Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 3, Episode 17 - Lost and Found - full transcript

When Joel complains of ghost-like rumblings in the house, Maggie thinks it could be the loner who committed suicide in it decades before, so she orders an exorcism of the house. Meanwhile, the hypochondriac Eve wants Joel's help for her various ailments. And, Maurice is visited by his old Marine colonel who needs to borrow money.

Dear Mark, I hope this gets to you.

I'm using the address
your mom gave my mom

when you took your residency in Houston.

It's hard to believe-
three years since med school.

Remember those all-nighters blitzed
on Mateus, talking about the future?

Hey, you did it. Methodist DeBakey.

What a great gig.

You probably heard I'm working off
my tuition in the wilds of Alaska,

and contrary to
what you might think, I love it.

I mean, life here is so elemental,
so real.

Without the interference
of civilization,



you can really experience things.

Things like-

mmm-

silence.

Like silence.

Yeah, silence in its purity
and darkness.

Yeah, silence and darkness.

Right now, right outside my window,
all I can see is a black void.

Endless darkness.

It's-Well, it's totally exhilarating.

And sure, this is no fellowship
at the Mayo Clinic, but you know,

actually, I feel very lucky to be here.

Very,

very,



very... lucky.

This is Chris in the Morning
on K-Bear, flagship

of the Minnifield Communication Network.

Time for the weather report: It's
cold out, folks, bone-crushing cold.

The kind of cold that'll
wrench the spirit out of a young man...

or forge it into steel.

Speaking of which, I found a single,
fleece-lined, suede glove...

on the stoop of the studio this morning.

It's a men's, right hand.

I know it's got
a lonely mate somewhere...

and a frostbitten owner
eager as a beaver to claim it.

From the "Gone With the Wind" file-

You know that Gold Rush-era,
red-brick building

currently home to Mel's Guns and Ammo?

Well, it's slated for demolition.

I guess after last month's
four-point trembler,

Mrs. Mel declared it
unfit for habitation,

and when Mrs. Mel speaks, Mel listens.

Sorry, buddy.

Hello, Marilyn.
Should I renew the New Yorker?

Yeah, absolutely. Four years?

Don't start. Three. Uh-uh. Four.

Not four. Nowhere near four.
Three years, eight months,

22 days and... 15 hours.

Hey, Marilyn.

I heard something very peculiar.
Is there some kind of winter phenomenon,

maybe due to air density or lack of
humidity, where a sound is distorted,

particularly at night? No.

You know, it's like when
you're in a canyon,

and sounds that are
generated miles away...

seem like they're coming from very near.

Isn't it possible that I
could have heard a sound

which would seem like it
was coming from my cabin,

but in fact it was coming
from someplace quite distant?

No.

See, my point is,
I heard this sound, twice, in fact.

And if I'd have to guess what it is,
I'd say it was a-it was a voice.

Yeah. It was a human voice.

That's what it was. What?

Nothing.

Dr. Fleischman,
I need immediate medical attention.

Just stay where you are and
don't come any closer to me.

I'm thyrotoxic.

I'm suffering from
tinnitus, and notjust a

ringing in my ears, but
a clanging, a pounding.

This is her. This is Eve, the woman who
assaulted me and put me in chains.

If I'm not ravenously hungry,
I throw up at the sight of food.

Get out of my office right now.
Where's Adam? Is he here?

The pain starts in myjoints.
At first I thought

incipient arthritis, and
then I remembered that tick.

Lyme disease.

It's not Lyme disease. It's
not anything. She's not sick!

You're a hypochondriac.
We have established that.

You are a hypochondriac
of epic proportions.

- You're the Mozart of hypochondria.
- I need a doctor.

Yeah, you do. A psychiatrist.

I'm not leaving until you
give me a complete workup.

Threats? You're gonna threaten me? Fine.

Stay here. See if I care.

Want some coffee?

Decaf? Sorry.

Okay. You realize
the childish absurdity of this.

I'll make you a deal. I'll give you
a complete physical, head to toe.

Then you leave and you never darken
my doorstep again. Blood gases?

- Blood gases.
- Cholesterol fractionation?

- I'll even throw in an E.E.G.
- Deal.

In there.

Well, Maurice, that should do it.

What's that?

Bird droppings.

Ed, this car has got to look...

like it just rolled off
the showroom floor.

I want to see myself in that finish.

Hmm. Cherry.

I thought you didn't like to drive it in

the winter, 'cause it
gets all gunked out.

- Colonel McKern's coming.
- A colonel? Like the KFC guy?

Colonel Gordon McKern,
United States Marine Corps, retired.

Yep. Maurice had the honor and privilege
of serving under his command.

You guys go up in the
rocket ship together?

No, Shelly.

Colonel McKern wasn't an astronaut.

He wasn't about to be stuffed into a can
and shot into space.

Not Colonel McKern.

He was an aviator. If he couldn't drive
it, he wanted nothing to do with it.

He was also my C.O. in Korea.

Oh. See ya. See ya.

Give me that.

There was a GM dealer in Houston,
giving cars to all us Mercury boys.

I was gonna grab a 'Vette like everybody
else, but Colonel McKern said,

"Minnifield, at this moment in history,
you embody the American dream.

"It's only right and proper
that you drive...

the American dream."

The colonel deserved this car
as much as I did.

I would have given it to him,

but the colonel never took
anything from anybody.

That was Colonel McKern.

Hello, Joel.

Ruth-Anne.

A lot of animals sound like
people, right?

Cats, for instance, hyenas.

Oh, I suppose so.

See, last night, I, um-

I heard a voice in my cabin, but,
clearly, it must have been an animal.

A voice? Yeah, well, I mean, that's
what it most closely approximated.

What?

That was no animal, Joel.

It wasn't? No.

No? It was Jack.

Jack? Who's Jack?

Jack's back. Who's Jack?

- Maggie didn't tell you?
- Tell me what?

Hey, come on, you guys. What's going on?

You see, Joel, Jack's dead.

Dead? Dead as in deceased,
no longer alive?

- That's right.
- He killed himself in your cabin.

Blew his brains out.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He committed suicide in my cabin?

Took his life? Shot himself in my cabin?

It was a long time ago, Joel.

I don't believe it. Why
didn't anyone tell me?

How come you didn't tell me?
How could anyone not tell me?

- We thought you knew.
- Well, I didn't.

Hey, O'Connell?
Yeah, what now, Fleischman?

Oh, well, it's just a
little something you

neglected to mention when
you rented me the cabin.

Oh, what, the oven vent thing?
No, Jack. You

know, "gun in the mouth,
pull the trigger" Jack.

Oh. That.

"Oh that"? What, that's your answer?

Well, I forgot. You forgot?

Yeah, sorry. You forgot
to mention that a man

sprayed his brains across
the walls of my cabin?

Yes. You purposefully withheld
that information, O'Connell.

You know, there are disclosure laws.
You're legally

obligated to inform a
prospective buyer or tenant...

that a grisly suicide was
committed on the premises.

You know, what is the big
deal, Fleischman? He's

not the first man in
Alaska to commit suicide.

No, I'm sure hundreds of
people take their lives

every day to escape
this loathsome place.

But this is the only one
who did it in my cabin.

I mean, he is the only
one, I assume. Yes.

Well, what? You could have
neglected to tell me something

else, like there was an ax
murder or a serial killing?

Fleischman - I want
information, O'Connell. I want

to know who he was and
why he killed himself.

How should I know? It was over
40 years ago. Did he write a note?

He might have written a note. No.

Well, yes. Sort of.

What-What do you mean, sort of? Well,
it wasn't in a traditional sense.

He crawled over to the wall and
wrote "Alone, alone" with his blood.

He did what?

Look, Fleischman,
you've been there over a year.

If someone hadn't spilled
the beans, you'd still

be perfectly happy. I heard
something last night.

You heard something?
Yeah, something like a voice.

Wait a minute. Joel Fleischman,

a rational, overeducated,
New York doctor is

implying an encounter
with the supernatural?

I mean, this pillar of
empiricism has bought into the

lore of a primitive Alaskan
town and believes in ghosts?

No, I don't believe in ghosts! Well?

I can't believe you would
treat another human

being in such a willfully
duplicitous way.

You should have told me. I had a
right to make an informed choice.

Fleischman, there was no choice.
You either slept

in a ghost-infested cabin,
or you slept outside.

That's not the point, O'Connell.

All right, I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.

Well, your turn, Dr. Fleischman.

Gin.

Dr. Fleischman?

Um, I have gin. Oh.

Oh.

Wow, look at all these face cards, Ed.
You're killing me.

I think it's time we called it a night,
Dr. Fleischman.

Oh, no, no. Come on. We'll-We'll
play to a thousand. But I'm so tired.

Ed, what, it's-Look, it's 1:30.

You want some coffee? I'll make
you some coffee. No, thanks.

I'm gonna go home, Dr. Fleischman.
Wait. Did you just hear him?

- Jack?
- You heard him?

- Did you?
- No.

Me neither. Good.

This is ridiculous! Ghosts.
Ed, do you honestly believe in ghosts?

Oh, sure. Really?

Come on. Think of all the billions
of people who have died in the world.

If ghosts exist, it'd be gridlock.
They'd be everywhere.

- Well, they are.
- They are. Ghosts are everywhere?

Yeah, you know, some are
just louder than others

- like when they have
unfinished business.

Wait a minute.
What do you mean, "unfinished business"?

Well, you know, suicide -
condemned to haunt the

place where he took his
life with his own hand.

Of course, Jack could be
trying to warn you.

Warn me? Warn me of what?

Well, you know, like Demi Moore.

She knew too much. Patrick Swayze
had to come back and save her life.

Ed, that's a movie.
Yeah, but you have to

ask yourself, Dr. Fleischman. Why now?

And why you?
Why are you hearing from Jack now?

Good night, Dr. Fleischman. Wait, wait!

Ed, the roads are, um - They're pretty
icy. You're welcome to spend the night.

Oh. No, thanks, Dr. Fleischman.
I have to go home now.

I'll see you tomorrow though.

Good night.

Hello. Ruth-Anne.

Mm-hmm. You remember Colonel McKern?

Well, yes. How are you?
Very well, ma'am. And you?

Real good, thank you. Good to see you.

Shelly, come over here.
I want you to meet the colonel.

Hi, Colonel. How do
you do? It's a pleasure.

Welcome back to Cicely. Thank
you. It's good to be here.

Holling, would you throw a couple
of nice T-bones on the grill?

Colonel likes his medium rare, a couple
of lunch salads, blue cheese dressing.

You got it.

Oh, wait, listen.
Shelly, would you turn that up?

Hey, that was dedicated
to Colonel Gordon McKern,

an unflinching example of
integrity, strength and honor,

by his friend andjunior
officer, Maurice Minnifield.

Semper fi.

Please, Marilyn, I need a cup of coffee.

You heard Jack again?

No, but I was up all
night listening for him.

Don't worry. Jack never hurt anyone.

- No?
- No.

- Wait. You know about this guyJack?
- Uh-huh.

But when I asked you
yesterday, you acted like

you had no idea what
I was talking about.

I didn't want to scare you. Oh,
thank you, Marilyn. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. Hey!

O'Connell! I want a new cabin!

I don't own another cabin.
Well, then you gotta find me one.

There aren't any. I took the last one.

O'Connell, look, you're
responsible for this.

You rented me that cabin
under false pretenses.

Fleischman, look, I said I was sorry.

O'Connell, I haven't
slept in two nights.

I lie there waiting to hear that voice.

I mean, every sound-a
branch scraping against the

window, the wind blowing
through the cracks, whatever-

it-it sends me into a cold sweat.

My-My heart races.
My-My systolic goes to 160.

I don't know what to say, but I just-
I cannot live like this.

Oh, Fleischman, get a grip. You're
blowing this way out of proportion.

Hey, no, no, no. You're
not weaseling out of

this by painting me as
some kind of hysteric.

All right? I want you to know
I lived in a tenement in New York.

There was a homicide next
door, a knifing, very

violent. I could handle that.
You know why?

I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
Because it was communal.

The whole building shared the same fear.

But this is different.
This is all on me.

This is specific to me.
Blood flowed on my floor.

Forty years ago.

Okay, fine. Look, if it doesn't
bother you, I have a very simple

and equitable solution. We'll
swap cabins. You sleep there.

No. No?

No. No.

Okay, look, I'll see
what I can do. You will?

Yes.

Six, strong, young men
with sledgehammers,

and Mel's Guns and Ammo
is quickly becoming just a memory.

Ask this brick: Who carted you here?

Who-

Who stacked you one on top of the other,

joined you with mortar?

The brick won't talk.

The builder remains anonymous, like
those unsigned cathedrals of Europe.

See, this edifice was not built
for an architect's glory.

It was built with a... vision in mind,

a vision we call Cicely, Alaska.

Are we less without Mel's? Maybe not.

You see, cities,
countries, buildings-they

all have a life cycle
just like us humans.

They come, and they go.

They're just sticks and stones.

The spirit that infuses them,
that's what really counts.

As far as I'm concerned,
the vision remains.

Eve, what are you doing
behind that desk?

Oh, I thought till my test results
come back I could help out.

I don't need your help. I
have Marilyn to do that.

Where is she? She had a
previous commitment.

If you're concerned about
my qualifications, I

have spent many hours
in doctors' offices...

observing, participating.

I'm familiar with every aspect of
office management and patient protocol.

Look, Eve- You have a patient.

A patient? Hey!

Mr. Swanson, this is Dr. Fleischman.
He'll be examining you today. Hi.

I've been getting these pains
in my chest.

Just a moment, Mr. Swanson. May I
speak to you for a moment, Doctor?

Why? Please.

Excuse me.

What? I did a preliminary
workup on Mr. Swanson.

What! Very routine, nothing invasive.

The patient was afraid
he'd suffered a heart

attack, but I think we can
safely rule that out.

You are not qualified
to touch a patient.

I was just trying to save you time.

Now, there's no weakness, no sweating.

His blood pressure's normal.
The pain's not related to stress.

Of course, I think we should run
an electrocardiogram just to be sure.

He's not suffering from pleurisy or

pneumonia. It doesn't
hurt him to breathe.

I listened to his chest-
perfectly clear, no rubs.

Do the episodes occur at night?
Almost exclusively.

Well, maybe esophagitis.

That's what I was thinking.

He experiences the pain
after particularly spicy meals.

Alcohol? Yes.

Well-

Okay, this doesn't mean I approve.
My patients

are strictly off-limits.
Do I make myself clear?

You sure?

Last year,

I hooked into a 12-and-a-half-pound
Dolly Varden right at this spot.

A grumpy one. A real fighter.
Thought she was gonna snap my line.

How about a shot?
Yeah, I don't mind if I do.

There you go. Ah, thanks.

In the summer,
we get quite a steelhead run up here.

It'd be my pleasure if you
wanted to come back. Ahh.

I didn't tell you Maurice. I'm
- I'm opening up a lodge in Montana.

No, you didn't.

You know, I'm not real crazy
about these night crawlers.

Maybe at 12:00,
we'll change over to roe.

That'd be a good idea.

Yeah, we're building on Flathead Lake,
couple of hundred acres.

Beautiful place. Hmm.

We'll have golfing, hunting, fishing-
the works.

Sounds like a winner.

Yeah, it's just kind of hard
to get these bankers on board.

We've got a capital investment
of $500,000.

I've got 440,000.

Boy, I've been beatin' the bushes.
Money's awful tight.

Whole damn thing
is liable to fall through.

I, uh-I think I got a nibble there.

No.

No.

You know, I was thinking if-

if you was interested, well, uh,

you might want to invest.

You know, if you were so inclined.

Sure, yeah.

When do you need the money?

Well, considering the...

time constraints,

we could use it now.

Oh. Yeah, it's no- no problem.

I'll write you a check
when we get back to the house.

Maurice, I've got a prospectus on this.
I want you to read it.

No, no, Colonel. That's fine.

If you say it's a good investment,
I'm sure it is.

l- I trust your judgment.

I think it's, uh-
it's time to change to roe.

Yeah.

Generally, I like
the Swiss Lemon Maalox.

It's tart, light, nice chilled.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Sometimes I like something
a little sweeter,

something with a little more... fruit.

Then I go for the cherry.

Well, personally, I prefer Mylanta.

Ohh.

Mylanta definitely has its place.

It's unpretentious, simple.

Very consistent.
Goes beautifully with decongestants.

Hey, Ruth-Anne? Joel.

Um, I'd like to see the town records.

Uh, just a minute. Oh, go
ahead. I'm gonna be a while.

Oh, thank you.

Let me see if we can find
what you want. I think we can.

Great. I appreciate it.

Watch out for this third step
from the bottom. A plank's loose.

Aah! Let me see.

I thinkJack died in '48.

Oh, can you reach this? Yeah.

Do you have mice here? Marmots mostly.

All right, watch out.

Set it right here.

God, there's a lot of cobwebs
around here.

Boy, look at this picture.
Hey, isn't that Holling's bar?

Yeah, they called it
the Bearded Nail in those days.

Oh, yeah? Why'd they call
it that? I have no idea.

Oh, here it is. Larson, John R.

There's Jack. Wow.

Well, he was young.
I imagined him much older.

He looks- Huh, he looks so normal.

Here's the police report.

"The victim is an unmarried,
30-year-old white male,

short blond hair, brown eyes."

He was a geologist.

He came from Indianapolis.
He came up here to prospect for gold.

Well, why would someone
like that take his own life?

He was a solitary man.

Not very social.

He became despondent.

He was 30 years old, Ruth-Anne.
He had his whole life ahead of him.

It's easy to lose your perspective,
Joel, when you're snowbound...

and trapped alone
in the wilds of winter.

Your cabin was isolated back then.

Oh, back then? It's not exactly the hub
of a thriving metropolis right now.

Well, you have infrastructure,
Joel, a road.

Jack was paddling upriver
without a canoe.

I think I have some of his belongings.

Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Ah, here.

These were here when I took over the
store. Nobody ever came for them.

Funny about personal effects.

After Bill died, l-

I couldn't bear to look at
his shoes. Roget's Thesaurus.

Well, I've got to get
back upstairs, Joel.

He's got notes in the margins.

You can take that stuff
along with you if you want to.

Is that all right? Technically, no.

But it's been 40 years,
and I don't think

anybody's going to miss it. Thank you.

Would you put this away? Yeah.

Thank you.

In ancient Greece and Rome,

the community, the city, was everything,
the whole enchilada.

You had no identity without it.

You piss off the Powers That Be,
and you got the boot.

The Big E, exile, persona non grata.

You take Oedipus, that unlucky fella who

killed his father and
married his mother.

They string him up?
Did they slit his throat?

No way. Check it out.

"Let him flee,
nor ever approach the temples.

Let no citizen speak to or receive him.

Let no one admit him
to the prayers or sacrifices.

Let no one offer the lustral waters."

Hmm.

You talk about a cold shoulder.

They called that capital punishment.

Think about that.

Look at me. What do you see?

You see a seemingly normal,
healthy woman.

That's what's so deceptive
about neurological disorders.

That mole on your cheek-

scaly, irregular borders.

Get it removed, quickly,
if it's not already too late.

The weakness which I'm experiencing
will only get worse.

Soon I won't be able
to lift small objects,

to brush my hair, to feed myself.

Eventually, I'll be confined
to a wheelchair,

in need of round-the-clock nursing care.

Uh-oh.

What? Your fingernails. They're flat.

Flat?
There's a documented correlation...

between flat fingernails
and coronary artery disease.

Awful to have that
hanging over your head.

Excuse me, ma'am. I appreciate
your concern over my clientele,

but some of them get
a might uneasy over certain, uh,

topics.

What? What are you
taking for your thyroid?

I beg your pardon? Never mind.

What? Who's there?

- Hi.
- Oh. Come on in.

This is Emile. Oh, hi.

Hello. Was the cabin built...

on a cemetery or a burial ground?

No, I don't think so.
Oh, what's going on?

Well, you know, I told you
I'd try to do something. So?

- Well, so, Emile's an exorcist.
- An exorcist?

Mm-hmm. An exorcist? An
exorcist, like, a priest exorcist?

I was a priest.
The church and I don't see eye to eye.

It refuses to confront...

the very real presence of evil in the
world in a serious, committed way.

Um, you realize you caught me
a little off guard here, O'Connell.

I mean, this is all kind of new
to me, so, um-

See, we don't have exorcism
in my religion, and, uh,

I was always taught
that it's a primitive,

uh, superstitious practice,
so I'm at a little disadvantage.

I understand. So, what? You-You, uh-
You send the spirit away, is that right?

Cast it out. Okay.

Cast it out. Good, hey.

I mean, guess what I
think doesn't really

matter. It's what gets
the job done, right?

Right. Right.

So, uh, where exactly does Jack go?

Go?

Yeah, you know, after you cast him out.

- Suicide is a mortal sin.
- Mortal sin?

Yeah, he died unforgiven, unredeemed.

Oh, so he'd go-

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

You know, it's kind of
chilly in here, isn't it?

Why don't I, uh, build a fire?
That'd be nice.

You see, um-

I just want to getJack out of the house.
I'm not really angry at him or anything.

I understand how you feel.

Every lost soul is a
cause for personal grief.

Right.

His suffering is not in vain if it
serves as an example for others.

Look, um-I want to thank you
for coming here tonight.

I'm sure you're a really a busy man.

But look, Jack is really
more of a victim,

someone you should feel sorry for.
Eh, l-

And even though in my heart of hearts
I don't actually believe any of this,

just the thought that
I could in some way

be party to someone's,
uh, eternal torment-

Well, I have a hard time with that. I
have a real hard time with that. Ehh-

But look, if I change my mind,
I'll know who to call, okay?

Bye. Thanks.

Okay, I need some kindling.

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

You don't have to do
that right now, Maurice.

It'll just take a sec.

What was that now?
Uh, 60,000, wasn't it?

Yeah, whatever you're comfortable with.

Sixty thousand.

Well, there's John,

Al.

I sure was proud of you boys.

I thought we'd go out to Little Kagamil,

shoot some grouse for our dinner.

Sure, fine. There you go.

Much obliged.

Marilyn, don't get up.
He's expecting me.

Hello, Eve. Take a seat, please.

Thank you, Marilyn.

Thank you. Thank you, Marilyn.

Okay.

You can be absolutely honest with me.
I can handle it.

Well, actually I do owe you an apology.
Um, your symptoms were not imaginary.

I knew it. It's Marfan
syndrome, isn't it? Eve-

With proper health management,
I still have months

of quality time left.
It's not Marfan syndrome.

Cardiomyopathy? No.

Then what? You are pregnant.

Pregnant? Uh-huh.

Oh.

Well, this is very interesting.

It all makes sense now
- the nausea, the

ocular migraines, the
change in pigmentation.

Look, I expect you'll
need time to absorb this.

Consider my various options? Well-

Yes. Thank you.

May I?

Sure.

Take her away. That's it.

What did you hit? A tree.

How? You go off the road?
That's correct.

Watch my finger.

How fast were you going?
I don't know-70, 75.

Wait a minute.
You hit a tree going 75 miles an hour?

Yeah. That is unbelievable.

That's incredible. You-You hit a tree
at that speed, you and the colonel,

you're hurled from the car,
and both of you get up and walk away?

Who's the president of the United
States? Don't ask stupid questions.

I'm supposed to find out
if you're oriented.

You might have hit your head. I'm fine.

Look, Maurice, you know,
I'm sorry about your car,

but you should be thankful
that neither of you

were hurt. Let me tell you
something, Fleischman.

In '51,

we were sent out
to hit a bridge near Taegu.

Colonel McKern was the leader.

A kid named Davis and I
were his wingmen.

The triple "A" was flying pretty hard
that day. Davis got hit, went down.

His ordnance fell short of the bridge.

The colonel and I both
hit it with a couple

of thousand-pound bombs, took it out.

We knew we'd be decorated.

When the colonel wrote the report, he
said that Davis hit the bridge, not him.

Davis's family got the Navy Cross-

Colonel McKern's Navy Cross.

Wow.

There's never been a man that I
admired more than Gordon McKern.

That's why I lost control
of the damn car.

- Huh?
- He asked me for money.

What? He asked me for money.

A lot of money?

It doesn't matter how
much money, Fleischman.

The point is, he was my C.O.

My superior.

I would have walked
through fire for him.

I would have gladly died for him.

Yet, he needed me. He needed me.

Well, look, Maurice,
people get tight every now and then.

Now, don't tell me that he's only human.

I've got all the humans I can use.

Dr. Fleischman, I have a lot
of difficult decisions to make.

Adam and I never planned
to have children.

We do a lot of traveling,
entertaining-You might not know

it, but I'm an avid collector
of fin-de-siècle bronze.

Adam, besides his own cooking, writes a

column for the New
Republic, he lectures-

It all keeps him very busy. Naturally,

he's very protective
of his private time.

Yes, naturally.

We've both invested a lot
in a certain kind of lifestyle,

never anticipating children.

It's not that we don't like them.
It's just

that our lives are so
fulfilled as it is.

- Yeah, I understand.
- This has caught me so off guard.

I really need your professional
advice. Well, I'll do what I can do.

Should I continue to drink milk?

Excuse me?

Milk contains phosphorous.
Some physicians

think it contributes to leg cramps.

Others think the nutritional benefits
to the baby outweigh the risk.

Oh, um,

well, um, it's a matter
of some contention.

If only I had known
I was going to get pregnant.

What?
I would have gotten on a waiting list.

Preschool.
All the decent ones are packed.

Look, Eve, why don't we set up a
schedule for a prenatal exam?

This is not easy for me, Dr. Fleischman.

Hmm?

As you know,

we've enjoyed a rewarding
doctor-patient relationship. Mm-hmm.

And I can honestly say, I've found
you to be a first-rate internist.

Well, thank you.

You're just not qualified
to be my obstetrician.

I'm gonna need live-in help.
Do you know anyone reliable?

It's just so difficult these days. Oy.

Hi, Dave. Hi, Maggie.

Holling, could you spare
a quart of milk?

I'll check in the fridge. Thanks.

It's kind of late, Fleischman.
Well, I'm not

particularly anxious
to go home, O'Connell.

Well, don't blame me. I tried to help.

Look at this. Jack made a vow to learn
10 new words a day. I used to do that.

Yeah. December 3rd, 1947:
"uxorious, floromancy, escutcheon."

You see the slant of his cursive?
He must have been a lefty.

And this... pipe, right?

You can see the teeth marks.
He chewed on it.

PoorJack. I can just picture him.
He's all

alone in my cabin, chewin' on his pipe.

Fleischman, look at yourself. What?

You're obsessing on him. No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. And you know why? Why?

Simple. You'reJack.
You identify with him.

You'reJack. Jack is you.
Yes, well, thank you, Dr.

Joyce Brothers, for that
penetrating analysis.

You live alone, he lived alone.
You're antisocial, he was antisocial.

He had no friends-Wait a minute. I have-
I have friends. I have a lot of friends.

Here you go, Maggie. Hey,
Holling. We're friends, aren't we?

- Friends?
- Yeah, friends.

Well, I never thought
about it like that.

I mean, I like you well enough, Joel,
but you do tend to keep to yourself.

It's gettin' late.
Closing up in five minutes.

- It's one person, O'Connell.
- Face it, Fleischman.

You've made it very clear from the
beginning you were just passing through.

You've done everything you
can to keep people at

arm's length. You know
that calendar of yours?

I've seen it. You mark
each day off with a

big, black X. You haven't even unpacked.

You know, if a rock hit you tomorrow,
we'd shake our heads, toast your memory,

but then Maurice would just
buy another doctor.

I'm tired.

Good night, Fleischman.

Pondering this here phenomenon we call
Cicely, Alaska, you might ask yourself.

Where do cities come from in the first

place? Well, like most
things, from an idea.

You see, our ancestors had the notion
that the dead weren't really dead.

They just kept on
boogying on underground.

So to make sure that the dead had
a regular supply of chow and vino,

they put feed times on the calendar.

Presto-
We had rituals, festivals, religions.

Now, you take some families...

and you give 'em the same religion,
you got a tribe.

A few tribes, what do you got?
Athens, Thebes, Rome.

It's weird but true. We
got cities 'cause those

ancient folks wanted to
do right by the dead.

It's no accident that the church
and the graveyard stand side by side.

The city of the dead sleeps encircled
by the city of the living.

Well, that just about does it. Yeah.

You know, I believe it's colder today.

A little bit. Yeah.

I don't guess you and I'll be
seeing each other for a while.

And there's something
I want to clear up with you.

The reason that I
never became an astronaut...

wasn't because I turned them down.

Nobody asked me.

Take care, Minnifield.

You too, sir.

Ready, medium rare. Excellent. Ha-ha!

Hey, big E! Big E!

Where's the brew dogs, Daddy-o?
Keg's in the fridge.

Right. Chris, would you mind
putting out the tabbouleh salad?

Sure.

Okay, I want cheese on mine.
All righty. Comin' right up.

You know, Fleischman, this is
really out of character. How's that?

Well, you know,
Joel Fleischman having a party.

Making the slightest effort
to be a social human being?

Condiments are on the table, O'Connell.

What are we supposed to infer
from this, Fleischman?

That maybe you're actually
starting to like it here?

Not at all.
I still detest this frozen wasteland.

But I think of it like a prison.

It's a terrible, dreadful place,
but I might meet some nice people.

Next.

It changes everything.

The ego falls away,
and you stop worrying about yourself.

You just focus on the baby.

You think: This person inside me,

what will she be like?

Yeah. Will she be asthmatic?

Will she pronate?
Will she have her father's malocclusion?

It's all such a glorious mystery.

I remember once, Colonel McKern...

was tailing a MiG-15
over the Yalu River.

The Chinese pilot tried to blind him.
It was

noon, so he led him right into the sun.

The colonel never blinked.
He just stayed

right on his tail doing vertical rolls,

and then blew him into shrapnel
with his 50-millimeter cannon.

That was typical of the colonel.

Everything he did,
he did with an innate sense of...

elegance.

Mmm! Good, moist. It's bread
crumbs. My grandma taught me that.

Hey, Joel. Yes, yes.

Everybody,
let's get a picture of this now.

Over on that side of the room,
right around-right around the sofa.

Everybody get on over there now. That's

it. Move in there close.
That's good now.

Get all in there.
Okay, now, scrunch up close together.

Do you still want another cabin?

Nah, it's okay. Actually, it's
kind of nice having a roommate.

All right now. When I count five grizzly
bears, everybody say "Canada. '"

Hurry, babe!

One grizzly bear, two grizzly bears,

three grizzly bears, four grizzly bears,

five grizzly bears,

Canada!

The ancients knew that
we all share a common fate.

They gathered around their hearths,
their sacred fires,

not just to remember
those who had gone before,

but... to comfort each other...

in the face of their own
inevitable journey.

Mr. Einstein put it like this:

"Strange is our situation
here upon Earth.

However, there's one thing
that we do know:

that man is here
for the sake of other men.

Above all, for those upon
whose smile and well-being...

our own happiness depends.

And also for the countless
unknown souls...

with whose fate we are
connected by a bond of sympathy."

Good night, Cicely.

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