Nevsu (2017–2021): Season 2, Episode 1 - Swimming - full transcript
Stephane?
This is so exciting. I have goosebumps.
Stephane, Stephane.
Who's this celebrity?
How would I know?
Probably one of your stars.
-Tahunya, Indel, all those.
-No way.
He's not Ethiopian.
Move over.
Every time another Ethiopian comes in,
you become hostile. Why?
Wait, Stephane, I want
to have a selfie too.
Why are you taking a selfie with him?
Are you from another planet?
He's a singer.
"Comme çi, comme ça"…
So you're a fan?
No, of course not…
-My nephews love him.
-Move over, move over.
-Stephane!
-Stephane. Me too…
Here, I bet you two know
each other, right?
-Gili, Stephane.
-I don't, but nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Aren't you all cousins?
What's with this handshake?
How many kisses do you do?
-Wait, are you from Togo?
-No.
Gili, forget whatever
it is you're doing now.
You stick to Stephane.
We're going to run the best campaign.
Togo into Ethiopa. Great start.
So you actually ate an iguana eye?
Sure. This was Tali's condition
for entering the race:
-I'm the one who eats the gross stuff.
-Well,
she never really was one
for gourmet food.
I guess some things never change.
Gilly? Hi, I'm really sorry to interrupt,
-can we get a picture with you?
-Sure.
-Something has changed.
-Can we get a pic?
I don't take photo while I eat.
-I'll take your picture.
-Thank you.
Why does everyone want a photo?
It's like that all the time.
We can't even leave the house.
You realize how much power the media has?
It's amazing.
From the moment we were eliminated,
we got invited to promotional event,
we get presents.
From here,
we're headed to an event
with a big newspaper.
Hi, I'm Yoav, the shift manager.
Nice to meet you.
May I offer you a crème brûlée
on the house?
Wow, thank you so much.
Just one question:
can I get a photo
and post it on our Instagram?
I'm so sorry, we've just signed
an ad campaign with a
big hamburger chain.
Contractually, we can't do it.
Thank you.
-Excuse me, Carmon?
-Oh, yes, Gili,
how's it going with Stephane?
Sure. There's an age difference.
I found him a pool hall.
Can I get back to work?
Your job now is to make
Stephane happy and satisfied.
We need to sign him.
Why?
All the big ad agencies
try to wine and dine him,
but they don't have
someone like you who speaks his language.
I'm from Ethiopia. He's from Togo.
Togo is like Sudan, right?
-Togo is Togo.
-Like Ethiopia.
No!
Gili, have you noticed
that you're always hostile to Ethiopians?
You're right.
We're calling the Amazing Race right now
-and signing up for the next season.
-What? Why?
Look at what fame did for Gilly,
an ugly, boring loser of a woman.
-Nitza, she's your friend.
-She was my friend.
She was my secret charity case.
But think about us,
such a wonderful couple,
me with my sense of humor,
my personality, my beautiful language…
No, mine. Did you teach literature?
-Language is mine.
-What do I have?
Me, Jacob, it's my time,
I want to burst into the scene.
Nitza, I don't care. Go ahead and burst,
I'll leave the door open.
-Who will I go with?
-With your language and charm.
Jacob, it's a couple's contest.
I need someone
to eat the gross stuff.
You think I'm going to eat cockroaches
so that people can bother me
while I'm eating in a good restaurant?
Jacob, please,
I want to be on the cover of
Cosmo before I die.
I hate cameras.
I've got fluid in my knee.
-Take someone else.
-Who?
Someone who's never been abroad
and can walk a lot.
You, Alamito,
who crossed the Sudanese Desert,
Eritrea, on foot,
with two little babies on your back,
piece of cake.
You can roll barrels in Kathmandu easy.
Are you crazy?
I'm not going on any TV contest.
But it's fun.
It's The Amazing Race.
Look, here they're in Mexico…
Is that a bathing suit?
I'm not going to
wear a bathing suit on TV.
No way! Forget what she said.
Forget it. I'll wear the bathing suit.
You'll carry heavy stuff
and eat the gross stuff.
Why would I do that?
You're used to it. You cook this stuff
all the time.
Going away for one month?
What about my kids?
What about me? Who will do my laundry?
You see? How can I go?
You don't understand. The prize is
one million Shekels. Think about it!
With one million Shekels,
you can send Ortal to college,
you can help Tamar and Gili get an
apartment, you can buy Shmelash
-a bridle.
-One million Shekels?
For that money, sure.
Who says we're going to win?
Listen, you're Ethiopian.
Ethiopians always win reality shows.
The network likes that.
It's a lot of money.
Don't forget, I'm here too.
Half a million each.
Deal.
Your first task
is filling up my fridge.
I'm head of the department,
and all I did today
was entertain this kid.
-I need a spoon.
-Sorry.
Then I drove him to the army base.
Luckily I didn't have to polish his shoes.
What's his name?
That Stephane kid, the singer.
Stephane who? Stephane, Stephane?
He's a dancer.
You don't know him? He's a big star.
-Ma'ayan is a huge fan.
-How does she know him?
Look in there.
Maybe you'll learn something.
It's Stephane!
-Guess who Daddy's working with.
-Who?
With Stephane. This guy, this Stephane.
You know Stephane?
-Know him? We spend all day together.
-Really?
Sure, we had lunch together,
I took him in our car,
I beat him at billiards.
-Daddy even almost polished his shoes.
-Right.
Can you get Stephane to record
a happy-birthday wish for me?
That's all?
Honey, he's a friend.
I'll ask him to come
and sing for all your friends.
Don't promise.
Stephane's my guy.
I just now dropped him off.
-Sounds like he's your boss.
-Don't you trust me?
Stephane owes me.
Plus, we're from bordering countries.
In a drought,
we'd ask Togo for help.
-Tamar!
-What happened?
They called us from The Amazing Race.
-We got in!
-Really?
We just have to send a little audition,
me and Alamito.
Gili, please, you're an advertising man.
You have to help us.
Amazing. You two,
Stephane, the Amazing Race, campaigns.
I am the Israeli entertainment industry.
Hello, I'm Alamito.
My son is married to her daughter.
Here, he's filming me, my sweetheart.
Hello, I'm Nitza Agasi,
an Israeli wife, mother, and teacher,
a curious pensioner,
looking for adventure.
-No, cut, it's no good.
-Why?
You're not signing up for a
dating site.
What? It was great.
I was really touched. I almost cried.
See?
She's not a professional.
I am, and I'm telling you
that I'm not buying it.
Okay, okay, Mr. Television,
how can we seduce you?
You watch these shows.
We need drama, intrigue, conflict.
-Do you want us to fight?
-That would be great.
-No, no way!
-What do you care?
Let's put on a show, It'll be fun.
I don't want to fight.
Okay, film me.
Three, two, one, action.
Hello, I'm Nitza Agasi.
When my daughter brought an Ethiopian
home, I knew it'd be difficult,
but I wasn't expecting his mother…
-Really?
-Yes, really.
The first time
we had you over for dinner,
I said, "Alamito, put the salt and pepper
away."
She put it in the dishwasher.
What? That's not true!
Did you own a dishwasher in Ethiopia? No.
When we turned on the TV,
she thought little people
were inside the TV.
That's not true, she's a liar!
I knew what a TV was.
Cut! That's perfect.
-It was disgusting.
-Would you keep watching?
Yes, because I feel like strangling her…
-I mean, my mom.
-Not just you.
Every week, thousands
of families will watch
and want to strangle her.
So it was good?
You've got it.
You're like Sarah Palin.
Such a compliment.
-Stephane.
-Hey.
-One croissant, just the way you like it.
-Thanks.
Latte with soy milk, with sugar, no foam.
-Thank you.
-Sure, no problem, anything you need.
I scratch your back,
maybe someday, you'll scratch mine.
Your shoelace…
-Okay…
-No, come on, you could slip.
-You don't have to.
-It's nothing.
What do you think?
Catchy, right?
Isn't it a bit like a jingle?
My thoughts exactly.
It doesn't make you want to dance.
We all sat here, and no one has moved.
Stephane didn't even blink,
and dancing is no effort for him.
-Unless you play really bad music.
-Okay, I got it.
But this is
the fourth song we've brought you.
The client approved them.
Guys, look at him.
He's uncomfortable.
The audience will see that.
You can't fake it.
Stephane, the food's here.
The fries will get cold.
Thank you for your time.
What's with the long faces?
Cheer up.
"Comme çi, comme ça"
wasn't written in a day.
-Steph, you've got…
-Where?
Wait.
Come here.
Thanks man.
Listen, man, I wanted to ask you
for a little favor.
-Stephane, sorry for interrupting…
-Karin,
-he's eating.
-It's okay.
Thanks. It's just that ever
since my niece heard
that you and I are… acquainted,
she won't get off my back. Her dream
is for you to perform at her birthday.
We'd pay you.
I'm so sorry, I don't do
birthday parties anymore.
-Really?
-I quit doing it
because only some kids can
afford it. It seems unfair.
I only do charity events
for children in need.
Wow, good for you.
My niece will be a charity case
once she hears you're not coming.
Enjoy your meal.
-Bon appetit!
-Merci.
Dude, you keep surprising me.
Charity! Nice.
-You're such a good person.
-It's nothing.
No, it's amazing.
I'm really touched by it, because…
-I also volunteer for children in need.
-Really?
There's this one girl,
a refugee, left alone in the country,
Her parents were deported,
so my wife and I sort of adopted her.
She's like a daughter to us.
Her name is Ma'ayan.
Her name used to be Chimka,
but we changed it to Ma'ayan.
-Chimka is a nice name.
-By the way,
her birthday is next week,
and we've prepared an event
for her in Lewinsky Park,
so we can make
even more refugee children happy,
voluntarily, of course.
That's quite a story.
I know.
What do you say
to throwing a birthday party for Ma'ayan,
but not the way we thought.
Something different.
-I knew Stephane wasn't coming.
-No, he's coming.
Don't make that promise.
Come on, he's coming for sure.
But since he's coming, and he's Stephane,
if we're getting such
a high-profile artist,
-let's make other kids happy.
-Yes, my friends!
Your friends are happy as
it is, they have happiness at home.
-Let's make sad kids, happy.
-What do you mean?
What do you think about Lewinsky Park?
It's far away,
crime, drugs.
Right, but also refugee children,
who long for a party, for a balloon.
Wow, Gili, such a nice,
socially conscious thought.
It's very unlike you.
Come on, Tamar, I've spent
my best years as a social problem.
-Well, what do you say?
-I'm in.
Alright! And you?
-Will Stephane be there?
-Yes, he will, come on, he will.
You have no idea how thrilled
my daughter is.
It's amazing that you
call her "daughter."
You see? I didn't even notice.
That's just how I feel.
How lovely.
It's my mother. I have to take this.
She has accepted Ma'ayan as if
she was her granddaughter.
Hi, Mom, I'm in the car with Stephane,
we're on our way over.
There's a disaster!
Gili! Let me speak to him.
We're on the Amazing Race!
Wow, congratulations. You had a good tape.
Thanks Nitza's dirty mouth.
Gili, what am I going to do there?
I can't make up stuff like her.
Mom, she's not making it up.
That's what she really thinks.
No, you told her her to speak badly of me.
Oh, come on, do I have to
teach Nitza to speak badly?
When you were over the other day,
she said: "Why would she leave so
much food?"
She said that about my food?
That woman who cooks
without color, without spices,
whose husband is as gray
and sad as her food?
There, didn't I tell you
you can trash-talk?
Don't worry. Me, Ortal and Eliran
will give you many more ideas.
Mom, Stephane has a phone call.
I'm hanging up.
Gili, Gili.
Wow, what a drag. All right.
Okay, I'll be right there.
What? What happened?
That was the army.
I have to go to Tel Hashomer Base
right now.
What? Now? They can wait an hour.
No, it's the army.
So what? It's not like you're a frontman.
All you can do
is make the terrorists dance.
Come on, turn around.
They're waiting for you!
How can you disappoint so many kids?
Can anyone cover you?
It's too late.
I'll cover for you.
You're 40. I need someone from my base.
First of all, I'm 36.
Picture me
in your uniform.
No one will notice.
Yeah!
-Nice.
-Say, who does your braids?
Yo, yo.
Get in.
Stephane! Stephane!
Stephane!
Such a glorious Ethiopian man.
It's like two Ethiopian guys
were put together.
He doesn't look Ethiopian.
I was just trying to be polite.
A thousand times merci.
I'm very glad to make Ma'ayan happy.
I told Gili I love her original name.
What original name?
Chimka, isn't it?
No.
What was her name before you adopted her?
Our daughter? Who adopted her?
Stephane, Stephane.
Calm down. I can't hear you.
I missed some of the swear words.
Dragging me to the party?
But it's totally mutual.
I'm doing your shift right now.
Lying to me about her being a refugee?
-I'm shocked.
-Stephane!
Stephane Lager!
Yes, sir.
Stephane is here, attention, sir.
Why aren't you in your position?
Where's your weapon?
The rifle is here, sir, I
just had no signal.
There's no signal.
You're going on trial right now.
Who's your commander?
What about the other contestant?
We have to get to the starting point.
She's getting ready, she'll be right out.
Let's use this for one more rehearsal.
If it's hot out, what do you say?
That I'm stuck in this
-with a marshmallow named Nitza.
-Nice!
And if others block you?
I say, no problem, just block
her mouth as well.
Thank you, Jacob.
Gili called from jail.
He wishes you good luck.
Tell him hi. Let's go.
Ron Shahar is waiting for me.
Nitza, before you go,
I'd like to ask you for something.
If you're going to ask for
to eat in bed, then no.
You get crumbs everywhere.
I'm more concerned about you.
I watched the tape again.
You can't talk like that on TV.
Mom, Dad is right.
-You say awful stuff.
-What?
Ethiopians have blocked the highway
over less.
So you want me to be a boring grandma?
I want to be a big deal.
I need to promote myself.
Then do it positively.
You and Alamito can be a national symbol
of the melting pot, of integration.
-That's boring.
-No, it's not.
El-Al can use you in an ad.
This is our family. It's not worth it.
I'm asking you to think before you speak.
Okay, okay, fine.
I promise I won't say
anything bad about Alamito.
But come on: not wearing a bathing suit
is just primitive!
-Bye!
-Bye.
Bye.
Nitza, remember: positive campaign, El-Al.
Mom, don't forget the tabs.
-Bye.
-Bye!
Have you prepared your mom
for the dynamic?
Yes, don't worry.
I've prepared Nitza, too.
It's going to be great.
This is so exciting.
Look, there are cameras all over.
Look at that chip down there.
It's filming me from here.
I have a double chin.
Both your chins are nice.
Just clean in between them.
Are you mocking me?
I've been keeping it to myself.
I've been living on ice and
parsley for two weeks.
That sounds much better
than what you usually cook.
Have you ever left
my dinner table hungry?
No. I always eat a sandwich
before I come over.
What's with all the insults?
Let's start over.
Mr. Cameraman, stop filming.
I'm not allowed.
What if I want to change
into a bathing suit?
In that case, you should stop filming.
It'll be more than just a double chin.
She doesn't need me.
She can be her own double.
Alamito, that was below the belt.
You need a belt?
Which clothes are too big?
Okay, pull over.
I'm not liking this at all.
-I want to leave.
-Did I say something?
I've never been so insulted in my life.
I was a teacher.
I've heard all the insults.
Pull over right now.
That's it, I'm out.
Nitza, why are you getting offended?
It's just for the laughs.
What laughs?
No one has ever cursed and
insulted me like that.
This is nothing.
I didn't even finish one card.
What?
You've written cards with insults?
No, not me, it was Eliran and Ortal
with their teenager jokes.
Is this what Eliran and Ortal
think of me?
I just feel bad telling
you everything they've written.
Alamito, take a step left.
Stop filming.
Stop shooting, I'm out.
Have you got no heart?
-They're the rules.
-Oh?
I'll break your camera.
Enough.
Let's go.
Look, Nitza, we're near Petah Tikva.
After what you did to me, you need a lot
more than that to make me happy.
No, I meant the starting point
of the race is in Petah Tikva.
Come on, Nitza, I'm sorry.
I wanted to show
what a loving family we are.
That's a loving family? Where was
all that when they started shooting?
I was thinking we were going
to do a campaign for El-Al,
and a black coffee campaign for you,
-it's just right for you.
-Thank you, Nitza.
I'll just throw these cards away.
-We can still make it.
-We have no chance.
They took a cab. We're walking.
I've walked through the desert with two
kids on my back.
The moon watches over.
On my back is my meager bag of food.
-Stop, Alamito.
-What? Is there something on my back?
My meager snack,
which I've hidden here…
Here it is, la la la…
Soon, just a little more…
I can't do it anymore.
I don't feel well.
I feel dizzy.
"The moon watches over…
Where am I? Where…
-Alamito? Alamito?
-I'm here.
-Did we win?
-No, we're dehydrated.
The combination of dry snacks
and no water is dangerous.
Good thing we didn't have
kiosks in Sudan to get snacks.
And where is Jacob?
He and Tamar are on their way.
He stopped to get you shawarma.
Enough with those card jokes.
It's not from the cards,
he really said that.
I hope you told him to
also get me fries and pickles.
-Check out what Shmelash sent me.
-What?
Shmelash and Zaudito,
you've arrived in the…
-Turn that off.
-Let me get a selfie.
Why does he have a phone?
-Give it to me.
-Let me…
You and Mendel are the only ones
without Instagram.
But Carmon, I don't have a permit.
Get a permit if you want to work here.
The test is fine.
There was something. It was removed.
Something what?
That comes back? That spreads?
Something that begins with C
and ends with R
and has the claws of a sea creature?
We'll shut down the economy
like the LGBTQ community did.
Let's see them shopping at ampm
with no cashiers!
All the cashiers are ours!
Gili, I want your baby!
What? He's talking about discrimination.
Gili, I want your discriminated baby!
This is so exciting. I have goosebumps.
Stephane, Stephane.
Who's this celebrity?
How would I know?
Probably one of your stars.
-Tahunya, Indel, all those.
-No way.
He's not Ethiopian.
Move over.
Every time another Ethiopian comes in,
you become hostile. Why?
Wait, Stephane, I want
to have a selfie too.
Why are you taking a selfie with him?
Are you from another planet?
He's a singer.
"Comme çi, comme ça"…
So you're a fan?
No, of course not…
-My nephews love him.
-Move over, move over.
-Stephane!
-Stephane. Me too…
Here, I bet you two know
each other, right?
-Gili, Stephane.
-I don't, but nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Aren't you all cousins?
What's with this handshake?
How many kisses do you do?
-Wait, are you from Togo?
-No.
Gili, forget whatever
it is you're doing now.
You stick to Stephane.
We're going to run the best campaign.
Togo into Ethiopa. Great start.
So you actually ate an iguana eye?
Sure. This was Tali's condition
for entering the race:
-I'm the one who eats the gross stuff.
-Well,
she never really was one
for gourmet food.
I guess some things never change.
Gilly? Hi, I'm really sorry to interrupt,
-can we get a picture with you?
-Sure.
-Something has changed.
-Can we get a pic?
I don't take photo while I eat.
-I'll take your picture.
-Thank you.
Why does everyone want a photo?
It's like that all the time.
We can't even leave the house.
You realize how much power the media has?
It's amazing.
From the moment we were eliminated,
we got invited to promotional event,
we get presents.
From here,
we're headed to an event
with a big newspaper.
Hi, I'm Yoav, the shift manager.
Nice to meet you.
May I offer you a crème brûlée
on the house?
Wow, thank you so much.
Just one question:
can I get a photo
and post it on our Instagram?
I'm so sorry, we've just signed
an ad campaign with a
big hamburger chain.
Contractually, we can't do it.
Thank you.
-Excuse me, Carmon?
-Oh, yes, Gili,
how's it going with Stephane?
Sure. There's an age difference.
I found him a pool hall.
Can I get back to work?
Your job now is to make
Stephane happy and satisfied.
We need to sign him.
Why?
All the big ad agencies
try to wine and dine him,
but they don't have
someone like you who speaks his language.
I'm from Ethiopia. He's from Togo.
Togo is like Sudan, right?
-Togo is Togo.
-Like Ethiopia.
No!
Gili, have you noticed
that you're always hostile to Ethiopians?
You're right.
We're calling the Amazing Race right now
-and signing up for the next season.
-What? Why?
Look at what fame did for Gilly,
an ugly, boring loser of a woman.
-Nitza, she's your friend.
-She was my friend.
She was my secret charity case.
But think about us,
such a wonderful couple,
me with my sense of humor,
my personality, my beautiful language…
No, mine. Did you teach literature?
-Language is mine.
-What do I have?
Me, Jacob, it's my time,
I want to burst into the scene.
Nitza, I don't care. Go ahead and burst,
I'll leave the door open.
-Who will I go with?
-With your language and charm.
Jacob, it's a couple's contest.
I need someone
to eat the gross stuff.
You think I'm going to eat cockroaches
so that people can bother me
while I'm eating in a good restaurant?
Jacob, please,
I want to be on the cover of
Cosmo before I die.
I hate cameras.
I've got fluid in my knee.
-Take someone else.
-Who?
Someone who's never been abroad
and can walk a lot.
You, Alamito,
who crossed the Sudanese Desert,
Eritrea, on foot,
with two little babies on your back,
piece of cake.
You can roll barrels in Kathmandu easy.
Are you crazy?
I'm not going on any TV contest.
But it's fun.
It's The Amazing Race.
Look, here they're in Mexico…
Is that a bathing suit?
I'm not going to
wear a bathing suit on TV.
No way! Forget what she said.
Forget it. I'll wear the bathing suit.
You'll carry heavy stuff
and eat the gross stuff.
Why would I do that?
You're used to it. You cook this stuff
all the time.
Going away for one month?
What about my kids?
What about me? Who will do my laundry?
You see? How can I go?
You don't understand. The prize is
one million Shekels. Think about it!
With one million Shekels,
you can send Ortal to college,
you can help Tamar and Gili get an
apartment, you can buy Shmelash
-a bridle.
-One million Shekels?
For that money, sure.
Who says we're going to win?
Listen, you're Ethiopian.
Ethiopians always win reality shows.
The network likes that.
It's a lot of money.
Don't forget, I'm here too.
Half a million each.
Deal.
Your first task
is filling up my fridge.
I'm head of the department,
and all I did today
was entertain this kid.
-I need a spoon.
-Sorry.
Then I drove him to the army base.
Luckily I didn't have to polish his shoes.
What's his name?
That Stephane kid, the singer.
Stephane who? Stephane, Stephane?
He's a dancer.
You don't know him? He's a big star.
-Ma'ayan is a huge fan.
-How does she know him?
Look in there.
Maybe you'll learn something.
It's Stephane!
-Guess who Daddy's working with.
-Who?
With Stephane. This guy, this Stephane.
You know Stephane?
-Know him? We spend all day together.
-Really?
Sure, we had lunch together,
I took him in our car,
I beat him at billiards.
-Daddy even almost polished his shoes.
-Right.
Can you get Stephane to record
a happy-birthday wish for me?
That's all?
Honey, he's a friend.
I'll ask him to come
and sing for all your friends.
Don't promise.
Stephane's my guy.
I just now dropped him off.
-Sounds like he's your boss.
-Don't you trust me?
Stephane owes me.
Plus, we're from bordering countries.
In a drought,
we'd ask Togo for help.
-Tamar!
-What happened?
They called us from The Amazing Race.
-We got in!
-Really?
We just have to send a little audition,
me and Alamito.
Gili, please, you're an advertising man.
You have to help us.
Amazing. You two,
Stephane, the Amazing Race, campaigns.
I am the Israeli entertainment industry.
Hello, I'm Alamito.
My son is married to her daughter.
Here, he's filming me, my sweetheart.
Hello, I'm Nitza Agasi,
an Israeli wife, mother, and teacher,
a curious pensioner,
looking for adventure.
-No, cut, it's no good.
-Why?
You're not signing up for a
dating site.
What? It was great.
I was really touched. I almost cried.
See?
She's not a professional.
I am, and I'm telling you
that I'm not buying it.
Okay, okay, Mr. Television,
how can we seduce you?
You watch these shows.
We need drama, intrigue, conflict.
-Do you want us to fight?
-That would be great.
-No, no way!
-What do you care?
Let's put on a show, It'll be fun.
I don't want to fight.
Okay, film me.
Three, two, one, action.
Hello, I'm Nitza Agasi.
When my daughter brought an Ethiopian
home, I knew it'd be difficult,
but I wasn't expecting his mother…
-Really?
-Yes, really.
The first time
we had you over for dinner,
I said, "Alamito, put the salt and pepper
away."
She put it in the dishwasher.
What? That's not true!
Did you own a dishwasher in Ethiopia? No.
When we turned on the TV,
she thought little people
were inside the TV.
That's not true, she's a liar!
I knew what a TV was.
Cut! That's perfect.
-It was disgusting.
-Would you keep watching?
Yes, because I feel like strangling her…
-I mean, my mom.
-Not just you.
Every week, thousands
of families will watch
and want to strangle her.
So it was good?
You've got it.
You're like Sarah Palin.
Such a compliment.
-Stephane.
-Hey.
-One croissant, just the way you like it.
-Thanks.
Latte with soy milk, with sugar, no foam.
-Thank you.
-Sure, no problem, anything you need.
I scratch your back,
maybe someday, you'll scratch mine.
Your shoelace…
-Okay…
-No, come on, you could slip.
-You don't have to.
-It's nothing.
What do you think?
Catchy, right?
Isn't it a bit like a jingle?
My thoughts exactly.
It doesn't make you want to dance.
We all sat here, and no one has moved.
Stephane didn't even blink,
and dancing is no effort for him.
-Unless you play really bad music.
-Okay, I got it.
But this is
the fourth song we've brought you.
The client approved them.
Guys, look at him.
He's uncomfortable.
The audience will see that.
You can't fake it.
Stephane, the food's here.
The fries will get cold.
Thank you for your time.
What's with the long faces?
Cheer up.
"Comme çi, comme ça"
wasn't written in a day.
-Steph, you've got…
-Where?
Wait.
Come here.
Thanks man.
Listen, man, I wanted to ask you
for a little favor.
-Stephane, sorry for interrupting…
-Karin,
-he's eating.
-It's okay.
Thanks. It's just that ever
since my niece heard
that you and I are… acquainted,
she won't get off my back. Her dream
is for you to perform at her birthday.
We'd pay you.
I'm so sorry, I don't do
birthday parties anymore.
-Really?
-I quit doing it
because only some kids can
afford it. It seems unfair.
I only do charity events
for children in need.
Wow, good for you.
My niece will be a charity case
once she hears you're not coming.
Enjoy your meal.
-Bon appetit!
-Merci.
Dude, you keep surprising me.
Charity! Nice.
-You're such a good person.
-It's nothing.
No, it's amazing.
I'm really touched by it, because…
-I also volunteer for children in need.
-Really?
There's this one girl,
a refugee, left alone in the country,
Her parents were deported,
so my wife and I sort of adopted her.
She's like a daughter to us.
Her name is Ma'ayan.
Her name used to be Chimka,
but we changed it to Ma'ayan.
-Chimka is a nice name.
-By the way,
her birthday is next week,
and we've prepared an event
for her in Lewinsky Park,
so we can make
even more refugee children happy,
voluntarily, of course.
That's quite a story.
I know.
What do you say
to throwing a birthday party for Ma'ayan,
but not the way we thought.
Something different.
-I knew Stephane wasn't coming.
-No, he's coming.
Don't make that promise.
Come on, he's coming for sure.
But since he's coming, and he's Stephane,
if we're getting such
a high-profile artist,
-let's make other kids happy.
-Yes, my friends!
Your friends are happy as
it is, they have happiness at home.
-Let's make sad kids, happy.
-What do you mean?
What do you think about Lewinsky Park?
It's far away,
crime, drugs.
Right, but also refugee children,
who long for a party, for a balloon.
Wow, Gili, such a nice,
socially conscious thought.
It's very unlike you.
Come on, Tamar, I've spent
my best years as a social problem.
-Well, what do you say?
-I'm in.
Alright! And you?
-Will Stephane be there?
-Yes, he will, come on, he will.
You have no idea how thrilled
my daughter is.
It's amazing that you
call her "daughter."
You see? I didn't even notice.
That's just how I feel.
How lovely.
It's my mother. I have to take this.
She has accepted Ma'ayan as if
she was her granddaughter.
Hi, Mom, I'm in the car with Stephane,
we're on our way over.
There's a disaster!
Gili! Let me speak to him.
We're on the Amazing Race!
Wow, congratulations. You had a good tape.
Thanks Nitza's dirty mouth.
Gili, what am I going to do there?
I can't make up stuff like her.
Mom, she's not making it up.
That's what she really thinks.
No, you told her her to speak badly of me.
Oh, come on, do I have to
teach Nitza to speak badly?
When you were over the other day,
she said: "Why would she leave so
much food?"
She said that about my food?
That woman who cooks
without color, without spices,
whose husband is as gray
and sad as her food?
There, didn't I tell you
you can trash-talk?
Don't worry. Me, Ortal and Eliran
will give you many more ideas.
Mom, Stephane has a phone call.
I'm hanging up.
Gili, Gili.
Wow, what a drag. All right.
Okay, I'll be right there.
What? What happened?
That was the army.
I have to go to Tel Hashomer Base
right now.
What? Now? They can wait an hour.
No, it's the army.
So what? It's not like you're a frontman.
All you can do
is make the terrorists dance.
Come on, turn around.
They're waiting for you!
How can you disappoint so many kids?
Can anyone cover you?
It's too late.
I'll cover for you.
You're 40. I need someone from my base.
First of all, I'm 36.
Picture me
in your uniform.
No one will notice.
Yeah!
-Nice.
-Say, who does your braids?
Yo, yo.
Get in.
Stephane! Stephane!
Stephane!
Such a glorious Ethiopian man.
It's like two Ethiopian guys
were put together.
He doesn't look Ethiopian.
I was just trying to be polite.
A thousand times merci.
I'm very glad to make Ma'ayan happy.
I told Gili I love her original name.
What original name?
Chimka, isn't it?
No.
What was her name before you adopted her?
Our daughter? Who adopted her?
Stephane, Stephane.
Calm down. I can't hear you.
I missed some of the swear words.
Dragging me to the party?
But it's totally mutual.
I'm doing your shift right now.
Lying to me about her being a refugee?
-I'm shocked.
-Stephane!
Stephane Lager!
Yes, sir.
Stephane is here, attention, sir.
Why aren't you in your position?
Where's your weapon?
The rifle is here, sir, I
just had no signal.
There's no signal.
You're going on trial right now.
Who's your commander?
What about the other contestant?
We have to get to the starting point.
She's getting ready, she'll be right out.
Let's use this for one more rehearsal.
If it's hot out, what do you say?
That I'm stuck in this
-with a marshmallow named Nitza.
-Nice!
And if others block you?
I say, no problem, just block
her mouth as well.
Thank you, Jacob.
Gili called from jail.
He wishes you good luck.
Tell him hi. Let's go.
Ron Shahar is waiting for me.
Nitza, before you go,
I'd like to ask you for something.
If you're going to ask for
to eat in bed, then no.
You get crumbs everywhere.
I'm more concerned about you.
I watched the tape again.
You can't talk like that on TV.
Mom, Dad is right.
-You say awful stuff.
-What?
Ethiopians have blocked the highway
over less.
So you want me to be a boring grandma?
I want to be a big deal.
I need to promote myself.
Then do it positively.
You and Alamito can be a national symbol
of the melting pot, of integration.
-That's boring.
-No, it's not.
El-Al can use you in an ad.
This is our family. It's not worth it.
I'm asking you to think before you speak.
Okay, okay, fine.
I promise I won't say
anything bad about Alamito.
But come on: not wearing a bathing suit
is just primitive!
-Bye!
-Bye.
Bye.
Nitza, remember: positive campaign, El-Al.
Mom, don't forget the tabs.
-Bye.
-Bye!
Have you prepared your mom
for the dynamic?
Yes, don't worry.
I've prepared Nitza, too.
It's going to be great.
This is so exciting.
Look, there are cameras all over.
Look at that chip down there.
It's filming me from here.
I have a double chin.
Both your chins are nice.
Just clean in between them.
Are you mocking me?
I've been keeping it to myself.
I've been living on ice and
parsley for two weeks.
That sounds much better
than what you usually cook.
Have you ever left
my dinner table hungry?
No. I always eat a sandwich
before I come over.
What's with all the insults?
Let's start over.
Mr. Cameraman, stop filming.
I'm not allowed.
What if I want to change
into a bathing suit?
In that case, you should stop filming.
It'll be more than just a double chin.
She doesn't need me.
She can be her own double.
Alamito, that was below the belt.
You need a belt?
Which clothes are too big?
Okay, pull over.
I'm not liking this at all.
-I want to leave.
-Did I say something?
I've never been so insulted in my life.
I was a teacher.
I've heard all the insults.
Pull over right now.
That's it, I'm out.
Nitza, why are you getting offended?
It's just for the laughs.
What laughs?
No one has ever cursed and
insulted me like that.
This is nothing.
I didn't even finish one card.
What?
You've written cards with insults?
No, not me, it was Eliran and Ortal
with their teenager jokes.
Is this what Eliran and Ortal
think of me?
I just feel bad telling
you everything they've written.
Alamito, take a step left.
Stop filming.
Stop shooting, I'm out.
Have you got no heart?
-They're the rules.
-Oh?
I'll break your camera.
Enough.
Let's go.
Look, Nitza, we're near Petah Tikva.
After what you did to me, you need a lot
more than that to make me happy.
No, I meant the starting point
of the race is in Petah Tikva.
Come on, Nitza, I'm sorry.
I wanted to show
what a loving family we are.
That's a loving family? Where was
all that when they started shooting?
I was thinking we were going
to do a campaign for El-Al,
and a black coffee campaign for you,
-it's just right for you.
-Thank you, Nitza.
I'll just throw these cards away.
-We can still make it.
-We have no chance.
They took a cab. We're walking.
I've walked through the desert with two
kids on my back.
The moon watches over.
On my back is my meager bag of food.
-Stop, Alamito.
-What? Is there something on my back?
My meager snack,
which I've hidden here…
Here it is, la la la…
Soon, just a little more…
I can't do it anymore.
I don't feel well.
I feel dizzy.
"The moon watches over…
Where am I? Where…
-Alamito? Alamito?
-I'm here.
-Did we win?
-No, we're dehydrated.
The combination of dry snacks
and no water is dangerous.
Good thing we didn't have
kiosks in Sudan to get snacks.
And where is Jacob?
He and Tamar are on their way.
He stopped to get you shawarma.
Enough with those card jokes.
It's not from the cards,
he really said that.
I hope you told him to
also get me fries and pickles.
-Check out what Shmelash sent me.
-What?
Shmelash and Zaudito,
you've arrived in the…
-Turn that off.
-Let me get a selfie.
Why does he have a phone?
-Give it to me.
-Let me…
You and Mendel are the only ones
without Instagram.
But Carmon, I don't have a permit.
Get a permit if you want to work here.
The test is fine.
There was something. It was removed.
Something what?
That comes back? That spreads?
Something that begins with C
and ends with R
and has the claws of a sea creature?
We'll shut down the economy
like the LGBTQ community did.
Let's see them shopping at ampm
with no cashiers!
All the cashiers are ours!
Gili, I want your baby!
What? He's talking about discrimination.
Gili, I want your discriminated baby!