Nailed It! (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - Let's Get Lit - full transcript

[classical music plays]

[slurping]

[man] Nailed It! Season 4 interview
with Nicole and Jacques, take one.

Nicole and Jacques, Season 4,
did you ever think it'd get this far?

Oh, are we already at Season 4?
Oh, my God.

I don't pay attention to
those sort of things, darling.

I mean, how can one remember they've taped
26 episodes plus 13 holiday episodes?

I'm more focused on
making one show at a time, okay?

[man] Uh, well, has the success of
Nailed It! changed your life?

-[Jacques slurps]
-[Nicole] Success?

What's that word? I do this for the fans.



And speaking of fans...

Okay, I'm-I'm-I'm chilly.
Can you slow down?

-Thank you. Slow. Thank you.
-[man] Hey, Jacques,

-let's talk about the cakes this season...
-[Jacques] Panic!

More piña colada!

Can I get another piña colada?

Please? Anyone?

Can you speed up? I'm getting hot.

Where is my piña colada? Wes!

Wes!

What's going on?
We've got an hour to lunch.

Guys, move the wall. Reset the kitchen!

Wine, Culinary and Art Department,
reset the kitchen.

-[Wes] Time to go.
-[Nicole] No! My fanner!



Nicole, it's time.
It's time to eat the cake.

The bad, bad cake.

[Jacques] Four season of bad cakes.

[Nicole] I don't wanna.

[classical music continues]

[bell dings]

To bake or not to bake?

That is the question.

Lucky for you, we've got the answer...

Bake!

Welcome to Nailed It!

The baking competition show where
we strive for a midsummer night's dream,

but end up with much ado about nothing.

Today, three amateur bakers will
attempt to recreate professional desserts

inspired by the works
of great literary authors

and compete for a chance
to win 10,000 ducats.

Let's meet these baking bookworms.

I'm Gail DePadre
and I'm from Casa Grande, Arizona.

I have seven grandkids.

We have birthdays pretty much every month.

-[whisk whirs]
-Sorry for the noise.

I'm winning for all my grandkids.

This will prove to them
that Grandma is a good baker.

My name is Greg Gardner.
I'm from Valdosta, Georgia.

I'm a client liaison,

aka...

"customer service."

I like to put love into my baking,

'cause you want people to enjoy
what they're eating.

When they bite into it,
you want them to say, "Ooh,

that's bursting."

Sprinkle, sprinkle.

My baking today is going to be bursting!

[Greg laughs]

[Fish] My name's Andrew Fischer,
but I go by "Fish,"

and I make board games
in St. Paul, Minnesota.

I'll often make treats for my coworkers.

My baking attempts
don't always taste the best,

but my girlfriend, Sam,
is very supportive in my baking,

even when I've had some failures.

I hope to win this for Sam.

Welcome, Gail, Greg and Fish,

three households all alike in dignity

in our fair Nailed It! kitchen.

How art thou?

I'm bursting.

-[record scratch]
-You're what?

Bursting.

-Bursting. I thought you said "thirsty."
-I thought so, too.

And I was like, "Is that your voice?
Like, are you that thirsty?"

[laughter]

Please say hello to my Sancho Panza
of chocolate, Jacques Torres.

I make chocolates
for the everyman, Nicole.

Oh, wow. You are so kind.

And please help give
a warm Nailed It! welcome

to actor, comedian, director,
improviser, and writer,

Matt Walsh!

Matt, what is it like having
all those jobs?

It's not easy, Nicole. And now, today,
I'm adding "celebrity pastry judge."

[laughter]

Well, some are born great,
some achieve greatness

and some have greatness thrust upon them!

This first round,

we're thrusting into a challenge
we call Baker's Choice.

But, soft, what light through yonder
Door Number One breaks?

We'll find out
when you try to make these...

-...Shakespearean stained glass cookies!
-Woo!

[Nicole laughs]

[Nicole] Yes,
you must create William Shakespeare...

[man] Cheerio.

[Nicole] ...the world's greatest dramatist
and his famous star-crossed lovers,

-Romeo...
-[man] Ta-ta.

-[Nicole] ...and Juliet in cookie form.
-[woman] Oh, Romeo.

[Nicole] The stained glass window cookie
in the back uses melted hard candy,

and the cookie in the front
uses royal icing

to artistically divine the characters.

Now, when I say, "Alas,"

you will run over
and carefully pick it up.

Alas!

Everyone moves so slowly.

-[Fish] There we go.
-[Gail] I got it. [grunts]

[Nicole cackles]

You only have but an hour,
just one hour.

-[klaxon sounds]
-[Nicole] So, be off and bake!

Go! All of you. What is...?

Nobody ever listens to me.

I'm thinking I better hurry.

To a bowl?

Is margarine different from butter?
I don't know.

Jacqueth,
how doth thou makest these cookies?

So, the first thing to do
is to make the cookie dough.

Next, roll out the dough and cut it
into the shape of your character

and stained glass window.

Crush hard candy into small pieces

to layer the inside of the stained
glass window.

While the cookies bake,
make the royal icing.

Lastly, add food coloring
to the royal icing

to make the color needed

to decorate your Shakespearean
stained glass window cookie.

Do you ever find it ironic

that you are a highly decorated,
well-respected pastry chef,

and you have to eat trash every day
for money?

[Jacques and Matt laugh]

You know what I like about it

is that when they mess up,
I can explain why they mess up

and how not to mess up.

So, this is an opportunity for me

-to teach.
-Aww.

This says "margarine."

We'll go with that.

At work, we do lots of juggling
of projects and multitasking.

Now that I only see small lumps
of margarine,

we're gonna mix this in.

And so I'm hoping
that my project management skills

will help me get over my slower baking.

I don't actually know
if my slotted spoon is the right tool

to be using here,
but it's kind of bending.

Fish is using a big spoon
instead of the power mixer.

I don't like it.
I gotta say, I like technology.

Oh, yeah.

There's a whole stand mixer.

[Matt laughs]

[Nicole laughs]

[Greg] Lord Jesus.

Cookie dough scares me.

Yes, it's Julia.

I don't know how this is gonna turn out.
I've never done this before in my life.

The cookies never come out like
they show in the commercial.

You take it out,
and it looks all soft and gooey.

And when it cool off, they be a brick.

Use the induction burner.

I don't wanna give Nicole any bricks

'cause she gonna read me for filth,

I know.

Ooh, it's mixing.

If I go down in flames,
I'm going down like the phoenix, baby.

[he chuckles]

Bursting.

Okay.

[Matt laughs]

I'm gonna turn it up and take a chance.

I did teach English to sixth graders
at my middle school.

Looking good.

I love Shakespeare, so I'm excited
that I can give tribute to him.

Gail, how's it going over there?

Hey, it is going fabulous.
Thank you for asking.

[Nicole] Oh, no problem.

Woo! Smack it, Gail.

Ooh, yeah, baby!

-I'm pretending it's my husband.
-[record scratch]

[Matt laughs]

I like you, Gail.

[Gail laughs]

I'm supposed to roll out this dough.

Hey, Greg,
how's it going rolling out your dough?

I'm nailing it.

Yes, Greg, you are. You're nailing it.

[Greg] Oh, my God.

[he groans]

I feel like I'm at boot camp.

We're just gonna kind of
free-hand poor Juliet here.

[Greg] Wait.

Ain't I supposed to have some candy?

[Fish] This isn't really working.

There's definitely a smarter way
to do this.

[Nicole]
Wes brought a demonstration for us.

Ooh, I get to wear goggles?

Thank you for my goggles.

You don't want to hit them too, too hard.
You want some pieces.

-[Nicole] This is therapeutic.
-[Matt] Isn't it?

[Fish] I cheated.
I watched Jacques from the table.

There's still Jolly Rancher
all over this workstation.

Fish is gleaning from our example.

-He's watching what we're doing.
-You stinky fish!

You're copying us.

I'm just learning from my environment.

-Well, stay in your own environment.
-[Fish laughs]

Three-fifty until done. Oh, great.

[Jacques]
I don't see any candy in Gail's window.

-Okay.
-[Fish] Juliet's gonna go in the oven.

Yay.

[Nicole] Forty-one minutes!

Forty-one!

"Royal Icing. Royal icing mix, water.

Beat the mix and water together
until thick and fluffy in the mixer."

In the mixer.

In the mixer.

I've made royal icing like once,
long in the past.

And I remember
that it kind of has to be a little runny.

Royal icing is supposed to
not be that thick.

But I don't wanna mess with runny icing.

So, I think I'm just going to move ahead
with kind of this thicker stuff

and try to make Juliet using that.

Please don't explode.

We're making some fabulous orange.

You know, it looks like Versace orange.

Oh!

That's bursting.

Gail, how is it going?

-My cookies are in the oven.
-And you got your candies on your cookie?

Huh? Oh, poop.

Nope, I didn't do that!

[they laugh]

I'll figure it out.

I can't believe
that I didn't put the candy in.

I guess I thought I would do it later.

How could I miss that?
Where's those dang Jolly Ranchers?

I don't even know what they look like.

Time is flying by,
and I'm starting to panic.

I give up.
But I'm gonna try something else.

I'm gonna go for the rock candy,

and I don't know if it's gonna melt,
but this what we're gonna try.

Modifying.

I missed that one little thing.

I thought it was later on. It's okay.

Try this again.

Whoa! 23 minutes, you guys.
That's "two" and a "three."

[sighs] All right.

So, I'm not sure if the cookie is done,
but the Jolly Ranchers are bubbling.

[Greg] Oh, I need to take this cookie out.

[Gail] Done or not, it's coming out.

Boing.

My icing came out kind of thick,
so Juliet's gonna have a slightly...

...bumpy face.

Is Fish spreading
the royal icing correctly?

Cause it looks like
how I would hit my toast in the morning.

I like it a little bit more liquid,
so this way, when you spread it,

or when you pipe it,
it just comes, you know, smooth.

-[Matt] Slowly.
-[Jacques] Yes, you see?

That's the technique used
to make those faces.

[Fish] We're going with what time allows.

[sighs] Oh, Lord have mercy.

I have never worked with royal icing
in my entire life.

But I am determined to give you
a work of art.

[Nicole] Oh, no.

Greg was piping
with the tip outside of the bag.

And everybody knows
you gotta get the tip in.

[Greg] Shakespeare up there,
he got his Jheri curl going.

The curl is activated.

It's bursting!

Lord have mercy.

Whoa! Eight minutes!

[she groans]

[laughter]

Gail, you're not happy?

[Gail] Oh, my gosh!

I haven't gotten anything done yet.

[Matt wheezes]

I am in a Shakespearean
comedy of errors right now.

I don't have enough royal icing
for each color

because it's so thick.
My other cookie's still in the oven,

and then the candy's still not melting.

I was too slow. That's a failure.

[Fish] Oh, Juliet, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

Shakespeare got his Versace outfit
from the flea market.

It's sparkling and stuff.

It's bursting.

[Greg] I've made my first masterpiece.

Are you eating candy?

I'm eating some of the candy we broke.

-I like a watermelon.
-[Jacques] I like them, too.

-[Nicole] 2.5 minutes.
-[Matt] Come on, guys.

If your cookie's still in the oven,

it's too dang late!
You gotta take 'em out!

[Gail] Somebody's gotta show me
what a Jolly Rancher is when I get done.

[Nicole] This is gonna be so awful
for me to get up.

I'm gonna put my shoes back on,
and it's gonna be full of candy.

This will go down in history
as the most terrifying Juliet.

How do I get the cookie off here?

You want some compressed air?
Wanna blow the candy out of your shoe?

Ooh, what is compressed air?

[Matt]
Camera guys always have compressed air.

That's a little too close to the front.

I can't... Oh.

And there's no stained glass,
but I'll do this anyway.

Thirty seconds!

[air hisses]

Agh, my shoe's so cold!

-[Matt laughs]
-[Nicole squeals]

-Sorry. I did it.
-Twenty seconds!

We need an outline.

Nothing I can do to it.

[judges] Five, four,

three, two,

one!

You're done!

The competition is over.

[Gail] What?

I've won.

Gail, let's remember

the Shakespearean stained glass window
you were trying to make.

-[man] Ta-ta.
-And, Gail, let's see what you did.

[Gail] Nailed it!

[laughs] Oh, I don't mean to laugh. Gail!

Your window's not a window, Gail.

What happened?

I used rock candy, but it didn't melt.

I'm worried there's not enough hair
to cover his skull. I can relate to that.

[Nicole] Let's taste it.

[crunching]

[Nicole] Wow. This is hard.

The underbaked one, to me, wasn't as good.

The overbaked one was so hard.

But, like, after you get through that,
the flavor of that was really nice.

Good.

What give the flavor there is
the caramelization of the sugar.

So, when you pass that hardness,
then the cookie is a lot better.

If I had a cup of tea,
and I got to dunk this...

-There you go.
-[Matt] ...home run.

-Goodbye, Gail.
-Goodbye.

-Fair morrow, Gail.
-Thank you.

Poor Romeo.

Well, Greg! Let's remember the cookie

-you were trying to make.
-[man] Cheerio.

Let's see the Shakespearean stained glass
cookie you doth done.

Nailed it!

[giggles]

Oh, Greg!

This is the most delightful thing
I've ever seen! Greg!

Your Shakespeare? Ooh, he burstin'.

Yeah.

I do like the stained glass.
For some reason, it reads "time portal."

It looks like you struggled
with your piping bag.

The tip to decorate
was outside of the bag.

That's supposed to be inside the bag.

-Oh, that makes sense.
-[Jacques] That makes sense.

[Greg] Yeah.

[Nicole] Okay. I love it.

We're gonna taste it.

I really thought the flavor of your cookie
was good.

For whatever reason, this I liked better.

Same as you.
I liked the window a little bit better,

because of all the little pieces
of caramelized sugar in it.

I do like to cook those cookies
a little bit more

just to have the flavor of that caramel.

[Matt] I was impressed with
the stained glass. It was pretty.

It had bursting-ness.

Yes.

Bye, Greg.

All right. Fish!

Let's try to remember the cookie
you were trying to make.

-[woman] Oh, Romeo.
-And let's see what you did make, Fish.

[Fish] Nailed it!

Wow!

Well, hot dog, Fish!

Fish captured the expression of Juliet.

I think the orange hue is quite beautiful.
It looks really nice.

-Thank you.
-Well, let's taste.

[Nicole] I liked Juliet
more than your window cookie.

I thought your royal icing
had a good taste, bad texture.

Can you explain what did you do
with the royal icing?

[Fish] I didn't want to over water-down
my icing, so I just kind of moved ahead

with "royal frosting."

It was more like frosting than icing,
you're right.

But, uh, you did capture
an interesting Juliet.

Okay, bakers, come together.

It is time to decide who hath woneth.

Jacques?

[Jacques] And the winner is...

Fish! Fish won! Yay!

Congratulations.

Matt, tell that Fish what that Fish won.

Well, Nicole,
all good writers need ink and paper.

And all good bakers need this,

a 263-piece decorating set.

[Nicole laughs]

[Matt] Shakespeare!

[Jacques] This is great!

[Nicole] What a dang treat!

Oh, this is dumb. Oh, Wes.

Oh, Wes.

Now, for the crowning
of the Round One winner.

And remember:
"All that glitters is not gold."

Unless, of course, it is
the Nailed It! Golden Baker's Cap.

What a treat!

All right,
let's do our best Shakespearean walks

to Door Number Two.

Ooh, what a treat. We're at Round Two.

This is the one that could win you
10,000 pieces of silver.

Behold, what promises to be
your personal white whale of baking.

Yeah!

[Nicole] The Moby Dick pop-up book cake!

[whale moans]

[Nicole] We challenge you
to recreate this epic battle at sea

depicting Ahab's obsessive hunt

for the great white whale, Moby Dick.

[Jacques] The famous whale
is made with rice cereal

and covered with fondant.

The rocky waves are buttercream.

Ahab, his boat and harpoon, are all
modeled out of modeling chocolates.

And check it out.

Finally, the book is made out of
blue velvet cake.

-Oh, and, Gail?
-Yes.

Gail! You struggled a little
with those stained glass cookies,

so you get an advantage.

At your station, you'll see
the "Nicole Does Melville" Button.

Tap that, and your two opponents
will stop for three minutes

and listen to me read Moby Dick,

while you peacefully go on
about your baking business.

-[she cheers]
-[Matt] It's a big challenge.

Just remember,
it's a metaphor for chasing spirituality.

-It is?
-I don't know.

[Matt laughs]

-It sounded good.
-Sounded good, right?

All right, bakers, you have 90 minutes
to make your cake.

-[klaxon sounds]
-Begin! Run! Go!

We get to sit now.

I gotta do better this time.

Oh, the cake mix isn't actually here.

As I sit here, I can't help but wonder

how would you make that cake, Jacques?

I'm going to help you, Nicole.

It's always my pleasure to help you.

-Thank you, Jacques.
-Okay.

First, make your blue velvet cake batter.

Pour into greased pan, and bake.

Then, make your buttercream,
and whip until light and fluffy.

Once the cakes are cool, stack them,
and carve into the shape of a book.

Then, next, cover the cake
in blue buttercream to create a storm sea.

Then make the whale
by molding rice cereal treats,

cover in fondant,
and airbrush to give it a realistic look.

Lastly, make your Captain Ahab,

harpoon and boat
out of modeling chocolates

for your perfect Moby Dick
pop-up book cake.

-I'm very excited.
-Yes.

This time, I'm gonna read
the whole recipe to myself first,

so that I don't screw it up
like I did the last time.

After the, uh, cookie episode,

I feel like, "Okay, I'm gonna calm down

and do things in an orderly fashion.

"Cake mix, eggs, butter."

I hope that that plan helps me, yes.

[chuckles]

This is why I like box cakes better.

All you do is you add eggs and oil,
and you're done, baby.

Our tongues are gonna be blue
after tasting these.

[Gail] I feel like
I'm doing the right thing. We'll see.

That's not enough.

-Is that enough non-stick?
-No.

No, not at all.

[Nicole] You have to really go in on it.

-Everything's going to stick.
-Oh, dear.

Oh, I forgot the butter!

-Oh, my God!
-Gail, what's going on over there?

-We're doing it over.
-Oh, no. What's happening?

You don't wanna know.

-What's steaming over there?
-Oh, I forgot an ingredient.

Oh, butter?

Butter. It's okay.

[they laugh]

-Why does she pour...?
-[Gail] Jacques, don't even ask.

-[Nicole] What? No.
-It's okay.

-[she squeals]
-[all] Gail!

-What's going on, Gail?
-Oh, my God!

Everything I can get to make a mess.

She forgot the butter,
so she sizzled up some butter

and she put it in there.

That's a bad start.

It's okay.

[he hums]

[Greg] At this point in the competition,

I feel more comfortable now,

and, you know,
Round Number Two is what counts,

because it's $10,000.

It's gonna be bursting.

And we'll pour our cake in.

[Nicole] Greg has very little batter
to go across all three pans.

Didn't make enough.

Was I supposed to do this three times?

[Nicole laughs]

[Jacques laughs]

"Make as much as you need."

That is the gagger.

I'm making more.

[Fish] I'm thinking of splitting up
between two cakes

to kind of create the shape of the book.

We'll see how much batter comes
out of this.

Um...

I have never made anything
like this before.

My goal is to at least make
something presentable

and have each thing represented
in some way.

Deep blue color.

Right.

Fish, wearing the gold hat, is about
to pour the cake into the pan.

-Blob, blob, blob.
-It looks good.

[Jacques] Fish is doing okay, huh?

[Gail] I'll try this one this time.

Not used to convection ovens.

Okay. Hope for the best.

Let's do the buttercream next.

Eight cups of powdered sugar.

Actually following the right recipe now.

I don't know if this is enough
for that cake.

I'm starting on this buttercream,

and I'm looking at
the amount of butter in there,

and I'm thinking that does not look like
a lot of buttercream.

I'm gonna make two batches.

So, remember, we're doubling.
So, that's just like...

all the powdered sugar in the world.

One, two, three.

Okay. So, I put in...

three cups...

tablespoon vanilla...

There's a cup and a half...
Half cup of milk. Okay...

I'll be at a cup and a half of sugar
left in, roughly...

Ideally, I think I have to add another
six and a half cups of powdered sugar.

I'm sure I'll look back on this,
and be like, "You idiot.

You did your math completely wrong." Six.

Hello, Mr. Tuna Fish.

How's your buttercream?

Mmm. Yeah, it's tasty.

-All right.
-Great.

Try to do some of the Rice Krispie whale.

What is the trick to shaping the whale
with the riced cereal?

So, really have to compress it.
Otherwise, it just falls apart.

I don't know
if I should put them like that.

I have no idea. How?

We're gonna nuke this for just a second.

[microwave beeps]

[Gail] Wasting my time.
[sighs]

[Greg] Oh, my God.

[Nicole] Greg, are you all right?

[he laughs weakly]

-[Greg sighs]
-[Matt] Look at that.

[Greg laughs]

[Nicole] Forty-one minutes.

There we go. That's better.

Chill.

[Gail] And I can see that Fish
and Greg are ahead of me,

and this might be
a good time to hit my Melville Button.

Nicole, read Melville for me, please.

[Nicole] Oh, boy! Greg and Fishy,

stop your baking.

You must watch me perform.

I didn't want those guys working

while I was trying to get
the whale taken care of.

Alright.

-This is Moby Dick by...
-Boo!

You know, this is just like stand-up.

[Fish laughs]

Oh, come on, turn gray. Turn gray.

"Whenever it is a damp,
drizzly November in my soul..."

Can you repeat that last line?

"Drizzly Nove..."
Is this part of it, where I get heckled?

This sucks.

Forty seconds left. 40 seconds.

-Oh, my God.
-Go, Gail. Go.

Oh, no, don't do that.

"But what's this long face about,
Mr. Starbuck?"

-[klaxon sounds]
-Okay, Nicole, you're done!

-Oh, wow.
-[applause]

[Nicole] Back to baking.

-Okay.
-Bakers, 22 minutes left. 22 minutes.

[Greg hums]

[Gail gasps] Crap.

It looks like
her cake is completely broken.

Oh, she's trying to save it.

[Gail] This is a pieced-together cake.

[Fish] Gonna put it here,

and here, to kind of get that curve,

buttercream it up, and call it a day.

[Greg] My buttercream looks scary,
but it tastes good.

I'm giving you layers.

This isn't proper technique,
but I'm running out of time.

[Gail]
It's going to be a marble whale, yeah.

Nicole, look at Greg.

[they laugh]

-[Nicole] It's wild.
-[Matt] Greg's whale.

You have 13 minutes left.

[she squeals]

I'm not seeing any Ahabs.

I'm not seeing any boats.

I came on this show 'cause they promised
I could eat a boat and a captain.

I've got a boat right here.

-[Nicole] Greg.
-Yeah?

Do you have a boat and a Captain Ahab?

-No.
-Don't disappoint Matt.

I'm never gonna disappoint you,

'cause this cake is gonna be bursting
in your mouth.

[Greg chuckles]
I'm all out of options.

Oh, just minding my business.

Oh, my God.

Who sabotaged me?

-[Nicole laughs]
-Ah!

[Nicole] "Who sabotaged me?"

-[Greg] Really?
-Five minutes remain.

Boats, man, harpoon.

[Gail] A very sloppy one.

[Fish] He is not as cool
as I would have liked him to be.

[Greg] There's a little boat.

[Gail sighs]

-Hustle, my friend!
-If you run! Run!

-He doesn't run.
-No.

One minute. One minute left.

-[Fish groans]
-I need more waves.

Child...

[Fish] So, I'm gonna
add lines to the pages.

Whoa, 16 seconds!

[Greg] Oh, my God.

Five, four, three,

two, one.

-You're done!
-[klaxon sounds]

[Gail laughs]

It's the most fun I ever had.

We broke Gail.

Hey, Gail. Let's try to remember
the Moby Dick pop-up cake

you were trying to make,
and let's see what you made!

Nailed it!

What?

[Nicole laughs]

Wow, Gail!
[laughs]

This is wild, and I love it.

I think he's pretty wild.

This looks like a mushroom
with, like, lights on it.

And then this looks like
the bottom of an alligator.

[whale moans]

It looks like Ahab fainted

when he sees the alligator-slash-mushroom
attacking him.

And you didn't really give any shape
to the cereal treats.

And you just covered it with fondant.

Yeah.

First impression,
I felt like the upper jaw was missing.

But I do like the marbleized color
on the fondant.

All right, Gail. This has been delightful.

But we do have more cakes to see.

-Goodbye, Gail.
-Goodbye.

-My friend, Greg.
-Hey.

Let's see, Greg,
the bursting cake you made.

-You ready?
-I've been ready.

Nailed it!

[Nicole laughs]

[Matt wheezes and laughs]

[laughter continues]

[Nicole] Yes!

-Captain Ahab is just a grape on a stick.
-[Greg] Yeah.

[Jacques] And a doo-doo on the bottom.

-What did you say?
-A dookie boat.

[Greg] "A dookie boat?"

[Nicole] It kinda looks like
a piece of poo.

I'm a big fan of yours, first of all.
I just wanna say that.

I love your spirit, love your personality.

Approaching the cake, the big hurdle
for me is the dookie boat.

[Nicole laughs]

I think that Greg is very good
with abstract...

-representation of what we ask him to do.
-Thank you.

We have to see another cake.

-We'll see you later.
-See ya.

What up, Andrew? Let's see what you made.

-Nailed it?
-[Nicole laughs]

[Matt wheezes]

Whoo, I love this!

-[Nicole] This is good-ish.
-[Fish] I'll take "good-ish."

So, we got the ocean,

but it also looks like
there's trees in the ocean.

I think we have a little bit more
the shape of the book.

And I see also that your whale
was a little bit straighter

and then eventually came down.

What I love about it is you captured
a whale coming out of water.

I feel like there's energy in your cake.

The teeth I worried about, 'cause
there's teeth floating on the water.

It made me think how badly
this whale has neglected its teeth.

We saw three delightful cakes.

Cut us your best slice
of Moby Dick pop-up book cakes,

and we are going to taste them.

I know that my cake tastes better
than anybody else's cake here.

When I win and snatch this trophy,

I'm going down to Bergdorf Goodman
to get me some Balenciaga sneakers.

Did I say "bursting?"

Have I said it enough?

[laughs]

All right. Gail, you're up first.

[Jacques] The color of the cake
looks good. The cake is moist.

The buttercream is very sweet.
The fondant is very thick.

The buttercream tastes great,

but the flavor, it feels a little passive.

The buttercream was a touch
too sweet for me.

But I thought it complemented
the cake flavor.

Overall, your cake tastes pretty good.

Thank you.

Alright. Greg.

Yes.

-Bursting.
-Bursting.

Bursting!

[all laugh]

[he sighs]

[Jacques] I like that you layer everything
with buttercream.

It's a moist cake.

[Matt] I thought the taste was good.

I like the multiple layer action.

I thought your cake was super moist.
I thought it was, like, bouncy and fun.

I'm pleased. What a treat.

Thank you.

Fish. It's time to see
if you're good out of water.

[giggles]

I think it's a very moist cake.

The buttercream is a little bit sweet.

I like the coloring, and I like the taste.

I miss the layers.

I thought the cake itself
was a nice texture.

Your buttercream is very sweet.

I took too much buttercream,
and I almost passed away.

Overall, I thought all three cakes
are pretty delightful and delicious.

So, thank you, guys.

Judges, as Herman Melville wrote,

"A good laugh is a mighty good thing."

So, let us laugh together.

[dramatic laughter]

[all laugh]

[raucous laughter]

[Matt continues laughing]

[Matt howls with laughter]

Because it's time to announce
the winner of the 10 Gs

and the Nailed It! trophy.

Wes!

[she squeals]

[she sighs]

Okay, Matt,
are you ready to dole out the doubloons?

Yes, I am.

Jacques?

The winner is...

-...Fish!
-Congratulations!

[applause]

[sing-song] You get a trophy.

I thought I was gonna come onto this show
and have a spectacular failure.

And instead I have this.

I'm so excited to tell my girlfriend, Sam.

She is going to scream.

And so I might
even say that this trophy is bursting.

That's all for Nailed It!

Stick around,
and it'll be like we never left,

because we can't.

There is literally no exit.
We gonna die here.

Okay. Selfie.

Smile!