Nip/Tuck (2003–2010): Season 1, Episode 6 - Megan O'Hara - full transcript

Mrs. Freudlich,

Tell me what you don't like
about yourself.

It's berger.

I'm bliss berger.

Mrs. Freudlich's at,
uh, 4:00, sean.

I'm sorry, my mistake.

Miss berger,

Tell us what you don't
like about yourself.

My wings.

May we see your wings?

I call this the
wattle from hell.



When it's hot,

I just move it back
and forth like this,

And in 20 seconds
my condo's cooler

Than an ice cream truck.
I swear to god.

And that's just my arm.

Do you want to see
my back fat?

Your point's been
effectively made, miss berger.

You can put your jacket on
if you wish.

Thank you.

You've obviously lost
a great deal of weight.

Ahh...143 pounds
and counting.

The, uh--The corrective
operation you want

Is called a brachioplasty.

We can probably do the
abdomnioplasty at the same time?



Put it on the books.

If you guys are as
good as i've heard,

I'll be swinging my
tucked tuckus

Down the aisle
in vera wang.

Heh heh.
Is there a date?

Because there will be
a healing period,

Especially if we're
talking sleeveless.

No date yet.

Um, that's why i'm here.

Look.

This is my isaac.

Is he not to die?

Not only is he
good-Looking

And jewish,
he's a doctor.

We've been dating
for 6 months now...

over the phone.

He hasn't seen you yet?

No, of course he has.
I sent him a picture...

that's 10 years old.

I could not let him see
me tipping the scales

At 260, you know.
He'd reject me.

He is very into
physical fitness.

Isaac does pilates.

And now he's pushing
for a meeting?

Has been for
3 months now,

So i got motivated

And lost the junk
in the trunk.

But now i have
a deadline.

We're finally
meeting in 3 weeks,

And i have got
to look hot.

So, miss berger,
you've been living a lie.

Ok...yeah...i have been.

And i'm ashamed
about that.

It was not right
to lie,

But i am working
very hard

To make it
the truth.

Then let's make
an honest woman out of you.

Ok.

You and julia
been sucking back

A little chardonnay
in the wine cellar?

You've been at half
mast all day today.

I'm just tired,
that's all.

Bat girl got me thinking
about a slogan

For an ad campaign:
"be yourself.

You know you could
look better."

Good, huh?

I told you i don't want
to advertise. It's sleazy.

It may have been sleazy
2 months ago,

But now it's
a necessity.

Bobolit's doubled
his billboard campaign,

And next week
he's launching

Cable tv advertising.

If we don't compete,
we're screwed.

Speaking of which...

* ahh *

* make me beautiful *

* make me *

* a perfect soul *

* a perfect mind *

* a perfect face *

* a perfect *

* life *

Captioning made possible by
warner bros.

[Tv playing]

[Shuts tv off]

What time is it?

Oh, no.

It's only 7:00, dad.
You're not late.

Why'd you sleep
down here?

You and mom fighting
again?

Your mother and i
are fine, matt.

I just couldn't sleep.

You ok?

Mm-Hmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

[Sighs]

I wanted a brother.

What?

The baby that mom lost.

I was hoping
it was a brother.

That's why you're sad,
too, right?

You can't stop thinking
about it, either.

I'm concerned how
your mother feels.

A miscarriage takes a toll

On a woman physically
and emotionally.

But how do you feel?

It didn't happen to me.

Yes, it did, dad.

It--It--It was
your baby, too.

Did you ever
give it a name?

First of all,
you never name a baby

Until it's born.
It's bad luck.

It's different for your mom.

She's got the hormones,

And the baby's in her body.

[Sean sighs]

Mom is doing fine, dad.

You're the one that's
missing in action.

You're...

depressed.

How did you get
so sweet, matt?

Not from your old man.

I'll put on some coffee.

David.

What?

If it was a boy...

i wanted to name him david.

My sons matt and david.

[Crying]

Dad.

Nanette babcock
killed herself?

When?

Her landlord said
she shot herself

3 weeks ago.

I can't believe this.

Any other ideas who
might be trashing

Your vehicles?

No.

Well, in my experience,
dr. Troy,

And i've had hundreds
of cases such as these,

It's usually someone
close to home.

You did it.

So sue me.

I ate your yoplait yesterday.
I confess.

You trashed my car.
Both of them.

Excuse me?

It's suddenly
crystal clear.

The incidents began
when you started working

At troy/mcnamara.

Mcnamara/troy,
but i digress.

I didn't trash your cars,
christian.

You're gonna have to file
a restraining order

Against nanette babcock.

She's dead.

She killed herself...

which makes you
the prime suspect.

What would my motive be?

You want the power,
and i've got it.

You've enjoyed pushing
my buttons

Since you started here.

Well, i may have
pushed your buttons,

But you didn't push mine.

Translation: i didn't even
have an orgasm

When i slept with you.

Your narcissism
was so sickening

That i had to get the hell
out of your apartment

Fulfilled or not.

The person who's
trashing your car

Is clearly suffering from
a jealousy-Induced manic rage.

I'm not jealous
of your other women.

I slept with you
knowing full well

That you were just
a lost little boy.

Shit.

You didn't do it.

Then who the hell did?

The list is so long
it could take months

To question
all the suspects.

You didn't have an
orgasm, is that right?

Not a shudder.

You're a liar.

I rode you like
a triple crown jockey...

and you came.

Get out of my face
right now.

I counted
each contraction.

3 times.

Or were you doing
your kegel exercises?

Lock the door.

* throw me up
against the wall *

* make me scream
make me scream *

* take me like a baby doll *

* make me scream
make me scream *

* who's the fairest
of them all? *

* make me scream
make me scream *

* oh, ooh, oh *

* oh, ooh, oh *

* la la la la la la
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *

* la la la la la la
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *

Anyone ever tell you look fine
in that skirt?

Don't.

Expressing yourself
in private is fine.

Doing it in public
is not, ok?

I told you i don't want
anyone to know about us,

And i mean it.

It's cool, rid.
Nobody's watching.

Why do you have to be
so goddamn clingy?

You're pathetic.

Wait, don't go.

Get your hands
off me, dyke.

Everything all right?

Oh, my god, lurk much?

I wasn't lurking.
I just asked if you were ok.

I'm fine, matt.

My girlfriend misses
the trouser snake,

And i'm fine.

Yeah, well...

get a dildo, vanessa.

She's allergic
to latex.

It's not my problem.

But you could be
the solution.

What?

You care about me,
don't you?

You understand my feelings
for ridley, right?

Because those are
your feelings for me.

So?

So help me.

You're the only one
i trust.

Help me make her satisfied
so i can keep her.

And...i'll satisfy...you.

What, you're--You're
proposing a 3-Way?

Yes.

Hey, honey.

You must be hungry.

You want me
to fix something?

I can warm up the pasta
i made for the kids.

Nanette babcock.
Remember her?

The manic depressive?

The one you helped?

I didn't help her
enough, julia.

She shot herself.
She's dead.

Oh...

i could have done more.

I could have saved her.

Oh...

you're a doctor, sean...
not god.

I can't, julia.

Shh...

mmm...

mmm...mmm...

are you hard?

Oh...

is your thing in?

I threw it away
when it failed us.

I just had my period.
I should be fine.

Mmm...

i can't risk fine,
julia.

I can't go through...
another accident.

I can't stand
another loss.

We have to do something.

Maybe i should get
a vasectomy.

Then we wouldn't have
to worry anymore.

That's an awfully big leap...

between something
and vasectomy.

Be honest, julia.

Do you want
another child?

Can you see us
having one?

No.

Maybe i should get
my tubes tied.

That's absurd.

It's a much simpler
operation for me.

[Sighs]

Did you have any names
picked out?

Heh.

No. Did you?

No.

She wants a 3-Way?

Yeah, her girlfriend
misses guys.

So now you want
some advice.

Suddenly the yearning
for uncle christian

Makes perfect sense.

I've missed you.

I really have.

Did you tell your mother

We were taking the boat
out today?

Of course not, man.

She would have
hit the roof.

She had every right to.

I should never have taken you
to that porn party, matt.

If you and i are gonna hang,

We're following
a new set of rules.

No more illicit conversations,

No more advice on things

You're not experienced enough
to handle.

Well, what are we gonna
talk about then?

You're right. God,
it's gonna be boring.

Look, uncle chris,

Do you think i'm
mature for for age?

God help me, yes.

Then stop freaking out
that you're corrupting me.

Is having a 3-Way
taking it to the edge?

Yeah, it is.

It sounds weird,

But maybe it's a
really modern way

For vanessa and i
to be together.

So i'm gonna do it.

With or without you.

Ok.

Rule number one--

Should i write this down?

No, just listen.

Rule number one: it's
all about the ladies.

Forget who you like
and what you like

Because you're there
to please them.

Start chugging your b vitamins
'cause it's exhausting shit.

Ok.

Uh, what's rule
number 2?

It's all about the ladies.

I'm telling you, sean,
i felt violated.

The only other time i felt
remotely this powerless

Was back in the early nineties
when some chick

Slipped her finger up my butt
with no warning.

Earth to sean.

Did you hear a word i said?
I'm upset!

And i'm depressed.

So, take a hit of v.
It'll perk you right up.

I don't need remedies.
I need a solution.

So i'm gonna get
a vasectomy.

What? Why?

Julia doesn't wanna have
any more kids,

And i can't handle
another mistake.

That is the most bullshit
cure for depression

I've ever heard of.

You wanna shoot blanks,
sean, don't get snipped.

Do what i do.
Take a bath.

What?

Before every date
i sit in a 116 degree bath.

Excessive testicular heat
shuts down spermatogenesis.

Tea bag your testicles
in a hot tub

And i swear to god, you will be
sterile and squeaky clean.

You don't know about
real loss,

So don't offer me
advice.

If your marriage is
this shaky,

That this is the only solution
to your problems,

Good luck.

And screw you.
I do understand loss.

The boatox is my baby.

What am i gonna do
to make this stop?

I filed a complaint.
The cops are useless.

I think somebody's
gotta go through

His little black book
and make amends.

[Music playing]

* this is the music
we tighten up with *

* first, tighten up
on the drums *

* come on, now, drummer *

* want you to tighten it up
for me now *

* tighten up on that bass now *

* tighten it up *

* now, tighten it up, horns *

* yeah, everybody
tighten it up now *

When was your last radiation,
mrs. O'hara?

9 months ago.

We were very lucky
she didn't lose her hair.

Not a single strand.

Most women
who have a mastectomy

Choose to have breast
reconstruction done

During their surgery.
I see you didn't.

She was very sick from
the chemo, so she didn't--

Jim, you wanna let me
answer this question?

These are my tits he's
talking about here.

[Laughs] ok.

The chemo did make me
very sick.

I wanted to concentrate
on healing.

I'm a very
holistic person.

That's my business,
actually.

I'm a chiropractor.

When a girlfriend of
mine got implants,

She said she woke up
after the operation

Feeling like
a ton of bricks

Were sitting
on her chest.

I felt i could only
handle so much,

You know?

Usually, the sensation
of weight only happens

If the implant is a "c"
or larger.

That's what we want. "C"s.

That's my present
to him

For going through
this hell with me.

I was previously
an "a" cup.

That's an awfully
generous gift.

Well, i can't give him
the children we wanted.

The chemo
and radiation...

it's--It's ok.
We can adopt.

We--We're doing great.

Jim, just stop!
Just stop it!

For once just stop
being a cheerleader

And let me feel it!

If i don't feel it,
i can't get past it.

Don't you see that?

Have you cried,
mr. O'hara?

No.

Not even alone?

I was trying to
be strong for you.

For us. What?

Now i'm a goddamn unfeeling
monster, right?

Do you know how many men
leave their wives

When they--

Your anger's understandable.

You've lost the health
of your wife, her body.

Even with implants
and a reconstruction,

You'll never get back
what you lost.

I am angry.

My whole life...

all of our dreams,
they just--Just blew up

The day she came home
and told me.

I want--
I want my wife back.

Mr. O'hara, our staff
psychologist dr. Santiago

Can recommend
a counseling source.

And, mrs. O'hara,
i can recommend a date

For a second consultation.

Melanie, hi.
Christian troy.

I know it's been 6 months--

2 weeks--

A year since we broke up,

But i'm just calling
to talk about

How it ended between us.

So, penny...jenny...

uh, call me back
so we can catch up.

I really would like
to be friends,

And i hope you're well.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Hey, asshole.
How's tricks?

I'm sure there's been
at least a dozen

Since you kicked me
to the curb last week.

Gina, i'd know that
bitter tone anywhere.

How are you, sweetheart?

Hey, if you're calling to
tell me you have genital herpes,

Spare the drama.

I've already got 'em.

I got infected 2 years ago.

You do?

Nah, i'm clean, prick.
What do you want?

Look, i've been doing some
real soul-Searching lately,

And--

Oh, the 12-Step
bootie call's

Not gonna work with me,
christian.

Fool me once.

That's not why
i'm calling.

Sexaholics anonymous meetings
are all over town

If that's what
you're looking for.

Just stay away
from 64th and collins.

That's mine.

Boy, you're a really
angry girl, gina.

Maybe angry enough
to trash a car?

Oh, we got vandalized,
did we?

That's called karma,
christian.

You got a shit load
of bad stuff coming.

How does that feel, huh?

Being violated?

Are you afraid?

Do it again, i'll
have you arrested.

Eat shit and die, asshole.

[Telephone rings]

Listen,
you crazy bitch--

Woman: you sweet-Talker, you.

Who is this?

It's kimber.

Kimber henry?

You fixed my tits,

You gave me a nose job
3 months ago.

You just called me.

Oh, right.

Kimber, how are you?

Great, how are you?

Couldn't be better.

Look, uh, thanks for
returning my message.

I was thinking
of you, too.

I was gonna
give you a call.

Why?

If you wanna find out,
meet me tomorrow

At mascara studios.

* so you wanna play games *

* you're thinking that... *

Whoa! Hey,
that's her bad side.

Do not shoot her bad side.

* and you think my bark
is worse than my bite *

Man: all right,
take 20, everyone!

Christian!

I'm so glad you're here.

Isn't this cool?

I booked my first cover.

Ocean drive magazine.

And, in a way,
you're responsible.

Look at you, sweetheart.

You're an 11.

Kimmie, back off.

You're getting body makeup
all over this man's suit.

Nico scamarel.

Dr. Christian troy.

Dr. Troy!

The man with
the golden knife.

I told her, sure,
have him drop by.

Why not?

We'll talk about
a return visit.

Nico's my manager.

And my fiance.

Is she something or what?

After this, we're going
after the fronts

Of all the big books.

Vogue, cigar aficionado.

But as i was telling kimmie
yesterday,

First we gotta
lift that ass.

Look.

One professional to another,
it could be higher, right?

Honey, the craft
service table,

It's total carb hell.

Could you look into
some veggies

Or low-Fat protein
or something?

Think about giving us
a special price, doctor.

She's walking advertising.

Nice.

Unlike some people i know.

I had that coming.

So, i know why
i called you.

Why'd you call me?

Is there a problem with
my insurance or something?

No problem. It's just
that lately i've been...

i've been doing some real
soul-Searching, and...

i treated you like shit.

You deserved better.

You still
deserve better.

You're right, i do.

Any ideas?

Dinner sounds great, kimber.

Have the doorman let you in.
He has a key.

Ok, baby.

I'll see you at 8:00.

I knew it was you!

Get your goddamn hands
off me.

What is this, huh?
What is this?

It's a present.

I was just getting ready to
leave it under your wipers,

Asshole.

Yeah, i was actually
feeling guilty

About telling you not
to come to the meetings.

What else is
in the purse, gina?

Oh, i don't know,
christian.

Mace, altoids...

maybe some spray paint.

Nice graffiti.

Very accurate.

I'm getting it fixed
tomorrow morning.

I'm sending you
the bill.

And them i'm putting out
a restraining order.

Oh, really? Wow.

Actually, i think that's
gonna be a little difficult

Seeing as you don't even know
my goddamn name!

What is my last name,
asshole? Huh?!

You never even asked me.

Not even after you screwed me.

The police are gonna have
a very hard time

Bringing me to heel
if they don't know my name.

Now, don't you wish you'd
gotten to know me better?

Huh? Aah!

[Car alarm wailing]

Trash my goddamn car
one more time,

And i will trash you!

I'm a plastic surgeon!

I know just which bones
to break

To make you an ugly,
sorry, girl!

Are we clear?!

[Car alarm stops]

It's not gonna stop,
christian!

It's not gonna stop
till you change your life!

Ok, candles.

Check.

Condoms?

Check.

Lubricant?

Is strawberry-Flavored ok?
That's all they had.

Ridley's vegan.
That's great.

You know, vanessa...

this isn't just
about ridley.

What do you want?

I just want her to love me.

That's all.

Is all this effort
worth it?

You tell me, matt.

Is all this pain
worth it to you?

Pain? I'm--

I'm a guy about
to have a 3-Way.

Look...

i know you think
maybe this is a way

For us to
be together, matt.

But i have to be honest
with you.

It's not.

You can never have me
the way that ridley can.

I love you...
as a friend.

But that's it.

Well, that's fine.

I feel the same way.

I told you,
i'm just the guy

Who's helping a girl out
in trouble.

God, matt...

if only you were a girl.

Mm.

Yeah.

This gives you
a "b" cup.

Can i, um--

Please, pick it up.

Check the weight,
the consistency.

That's what this consult
is for.

I think i'll try
the "c" cup.

I've always wanted
to wear a tube top.

Seems like just yesterday

We were shooting raw silicone
into women.

My, how far we've come.

[Sighs]

We don't have
to do this today.

I'm on your
timetable here.

I'm fine.

It's nothing you haven't
seen before, right?

What do they say, one out of
every 5 women goes through this?

That's right.

You had
an excellent surgeon.

This is very clean work.

I won't need to do
any skin grafts.

You're a great candidate
for this surgery.

What about nipples?

We work with a great
tattoo artist.

Tattoos?

They're just drawn on?

With the correct
shadings

And colorations,

They look like
the real thing.

Don't for one second
feel ashamed

About these scars
on your chest.

You're just wearing
on the outside

What the rest of us wear
on the inside.

I like your style,
dr. Mcnamara.

You're very brave.

Hmm...

these consultations can
be difficult, i know.

You're the brave one.

I meant how you talked
to my husband the other day.

How you talked to him
about pain.

Have you had cancer?

No.

You know a lot about loss.

My wife miscarried
recently.

I know what it's like
to be a man

And not let
yourself...feel.

I just wanted
your husband to know

He has to take action

If he's gonna
get through it.

Did you take action?

I'm getting a vasectomy.

I guess i'll take
the "b" cup.

Christian troy's office?

I'll find it.

* where do i begin *

* to tell the story *

* of how great
a love can be... *

How are we doing today,
miss berger?

It hurts.

Are you getting enough
pain medication?

This is my medication.

[Glass shatters]

* where do i start? *

Hey, have you seen christian?

Get the hell out of
this office right now!

Gimme just a minute.

I love her, man,
and you don't.

She is my life.

What the hell
happened here?

He trashed your office
with a baseball bat.

So i guess we found
your vandal.

He's not the one.
I found the person

That was doing this
to my car.

This is--

Just another happy
coincidence?

You gonna
press charges?

No.

Who the hell
was that guy?

He's the fiance
of a former patient.

So why did he
come in here?

Did he hate her nose job?

He hated the fact
that i slept with her.

When?

Last night.

This has got
to stop, christian.

You don't shit where you
eat. I'm not gonna toler--

It's none of
your business, sean.

Be a goddamned
professional!

You don't see me
acting that way.

You don't see grace
acting that way.

Excuse me.

If it happens again--

What are you
gonna do, dad?!

Dock my paycheck?

If it happens again,
someone could get hurt.

Would that make it stop?

Would that get your
attention, christian?

I can't see you anymore.

I don't understand.

Am i moving too fast
cooking for you?

No.

You can't let
that nico thing

Make you upset, honey.

You know how hotheaded
latin men are.

I have to put my life
back on track.

I can't sleep
with patients anymore.

Sean's right.

You don't shit
where you eat.

I am not shit.

I'm the shit,
sweetheart.

You are sweet and trusting
and kind and...i'm the shit.

I don't believe this.

When my clothes were off,

You said i was
your soul mate.

I'm not gonna be your victim
this time, christian.

You do the dishes.

You missed out
on a good thing.

Isn't this supposed
to be fun?

I'm having fun.

Aren't you, matt?

Hmm? Um, oh, yeah,
totally.

Uh, so how do we
launch this?

I guess one of us has to
start the underwear pile.

God, you guys are
such pussies.

I told you
she was beautiful.

Vanessa...
come here, baby.

Up.

Matt...

help me with her bra.

You have to be invited.

This is about us.

Take off your clothes,
matthew.

Everything.

Are you upset with me?

Of course not.

It's your body,
it's your decision.

Did you and your husband--

I made the decision
by myself this morning...

right before i told jim
i was leaving him.

Many marriages don't
survive cancer.

You're not alone.

There's a big hole
in our marriage now

That can never be repaired,
and we both know that.

We just had to finally be...

honest.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, me, too.

But i'm oddly hopeful
now, too.

Why is that?

Jim doesn't see me
as whole anymore.

I thought maybe
no one could,

But you did yesterday
during my exam,

And i thank god
for that moment.

If i may share a lesson
recently learned?

Don't make the mistake of
healing the internal problem

With an external fix.

This day's been tough.

I'm gonna go get blotto
on a mojito.

A double.

Thank you, dr. Mcnamara,
for everything.

Maybe you'd like to join me?

I'm sorry.

We have a policy here

That we don't see
patients socially...

but i am allowed
to walk you to your car.

* nothing natural *

* could come between *

* enamored mortals
such as we *

* the winds may blow us
far apart *

* but nothing will undo *

* our hearts *

* no matter how far
i wander *

* what stars i'm under *

* i'll always come back to you *

* nothing natural *

* could turn the tide *

* that washes over *

* both our lives... *

What?

Nothing. I just want
to kiss you.

I kiss you all the time.

* ...becomes of us *

* no matter how far i tumble *

* what spell i'm under *

* i'll always come back to *

* to you *

* to you... *

You thanked me earlier.

Actually, i'm the one
who should thank you.

I'm not normally the one
with the bedside manner.

That's usually my partner...

but when i was treating you,

I felt like a healer again.

It was very nice, megan.

Well, you're a very
nice man, dr. Mcnamara.

Sean.

Out of the lab coat,
i'm just sean.

Good-Bye, megan.

Good-Bye, sean.

[Knock on door]

Who died?

It's recently been
brought to my attention

That crossing the
patient/doctor boundary line

Is not that uncommon
after all.

You're the patient i want
to take that chance with.

* where do i begin *

* to tell the story of
how great a love can be? *

* the sweet love story
that is older than the sea *

* a simple truth about
the love he brings to me *

Man: bliss?

* where do i start? *

I'm isaac.

Wh--What?!