Nevsu (2017–2021): Season 2, Episode 7 - Compromises - full transcript
A thief! Jacob, there's a thief!
-Nitza, did you call me?
-There was a thief!
Why didn't you scream or call me?
I did.
I lost my voice from
the horror, the fear.
-Come, come here. Calm down.
-Oh my God.
There's a stranger with a flashlight.
Did he take anything?
Is that what you care about?
Whether he took anything?
I feel so vulnerable in
my own castle, Jacob.
I said we should install bars.
So I can feel like I'm in Neve Tirza?
I feel suffocated here in the
countryside as it is.
Let's go to sleep. We'll talk
about it in the morning.
I'll never be able to fall asleep
in this house again. Never!
Okay, I don't get it.
How hard is it to install
an electric fence around a private house?
So the first cat will be electrocuted,
but the second will learn to be careful.
Fine. Look into it.
Yes, the private drone too.
She hung up. How rude.
-Jacob, who is this?
-It's for you.
-For me?
-Yes. This is Assad.
He's not an Assad. This is
a glorious, powerful dog.
He's Putin.
He's a professional watchdog.
He was in the Border Police.
-He's a retired police officer.
-Jacob. What a great idea.
It's much better than an electric fence.
How did you get him?
Remember Motty, the Border Police officer?
Yes.
I told him about the break-in
and losing your voice.
Yes.
He said I should get a dog
that won't lose its voice.
-So you got a dog to replace me?
-No, I just wanted you to feel safe.
Ma'ayan's going to love
him. I can't wait for her to see him.
-Wow. Oh my God, mommy!
-Daddy!
Climb on top of me. Come on.
They can't climb.
Hey, hey, Gili. It's just a dog.
I know that. Why is it here?
He's guarding the house.
-From whom, me?
-Down! Down! -Here.
You're afraid of dogs?
You're going to keep him here?
My mom won't come over anymore.
-Well, that's good.
-What? Alamito is afraid of dogs too?
Didn't you grow up
in the woods with animals?
Jacob, I'm not Mowgli. I grew up with
a mother and father, and we had dogs,
but we're civilized,
so we kept them outside.
Look, Ma'ayan, he's calm.
That's a good Putin.
Daddy knows nothing about dogs.
-Come and pet him.
-Slowly, honey.
Come and pet him. Come and pet him.
You're making him hysterical.
So it's because of me?
Quit being afraid. He can smell fear.
How can I quit being afraid?
Enough! Quit being afraid right now!
Stop! Why are you all barking at me?
Oh, come on.
The pH has a really intense smell.
Get used to it. That's what
it's going to smell like now.
Let's get out of here.
-What are we going to do?
-He'll get used to it.
He got used to wearing shoes.
He can get used to the dog.
Shmelash…
Yes, my sweet Injera.
I brought you a gift.
What did you bring me?
I didn't get you anything.
You know that I'm a shy woman.
Not true.
You know that I'm too shy to ask.
Also not true.
You know that I'm a God-fearing woman.
Like a virgin who…
No, no, and no.
Never mind. Here.
Oh… a love box.
When one of us wants the other,
they'll open the box,
and the other one'll know.
Wait, wait.
Let's see if it works.
It works. No need for a gift receipt.
Who could that be?
Fundraisers, probably.
Why haven't they given up on me?
I need a sign on the door that says:
"I haven't donated, and I'm not going to".
Shmelash, it's not fundraisers.
It's me, Masganau.
Who is that?
It's worse than fundraisers.
Should I close the box?
No, no. Five minutes. Put it on
hold. I'll get rid of him.
Masganau, is all that yours?
My wife threw me out.
Help me get my stuff in.
What for? Stay outside for now.
Outside? I have my clothes, my Masenqo.
Don't worry. Your wife
will cool off in a couple of days.
You'll be back in no time.
No. She replaced the locks.
This is serious.
She said she was sick of me
playing music all day long.
Honestly, I think she hasn't forgiven me
for giving you her spot in line
for the plane from Sudan.
She still hasn't forgiven you?
She hasn't gotten over it?
She had to stay in Sudan for
two more years because of you,
but I told her that I had no choice.
Shmelash is like a brother to me.
I'd do anything for him.
I see.
I'll make the bed for him.
Close the box. God damn it.
Tell your parents
to get rid of that wolf.
-I was late for work again.
-Why were you late?
Why?
Ma'ayan and I can't get out.
He barks like crazy at us.
Listen, I'm playing with him right now.
It's all in your head. You need
treatment for your fear of dogs.
What fear? I'm not afraid.
That specific dog wants to kill me,
so I'm more alert.
-Just talk to your parents. Bye.
-Bye.
-What a relief.
-What relief?
Gili, I can't believe
you're also afraid of dogs.
-I said that I'm not afraid of dogs.
-Have you ever had a dog?
No way.
No Ethiopian would keep a dog.
If my mom finds out, she won't come over.
You see? My mom is exactly the same.
Why didn't you say that
when you came to Israel?
Why would we say that?
Because there's no greater proof
of Jewish faith than a fear of dogs.
Do you know who doesn't
fear dogs? Our brothers, the Russians.
All right, I see where this is going.
When I heard they got off the plane
and used
their immigration funds to buy dog houses,
I knew they'd be shopping
at the non-kosher supermarket.
I hope you know the trick
for escaping from a dog?
What? Psalms? Shema Israel?
Yes, but that doesn't help.
Listen carefully. When he approaches you,
-you throw your tassel on him.
-You mean
you let him get tangled up?
No, no. Let him smell you.
With dogs it's all about smell.
He smells you, he gets
used to you, he softens.
That buys you time
until God comes to your aid.
I see.
And how long does it generally
take God to get there?
Depends how many dogs are there.
You live in the country, right?
Perhaps you should wear two tassels.
That dog won't go to sleep. Shut up!
Shut up!
I have no choice.
It's not a tassel, but thanks
to you, it's really sweaty.
Smell that.
Shit.
It's like playing strip poker with a dog.
Okay, you want to smell me?
Here.
Thank God I'm not in those clothes.
-Gili?
-Hi, honey. What's up?
I don't know. What's up with you?
Didn't you say you were
leaving work hours ago?
Yes, yes. I'm outside. I just…
Could you come walk me in?
What? Why? Did you forget your keys?
No, I'm in the car waiting
for Assad to fall asleep.
Check to see if he's nodding off.
You scared me.
What? Why are you naked?
Assad ate my clothes.
-He undressed you?
-Undressed me?
I threw my clothes at him as a diversion
so I'd have time to open the door.
And let me tell you, he eats very fast.
-I need bigger pants.
-Okay, Gili. Enough.
No offense, but you need therapy.
This fear is irrational.
No, it's irrational for
humans to live with dogs.
The fact that you're so hysterical
about dogs affects Ma'ayan too.
She didn't go over to Zoey's today
because they have a dachshund.
Smart girl. She knows
dachshunds are dangerous.
They wrap their long bodies
around little kids
And do what?
Lick them to death? Listen,
Shir's mom told me she took her to a
workshop at the Human and Dog Center.
I think you and Ma'ayan should
go too. What do you say?
Right now I need you to get me a robe.
Until you do workshop,
I won't let you leave
the house wearing clothes.
Wait, honey. Come on. Let's discuss this.
Wait a second.
Jacob, wake up. He's here.
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Jacob! Jacob, wake up.
I had a bad dream, a nightmare.
Again with that dream about you
going in the teachers' room naked?
No, that dream where I married an idiot.
What're you doing?
I'm assembling your gun.
It's such an old model,
I can't even find it on Youtube.
But Nitza, guns are dangerous.
It's not a game.
Why take it apart like a puzzle?
Because you're supposed to
store the pieces separately.
-It's safer.
-Safer for whom? The burglar?
It took me forever to find them all.
I hope the next burglar is very patient.
Nitza, come on.
I got you a trained watchdog.
Yeah, but last night I started thinking
that a dog could be
poisoned and put to sleep
-and I had nightmares all night.
-Why didn't you wake me up?
Apparently you
were put to sleep too, Jacob.
Look, Nitza, if you don't feel safe,
you can sign up
for a self-defense course.
I took self-defense course once.
We had to take one
when I was a teacher because of
the special ed students.
It gave me confidence,
but I can't remember any of it.
Then refresh your memory.
Beating people up isn't like
riding a bike.
Then come with me to the class.
What for? I have a gun.
How does that help me?
So when a burglar comes,
I'm supposed to amuse him
until you wake up,
assemble the pieces,
and eventually shoot him?
Sounds good to me.
The good thing about combat
is that it involves
natural, instinctive movements.
I'll give you an example.
Has anyone here ever done
hand-to-hand combat?
Great. Come here, please.
What? Just me?
It was a long time ago. Thirty years.
I hope I remember.
Your body will. Stand in front of me.
Okay.
Great. Look at me, everyone.
I'll start with the basics.
If someone approaches
you in a threatening way,
extends his hand, and invades
your personal…
I guess I do remember.
It's like riding a bicycle.
Nitza, get off me.
I was taught not to let go
until the rescue forces arrive.
I want to talk about what to
do when we're attacked from behind,
by surprise, when we're not entirely
ready, okay? I need another volunteer.
Perhaps someone who
hasn't participated yet?
Okay. Come on, Nitza.
Stand here with your back to me.
Oh, with my back to you. That's scary.
Don't worry. We'll do it slowly.
In a situation where
you're walking down a dark street,
alone, and an attacker
comes from behind…
I give up!
What scares me is coming home
from the market and
getting out of the car
with bags in both hands…
What if someone attacks me?
How can I defend myself?
We can't cover every situation
during the first lesson, okay?
That situation involves
a complicated maneuver.
So I say to the attacker:
"Sorry, it's complicated.
Come back next week after
lesson number two?" I mean…
So you open the car door
-with bags in both hands.
-Yes.
The first thing you do
is free up your hands and…
Stop, Nitza!
What? Did I do it wrong?
You broke my nose.
You broke my nose!
Sorry.
Were you going to take a shower?
I was actually.
Get in, then. There's room.
Would you like to get the drum?
Sorry, Alamito. I'm in a rush.
Is this all laundry?
Do you realize what a nightmare this is?
There's three of us now.
I've always felt bad
about taking Masangau's spot on the plane.
Then perhaps you shouldn't have done it.
How long do you think I should
host him? What is customary?
How long was his wife stuck in Sudan?
Two years.
-About two years then.
-What's with you?
I can't have him here for two years.
It's worse than a refugee camp!
I have to find him a new wife.
But who's going to want that asshole?
What do you think of him?
Doing his laundry and cooking for him
is enough.
I won't go to bed with him too.
There are a lot of couples
who only do two of those things.
Not everyone is like me and Zaudito,
with our love box open all day long.
Quit it. I don't want to
hear about your love box.
I know I've been washing
more bedclothes than I used to.
Hello. We're looking for Masganau.
-And you are?
-His band. We have a rehearsal.
We can finally rehearse at his place.
-Guys! It's up here. On the next floor.
-We're coming, Masangau.
Thank you.
Just so you know,
I won't do their laundry.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Oh God.
-Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Down! Down!
Gili, Ma'ayan. Hey.
Let's calm down. Take a deep breath.
The dog is our friend.
The dog is our friend.
Breathe, breathe, relax, breathe.
What are you drinking?
Oh, no. It's not what you think.
My mom would make for my dad when he
would go to areas where there
were alligators. It's calming.
It's whisky.
-Right. It's from the whisky family.
-No, no, sir.
Put it away, please. It's inappropriate.
Why? It's working, actually.
I feel like dancing with him.
-I feel like hugging him.
-No, no, sir.
Let me make you a good cup of coffee,
and we'll move on to the next stage.
The next stage?
What's the next stage?
Daddy, daddy, is that the dog you said
-can strangle you like a cobra?
-Oh, no. These aren't the cobras.
They only strangle you if
they feel threatened, right?
-No.
-So when do they strangle you?
-They don't.
-Okay.
Let's shake hands. Hello.
Nice to meet you, Gargamel.
I'm Gili. Gili.
Look, Ma'ayan. He's shaking my hand.
He really likes you, huh?
You're right.
Dogs are friends, no matter their size.
Ready for the next stage?
Bring on your biggest dog.
Oh,
I'm not afraid of donkeys.
I grew up with donkeys.
You're not afraid of dogs either.
This is amazing! Amazing.
I feel like a new person.
Say,
do you also treat fear of the tall?
Fear of heights?
No, fear of tall people.
In Ethiopia, everybody was average,
but here, everybody looks down on me.
Shit.
Shut up.
Calm down. Get your heart rate down.
The dog is your friend.
The dog is your friend.
Watch your pulse.
Assad, look what I got you.
Look. I'm your friend.
Putin! Putin!
No, no, don't eat that.
Wake up!
-What happened?
-Putin is being killed.
Record it. I'll watch it tomorrow.
No, Jacob, I'm telling you that
Putin the dog is being poisoned!
-The burglar is back. Get up!
-What?
Get in the shelter.
I'm going to get the gun.
Jacob, what's going on?
Just a minute. I can't find the barrel.
By then there won't be a dog to save.
I found the barrel!
Where's the cartridge?
By the time you find it,
he'll have died of natural causes!
Good dog. That's a good dog.
Gili! Why are you trying to poison Putin?
Poison him? I just gave him some
sausage so he'd let me in.
I did a workshop.
Stop or I'll shoot!
-No!
-Don't shoot, Jacob. It's Gili.
Gili, thank God it's you. Look,
it's falling apart.
What is that?
It's 2:00 AM. Don't they ever get tired?
I feel like they're playing
inside my head.
Can I pour some gypsum in his Masenqo?
I have a better idea. Come with me.
-Where?
-It's a surprise.
What? Where are you taking me this late?
I heard about this guy
who surprised his wife
-by taking her to Ethiopia.
-We're not going to Ethiopia.
So what then? a bed and breakfast?
You have a young mind.
No, Zaudito.
What? Have you no dignity?
In here?
You think I'm a loose
young woman with no parents?
My sweet little Injera,
what else can I do?
It's 2:00 AM, and they're
still playing music.
You've got some nerve. Would you
open a love box in a car in Ethiopia?
If I had had a car in Ethiopia,
I wouldn't have had to take
Masangau's wife's spot.
I could have driven.
I wish I could lock Masangau in this box.
Enough. I'm sick of this! I can't even
be in my own house.
My dad brought Motty over.
You see, Motty? As soon
as he sees them, he goes crazy.
There's something wrong with him.
Maybe it's stress.
Are you crazy? Why didn't you
tell me they're black?
And you're racist?
-I'm not racist. The dog is.
-What?
Get away from him. Go inside.
The dog's from Oz Unit. He was
trained to attack foreign workers.
I told you it was personal!
-Take it away from here!
-I can't. I live in an apartment.
Tell us when the yard
is clear of dogs and racism.
I don't get it. Why would
Nitza get a racist dog?
Isn't she racist enough as it is?
No, she's traumatized by this burglar.
She's afraid of being attacked.
What is she afraid of? She's the
most violent burglar out there.
Look at your face. My poor baby.
The refugee camp in Sudan
was less dangerous.
Alamito, this needs ironing,
Masangau has a show tonight.
And he asked for an
ointment for his foot eczema.
He's so disgusting.
Then why would you bring him here?
I'll go look for an ointment.
Do you think it's fair to ask mom
to take care of Masangau now?
No, it's really annoying.
I wanted to ask you
if you still have that plastic
house in your yard?
We do. What do you need it for?
Masangau.
No, I don't imprison people.
Anyway, I can't go home now either.
Jacob and Nitza got a racist watch dog.
When he sees black people, he loses it.
I need him. He could save me.
Didn't you hear what I just said?
He attacks black people.
You can't get near him.
Nonsense. I'll give him two sleeping
pills, and do whatever I want with him.
That's how your mom gets me
to the dentist.
Otherwise, I would never go.
-Masganau!
-Hey, Shmelash.
I wanted to make sure you're not home.
When will you be back from the concert?
I've decided not to come back, Shmelash.
I miss my wife.
What?
Yeah. Look, I was talking to Zaudito
and she explained
that you're a young couple and
you need your time alone,
and that made me miss my wife.
She's really not that bad.
She did give up her spot for you.
I see.
Thanks for everything.
Bye.
No!
Gili, I'm so sorry.
I heard dogs were color blind.
Who would've thought?
Mom, all dogs can see black and white.
Who brings home a dog if
they don't know where it came from?
Look, kids,
Mom and I have thought about it and
decided that people are age shouldn't be
dealing with dogs, guns, and burglars.
We want to sell the house
and move to an apartment building
with security and cameras.
Don't worry about the security guard.
I'll give him your picture right away.
Wait. What about us?
There are some wonderful new
apartments in New Yahud.
Totally new and untouched.
The rent is 6,000 Shekels per month.
Wait, wait. I think I have an idea.
That's it, Nitza. You can sleep tight now.
No one's going to break in now.
THE CHALACHO FAMILY LIVES HERE
I drew a map
with the route to our village.
Here are the crocodiles.
Don't go near them.
You're sending the kids to see crocodiles?
Nitza, please. He grew up with crocodiles.
Remember, Gili? If a crocodile chases you,
run in a zig zag.
Ethiopia is mud houses
and Shmalash with no shoes.
And look, everyone wearing shoes.
Babe,
I'm the only white person here.
Babe, don't worry.
Everyone's equal here.
No one cares about your color.
Get this. To get arrested here,
I would really have to do something bad.
Sounds like fun, babe,
but let's not.
Oh, she really did it this time.
The gloves are coming off.
-What are you going to do?
-Oh, Elemitu.
I may have lost the battle,
but I haven't lost the war.
Then there was a big boom.
And now there's no electricity.
How could this happen
in a five-star hotel?
Ma'am, it's not a five-star hotel
every day.
What do you mean?
Sometimes it's a five-star,
sometimes it's a four.
Today, I think it's a three.
Wow, this feels so familiar.
It smells like home. What's that smell?
It's the donkey.
Nice to see you.
Hi.
-Wow, you look wonderful tonight.
-Thank you, it's a new overall.
-Nitza, did you call me?
-There was a thief!
Why didn't you scream or call me?
I did.
I lost my voice from
the horror, the fear.
-Come, come here. Calm down.
-Oh my God.
There's a stranger with a flashlight.
Did he take anything?
Is that what you care about?
Whether he took anything?
I feel so vulnerable in
my own castle, Jacob.
I said we should install bars.
So I can feel like I'm in Neve Tirza?
I feel suffocated here in the
countryside as it is.
Let's go to sleep. We'll talk
about it in the morning.
I'll never be able to fall asleep
in this house again. Never!
Okay, I don't get it.
How hard is it to install
an electric fence around a private house?
So the first cat will be electrocuted,
but the second will learn to be careful.
Fine. Look into it.
Yes, the private drone too.
She hung up. How rude.
-Jacob, who is this?
-It's for you.
-For me?
-Yes. This is Assad.
He's not an Assad. This is
a glorious, powerful dog.
He's Putin.
He's a professional watchdog.
He was in the Border Police.
-He's a retired police officer.
-Jacob. What a great idea.
It's much better than an electric fence.
How did you get him?
Remember Motty, the Border Police officer?
Yes.
I told him about the break-in
and losing your voice.
Yes.
He said I should get a dog
that won't lose its voice.
-So you got a dog to replace me?
-No, I just wanted you to feel safe.
Ma'ayan's going to love
him. I can't wait for her to see him.
-Wow. Oh my God, mommy!
-Daddy!
Climb on top of me. Come on.
They can't climb.
Hey, hey, Gili. It's just a dog.
I know that. Why is it here?
He's guarding the house.
-From whom, me?
-Down! Down! -Here.
You're afraid of dogs?
You're going to keep him here?
My mom won't come over anymore.
-Well, that's good.
-What? Alamito is afraid of dogs too?
Didn't you grow up
in the woods with animals?
Jacob, I'm not Mowgli. I grew up with
a mother and father, and we had dogs,
but we're civilized,
so we kept them outside.
Look, Ma'ayan, he's calm.
That's a good Putin.
Daddy knows nothing about dogs.
-Come and pet him.
-Slowly, honey.
Come and pet him. Come and pet him.
You're making him hysterical.
So it's because of me?
Quit being afraid. He can smell fear.
How can I quit being afraid?
Enough! Quit being afraid right now!
Stop! Why are you all barking at me?
Oh, come on.
The pH has a really intense smell.
Get used to it. That's what
it's going to smell like now.
Let's get out of here.
-What are we going to do?
-He'll get used to it.
He got used to wearing shoes.
He can get used to the dog.
Shmelash…
Yes, my sweet Injera.
I brought you a gift.
What did you bring me?
I didn't get you anything.
You know that I'm a shy woman.
Not true.
You know that I'm too shy to ask.
Also not true.
You know that I'm a God-fearing woman.
Like a virgin who…
No, no, and no.
Never mind. Here.
Oh… a love box.
When one of us wants the other,
they'll open the box,
and the other one'll know.
Wait, wait.
Let's see if it works.
It works. No need for a gift receipt.
Who could that be?
Fundraisers, probably.
Why haven't they given up on me?
I need a sign on the door that says:
"I haven't donated, and I'm not going to".
Shmelash, it's not fundraisers.
It's me, Masganau.
Who is that?
It's worse than fundraisers.
Should I close the box?
No, no. Five minutes. Put it on
hold. I'll get rid of him.
Masganau, is all that yours?
My wife threw me out.
Help me get my stuff in.
What for? Stay outside for now.
Outside? I have my clothes, my Masenqo.
Don't worry. Your wife
will cool off in a couple of days.
You'll be back in no time.
No. She replaced the locks.
This is serious.
She said she was sick of me
playing music all day long.
Honestly, I think she hasn't forgiven me
for giving you her spot in line
for the plane from Sudan.
She still hasn't forgiven you?
She hasn't gotten over it?
She had to stay in Sudan for
two more years because of you,
but I told her that I had no choice.
Shmelash is like a brother to me.
I'd do anything for him.
I see.
I'll make the bed for him.
Close the box. God damn it.
Tell your parents
to get rid of that wolf.
-I was late for work again.
-Why were you late?
Why?
Ma'ayan and I can't get out.
He barks like crazy at us.
Listen, I'm playing with him right now.
It's all in your head. You need
treatment for your fear of dogs.
What fear? I'm not afraid.
That specific dog wants to kill me,
so I'm more alert.
-Just talk to your parents. Bye.
-Bye.
-What a relief.
-What relief?
Gili, I can't believe
you're also afraid of dogs.
-I said that I'm not afraid of dogs.
-Have you ever had a dog?
No way.
No Ethiopian would keep a dog.
If my mom finds out, she won't come over.
You see? My mom is exactly the same.
Why didn't you say that
when you came to Israel?
Why would we say that?
Because there's no greater proof
of Jewish faith than a fear of dogs.
Do you know who doesn't
fear dogs? Our brothers, the Russians.
All right, I see where this is going.
When I heard they got off the plane
and used
their immigration funds to buy dog houses,
I knew they'd be shopping
at the non-kosher supermarket.
I hope you know the trick
for escaping from a dog?
What? Psalms? Shema Israel?
Yes, but that doesn't help.
Listen carefully. When he approaches you,
-you throw your tassel on him.
-You mean
you let him get tangled up?
No, no. Let him smell you.
With dogs it's all about smell.
He smells you, he gets
used to you, he softens.
That buys you time
until God comes to your aid.
I see.
And how long does it generally
take God to get there?
Depends how many dogs are there.
You live in the country, right?
Perhaps you should wear two tassels.
That dog won't go to sleep. Shut up!
Shut up!
I have no choice.
It's not a tassel, but thanks
to you, it's really sweaty.
Smell that.
Shit.
It's like playing strip poker with a dog.
Okay, you want to smell me?
Here.
Thank God I'm not in those clothes.
-Gili?
-Hi, honey. What's up?
I don't know. What's up with you?
Didn't you say you were
leaving work hours ago?
Yes, yes. I'm outside. I just…
Could you come walk me in?
What? Why? Did you forget your keys?
No, I'm in the car waiting
for Assad to fall asleep.
Check to see if he's nodding off.
You scared me.
What? Why are you naked?
Assad ate my clothes.
-He undressed you?
-Undressed me?
I threw my clothes at him as a diversion
so I'd have time to open the door.
And let me tell you, he eats very fast.
-I need bigger pants.
-Okay, Gili. Enough.
No offense, but you need therapy.
This fear is irrational.
No, it's irrational for
humans to live with dogs.
The fact that you're so hysterical
about dogs affects Ma'ayan too.
She didn't go over to Zoey's today
because they have a dachshund.
Smart girl. She knows
dachshunds are dangerous.
They wrap their long bodies
around little kids
And do what?
Lick them to death? Listen,
Shir's mom told me she took her to a
workshop at the Human and Dog Center.
I think you and Ma'ayan should
go too. What do you say?
Right now I need you to get me a robe.
Until you do workshop,
I won't let you leave
the house wearing clothes.
Wait, honey. Come on. Let's discuss this.
Wait a second.
Jacob, wake up. He's here.
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Jacob! Jacob, wake up.
I had a bad dream, a nightmare.
Again with that dream about you
going in the teachers' room naked?
No, that dream where I married an idiot.
What're you doing?
I'm assembling your gun.
It's such an old model,
I can't even find it on Youtube.
But Nitza, guns are dangerous.
It's not a game.
Why take it apart like a puzzle?
Because you're supposed to
store the pieces separately.
-It's safer.
-Safer for whom? The burglar?
It took me forever to find them all.
I hope the next burglar is very patient.
Nitza, come on.
I got you a trained watchdog.
Yeah, but last night I started thinking
that a dog could be
poisoned and put to sleep
-and I had nightmares all night.
-Why didn't you wake me up?
Apparently you
were put to sleep too, Jacob.
Look, Nitza, if you don't feel safe,
you can sign up
for a self-defense course.
I took self-defense course once.
We had to take one
when I was a teacher because of
the special ed students.
It gave me confidence,
but I can't remember any of it.
Then refresh your memory.
Beating people up isn't like
riding a bike.
Then come with me to the class.
What for? I have a gun.
How does that help me?
So when a burglar comes,
I'm supposed to amuse him
until you wake up,
assemble the pieces,
and eventually shoot him?
Sounds good to me.
The good thing about combat
is that it involves
natural, instinctive movements.
I'll give you an example.
Has anyone here ever done
hand-to-hand combat?
Great. Come here, please.
What? Just me?
It was a long time ago. Thirty years.
I hope I remember.
Your body will. Stand in front of me.
Okay.
Great. Look at me, everyone.
I'll start with the basics.
If someone approaches
you in a threatening way,
extends his hand, and invades
your personal…
I guess I do remember.
It's like riding a bicycle.
Nitza, get off me.
I was taught not to let go
until the rescue forces arrive.
I want to talk about what to
do when we're attacked from behind,
by surprise, when we're not entirely
ready, okay? I need another volunteer.
Perhaps someone who
hasn't participated yet?
Okay. Come on, Nitza.
Stand here with your back to me.
Oh, with my back to you. That's scary.
Don't worry. We'll do it slowly.
In a situation where
you're walking down a dark street,
alone, and an attacker
comes from behind…
I give up!
What scares me is coming home
from the market and
getting out of the car
with bags in both hands…
What if someone attacks me?
How can I defend myself?
We can't cover every situation
during the first lesson, okay?
That situation involves
a complicated maneuver.
So I say to the attacker:
"Sorry, it's complicated.
Come back next week after
lesson number two?" I mean…
So you open the car door
-with bags in both hands.
-Yes.
The first thing you do
is free up your hands and…
Stop, Nitza!
What? Did I do it wrong?
You broke my nose.
You broke my nose!
Sorry.
Were you going to take a shower?
I was actually.
Get in, then. There's room.
Would you like to get the drum?
Sorry, Alamito. I'm in a rush.
Is this all laundry?
Do you realize what a nightmare this is?
There's three of us now.
I've always felt bad
about taking Masangau's spot on the plane.
Then perhaps you shouldn't have done it.
How long do you think I should
host him? What is customary?
How long was his wife stuck in Sudan?
Two years.
-About two years then.
-What's with you?
I can't have him here for two years.
It's worse than a refugee camp!
I have to find him a new wife.
But who's going to want that asshole?
What do you think of him?
Doing his laundry and cooking for him
is enough.
I won't go to bed with him too.
There are a lot of couples
who only do two of those things.
Not everyone is like me and Zaudito,
with our love box open all day long.
Quit it. I don't want to
hear about your love box.
I know I've been washing
more bedclothes than I used to.
Hello. We're looking for Masganau.
-And you are?
-His band. We have a rehearsal.
We can finally rehearse at his place.
-Guys! It's up here. On the next floor.
-We're coming, Masangau.
Thank you.
Just so you know,
I won't do their laundry.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Oh God.
-Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Down! Down!
Gili, Ma'ayan. Hey.
Let's calm down. Take a deep breath.
The dog is our friend.
The dog is our friend.
Breathe, breathe, relax, breathe.
What are you drinking?
Oh, no. It's not what you think.
My mom would make for my dad when he
would go to areas where there
were alligators. It's calming.
It's whisky.
-Right. It's from the whisky family.
-No, no, sir.
Put it away, please. It's inappropriate.
Why? It's working, actually.
I feel like dancing with him.
-I feel like hugging him.
-No, no, sir.
Let me make you a good cup of coffee,
and we'll move on to the next stage.
The next stage?
What's the next stage?
Daddy, daddy, is that the dog you said
-can strangle you like a cobra?
-Oh, no. These aren't the cobras.
They only strangle you if
they feel threatened, right?
-No.
-So when do they strangle you?
-They don't.
-Okay.
Let's shake hands. Hello.
Nice to meet you, Gargamel.
I'm Gili. Gili.
Look, Ma'ayan. He's shaking my hand.
He really likes you, huh?
You're right.
Dogs are friends, no matter their size.
Ready for the next stage?
Bring on your biggest dog.
Oh,
I'm not afraid of donkeys.
I grew up with donkeys.
You're not afraid of dogs either.
This is amazing! Amazing.
I feel like a new person.
Say,
do you also treat fear of the tall?
Fear of heights?
No, fear of tall people.
In Ethiopia, everybody was average,
but here, everybody looks down on me.
Shit.
Shut up.
Calm down. Get your heart rate down.
The dog is your friend.
The dog is your friend.
Watch your pulse.
Assad, look what I got you.
Look. I'm your friend.
Putin! Putin!
No, no, don't eat that.
Wake up!
-What happened?
-Putin is being killed.
Record it. I'll watch it tomorrow.
No, Jacob, I'm telling you that
Putin the dog is being poisoned!
-The burglar is back. Get up!
-What?
Get in the shelter.
I'm going to get the gun.
Jacob, what's going on?
Just a minute. I can't find the barrel.
By then there won't be a dog to save.
I found the barrel!
Where's the cartridge?
By the time you find it,
he'll have died of natural causes!
Good dog. That's a good dog.
Gili! Why are you trying to poison Putin?
Poison him? I just gave him some
sausage so he'd let me in.
I did a workshop.
Stop or I'll shoot!
-No!
-Don't shoot, Jacob. It's Gili.
Gili, thank God it's you. Look,
it's falling apart.
What is that?
It's 2:00 AM. Don't they ever get tired?
I feel like they're playing
inside my head.
Can I pour some gypsum in his Masenqo?
I have a better idea. Come with me.
-Where?
-It's a surprise.
What? Where are you taking me this late?
I heard about this guy
who surprised his wife
-by taking her to Ethiopia.
-We're not going to Ethiopia.
So what then? a bed and breakfast?
You have a young mind.
No, Zaudito.
What? Have you no dignity?
In here?
You think I'm a loose
young woman with no parents?
My sweet little Injera,
what else can I do?
It's 2:00 AM, and they're
still playing music.
You've got some nerve. Would you
open a love box in a car in Ethiopia?
If I had had a car in Ethiopia,
I wouldn't have had to take
Masangau's wife's spot.
I could have driven.
I wish I could lock Masangau in this box.
Enough. I'm sick of this! I can't even
be in my own house.
My dad brought Motty over.
You see, Motty? As soon
as he sees them, he goes crazy.
There's something wrong with him.
Maybe it's stress.
Are you crazy? Why didn't you
tell me they're black?
And you're racist?
-I'm not racist. The dog is.
-What?
Get away from him. Go inside.
The dog's from Oz Unit. He was
trained to attack foreign workers.
I told you it was personal!
-Take it away from here!
-I can't. I live in an apartment.
Tell us when the yard
is clear of dogs and racism.
I don't get it. Why would
Nitza get a racist dog?
Isn't she racist enough as it is?
No, she's traumatized by this burglar.
She's afraid of being attacked.
What is she afraid of? She's the
most violent burglar out there.
Look at your face. My poor baby.
The refugee camp in Sudan
was less dangerous.
Alamito, this needs ironing,
Masangau has a show tonight.
And he asked for an
ointment for his foot eczema.
He's so disgusting.
Then why would you bring him here?
I'll go look for an ointment.
Do you think it's fair to ask mom
to take care of Masangau now?
No, it's really annoying.
I wanted to ask you
if you still have that plastic
house in your yard?
We do. What do you need it for?
Masangau.
No, I don't imprison people.
Anyway, I can't go home now either.
Jacob and Nitza got a racist watch dog.
When he sees black people, he loses it.
I need him. He could save me.
Didn't you hear what I just said?
He attacks black people.
You can't get near him.
Nonsense. I'll give him two sleeping
pills, and do whatever I want with him.
That's how your mom gets me
to the dentist.
Otherwise, I would never go.
-Masganau!
-Hey, Shmelash.
I wanted to make sure you're not home.
When will you be back from the concert?
I've decided not to come back, Shmelash.
I miss my wife.
What?
Yeah. Look, I was talking to Zaudito
and she explained
that you're a young couple and
you need your time alone,
and that made me miss my wife.
She's really not that bad.
She did give up her spot for you.
I see.
Thanks for everything.
Bye.
No!
Gili, I'm so sorry.
I heard dogs were color blind.
Who would've thought?
Mom, all dogs can see black and white.
Who brings home a dog if
they don't know where it came from?
Look, kids,
Mom and I have thought about it and
decided that people are age shouldn't be
dealing with dogs, guns, and burglars.
We want to sell the house
and move to an apartment building
with security and cameras.
Don't worry about the security guard.
I'll give him your picture right away.
Wait. What about us?
There are some wonderful new
apartments in New Yahud.
Totally new and untouched.
The rent is 6,000 Shekels per month.
Wait, wait. I think I have an idea.
That's it, Nitza. You can sleep tight now.
No one's going to break in now.
THE CHALACHO FAMILY LIVES HERE
I drew a map
with the route to our village.
Here are the crocodiles.
Don't go near them.
You're sending the kids to see crocodiles?
Nitza, please. He grew up with crocodiles.
Remember, Gili? If a crocodile chases you,
run in a zig zag.
Ethiopia is mud houses
and Shmalash with no shoes.
And look, everyone wearing shoes.
Babe,
I'm the only white person here.
Babe, don't worry.
Everyone's equal here.
No one cares about your color.
Get this. To get arrested here,
I would really have to do something bad.
Sounds like fun, babe,
but let's not.
Oh, she really did it this time.
The gloves are coming off.
-What are you going to do?
-Oh, Elemitu.
I may have lost the battle,
but I haven't lost the war.
Then there was a big boom.
And now there's no electricity.
How could this happen
in a five-star hotel?
Ma'am, it's not a five-star hotel
every day.
What do you mean?
Sometimes it's a five-star,
sometimes it's a four.
Today, I think it's a three.
Wow, this feels so familiar.
It smells like home. What's that smell?
It's the donkey.
Nice to see you.
Hi.
-Wow, you look wonderful tonight.
-Thank you, it's a new overall.