Nighty Night (2004–2005): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript
(Phone)
(Rings, then bleeps)
(Don) Darling, it's me. Please pick up. I...
I don't understand
why you've locked me out. This is...
There we are, Cath.
- Nice piping hot cappuccino.
- Oh, lovely.
Ooh, that is lovely.
Oh, that is nice.
- Oh, Jill...
- That's nice.
How could Don do it to me?
Walking around with another woman's...
split pants in his pocket.
What sort of women
wears things like that?
Oh, Cathy...
I would say quite a sexy lady...
who clearly likes to feel
the wind beneath her wings.
I can't bear it.
If he's having another affair,
well, that's it, our marriage is over.
Oh, Jill... what if it's Sandra?
Come on, Cath,
let's have a talk to the Tarot.
Oh, that is a wonderful card, Cathy.
This speaks of a very special lady, OK?
Single lady, really quite attractive,
helping you to heal your life.
Anybody spring to mind?
- Could be my...
- I think you'll find it's me, Cath.
- Right.
- Sadly, Cathy,
what's undermining this card
is the Nine of Batons.
Look at him.
Quite angry in his little boots, isn't he?
Perhaps his headscarf's too tight
for him.
What I would say to you, Cathy,
about the Nine of Batons
is please will you avoid
being around wood?
OK? Or anything too woody.
- OK.
- Another card, please.
- (Bang outside)
- Ohh!
- What was that? Did you hear it?
- That banging? I didn't.
Another card, please.
- Oh, dear God, it's the Devil.
- What does that mean?
Cathy, I can't pretend that's a good card
but it doesn't mean death.
Whereas that does.
But back to the Devil, Cathy.
- Oh, God, it's Sandra!
- Oh, Cathy.
She is stunning, Cathy, isn't she?
She is gorgeous, Cath.
- What does she do?
- I don't know. She was a model.
- Huge chest.
- Model, was she? Was she foreign?
Scottish. Smoked like a chimney.
Hug for Jill.
(Window opening)
d Let me be your fantasy
d Let me be your fantasy, ye-eah d
Oh, hiya. You must be David.
- Yeah.
- Hi, David, I'm Jill.
- Hi.
- I'm a friend of Mummy and Daddy's.
Are you home from school
or are you on half-term holi? Yeah.
Aww. I'm just looking after Mummy
for a bit.
(d Stardust: Music Feels Better With You)
Oh, I love this one, David.
Mummy says you're in a band, Dave.
Yeah? What you called?
Slam.
(Radio) d ... it's so right
as we dance by the moonlight
d Can't you see you're my delight... d
Hi, David. How are things at... er... school?
- Oh, Jill.
- Hi.
- You, er, stayed the night last night?
- Yeah.
Cath asked me to. Have a seat, Don.
I've made you some brekky.
- So you did.
- Sit down.
Right, mm.
It's a treat to have some meat.
- Tuck in, Don.
- Yeah.
- Looks lovely.
- (Jill sighs contentedly)
- Is Catherine OK?
- She just needs a bit of space, Don.
Well, I... I stayed the night in the car.
Aw.
- Jill.
- Oh, hi. Sorry, bit late for breakfast.
I put everything away. I packed you two
cheesy bagels, put 'em in your briefcase.
Right, I suppose I'd better
get on with this little lot.
- There's no need to do the washing.
- I don't mind. Soldier me way through it.
These are very dirty, Cath.
Honestly, there's no need to...
- Do you want me to try and?
- No, really. I only use those for dusting.
I wouldn't wanna wipe
those kind of stains around the place.
Jill...
could you get Catherine to give me
a ring? I think we need to talk.
I'll do my best, Don.
I got you a Wagon Wheel for break-time.
Bye, Don.
(Phone)
Bye.
Hello?
Cathy's not available at present.
Can I take a message?
Sorry, I won't remember all that.
- Who was that, Jill?
- Um... lady for Don.
Scottish. Hacking cough.
Morning, Dr Wivel. I bet you feel like
you're back home this weather.
Mrs Tyrrell, you're quite early.
I'm seeing you and Terry at two.
We'll discharge him then. Just seen the
scan. Almost no remains of the tumour.
Praise be.
- Jill?
- Hurry up, Terry.
- What?
- I've just seen Dr Wivel.
Your tumour is approaching a pumpkin.
It's gone off the sides of the X- ray.
There is nothing more they can do for
you and they want the bed back. Now.
Get dressed, please, Terry.
Terry!
OK.
Oh... that's a blow. I was feeling better.
- It is a blow, Terry, it's a big blow.
- Well, why didn't Dr Wivel tell me?
In Dr Wivel's culture, they tell you what
you wanna hear. Look at Bob Marley.
Please get dressed.
I've booked you in at St Willoughby's
Hospice, all right? It is a private one.
Quite pricey
but you'll be properly cared for.
- I've booked two weeks.
- Two weeks?
- With a third week option.
- Ohh.
'Scuse me.
- Has Dr Wivel seen Terry?
- Yes, thank you.
All set?
- I can't believe it.
- We're all just delighted you're going.
Really?
That's to, er, put the house in my name.
What for? You're not moving, are you?
Crippled lady and her husband
are desperate for me to move in.
I don't want to let them down.
And that... is your will.
Will? I've already made one.
Yeah, that's when you were alive, Terry.
I am alive, Jill.
Actually... I've been thinking
about donating organs.
That is sweet, Terry,
but from what Dr Wivel said,
there's not a lot they'll be able to use.
I could put eyes, ears and nose down
if you're desperate.
Not a pretty sight.
Terry, I'm just a bit hungover.
(Outside door opens)
Darling?
Hiya, Cath.
- Do you wanna give me a hand, Cath?
- Are you staying tonight as well, Jill?
I can't bear to leave you, Cathy,
the state you're in at the moment.
Blessed be the peacemakers.
Well, yes, I don't really feel like
I know Don at the moment, but...
I think we just need to talk.
God, he's really messed with your head,
ain't he? It's these bloody doctors.
Shipman, Crippen.
- Fred West.
- He was a builder, Jill.
Do you call what he did
to those women building, Cath?
(Guitar strumming)
Hiya, Dave.
How's you, Dave?
- Is this one of your tracks?
- Mm-hm.
Yeah? What, from your band Slam?
- Uh-huh.
- What's it called?
- Doesn't have a name at the moment.
- Really?
Have you got a girlfriend or anything?
- The name of the song?
- That could be the name.
- I meant, have you... got a girlfriend?
- Oh, no, no.
- What sort of girls do you like, Dave?
- Um...
- Brunettes.
- Right.
I'm naturally a brunette
but I dye it blonde.
Oh.
But you could be writing a love song or
something to a sort of slightly older lady.
- Do you want some help with lyrics?
- Um...
Y-Yeah, OK.
It goes like this.
d Yeah
d I was walkin' down the street
d When I saw your face
d I was jumping in my head
d Then I came to a different place
d Dave, Dave
d Dave
d Rockin' with me
d Dave
d Whooo! Dave
d Whooo! Dave! Yeah! d
- Something like that?
- That's great.
(Sighs) I'm quite tired, Dave.
- Busy day?
- Yeah, busy day.
Perhaps you wanna pop
your guitar down
and sit down with your Auntie Jill.
OK.
(Sighs loudly)
I like your hair, Dave.
Do you blow-dry it?
No.
(Sighs) Quite hot in here, innit?
Might have to take off...
a couple of things.
Oh.
Oh. Sorry, Jill.
Hello, Cath. I was thinking, Cathy.
Maybe you should go away for a bit.
Give Don a bit of space.
Um... I think probably I'll just stick around
and sort it out.
Sorry, Jill, I...
I think that might be my toothbrush.
- I've forgotten mine, Cath.
- Oh. Right, right.
Probably not a great idea
to share toothbrushes
just cos of things like gingivitis.
It's all right, Cathy, I've already got that.
'Scuse me, I haven't finished.
Just having a break.
Oh, oh, yeah, fine.
Night, then, Jill.
Night, Don.
Will you be all right downstairs?
- Well, it's not ideal.
- No.
No, right.
Good night.
(Rapid, heavy breathing)
(Deeper, more intense breathing)
We'II, er, probably go to sleep now, Jill,
so...
Night.
Catherine?
Is this about Gina?
It's just been a...
few drinks and some banter.
No?
Is it Sue?
She does have a certain...
But for goodness' sake,
men love big breasts, Catherine.
My mother's were, as you know, huge.
Fiona's were astonishing
in the early years.
But the point is that yours are... fine,
Catherine.
Please, I can't bear the silence.
Hiya, Cath!
Jill, what are you doing?!
I had a nasty dream, Cathy.
But, Jill, you...
Jill... I can feel you're not wearing
any pants.
I never wear pants after six o'clock, Cath.
Um...
l-I'm afraid... um...
you can't really sleep in here.
Ever since Terry died,
I have terrible nightmares, Don.
Um... Jill...
Catherine really needs her sleep.
Aw, poor Cathy.
Hug for Jill.
(Cathy whimpers)
- (Knock at door)
- Who is it, please?
- It's me.
- Oh, hiya, Cath. All right?
I thought the best thing would be
if I move up here,
then you've got the bed downstairs,
then you don't have to climb
bloody Kiliman-giro every night.
I just thought I'd put a few knick-knacks
about the place to make it more homely.
Um... Jill, there's only one bed.
Oh, we'll work something out, Cath.
There we are. I took down that picture
of the tomatoes. Hope you don't mind.
What? Oh, the apples.
I'm not a professional.
It was just a present to Don. Silly.
He suggested I took that down.
Did he?
I had a little bit of a clear-out, as well.
Just send some stuff off to charity.
- Generous of you.
- I do try to be a good Christian, Cath.
Jill...
these are my clothes.
Yeah, well, be honest, Cath,
given your lifestyle,
you could get by with a dressing gown
and a zippy slipper.
But l-I like to be feminine, you know.
What about the starving ladies
of Africa, Cathy?
Yes, well... we do have far too much
in the West.
(Tuts)
Having said that, Cath,
I could probably get a little bit of wear
out of those, just for going out.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, no!
- Oh, Cath.
- (Tuts)
- What am I going to do?
Oh, God, Cathy.
Oh, Cath.
Whatever you do, Cathy,
don't see him when you're in this rage.
I suggest you go out, Cath,
and you come back in a couple of hours,
or tomorrow morning,
and talk it through calmly.
It's my hen night tonight, Joy.
Wanna come?
Well, I'd like to,
but the only thing is that I...
(Linda) I'm having curry. I'm having
chicken masala, lamb pasanda, cider...
Please don't tell her I was late.
Please don't tell her.
Morning, Joy. Morning, Linda.
Morning, Jill.
Jill, I was late. 20 minutes.
- It's going in the book, Linda.
- Thank you.
Now, I am not a malicious woman, Linda,
and I will strike down the first person
that says that I am.
- But I will have to dock your wages.
- Thank you.
I'll only dock half a day
so you'll still go home ?5 richer.
Thank you, Jill.
It's my hen night. Do you wanna come?
Jill, yesterday's customer - not happy.
Everybody, please!
I am not an octopus.
- That's stunning.
- The cut is a lot shorter than I wanted.
Right. Unfortunately, the nature of
cutting is to lessen what's there.
Who did this, please?
- You did.
- OK, just shrug for me, please.
See, it's all about posture, OK?
How can I know or Joy or Linda,
when a client comes in,
where he naturally carries his shoulders?
I don't know if you were feeling
particularly nonchalant, Mr Bovey,
- or tense when you come in...
- Mrs Bovey.
You will appreciate
I am very freshly bereaved.
- Wanna come to my hen night?
- Go to the cupboard.
Get some shoulder pads
and see if that doesn't make a difference.
Perhaps you would like to make
a contribution to my husband's memory.
(d Romantic big band)
- How's that water temperature for you?
- (Crashing)
Joy... can you see to my fallen lady,
please?
It's too hot, actually.
Is it? Unfortunately, that's all we've
got to work with with this thermostat.
- Is that really burnin'?
- Yeah!
Oh, dear.
Did you do this, Mr Bovey?
I think we need an ambulance.
- Has she paid?
- No.
It'll be about ?40. She had the Blackberry
gloss, the club cut, the big booster blow.
Get her purse, Linda.
Hello?
Hello... Hello?
- She's only got a 50.
- That'll be the tip.
♪50 tip♪
(Don) Catherine?
Darling?
(d Belouis Some: Imagination)
d She lit a cigarette
both hands behind her back... d
Hiya, Don.
I done some Beef Wellington.
God, you... er... you look so... different.
- Do I?
- Just done my hair a bit different.
No, I mean, it looks a-amazing.
God, it... really suits you, that... Iook.
Follow me, please.
Sit, Don.
Thank you.
Don't let your Welly go cold, Don.
Where's Catherine?
Gone out.
God, she is moody.
I expect that's why you had the affair.
- How do you know about that?
- I just sensed it.
I think your Wellington's slightly bigger
than mine. Do you mind just...
Thank you.
So, what sort of man
do you think would want me, Don?
If I ever do get over Terry's death.
Well, I, um...
Slim, vibrant lady in her mid-twenties
with a lust for life and a flexible spine.
Look, Don.
Can you help me up, please, Don?
I just need a bit of support.
What the hell is going on?
Jill... what have you done to yourself?
Oh, dear God.
It's Jill, isn't it?
You're having an affair with Jill.
For God's sake,
I'm not having a bloody affair!
But if I do,
it'll be because you've driven me to it.
Don... Oh, buckings!
Don! Don!
(Pop!)
Thank you, Cath.
(Rings, then bleeps)
(Don) Darling, it's me. Please pick up. I...
I don't understand
why you've locked me out. This is...
There we are, Cath.
- Nice piping hot cappuccino.
- Oh, lovely.
Ooh, that is lovely.
Oh, that is nice.
- Oh, Jill...
- That's nice.
How could Don do it to me?
Walking around with another woman's...
split pants in his pocket.
What sort of women
wears things like that?
Oh, Cathy...
I would say quite a sexy lady...
who clearly likes to feel
the wind beneath her wings.
I can't bear it.
If he's having another affair,
well, that's it, our marriage is over.
Oh, Jill... what if it's Sandra?
Come on, Cath,
let's have a talk to the Tarot.
Oh, that is a wonderful card, Cathy.
This speaks of a very special lady, OK?
Single lady, really quite attractive,
helping you to heal your life.
Anybody spring to mind?
- Could be my...
- I think you'll find it's me, Cath.
- Right.
- Sadly, Cathy,
what's undermining this card
is the Nine of Batons.
Look at him.
Quite angry in his little boots, isn't he?
Perhaps his headscarf's too tight
for him.
What I would say to you, Cathy,
about the Nine of Batons
is please will you avoid
being around wood?
OK? Or anything too woody.
- OK.
- Another card, please.
- (Bang outside)
- Ohh!
- What was that? Did you hear it?
- That banging? I didn't.
Another card, please.
- Oh, dear God, it's the Devil.
- What does that mean?
Cathy, I can't pretend that's a good card
but it doesn't mean death.
Whereas that does.
But back to the Devil, Cathy.
- Oh, God, it's Sandra!
- Oh, Cathy.
She is stunning, Cathy, isn't she?
She is gorgeous, Cath.
- What does she do?
- I don't know. She was a model.
- Huge chest.
- Model, was she? Was she foreign?
Scottish. Smoked like a chimney.
Hug for Jill.
(Window opening)
d Let me be your fantasy
d Let me be your fantasy, ye-eah d
Oh, hiya. You must be David.
- Yeah.
- Hi, David, I'm Jill.
- Hi.
- I'm a friend of Mummy and Daddy's.
Are you home from school
or are you on half-term holi? Yeah.
Aww. I'm just looking after Mummy
for a bit.
(d Stardust: Music Feels Better With You)
Oh, I love this one, David.
Mummy says you're in a band, Dave.
Yeah? What you called?
Slam.
(Radio) d ... it's so right
as we dance by the moonlight
d Can't you see you're my delight... d
Hi, David. How are things at... er... school?
- Oh, Jill.
- Hi.
- You, er, stayed the night last night?
- Yeah.
Cath asked me to. Have a seat, Don.
I've made you some brekky.
- So you did.
- Sit down.
Right, mm.
It's a treat to have some meat.
- Tuck in, Don.
- Yeah.
- Looks lovely.
- (Jill sighs contentedly)
- Is Catherine OK?
- She just needs a bit of space, Don.
Well, I... I stayed the night in the car.
Aw.
- Jill.
- Oh, hi. Sorry, bit late for breakfast.
I put everything away. I packed you two
cheesy bagels, put 'em in your briefcase.
Right, I suppose I'd better
get on with this little lot.
- There's no need to do the washing.
- I don't mind. Soldier me way through it.
These are very dirty, Cath.
Honestly, there's no need to...
- Do you want me to try and?
- No, really. I only use those for dusting.
I wouldn't wanna wipe
those kind of stains around the place.
Jill...
could you get Catherine to give me
a ring? I think we need to talk.
I'll do my best, Don.
I got you a Wagon Wheel for break-time.
Bye, Don.
(Phone)
Bye.
Hello?
Cathy's not available at present.
Can I take a message?
Sorry, I won't remember all that.
- Who was that, Jill?
- Um... lady for Don.
Scottish. Hacking cough.
Morning, Dr Wivel. I bet you feel like
you're back home this weather.
Mrs Tyrrell, you're quite early.
I'm seeing you and Terry at two.
We'll discharge him then. Just seen the
scan. Almost no remains of the tumour.
Praise be.
- Jill?
- Hurry up, Terry.
- What?
- I've just seen Dr Wivel.
Your tumour is approaching a pumpkin.
It's gone off the sides of the X- ray.
There is nothing more they can do for
you and they want the bed back. Now.
Get dressed, please, Terry.
Terry!
OK.
Oh... that's a blow. I was feeling better.
- It is a blow, Terry, it's a big blow.
- Well, why didn't Dr Wivel tell me?
In Dr Wivel's culture, they tell you what
you wanna hear. Look at Bob Marley.
Please get dressed.
I've booked you in at St Willoughby's
Hospice, all right? It is a private one.
Quite pricey
but you'll be properly cared for.
- I've booked two weeks.
- Two weeks?
- With a third week option.
- Ohh.
'Scuse me.
- Has Dr Wivel seen Terry?
- Yes, thank you.
All set?
- I can't believe it.
- We're all just delighted you're going.
Really?
That's to, er, put the house in my name.
What for? You're not moving, are you?
Crippled lady and her husband
are desperate for me to move in.
I don't want to let them down.
And that... is your will.
Will? I've already made one.
Yeah, that's when you were alive, Terry.
I am alive, Jill.
Actually... I've been thinking
about donating organs.
That is sweet, Terry,
but from what Dr Wivel said,
there's not a lot they'll be able to use.
I could put eyes, ears and nose down
if you're desperate.
Not a pretty sight.
Terry, I'm just a bit hungover.
(Outside door opens)
Darling?
Hiya, Cath.
- Do you wanna give me a hand, Cath?
- Are you staying tonight as well, Jill?
I can't bear to leave you, Cathy,
the state you're in at the moment.
Blessed be the peacemakers.
Well, yes, I don't really feel like
I know Don at the moment, but...
I think we just need to talk.
God, he's really messed with your head,
ain't he? It's these bloody doctors.
Shipman, Crippen.
- Fred West.
- He was a builder, Jill.
Do you call what he did
to those women building, Cath?
(Guitar strumming)
Hiya, Dave.
How's you, Dave?
- Is this one of your tracks?
- Mm-hm.
Yeah? What, from your band Slam?
- Uh-huh.
- What's it called?
- Doesn't have a name at the moment.
- Really?
Have you got a girlfriend or anything?
- The name of the song?
- That could be the name.
- I meant, have you... got a girlfriend?
- Oh, no, no.
- What sort of girls do you like, Dave?
- Um...
- Brunettes.
- Right.
I'm naturally a brunette
but I dye it blonde.
Oh.
But you could be writing a love song or
something to a sort of slightly older lady.
- Do you want some help with lyrics?
- Um...
Y-Yeah, OK.
It goes like this.
d Yeah
d I was walkin' down the street
d When I saw your face
d I was jumping in my head
d Then I came to a different place
d Dave, Dave
d Dave
d Rockin' with me
d Dave
d Whooo! Dave
d Whooo! Dave! Yeah! d
- Something like that?
- That's great.
(Sighs) I'm quite tired, Dave.
- Busy day?
- Yeah, busy day.
Perhaps you wanna pop
your guitar down
and sit down with your Auntie Jill.
OK.
(Sighs loudly)
I like your hair, Dave.
Do you blow-dry it?
No.
(Sighs) Quite hot in here, innit?
Might have to take off...
a couple of things.
Oh.
Oh. Sorry, Jill.
Hello, Cath. I was thinking, Cathy.
Maybe you should go away for a bit.
Give Don a bit of space.
Um... I think probably I'll just stick around
and sort it out.
Sorry, Jill, I...
I think that might be my toothbrush.
- I've forgotten mine, Cath.
- Oh. Right, right.
Probably not a great idea
to share toothbrushes
just cos of things like gingivitis.
It's all right, Cathy, I've already got that.
'Scuse me, I haven't finished.
Just having a break.
Oh, oh, yeah, fine.
Night, then, Jill.
Night, Don.
Will you be all right downstairs?
- Well, it's not ideal.
- No.
No, right.
Good night.
(Rapid, heavy breathing)
(Deeper, more intense breathing)
We'II, er, probably go to sleep now, Jill,
so...
Night.
Catherine?
Is this about Gina?
It's just been a...
few drinks and some banter.
No?
Is it Sue?
She does have a certain...
But for goodness' sake,
men love big breasts, Catherine.
My mother's were, as you know, huge.
Fiona's were astonishing
in the early years.
But the point is that yours are... fine,
Catherine.
Please, I can't bear the silence.
Hiya, Cath!
Jill, what are you doing?!
I had a nasty dream, Cathy.
But, Jill, you...
Jill... I can feel you're not wearing
any pants.
I never wear pants after six o'clock, Cath.
Um...
l-I'm afraid... um...
you can't really sleep in here.
Ever since Terry died,
I have terrible nightmares, Don.
Um... Jill...
Catherine really needs her sleep.
Aw, poor Cathy.
Hug for Jill.
(Cathy whimpers)
- (Knock at door)
- Who is it, please?
- It's me.
- Oh, hiya, Cath. All right?
I thought the best thing would be
if I move up here,
then you've got the bed downstairs,
then you don't have to climb
bloody Kiliman-giro every night.
I just thought I'd put a few knick-knacks
about the place to make it more homely.
Um... Jill, there's only one bed.
Oh, we'll work something out, Cath.
There we are. I took down that picture
of the tomatoes. Hope you don't mind.
What? Oh, the apples.
I'm not a professional.
It was just a present to Don. Silly.
He suggested I took that down.
Did he?
I had a little bit of a clear-out, as well.
Just send some stuff off to charity.
- Generous of you.
- I do try to be a good Christian, Cath.
Jill...
these are my clothes.
Yeah, well, be honest, Cath,
given your lifestyle,
you could get by with a dressing gown
and a zippy slipper.
But l-I like to be feminine, you know.
What about the starving ladies
of Africa, Cathy?
Yes, well... we do have far too much
in the West.
(Tuts)
Having said that, Cath,
I could probably get a little bit of wear
out of those, just for going out.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, no!
- Oh, Cath.
- (Tuts)
- What am I going to do?
Oh, God, Cathy.
Oh, Cath.
Whatever you do, Cathy,
don't see him when you're in this rage.
I suggest you go out, Cath,
and you come back in a couple of hours,
or tomorrow morning,
and talk it through calmly.
It's my hen night tonight, Joy.
Wanna come?
Well, I'd like to,
but the only thing is that I...
(Linda) I'm having curry. I'm having
chicken masala, lamb pasanda, cider...
Please don't tell her I was late.
Please don't tell her.
Morning, Joy. Morning, Linda.
Morning, Jill.
Jill, I was late. 20 minutes.
- It's going in the book, Linda.
- Thank you.
Now, I am not a malicious woman, Linda,
and I will strike down the first person
that says that I am.
- But I will have to dock your wages.
- Thank you.
I'll only dock half a day
so you'll still go home ?5 richer.
Thank you, Jill.
It's my hen night. Do you wanna come?
Jill, yesterday's customer - not happy.
Everybody, please!
I am not an octopus.
- That's stunning.
- The cut is a lot shorter than I wanted.
Right. Unfortunately, the nature of
cutting is to lessen what's there.
Who did this, please?
- You did.
- OK, just shrug for me, please.
See, it's all about posture, OK?
How can I know or Joy or Linda,
when a client comes in,
where he naturally carries his shoulders?
I don't know if you were feeling
particularly nonchalant, Mr Bovey,
- or tense when you come in...
- Mrs Bovey.
You will appreciate
I am very freshly bereaved.
- Wanna come to my hen night?
- Go to the cupboard.
Get some shoulder pads
and see if that doesn't make a difference.
Perhaps you would like to make
a contribution to my husband's memory.
(d Romantic big band)
- How's that water temperature for you?
- (Crashing)
Joy... can you see to my fallen lady,
please?
It's too hot, actually.
Is it? Unfortunately, that's all we've
got to work with with this thermostat.
- Is that really burnin'?
- Yeah!
Oh, dear.
Did you do this, Mr Bovey?
I think we need an ambulance.
- Has she paid?
- No.
It'll be about ?40. She had the Blackberry
gloss, the club cut, the big booster blow.
Get her purse, Linda.
Hello?
Hello... Hello?
- She's only got a 50.
- That'll be the tip.
♪50 tip♪
(Don) Catherine?
Darling?
(d Belouis Some: Imagination)
d She lit a cigarette
both hands behind her back... d
Hiya, Don.
I done some Beef Wellington.
God, you... er... you look so... different.
- Do I?
- Just done my hair a bit different.
No, I mean, it looks a-amazing.
God, it... really suits you, that... Iook.
Follow me, please.
Sit, Don.
Thank you.
Don't let your Welly go cold, Don.
Where's Catherine?
Gone out.
God, she is moody.
I expect that's why you had the affair.
- How do you know about that?
- I just sensed it.
I think your Wellington's slightly bigger
than mine. Do you mind just...
Thank you.
So, what sort of man
do you think would want me, Don?
If I ever do get over Terry's death.
Well, I, um...
Slim, vibrant lady in her mid-twenties
with a lust for life and a flexible spine.
Look, Don.
Can you help me up, please, Don?
I just need a bit of support.
What the hell is going on?
Jill... what have you done to yourself?
Oh, dear God.
It's Jill, isn't it?
You're having an affair with Jill.
For God's sake,
I'm not having a bloody affair!
But if I do,
it'll be because you've driven me to it.
Don... Oh, buckings!
Don! Don!
(Pop!)
Thank you, Cath.