Nip/Tuck (2003–2010): Season 6, Episode 13 - Joel Seabrook - full transcript

- Previously on Nip/Tuck.
- Why are you with me, Christian?

You think I'm stupid.
You hate yourself like I do.

I always go back to you
because you hate me the best.

Will you marry me?

Christian loves you,
and he is faithful to you.

I don't know who he is.
I don't know who I am.

We're bad. Like,
this is really bad.

- How come I don't feel guilty?

Curtis, I gotta tell you, I was shocked
when I heard you won the Poland Award.

We're lucky though, you know,
Sean? Most poor bastards...

they never get to find out
what their true purpose in life is.



Usually we ask our new clients
what they don't like about themselves...

but in this case I think
we can figure it out.

What happened, a car accident?
- Physics.

Hundred-seventy pound
man falls 245 feet...

quickly reaching a maximum
velocity of 86 miles an hour...

before he hits the
water four seconds later.

Which doesn't sound like a long
time, but it's a freaking eternity.

- And was this a suicide attempt?
- Yeah.

At the most clichéd spot on the
planet, the Golden Gate Bridge.

And you survived
the fall. You...

heh, must be one in a million.

Close. About 1200 people
have jumped from the bridge.

A conservative estimate.

The current's so strong, they assume
more have jumped without being seen...



and been swept out to
sea or taken by sharks.

Only about 40 of us
have lived to tell the tale.

Why'd you do it?

What my partner means
is we're gonna need...

a complete psychological picture
before we can agree to operate on you.

I don't mind talking about it.

I'm as sane as the next
guy. My psychiatrist agrees.

- You ever try and kill yourself?
- No.

- What about you, Dr. Troy?
- You know, I've had rough patches...

but I guess I've always been able
to find pleasure in my life somehow.

Well, that's lucky.

Yeah, I guess I'm just kind of a
naturally depressive personality.

Heh. Which, I guess, is obvious.

Just... Life's just been,
you know, hard for a while.

My son died of leukemia.

He was 14 years old.

You know, marriages don't
survive that kind of thing...

and I just felt this kind of
darkness building up inside me.

The edges of it disappeared...

and it felt like it kind
of swallowed me up.

Wasn't even painful anymore.
Everything just was so hard.

Except jumping. Heh.
Jumping was easy.

I remember I didn't want anybody
to see me go over the rail...

like I didn't wanna get
in trouble somehow.

And I went over the
rail, and there's a lip,

and I stood there and
then I just stepped.

I mean, the way, you know, you
step out of bed in the morning.

I stepped.

And I thought to myself, "No,
not this. Go back. Stop, go back!"

By second two, I
knew I wanted to live.

I've never been so sure
of anything in my life.

- What did you do?
- Um...

Well, most of the people who
have survived landed feet first.

So I somehow managed
to flip myself over...

and hit the water
like a blade of grass.

I mean, it still felt like a cinder
block to the balls, though.

Broke two vertebrae in my pelvis and,
you know, obviously the reason I'm here.

Broke all 14 bones in your face,
but your jaw is remarkably intact.

Mr. Seabrook, ahem...

we may not be able to make you
look the way you looked before.

I don't care about that. I
just wanna look normal.

Jumping gave me a second chance
to live my life, to follow my dreams.

I wanna go back to school,
maybe become a therapist...

start dating again.

You know, maybe have...

Maybe have another kid.

You must be in a lot of pain.

You know how they say when you
die, your life flashes before your eyes?

It's not true.

You don't see all the
things you've done.

You see all the things you're
never gonna get a chance to do.

All the opportunities
you're gonna lose.

I didn't jump to my
death. I jumped to my life.

I just need you
to help me live it.

Baby, that feels so good.

Okay, come inside me.

Aren't you...?

No. I mean, no, I'm good.
I don't need to. You do it.

Come on.

Oh, my God, Sean.

Oh, my God, that was insane.

That was weird.

Why?

I'm not used to you not coming.

Well, I don't always
need to come.

I do.

Honey, we're married. We have,
like, a lifetime of orgasms ahead of us.

We're good.

It's good.

It's all good.

Why stay with him?

- Are you suggesting that you and I...?
- No.

I wanna know.

Why stay with him if it
makes you so unhappy?

I don't know. The same
reason you do, I guess.

Gotta feel sorry for the
guy, huh? Unlucky bastard.

He survived a fall from the Golden
Gate Bridge. How's that unlucky?

He went from being depressed and suicidal
to completely delusional in 700 feet.

He really thinks he's
gonna change his life.

You don't believe him?

How many times have you sworn off
drinking and wake up with a hangover?

Having a hangover and attempting
suicide are not the same thing.

You would know, I guess.

What's that supposed to mean?

People don't change because
they think they're gonna die...

- and then get a second chance.
- You had cancer.

You thought you were gonna die.

That didn't give you courage
to look at life differently?

For about a week,
yeah, maybe, all right?

I think there's no way you can't
change after something like that.

So tell me, how is your life so different
since you swam out to the buoy?

At a certain age, you accept who you are
and stop thinking there's something better.

You're right.

You haven't changed at
all. You married Kimber...

and still screw around
every chance you get.

Which reminds me, I was having
lunch at Shutters the other day.

Picked up these two hot sisters
who both wanna go up two cup sizes.

They're coming in on Thursday.
Unbelievably hot, trust me.

I told them that'd be
cool. Is that cool with you?

Why don't you finish up here? I
forgot I have a meeting I need to get to.

We have a consult after this.

Tell me what you don't
like about yourself, Mr. Wise.

Don't get the wrong idea. I
wasn't trying to kill myself.

Mr. Wise, the gash around your
neck was clearly made by a belt.

Probably spiked, from
the sharp indentations...

left at perfectly
spaced intervals.

The skin's been ripped and twisted,
not a surprising consequence...

- when you try to hang yourself.
- Kudos, Sherlock.

Spiked belt it was.

Although you haven't
solved the case just yet.

I wasn't trying to
commit suicide.

I was masturbating.

Autoerotic asphyxiation.

Gone awry. My bad.

I just need you to fix this...

so that I can stop wearing
scarves and turtle necks...

when it's 80 degrees outside.

I liked you better when I
thought you tried to kill yourself.

You risked dying for an orgasm?

It wasn't just an orgasm. It
was the orgasm, of a lifetime.

You have no idea.

Cutting off the blood supply to
the brain provides an amazing high.

- I do have an idea, actually.
- Better than any drug you've ever had...

I've ever had. Heh-heh.

Includes quite an
extensive list, I can tell you.

Don't knock it if you
haven't tried it, doc.

Thanks...

but I can usually find
someone to help me out.

- Call it the perks of being married.
- Oh, all right.

Been there, divorced that. All I'm
saying is you cut off the flow of blood...

and oxygen to the brain, your
dick gets unbelievably hard.

It's why these guys who are
hung get these huge boners...

and ejaculate when they
die. It's called induced...

Induced cerebral anoxia, I know.

That's right.

You get this euphoria.

It's like having
one foot in heaven.

So I take it you're gonna
continue with this practice...

even after I repair the
damage to your neck?

Don't worry, doc. I'll stick
to silk ties from now on.

Same high without the
ring around the collar.

Look, I'm asking you to fix
this, not how I choose to come.

Judge not.

Right?

- Excuse me.
- May I help you?

Yeah. I'm looking
for Dr. Ryerson.

- Is he expecting you?
- We spoke earlier on the phone.

- I'm Sean McNamara.
- Oh, Dr. McNamara.

Yes. I'm Nsolo. Curtis told
me you were coming by.

You and your partner were the only
recipients of the Poland Award this year.

Congratulations.
Follow me, please.

Hey, Sean, thanks for coming.
Hey, how was your drive?

- Just fine. Fine.
- Good.

Let me know if there's anything you
need while in San Diego, anything at all.

Thanks.

Nsolo stepped on a
landmine in Angola.

He was a beggar at the
airport when we met him...

and now he practically runs
the center when I'm on the road...

- which is about 10 months of the year.
- I'm glad you were in town.

I've been wanting to see your
operations since we talked.

Here it is, in all its glamour.

- Not exactly Beverly Hills, but...
- That's a good thing.

So...

what's going on with Christian?

Oh. He's still sucking the
champagne and caviar out of life.

After the ceremony, you
took off so quickly I thought...

Sorry, I had to jump on the next flight.
There was an emergency at the office.

I cannot tell you how many trips I've
had to cut short and hop on a plane.

I remember once, a crop duster came
and picked us up on the Serengeti...

on the way to a malaria
outbreak in Darfur.

An angry herd of wildebeests
chases us down the runway.

I kid you not. Barely got
out of there with our necks.

Wow. Heh.

The closest I've come to anything like that
would be bumper to bumper on the 405...

with Christian, who's in a bad mood
because he's late for his massage.

That's why I called you.

I'm here because I wanna
help. So, what can I do?

Well, we are flying a 12-year-old
girl in from Jakarta on Thursday.

Her husband cut her face with a machete
when she fought off his rape attempt.

What we need is a
surgeon and an OR.

Consider it done.

You sure about this?

I mean, maybe think
about it? Talk to Christian?

No, I don't need to talk to Christian.
This is something I wanna do.

Something I probably should
have done a long time ago.

All right. Well, I'll
set it for Thursday.

Great.

This is really gonna
make a difference, Sean.

What are you doing?

- I wanna make my baby happy.
- But I'm half as...

If my baby's not happy
then I'm not happy.

- I'm half asleep.
- Look.

Just tell me what
you want. Anything.

I want you.

- Don't worry about me, I'm fine.
- You don't seem fine to me.

Come on.

- Yeah, Kim, baby.
- Ah!

- What are you doing?
- Trust me, trust me, trust me, baby.

You gotta trust me.

You're gonna have the
come of your life, I promise.

Okay?

Trust me.

- Look at me. Look at me. Trust me.
- Oh.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Aah!

Aah!

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

That's my baby.

Next time, you're
doing me, baby.

Oh...

Sorry, partner, I was performing
a "slipindicktomy." Heh.

We in high school?

You have to brag about
having sex with your wife?

We are not talking
about sex, partner.

I gave Kimmie the orgasm
of her lifetime, okay?

I mean, Kimmie's toes curled up
like the wicked witch of the east.

That's all because
of Mr. Wise in there.

Seriously. We were
having a marital problem.

The sex was all, whatever.

Anyway, I took his advice
and tried erotic asphyxiation.

You choked your wife?

Come on. It's not like I'm O.J. I
know how to deal with the pressure.

- I'm a doctor.
- Oh, you're right. It's very romantic.

- Trust me. Kimber loved it.
- Not as much as you did though.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Everything is about power for you.

You're not satisfied unless
you're dominating your partner.

You live with your hand on her
throat, might as well screw her that way.

- Jeez, what's up your ass today?
- Kimber deserves better than this.

If you're having problems,
try talking about it.

Okay, Mr. Marriage-Counselor-Guy.
You're giving me advice, right?

Last time I checked,
you've been divorced...

How many times?
Same as me, right?

And since when do you
care about Kimber so much?

Guys, are you clean enough? The
guy's been under for six minutes.

Sean, what...? Sean?

- No, no, no. No talking. No talking.
- Well...

Mmp. Oh. Mmp.

- Isn't that what you like now?
- No.

Sean. Sean.

Ah. Sean, stop it!

Jesus.

Kimber.

Hey, look, I know
about the choking.

He told me. I just wanna
know if you're okay.

It's fine. It's not
as bad as it looks.

Maybe you should get somebody
to look at that, you know?

Sean, stop it.

I really... I really don't want
you to touch me right now, okay?

I came here because
we need to stop doing this.

Okay.

Okay?

Just okay?

What do you want me to
say, "Stay, we can work it out"?

I would have thought maybe you'd have
a little bit more feeling than that for me.

It's never what this was about.

You know that.

Okay. Then I guess that's it.

- You're not going back to him, are you?
- He's my husband, Sean.

You deserve better.

I know. The only reason why
I haven't been able to get it...

is because I'm fooling
around with his best friend.

And I am just as much to blame
for my own unhappiness as anybody.

And if I'm gonna
get what I deserve...

I need to take a little bit of
responsibility, refocus on my marriage.

Even if that means being
completely honest with him.

How long you been going behind
my back, you cheating bastard?

I come in this morning expecting
to be waist deep in double-D's.

Instead, I find my two bimbos
out in the lobby trying to reschedule.

Oh, cool your jets.
We'll fit your bimbos in...

and I promise this
won't cost you a penny.

- Good to see you, Christian.
- I don't give a shit.

If you're operating on
somebody who needs it, fine.

- There's a first. CHRISTIAN:
And what about him?

I mean, where did he come from?

The last time we saw each other, you
were too embarrassed to say goodbye.

Now you're working
together in our surgical suite.

Curtis said he needed some help
and I jumped at the opportunity.

- And you forgot to tell me?
- I didn't think you'd care.

Bullshit. You knew exactly
what you were doing.

- Why don't you scrub in? You can help us.
- No, thank you.

I have no desire to be around Sean while
he's got his tongue so far up your ass.

Sorry about that.

Guess you never got around to telling him
you're gonna be gone to Africa for a month.

Sorry to interrupt.

We really do need to get a "do
not disturb" sign on that door.

Nurse Linda has to come in,
she needs to take your vitals.

That's fine. I'm... I'm through.

Yeah, maybe you should
go finish off in the bathroom.

Really, it's not
worth the effort.

I've had farts that
were more exciting.

Why don't we take a look, huh?

- How's it look?
- Looks pretty good.

Very good, in fact.

How's the patient doing?

- Depressed.
- That's just the anesthesia wearing off.

- You'll be fine in a couple of days.
- Bullshit.

I've been rubbing myself
raw, fantasizing my ass off.

Sex without asphyxiation
is about as exciting as...

Day without sunshine?

Right. I forgot. Heh.

You like me better suicidal.

Oh, no, no. I don't.
I mean, I did, but...

I don't.

I've been having some
trouble in my marriage...

and I think you might
have just helped it.

She was a little
scared at first.

Thought I was trying to choke
her to death or something.

- And?
- It worked.

Probably the greatest
orgasm I've ever seen.

How was it when she did
you? Blow your mind or what?

No, no, no.

Better at giving than receiving.

Well, it depends
what you're receiving.

Believe me, if you wanna discover
your capacity for limitless ecstasy...

go beyond what you ever thought
possible, get her to return the favor.

Your marriage will last forever.

Well, I think the neck's
coming along fine.

As long as you stay off the windpipe
for a couple of months, maybe forever...

you'll be good.

Do you know what it's like...

to have experienced heaven...

and now be denied entry?

You know, I think I'll get you a
couple of girl-on-girl action videos.

I'll talk to my anesthesiologist,
get a recommendation.

- Hey, handsome.
- Hi, honey.

I'm just gonna jump on the
treadmill before we get to dinner.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hm.

- What?
- Come over here.

- What?
- Sit.

What are you doing?

You look like a
bitch in heat, Kimmie.

- Do I?
- Yeah.

Well, I'm actually a tigress,
and you are a tortoise.

- Tortoise?
- Mm-hm.

- That's exciting.
- I've been reading the Kama Sutra book.

You're not the
only creative lover.

Oh, I like creative.

Why don't you get me
off like I got you off?

Well, I'm not really
into that sort of thing.

Come on.

- Mm-mm.
- No?

But I want you to lay back.

Spread your legs.

Give me your hands.

Come on.

Come on, tighter.

Yeah.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, Christian. Oh,
that's so good. Oh!

- Oh!
- What are you doing?

What?

You don't come like
that with me. That's...

But I'm having an orgasm.

You faked that.

- No, I did not.
- Yes, you did. Bullshit.

- Filthy old porn trash.
- Oh, thanks.

I'm sorry.

This is the only time I've done
it, okay? I've never done it before.

Why should I believe that?

Because I'm not into the
choking thing. It freaks me out.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- I feel guilty.

Guilty? What the hell for?

I think that you have
made the right decision.

There's not much choice.
It's peach or blueberry.

I overheard
Ryerson on his cell...

after you two worked
on that girl the other day.

You're going with him to Africa.

I just want you to know
I think it's really great.

I mean, I do hate you for
leaving, but I do understand.

And by the way, when the
hell were you gonna tell me?

I mean, should I
update my résumé?

It hasn't sunk in yet.

What did Christian say?

- I haven't told him...
- Oh.

- Yet.
- Hmm.

Don't say anything, okay?

You know, it's funny...

after all these years of
you changing people...

and you being the
one who needed it.

Ah...

Shit head was right.

Feels like an orgasm
everywhere. My feet, my shoulders.

Oh, God, I'm gonna come.

Get up and take the belt off.

Oh, shit, I can't move.
There's not enough...

I can't feel... I can't breathe.

Stand up and the take
the goddamn belt off.

Get up.

Get up.

Christian. Christian.

Christian.

Jesus Christ.

Baby, oh, my God. Oh, no.

Baby? Baby?

Christian, honey?
Christian? Christian.

Christian? Jesus Christ.

Hi, can you come
right away, please?

- No.
- Are you okay?

Are you sure you don't
want them to come?

Did you try and kill yourself?

What is it, the choking thing,
honey? If it is, I don't care. I'll do it.

I'll do whatever you want.
I'll be a slave if you want.

- I don't want a slut.
- I didn't mean it like that.

- That's not what I meant.
- Yes, it is.

I had this...

moment of clarity just
before I lost consciousness.

You'll never make me happy.

I...

- can never love you enough.
- Baby, you are not thinking clearly.

You don't have enough oxygen in your
brain. You don't know what you're saying.

I've never felt so clear.

Christian, we've hit a rough patch.
You don't break up because of it.

We said for better
or worse, remember?

Yeah.

- I can't do that part.
- Okay, then look, this is my fault.

It's my fault. I've been a bad wife
and I've done really bad things...

but I'm so sorry, and
I'll make it up to you...

and I know that
you'll love me again.

Can you hear what you're saying?

I'm not good for you.

I'm meant to be alone.

He kicked me out.

That's it, it's over.
He's done with me now.

I've heard that before.

How many hundreds of times?

No, it's different this time.

You should have seen
the look on his face.

We're like two strangers. I mean,
the guy doesn't even like me.

Good.

He's doing you a favor, Kimber.

It's a gift.

But I don't want that kind of
gift. I want one that includes him.

One for us.

- I mean, he's where I belong.
- Not anymore.

Maybe you never did.

All right? Maybe it was just your
fear of not belonging anywhere...

that made you so stuck.

It doesn't matter now.

All that matters now is
what are you gonna do?

This is your
opportunity, Kimber.

Jump. Take the leap.

Find out who you are without
him telling you're not good enough...

pretty enough, smart enough.

Do it, before you get
too old and you can't.

I'm not like you Sean.
I don't hate Christian.

And I certainly don't
wanna be him either.

Sit down. Take a load off.

Don't drink too much.

Hey.

Hi.

What's with the bad mood?

Well, I don't really enjoy hanging
out with a bunch of Hollywood skanks.

Oh, come on, they're
nice girls, Kimber.

You said we were gonna be alone.

You'll get your turn. There's more
than enough Mike to go around.

Just give me a second,
I'll be right there.

I believe April is
next. Excuse me.

I thought I was the one you wanted
to spend the rest of your life with.

So did I.

Wow. Crazy times, huh?

I tell you, it's a good thing you
kicked my ass to the curb that final time.

I mean, it's taken a shit load of curves,
but I think I finally got the message.

I'm sorry about
that. It was shitty.

And I don't have an excuse...

other than I was
obsessed with Christian.

But I don't feel that way,
and you're so good to me...

and we're good
together, and I just...

I really, in my heart, feel that two
people that are right for each other...

need to spend the rest
of their lives together.

Honey, I've got more bumps
and bruises than a rodeo clown.

I can handle the pain, but after a while
you just get tired of being laughed at.

Listen...

do me a favor, will you, Kimber?

I've got a Chateau
Mouton-Rothschild 1986 over at the bar.

Would be a sweetie
and go get it?

And bring a corkscrew.

Hey.

Kimber, the wine?

Not yet. I'm planning to take
him to his favorite strip club...

and drop the bomb there, let
naked women soften the blow.

Uh... No, not anymore.
He kicked his wife out.

Listen, Curtis, I was thinking we
could author an article together...

based on this trip.

I have an idea for a new procedure
on patients with neurofibromatosis.

Great.

Okay. Yeah.

We'll talk about it when
I see you in a few days.

Ah. I gotta go. Okay, bye.

What?

Kimber fell off a boat
last night. She's...

She's missing.

What? Whose boat?

Mike's.

Coast Guard thinks
she... Thinks she's dead.

Wait, I don't understand
what happened. She...

She slipped and
fell off the boat?

- Mike thinks she jumped.
- Jumped?

Yeah.

Suicide?

But the Coast Guard is still
searching, so they could still find her.

Well, it's been 12 hours...

and you can't survive in the
water that long, you know?

I kicked her out last night.

I told her I wanted
her out of my life.

I should have...

I don't know what to do.

There you are. Dr. McNamara?

I wanted to thank you and Dr. Troy
for the excellent care I've received here.

- Is he around?
- No, he's...

You look like you're
healing well, Mr. Seabrook.

I feel great.

Today really is the first
day of the rest of my life.

I'm not gonna let a day pass
doing things I don't wanna do...

or feeling ways I
don't wanna feel.

Good for you.

I wish you luck with everything.

Hope the same for
you, Dr. McNamara.

All right. Goodbye.