No Ordinary Family (2010–2011): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

Every story has a beginning.

But ours doesn't start
the way you might think.

Sure, it begins on a
street that looks like most.

And with a family that was,
for the most part, normal.

Average.

Ordinary.

It was the morning I
convinced my wife, Stephanie,

to turn her research trip into a
much needed family vacation.

While your mom's working we'll
be out and about exploring Belem.

Belem?

It's in Brazil, sweetie.



Brazil?

South America, dumb ass.

Hey, hey.

I just don't know why
we have to go right now.

It's not a good time
for me and Lucas.

Not a good time? You've only
been dating this kid for two weeks!

When did you start
dating Lucas Fisher?

Just because you Twitter-spy me,

doesn't mean that you
know everything about my life.

When was the last time we did
something together as a family?

Last month. You forced
us to play charades

and then you pulled out your back
miming some scene from Iron Man.

That was an old sports
injury I re-aggravated.

No, I mean when was the last
time we did something as a family?



Yellowstone, three years ago.

We all got poison ivy.

There's no poison
ivy in Brazil, kid.

Right?

I just don't know why you
guys can't go without me

and then photoshop me in later.

Look, we're all gonna go,

and we're all gonna
have the time of our lives.

DAPHNE: That's the
plane? Are you kidding?

STEPHANIE: It
does look a little...

Like a flying coffin.

JIM: Come on, you guys.
Since we've been here,

we have not done
one thing together.

You text. You work. And
you stare at the television.

You gotta concentrate.
It's in South American.

For one hour,

we are going to take a
sunset tour of the rainforest.

Together, as a family.

Because that's how
memories are made.

Whether you want them or not!

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Hey, this storm really
came out of nowhere, huh?

Don't worry.

I've flown through much worse.

Yeah? When?

Actually, I was just trying
to make you feel better.

This is about as bad
as I've ever been up in.

Who are you texting now?

God.

(DAPHNE SHRIEKS)

Where are your life
vests? Back there.

Hold on.

Dad? It's okay, pussy cat.

Are we gonna crash?

JIM: Here.

Okay, kid.

It's just like Space
Mountain, right?

As soon as Mitch gets
us down safe and sound,

you'll be begging me to
go up again, I promise.

(LIGHTNING STRIKES)

That didn't happen
on Space Mountain.

PILOT: Mayday, mayday, mayday.

This is Papa, Delta,
Baker, Alpha, Sierra.

We've got complete
engine failure.

I'm gonna die. And I
haven't even done it yet.

Listen, listen.

We're gonna be
all right. I promise.

Have I ever lied to you before?

About anything this important?

Yeah.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Buckle up!

Steph!

Me, too.

JIM: At that moment I couldn't help
wondering how my family got here,

from here.

A time that was quite simply...

perfect.

And I had never been happier.

But if there is a downside

to your family being the
center of your entire world...

Toss the rock with Dad?

It's that eventually
all families grow up.

Wanna play some ball with Daddy?

Grow apart.

Stephanie barely
had time to notice.

Who could blame her?

Her career as a research
scientist had taken off.

Executive Vice
President of Research.

And I was happy for her.

But I missed...

us.

We were all living
under the same roof,

but in different worlds.

And I was all alone in mine.

So that's how we got here.

And this,

this was the beginning.

Hold on!

JJ: Oh, my God!

PILOT: Brace for impact!

Hold on!

JJ: Dad!

Mom!

JIM: Fortunately,
we all survived.

Jim, the pilot.

Mitch!

Unfortunately, our
pilot wasn't as lucky.

Get up, JJ!

We held each other close,

vowing a new
beginning to things.

Sincere,

heartfelt promises.

Yes, all right, well,
just shoot me an email

and I will see you first
thing in the morning.

All right, bye.

JJ, remember, your
report's due tomorrow.

And Daphne, you need to
find your basketball uniform.

DAPHNE: Yeah, fine.

Sorry.

(SIGHS)

That was Katie from the lab.

You okay?

Guess it was crazy to think
a trip would change anything.

Look, Jim, I know you wanted us
to have some great family moments,

but, come on, we survived
a plane crash together.

Talk about a memory
that'll last a lifetime.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Yeah, it's work, it can wait.

How about dinner tomorrow night?

No cell phones,
no urgent emails,

just a nice bottle of wine,
and a few hours to remind us.

Of what?

How great we are together.

JIM: You know what I was really
thinking when that plane was going down?

"I should have
flown commercial"?

The world needs her.

I mean, who she
is, what she does.

Stephanie matters.

And me? Who am I?

A failed painter?

Ineffectual police artist?

A guy who won't shut
up when I'm trying to hit?

Look. Have you
tried, radical idea,

just telling her how you feel?

How are you supposed
to tell someone that

you've been living
separate lives?

I am no expert on marriage,

as my last two
wives will attest,

but here.

A divorce attorney?

That's the wrong card.
I'm sorry about that.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Couples' therapist?

Both my ex-wives
begged me to see him.

That, and hating me,

were the only two things
they had in common.

Now had I listened,

maybe I wouldn't
have needed this card.

Maybe you won't either.

JIM: Ma'am, the more
details you give me,

the better sketch I can draw.

WOMAN: I don't see the point.

I already told the detectives
I couldn't see his face.

He was wearing a mask.

Of President Obama, I know.

But if you can
remember anything,

hair color, eye color.

See, I can create a composite,
which I can give to the detectives.

Now, it's not gonna
bring your husband back,

but it might help
save somebody else's.

We opened that jewelry store
with money from my father.

Why don't we
take a little break?

(CRYING)

(EXHALING)

Powell.

Cho.

Detective Cho.

Day after day,

facing people you
know you just can't help.

How do you do it?

By not asking
myself that question.

Crime's up. It's as
bad as I've seen it.

I wish more people around
here cared as much as you do.

Gun! Gun!

(GUNSHOT)

You all right?

Yeah. You?

Yeah.

The bullet.

Where did it go?

Hey, hey. You all right?

I...

I just need some fresh air.

In the morning, there's that split
second just before you wake up

when the world hasn't
pressed itself in on your chest.

Before you remember your work.

Or the husband you
can't connect with.

Or the kids you
fear you'll disappoint.

(JIM WHISTLING)

But what I woke up to that morning
was something very different.

What I woke up to was a
man I hadn't seen in years.

Beautiful day, huh?

(SIGHS)

Want me to close this?

I've been meaning to fix that.

STEPHANIE: Though Jim seemed
different, I barely had time to wonder why.

And truth is, I barely
had any time at all.

Between work and home,

there weren't enough
hours in the day.

JJ's meeting with the
guidance counselor is at 3:00,

but they might
move it back to 2:00,

so be on call just in case.
Be on call just in case.

Anybody who wants a ride,
now would be the time. Let's go.

Egg's right here.

All right, I will
see you later, JJ.

Daph.

Everything okay?

Look, I can tell there's
something on your mind.

About Lucas?

Or the plane crash?

We did just have a near-death
experience, it's bound to change you.

That whore!

Or not.

Hi, baby! Excuse me. Hi.

Daphne. You're back.

Yeah, and just in
time, too, apparently.

Yeah, I'm really glad that
you survived the accident.

Those memorial assemblies
are super depressing.

I know, I remember the
one we had for your virginity.

What was it, like,
two years ago?

(FAKES LAUGHING) See ya.

See ya.

Hey. Hi.

I'm so glad you're back.

Me too.

How are you? I'm better now.

I'll hook up with
you later, okay?

Okay.

Hey, Daph.

Nice view.

I can't tell what's cuter.

The fact that Lucas has no
idea Lindsay's hitting on him

or that he's too
into me to see it.

KATIE: The board's waiting
for you in the conference room.

Crap! I'm having dinner with Jim
and I forgot to make reservations.

Could you? Yes.

All right, someplace where they
won't give the table away if I'm late.

Yes.

But amid the untold natural
resources of the Amazon basin,

we have uncovered, perhaps,

the crown jewel.

The Trilsetum coronis.

A plant?

You're wasting the
board's time on a plant?

Carbon-fourteen dating
traces the Trilsetum coronis

back to the Pleistocene Epoch,

and as we know, that was...

I stand corrected. You're wasting
the board's time on a really old plant.

Dr. Chiles.

You'll get your turn to
waste the board's time.

CHAIRMAN: Indeed.

Continue, Dr. Powell.

Our facilities in Belem
are already experimenting

with practical applications
across our divisions.

Pharmaceuticals,
papers, green fuel.

I'd bet money there is
nothing this plant can't do.

I want to buy out the
whole place. One hour.

And I want you to take a break.

Sorry, I'm not allowed
to leave you alone here...

for more than an hour.

(SIGHS)

Come on.

(LAUGHING)

(WHOOPS)

(POWERING UP)

Dr. King.

Stephanie.

I've been looking for you.

Sorry, I had to...

step out for a second.

No need to be defensive.

I'm not that much of
a taskmaster, am I?

Don't answer that.
At least not honestly.

No, the reason I was looking
for you is I have some good news.

The chairman's intrigued.

By? You.

Your very old
plant, specifically.

He's flying in tonight.

Wants an in-depth
presentation over drinks.

Drinks?

A social custom commonly
enjoyed between adults.

He wants to fund your research.

Don't fracture
anything jumping for joy.

(LAUGHS)

Can't wait.

I'll see you later.
We'll leave from here.

Okay. All right.

(SIGHING)

I mean, if this is
a surprise party,

I'd say that the
turnout's a bit depressing.

It's not.

There's something I got
to show you, watch this.

You know, I'm no Hideki Matsui

but it might be a little easier
if you actually used a bat.

Ha!

You've been taking magic
classes at the Learning Annex?

It's not magic classes.

Whoa, I think we're stepping over
the line here. Where did you get that?

Precinct supply closet.

Surprisingly poor lock.

What do you need that for?

I don't. You do.

(COCKS GUN)

I need you to shoot me.

(CLEARING THROAT)

(PHONE RINGS)

JIM: Hey, Steph.

Look, date night's not
looking so promising.

Chairman's in town, and he...

No, that's fine.

Oh.

Okay.

Well,

I will get home
as soon as I can.

We'll grab some take-out,
light some candles,

and still have our night.

Absolutely. Okay.

Okay, let's do this.

I can't believe
I'm gonna kill you.

You're not gonna
kill me, George.

You're just gonna shoot me.

I'm a D.A.

And according to the
law, kind of the same thing.

I told you. I did
this yesterday.

I just have to see
if I can do it again.

What if you can't?
Where does that leave us?

You dead and me showering
with a bunch of guys

I suddenly wish I
hadn't put away.

Something extraordinary
is happening to me.

Something impossible.

And I just... I need your
help to figure out what it is.

Please.

Okay, George,

just aim

and fire.

I'm not... I'm not...

George.

George.

Dr. Powell.

Dr. King left a message.

Said to meet them at
the chairman's hotel.

I'd take the freeway
if I were you.

Surface streets are a
mess this time of day.

And that's when it happened.

In the world of science, we call
it an unexplained phenomenon.

(WHOOSHING)

An occurrence so
random and bizarre,

that it defies explanation.

(MUFFLED BOOM)

And in a life short on time

I suddenly found myself...

fast.

(CARS HONKING)

For the next few weeks, I did my
best to act as if nothing had changed.

I'd kiss my family goodbye,

counting the minutes
till I could meet George

to write the owner's
manual for my new ride.

Most of them can fly.

I can't fly.

I remember when you
couldn't catch bullets either.

I can't fly.

Just take a running jump.

Look, get a head
of steam, right,

and you just think like
something that can fly.

(MIMICS PLANE)

That's easy for you to say,

but if this doesn't
work, I'm roadkill.

From the guy that begged
me to shoot him the other day.

All right.

Just...

(YELLING)

(SCREAMING)

(DOG BARKING)

GEORGE: Okay!

You can't fly!

Holy...

But you can jump.

You can jump, man!

Okay, okay, okay.

STEPHANIE: I wasn't sure
what was happening with Jim.

You all right?

But I had to share my
new abilities with someone.

A peer.

Someone who had
the scientific capacity

to understand what
was happening to me.

Can I talk to you?
In confidence?

Oh, my God, you're firing
me. Are you firing me?

STEPHANIE: Admittedly,
I might have chosen better.

No.

No, I'm not firing you. Oh, God.

This is about me.

Okay, are you gonna tell
me something really personal

like we're best friends, even
though I'm just your lab tech,

'cause that would totally validate
everything I've been working on in therapy.

No, you know that superhero thingy
you keep in your cubicle downstairs?

Oh, Kitty Pryde? Yeah,
she's my favorite X-Man.

Well, X-Woman technically.

(WHOOSHING)

I'm fast.

I can't believe I'm here...

(MUFFLED BOOM)

doing this.

Accepting this!

How does your body cut
through the wind shear?

Why doesn't the Coulomb
friction singe your clothes?

Are you generating some
kind of charged plasma field

from the kinetic energy?

Is that why incoming debris isn't
sandblasting off your corneas?

(PANTING)

How'd I do?

You were doing a
mile every six seconds.

I thought I was faster
than that. Oh, my God.

(GASPS) Oh, my
God! The Olympics!

You should totally enter.
Where are they this year?

Korea? They're always in Korea.

No, no, Katie, Katie, I'm not
interested in the Olympics.

Okay, what are
you interested in?

Making time.

KATIE: Thanks to your
increased metabolic rate,

your life is like a
never-ending Spin class.

So, despite the need
for massive caloric intake,

you're gonna be a size
zero for the rest of your life.

I hate you.

Oh, my gosh! It's already 3:00.

I've got to, well,

run.

(WHOOSHING)

Mom. Hi.

What are you doing out here?

I told you I would make some
time to help with your school work.

So what do we have here?

Math.

All right. "If a bullet train leaves
New York going 350 miles per hour..."

(LAUGHS)

I think I can help
you on this one.

GEORGE: Here's
what we know so far.

You can jump just over a
quarter mile in a single leap.

A single what?

Fine. Single bound.

No discernible
increase in foot speed.

However, you can
lift just in the area

of 11,000 pounds,

and you can catch bullets.

So have you talked to Steph about
this? Told her what you can do?

Nope.

Jim,

she's your wife.

You have to bring her
into this cone of silence.

What is that?

(CHATTER ON RADIO)

What are you doing
with a police scanner?

I have these abilities. I should
be using them for something, right?

Like stopping these psychos in
Obama masks killing innocent people.

Hold on.

All we have learned so far
is that we have a lot to learn.

You're special, but
you're not invincible.

I don't even know if you're
vincible. (CELL PHONE RINGING)

George! Hold on. It's Stephanie.

Tell her.

JIM: Hello? Hey.

I finished work, I
tutored JJ, and I...

It isn't even 4:00 yet.

And I can jump a
quarter of a mile.

I'm moving kind of fast today.

Anyway, the kids
aren't here and...

Remember what we'd do sometimes

when we both had
a free afternoon?

(STEPHANIE SIGHS)

It's nice to remember
we're good at that.

Yeah.

That's a nice
thing to be good at.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

You seem different to me.

Me?

Yeah.

I thought that about you.

You have?

Jim, how could I not notice?

I mean, you seem...

happy.

(SIGHS)

What?

My life wasn't turning
out the way I'd hoped.

Meanwhile, you're running
around, living your dreams...

Yes, I was running,

so much that I was
falling short at everything.

"Falling short"?

Honey,

who could keep up with you?

Well, you couldn't
because you stopped trying.

(EXHALES)

All right, we both
stopped trying.

You wanna know what's
going on with your daughter?

Hmm?

She's afraid she's gonna lose her
boyfriend to a girl that'll sleep with him,

because she's not ready to yet.

And JJ.

He's struggling with school,

because the school wants
to put him in remedial classes,

but you won't accept the fact that
your son has a learning disability.

Now, you may have
known all these things

if you were home for more
than 20 minutes a night.

Right.

Because it's the
dream of every wife

to work 80 hours a week
to support her family.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

JIM: Hello? Guess what?

You got your wish.

Obama mask. Robbery
in progress. You're on.

Okay. Perp...

Perp, I like that.

(CHATTER ON RADIO)

Perp headed north
on Twelfth and Fig.

Okay.

I have to go.

(SIRENS WAILING)

(SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

Hey. Hey, George.

I'm on top of the Simonson Building
heading north. Which way now?

GEORGE: It's a left.

Are you sure you don't
wanna use the freeway route?

'Cause it looks much faster.

I'm not worried
about traffic, George.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

You're going away
for a long time.

(GUNSHOT)

(LAUGHING)

George.

Help me, George.

I've been shot.

You're awake.

Look, you had some blood loss,
but the bullet didn't penetrate too far.

We sewed you up.
You're as good... "We"?

No, George.

Don't tell me... Where
was I supposed to take you?

To the hospital?

And explain to the attending
why a large caliber bullet

only penetrated a quarter of
an inch through your scalp?

But she'll never understand
what's happening to me.

Oh, I think you'll be surprised.

Remember the sketch
of me in your studio?

The one you drew
on our first date?

Yeah.

(WHOOSHING)

You two are freaky.

But how?

(STEPHANIE SIGHS)

You know, I've been racking my
brain and the only possible variable...

The plane crash?

It's the only explanation.

And when our plane went down,

the water had a phosphorescence.

At the time, I thought it
was gasoline from the plane.

But gas floats on water.

This didn't.

It's the only thing that makes
sense. If any of this makes any sense.

But we were all in the water.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Daphne?

Calm down, honey. Where are you?

DAPHNE: I called Dad.

He has a headache.

He's home resting.

I just usually talk to him
about this sort of thing.

I know.

(SIGHS)

Before the game,

I was on the court.

With Emily.

EMILY: Are you not going
to say something to her?

She was all over Lucas the
entire time you were in Mexico.

Or wherever.

This is a boyfriend problem?

Wait.

Stay away from Lucas.

He was talking to me.

Okay, it took me all of last
year to get Lucas to notice me.

Maybe if you weren't so
concerned with losing Lucas,

you'd notice that
you already have.

What do you mean?

LINDSAY: You're so clueless.

I can't believe I
actually feel bad for you.

Bad for me, why?

I didn't say anything.

DAPHNE: And then

the game started.

EMILY: She's not gonna
pass. She never passes to me.

GIRL 1: What is wrong with her?

GIRL 2: Daphne,
what are you doing?

REFEREE: This game
blows. I need a drink.

BOY 1: She wants to
be a basketball player?

BOY 2: We're gonna lose.

DAPHNE: I wasn't
hearing my thoughts.

I was hearing theirs.

You probably think
I'm losing my mind! I...

No. No, I actually
believe every word.

Look, honey, there's
something I need to tell you.

Something extraordinary
has happened,

is happening, to us.

And you may be
experiencing things, too,

that you don't even
understand entirely.

JJ?

This is unbelievable.

My whole family gets dipped in
some super water and all I get...

is wet.

So, you haven't...

No, Dad, I haven't.

I am still plain old JJ.

You know, the dumb
one. Don't say that, kiddo.

DAPHNE: Okay, can we just
stop talking about this? Please.

STEPHANIE: Daphne.

You're telepathic. I think this is
something we should talk about.

What happened to me
only happened once.

So, as far as I'm concerned,

I'm in the same boat as JJ here.

Just as boring as
I was last week.

Daphne, I can help you.

The more we begin to
understand about our abilities...

I don't want new abilities!

High school is
hard enough as it is!

Why are we having
this meeting anyway?

So you two can convince
yourselves that you're different?

'Cause you can catch
bullets and you can run fast?

All right, that's enough.

We go on vacations to reconnect.

Why would we want to
connect in the first place?

To watch Mom stress about work?

Or watch Dad mope around
like he lost a winning lottery ticket?

Look, even JJ can
see it, and JJ's an idiot!

Hey, that's it! Go to
your room, right now!

All the trips and all the talks

couldn't save this family
because this family isn't broken!

You two are!

She's right, isn't she?

Yes.

CHO: And what's this?

We got lucky, a witness saw
this guy fleeing that police pursuit.

Witness? I hadn't heard.

I already ran him
through the database.

Guy's name is Reed Koblenz.

He jumped bail last
month in Michigan.

And then this woman named
Sally Downs posted his bond.

Hey, we got a lead on the jewelry
store perp. Nice work, Powell.

Having trouble saying goodbye?

I thought I'd just tag along.

You know, as back-up.

I like your enthusiasm,

but why don't you leave the crime
fighting to those of us with guns?

(SCOFFS)

(WHOOPING)

I don't know what's going
on with me right now.

Well, that makes two of us.

What's wrong?

I'll be fine.

It's probably just some

post-traumatic stress from
the crash or something.

I'm really glad I came here.

You feel nice.

LUCAS: I gotta get out of here.

I was supposed to
meet Emily an hour ago.

What?

I didn't say anything. No, no.

Emily? My best friend, Emily?

Yeah. What about her?

You're supposed
to meet up with her?

No. What do you mean?

How did she know that?

Lucas, why are you seeing Emily?

Did Emily tell her
we were hooking up?

Oh, my God! You're
sleeping with her!

No, Daph, come on.
She's, like, your best friend.

That's why everybody
thinks I'm so stupid!

You said you were okay to wait!

I am. Of course, I am.

Thanks for telling me
how you really feel.

I appreciate your honesty.

Come on, Daph.

How the hell did
she know all that?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Ms. Downs? I'm Detective
Cho, this is Detective Hixon.

If it's not too much trouble, we'd
like to ask you a few questions.

About? Your former
boyfriend, Reed Koblenz.

Reed? I haven't seen
him since I posted his bail.

If you find him, tell him
he owes me two grand.

Okay.

If he attempts any
contact, please let us know.

Koblenz?

(EXCLAIMS)

Pack everything
up, then disappear.

This one is my insurance policy.

DAPHNE: Remembering
when we used to be normal?

You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

I just wanna be alone.

I know I haven't always
been there for you,

(SIGHS)

but I'm here now.

Did it happen again?

I was with Lucas.

And when I looked in his
eyes, I could read his thoughts.

He's sleeping with Emily.

That bitch.

I know, right?

And he said he loved me.

(SNIFFLING) That
he would wait for me.

Why would he say
it if it wasn't true?

It's not fair! I
can't be a virgin

and a freak.

JJ: What's going on?

Oh. Talking about
your new cool powers.

Keep me updated on
the costume design.

JJ, stop.

We're a family, no
matter what happens to us.

Or what doesn't happen to us.

Nothing's gonna change that.

You understand?

Yeah.

I think I liked us better when
we were just dysfunctional.

Hey!

Let her go.

(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)

If I let her go

she wouldn't make a very
good hostage now, would she?

I'm warning you.

You don't have a partner
here this time to stop me.

Who says I ever did?

You thought you
were the only one?

(GROANS)

(PANTING)

Last time we met,
I didn't kill you.

But then again, I shot
you from four feet away.

Don't you know?

You and me, we're not...

(GUNSHOT)

What are you doing here, Powell?

Trying to be some sort of hero?

I...

Get out of here now. Before
you're answering questions from I.A.

Hey.

I'm home.

Jim.

We need to talk.

You may have felt like
you couldn't keep up.

But while I was racing
to be the perfect spouse,

the perfect parent,

you were it.

You were extraordinary before
you could ever catch a bullet.

Maybe it's taken something crazy
to make us thankful for what we have.

Promise me,

no more bullets, no
more crime fighting.

Because in a way I feel
like I'm just getting you back.

Okay.

I promise.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

TEACHER: All right.

You have 20 minutes to solve the
equation I've written on the board.

Solve for x, and make
sure you show all your work.

Dude. You study for this?

Why bother?

TEACHER: You may begin now.

(SIGHING)

What are you doing, man?
Jeez! Just take a look and see.

George.

What did you do?

You've got a new hobby now.

Yeah, my brother knows a guy.

You need Blu-ray, anything.

So, you turned
your garage into...

That's right.

What every secret
crime fighter needs.

A lair.

With Wi-Fi.

I have a lair?

With Wi-Fi?

Uh-huh.

Huh?

I know it's quite a story but you
asked us how we got here, so.

Did I leave anything out?

No, I think you hit
all the highlights.

So?

What do you think, Dr. Allen?

I think

we've got our
work cut out for us.

Might I suggest we
start with twice a week?

Sure. Sounds great.

We want this to work.

Not just for us

but for our family.

JIM: The problems we face
may no longer be ordinary.

But then again,

neither are we.

(SIGHS)

DR. KING: I see you
found Mr. Koblenz.

Find out who knows about him.

And then take care of it.