Nip/Tuck (2003–2010): Season 2, Episode 10 - Kimber Henry - full transcript
Kimber, now a successful porn actress, returns, requesting Christian and Sean to surgically alter the vagina on a sex doll produced in her image.
Tell us what you don't like about
yourself, Mr. Connors.
Before we begin, I'd just like to say my
partner and I are big fans of your column.
We read it over breakfast in my house.
I love the one that you wrote
about wiping your ass with leaves.
The column about how you lived for
a month as an 18th-century settler...
to prove the inconvenience
of modern conveniences.
Right. And interesting you remember
my ass habits.
I just remember how fetching
my wife looked in her bloomers.
Living in a fishbowl
is all in a day's work as this one's wife.
- So how can we be of help today?
- Well, I'd like some boobs.
- You mean pec implants.
- No. Real lady boobs.
Amy recently lost a breast to cancer.
We were both a little surprised
at how much her sense of herself...
her sexual identity,
was tied up in her breasts.
I just want to do something radical
in solidarity with her.
Try and help understand
what she's been through.
And to understand women
and their breasts in general.
And he's got a book contract.
Walk a Mile In My Boobs.
And all the proceeds go
to Amy's cancer recovery center.
So, Mr. Connors,
were you thinking of these as permanent?
No, a year sounds about right.
- And what size?
- Like hers.
It's high Cs.
I figured after my mastectomy,
I'd go up a size.
Mr. Connors, putting the swelling,
pain, and risk of infection aside...
you'll have some sagging tissue
after the removal of the implants...
which would require
another surgery to eliminate.
There will be some colloidal
and hypertrophic scarring.
Sorry, you're just whetting my appetite.
No story is easy.
That's not what I'm looking for.
Besides, anything I go through will pale...
in comparison to what Amy's
already been through.
That's my book.
What do you say? Will you do it?
Go deep.
Cop a feel of the brand-new implants,
partner.
FedEx dropped off six months' worth
of tits an hour ago.
I like the new packaging.
Let me go to second base with the B.
Heads up.
I assume this is some
kind of male bonding ritual...
whereby your partnership
is being reaffirmed.
Fess up, Lizzie. You're a tit man.
I'm not.
But I'm thrilled that we're working on one.
Is that what I. Connors is getting?
- We're passing on that job.
- Too many risks.
It's for his wife's cancer center.
- Don't you get how great that is?
- Great for cancer. Disastrous for us.
We won't be taken seriously.
It's an unseemly publicity stunt.
Let me ask you guys something.
70%/% of your business is shoving
breast implants into women.
It's as easy for you as slicing a bagel.
It's unnatural to put them in a man.
It's no more unnatural than putting
in a boob three times a woman's size...
- and disfiguring her.
- We don't disfigure women.
Right. You enhance them.
Why can't the same be said for I. Connors?
Plus, here is a man
who is getting fake titties...
not to raise his low self-esteem, but
to heighten awareness about a disease.
If I. Connors isn't the perfect candidate
for cosmetic surgery...
then I don't know who is.
Attagirl. All done.
- I thought it would hurt more.
- You were so brave, honey.
Hello?
Hey.
Hi, Mommy.
Daddy just took my blood to make sure
I don't have juvenile diabetes.
Diabetes? Let me speak to Daddy, honey.
What?
Sean, why are you taking
blood from Annie?
Go get your shoes on, sweetheart.
We're leaving in five minutes.
- Why do you think?
- Sean, it's an insane thing to do.
Annie is your daughter...
Can I help you
with you something specific?
Yeah.
I've taken a place here
at Marine Gardens...
and the kitchen isn't fully equipped.
I'd like to come by and get
the espresso machine. You never use it.
Will you be around?
The house will be empty all day.
Come by anytime before 5:00.
Anything else?
Let's get it all worked out now
so you don't call all day long.
I'd like to pick up Annie
after school and show her my place.
No, I don't want to disrupt her routine.
Sean, why is it that you can forgive
Christian, but not me?
I don't know if I've forgiven him, Julia.
And how dare you ask me that?
As if I owe you any kind of explanation
at all for anything I feel.
You can have Annie through the weekend,
but it's the last time until...
we work out something more formal
with the lawyers.
Congratulations.
So, you're officially a whore now.
- Wrong. I'm a businesswoman.
- And I'm secretary of state.
Ms. Henry, you've made an appointment...
so tell us
what you don't like about yourself.
Her vagina.
This is a prototype of the new
Kimber Henry doll.
- The Rolls-Royce of RDs.
- RDs?
RealDolls. You know, sex dolls.
She's made out of high-grade silicone
that feels totally like flesh.
All of her joints are completely
flexible. Each of her three points of entry...
form a vacuum upon penetration...
which creates a suction effect
for super intense orgasms.
Remind me...
did I ever say anything during the course
of our sad, sordid affair...
that might lead you to believe
I'd be interested in this freak show?
Don't pretend to be prude, Christian.
RealDolls are sold to doctors,
judges, housewives and movie stars...
most of whom are
a lot less depraved than you.
Are you back on coke?
Do you ask all your potential clients
such rude questions?
Excuse my language, Dr. McNamara,
but your partner's a rude asshole...
who acts like he knows it all,
but in fact, he doesn't know shit.
You're not the first
to suggest that, Ms. Henry.
What is it you want from us that
your doll maker can't provide?
I'm not thrilled with what
they've done to her vagina.
It looks too generic to me.
I'd like it to be appealing and pretty.
The folds are too fleshy. See?
So I thought of you because
you're flesh sculptors.
I have orifice approval.
Back up a bit.
The last I heard, you were taking
Learning Annex acting classes.
So how did you get from Lady Macbeth
to Lady Machole?
I got real, Christian.
That's what happened.
I realized it wasn't my talent for playing
a character that people responded to.
It's my raw, simmering sensuality.
I simply got tired of fighting my nature.
Why don't you admit
you didn't have the patience...
to develop your skills as an actress,
so now you're doing porn?
You asked me what happened.
Do you want an answer?
Yes, I made a pornographic video.
It was an erotic fairy tale.
I had one sexual partner.
Everyone had their AIDS and STD tests.
They've already had 40,000 orders
for the next one.
That's unheard of.
My deal with Flawless Video is to make
five more digital films, at which point...
I move behind the camera.
Produce, maybe even direct.
The doll is key.
It'll make me an instant icon
in this fast-growing market.
Miss Kimber will go for $10,000.
I get $8,000 of that.
No offense.
I can see the doll is well fabricated,
but in the end, she's just rubber.
She's not real.
Sometimes, Doctor,
real isn't what you want.
The grownups
have to get back to work now, Kimber...
so why don't you pack up
both of your vaginas and go home?
Sean, I'll see you in surgery.
Before you turn me down, Christian...
Flawless Video is willing to pay $50,000...
for the perfect Miss Kimber pussy mold.
She's offering $50,000, Christian.
It's a lot of money to turn down.
Wake up, Sean.
There is only one reason
Kimber Henry came to us. She loves me.
The ugly vag was just an excuse
to get me in a room with her again.
She's a train wreck, Sean.
She can't help herself.
I've had enough Kimber Henry drama
for many lifetimes.
We are passing on this job.
I don't think you realize
how much revenue we lost...
during those weeks we were splitting up.
Now, we've got a payroll to meet.
Quarterly taxes next week.
Then it's very simple, Sean.
You take the case.
She doesn't want me, Christian.
She wants you. That was abundantly clear.
Then if she refuses you,
we'll know she's looking for trouble.
If she accepts, she's legit,
and we put $50,000 in the bank.
You know I'm right about this.
- Smile.
- What are you doing?
It's for my ever-expanding harassment file,
which will be on my lawyer's desk...
unless you get rid of that
demeaning, dehumanizing, degrading...
nightmare of a male fantasy
by the start of business tomorrow.
If you try to get to know her, Liz,
I think you might find she runs quite deep.
By 9:00, tomorrow morning, gentlemen.
Good day.
She's right, Sean.
You'll have to take the doll
to chez McNamara.
- I have a daughter.
- Then put her in the closet.
The doll.
You take her home.
So I can stare for hours
at the deranged bitch...
who tried to cut
my dick off with a knife? No way.
You want to take this case,
you carry the burden.
Actually, it could be a pleasant evening.
She doesn't eat much,
she doesn't mind watching boxing.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like
women with a few flaws and a brain.
Where did that get you?
I'm going to apply the prosthetic
alginate cream now.
Good foresight.
You shaved the entire area.
I got that done a week ago.
It's a Brazilian wax.
Haven't you ever seen one before?
Normally, my female patients are
shaved by Nurse Linda, so, I...
My wife does something
called a bikini wax...
which is not the same, obviously.
No, I've never seen one.
All the girls get them done now, Doctor.
Let me know if the temperature
of the paste is uncomfortable.
It's perfect.
Can I ask you a question, Sean?
- Can I call you Sean?
- Yes, sure.
What is it called when a person likes pain?
A masochist.
Do you think I'm a masochist, Sean?
I'm not sure what you mean.
Well, like today, when...
you said that Christian couldn't...
excuse me, wouldn't be here...
I felt so much pain, like I couldn't breathe.
How can I love someone so much
that hurts me so bad?
Sometimes love and hate
seem intertwined, don't they?
Now we have what's called
the mother mold.
I'll make a positive plaster cast from this...
which will then be used to make
the final vaginal cast for Miss Kimber.
Well, this did not hurt a bit.
Speaking of hurt...
I don't think you're a masochist, Kimber.
I just think you're a trusting person.
Maybe too trusting.
I'm a bit like that.
We put all our trust in the people we love.
So you don't think I'm some
pathetic old whore, like Christian does?
No, I don't think that.
I admire your spirit. You're a fighter.
Really? You admire me?
I wish I had that much worked out.
I wish my wife did.
We just separated.
I'm sorry.
What?
Okay. Speaking of change.
I know this is kind of cheating,
but no one's going to know.
When you make the mold,
do you think you could...
make the labia just a touch more delicate?
I don't understand.
I'd like my vagina to be prettier.
- I just think it could be better.
- I think it's perfect.
Did you hurt this much, babe?
- I remember discomfort.
- Discomfort.
Shit. Well, this is pain.
This is the real deal.
This is like an elephant
standing on my nads.
Chapter one:
Men are pussies. Women are lions.
Christ, I'm Pam Anderson.
- Babe?
- That's beautiful work, Dr. Troy.
I'm glad you're pleased.
The swelling will go down
over the next few weeks.
Can I touch them?
Yeah, sure.
Be gentle.
You like them? I kind of like them.
- Honey, what's wrong?
- I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Can you excuse me for a minute?
Okay, you're a woman.
Any ideas on what just happened there?
Well, she's probably reliving
something about the cancer trauma.
- Right.
- Bingo. Yeah, I should've known that.
Chapter two: The breast as lightning rod.
Strange to say this in
what has been a one-sided fight so far.
Is this the toughest test
of the Beantowner's career so far?
I'd say so. He's
fighting a guy who's got good speed...
good punching power,
and who's out to challenge him...
even after the bell rings.
This man's a contender.
Even though he's running him,
the guy's challenging him all the way.
One of the reasons
Jermaine looks so good tonight...
is because he's in against
better opposition than before...
Kid, behind you.
Sorry.
What do I do?
Find him.
Hello?
You left four messages.
This better be important.
- I want to pick up the waffle iron.
- Four calls for a waffle iron?
I always make waffles
on the weekend.
And, I want to keep up some degree
of normalcy amidst all this chaos.
Ever heard of Wal-Mart, Julia?
You're being so hateful, Sean.
I don't even know who you are.
Yeah, maybe I'm tired of being nice,
Julia.
Nice didn't keep you from betraying me.
Nice didn't keep my family together.
I want to try something new.
Don't flatter yourself. You were never nice.
You were just repressed.
You were pushing down love,
you were pushing down anger.
You want anger? How about this?
No need to go crazy. Do
you know what he says? "You lead inside. "
The best thing you can do
when you land that shot to the head?
Two to the body. There's nothing
more demeaning. It just...
breaks it down, okay?
Your wife is such a bitch.
I know.
You need a woman who doesn't talk back.
You need a woman who lets you
take out all the anger...
on her.
Sean, stop.
Give it to me, baby.
Hang on, God damn it.
I'm so sorry, Sean.
My doll makers need the prototype back
by 9:00 a. m. tomorrow...
for the Vegas retail show.
I called your offices
and I was told you had it here.
I called several times, so I just
thought I'd swing by just in case.
- You okay?
- Just a little surprised is all.
- Did you put in the new vagina?
- No.
Then why does she look
so disheveled?
This is really embarrassing, Kimber.
I had a little fun with it.
How was it?
Don't you think it's strange
that I made it with a doll?
I think there'd be something wrong
with you if you didn't.
I mean,
she's here and you're alone.
Who wouldn't?
- Sean, what's wrong?
- I miss her.
- I just miss her.
- I know how you feel.
I miss Christian like that sometimes, too.
Why are you so nice to me?
Because you need it,
and because you were nice to me.
- That was out of line. I'm sorry.
- I'm not.
Oh, my God.
- I bet your Venus is in Scorpio.
- You think so?
Yeah, I'd put money on it.
So...
when you were making it with the doll,
what were you thinking of?
Honestly?
You.
That is so hot.
- All right, I'll go make coffee.
- No, I'll do it.
And you go take your shower.
- Where do you keep the coffee?
- In the freezer.
Hi. I'm Kimber.
I'm Julia. Sean's wife.
I've always heard such nice things
about you, Julia.
I'm really sorry about all this.
Sean...
Don't ignore her on my account, Sean.
Look, Sean, I kind of need my doll back.
Doll?
My doll.
Go wait in the car, honey.
I'll be out in a minute.
How long have you
been sleeping with her?
Oh, God.
I feel like I'm going to be sick.
Welcome to my world.
Doesn't feel good, does it?
I don't know why I'm surprised.
I should have left you
after I found out about Megan O'Hara.
You didn't have the guts
to kick me out, Julia. You know why?
Because I'm compassionate.
A quality you lack.
Bullshit. You didn't leave
so you'd have someone to blame...
for everything that's wrong in your life.
I did you a favor by kicking you out.
Now maybe you'll do
something with your life.
You should start by getting laid.
While you're attacking my choices, Sean,
you may want to have a look at yours.
If you don't want to think about me,
and about what we had, then fine.
But at least be a man
and think about your children.
They don't deserve to have whores
wandering about their home.
Kimber isn't a whore, Julia.
And unlike you, Kimber knows who she is.
Kimber takes away the pain.
Whoever you are...
tell Sean...
that I'm taking the waffle iron and...
that I'll drop Annie at home
on Sunday night.
Call to make sure I'm home.
I'm changing the locks
the minute you walk out that door.
Yeah, I want them out.
Just take them out.
As your surgeon, I'd like to know why.
- Is there pain, problems I'm unaware of?
- Sure, yeah, the pain sucks.
So does the pressure.
But this whole thing was just misguided...
and I'm sorry I put everyone through it,
okay? End of story.
I hope you haven't spent
your whole book advance.
- Do you have to give it back?
- Yes, he does.
The five electric adjustable beds
we bought for the hospice also.
I've said I'm sorry.
- My wife is pissed, as you can see.
- You could've given it a little more time.
Am I wrong? The pain will dissipate.
Yeah, I write another book.
I'll call it Men Disappoint.
Your husband has a point. Everyone has
their own level of tolerance for pain.
That's so him. To jump into things
without thinking of consequences...
and now to jump out of them
without thinking.
- It's my chest, my choice.
- I didn't have a choice.
- Wasn't that the point? To understand?
- Don't guilt me, Amy.
I feel like a freak. You're always
grabbing them, touching them. I hate it.
Maybe this brought up Mrs. Connors'
feelings about losing her own breasts.
Maybe your wife would like you to know
what she's feeling when you touch her.
I have the name of a very good counselor.
He's helped a lot of our patients.
That's not it.
Well, then what, Amy?
Why do you like my tits so much?
- What are you, a lesbian?
- I'm not sure.
Okay, what do you mean, you're not sure?
Have you always been a lesbian, since
that thing with your college roommate?
I told you when we met
that was the first and only time.
I don't know.
I honestly don't know what's happening.
These feelings are just...
Just happening.
I'm not asking for them, Ike.
I didn't see them coming.
That's rich.
I get these breasts so I can be more
in touch with my feminine side...
and what they've accomplished is putting
you more in touch with your inner dyke.
Nice prose, Ike.
You wonder why
you've never won the Pulitzer.
Not to get too personal, Mr. Connors...
but I've known men to embrace
their wives' attraction to other women.
If the lines are clearly drawn,
then it enhances their sex lives.
I don't want some freak-show marriage.
I want the real deal. I want Amy.
The old Amy.
My Amy.
Like I said, just take them out.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I'm Roger.
You like apple martinis, I see.
Well, I like the color more than the taste.
Hey, we'll take the most expensive
drink you have in green, all right?
- This is a really cool place.
- Yeah.
- I like the retro thing.
- Yeah, I like that, too.
I like staying here, you know,
when I'm in town on business.
The service is really good here.
Told you.
These drinks are so strong.
Feeling no pain, are we?
I'm feeling, believe me.
You know, if you like green drinks,
you really should try absinthe.
What's that?
What?
It's illegal, for starters.
It's like a liquid aphrodisiac.
Supposedly it makes you horny as hell.
I don't need absinthe to feel that way.
You know, if you like the decor so much,
maybe you'd like to see one of the rooms.
The check, please.
Oh, my God.
Let me get my thing, okay?
No, not yet. I like this part.
That is so cool
that you just said that. That's so hot.
Go get your thing.
Okay. All right.
Hey. Come here.
- What's this?
- That's the Black Thunder.
- Why do you have this?
- It's my fantasy...
to have a girl use it on me.
And you're that girl.
- Roger, I'm really not into this.
- Come on.
I'm not paying for straight sex, all right?
I can get that back home in Houston.
What are you talking about?
Come on. I'll give you $500, okay?
But for that,
I want some bang for my buck.
- I'm not a hooker.
- Come on, enough role playing.
Come on, put it on.
Like I told you, you've got... Let go!
Let go of me!
Put it on, you little tease.
All right, you want to play rough?
Fine, we'll play rough.
What do you want? An extra $250?
Let go of me!
Come on,
don't call security, all right?
Go.
You're being
particularly chipper today.
You in a good mood
because it's quitting time?
Actually, Christian, I got laid.
I got laid good.
Good for you.
I slept with Kimber.
How much did you pay her?
15-blade.
I was an animal with her.
I didn't think I had it in me.
I didn't think I was that guy.
Anyway, I wanted you to know.
I cannot believe you, Sean.
You discarded her
like a piece of trash.
Are you getting territorial?
Not at all, hypocrite.
Feast on my sloppy seconds
for all I care.
Why am I the hypocrite?
All I've heard
out of your puckered mouth...
is how horrible it is that I bang patients.
Remember,
my outrage was directed...
at how you treated them
after you banged them.
It's a pity you didn't learn
from my errors.
You can't stand to see Kimber
moving on. That's what's bothering you.
You treat women like shit.
Thinking about her with me
just rubbed your face in it.
You're just bitter,
and trying to settle the score.
I think I already did.
Julia's on the phone.
I'm in surgery. Take a message.
And then throw it away.
She's crying.
- Where's my wife?
- Your wife?
Okay, look, I did not know this, all right?
I thought she was a hooker.
What? My wife just locked herself in
your bathroom. She said you were violent.
Listen, calm down, all right?
Your wife asked me if I wanted to get laid.
- You're full of shit.
- I thought she was a hooker!
Perfectly reasonable assumption.
She picked me up in a hooker bar.
We get up here and I take my toy out
and she just wigs out. Listen, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I was insensitive.
If you don't want people to think
you're a hooker, you shouldn't act like one.
You look like the kind of asshole
who thinks all women are hookers.
Okay.
I'm going for a nightcap.
Just get your wife out of my bathroom.
Take her home.
Oh, my God, Sean.
I'm so sorry.
What were you thinking, Julia?
Look, just get me out of here.
I'll explain in the car.
I get it. I totally get it.
It's just another waffle iron.
You can't have me,
you can't let go...
so you're going to keep finding ways
to prey on my sympathy.
Throw yourself in front of me.
Make me come and pick up
the pieces of your sad little life.
Oh, yeah, right.
Like I wanted you to see me like this.
You know what? All I wanted was just...
a good, old-fashioned,
mindless sexual encounter.
How am I any different from you, Sean?
I didn't call you
sobbing and begging you to come get me.
Take a taxi home.
And for God's sake, get yourself
cleaned up before Annie sees you.
Hey, Sean. It's me, Kimber.
I had to go to Orlando for a convention,
so I left you the next best thing.
Brand-new, improved Miss Kimber doll.
Enjoy.
yourself, Mr. Connors.
Before we begin, I'd just like to say my
partner and I are big fans of your column.
We read it over breakfast in my house.
I love the one that you wrote
about wiping your ass with leaves.
The column about how you lived for
a month as an 18th-century settler...
to prove the inconvenience
of modern conveniences.
Right. And interesting you remember
my ass habits.
I just remember how fetching
my wife looked in her bloomers.
Living in a fishbowl
is all in a day's work as this one's wife.
- So how can we be of help today?
- Well, I'd like some boobs.
- You mean pec implants.
- No. Real lady boobs.
Amy recently lost a breast to cancer.
We were both a little surprised
at how much her sense of herself...
her sexual identity,
was tied up in her breasts.
I just want to do something radical
in solidarity with her.
Try and help understand
what she's been through.
And to understand women
and their breasts in general.
And he's got a book contract.
Walk a Mile In My Boobs.
And all the proceeds go
to Amy's cancer recovery center.
So, Mr. Connors,
were you thinking of these as permanent?
No, a year sounds about right.
- And what size?
- Like hers.
It's high Cs.
I figured after my mastectomy,
I'd go up a size.
Mr. Connors, putting the swelling,
pain, and risk of infection aside...
you'll have some sagging tissue
after the removal of the implants...
which would require
another surgery to eliminate.
There will be some colloidal
and hypertrophic scarring.
Sorry, you're just whetting my appetite.
No story is easy.
That's not what I'm looking for.
Besides, anything I go through will pale...
in comparison to what Amy's
already been through.
That's my book.
What do you say? Will you do it?
Go deep.
Cop a feel of the brand-new implants,
partner.
FedEx dropped off six months' worth
of tits an hour ago.
I like the new packaging.
Let me go to second base with the B.
Heads up.
I assume this is some
kind of male bonding ritual...
whereby your partnership
is being reaffirmed.
Fess up, Lizzie. You're a tit man.
I'm not.
But I'm thrilled that we're working on one.
Is that what I. Connors is getting?
- We're passing on that job.
- Too many risks.
It's for his wife's cancer center.
- Don't you get how great that is?
- Great for cancer. Disastrous for us.
We won't be taken seriously.
It's an unseemly publicity stunt.
Let me ask you guys something.
70%/% of your business is shoving
breast implants into women.
It's as easy for you as slicing a bagel.
It's unnatural to put them in a man.
It's no more unnatural than putting
in a boob three times a woman's size...
- and disfiguring her.
- We don't disfigure women.
Right. You enhance them.
Why can't the same be said for I. Connors?
Plus, here is a man
who is getting fake titties...
not to raise his low self-esteem, but
to heighten awareness about a disease.
If I. Connors isn't the perfect candidate
for cosmetic surgery...
then I don't know who is.
Attagirl. All done.
- I thought it would hurt more.
- You were so brave, honey.
Hello?
Hey.
Hi, Mommy.
Daddy just took my blood to make sure
I don't have juvenile diabetes.
Diabetes? Let me speak to Daddy, honey.
What?
Sean, why are you taking
blood from Annie?
Go get your shoes on, sweetheart.
We're leaving in five minutes.
- Why do you think?
- Sean, it's an insane thing to do.
Annie is your daughter...
Can I help you
with you something specific?
Yeah.
I've taken a place here
at Marine Gardens...
and the kitchen isn't fully equipped.
I'd like to come by and get
the espresso machine. You never use it.
Will you be around?
The house will be empty all day.
Come by anytime before 5:00.
Anything else?
Let's get it all worked out now
so you don't call all day long.
I'd like to pick up Annie
after school and show her my place.
No, I don't want to disrupt her routine.
Sean, why is it that you can forgive
Christian, but not me?
I don't know if I've forgiven him, Julia.
And how dare you ask me that?
As if I owe you any kind of explanation
at all for anything I feel.
You can have Annie through the weekend,
but it's the last time until...
we work out something more formal
with the lawyers.
Congratulations.
So, you're officially a whore now.
- Wrong. I'm a businesswoman.
- And I'm secretary of state.
Ms. Henry, you've made an appointment...
so tell us
what you don't like about yourself.
Her vagina.
This is a prototype of the new
Kimber Henry doll.
- The Rolls-Royce of RDs.
- RDs?
RealDolls. You know, sex dolls.
She's made out of high-grade silicone
that feels totally like flesh.
All of her joints are completely
flexible. Each of her three points of entry...
form a vacuum upon penetration...
which creates a suction effect
for super intense orgasms.
Remind me...
did I ever say anything during the course
of our sad, sordid affair...
that might lead you to believe
I'd be interested in this freak show?
Don't pretend to be prude, Christian.
RealDolls are sold to doctors,
judges, housewives and movie stars...
most of whom are
a lot less depraved than you.
Are you back on coke?
Do you ask all your potential clients
such rude questions?
Excuse my language, Dr. McNamara,
but your partner's a rude asshole...
who acts like he knows it all,
but in fact, he doesn't know shit.
You're not the first
to suggest that, Ms. Henry.
What is it you want from us that
your doll maker can't provide?
I'm not thrilled with what
they've done to her vagina.
It looks too generic to me.
I'd like it to be appealing and pretty.
The folds are too fleshy. See?
So I thought of you because
you're flesh sculptors.
I have orifice approval.
Back up a bit.
The last I heard, you were taking
Learning Annex acting classes.
So how did you get from Lady Macbeth
to Lady Machole?
I got real, Christian.
That's what happened.
I realized it wasn't my talent for playing
a character that people responded to.
It's my raw, simmering sensuality.
I simply got tired of fighting my nature.
Why don't you admit
you didn't have the patience...
to develop your skills as an actress,
so now you're doing porn?
You asked me what happened.
Do you want an answer?
Yes, I made a pornographic video.
It was an erotic fairy tale.
I had one sexual partner.
Everyone had their AIDS and STD tests.
They've already had 40,000 orders
for the next one.
That's unheard of.
My deal with Flawless Video is to make
five more digital films, at which point...
I move behind the camera.
Produce, maybe even direct.
The doll is key.
It'll make me an instant icon
in this fast-growing market.
Miss Kimber will go for $10,000.
I get $8,000 of that.
No offense.
I can see the doll is well fabricated,
but in the end, she's just rubber.
She's not real.
Sometimes, Doctor,
real isn't what you want.
The grownups
have to get back to work now, Kimber...
so why don't you pack up
both of your vaginas and go home?
Sean, I'll see you in surgery.
Before you turn me down, Christian...
Flawless Video is willing to pay $50,000...
for the perfect Miss Kimber pussy mold.
She's offering $50,000, Christian.
It's a lot of money to turn down.
Wake up, Sean.
There is only one reason
Kimber Henry came to us. She loves me.
The ugly vag was just an excuse
to get me in a room with her again.
She's a train wreck, Sean.
She can't help herself.
I've had enough Kimber Henry drama
for many lifetimes.
We are passing on this job.
I don't think you realize
how much revenue we lost...
during those weeks we were splitting up.
Now, we've got a payroll to meet.
Quarterly taxes next week.
Then it's very simple, Sean.
You take the case.
She doesn't want me, Christian.
She wants you. That was abundantly clear.
Then if she refuses you,
we'll know she's looking for trouble.
If she accepts, she's legit,
and we put $50,000 in the bank.
You know I'm right about this.
- Smile.
- What are you doing?
It's for my ever-expanding harassment file,
which will be on my lawyer's desk...
unless you get rid of that
demeaning, dehumanizing, degrading...
nightmare of a male fantasy
by the start of business tomorrow.
If you try to get to know her, Liz,
I think you might find she runs quite deep.
By 9:00, tomorrow morning, gentlemen.
Good day.
She's right, Sean.
You'll have to take the doll
to chez McNamara.
- I have a daughter.
- Then put her in the closet.
The doll.
You take her home.
So I can stare for hours
at the deranged bitch...
who tried to cut
my dick off with a knife? No way.
You want to take this case,
you carry the burden.
Actually, it could be a pleasant evening.
She doesn't eat much,
she doesn't mind watching boxing.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like
women with a few flaws and a brain.
Where did that get you?
I'm going to apply the prosthetic
alginate cream now.
Good foresight.
You shaved the entire area.
I got that done a week ago.
It's a Brazilian wax.
Haven't you ever seen one before?
Normally, my female patients are
shaved by Nurse Linda, so, I...
My wife does something
called a bikini wax...
which is not the same, obviously.
No, I've never seen one.
All the girls get them done now, Doctor.
Let me know if the temperature
of the paste is uncomfortable.
It's perfect.
Can I ask you a question, Sean?
- Can I call you Sean?
- Yes, sure.
What is it called when a person likes pain?
A masochist.
Do you think I'm a masochist, Sean?
I'm not sure what you mean.
Well, like today, when...
you said that Christian couldn't...
excuse me, wouldn't be here...
I felt so much pain, like I couldn't breathe.
How can I love someone so much
that hurts me so bad?
Sometimes love and hate
seem intertwined, don't they?
Now we have what's called
the mother mold.
I'll make a positive plaster cast from this...
which will then be used to make
the final vaginal cast for Miss Kimber.
Well, this did not hurt a bit.
Speaking of hurt...
I don't think you're a masochist, Kimber.
I just think you're a trusting person.
Maybe too trusting.
I'm a bit like that.
We put all our trust in the people we love.
So you don't think I'm some
pathetic old whore, like Christian does?
No, I don't think that.
I admire your spirit. You're a fighter.
Really? You admire me?
I wish I had that much worked out.
I wish my wife did.
We just separated.
I'm sorry.
What?
Okay. Speaking of change.
I know this is kind of cheating,
but no one's going to know.
When you make the mold,
do you think you could...
make the labia just a touch more delicate?
I don't understand.
I'd like my vagina to be prettier.
- I just think it could be better.
- I think it's perfect.
Did you hurt this much, babe?
- I remember discomfort.
- Discomfort.
Shit. Well, this is pain.
This is the real deal.
This is like an elephant
standing on my nads.
Chapter one:
Men are pussies. Women are lions.
Christ, I'm Pam Anderson.
- Babe?
- That's beautiful work, Dr. Troy.
I'm glad you're pleased.
The swelling will go down
over the next few weeks.
Can I touch them?
Yeah, sure.
Be gentle.
You like them? I kind of like them.
- Honey, what's wrong?
- I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Can you excuse me for a minute?
Okay, you're a woman.
Any ideas on what just happened there?
Well, she's probably reliving
something about the cancer trauma.
- Right.
- Bingo. Yeah, I should've known that.
Chapter two: The breast as lightning rod.
Strange to say this in
what has been a one-sided fight so far.
Is this the toughest test
of the Beantowner's career so far?
I'd say so. He's
fighting a guy who's got good speed...
good punching power,
and who's out to challenge him...
even after the bell rings.
This man's a contender.
Even though he's running him,
the guy's challenging him all the way.
One of the reasons
Jermaine looks so good tonight...
is because he's in against
better opposition than before...
Kid, behind you.
Sorry.
What do I do?
Find him.
Hello?
You left four messages.
This better be important.
- I want to pick up the waffle iron.
- Four calls for a waffle iron?
I always make waffles
on the weekend.
And, I want to keep up some degree
of normalcy amidst all this chaos.
Ever heard of Wal-Mart, Julia?
You're being so hateful, Sean.
I don't even know who you are.
Yeah, maybe I'm tired of being nice,
Julia.
Nice didn't keep you from betraying me.
Nice didn't keep my family together.
I want to try something new.
Don't flatter yourself. You were never nice.
You were just repressed.
You were pushing down love,
you were pushing down anger.
You want anger? How about this?
No need to go crazy. Do
you know what he says? "You lead inside. "
The best thing you can do
when you land that shot to the head?
Two to the body. There's nothing
more demeaning. It just...
breaks it down, okay?
Your wife is such a bitch.
I know.
You need a woman who doesn't talk back.
You need a woman who lets you
take out all the anger...
on her.
Sean, stop.
Give it to me, baby.
Hang on, God damn it.
I'm so sorry, Sean.
My doll makers need the prototype back
by 9:00 a. m. tomorrow...
for the Vegas retail show.
I called your offices
and I was told you had it here.
I called several times, so I just
thought I'd swing by just in case.
- You okay?
- Just a little surprised is all.
- Did you put in the new vagina?
- No.
Then why does she look
so disheveled?
This is really embarrassing, Kimber.
I had a little fun with it.
How was it?
Don't you think it's strange
that I made it with a doll?
I think there'd be something wrong
with you if you didn't.
I mean,
she's here and you're alone.
Who wouldn't?
- Sean, what's wrong?
- I miss her.
- I just miss her.
- I know how you feel.
I miss Christian like that sometimes, too.
Why are you so nice to me?
Because you need it,
and because you were nice to me.
- That was out of line. I'm sorry.
- I'm not.
Oh, my God.
- I bet your Venus is in Scorpio.
- You think so?
Yeah, I'd put money on it.
So...
when you were making it with the doll,
what were you thinking of?
Honestly?
You.
That is so hot.
- All right, I'll go make coffee.
- No, I'll do it.
And you go take your shower.
- Where do you keep the coffee?
- In the freezer.
Hi. I'm Kimber.
I'm Julia. Sean's wife.
I've always heard such nice things
about you, Julia.
I'm really sorry about all this.
Sean...
Don't ignore her on my account, Sean.
Look, Sean, I kind of need my doll back.
Doll?
My doll.
Go wait in the car, honey.
I'll be out in a minute.
How long have you
been sleeping with her?
Oh, God.
I feel like I'm going to be sick.
Welcome to my world.
Doesn't feel good, does it?
I don't know why I'm surprised.
I should have left you
after I found out about Megan O'Hara.
You didn't have the guts
to kick me out, Julia. You know why?
Because I'm compassionate.
A quality you lack.
Bullshit. You didn't leave
so you'd have someone to blame...
for everything that's wrong in your life.
I did you a favor by kicking you out.
Now maybe you'll do
something with your life.
You should start by getting laid.
While you're attacking my choices, Sean,
you may want to have a look at yours.
If you don't want to think about me,
and about what we had, then fine.
But at least be a man
and think about your children.
They don't deserve to have whores
wandering about their home.
Kimber isn't a whore, Julia.
And unlike you, Kimber knows who she is.
Kimber takes away the pain.
Whoever you are...
tell Sean...
that I'm taking the waffle iron and...
that I'll drop Annie at home
on Sunday night.
Call to make sure I'm home.
I'm changing the locks
the minute you walk out that door.
Yeah, I want them out.
Just take them out.
As your surgeon, I'd like to know why.
- Is there pain, problems I'm unaware of?
- Sure, yeah, the pain sucks.
So does the pressure.
But this whole thing was just misguided...
and I'm sorry I put everyone through it,
okay? End of story.
I hope you haven't spent
your whole book advance.
- Do you have to give it back?
- Yes, he does.
The five electric adjustable beds
we bought for the hospice also.
I've said I'm sorry.
- My wife is pissed, as you can see.
- You could've given it a little more time.
Am I wrong? The pain will dissipate.
Yeah, I write another book.
I'll call it Men Disappoint.
Your husband has a point. Everyone has
their own level of tolerance for pain.
That's so him. To jump into things
without thinking of consequences...
and now to jump out of them
without thinking.
- It's my chest, my choice.
- I didn't have a choice.
- Wasn't that the point? To understand?
- Don't guilt me, Amy.
I feel like a freak. You're always
grabbing them, touching them. I hate it.
Maybe this brought up Mrs. Connors'
feelings about losing her own breasts.
Maybe your wife would like you to know
what she's feeling when you touch her.
I have the name of a very good counselor.
He's helped a lot of our patients.
That's not it.
Well, then what, Amy?
Why do you like my tits so much?
- What are you, a lesbian?
- I'm not sure.
Okay, what do you mean, you're not sure?
Have you always been a lesbian, since
that thing with your college roommate?
I told you when we met
that was the first and only time.
I don't know.
I honestly don't know what's happening.
These feelings are just...
Just happening.
I'm not asking for them, Ike.
I didn't see them coming.
That's rich.
I get these breasts so I can be more
in touch with my feminine side...
and what they've accomplished is putting
you more in touch with your inner dyke.
Nice prose, Ike.
You wonder why
you've never won the Pulitzer.
Not to get too personal, Mr. Connors...
but I've known men to embrace
their wives' attraction to other women.
If the lines are clearly drawn,
then it enhances their sex lives.
I don't want some freak-show marriage.
I want the real deal. I want Amy.
The old Amy.
My Amy.
Like I said, just take them out.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I'm Roger.
You like apple martinis, I see.
Well, I like the color more than the taste.
Hey, we'll take the most expensive
drink you have in green, all right?
- This is a really cool place.
- Yeah.
- I like the retro thing.
- Yeah, I like that, too.
I like staying here, you know,
when I'm in town on business.
The service is really good here.
Told you.
These drinks are so strong.
Feeling no pain, are we?
I'm feeling, believe me.
You know, if you like green drinks,
you really should try absinthe.
What's that?
What?
It's illegal, for starters.
It's like a liquid aphrodisiac.
Supposedly it makes you horny as hell.
I don't need absinthe to feel that way.
You know, if you like the decor so much,
maybe you'd like to see one of the rooms.
The check, please.
Oh, my God.
Let me get my thing, okay?
No, not yet. I like this part.
That is so cool
that you just said that. That's so hot.
Go get your thing.
Okay. All right.
Hey. Come here.
- What's this?
- That's the Black Thunder.
- Why do you have this?
- It's my fantasy...
to have a girl use it on me.
And you're that girl.
- Roger, I'm really not into this.
- Come on.
I'm not paying for straight sex, all right?
I can get that back home in Houston.
What are you talking about?
Come on. I'll give you $500, okay?
But for that,
I want some bang for my buck.
- I'm not a hooker.
- Come on, enough role playing.
Come on, put it on.
Like I told you, you've got... Let go!
Let go of me!
Put it on, you little tease.
All right, you want to play rough?
Fine, we'll play rough.
What do you want? An extra $250?
Let go of me!
Come on,
don't call security, all right?
Go.
You're being
particularly chipper today.
You in a good mood
because it's quitting time?
Actually, Christian, I got laid.
I got laid good.
Good for you.
I slept with Kimber.
How much did you pay her?
15-blade.
I was an animal with her.
I didn't think I had it in me.
I didn't think I was that guy.
Anyway, I wanted you to know.
I cannot believe you, Sean.
You discarded her
like a piece of trash.
Are you getting territorial?
Not at all, hypocrite.
Feast on my sloppy seconds
for all I care.
Why am I the hypocrite?
All I've heard
out of your puckered mouth...
is how horrible it is that I bang patients.
Remember,
my outrage was directed...
at how you treated them
after you banged them.
It's a pity you didn't learn
from my errors.
You can't stand to see Kimber
moving on. That's what's bothering you.
You treat women like shit.
Thinking about her with me
just rubbed your face in it.
You're just bitter,
and trying to settle the score.
I think I already did.
Julia's on the phone.
I'm in surgery. Take a message.
And then throw it away.
She's crying.
- Where's my wife?
- Your wife?
Okay, look, I did not know this, all right?
I thought she was a hooker.
What? My wife just locked herself in
your bathroom. She said you were violent.
Listen, calm down, all right?
Your wife asked me if I wanted to get laid.
- You're full of shit.
- I thought she was a hooker!
Perfectly reasonable assumption.
She picked me up in a hooker bar.
We get up here and I take my toy out
and she just wigs out. Listen, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I was insensitive.
If you don't want people to think
you're a hooker, you shouldn't act like one.
You look like the kind of asshole
who thinks all women are hookers.
Okay.
I'm going for a nightcap.
Just get your wife out of my bathroom.
Take her home.
Oh, my God, Sean.
I'm so sorry.
What were you thinking, Julia?
Look, just get me out of here.
I'll explain in the car.
I get it. I totally get it.
It's just another waffle iron.
You can't have me,
you can't let go...
so you're going to keep finding ways
to prey on my sympathy.
Throw yourself in front of me.
Make me come and pick up
the pieces of your sad little life.
Oh, yeah, right.
Like I wanted you to see me like this.
You know what? All I wanted was just...
a good, old-fashioned,
mindless sexual encounter.
How am I any different from you, Sean?
I didn't call you
sobbing and begging you to come get me.
Take a taxi home.
And for God's sake, get yourself
cleaned up before Annie sees you.
Hey, Sean. It's me, Kimber.
I had to go to Orlando for a convention,
so I left you the next best thing.
Brand-new, improved Miss Kimber doll.
Enjoy.