Nirvanna the Band the Show (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - The B-Day - full transcript
Matt forgets Jay's birthday and tries to make it up to him. Jay gets lost at Toronto's 4/20 festival.
MATT: (Ugandan accent) Everybody
needs a bosom for a pillow!
Everybody needs a bosom!
\hJAY: Everybody needs
a bosom for a pillow!
There is a message in this song,
and it is a message about
heteronormativeness!
Everybody needs a bosom...
Play-- I have brought
\h\h\hmy piano player
\hto play for you
a religious song.
(Piano playing)
Are you ready?
We are going to bring it to you.
Sing this in your villages!
Spread this word!
This is the new message!
Ready?
♪ Everybody needs a
bosom for a pillow ♪
♪ Everybody needs a bosom ♪
♪ There’s no gays ♪
♪ Everybody needs a
bosom for a pillow ♪
♪ Everybody needs a bosom ♪
♪ Everybody needs a
bosom for a pillow ♪
♪ Everybody needs a bosom ♪
So we are not going to have
\hgayness in Uganda anymore!
It is a day for celebration!
♪ No gays, no gays ♪
\hYou can go home and be
proud to be from Uganda!
We are going to lock
them up and (Bleep)!
(Speaking gibberish)
Amen, brudda!
(Piano playing)
It’s weird.
It’s-- It’s a bit
crazy, yeah, okay.
I got an idea!
You won’t believe it, but--
\h\h\h\hMaybe we can do
something special today.
A different style of plan!
\h\h\h\h- Yep.
- Watch this.So...
Why don’t we start by
writing the date down?
Uh, right, so this is--
What happens on the 4th month
on the 20th day, on 4/20?
\h\h\hUh, I don’t know, what--
Oh, oh, no, I know what it is!
Those two... little... brats...
\hshot all their friends
at school, didn’t they?
Okay, well, what--
Columbine!
Okay, the Rivoli’s
on Queen Street...
I know about the Rivoli.
\h\hWhat the fuck is
underneath it, man?!
What is 4/20?
Industrial strength,
Penguin-style drill.4/20’s happened before.
\h\h\hWhat have we done...
What did we do last 4/20?
\h\h\h\hLook at this, and
this is the viewing area.
Go!
(Laughing)
Drill it right...
\hright into here!
\h\hWhat else could
we do on April 20th?
\hWhat the (Bleep) thing
we can do on April 20th?
Drop this fucking April 20th!
\h- No!
- Why?!
Nah, I think I’m gonna
do my own thing today.
I’ll go out.
\h\hI don’t need the--
I don’t need all the--
\h\hI’ll just have my
own day, that’s fine.
Can I do that?
Dude, are you hearing my plan?
Let’s rehearse something!
You wanna play Nintendo?
I know what you wanna see!
How about I draw, uh, a piano?
There’s the keys...
You forgot my birthday.
(Gasping)
It’s your B-day?!
Why didn’t you say?!
I’m so sorry, I forgot!
Oh my god, forget the plan!
No, we’re having a party!
\h\h- No...
- Yes, man!No, I don’t want a party.
\h- Look at egg on me!
- No, I don’t wanna--
\h\h\h\h\hWhat kind of
fucking friend am I?!No, ’cause then we have to--
then I’m gonna have all that
\h\hattention, and I don’t--
I’m not the type of guy
\hthat needs attention.
\hWe’re going to get
you a gift, come on!
\h\h\h\h\h- No!
- Yes, come on!
Come on, that’s it, we’re going!
Best April 20th ever!
We’re going to the Eaton Centre!
Okay, we made it!
(Sighing)(Laughing)
\h’Kay, but why did we have
to rush out of there though?I was all hungry.
It’s you’re B-day, dude,
\h\hwe gotta move fast!
\hWe should’ve had
a nice meal first
\h\h\h\h\hand get proper
sustenance for the day.
\h\h\hYou’re cranky!
You know what it is?
\hI just haven’t eaten
anything, that’s all.
You need something to eat,
\h\hand until you get it,you’re gonna be in a bad mood.
Sorry, it’s not every day that
people forget your birthday.
It’s my friend’s birthday today.
Yeah.
So...
\hYeah, that’s what
I was just trying to
explain to him, hangry!
He said he didn’t eat anything.
We were rushing out today, so...Bird, I’m gonna--
\honce we get off,
\hI’ll get the snacks, you get
the snacks in your belly, mwah!
Good snacks or (Bleep)ty snacks?
I’m gonna get you some snacks,
we’re gonna mellow out.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI’m gonna get
Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos,
\h\h\hmix ’em all up
into a big fun bag.
Where you gonna get all of that?
As if.
You get all that stuff
\h\hat the same place.
\h\h\hThat’s right, you can
easily get all those things.
\h- Yeah.
- I know.
\h\hIt’s like the most
common food there is.
That’s what the robots will eat.
Okay, we don’t need to...
\hHey, it was nice
meeting you guys!
See ya later, peace.
Bye-bye, thank you.
That’s so sweet.
See ya, later.
Bye.
♪
\hAlright!
(Laughing)
Yes, man!
What is with the crowd?
\h\h\hMust be a lot of
people’s B-day today!
Well, it’s April 20th, AKA
4/20 Day, a time in which
marijuana enthusiasts tune out,
toke up, and get high.
♪ Ever heard of vertigo? ♪♪ Well ain’t no way else to go ♪
♪ Prevail knows the faculties
our poison lay you vertical ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ It’s only murder for
every small animal committed ♪
♪ The only difference is
I won’t admit I did it ♪
\h\h\hWhoa my gosh,
it’s busy, huh? Wow!
\hUh, I’m looking for a place
to get my friend some snacks!
\hWe’re gonna lose each other,
we gotta figure out what to do.
\h\hYeah, okay, I’m gonna put
this toonie on the ground, okay?
Stay by the toonie.We’ll meet back at
the toonie, okay?
- This is where we meet?
- We’ll meet back here.
I’m gonna go get
you some snacks!
Okay, wait here, Bird!
\h- I’ll be right back.
- Get good snacks, Matt!
(Crowd chattering)
I’m staying...
(Coin jangling)
Um...
Did you see a toonie here?
Anyone see a toonie
fall on the ground?
- What are you looking for?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- A toonie.
My toonie.
\hNo, it’s just-- it
was a meeting spot.
Was it here?
Matt?
(Dramatic music)
Matt?
♪
Matt!
Ketchup, everybody
\h\hlikes ketchup.
Oh, a Slim Jim!
You know, it’s my
\hfriend’s B-day,
so I’m getting him a snack.
He’s hangry!
Hey, thanks a lot!
See ya later, bye!
Come on, let’s go.
You guys didn’t see
\ha toonie anywhere
on the ground here, did you?
It was a meeting spot.
Where is it?
Brownies?
I could use one.
Thank you so much,
\h\hthis is great.
Huh, nice guy.
Just gave me a brownie!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h(Laughing)Save this for later.
\h\hMy friend’s getting me
snacks, it’s my birthday.
Yeah.
You guys didn’t see
\ha toonie anywhere?
Bird, I got snacks, buddy!
Where’s the toonie?
Uh, yeah, you know what?
\h\h\h\h\hThey’re for my--
It’s my friend’s birthday
and he’s pretty hungry.
Sorry.
Bird! Bird!
\h\hThey’re for my friend’s--
They’re for my friend’s B-day.
Hey, happy birthday, dude!
No, it’s my friend Jay.
Jay, happy birthday, dude!
That’s not Jay, that’s not Jay.
Huh?
\h\h\hWell, it’s his
birthday video, no?
Can I sneak through here, guys?
No, don’t, they’re
for my friend Jay!
\h\hI’m sorry-- Yeah,
I’m sorry, you can’t--
Hey, no, stop it!
Bird!
Hey!
Aah, no, they’re for Jay!
They’re for Jay!
Stop it!
Jay!
Jay!
(Slowed) Jay!
I’m getting mobbed, Jay!
♪
♪
(Panting)
Be careful out there!
Be careful!
Hi.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Oh my god!
(Panting)
What the hell?
Trying to get my friend snacks.
\h’Cause I forgot his
birthday this morning.
\hAnd then he got very hungry,
and then I got him these snacks,
\h\hand when I came back, the
toonie was gone, he was gone.
\h\h\h\hAnd that’s when people
started coming for the chips.
SECURITY: Okay, yeah.
Thank you, yeah.
I’m starting to think
\h\hmaybe this is a...
Where am I right now?
Where is this?
Oh, this is the Eaton Centre!
\h\hOh, it’s not too late!
I can get him a gift here!
Oh my gosh, thank you!
SECURITY: Okay...
\h\h\hOkay, great!
It’s not too late!
I can still get Jay a gift!
(Honking)
Uh-oh.
What... Oh, what’s that?
Ugh, it’s just a dime.
It’s just a dime!
(Laughing)
Matt!
\h\hYou didn’t happen to see a
toonie get kicked along here,
hear the jangle of it?
And you didn’t take it, did ya?
Was trying to meet
up with my friend.
It’s my birthday today.
(Chuckling)
Tough day for the Bird today.
Tough day for the Bird.
(Bike dinging)
It’s just a piece of tinfoil.
(Laughing)
Who needs ’em?
Champs.
Some new runners for Jay?Some new shoes?
\hOkay, how ’bout these
Air Force Ones for Bird?
So where do we pay,
\h\hup at the front?
Shorts?
(Store music playing)
Wow!
Jay will love this!
Look at this!
And does it-- does it
\h\h\hmatch the shoes?
Ah!
Huh?
Fresh!
(Traffic noise)
\hOh, I want that
toonie right now.
I would put that to good use.
One, two, three, four, five,
\hsix, seven, eight, nine...
Ten nuggets, god.
Oh, wait a second.
Oh!
Brownie!
♪
No, I’m just getting my
friend a B-day present.
How about this?
Does it suit the shorts?
Okay, well, then let’s--
we just gotta complete
the look with a shirt.
Colour!
♪
♪
♪
(Motor rumbling)
(Children yelling)
♪
(Exhaling)
♪
Oh boy.
(Sighing)
It’s my birthday.
Thanks.
(Sighing)
(Laughing)
(Sighing)
It’s my birthday.
Thanks.
(Sighing)
\hWell, I’m gonna go and
try to find that toonie.
\h\h\h\h\hI know it’s
around here somewhere.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hToonie,
toonie, toonie...
(Slowed) Okay, listen up!Here’s the meeting spot, ready?
My dad’s old trick: we’re
gonna meet by the toonie.
\hJay, are you-- are
you okay with this?
Yes, I understand, thank you!
\h\h\hWatch this, I’ll put
this toonie on the ground.
Stay by the toonie, okay?
You see a toonie anywhere?
\h\hI’m not crazy, I
just lost my toonie.
Oh, it’s hot.
\h\h(Slowed) Why don’t
I just come with you?
\h\h\hBecause I-- I wanna get
snacks to surprise you, okay?
Okay.
\hYou guys haven’t seen a
toonie anywhere, have you?
Just looking for a toonie.
\h\h\h\hExcuse me, I’m
looking for a toonie.
\hMy friend put it down,
and we were supposed to
meet at my-- at the toonie.
Banana? Sure.
Thank you!
Mmm!
It’s a rotten banana.
It’s a rotten banana.
It’s rotten.
(Metal screeching)
(Wind blowing)
Heh, my friend’s birthday!
He’s gonna-- He’s
gonna go apeshit!
Oh, look at this!
Here it is, look at that!
That’s Jay! That’s Jay!
This is Jay!
(Sad music)
♪
♪
These gifts aren’t
for Jay, are they?
(Uplifting music)
I wrecked his B-day.
First by forgetting
\hit, and now this.
♪
\h\h\hYou know what, what I
should’ve just done is said,"You know what, Jay?
I know what you want for your
B-day: a show at the Rivoli!
\hAnd that’s what
I’m gonna get ya!"
Come on!
(Panting)
(Coin jangling)
Oh...
Yes!
(Laughing)
\h\h\h\hOh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
(Laughing)
Yes!
(Sad music)
♪
I didn’t really need to
find this toonie, did I?
♪
Here.
(Uplifting music)
You can have it.
I don’t need it.
I never did.
Thank you.
♪
Sorry, man!
Oh, sorry!
Hi, how you doing?
Ah, this is genius!
(Panting)
Oh my god, I can’t believe I
didn’t think of this before!
(Panting)Hi, excuse me?
It’s my friend’s birthday, and
I’m trying to book a show for...
for us to play here tonight.
What?
JAY: We need to make a
good first impression.MATT: We’re a band, we’re
trying to get a show here.
- And what band’s that?
\h\h- Nirvanna the Band?
MATT: We just want
Nirvanna the Band
to play a show at the Rivoli!
\h\h\hJAY: How is the Rivoli
ever gonna take us seriously
if you keep pulling
\h(Bleep) like this?\hMATT: Bird, come on,
bud, I did it for us!
\hJAY: I’m very happy to go to
the ends of the Earth with you.
\h\h\hI hope the future
brings us great fortune.
(High-pitched tone)
(High-pitched tone)
(Door shutting)
(Panting)
Matt?
(Panting)
Matt!
\h\h\hOkay, I gotta
tell you something.
No, no, no, I gotta
tell you something.
You’re not gonna believe this.
So...
No, no, no, no, you don’t...
\hNo, don’t take the wind
out of my sails right now.I’m not trying to, Jay...
\h- I’ve had quite the day!
- Bird, this is not a joke.
It’s still my birthday,
so I deserve the floor
\hright now, alright?
- So let me go first?
\h- You have no idea.
Listen, I had problems
\h\h\hwith the toonie.
- Alright, Jay...
\h\h\h\h\h- Okay?
I kept falling down
\hand falling down,
and I realized...
I just wanna give it away.
What fucking toonie?
It was the toonie.
I’m just saying, why am I
\h\hworried about a toonie
\h\h\hwhen we’re trying to
get a show at the Rivoli?
\h\hThat’s what I’m saying.
Something has changed, okay?
Something has changed.
You’re not wearing your hat.
You’re not the same
\hwithout your hat.
Can you put your hat on
\h\h\h\hand then tell me
what you’re gonna tell me?
It’s weird looking at
you without your hat.
\h\h\h\h\h\hThis is the
craziest day of my life.
Every band has a look.
Yeah, I will put on the hat.
(Ominous music)
(Gasping)
♪
(Shuddering)
♪
\h\h\h\h\h(Burping)
Just put on the hat.
♪
♪
♪
\h\hMatt, what did
you wanna tell me?
What’s... changed?
♪
Nothing.
So... nothing has changed?
Nothing’s changed.
Great, okay!
So we can start the day over.
\h\h\h\hWe got the new
4/20 going right now!
Okay, so I actually got a lot
of inspiration today because
\hI kinda went on a
walk all over the...
Excuse me.
Yeah, I went all over the city,
and then I found myself
\hin Kensington Market.
I must’ve gone for a little
\h\h\hbit of a ride, and...
Can you hit the board, please?
And I met a whole lot of
people, including one...
I guess it was sort of
like a half-Asian guy,
pigmentation on his skin,
and I started telling him
I don’t think I’m gonna
\h\h\hcount from now on.
♪
’Cause the more you count, the
more it is that calculation.
Infinity forevermore.
(Sighing)
I guess I should be honest.
That really wasn’t my
idea, it was his idea.
Um... I had to get out of there.
He was trying to (Bleep) me.
Well, it’s over.
Uh, if you’re just having
to catch this on your DVR
\h\h\hand you haven’t
seen the episode yet,
\hnow is a really good
time to turn this off.
I don’t wanna spoil any--
♪
needs a bosom for a pillow!
Everybody needs a bosom!
\hJAY: Everybody needs
a bosom for a pillow!
There is a message in this song,
and it is a message about
heteronormativeness!
Everybody needs a bosom...
Play-- I have brought
\h\h\hmy piano player
\hto play for you
a religious song.
(Piano playing)
Are you ready?
We are going to bring it to you.
Sing this in your villages!
Spread this word!
This is the new message!
Ready?
♪ Everybody needs a
bosom for a pillow ♪
♪ Everybody needs a bosom ♪
♪ There’s no gays ♪
♪ Everybody needs a
bosom for a pillow ♪
♪ Everybody needs a bosom ♪
♪ Everybody needs a
bosom for a pillow ♪
♪ Everybody needs a bosom ♪
So we are not going to have
\hgayness in Uganda anymore!
It is a day for celebration!
♪ No gays, no gays ♪
\hYou can go home and be
proud to be from Uganda!
We are going to lock
them up and (Bleep)!
(Speaking gibberish)
Amen, brudda!
(Piano playing)
It’s weird.
It’s-- It’s a bit
crazy, yeah, okay.
I got an idea!
You won’t believe it, but--
\h\h\h\hMaybe we can do
something special today.
A different style of plan!
\h\h\h\h- Yep.
- Watch this.So...
Why don’t we start by
writing the date down?
Uh, right, so this is--
What happens on the 4th month
on the 20th day, on 4/20?
\h\h\hUh, I don’t know, what--
Oh, oh, no, I know what it is!
Those two... little... brats...
\hshot all their friends
at school, didn’t they?
Okay, well, what--
Columbine!
Okay, the Rivoli’s
on Queen Street...
I know about the Rivoli.
\h\hWhat the fuck is
underneath it, man?!
What is 4/20?
Industrial strength,
Penguin-style drill.4/20’s happened before.
\h\h\hWhat have we done...
What did we do last 4/20?
\h\h\h\hLook at this, and
this is the viewing area.
Go!
(Laughing)
Drill it right...
\hright into here!
\h\hWhat else could
we do on April 20th?
\hWhat the (Bleep) thing
we can do on April 20th?
Drop this fucking April 20th!
\h- No!
- Why?!
Nah, I think I’m gonna
do my own thing today.
I’ll go out.
\h\hI don’t need the--
I don’t need all the--
\h\hI’ll just have my
own day, that’s fine.
Can I do that?
Dude, are you hearing my plan?
Let’s rehearse something!
You wanna play Nintendo?
I know what you wanna see!
How about I draw, uh, a piano?
There’s the keys...
You forgot my birthday.
(Gasping)
It’s your B-day?!
Why didn’t you say?!
I’m so sorry, I forgot!
Oh my god, forget the plan!
No, we’re having a party!
\h\h- No...
- Yes, man!No, I don’t want a party.
\h- Look at egg on me!
- No, I don’t wanna--
\h\h\h\h\hWhat kind of
fucking friend am I?!No, ’cause then we have to--
then I’m gonna have all that
\h\hattention, and I don’t--
I’m not the type of guy
\hthat needs attention.
\hWe’re going to get
you a gift, come on!
\h\h\h\h\h- No!
- Yes, come on!
Come on, that’s it, we’re going!
Best April 20th ever!
We’re going to the Eaton Centre!
Okay, we made it!
(Sighing)(Laughing)
\h’Kay, but why did we have
to rush out of there though?I was all hungry.
It’s you’re B-day, dude,
\h\hwe gotta move fast!
\hWe should’ve had
a nice meal first
\h\h\h\h\hand get proper
sustenance for the day.
\h\h\hYou’re cranky!
You know what it is?
\hI just haven’t eaten
anything, that’s all.
You need something to eat,
\h\hand until you get it,you’re gonna be in a bad mood.
Sorry, it’s not every day that
people forget your birthday.
It’s my friend’s birthday today.
Yeah.
So...
\hYeah, that’s what
I was just trying to
explain to him, hangry!
He said he didn’t eat anything.
We were rushing out today, so...Bird, I’m gonna--
\honce we get off,
\hI’ll get the snacks, you get
the snacks in your belly, mwah!
Good snacks or (Bleep)ty snacks?
I’m gonna get you some snacks,
we’re gonna mellow out.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI’m gonna get
Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos,
\h\h\hmix ’em all up
into a big fun bag.
Where you gonna get all of that?
As if.
You get all that stuff
\h\hat the same place.
\h\h\hThat’s right, you can
easily get all those things.
\h- Yeah.
- I know.
\h\hIt’s like the most
common food there is.
That’s what the robots will eat.
Okay, we don’t need to...
\hHey, it was nice
meeting you guys!
See ya later, peace.
Bye-bye, thank you.
That’s so sweet.
See ya, later.
Bye.
♪
\hAlright!
(Laughing)
Yes, man!
What is with the crowd?
\h\h\hMust be a lot of
people’s B-day today!
Well, it’s April 20th, AKA
4/20 Day, a time in which
marijuana enthusiasts tune out,
toke up, and get high.
♪ Ever heard of vertigo? ♪♪ Well ain’t no way else to go ♪
♪ Prevail knows the faculties
our poison lay you vertical ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ It’s only murder for
every small animal committed ♪
♪ The only difference is
I won’t admit I did it ♪
\h\h\hWhoa my gosh,
it’s busy, huh? Wow!
\hUh, I’m looking for a place
to get my friend some snacks!
\hWe’re gonna lose each other,
we gotta figure out what to do.
\h\hYeah, okay, I’m gonna put
this toonie on the ground, okay?
Stay by the toonie.We’ll meet back at
the toonie, okay?
- This is where we meet?
- We’ll meet back here.
I’m gonna go get
you some snacks!
Okay, wait here, Bird!
\h- I’ll be right back.
- Get good snacks, Matt!
(Crowd chattering)
I’m staying...
(Coin jangling)
Um...
Did you see a toonie here?
Anyone see a toonie
fall on the ground?
- What are you looking for?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- A toonie.
My toonie.
\hNo, it’s just-- it
was a meeting spot.
Was it here?
Matt?
(Dramatic music)
Matt?
♪
Matt!
Ketchup, everybody
\h\hlikes ketchup.
Oh, a Slim Jim!
You know, it’s my
\hfriend’s B-day,
so I’m getting him a snack.
He’s hangry!
Hey, thanks a lot!
See ya later, bye!
Come on, let’s go.
You guys didn’t see
\ha toonie anywhere
on the ground here, did you?
It was a meeting spot.
Where is it?
Brownies?
I could use one.
Thank you so much,
\h\hthis is great.
Huh, nice guy.
Just gave me a brownie!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h(Laughing)Save this for later.
\h\hMy friend’s getting me
snacks, it’s my birthday.
Yeah.
You guys didn’t see
\ha toonie anywhere?
Bird, I got snacks, buddy!
Where’s the toonie?
Uh, yeah, you know what?
\h\h\h\h\hThey’re for my--
It’s my friend’s birthday
and he’s pretty hungry.
Sorry.
Bird! Bird!
\h\hThey’re for my friend’s--
They’re for my friend’s B-day.
Hey, happy birthday, dude!
No, it’s my friend Jay.
Jay, happy birthday, dude!
That’s not Jay, that’s not Jay.
Huh?
\h\h\hWell, it’s his
birthday video, no?
Can I sneak through here, guys?
No, don’t, they’re
for my friend Jay!
\h\hI’m sorry-- Yeah,
I’m sorry, you can’t--
Hey, no, stop it!
Bird!
Hey!
Aah, no, they’re for Jay!
They’re for Jay!
Stop it!
Jay!
Jay!
(Slowed) Jay!
I’m getting mobbed, Jay!
♪
♪
(Panting)
Be careful out there!
Be careful!
Hi.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Oh my god!
(Panting)
What the hell?
Trying to get my friend snacks.
\h’Cause I forgot his
birthday this morning.
\hAnd then he got very hungry,
and then I got him these snacks,
\h\hand when I came back, the
toonie was gone, he was gone.
\h\h\h\hAnd that’s when people
started coming for the chips.
SECURITY: Okay, yeah.
Thank you, yeah.
I’m starting to think
\h\hmaybe this is a...
Where am I right now?
Where is this?
Oh, this is the Eaton Centre!
\h\hOh, it’s not too late!
I can get him a gift here!
Oh my gosh, thank you!
SECURITY: Okay...
\h\h\hOkay, great!
It’s not too late!
I can still get Jay a gift!
(Honking)
Uh-oh.
What... Oh, what’s that?
Ugh, it’s just a dime.
It’s just a dime!
(Laughing)
Matt!
\h\hYou didn’t happen to see a
toonie get kicked along here,
hear the jangle of it?
And you didn’t take it, did ya?
Was trying to meet
up with my friend.
It’s my birthday today.
(Chuckling)
Tough day for the Bird today.
Tough day for the Bird.
(Bike dinging)
It’s just a piece of tinfoil.
(Laughing)
Who needs ’em?
Champs.
Some new runners for Jay?Some new shoes?
\hOkay, how ’bout these
Air Force Ones for Bird?
So where do we pay,
\h\hup at the front?
Shorts?
(Store music playing)
Wow!
Jay will love this!
Look at this!
And does it-- does it
\h\h\hmatch the shoes?
Ah!
Huh?
Fresh!
(Traffic noise)
\hOh, I want that
toonie right now.
I would put that to good use.
One, two, three, four, five,
\hsix, seven, eight, nine...
Ten nuggets, god.
Oh, wait a second.
Oh!
Brownie!
♪
No, I’m just getting my
friend a B-day present.
How about this?
Does it suit the shorts?
Okay, well, then let’s--
we just gotta complete
the look with a shirt.
Colour!
♪
♪
♪
(Motor rumbling)
(Children yelling)
♪
(Exhaling)
♪
Oh boy.
(Sighing)
It’s my birthday.
Thanks.
(Sighing)
(Laughing)
(Sighing)
It’s my birthday.
Thanks.
(Sighing)
\hWell, I’m gonna go and
try to find that toonie.
\h\h\h\h\hI know it’s
around here somewhere.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hToonie,
toonie, toonie...
(Slowed) Okay, listen up!Here’s the meeting spot, ready?
My dad’s old trick: we’re
gonna meet by the toonie.
\hJay, are you-- are
you okay with this?
Yes, I understand, thank you!
\h\h\hWatch this, I’ll put
this toonie on the ground.
Stay by the toonie, okay?
You see a toonie anywhere?
\h\hI’m not crazy, I
just lost my toonie.
Oh, it’s hot.
\h\h(Slowed) Why don’t
I just come with you?
\h\h\hBecause I-- I wanna get
snacks to surprise you, okay?
Okay.
\hYou guys haven’t seen a
toonie anywhere, have you?
Just looking for a toonie.
\h\h\h\hExcuse me, I’m
looking for a toonie.
\hMy friend put it down,
and we were supposed to
meet at my-- at the toonie.
Banana? Sure.
Thank you!
Mmm!
It’s a rotten banana.
It’s a rotten banana.
It’s rotten.
(Metal screeching)
(Wind blowing)
Heh, my friend’s birthday!
He’s gonna-- He’s
gonna go apeshit!
Oh, look at this!
Here it is, look at that!
That’s Jay! That’s Jay!
This is Jay!
(Sad music)
♪
♪
These gifts aren’t
for Jay, are they?
(Uplifting music)
I wrecked his B-day.
First by forgetting
\hit, and now this.
♪
\h\h\hYou know what, what I
should’ve just done is said,"You know what, Jay?
I know what you want for your
B-day: a show at the Rivoli!
\hAnd that’s what
I’m gonna get ya!"
Come on!
(Panting)
(Coin jangling)
Oh...
Yes!
(Laughing)
\h\h\h\hOh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
(Laughing)
Yes!
(Sad music)
♪
I didn’t really need to
find this toonie, did I?
♪
Here.
(Uplifting music)
You can have it.
I don’t need it.
I never did.
Thank you.
♪
Sorry, man!
Oh, sorry!
Hi, how you doing?
Ah, this is genius!
(Panting)
Oh my god, I can’t believe I
didn’t think of this before!
(Panting)Hi, excuse me?
It’s my friend’s birthday, and
I’m trying to book a show for...
for us to play here tonight.
What?
JAY: We need to make a
good first impression.MATT: We’re a band, we’re
trying to get a show here.
- And what band’s that?
\h\h- Nirvanna the Band?
MATT: We just want
Nirvanna the Band
to play a show at the Rivoli!
\h\h\hJAY: How is the Rivoli
ever gonna take us seriously
if you keep pulling
\h(Bleep) like this?\hMATT: Bird, come on,
bud, I did it for us!
\hJAY: I’m very happy to go to
the ends of the Earth with you.
\h\h\hI hope the future
brings us great fortune.
(High-pitched tone)
(High-pitched tone)
(Door shutting)
(Panting)
Matt?
(Panting)
Matt!
\h\h\hOkay, I gotta
tell you something.
No, no, no, I gotta
tell you something.
You’re not gonna believe this.
So...
No, no, no, no, you don’t...
\hNo, don’t take the wind
out of my sails right now.I’m not trying to, Jay...
\h- I’ve had quite the day!
- Bird, this is not a joke.
It’s still my birthday,
so I deserve the floor
\hright now, alright?
- So let me go first?
\h- You have no idea.
Listen, I had problems
\h\h\hwith the toonie.
- Alright, Jay...
\h\h\h\h\h- Okay?
I kept falling down
\hand falling down,
and I realized...
I just wanna give it away.
What fucking toonie?
It was the toonie.
I’m just saying, why am I
\h\hworried about a toonie
\h\h\hwhen we’re trying to
get a show at the Rivoli?
\h\hThat’s what I’m saying.
Something has changed, okay?
Something has changed.
You’re not wearing your hat.
You’re not the same
\hwithout your hat.
Can you put your hat on
\h\h\h\hand then tell me
what you’re gonna tell me?
It’s weird looking at
you without your hat.
\h\h\h\h\h\hThis is the
craziest day of my life.
Every band has a look.
Yeah, I will put on the hat.
(Ominous music)
(Gasping)
♪
(Shuddering)
♪
\h\h\h\h\h(Burping)
Just put on the hat.
♪
♪
♪
\h\hMatt, what did
you wanna tell me?
What’s... changed?
♪
Nothing.
So... nothing has changed?
Nothing’s changed.
Great, okay!
So we can start the day over.
\h\h\h\hWe got the new
4/20 going right now!
Okay, so I actually got a lot
of inspiration today because
\hI kinda went on a
walk all over the...
Excuse me.
Yeah, I went all over the city,
and then I found myself
\hin Kensington Market.
I must’ve gone for a little
\h\h\hbit of a ride, and...
Can you hit the board, please?
And I met a whole lot of
people, including one...
I guess it was sort of
like a half-Asian guy,
pigmentation on his skin,
and I started telling him
I don’t think I’m gonna
\h\h\hcount from now on.
♪
’Cause the more you count, the
more it is that calculation.
Infinity forevermore.
(Sighing)
I guess I should be honest.
That really wasn’t my
idea, it was his idea.
Um... I had to get out of there.
He was trying to (Bleep) me.
Well, it’s over.
Uh, if you’re just having
to catch this on your DVR
\h\h\hand you haven’t
seen the episode yet,
\hnow is a really good
time to turn this off.
I don’t wanna spoil any--
♪