

You're always changing the rules
just to confuse me.

Whatever. Your choice.

- Rick?
- Yeah?

Did I just hear what I think I heard?

- I did, didn't I?
- You did.

Rick, it is you.

And you can talk. It's no big deal.

Well, how did you get here and...
where were you before?

You want me to answer that
in one sentence?

Well, all right, but... why?

- Why? I miss you.
- I miss you too.

So, uh, you're not mad about,
you know, the other women?

But... you're here now. You came back.

Yeah. That's all that matters, hmm?

Oh. I missed you.

Oh, Rick. Mmm.

Good morning, everybody.
This is Chris in the Morning on K-Bear.

It's time to rise and shine,
give God your glory glory.

Hey, before we get started,
I got a couple ofbillboard notes here.

Tom Peets, you can go home.
Carla feels better now.

She says pick up a tube of Elmer's,

and she's gonna glue together
your Fiestaware good as new.

All right. Well, you can't beat that.
And what else?

The owner of that found mutt
answers to the name of Rick,

even if you don't want the dog,
please come forward.

There's some people here
curious to see his papers.

Hey, Maggie, if you're listening,
this one's for you.

Good morning, Rick.

Mm. Right. You want breakfast.

Okay. Let's see.

I think I still have one
in here somewhere.

Ah! Hamm's.

- You know, nobody drinks this stuff
but you-if you're you.

You know, I could never understand how
a grown man could fuel an entire day...

on a bottle of beer
and a handful of sunflower seeds.

I guess you'd like a bowl, huh?
Come on, hmm?

Oh. Look at me.

I'm waiting on you hand and foot.

You waltz in here and turn on the
charm like nothing ever happened.

I thought it was something
that I did or didn't do...

that made you run around on me.

But there's been a lot of water
under the bridge since then.

I've had time to sort things out.
It wasn't me, Rick.

It was you.

You had your chance, and you blew it.

And I was hurt, so the bottom line is...

I am not gonna let it happen again.

So I think you should go.

I think you should leave.

Now. Don't give me that look.
It's not gonna work this time.

Come on. I think you should go.

Out. Now.

Scat. Get out.

How do, Marilyn? Hi.

- Hey, Marilyn.
- Hey.

I thought I'd give Chris the grand tour.

Chris, grab that and bring
it up, will you? Yeah.

Well, here we are. Ratite ranching.

The freshwater-fish farming of the '90s.

There's a fella in Oklahoma realizes over
a million dollars a year offhis herd.

Have you got any idea how much a
pair of these babies go for? What?

Conservatively, 50 G's.

That's more than you'd pay
for prize bull semen.

Well, Marilyn, what's the
good word? We have two more.

Take a look at this, Chris.

You telling me that's not a
gold mine? Wow. Okay, all right.

I'm impressed. That's it for today.

Oh, hold your horses there, Marilyn.

Here. I wanna show you something.

What do you think?

That's me. Exactly. That's
the way to step up production.

No sense in having these critters
idle when you're not here.

I have to go.
Dr. Fleischman's lancing a boil.

Okay. You go right ahead,
sweetheart. I'll mind the store here.

Chris, why don't you
throw some food to 'em?

Okay. Here you go, boys.
Come and get it.

- Come and get it.
- You know, in Switzerland,

this meat is considered a delicacy.

Hey. Lookee here.

Man, I wish you had the camera.

- The deutsche mark looks good today.
- What's it going for?

55.36. Strong against the yen.

What are you leanin' toward?
Condos in Aspen.

Well, you can't go wrong
with real estate.

Mornin', Dr. "Fleeschman." Doctor.

Let me ask you people something.
What do you think about dogs?

I enjoy them. If cooked properly.

- You're kidding, right?
- Particularly this part here just above the withers.

No, no. I mean-I meant-
Really? You mean you-

Well, why not?
It's all just a cultural bias anyways.

They're really just pigs with fur.

But I wanna know, in terms of Rick.
What do you think?

Is it possible that he somehow
got inside the dog?

Well, much has been written
in Indian lore.

The souls of the dead often appear
in the guise of the wolf...

both in dreams and in reality.

Especially if they leave
unresolved issues on Earth.

- So, is the malamute Rick, or is it Memorex?
- Now that I can't say.

There hasn't been much documentation
on dogs per se.

Huh. Okay.

Well, come on in, Jerry.
Let's see about that boil.

Oh, Rick.

I'm so glad you came back.

What'd you bring me, flowers?

Oh, Rick.

Hmm? You want this?

Hi, Fleischman.

How ya doin'?

What's the matter with you, O'Connell?

You're so-

I don't know- preternaturally cheery.

I can't remember
when I've had a nicer day.

We went for a picnic, and then
we went for a walk in the woods.

Who? Wait. You don't mean you and-

Where is he anyways?
He's in my truck asleep.

The poor thing. he was all tuckered out.

Hi, Maggie. What can I do for you?

Hi. Okay, I'd like two coffees to go,
one no sugar.

Uh, one burger, very rare. Hold the bun.

Okay. Better yet, don't cook it at all.

Don't you think you're spending an
awful lot of time around that dog?

Do I detect a note of jealousy,
Fleischman? Jealous? Me? Of a dog?

I'm just trying to point out it's unhealthy,
unbalanced-not to mention disgusting-

for a grown woman to take
on a dog as her life partner.

Even if it is Rick, which it isn't.

Unless, of course, we're talking about
the kind of bestiality flick...

that's usually shown to men
in raincoats on Times Square.

You would see things that way.

Look, I understand. You're
lonely. You miss Rick.

I've never been happier in my life.

He's a dog. Would you quit saying that?

He's not a dog? Look, Fleischman,
love comes in many forms.

You can't put relationships in a box.

All I know is how I feel
when I'm with him. Which is?

Content, comfortable, happy. Happy?

Look, Rick's changed. I mean, death
has really brought out the best in him.

He's got a wonderful disposition now,
and he makes me laugh.

And he doesn't pee on the carpet.

Here we go. Thanks, Shelly.

Send me an invitation to the wedding.

You know, Fleischman, even you
can't bring me down today.

Whose wedding? Maggie and the dog.

Oh, congratulations!

I love weddings.

Marilyn, great news.

The Seattle Times is doin'
a story on us.

It's a Sunday feature-
photos, the whole bit.

It's just you, me and the eggs.

It's not gonna work.
Well, it's P.R., Marilyn.

It's part of the game plan. You know,
Newsweek, the Anchorage Times, CNN-

- What's this? Are you raisin' chickens?
- No.

Well, this looks like a prune pit.

Have we got a problem
here, Marilyn? Uh-huh.

- Do you know what it is?
- You.

Me?

- Me?
- They don't like you.

Well, what did I do?

You make 'em nervous.

They've got brains the size of B.B.'s.

- Which one is it?
- All of them.

Oh, yeah? Let 'em buy
their own food and water.

Let 'em work for a living.

Put 'em on the next plane
back to Africa.

They don't like me? Fine.!

This is business.
I didn't ask 'em to like me.

We'd better forget it. What?

Are you willing to give up a multimillion-dollar
business because of a few rotten apples?

Okay, okay.

They don't like me. Fine.
I'll take the hint.

You babysit 'em. I'll hold up my end.

It's not gonna work.

We're-We're suffering a minor
setback, Marilyn. That's all.

Are-Are you sure you don't wanna...

sleep on it and see how everybody
feels in the morning?

No, thanks.

Afternoon, Fleischman.

Maurice.

Do you mind if I ask you something?

As long as it doesn't involve
transmogrification.

What do you think of me?

Could you be a little more specific?

Well, do you think of me
as a kind person?

Kind? Mm, no.

Well, do you- Do you think of me as, uh,

a-a well-meaning person?

Uh, keep goin'.

All right then.

Do I strike you as someone
with a hidden agenda?

Mm, nothing hidden
about your agendas, Maurice.

You know, sometimes animals
can sense things that, uh,

Homo sapiens are almost blind to.

For example, dogs.

They can hear high-pitched sounds
that, uh-that we humans are deaf to.

Or elephants. They communicate over
long distances with low frequencies.

Elephants? They do that? Yeah.

Yeah. Hmm.

Did you ever have a pet, Joel?

Um, no. No, me neither.

Oh, I've had my share
of hunting dogs, but, uh,

I wouldn't call them pets exactly.

They were more like, uh-

Employees. Yeah. Yeah, that's
- Employees, that's it.

Actually, I lied.
I did have a turtle once. Jimmy.

What happened to him? Died.

I buried him under the terrace.
We lived on the second floor.

There was this place in the dirt.

Did you ever consider that as a sign...

of something lacking in yourself?

No. That turtle liked me.

Used to stick its little head right out from
under its shell when I came home from school.

See, I don't know why
dogs don't like me.

l-I think they feel I'm judging them.

I had a yellow lab bitch once.

Nose like a Tomahawk cruise missile.

Truth is, l- I think they're judging me.

I mean, they can tell I'm afraid.
It's worse when I try to fake it.

Whenever I'd try to take aim, that lab would
look at me out of the corner of her eyes.

I never could get a clean kill when that
dog was anywhere in the neighborhood.

Um, excuse me, everybody.

I just wanted to invite you all
to the opening of my movie...

at the theater tomorrow night at 7:00.

Admission's free.

That's it.

We'll be there.

Hi. Are you Maggie O'Connell?

Yes. Oh, good.

I'm looking for my dog. Your dog?

- I heard a thing on the radio that you found him.
- Oh. Right.

Don't tell me he took off again?

No, I don't think so. He was just, um-

There you are. Come here, Butchy.
Come here, boy.

- Butch.
- Butch?

Butchy. You bad boy.

You come to Mama right this minute.

Oh, you sweet thing. Mama missed you.

Are you sure this is your dog? I
never know where I'm gonna find him.

I spend half my time chasing
after him. He's such a mooch.

- A mooch? Yeah.
- But I love him anyway.

- Well, you can have him.
- I'd better hit the road.

We've got a 400-mile drive
back to Soldotna. Thanks a lot.

Come on, lover boy. Let's go home.

- Come on, Butch.
- Yeah, right.

Thanks again for taking care ofhim.

Come on.

Sorry, Joel. There was a big rush
on Gummy Bears today.

Well, the Milk Duds'll do it.
What's a movie without a sugar shock?

Popcorn. Evenin', O'Connell.

What, no bonbons for the pooch?
Drop dead.

Thanks, Ruth-Anne.

Don't let Ed start without me. Okeydoke.

Oh, Fleischman, you can come out.
The pooch is gone.

Gone? Really?

Where'd he go? Well, if you must
know, his owner came and got him.

And I don't wanna hear any jokes
about it. Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

Too bad you missed her.
She was really attractive.

Well, Rick always did have
an eye for the ladies.

Okay, Fleischman. Maybe you're right,

and I know how important it is
for you to be right about everything.

Maybe I did have some leftover things
to work out about Rick,

and maybe I did work them out
with a dog, but so what?

But, for your information-you skeptical,
rational, empirical know-it-all-

the dog was Rick.

You're right. What do I know?

Welcome. Welcome, ladies.
Thanks for showing up.

Ruth-Anne, come here.
I got a seat. Come on, come on.

Well,

l-I wanna thank everyone for coming.

And, um, here's my movie.

Yeah. Looks great.

Earth. That's my home.

Gravity keeps me
from falling out into space.

I can only be in one place at one time.

For nearly 20 years, I've been on Earth.

That place is Cicely, Alaska.

This is Cicely.

Population about, oh, 839.

Make that 840.

In Cicely, there's a gas station,

a barbershop,

Hey, that's me.

Holling's bar-

and a general store,

which has pretty much
everything you need.

Cicely has many faces.

We work.

We play.

Sometimes we grow up,

and sometimes we don't.

We like the quiet life,

although we do have a reputation
for partying.

People come to Cicely,

and sometimes they go.

Things are always the same in Cicely,

but something new is always happening.

You want to wake up each morning
just to find out what will happen today.