Nevsu (2017–2021): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Statue - full transcript
-Bye, Nitza.
-Hey, Ortal!
-Who's that?
-Shlomi.
Is he a boyfriend
or just a friend?
-Boyfriend.
-Wow, I didn't know.
-How long?
-About two months. Bye, Nitza.
Wait, what's his last name?
Boyfriend…
Hey, Alamito,
I'm so glad you're here.
I just met Ortal's boyfriend.
I didn't know.
Yes, she has a boyfriend.
Who is he?
What do we know about him?
Is he Ethiopian or ordinary?
-He's an ordinary Ethiopian.
-Is he handsome?
I don't know,
he always wears a helmet.
So how do you know
he's Ethiopian?
He wasn't wearing gloves.
Oh.
So that's why you're here.
You left them alone at home,
good for you.
Whoa, Mom, way to go.
Too bad you weren't like that
in my day.
I did nothing of the sort.
They're not at home, they're at the mall.
Right, "the mall."
When Tamari had a boyfriend,
she'd say: "Mom,
we're going to the library."
There were no malls back then.
What, they didn't go to the mall?
Do you think they…
Gili, take me home.
Wait, Alamito,
you're making a big mistake.
Tamari and I are very open nowadays
about intimate matters.
I bought her
her first box of condoms.
She had a Yemenite boyfriend
at the time.
The box would empty so fast,
I'd say, "Hey,
his family should chip in, too."
But they're Yemenites,
so good luck with that.
What do you mean, fast?
How fast?
Afterwards, they'd raid the fridge.
I don't have to tell you
how hungry Tamar gets afterwards.
-No…
-Okay,
I'm calling her.
And then the showers,
they'd use up all the hot water.
I'd say, "Guys, leave some for Dad."
Poor Yaakov, after they did it,
he always had a cold shower.
Well, she's not answering.
Alamito, I hope she got
the papilloma vaccine.
Men can get it now, too.
Gili,
what's papilloma?
It's…
-like a throat infection.
-Yes, but…
not in the throat.
Then where?
Alamito, please tell me
you took her to a gynecologist.
We only go to a gynecologist
when we have a home of our own,
Only one kind of a woman
goes to a gynecologist--
a mother.
Okay, I could be wrong,
they could be
at the library reading
Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky.
-That's why she's not answering.
-Right.
Now everyone's like that.
In high school, you were a good boy.
You didn't do those things.
I did, but not at home.
Mom, wasn't it strange
that I always said:
"I'm going to the beach"
even though I can't swim?
You're naughty…
Naughty…
-Hi, honey.
-Hi.
I finished the sculpture.
Wow!
-Already? -Yes.
-Unreal.
I was just told that the exhibition
will be in Tel Aviv.
-That's amazing.
-It's great
that so many people
will see your sculpture.
Your sculpture.
Mine?
What do you mean, mine?
The sculpture is called Gili.
No way.
Yes, honey,
you're my inspiration.
Just don't touch it,
it's wet.
Wow.
Do you like it?
Very much.
-Yeah?
-What a surprise.
You're my inspiration.
I certainly hope so.
I'd better be.
Honey, it's--
it's very nice.
But it belongs at home.
It's…
for the bedroom.
Why?
You don't like it?
No, it's amazing,
and it's…
-very accurate.
-Okay.
It's just…
all the guys from the office
and our clients will be at the exhibition.
I'm a little embarrassed
for everyone to see…
What?
They'll see…
Bobo.
What Bobo?
Your Bobo?
No, Bob the Builder.
Of course my Bobo.
No,
you actually thought
I sculpted Bobo?
There's the thing itself
and the circles down there.
There are three circles, Gili.
Even worse.
Looks like a medical problem.
I can see my boss saying,
"Gili, go get that checked."
You should check something else,
like why everything
reminds you of Bobo.
Seriously.
Start thinking about other stuff.
Read some books, jog.
Okay, if it's not Bobo,
-what is it?
-Basically,
it's the image of a tree
that's been uprooted, like you,
and replanted on a riverbed,
which is the pebbles,
not Bobo's friends.
I've never seen a tree like that.
It's just long and erect.
Forget it, doesn't matter.
Call the office, tell them
I'm leaving the exhibition.
That's too bad.
But if that's what you want…
I just think you should
emphasize that it's a tree.
Just…
add some branches and leaves.
A couple of oranges hanging.
But on top, honey,
not down below.
Oh, Yaakov,
I'm glad you're here. Listen.
I want to throw you
a surprise party,
so I thought I'd get the Dudaim
to perform,
but one Dude is dead.
Then I thought, the Parvarim!
But they split up.
So want me to get one Parvar?
But now it's not a surprise.
There's a great new duo
called Lolik and Bebaleh,
I hear they're wonderful.
I don't like the sound of "Bebaleh."
It's my 70th birthday.
I want to tear up the town,
feel the wind in my hair.
Like at 60 when you wanted
to swim across the Kinneret
and after two hours we had
to pull you out with an inner tube?
Nitza, the Kinneret
can get very stormy.
Or at 50 when you said,
"Let's climb the Swiss Alps."
And we flew to the Alps.
Yes, and we sat
in our cabin and ate granola all day.
We could've done that up north.
So now at 70
you're turning into Tarzan?
Even when you were young,
everyone went to the paratroopers,
but you were a clerk.
-A clerk? -Yes.
-I was a bookkeeper.
You know how much money
went through my hands?
I couldn't be a paratrooper
because of my flat feet.
That's right,
blame your flat feet.
For my 70th birthday,
I want to get myself a skydiving course.
I'll get you a recliner
and you'll…
dive right into it.
Nitza, it's always been my dream.
I was the only pencil pusher around.
-Bentzi makes fun of me to this day.
-Who cares?
You have to die
because of some fatso in Australia?
No one dies from skydiving.
Hannah Senesh?
She landed safely,
but right on the Gestapo's HQ.
People get heart attacks
while they're skydiving.
The chute doesn't open,
neither does the reserve,
then the strings get all entangled.
Don't be ridiculous.
You know what?
-I'll get myself a skydiving course.
-Suit yourself.
There's one in Beer Sheva
and one in Haifa.
Do you mind where?
I don't mind where you die.
So you won't be crying
at my funeral.
You know the slightest thing
makes me cry.
Since when do you watch MTV, Mom?
Sometimes they put on
nice songs at night.
What happened?
Why did you come home
in the middle of the night?
We just went to the movies
and then to the beach.
The beach?
Why…
Since when do you go to the beach?
I go sometimes,
we live in Netanya after all.
Is there anything to eat?
I'm starving.
Why eat in the middle of the night?
I'm hungry. Never mind,
I'll go take a shower.
A shower?!
If your father were alive,
this wouldn't be happening.
But I took showers
when Dad was alive, too.
Ortal.
You scared me.
We need to talk.
-What?
-I want us to talk openly.
Okay.
Why aren't you talking?
About what?
Everything.
Like what?
-Like what?
-Yeah, like what?
You know what?
Fine, don't talk to me.
Good night.
I tried.
Here.
Pass them on.
Wow, so many pages.
It's only skydiving,
what's the big deal?
Lots of things can happen.
People get heart attacks while skydiving,
they swallow their tongue,
their eyes roll back.
Sometimes two chutes get entangled.
No way,
that's just a myth.
That's what happened
to our instructor Yiftach.
So did he stop skydiving?
No, he still dives.
They put him back together,
he's Mr. Platinum.
Jump!
I forgot,
when do I fold my legs?
Before you land, then roll,
so they don't break.
Jump!
Wait!
Which side do I roll to?
I forgot to tell you,
I have flat feet.
I have flat feet!
Look at those youngsters,
what were we thinking?
I actually can't wait,
I've done bungee jumping, rafting,
I climbed the Alps.
So did I.
Those cabins down below are great,
but my wife and kids are worried,
you know.
-I'm single, I do whatever I want.
-Yeah,
because no one
cares about you.
What's up, Flatfoot?
Can you do it this time without crying?
Tamari, don't take it to heart.
So Gili doesn't like it,
big deal,
-he's no art expert.
-What can I say,
I'm bummed.
He's my inspiration.
I think I'll just let it go.
No way!
I've already invited people
to the exhibition.
Nitza, I've decided not to skydive.
What? Why?
It worries your mother.
Great, Mom.
Let him live a little.
He has a dream,
let him do what he wants for once.
Sometimes she lets me do
what I want.
My whole life
I've let you do what you want.
No, Mom, he always does
what you want.
Don't eat watermelon,
it gives you gas.
Have some melon.
Why are you reading obituaries
in the morning? It makes you depressed.
Come on, Mom,
be on his side for once.
I am on his side,
that's why I don't let him do such things.
Tamari, you stay out of it.
This whole skydiving business
is silly.
It scares your mother
and I don't want to upset her.
Really, Yankaleh?
I'm so happy to hear that.
At the end of the day,
what do we have in life?
Each other.
Your father is so sweet.
Yaakov,
look straight into my eyes.
You're going to do this,
big time!
You're going to skydive!
I'll be there,
Tamar and Gili will be there,
the whole family,
all your friends,
we'll all stand there and yell:
Hip-hip-hooray!
Nitza, that won't be necessary.
Say thank you and shut up,
my little paratrooper.
-Gili, hi.
-Hi.
Does your wife know
we need the sculpture by Thursday?
Yes, yes…
But she's not sure
she'll be exhibiting it.
Could you take a look?
What do you think?
Impressive.
What's so impressive?
It's like a cypress tree
with the top cut off.
It must be an image of you
and your immigration experience.
Wow, the pebbles
are really moving.
And the connotation
is totally universal.
Tamari always has a connotation.
Honey.
What, darling?
Sweetie…
I wanted to apologize
for what I said about the sculpture.
I love you
and you're so talented.
Come here, you angel.
I overreacted, too.
And I admit
that I have a hard time with criticism,
but I listened to you
and I changed something.
Great, and you'll exhibit it?
Of course.
You were right.
Not everyone's into art and
I want people to understand it's a tree.
What?
Now it's too obvious
that it's a tree?
No, not at all.
See the root here?
-Oh, that's the root?
-Yeah.
-Nice.
-Yeah.
You know,
I gave it a lot of thought,
and there was something
about that neutral gray that…
No, it's better like this.
Gili,
you have to talk to Ortal.
You can't just barge in here.
What if I was naked?
Who walks around naked
at four o'clock?
Wait, why did you cover it?
I still want to get it wet.
My mom should see it
when it's done,
at the exhibition.
You're right.
I'll take it to the studio.
I want to get it wet.
Leave the shirt on it
the whole way.
So it'll be a surprise
for everyone.
Gili,
you have to talk to Ortal about Shlomi.
I couldn't.
She's very closed off.
Did you tell her…
it's okay to…
and if she needs…
I tried, but I can't talk to her
like I can talk to you.
What can I tell her?
That your father and I
were very naughty?
Naughty in the river,
at our favorite tree, on the swing…
No, no, Mom,
talk to her, not me.
But I can talk to you about anything,
we're like friends…
No, Mom, we're not like friends,
we're like mother and son.
I can't handle the image of Dad
on the swing in my mind.
But I'm worried about your sister.
In Ethiopia no one had papilloma.
People just died,
people didn't know from what.
What do I know about papilloma?
It's a new virus.
-Then who am I supposed to talk to?
-I don't know,
go see Dr. Papilloma!
Alamito, we made a mistake
by starting with the papilloma.
After all, we don't want Ortal
to be afraid of sex.
-No?
-No.
Sex is a wonderful thing.
It awakens all your senses,
a beautiful thing between two people.
I brought a few guidebooks on sex.
I was a teacher for 30 years,
I taught every life skill there is.
No, Nitza, dear God,
I can't show her
these pictures,
-it's embarrassing.
-Come on.
Take a look.
Do you know this position?
Yes, that's a good one.
A very good one.
This one is more complicated.
Do you know it?
Oh, I know it, all right.
But it's better
the other way around.
The other way around?
What do you mean?
Only people who do
Ashtanga yoga could do that.
On the contrary, if you do it a lot,
you don't have to do yoga.
Oh, please,
you're just patronizing me.
I wouldn't survive doing the splits.
Depends how you go about it.
Look, there's a little trick.
If I go about it like that,
there's no way back, are you kidding me?
My head would never reach that point.
I'm telling you,
I did it nine months pregnant.
-Really? -Yes.
-This I've got to see.
No problem.
I'll lie down here.
Come show me.
This I've got to see.
Alamito, hurry,
this isn't easy!
It's better if you do it
with high heels.
You wore high heels in Addis Ababa
when you were 9 months pregnant?
Beyonce!
-Now I'll slide my leg next to yours.
-Hey,
-it's not like this in the book.
-Nitza, if the other person is negative,
you can't do anything.
-For good sex you have to think positive.
-I think positive!
-Have an open mind.
-I have an open mind!
-And a little patience…
-Ouch!
Mom, how are you…
Gili, it's not what you think.
At least lock the door.
It's high, I knew it.
I'm just afraid
that the air is thin up there
and my veins will constrict,
and then I'm a dead man.
You have the blood pressure
of a 30-year-old.
-Who drinks and smokes?
-You're fine.
Let's check your eyesight.
One, four, eight,
three, five, seven…
We've got a sniper,
not a paratrooper.
A hearing test
and we're done.
Actually, Doctor,
I don't hear too well in this ear.
Could it be a balance thing?
Hold on, it's from overseas.
Hello?
Bentzi, yes.
What?
All the way from Australia?
Everyone?
Oh, Nitza invited you.
Okay, I have to go.
I see you hear very well in that ear.
I'd send you to the paratroopers
in a flash.
Doctor, you're sending a 70-year-old
with high blood pressure
who's blind and deaf to skydive?
Issue me a death certificate
and get it over with.
Doctor,
how's my paratrooper?
The doctor's not too sure.
Health-wise,
there's no problem.
That's what I wanted to hear.
Seriously, it's my life dream.
-I wouldn't give it up for anything.
-There's no need to.
I just wanted Nitza to hear that.
Now I can rest assured.
She called it Gili,
but it's not me.
She didn't sculpt me.
It was gray originally.
But why did she turn you into a tower?
You're not that tall.
Oh, you see a tower?
Nice.
A lighthouse that emits light.
I was actually thinking
of a watchtower.
Because of the sandbags
we'd put down below.
A watchtower's good, too.
It's not a tower or a watchtower,
what's with you two?
Don't you see what it is?
What do you think it is?
A tree.
A tree planted on a riverbed
and those are the pebbles.
-You know what else it could be?
-No, that's okay.
Tree, that's the correct answer.
Tamar told me.
Good, let's move on.
What does that look like to you?
-It's a fire extinguisher.
-Yes.
Good, a fire extinguisher.
Come on.
THE SECRET OF SENSUAL LOVE
Anyway, I haven't read the book yet,
but I hear it's very good.
Here, read it.
Shall we watch the movie now?
No, Mom, enough!
Just a few minutes.
We don't have to see how it ends.
The body is a very sensual vessel
and there are
several pleasure centers
that we should get to know
before making love.
Shlomi, it was her idea,
not mine!
I'm late for Bnei Akiva!
Nowadays you can get
the papilloma vaccine, too!
Mom, what is wrong with you?
I saw that you wanted to talk to me
and I thought if you're not open with me,
I'll be open with you.
Talk to you about what, Mom?
I don't want to have sex.
-Shlomi knows the laws of touching.
-Really?
Yes, and now he'll be observant
of the law of seeing, too.
No, don't bother,
you won't see anything anyway.
You won't be able to tell me
from the other skydivers.
Yaakov, I'm bringing binoculars
for everyone.
If it rains,
the whole thing's called off.
It did rain once in August.
Bye.
Surprise!
I believe I can fly
Yaakov, you're one helluva guy
Nitza, have you lost your mind?
You invited everyone?
And what's with the shirts?
You've been waiting for this
for 50 years!
That's why I'm stressed.
When I'm up there,
everyone'll be looking at me,
so instead of focusing on the jump,
I'll be worried about how I look!
So you don't want everyone to come?
No.
Just the family?
No, I don't want the family to come.
Just me?
No, I don't want you to come.
So you want to be up there
all alone?
I don't want to be up there either!
How did you let this happen?
I thought
it's what you wanted!
Since when do you care what I want?
You think I know what I want?
You always know what I want.
Wait, you want me
to get you out of this?
Yes, that's the Nitza I love.
What'll I tell everyone?
Tell them you won't let me,
that you're worried,
that I could die up there.
Again I'm the meanie
who doesn't let her husband do anything.
Yes, but you're my meanie.
That's what I want most
for my birthday.
It's like an uprooted tree.
It's about the occupation.
Whenever you see an uprooted tree,
you think of Arabs.
Are we not all a tree?
You? Me?
Amazing.
Tamar sculpted a tree
and it sparked a lot of debate.
That means it's good.
Everyone sees it
as a different tree
and each tree takes you
somewhere else.
What tree?
I don't see a tree.
What I see is embarrassing.
Don't invite me
to such things.
You don't see the tree?
You made it bigger,
it's not the right size. What a show-off.
No, no, you don't understand.
It's a tree
and these are pebbles.
Is that what yours looks like?
Go to the doctor
and get that checked.
-Honey…
-Huh?
Someone just bought the sculpture.
-No way.
-Yes.
-Good job.
-Thank you. -Good job.
Thank you.
I'm so happy.
Thank God,
we won't have to see it anymore.
Amen.
-Okay, Yaakov, are you with me?
-Yes.
-Okay, focus. We can do it.
-Yes.
-If Alamito can, so can we.
-Okay.
-Give me your hand.
-Here. -Good.
Brace yourself…
-I got you!
-Okay. -Good.
Can you do a bridge stretch
at the same time?
-I'll try.
-Okay.
-Slowly.
-A bridge stretch. I'll help you.
-Ah!
-What happened?
My back went out.
I decided to buy
Gili's wife's sculpture
first of all
because of the connection,
but mostly because of the message--
that we should bloom like a tree
and try to reach the sky.
-Very nice.
-You like it?
No, but I'm glad to see
you're circumcised.
There's a problem here.
If we hear the accent,
so do kids in kindergarten.
Oh, no, then they'll find out
she's Ethiopian.
She has a problem with the D.
D.
She has a problem
with Z, T and S, too.
What does that leave me with?
N?
Mom, why am I wearing
a JDL shirt?
There were elections,
they were handing them out,
that's what you got.
Nowadays it's trendy to add
your last name to his,
so it would be
Tamar Agassi Chalacho.
And you can add Agassi, too.
Gili Agassi Chalacho
or Gili Chalacho Agassi
or Gili Agassi.
Sounds like a pilot.
A dozen dim ding-dongs.
What was that?
An accent, that's what.
Doug digs dirty dugouts.
Accent?
No, not at all.
Okay, but it's not tick.
Thick, not "tick."
But I don't sound
like a new immigrant.
Sound, not "sound."
Don't do that.
"Don't do that."
Don't do that!
Don't do that!
Fine, I'll keep my mouth shut.
-Hey, Ortal!
-Who's that?
-Shlomi.
Is he a boyfriend
or just a friend?
-Boyfriend.
-Wow, I didn't know.
-How long?
-About two months. Bye, Nitza.
Wait, what's his last name?
Boyfriend…
Hey, Alamito,
I'm so glad you're here.
I just met Ortal's boyfriend.
I didn't know.
Yes, she has a boyfriend.
Who is he?
What do we know about him?
Is he Ethiopian or ordinary?
-He's an ordinary Ethiopian.
-Is he handsome?
I don't know,
he always wears a helmet.
So how do you know
he's Ethiopian?
He wasn't wearing gloves.
Oh.
So that's why you're here.
You left them alone at home,
good for you.
Whoa, Mom, way to go.
Too bad you weren't like that
in my day.
I did nothing of the sort.
They're not at home, they're at the mall.
Right, "the mall."
When Tamari had a boyfriend,
she'd say: "Mom,
we're going to the library."
There were no malls back then.
What, they didn't go to the mall?
Do you think they…
Gili, take me home.
Wait, Alamito,
you're making a big mistake.
Tamari and I are very open nowadays
about intimate matters.
I bought her
her first box of condoms.
She had a Yemenite boyfriend
at the time.
The box would empty so fast,
I'd say, "Hey,
his family should chip in, too."
But they're Yemenites,
so good luck with that.
What do you mean, fast?
How fast?
Afterwards, they'd raid the fridge.
I don't have to tell you
how hungry Tamar gets afterwards.
-No…
-Okay,
I'm calling her.
And then the showers,
they'd use up all the hot water.
I'd say, "Guys, leave some for Dad."
Poor Yaakov, after they did it,
he always had a cold shower.
Well, she's not answering.
Alamito, I hope she got
the papilloma vaccine.
Men can get it now, too.
Gili,
what's papilloma?
It's…
-like a throat infection.
-Yes, but…
not in the throat.
Then where?
Alamito, please tell me
you took her to a gynecologist.
We only go to a gynecologist
when we have a home of our own,
Only one kind of a woman
goes to a gynecologist--
a mother.
Okay, I could be wrong,
they could be
at the library reading
Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky.
-That's why she's not answering.
-Right.
Now everyone's like that.
In high school, you were a good boy.
You didn't do those things.
I did, but not at home.
Mom, wasn't it strange
that I always said:
"I'm going to the beach"
even though I can't swim?
You're naughty…
Naughty…
-Hi, honey.
-Hi.
I finished the sculpture.
Wow!
-Already? -Yes.
-Unreal.
I was just told that the exhibition
will be in Tel Aviv.
-That's amazing.
-It's great
that so many people
will see your sculpture.
Your sculpture.
Mine?
What do you mean, mine?
The sculpture is called Gili.
No way.
Yes, honey,
you're my inspiration.
Just don't touch it,
it's wet.
Wow.
Do you like it?
Very much.
-Yeah?
-What a surprise.
You're my inspiration.
I certainly hope so.
I'd better be.
Honey, it's--
it's very nice.
But it belongs at home.
It's…
for the bedroom.
Why?
You don't like it?
No, it's amazing,
and it's…
-very accurate.
-Okay.
It's just…
all the guys from the office
and our clients will be at the exhibition.
I'm a little embarrassed
for everyone to see…
What?
They'll see…
Bobo.
What Bobo?
Your Bobo?
No, Bob the Builder.
Of course my Bobo.
No,
you actually thought
I sculpted Bobo?
There's the thing itself
and the circles down there.
There are three circles, Gili.
Even worse.
Looks like a medical problem.
I can see my boss saying,
"Gili, go get that checked."
You should check something else,
like why everything
reminds you of Bobo.
Seriously.
Start thinking about other stuff.
Read some books, jog.
Okay, if it's not Bobo,
-what is it?
-Basically,
it's the image of a tree
that's been uprooted, like you,
and replanted on a riverbed,
which is the pebbles,
not Bobo's friends.
I've never seen a tree like that.
It's just long and erect.
Forget it, doesn't matter.
Call the office, tell them
I'm leaving the exhibition.
That's too bad.
But if that's what you want…
I just think you should
emphasize that it's a tree.
Just…
add some branches and leaves.
A couple of oranges hanging.
But on top, honey,
not down below.
Oh, Yaakov,
I'm glad you're here. Listen.
I want to throw you
a surprise party,
so I thought I'd get the Dudaim
to perform,
but one Dude is dead.
Then I thought, the Parvarim!
But they split up.
So want me to get one Parvar?
But now it's not a surprise.
There's a great new duo
called Lolik and Bebaleh,
I hear they're wonderful.
I don't like the sound of "Bebaleh."
It's my 70th birthday.
I want to tear up the town,
feel the wind in my hair.
Like at 60 when you wanted
to swim across the Kinneret
and after two hours we had
to pull you out with an inner tube?
Nitza, the Kinneret
can get very stormy.
Or at 50 when you said,
"Let's climb the Swiss Alps."
And we flew to the Alps.
Yes, and we sat
in our cabin and ate granola all day.
We could've done that up north.
So now at 70
you're turning into Tarzan?
Even when you were young,
everyone went to the paratroopers,
but you were a clerk.
-A clerk? -Yes.
-I was a bookkeeper.
You know how much money
went through my hands?
I couldn't be a paratrooper
because of my flat feet.
That's right,
blame your flat feet.
For my 70th birthday,
I want to get myself a skydiving course.
I'll get you a recliner
and you'll…
dive right into it.
Nitza, it's always been my dream.
I was the only pencil pusher around.
-Bentzi makes fun of me to this day.
-Who cares?
You have to die
because of some fatso in Australia?
No one dies from skydiving.
Hannah Senesh?
She landed safely,
but right on the Gestapo's HQ.
People get heart attacks
while they're skydiving.
The chute doesn't open,
neither does the reserve,
then the strings get all entangled.
Don't be ridiculous.
You know what?
-I'll get myself a skydiving course.
-Suit yourself.
There's one in Beer Sheva
and one in Haifa.
Do you mind where?
I don't mind where you die.
So you won't be crying
at my funeral.
You know the slightest thing
makes me cry.
Since when do you watch MTV, Mom?
Sometimes they put on
nice songs at night.
What happened?
Why did you come home
in the middle of the night?
We just went to the movies
and then to the beach.
The beach?
Why…
Since when do you go to the beach?
I go sometimes,
we live in Netanya after all.
Is there anything to eat?
I'm starving.
Why eat in the middle of the night?
I'm hungry. Never mind,
I'll go take a shower.
A shower?!
If your father were alive,
this wouldn't be happening.
But I took showers
when Dad was alive, too.
Ortal.
You scared me.
We need to talk.
-What?
-I want us to talk openly.
Okay.
Why aren't you talking?
About what?
Everything.
Like what?
-Like what?
-Yeah, like what?
You know what?
Fine, don't talk to me.
Good night.
I tried.
Here.
Pass them on.
Wow, so many pages.
It's only skydiving,
what's the big deal?
Lots of things can happen.
People get heart attacks while skydiving,
they swallow their tongue,
their eyes roll back.
Sometimes two chutes get entangled.
No way,
that's just a myth.
That's what happened
to our instructor Yiftach.
So did he stop skydiving?
No, he still dives.
They put him back together,
he's Mr. Platinum.
Jump!
I forgot,
when do I fold my legs?
Before you land, then roll,
so they don't break.
Jump!
Wait!
Which side do I roll to?
I forgot to tell you,
I have flat feet.
I have flat feet!
Look at those youngsters,
what were we thinking?
I actually can't wait,
I've done bungee jumping, rafting,
I climbed the Alps.
So did I.
Those cabins down below are great,
but my wife and kids are worried,
you know.
-I'm single, I do whatever I want.
-Yeah,
because no one
cares about you.
What's up, Flatfoot?
Can you do it this time without crying?
Tamari, don't take it to heart.
So Gili doesn't like it,
big deal,
-he's no art expert.
-What can I say,
I'm bummed.
He's my inspiration.
I think I'll just let it go.
No way!
I've already invited people
to the exhibition.
Nitza, I've decided not to skydive.
What? Why?
It worries your mother.
Great, Mom.
Let him live a little.
He has a dream,
let him do what he wants for once.
Sometimes she lets me do
what I want.
My whole life
I've let you do what you want.
No, Mom, he always does
what you want.
Don't eat watermelon,
it gives you gas.
Have some melon.
Why are you reading obituaries
in the morning? It makes you depressed.
Come on, Mom,
be on his side for once.
I am on his side,
that's why I don't let him do such things.
Tamari, you stay out of it.
This whole skydiving business
is silly.
It scares your mother
and I don't want to upset her.
Really, Yankaleh?
I'm so happy to hear that.
At the end of the day,
what do we have in life?
Each other.
Your father is so sweet.
Yaakov,
look straight into my eyes.
You're going to do this,
big time!
You're going to skydive!
I'll be there,
Tamar and Gili will be there,
the whole family,
all your friends,
we'll all stand there and yell:
Hip-hip-hooray!
Nitza, that won't be necessary.
Say thank you and shut up,
my little paratrooper.
-Gili, hi.
-Hi.
Does your wife know
we need the sculpture by Thursday?
Yes, yes…
But she's not sure
she'll be exhibiting it.
Could you take a look?
What do you think?
Impressive.
What's so impressive?
It's like a cypress tree
with the top cut off.
It must be an image of you
and your immigration experience.
Wow, the pebbles
are really moving.
And the connotation
is totally universal.
Tamari always has a connotation.
Honey.
What, darling?
Sweetie…
I wanted to apologize
for what I said about the sculpture.
I love you
and you're so talented.
Come here, you angel.
I overreacted, too.
And I admit
that I have a hard time with criticism,
but I listened to you
and I changed something.
Great, and you'll exhibit it?
Of course.
You were right.
Not everyone's into art and
I want people to understand it's a tree.
What?
Now it's too obvious
that it's a tree?
No, not at all.
See the root here?
-Oh, that's the root?
-Yeah.
-Nice.
-Yeah.
You know,
I gave it a lot of thought,
and there was something
about that neutral gray that…
No, it's better like this.
Gili,
you have to talk to Ortal.
You can't just barge in here.
What if I was naked?
Who walks around naked
at four o'clock?
Wait, why did you cover it?
I still want to get it wet.
My mom should see it
when it's done,
at the exhibition.
You're right.
I'll take it to the studio.
I want to get it wet.
Leave the shirt on it
the whole way.
So it'll be a surprise
for everyone.
Gili,
you have to talk to Ortal about Shlomi.
I couldn't.
She's very closed off.
Did you tell her…
it's okay to…
and if she needs…
I tried, but I can't talk to her
like I can talk to you.
What can I tell her?
That your father and I
were very naughty?
Naughty in the river,
at our favorite tree, on the swing…
No, no, Mom,
talk to her, not me.
But I can talk to you about anything,
we're like friends…
No, Mom, we're not like friends,
we're like mother and son.
I can't handle the image of Dad
on the swing in my mind.
But I'm worried about your sister.
In Ethiopia no one had papilloma.
People just died,
people didn't know from what.
What do I know about papilloma?
It's a new virus.
-Then who am I supposed to talk to?
-I don't know,
go see Dr. Papilloma!
Alamito, we made a mistake
by starting with the papilloma.
After all, we don't want Ortal
to be afraid of sex.
-No?
-No.
Sex is a wonderful thing.
It awakens all your senses,
a beautiful thing between two people.
I brought a few guidebooks on sex.
I was a teacher for 30 years,
I taught every life skill there is.
No, Nitza, dear God,
I can't show her
these pictures,
-it's embarrassing.
-Come on.
Take a look.
Do you know this position?
Yes, that's a good one.
A very good one.
This one is more complicated.
Do you know it?
Oh, I know it, all right.
But it's better
the other way around.
The other way around?
What do you mean?
Only people who do
Ashtanga yoga could do that.
On the contrary, if you do it a lot,
you don't have to do yoga.
Oh, please,
you're just patronizing me.
I wouldn't survive doing the splits.
Depends how you go about it.
Look, there's a little trick.
If I go about it like that,
there's no way back, are you kidding me?
My head would never reach that point.
I'm telling you,
I did it nine months pregnant.
-Really? -Yes.
-This I've got to see.
No problem.
I'll lie down here.
Come show me.
This I've got to see.
Alamito, hurry,
this isn't easy!
It's better if you do it
with high heels.
You wore high heels in Addis Ababa
when you were 9 months pregnant?
Beyonce!
-Now I'll slide my leg next to yours.
-Hey,
-it's not like this in the book.
-Nitza, if the other person is negative,
you can't do anything.
-For good sex you have to think positive.
-I think positive!
-Have an open mind.
-I have an open mind!
-And a little patience…
-Ouch!
Mom, how are you…
Gili, it's not what you think.
At least lock the door.
It's high, I knew it.
I'm just afraid
that the air is thin up there
and my veins will constrict,
and then I'm a dead man.
You have the blood pressure
of a 30-year-old.
-Who drinks and smokes?
-You're fine.
Let's check your eyesight.
One, four, eight,
three, five, seven…
We've got a sniper,
not a paratrooper.
A hearing test
and we're done.
Actually, Doctor,
I don't hear too well in this ear.
Could it be a balance thing?
Hold on, it's from overseas.
Hello?
Bentzi, yes.
What?
All the way from Australia?
Everyone?
Oh, Nitza invited you.
Okay, I have to go.
I see you hear very well in that ear.
I'd send you to the paratroopers
in a flash.
Doctor, you're sending a 70-year-old
with high blood pressure
who's blind and deaf to skydive?
Issue me a death certificate
and get it over with.
Doctor,
how's my paratrooper?
The doctor's not too sure.
Health-wise,
there's no problem.
That's what I wanted to hear.
Seriously, it's my life dream.
-I wouldn't give it up for anything.
-There's no need to.
I just wanted Nitza to hear that.
Now I can rest assured.
She called it Gili,
but it's not me.
She didn't sculpt me.
It was gray originally.
But why did she turn you into a tower?
You're not that tall.
Oh, you see a tower?
Nice.
A lighthouse that emits light.
I was actually thinking
of a watchtower.
Because of the sandbags
we'd put down below.
A watchtower's good, too.
It's not a tower or a watchtower,
what's with you two?
Don't you see what it is?
What do you think it is?
A tree.
A tree planted on a riverbed
and those are the pebbles.
-You know what else it could be?
-No, that's okay.
Tree, that's the correct answer.
Tamar told me.
Good, let's move on.
What does that look like to you?
-It's a fire extinguisher.
-Yes.
Good, a fire extinguisher.
Come on.
THE SECRET OF SENSUAL LOVE
Anyway, I haven't read the book yet,
but I hear it's very good.
Here, read it.
Shall we watch the movie now?
No, Mom, enough!
Just a few minutes.
We don't have to see how it ends.
The body is a very sensual vessel
and there are
several pleasure centers
that we should get to know
before making love.
Shlomi, it was her idea,
not mine!
I'm late for Bnei Akiva!
Nowadays you can get
the papilloma vaccine, too!
Mom, what is wrong with you?
I saw that you wanted to talk to me
and I thought if you're not open with me,
I'll be open with you.
Talk to you about what, Mom?
I don't want to have sex.
-Shlomi knows the laws of touching.
-Really?
Yes, and now he'll be observant
of the law of seeing, too.
No, don't bother,
you won't see anything anyway.
You won't be able to tell me
from the other skydivers.
Yaakov, I'm bringing binoculars
for everyone.
If it rains,
the whole thing's called off.
It did rain once in August.
Bye.
Surprise!
I believe I can fly
Yaakov, you're one helluva guy
Nitza, have you lost your mind?
You invited everyone?
And what's with the shirts?
You've been waiting for this
for 50 years!
That's why I'm stressed.
When I'm up there,
everyone'll be looking at me,
so instead of focusing on the jump,
I'll be worried about how I look!
So you don't want everyone to come?
No.
Just the family?
No, I don't want the family to come.
Just me?
No, I don't want you to come.
So you want to be up there
all alone?
I don't want to be up there either!
How did you let this happen?
I thought
it's what you wanted!
Since when do you care what I want?
You think I know what I want?
You always know what I want.
Wait, you want me
to get you out of this?
Yes, that's the Nitza I love.
What'll I tell everyone?
Tell them you won't let me,
that you're worried,
that I could die up there.
Again I'm the meanie
who doesn't let her husband do anything.
Yes, but you're my meanie.
That's what I want most
for my birthday.
It's like an uprooted tree.
It's about the occupation.
Whenever you see an uprooted tree,
you think of Arabs.
Are we not all a tree?
You? Me?
Amazing.
Tamar sculpted a tree
and it sparked a lot of debate.
That means it's good.
Everyone sees it
as a different tree
and each tree takes you
somewhere else.
What tree?
I don't see a tree.
What I see is embarrassing.
Don't invite me
to such things.
You don't see the tree?
You made it bigger,
it's not the right size. What a show-off.
No, no, you don't understand.
It's a tree
and these are pebbles.
Is that what yours looks like?
Go to the doctor
and get that checked.
-Honey…
-Huh?
Someone just bought the sculpture.
-No way.
-Yes.
-Good job.
-Thank you. -Good job.
Thank you.
I'm so happy.
Thank God,
we won't have to see it anymore.
Amen.
-Okay, Yaakov, are you with me?
-Yes.
-Okay, focus. We can do it.
-Yes.
-If Alamito can, so can we.
-Okay.
-Give me your hand.
-Here. -Good.
Brace yourself…
-I got you!
-Okay. -Good.
Can you do a bridge stretch
at the same time?
-I'll try.
-Okay.
-Slowly.
-A bridge stretch. I'll help you.
-Ah!
-What happened?
My back went out.
I decided to buy
Gili's wife's sculpture
first of all
because of the connection,
but mostly because of the message--
that we should bloom like a tree
and try to reach the sky.
-Very nice.
-You like it?
No, but I'm glad to see
you're circumcised.
There's a problem here.
If we hear the accent,
so do kids in kindergarten.
Oh, no, then they'll find out
she's Ethiopian.
She has a problem with the D.
D.
She has a problem
with Z, T and S, too.
What does that leave me with?
N?
Mom, why am I wearing
a JDL shirt?
There were elections,
they were handing them out,
that's what you got.
Nowadays it's trendy to add
your last name to his,
so it would be
Tamar Agassi Chalacho.
And you can add Agassi, too.
Gili Agassi Chalacho
or Gili Chalacho Agassi
or Gili Agassi.
Sounds like a pilot.
A dozen dim ding-dongs.
What was that?
An accent, that's what.
Doug digs dirty dugouts.
Accent?
No, not at all.
Okay, but it's not tick.
Thick, not "tick."
But I don't sound
like a new immigrant.
Sound, not "sound."
Don't do that.
"Don't do that."
Don't do that!
Don't do that!
Fine, I'll keep my mouth shut.