Naked Attraction (2016–…): Season 8, Episode 2 - Kelly & Carlo - full transcript

Kelly from Brighton is in need of some TLC, but she's unsure whether she's looking for a man or a woman. Steeplejack Carlo from Somerset is looking for the perfect woman after surviving leukaemia.

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In a time when your online
profile defines who,

how and where you date,

we strip away the likes and
the swipes

leaving only the unfiltered truth,

as we have a more instinctive way to
find love.

Can picking a partner based solely
on natural beauty...

Oh. Wowzers. OK.

..help you find the one?

Oh! Wow.

This is the first time I have seen
a vagina.

Yeehaw. Whoa-ha-ha!

We like to start where a good
date ends.

Time to see some poon-poon.

Naked.

Tonight a finance manager,
a veterinary nurse,

and a dancer

let it all hang out for their
potential soulmates.

Come on. Let's see them.

They look like they've got
babies in there.

What is that?

Lick the lizard.

Right, I'm looking for the dick that
I want to suck for the first time.

Would that hurt me though?

I had 17 piercings.

You had...

I've only got six now.

♪ Drama! ♪

I've never had a tit-wank before.

We know it's what's on the inside
that counts.

He can make his cock move.

Oh, my God.

But you've got to like what's on the
outside first.

Woo!

You're what I call sex on legs.

They're bangers, innit?

So you're the queen of the blowjob?

Blimey.

It's time to try dating in reverse.

This is Naked Attraction.

Welcome to Naked Attraction,

the dessert trolley of British
dating shows, with flapjacks,

pink wafers, spotted dick,
and plenty of clotted cream.

Inside each of these six pods,

I've lined up a naked singleton.

Only one of them will be
picked to go on a date,

but who's doing the choosing?

Hi, I'm Kelly,

27, from Brighton.

For years, I was dead set on
being straight,

but I met a girl at work and I fell
for her.

Now, I consider myself as a
bisexual woman.

People think I'm greedy, but I'm
just open minded.

Now, if I'm in the street and I
see someone

that's got a good pair of tits,
I'm like, ooh, that's a bit of me.

I am actually a carer.

So, I care for elderly.

I care for people, end of life.

I feel like for me, in my job,
it can be quite demanding.

At the end of the day, I just want
to go home, have a cup of tea

and have a cuddle.

I want someone to look after me.

Being bisexual can be
quite difficult,

but I'm still looking for love.

Naked Attraction, I can be quite
full-on.

Help me find someone that can
handle me.

So, Kelly, hello.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you.

Tell me, how is such a gorgeous,
caring woman like you single?

To be honest, I'm quite picky.

Are you?

I need a bit of excitement
in my life.

And also you can't decide, can you,
at the minute?

"I like boys, I like girls."

You've really got the pick of the
whole gang.

Yeah, the world's my oyster.

So, why do you want to pick
somebody naked?

If you have the confidence to come
on the show, you're my cup of tea.

So, you're after, whoever they are,
they've got to have balls,

as it were?

Oh, 100%.

That's what attracts me to this,
I think.

Yeah. Yeah. OK.

Shall we play the game?

Yes, please. Are you ready?

Yes.

So, Kelly, in front of you, you can
see six coloured pods.

Inside each of them is a
naked individual,

boys and girls,

totally in the buff for you.

Oh!

And they each have an attribute that
you have said

you find physically attractive.

We're going to reveal them to you
bit by bit.

All you need to do is whittle these
people down from six to one,

using naked attraction alone.

Oh, it's going to be difficult.

Right. Shall we play the game?

Yes.

So, can we please reveal the bottom
half of the bodies, please?

Oi-oi!

Oh, wow.

Lovely jubbly.

Three girls, three boys.

Spoilt for choice.

I like this one.

Red?

She's got a bit of character to her,
hasn't she?

Got some nice pins as well.
I'm loving the legs.

How are you feeling about
this vulva?

Oh, it looks lovely.

She looks like she looks
after herself.

She likes to keep it nice and tidy.

That's my cup of tea.

OK. Moving on.

I like this one, actually.

Pink? This reminds me of my ex.

Just the way his penis falls.

Quite a fair pair of clackers.

Oh, yeah. I do like a pair of balls.

Always love squeezing them,
love licking them.

Oh, I love it.

Pink, do you like your balls
being squeezed?

Not a squeeze, but maybe like just
a gentle grope, then.

Yeah, not...

A gentle grope is all right, but not
a hard squeeze and a tug.

Where else do you want to go now?

OK, let's go over here.

Orange. I'm loving the strip.

Oh, she's really, really taken
care of herself, hasn't she?

She really has.

Tell me about... because you've not
had loads of experience with women,

have you? No, I haven't.

When I first fingered a girl,
she coughed and it squeezed

my fingers, and it was the weirdest
feeling, and I screamed, like.

That's a hell of a grip.

It is. I was like, I need to
whip them out now.

But it didn't put you off?

It didn't. I learnt how to like it.

So, you weren't put off by the
cough grip?

No. It was quite humorous, actually.

Where do you want to go next?

I think I'm going to go for blue.

They've all got such neat vaginas.

Yeah.

I've got an outie.

We've got innies going on here.

Yes.

Very nice and tucked.

Right, yellow.

Hello. Oh, I like that.

He's got a bit of character.

I'm not used to a circumcised willy.

Are you not?

I don't know if I'd know how to,
like, pleasure a circumcised willy.

I think it might be a little bit
more sensitive.

Hurray! Oh, he is.

And obviously a nice tight
set of balls there.

Would you like to tug on those?

Oh, yeah.

And they're a very healthy
colour as well.

He can tense them as well, look.

God, he really can as well.

He can. And he can make his
cock move.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Well done, yellow.

I'm liking that talent.

So, we've just got green left.

Definitely interesting.

Nice tight balls.

I am probably used to bigger balls.

I mean, do balls grow?

I don't think they grow.

I think it depends on what stuff
they have in them.

What, how much jizz?

Yeah. Like, if they need to explode.

OK. Kelly, it is decision time.

One of these bods has got to go.

Okey dokey.

Oh, this is difficult.

I think...

Green.

Why are you binning off green?

It's just the balls.

I would like them to be a little
bit bigger.

So, Kelly, you're saying a fond
farewell to Gavin.

He's 34.

He is a finance manager
from Sheffield.

Oh. So, Gavin, pop down.

Come and say hi.

There we go, Gavin.

Ah, I shouldn't have sorted myself
out last night.

I'm daft.

It's all gone.

Is that what happened?

Take yourself and your empty balls
through that archway.

Bye.

It's not a date for me today,

but I should have kept my hands off
my balls

last night in the hotel room,

and maybe it would have been a
different scenario.

So, you've still got five
people remaining.

Three girls, two fellas.

Yes.

OK. Can we see the middle
part of the bodies, please?

My God.

That is what I'm talking about.

I like yellow.

I'm loving the hair.

Straight in.

I like his nipples as well.

I do like to squeeze them a bit,
and rub them.

I keep saying squeeze like I'm going
to, like, torture them.

You squeeze the balls, now you're
squeezing the nipples.

They're going to get scared.

OK. Red.

Oh, she's got lovely boobs.

Perfect grabbing boobs, aren't they?

Like, you just want to give them
a squeeze.

Do you like your boobs
being squeezed?

Mm. Loving that, definitely.

OK. Where next?

Here.

Orange.

I'm loving the piercings.

She has got a lovely pair of boobs.

They're just perfect.

And mine are quite big, like,
I like having big boobs,

but I think she's maybe a B cup,
a B?

Oh. Yes.

You know your bra sizes, don't you?

I do. I used to be a bra fitter.

And I gather you worked in a
sex shop?

Yeah.

You must have some stories.

Yes, I've got a really good
one, actually.

Go on.

So, me and my best friend, we've got
all these sex toys around us,

and we were like "Shall we have a
wank race?"

I had this big wand. Yeah.

And she had a little clit-stim.

And who came off first?

I did, but I mean...

Well done.

..I did have the wand.

So, what would your ideal date be?

I like a bit of banter.

Like, I don't mind it when people
take the piss out of me either.

So, you like banter,
you like a bit of play?

Yes. And you like a bit of a dance?

Oh, I love a dance.

Have you got the moves?

I do. I think I do.

Oh, yeah. She's got the, oh,
she's got the booty.

A recent study at the University
of Northumbria

discovered the exact dance moves to
attract the opposite sex.

Men prefer women who swing
their hips,

which is a sign of fertility,

and they tend to do this more during
the fertile stage of their cycle.

Women are drawn to men who move
their upper bodies and neck,

and - for some reason -
their right knee.

And the more testosterone,
the flashier the dancer.

But, then, we kind of knew that,
didn't we?

Right.

Let's find out from the bods in the
pods how well they can move.

So, if you're going to impress her,

I'm afraid you need to bust
out some moves.

♪ All the single ladies

♪ All the single ladies... ♪

Oh, I love it. She's going for it.

♪ Up in the club, just broke up

♪ I'm doing my own little thing. ♪

Oh, check out pink.

Oh, he's got some moves. I love it.

He's got some moves.

Woo!

I love pink.

And blue.

Well done, gang.
Oh, they're amazing.

That was super impressive.

Very impressed.

Based on the dancing,
who were you impressed with?

Pink.

Whilst he was dancing, I'm like,
that's a bit of me.

That is my cup of tea.

So, it's decision time.

It's getting difficult.

Yellow.

Yellow?

I was more impressed with everyone
else's dance moves.

Kelly... Mm.

..you are saying farewell to
lovely Oliver.

He's 24.

He's a wine shop
manager from Farnham.

Ooh. Oliver, come and say hello
to us.

Oh, hello. I'm loving the
hair - gorgeous.

Is Kelly your kind of girl?

Yeah, 100%, very pretty.

Oh, thank you. Ditto. Oh, no!

Take yourself and your twitchy
willy through the arches.

Bye.

Not a date for me today.

Didn't appreciate my dance moves.

There wasn't any drum and bass,
so...

Coming up...

..Kelly bares all before choosing
who to date.

Give us a spin.

And a brand-new singleton gets to
pick a partner

based on naked attraction.

OK.

Earlier, bisexual carer Kelly

whittled six bodies down to four,

based on naked attraction alone.

She can only choose one of them
to go on that date.

So, who will she lose next?

That is what I'm talking about.

So, Kelly, just remind us
before we carry on,

why are you here?

I've dated a mixture of people.

Men, women.

I want to settle down. OK.

I want to find my one and only.

Could be a boy or a girl.
Could be a boy or a girl.

OK. This is where you get to see
the people's faces.

Wow. But remember, they can also see
you.

I know! SHE LAUGHS

OK. Here we go.

Can we please reveal
the people's faces?

Wow.

Who has immediately drawn your eye?

This one.

Orange. She has amazing hair.

Wow, loving the hair.

I really love, like, her make-up.

She looks cuddly. I love a cuddle.

And you look like you
like a cuddle as well.

I think I'm going to go to blue.

I love your face. You've got such a
nice smile.

She's really, really beautiful.

OK.

Pink.

Love his face.

Oh, and a great smile that
he's got as well.

And a nice pair of teeth.

OK, which leaves us
with beautiful red.

I love her shoulders, and the
tattoos are really impressive.

She's certainly very quirky.

A lovely smile.

You know, you seem to me
sort of open-minded

and really adventurous and bubbly.
Yeah.

I'll give anything a go once.
I like a bit of dogging. Oh!

I've never done it before
but I'd love to do it.

So, you want to be the person
that is being shagged?

I want to be the person that is
being shagged

because I like someone that's
dominant, but I want to watch people
while I'm doing it.

Dogging got its name from people who
were out walking the dog

and got an unexpected eyeful.

A recent survey
claimed 43% of Brits

had got down and dirty in a public
place,

with hot spots found
in South London, Kent,

the north,
Scotland, and well, everywhere.

But top dog for dogging is
Yorkshire.

However, be wary, as a bonk
in the open air could incur a fine.

So, perhaps best to get a room.

It's time to make a decision.

OK.

OK.

I think I'm going to go for blue.

Why blue?

The make-up's probably a bit too
similar to me.

I think we might fight
over, like, make-up and stuff.

OK. Well, Kelly... Mm.

..you are saying goodbye to Dee.

She's 25.

She's a hospitality
worker from Somerset.

Ooh. Dee, pop down, say hello.

Hi, Dee.

You've got a lovely smile.

Aw, thank you.

Dee, farewell.

Have fun. You too.

Kelly didn't pick me for a date,
which I'm gutted about.

Like, I would have happily
shared my make-up,

and especially her wand with her.

OK. In this next round,

you get to hear the bodies speak.

OK. How important is voice to you?

Oh, I love an accent.

What do you like? Scottish, Irish.

For me, that can be a game changer.

Oh, right.

So, gang, as you know,

Kelly is no stranger to a sex toy.

So, if you were a sex toy,

what would you be and why?

Who do you want to go to first?

Red. Red.

So, if I was a sex toy, I would be
one of the remote variety,

cos I know I can stimulate you
from a distance

without even touching you.

Ooh!

I like that. I like the confidence.

I like her voice. It's quite posh.

OK. Who do you want to go to next?

Pink. Come on, then.

What sort of sex toy are you, fella?

I would probably be a bullet,

cos I'm short and sweet.

Mm. Oh, lovely.

OK. Does that appeal to you?

Oh, yeah, definitely. The accent
definitely does.

Which leaves us
with our beautiful orange. Yeah.

What sex toy would you be,
orange, and why?

I would be a love egg, because I'm
fun and always on the go.

Ooh!

I like that.

She's got a very nice,
delicate voice.

Now, you've seen anything they've
got, you've heard them speak.

One of these bods has got to go.

I think...

..I'm going to have to go with red.

Why red?

Her voice is a little bit too posh
for me,

in comparison to my voice.

Well, Kelly,
you are saying goodbye to Kate.

She's 39 and she's a veterinary
nurse from Taunton.

Aw. She's so kind.

Come down, Kate. Oh, really?

Is Kelly your kind of girl?

She is, yeah. I tend to go for
petite women who are really pretty,

and she's beautiful, so, yeah.
Aww, thank you. So are you.

Thank you. Thank you, Kate.

Off you go. Thank you. Bye. Bye.

I'm really gutted. Sadly for her,
she's missed out,

because we could have
been in pussy heaven.

Now, you have seen everything
they've got.

I think it's only fair... Of course.

..that they see what
you're like in the buff.

Yeah, of course. Kick those heels
off, lady.

Not a problem. Off you go.
See you in a bit.

Based on naked attraction,

Kelly has whittled six singletons
down to two.

26-year-old delivery driver Adam

and 23-year-old marketing
assistant Sarah.

But she can only choose one of them
to go on that date

to find out if there's
chemistry when the clothes go on.

So, Adam, Sarah, hello.

You've made it to the final two.

Now, last time you saw the lovely
Kelly,

she had her clothes on.

All of that is about to change.

Are you ready to see
her in the nude?

Come on then, lady.

Show us what you've got.

♪ Girls who want boys

♪ Who like boys to be girls... ♪

Oh, I say.

Hello. Hello.

Hi. Hi.

What a cracking pair of boobs you've
got. Oh, thank you.

First of all, what do
you like about your own body?

I like my boobs.

You say you've got an outie vag?

Yes, I've got an outie.

Let's have a look. Yeah.

Adam, what do you like about Kelly's
body?

I like your boobs
and your bum, for me.

That's perfect. Good. Thank you.

I love her boobs and her bum
and her smile.

OK. So, how do you
feel about Kelly's outie?

All fannies are beautiful.

There we go. Two stunning people.

Yeah. But only one of them can be
your date.

So, you're either going to go with
Adam or with Sarah.

You're now choosing
the person you want.

Oh, it's so hard.

I really like you both.

I think I'm going to have
to go...

..with Adam.

Why Adam in the end?

It's the accent.
It just topped it for me.

Sarah, I'm so sorry, take your
beautiful self

through the arches. Thank you.

See you later, my love.

I am a little bit gutted

cos she does seem really lovely.

I hope they have fun together

cos they seem like they would
suit each other a lot.

How are you both feeling?

Excited. I'm really happy with my
choice.

So, listen, you've seen each other
with your kit off.

Next time you see each other,

it's going to be fully clothed
and on a date. Mm-hm.

Enjoy yourselves,
guys, have a good night.

Thank you. Thank you.
See you later. Bye.

I'm proper looking
forward to the date.

I think we're quite similar.

We're both like outspoken,
quite bubbly.

So, yeah, I think it should be good.

He seems like quite a dominant
person.

So, that and his accent together,

I think that'll just make my fanny
flutter a bit.

Our couple wanted to have a
proper, romantic date

so we made sure they tested
negative for Covid first.

Hello. You all right?
I'm good. How are you?

I'm wonderful, thank you. Give me a
cuddle. You look nice.

I like your top. Thank you.

Oh, you smell really nice as well.
Thanks.

I really liked his style actually.

He's clean, he smells nice.

So, when I heard your accent,

I was like, "Oh, my God,"
like, that's a bit of me.

You like that, did you?
Yeah, I loved it.

When you started speaking I was like
"Oh, he's a bit like a farmer."

I know. Ah, he's a farmer!

I bet everyone says that to you.

Everybody says that to me

about being a farmer. I don't know.

Oh, I love that.

I do fancy her, yeah.

Well, she's stunning. Look at her.

All I could hope is that she feels
the same, to be honest.

When did you decide that you
like...?

Women? Yeah.

I did not know who I was
until, like, this past year.

The fact that she's bisexual,
it doesn't bother me at all.

You know, at the end of the day,

she had the choice to
choose between a man and a woman.

She chose a man.

So, for me, whenever I go on like
first dates now, I'm just me, like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if they don't
like it, then that's fair enough.

They can stuff it then, can't they?

I'm loving it. I'm really enjoying
myself.

He's ticking all the boxes.

We should go for another drink
somewhere, then. 100%.

Let's go.

♪ Cos I found you... ♪

You can put your arm around me
if you want. My arm was there.

I ain't going to cry. Yeah, my arm
was there.

I fancy him a lot

and he's being a bit reserved.

Like, I want him
to give me a bit more.

Just wanted to hold off,

make her work for it a little bit.

I've had a threesome before.

Yeah, me and my mate. I'm livid.

So if he doesn't like me,
he doesn't like me,

but I think he does like me,
secretly.

He's playing hard to get.

How can you have already had
a threesome

and not have already kissed me?

And then eventually, I...

..just let it happen.

Right, come on, then.

I can honestly say that was probably

the best kiss I've probably ever
had.

The date is going amazing.

He's kissed me,

so I'm on to a winner.

Hello. You all right?

Yeah, you? Yeah, I'm good, ta.

Oh.

How's it going? Yeah, I'm good. Are
you OK? Yeah, I'm good.

Good. So, how did the date go?

Really well. I think it went really
well.

We had a lot to chat about.

Yeah, we did. Literally.
Lots and lots to chat about.

I messaged her to make sure that
Kelly got home safely,

and then we just carried on chatting
from there,

just sending videos and
voice notes.

Seeing each other, aren't we?

Yeah, we're seeing each other,
seeing how it goes. Yeah.

Start of a relationship. Yeah.

There's not a lot to
not like about Kelly... Aw.

..to be honest.

She's beautiful.

And she's funny. She's loud.

I like someone that's being loud
and out there.

I love...

..his smile.

Decent.

You're a decent bloke.

So, has the L word been
mentioned at all between you or not?

Oh, no, it's too soon.

We've said we like each other.

We've used that L word, right?

We've said that L word, yeah. Yeah.

I definitely think I could, though.

Welcome back to Naked Attraction,
the alternative version of

The Great Pottery Throw Down -

with plenty of jugs, cracks and bone
china.

Now, inside each of these six pods,
I've lined up a naked singleton.

Only one of them will be
picked to go on a date.

Who's choosing this time?

I'm Carlo, I'm 28 years old,

and I'm from Somerset, my lovely.

Can you tell?

I work as a steeplejack.

At height, we carry out stone works,
re-pointing works,

anything like that, really.

I think it's sexy being in a harness
with all your tools

hanging off you, but I've
never had any women eyeing me up.

I don't think they find it hot.

Back in 2014, I was diagnosed with
acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.

You're suddenly not a fit and
healthy, you know, man any more.

You're fighting for your life.

While I was receiving treatment,
I was with my fiance,

who I'd been with for ten years,

and I decided it wasn't fair

and it wasn't right to go ahead
with the wedding.

I'm fully back to good health.
I'm taking life by the balls.

I love rock climbing because of the
challenge it gives you.

You're always battling with yourself
and your limits,

not only physically but mentally.

It'd be nice to meet someone who
loves the outdoors

and who had a passion for adventure
and living life to the full.

Hopefully I'll be able to find
someone who finds

me and my harness sexy.

So, Carlo, hello, welcome to the
show. Thank you.

I think that you're our first-ever
steeplejack.

We are very rare.

There's not very many of us.

So how long have you been
single for?

About two years now.

So, I was in a long-term
relationship for ten years. OK.

And then I just got the leukaemia.

When I had all my health come back,
I kind of re-evaluated life

and what it was that I truly wanted.

So, you're actually lucky
to be here?

Yeah, very lucky.

How do you feel about meeting
a lady naked?

Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?

Just give it a bash
and see what happens.

Let's play the game.

In front of you,
you have got six coloured pods,

each of which contains a totally
naked lady, and they each

have a physical attribute that you
have told us you find attractive.

We're going to reveal them to you
bit by bit,

all you need to do is whittle them
down from six to one,

just using naked attraction alone.

Lovely stuff. Can we reveal the
bottom half of the bodies, please?

OK. Cool. Right.

Let's start with green.

She's got a nice tidy little foo,
yeah.

Do you like a tidy foo?

You know what, I don't really have
too much of a preference.

As long as it's not like a doner
kebab, you know what I mean? Right.

OK, yeah. As long as it's not too...

You don't want it too messy?
Too messy. Too exposed?

Too exposed, no, but generally
sort of how they come, really.

OK. Yeah. Pink.

Is this pink? Standing a little bit
rigid.

Yeah, nice legs, nice body.
Great legs!

Yeah, great legs, I like it.

And she's got some pubes.

Yeah, it's no Jungle Jane,
so that's not going to get stuck

in your teeth when you go down for
your Sunday dinner, so that's good.

I mean, have you had any
sort of tricky moments?

When I was a young teenager,
I was down there, going to work,

and next thing I know, this girl let
out a fart in my mouth.

I take it she wasn't thrilled with
what you were doing?

I don't know what she was thinking.

I thought she just thought
it'd be funny,

and I was just in complete shock,
with fart in my mouth.

Whilst farting is considered
one of the biggest turn-offs

in the bedroom department,

there are those who just can't get
enough of their partner's wind.

The fetish is called eproctophilia,

and describes both those who are
sexually aroused by being farted on,

and those who prefer to take
the initiative and fart on others.

Does red look like she'd
fart in your mouth?

I hope not.

I hope to never relive that
experience ever again.

What are you loving about red?

She's got some pretty funky tattoos,
hasn't she? Fish.

And she's got some nice
nails as well, very nice.

Ooh. Mm. Are you into the nails?

Well, it just shows they look after
themselves, doesn't it?

Where next, please? OK. Yellow.

So, this lady is super trimmed.

Yeah, very tucked in and neat.

I've never seen a piercing like
that.

Does it go through, yellow,
or is it two different ones?

Oh, it goes through.
Ooh, it goes through.

Oh, I bet that hurt!

Right. Lovely. Blue. Blue.

Again, really tidy, tucked away.
Absolutely.

Again, standing a bit rigid, like...

OK, you can relax, blue.
You can relax.

Nice, nice.

On to orange.

Nice shape.

This is obviously a little
bit more exposed.

You know, it's not ugly.

I guess take it as it comes.

OK.

One of those girls is going
to have to go.

Well, I think I'm going
to have to go...

..for pink.

Pink?!

The only reason being, she was
very...

Rigid? Rigid.

If they're standing quite
rigid there... Yeah?

..maybe that shows their personality
is maybe a little bit shy.

I could be completely wrong here.

So, Carlo, you are saying goodbye to
Susan.

She is 36,

she's an event executive
from Manchester,

and she's lovely!

Susan, come down and say hello.

Hello, you lovely girl.

Is Carlo your kind of boy?

I would say you're normally my type.
OK. Yeah, you're clearly a fit guy.

Susan, thank you very much indeed.
Thank you.

Take yourself and your rigid body
through the arches.

Take care, my love.
See you later.

I don't even know what
a steeplejack is, so I don't

think I'd be sitting on your steeple
any time soon, but good luck.

Five ladies remaining. OK.

Let's see the middle part of the
bodies.

Ooh.

Yeah, bangers, innit?
Definitely some bangers.

Let's go to orange.

They're proper perky, aren't
they?

Do you reckon they're fake?

They are enhanced? They are.
Right.

OK, I did think so. They look
very...

What do you like to do with boobs?
Motorboat.

Do you? Every bloke loves a
motorboat, don't they?

Could you motorboat with orange?

I think you could motorboat those,
yeah.

They're a nice little handful,
aren't they?

OK. Let's go to... blue.

Lift your boobs up for a second,
blue.

What's that...? "Take your time,
there's no big rush."

Actually, she might be
spicy in the bedroom, mightn't she?

Are you spicy in the bedroom, blue?

That was a sort of...
Oh, that was a bit hesitant.

"Am I spicy in the bedroom?"
"Am I? I don't know."

OK, right, let's... Let's go on to
yellow.

They're lovely.

Nice handful. Yeah, really nice.

We haven't talked about red, Carlo.

Natural boobs. Natural boobs, yeah.
Perfect.

So, just tell me a little bit
more about your ideal date.

I guess I would like someone who's
a bit out there, bit adventurous.

As long as they've got a love
for the outdoors and adventure.

But would you quite like a girl
that might be able to rock climb
with you?

I would really, yeah.
That would be cool, wouldn't it?

Done it on the side of a cliff
before as well.

What do you mean,
by the side of a cliff?

Do you mean that you were hanging
off a ledge

and you shimmied across and gave her
a quick one from behind?

Pretty much, yeah. OK. This leads me
to a challenge, ladies.

In your pods,
you will find some climbing rope.

Make a hardness however you like,
pop it on your body,

and then mime climbing up
a cliff face.

So, in terms of technical ability,
what are you looking for, Carlo?

I guess what I'm looking for is to
go round their waist

and then like a knot. Oh...
So, they're securely in...

..yellow, she's done this before.

That's pretty impressive.

Orange has got a good knot going on.
Yeah.

Blue has handled rope before.

Red is going for... oh!

Oof, that's going to burn.

Ah! Green, that's going right up!

Wow. Yellow is going for it.

Yellow has really got
the idea of this.

I'm pleased to see that green's just
done that.

That's very tidy, though.
It's a very neat job.

Just looks a bit painful.

Orange's harness looks quite
impressive. It's got a knot on it.

Oh, red. Oh, red!

You might want to just ease off.

Top marks for using all the rope up,
though.

Well done, ladies.
This is so impressive.

OK. It is decision time.

Somebody is going to have to go.

I'm going to have to say...

..goodbye to...

..red.

Why red?

I think just a little bit too
curvy for my liking.

So, Carlo,
you are saying goodbye to Emily.

She's 21, she's a health care
assistant from Great Yarmouth.

Hello, my love.
Come and say hello.

Hello, gorgeous girl.
How are you?

I'm fine, thank you. That was very
impressive with the rope.

You used it all up. I like it.

Is Carlo your kind of fella?

Not really, no.

There you go.
Emily, abseil out of here.

It's not a date today,

but my rope tying skills won't be
used on him any time soon.

Coming up...

..Carlo bares all before choosing
who to date.

I'm going to have to pick...

Earlier, steeplejack Carlo whittled
six women down to four,

based on naked attraction alone.

He can only choose one girl
to go on that date.

So, who will he lose next?

OK. Cool.

All right. Because we've got four
girls remaining.

Now, before we carry on, just
remind us again why you're here.

You know, after being
in a relationship for ten years

and having my health come
back from leukaemia... Yeah?

..I'm ready to get back
out on the dating scene

and try something new and exciting,
and completely different.

Excellent.
We've got four ladies remaining.

Can we please reveal the ladies'
faces?

Well, actually, orange is catching
my eye.

Let's go and have a look at
orange.

Nice, really long, feminine hair.

She's got quite a feminine face,
seems nice.

All right. OK. Who next? Right.

Let's go for blue.

She seems quite, like, spicy.

Are you spicy, blue?

She's up for it. Yeah.
Blue is up for it.

OK. OK, yellow.

OK. She's giving you a lovely smile.

Not much hair.

Like, it's very, very, very short.

What about the face?
Because she is a beautiful girl.

Lovely face, yeah.
Really nice face, really pretty.

Green's all lonely.
She's on her own over here.

I know. Poor old green.

Nice. Nice looks.

Yeah, pretty, yeah.
Definitely pretty, yeah.

What do you like to get up
to in the bedroom?

Oh, I do have a
bit of a spicy sex life.

You've got to have all the toys.

Really? Bit of role-play.
Really? Yeah.

What's been your favourite role?

Naughty school boy, ain't it?

Could this lady be your
headmistress?

Carlo's not alone in wanting to
be teacher's pet.

The fetish is called
didaskaleinophilia,

derived from the Greek, "didasko,"
meaning, "to teach."

Amazon lists nearly 5,000 erotic
books containing the words

"sexy teacher,"

and with under 25s 80% more likely
to search for "sexy teacher"

porn online, it's no wonder Carlo
has the hots for a headmistress.

OK, it is decision time.

One of them has to go.

I think...

....yellow.

Why yellow?

It's just the hair.
It's just the hair.

I like a bit more hair to
kind of pull when you're, you know,

in the bedroom, getting a bit saucy.

So, Carlo, you are saying goodbye to
the gorgeous Chanelle.

She's 28, she's a model from London.

Chanelle, come and say hello.

Hello, my love, you all right?

Would he be your kind of boy?

I like more of the big body
builders, but he's OK.

He's a great looking guy who will
find what he's looking for.

Chanelle, thank you very much
indeed. Goodnight.

Carlo, you don't like women with
short hair,

but FYI,
bald women are much more fun.

Three girls remain.

In this round, Carlo,
you get to hear the girls speak.

Ooh. I've heard on the grapevine,
you're a bit of a poet.

I do have one for you,
funnily enough.

You've got one for me?

There once was a lady called Anna,

who was always
the picture of glamour,

but I gave her a shock,
and showed her my cock,

and all the camera crew
had to fan her.

I haven't seen your cock yet.
We'll have to see. Well, there we
go.

Oh, that's lovely. Thank you very
much indeed, Carlo.

Not a problem. So, ladies, give us
your best romantic verse to try

and seduce Carlo.

Let's go with orange first.

Orange.

WELL-ENUNCIATED: My aura is green,
my energy is glowing,

because this connection between us
is clearly showing.

Ooh. Ooh.

Interesting.

Very nice voice. Feminine.

Very feminine. What did you think of
the poem? I was very impressed.

A bit more of a deeper connection
rather than a lusty one.

Mm. Let's see if we've got any lusty
ones out there.

Who do you want to go with next?
I reckon green's lusty.

YORKSHIRE ACCENT: I'm flirty and
sarcastic.

If you pick me for a date,
it will be fantastic.

Yeah, I like it.
Whereabouts are you from, green?

Leeds. They're usually friendly,
aren't they, people up north?

I'd like to think so. On to blue.
Yes.

Let's have your verse.
I bet she's got a dark poem.

SLIGHTLY HUSKILY: I'm a fox,
as you can tell by my locks.

Now, pick me and get me out of this
box.

Scary, wasn't it? It was a little
bit. That was like...

I'm going to keep you in the box,
love.

Don't want you getting out of there.
I'll keep you in.

Quite intimidating. Yeah. What do
you think about her voice?

Yeah, it was quite husky,
weren't it? And quite...

Yeah. She's definitely got
a rasp going on. Mm. OK.

One of the girls has to go.
Yeah.

I reckon...

..green.

Why green? I think these two are,
like, quite intriguing.

They're intriguing me
more than green is, for some reason.

So, Carlo, this northern
lass in front of you is Laura.

She is 28, she's a quality planning
officer from Leeds.

Laura, say hello.

Hello, you lovely girl.

Is Carlo your kind of boy?

He is actually, yeah. Is he?
I'm so sorry.

It's not going to be
a date this time. Goodbye.

See you later. Thank you.
Take care, my love.

So, Carlo, you didn't think I was
saucy enough,

but you haven't seen my naughty
side, and that's a shame.

Two girls remaining,
blue and orange.

Up until this point,
you've seen them with their kit off.

I think it's only fair, it's your
turn. Get my kit off.

See you later. See you later.

Based on naked attraction, Carlo has
whittled six women down to two...

..28-year-old bar worker, Lizzy,

and 27-year-old dancer, Megan.

But he can only choose one girl to
go on that date to find out

if there's chemistry
when the clothes go on.

So, ladies, Lizzy, Megan,
the final two ladies standing.

The last time you saw Carlo,
it was with his clothes on.

Are you ready to see him with his
kit off? Yeah, go on, then.

Carlo, come on out!

Show us your cock.

Hi. Hello!

Oh, you're perfect!

Oh, thank you very much.

Look, Carlo, you're amazing.

So, Lizzy,
what do you like about his body?

I like his shoulders, tattoos.
Everything, really, yeah, yeah.

You're pretty nice, aren't you?
Yeah. Thank you very much.

And what about his willy?
Slightly floating to the left there.

Yeah, but, you know, whose doesn't?

Megan, what do you like?
Pretty much everything, really.

I like his tattoos as well.

Torso is quite strong.

What do you think of that?

It's good.

It's good. I'll take that.

Yeah. OK. Yeah.

OK. This time, Carlo,

you've got to pick the girl you want
to go on a date with.

You have got Lizzy,
and you have Megan.

OK.

I think I'm going
to have to pick...

..Lizzy.

Lizzy!
Why did you go for Lizzy in the end?

I mean, she just seems like she'd be
a good laugh.

Megan, do you know what,
it's not going to be a date for you.

Goodnight. Night, night.

A little bit disappointing

but it was exciting getting to the
last round anyway.

Can you imagine yourself
climbing that steeple?

Definitely, yeah, yeah. OK.

Next time you see each other, it's
going to be with your kit back on.

Awesome. Off you go! Goodnight!
Bye-bye.

Carlo naked is rather lovely.

He's got a cracking body.

I definitely think Lizzy is
on the adventurous side of things.

Nice physical attributes.

I'm really looking
forward to the date.

I'm sure it's going to be
a good laugh.

Hiya. Hi, are you all right?

Yeah, good thanks. How are you?
Good.

When she first walked in, yeah,
she looked nice.

Red dress, yeah, smart.

Thank you. I have to say,
I do like your accent.

All Somerset people sound joyful.

Oh, that ain't true.
There's plenty of them.

Honestly, there's
plenty of miserable Somerset people.

The date is going really well
so far.

I can feel a bit of chemistry,
but hopefully more, maybe.

I am so hardcore.

I scare people. Yeah,
your poem definitely scared me.

That's probably why I haven't been
good in relationships.

You just scare them off.
That's all it is.

I'm actually really nice, I think.

I think the date's going well
with her, yeah.

She's a good craic,
she's a good laugh.

I'm a bit of a "free spirit,"
as you would say, anyway.

Right. I get you, yeah.

I'm normally the one who
gets my baps out at parties.

Nice!

She's probably a bit out there,
ain't she?

But she's a lovely girl,
and having a good chat nonetheless.

A kiss might be on the table.

My lips are a bit loose sometimes.

So, why me?

Well...

I didn't expect it to be me.

In terms of physical attributes,
you're not, like, my cup of tea.

But you seemed like you'd
be a good laugh.

Go for personality more than looks.
It's always the best way.

Definitely.

I didn't really feel a spark.

She's a lovely girl,
but just not for me, that's all.

I didn't take personality
over looks to heart,

but he's not as fun as me, anyway.

Awesome.

You know, you win some,
you lose some.

Onwards and upwards.

Take care. You have a good evening.
You too. Bye-bye. Bye.

Hello, love, you all right? Yeah,
good, thanks. How are you? Yeah,
good.

Good, good. How've you been, all
right? Yeah. Good. Yeah? Very well,
yeah.

So, how did the date go?
I think the date went well.

I think it was a good laugh, weren't
it? Yeah.

We had a good conversation.
It was...

It was good fun, yeah.
Yeah, it was good fun.

Your personality came across
when you were in the box,

and it came across just
as well on the date.

To be honest, I feel the same.
Good.

But there wasn't any
chemistry on the date? No.

Yeah, no chemistry, sadly.
No, I think that's fair to say.

You know, maybe more of a friend
thing,

but, yeah, he's a good laugh.
Cheers, love.

I'm happy I picked Lizzy.
I wouldn't change it. Yeah.

I think it was you know, a good
time, good experience, definitely.

I learnt what a steeplejack is.

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