NYPD Blue (1993–2005): Season 6, Episode 18 - Mister Roberts - full transcript

Officer:
DOA WENT OUT A WINDOW.

WE GO TO ROUST A BUM
AND FIND THE DOA.

DOA COULDN’T HAVE MISSED
HIM BY 6 INCHES.

HE SLEEPS THROUGH IT,
THE BUM.

THAT WAS HIS
DWELLING PLACE,
RIGHT BESIDE THE CAR.

BLOOD WAS DRIPPING
ON HIM ALL NIGHT.

PROBABLY FIGURED
A THUNDERCLAP FOLLOWED
BY A WARM RAIN.

Officer:
THERE’S NO I. D.
ON THE CROAKER.

THAT COULD BE
THE LAUNCHPAD.

AW, FOR GOD’S SAKE.

LOOK AT THIS.



LOOK AT WHO
THIS IS DEAD.

ROBERTS.

WHAT HAPPENED HERE, HUH?

I’M TALKING TO YOU!
WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS GUY?

I WASN’T AWARE.

WASN’T AWARE?

GUY LANDED 6 INCHES
FROM YOUR HEAD!

IS THIS BUILDING OPEN?

WE GOT THE SUPER
COMING OUT.

COME ON.

NO NOTE.

STAY DOWNSTAIRS.

TELL THE SUPER
WE’RE SORRY FOR
KICKING HIS DOOR IN.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.



HERE’S HIS GUN.

WASN’T FIRED.

ELIMINATES THE
POSSIBILITY ROBERTS SHOT
HIMSELF IN THE HEAD,

PUT HIS GUN BACK
IN THE DESK,

THEN THREW HIMSELF
OUT THE WINDOW.

WH‐‐HYPOTHESIZING
THIS IS A MURDER, ANDY,
INSTEAD OF A SUICIDE,

THE GUN MAY HAVE BEEN
PLACED BACK IN THE DRAWER
BY THE PERPETRATOR

AFTER ROBERTS
UNSUCCESSFULLY SHOT AT HIM
TRYING TO DEFEND HIMSELF.

WHY IT ISN’T OUT
OF THE QUESTION

JAMES SEEING IF THE GUN
HAD BEEN FIRED.

THE PERPETRATOR WANTS TO MAKE
HIM CROAKING ROBERTS LOOK LIKE
ROBERTS COMMITTED SUICIDE,

BUT HE DON’T PUT ONE
IN ROBERTS’ HEAD
WITH ROBERTS’ GUN.

HE DON’T WANT TO GIVE US
AN EVEN CHANCE
BUYING THE SUICIDE ANGLE

BY US FINDING ROBERTS
WITH THE GUN IN HIS HAND
DEAD AT HIS DESK.

HEY. BOTTOM LINE,
THE GUN HASN’T BEEN FIRED.

THIS IS MURDER, BUT THE GUN
WASN’T INVOLVED.

TH‐THERE’S A LOGIC
TO WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.

EXPIRATION NOTICE ON
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE.

LET’S BOX THIS STUFF.
WE CAN GO THROUGH IT
IN THE HOUSE.

AND SHUT THAT DOOR
ON THAT PISS SMELL
COMING FROM THE HALLWAY.

YEAH. THE BUILDING’S
DEFINITELY SEEN BETTER DAYS.

THIS WAS NO SUICIDE.
A COP EATS HIS GUN.

DID ROBERTS HAVE ONE?

UPPER LEFT DESK DRAWER.

YOU SHARED OUR IMPRESSION?

HE WAS CROAKED.

ANY SIGN OF STRUGGLE
IN THE OFFICE?

THAT DON’T MEAN DICK.
YOU KNOW, THEY’LL FIND DOPE
IN HIM.

SOMEBODY DOPED HIM
AND THREW HIM OUT.

NO NEEDLE MARKS.

THAT DON’T MEAN ANYTHING.

LET ME FINISH.

I WAS GONNA SAY
THAT DON’T NECESSARILY
MEAN ANYTHING.

FORGET MIKE ROBERTS JUMPING
OUT A WINDOW, OK, BOSS?

YEAH. I DON’T FEATURE
MIKE CHOOSING TO WATCH
THE GROUND APPROACH.

HE WAS THROWN,
AND PROBABLY DRUGGED,
SO HE COULDN’T RESIST.

DO YOU WANT US TO VOUCHER
THE BOXES BEFORE WE START
GOING THROUGH THEM?

WE HAVE A NEXT OF KIN?

GO THROUGH THE BOXES...

AND LET’S TOSS
MIKE’S APARTMENT.

CANVASS THE BARS
AROUND HIS OFFICE,

SEE IF WE CAN PLACE
HIM LAST NIGHT?

THIS WAS NO BAR PICKUP THREW
ROBERTS OUT HIS WINDOW.

MAYBE IT WAS A BAR WHERE
THE PERSON THAT THREW HIM
OUT THE WINDOW

WENT LOOKING FOR HIM.

YEAH. THAT
COULD BE POSSIBLE.

HE WAS PUSHING
TO TELL ME SOMETHING.

LIKE HE KNEW
HE WAS GONNA GET WHACKED?

ROBERTS GOT THROWN OFF
THIS JOB FALLING IN LOVE
WITH SOME JUNKIE C.I.

HE GAVE THAT GIRL DRUGS
HE STOLE OUT
OF THE PROPERTY ROOM.

ROBERTS WASN’T AFRAID
OF PUTTING HIS HANDS
IN DIRTY WATER,

BUT SOMETHING
HE WAS DOING NOW
HE KNEW WAS BAD.

WORSE THAN KEEPING
A HELPLESS GIRL HIGH.

LET’S FIGURE
WHAT HAPPENED,

THEN WE CAN REBUKE HIM
AT HIS GRAVE.

WHAT?

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

MALCOLM CULLINAN...
WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE
FOR DOLORES’ DEATH.

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

FORMER DETECTIVE ROBERTS
WAS INVOLVED WITH HIM.

THE OTHER NIGHT
WHEN HE WAS LEAVING,

HE STOPPED ME
ON THE STAIRS,

AND HE CALLED ME
THE NAME ROCKY MARCIANO,

WHO WAS A CHAMPIONSHIP
PRIZEFIGHTER...

MARCIANO WAS.
OF THE FIFTIES.

AND AS THE CONVERSATION
WENT ON, I REALIZED
HIS CALLING ME THAT

WAS AN INDIRECT
REFERENCE

TO MY HAVING PUNCHED
MALCOLM CULLINAN.

THE CONVERSATION
WENT ON HOW?

HE SAID I HAD NOTHING
TO FEAR FROM HIM,

BUT NOT TO THINK
THAT MEANT I DIDN’T
HAVE ANYTHING TO FEAR.

DID YOU MAKE THAT
ROBERTS DELIVERING
A THREAT FROM CULLINAN?

NO. I FELT LIKE
HE WANTED TO HELP ME.

HE USED THE EXPRESSION
"HEADS‐UP." HE WAS TRYING TO
GIVE ME A "HEADS‐UP."

TELLING YOU
TO BE CAREFUL.

HE SAID IF THEIR VANITY
WAS INJURED,

RICH PEOPLE COULD AFFORD
TO INDULGE THEIR WHIMS.

WHICH YOU TOOK CULLINAN
HAD IT IN FOR YOU.

I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I WAS JUST PARALYZED
WITH FEAR.

THAT’S NORMAL.

THAT’S A NORMAL WAY
TO FEEL.

YOU’VE NEVER GIVEN ME
ANY REASON
NOT TO TRUST YOU.

BUT I COULDN’T ADMIT
I WAS AFRAID.

IF I’D BEEN
BRAVE ENOUGH TO
ADMIT IT TO ONE OF YOU

AND MALCOLM CULLINAN
WAS SOMEHOW
INVOLVED IN THIS...

MAYBE FORMER
DETECTIVE ROBERTS
WOULD STILL BE ALIVE.

IF I HAD HALF A BRAIN
TO LISTEN.

WHAT DID JOHN HAVE?

WHAT I SHOULD’VE KNOWN.

CULLINAN...

THAT DOLORES O. D.’d
TRICKING FOR
IN ATLANTIC CITY?

HIRES ROBERTS
TO HARM GAY JOHN

AFTER GAY JOHN
CLEANS HIS CLOCK
IN THE POKEY ROOM.

WHERE DID WE GET IT?

GAY JOHN JUST TELLS ME
ROBERTS,

LEAVING THE OTHER DAY
AFTER STEPPING
ON HIS JOINT

OVER THAT TRUCK‐DELIVERY
HEIST?

ROBERTS GOES
OUT OF HIS WAY
TO FIND GAY JOHN,

GIVING HIM A SPECIFIC
HEADS‐UP‐‐

HE’S IN NO DANGER
FROM ROBERTS, BUT HE
BETTER WATCH HIS BACK.

ROBERTS ACKNOWLEDGED HE
WAS WORKING FOR CULLINAN?

HE CALLS HIM
"MARCIANO," GAY JOHN,

SPECIFICALLY REFERRING
THAT JOHN CLEANED
CULLINAN’S CLOCK

AND THAT RICH PEOPLE
CAN CARRY A GRIEVANCE.

WHICH HE TOLD ME,
CHAPTER AND VERSE,
ROBERTS‐‐

"MY SHIP FINALLY CAME IN.
I CAN’T TAKE ADVANTAGE.
IT MAKES ME TOO SICK."

CULLINAN OFFERS ROBERTS
A CONTRACT

BEATING GAY JOHN’S
BALLS OFF OR WORSE,

BUT IT’S TOO SICKENING
FOR ROBERTS EVEN THOUGH
THE MONEY’S GOOD.

CULLINAN KILLS ROBERTS
’CAUSE ROBERTS

TURNS DOWN
A CONTRACT BEATING
JOHN’S BALLS OFF?

OH, EXCUSE PISS OUT OF ME
FOR NOT CROSSING EVERY
MOTIVATIONAL "T"

5 MINUTES
WITHIN THE INFORMATION
COMING TO MY ATTENTION.

NO. EXCUSE ME, ANDY,
SUGGESTING WE CAN’T YET
TROT TO THE D. A.’s OFFICE.

DID YOU HEAR ME SAY
THIS CULLINAN KILLED ROBERTS?

NO, I DID NOT.

THAT’S AN AREA TO LOOK AT.

ABSOLUTELY.

THAT’S MY SOLE
PRELIMINARY POINT.

NO QUESTION.

ANYONE THAT ROBERTS
DEALT WITH
HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE

IS A POSSIBLE
FOR WANTING HIM DEAD.

I’M JUST TRYING
TO NARROW THE FIELD.

GREG, IT LOOKED
LIKE YOU HAD SOMETHING
WHEN YOU CAME IN.

YES, I DID.

ACTUALLY, JAMES AND I
BOTH DID.

THIS ONE’S GREG’S FIND.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF
UNDIGESTED BARBITURATES
IN MIKE’S STOMACH.

THAT’S HOW HE
GOES OUT THE WINDOW.

SOMEBODY LOADS HIM UP
ON BARBITURATES,

AND HE CAN’T HOLD ’EM OFF
SUBSEQUENTLY WHEN THEY
LOOK TO TOSS HIM OUT.

NOW, MEDAVOY.

UH, FAR AS WHAT JAMES
AND I CAME UP WITH,

MIKE HAD THIS
JOURNAL‐TYPE NOTEBOOK

WRITTEN UNDER
A PEN NAME.

THE CASES
OF MIKE ROBERTINI.

THAT’S WHAT IT’S CALLED?

YEAH. I GUESS HE
WANTS IT TO BE LIKE
SOME KIND OF NOVEL.

NOT A VERY CLEVER
PSEUDONYM.

WHAT’S THAT?
SUPPOSED TO BE,
LIKE, HIS MEMOIRS?

SHEEH.

LEAST HE DIDN’T CALL IT

THE CLEARED CASES
OF MIKE ROBERTINI.

YEAH. WE KNOW HE’S
NOT LYING SO FAR.

YOU OUGHT TO GO THROUGH THAT
AND THE OTHER BOXES.

YEAH. WE’LL SEE IF HE
TALKED ABOUT ANY CASES.

I’LL GIVE IT
A QUICK READ, TOO.

WHEW, MIKE ROBERTINI!
WHAT A GENIUS TITLE
THAT ONE IS.

Medavoy: IN THE LAST
PART OF THE NOTEBOOK

HE CHANGES THE NAMES,

BUT‐‐BUT IT’S NO DOUBT

WHO MIKE’S TALKING ABOUT.

HE CALLS THE GUY CALLAHAN,

BUT HE’S TALKING
ABOUT CULLINAN.

HERE, LISTEN TO HOW
HE DESCRIBES HIM.

"A VERY POWERFUL,
IMPORTANT
INDUSTRIAL‐TYPE

"AND BIG‐SHOT
CHARITY CONTRIBUTOR

WITH SOME
REAL SICK TWISTS."

YEAH, THAT‐‐THAT’S
CULLINAN TO A "T,"

AND THEN THERE’S
A LOT OF SNIPPETS,

LIKE MIKE’S WRITING
NOTES TO HIMSELF,

CHEERING HIMSELF ON.

"JOSEPH WAMBAUGH
HAD HIS DOUBTS,
I’M SURE,

MICKEY SPILLANE."

SEE, JOSEPH WAMBAUGH

WAS A COP BECAME
A NOVEL WRITER.

MICKEY SPILLANE WROTE
MIKE HAMMER.

Martinez: IS THERE
ANYTHING IN THERE
ABOUT US?

ONE SEQUENCE
RIGHT AT THE END.

READ THAT.

Medavoy:
NO‐‐WELL‐‐WELL,

LET ME GIVE YOU
THE CONTEXT FIRST.

"ROBERTINI DID
A FEW THINGS
FOR CALLAHAN,

"AND WHAT YOU MIGHT
EVEN CALL DIRTY WORK...

Roberts’ voice blends in:
IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT
THE REAL WORLD WAS LIKE..."

Roberts, narrating:
BUT THEN CALLAHAN
ASKED ROBERTS

TO DO SOMETHING
VERY MUCH WORSE.

YOU GOT SOME BALLS,
COME TO MY OFFICE

AND MAKE THAT TYPE
REQUEST.

WELL, I KNOW SOMEONE
LIKE YOU DON’T HEAR IT
VERY OFTEN,

BUT MY ANSWER
IS A SUCCINCT NO.

ALL RIGHT, MR. CALLAHAN?

WE UNDERSTOOD?

I DON’T PROVIDE YOU
NO DRUGS.

I HAVE INFORMATION
THAT WILL FORCE YOU

INTO DOING THIS,
MIKE.

BLACKMAIL,
IN OTHER WORDS.

YOU’RE LOWER
THAN WHALE CRAP

AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE OCEAN FLOOR.

I KNOW YOUR HISTORY
OF PROVIDING DRUGS

TO A GIRLFRIEND
YOU WERE BANGING

WHILE YOU WERE
ON THE FORCE.

WE CALL IT THE JOB,
MR. CALLAHAN,

AND I HAD
A DISTINGUISHED CAREER.

NOT WHEN YOU WERE
PROVIDING DRUGS

TO THAT GIRLFRIEND
YOU WERE BANGING.

SHE WAS A JUNKIE
INFORMANT.

WE WERE IN LOVE.

I BELIEVE THAT GIRL
TOOK HER OWN LIFE

IN REMORSE OVER YOU,
DIDN’T SHE, MIKE?

AND YOU WERE DISMISSED
OFF THE JOB, DISGRACED.

I RESIGNED,
AND I WANT TO KNOW

HOW YOU’RE PRIVY
TO THIS.

I HAD AN INTEREST
IN THAT GIRL MYSELF, MIKE,

OR DID YOU THINK
THE TWO OF YOU
WERE STEADIES?

AND YET 4 YEARS LATER,
YOU GO TO HIRE ME

TO DO SECURITY WORK
FOR YOUR BUSINESS FIRM?

DO YOU THINK MAYBE
THAT WAS TO SET YOU UP

FOR THIS OTHER THING
I WAS INTERESTED IN?

YOU WANT ME
TO PROCURE DRUGS
FOR YOU

TO GIVE TO HOOKERS
SO YOU CAN GET
YOURSELF OFF

IN THAT DEGENERATE
SPECIALIZED NEED
THAT YOU HAVE?

IS THAT WHAT THIS
IS ALL ABOUT,
MR. CALLAHAN?

THE POINT IS,
IF I PUT OUT
WHAT I KNOW ABOUT YOU,

YOU’LL LOSE
EVERY ACCOUNT YOU HAVE.

YOU’RE TOTALLY
BLACKMAILED.

YOU CONNIVING,
OVER‐RICH PRICK.

WELCOME
TO THE REAL WORLD.

I WANT THAT FAIRY
TAKEN CARE OF.

THE HELL YOU SAY.

I’VE GOT BLACKMAIL CONTROL
OVER YOU, SCUMBAG.

HEY, YOU CALL ME
THAT AGAIN,

AND I’LL GIVE YOU
A HETEROSEXUAL
BEATING

TO COMPARE
TO THE SORE JAW
THAT HE GAVE YOU.

SUPPOSE I OFFERED YOU
25 GRAND?

OH, AND THAT’S
SUPPOSED
TO INTEREST ME?

I WANT HIM PUSHED
OUT A WINDOW.

I WANT TO SEE
IF FAIRIES FLY.

AND THAT‐‐THAT’S SUPPOSED
TO INTEREST ME?

25,000 CASH?

WHEW. YOU GOT
SOME BALLS,

COMING IN MY OFFICE,
MAKING THAT TYPE
REQUEST.

AHH. WE SURE MISS
YOU, MIKE.

[LAUGHS]

I’M ENVIOUS.

AH, WELL, I MEAN,
YOUR DAY WILL COME,
HUH?

YEAH, AS SOON AS HIS PEOPLE
CAN AFFORD PRIVATE EYES.

[LAUGHTER]

HEY, HE SAID IT,
JIMENEZ, I DIDN’T.

DID YOU WANT TO TALK
TO ME PRIVATELY?

YES.

OH, UH,
NO PROBLEM, MIKE.

YOU’RE A GOOD EGG,
MEDANSKY.

YOU, TOO, JIMENEZ.

WHEN I GET OUTSIDE,

I’M GOING TO TRADE
THIS IN FOR A SOMBRERO.

[LAUGHTER]

HEY, YOU SAID THAT,
I DIDN’T.

[SIGHS]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

YOU KNOW I HATE
SMALL TALK.

YEAH.

THIS GUY
I WORK FOR, UH,

OUT‐AND‐OUT PROPOSED
I DO MURDER, ANDY,

BELIEVE THAT OR NOT.

THINKING HE CAN FORCE YOU
OUT OF YOUR VALUES,

HE MUST HAVE
BLACKMAIL INFORMATION.

YEAH, WELL, HE’S
ALREADY FORCED ME

TO GET HIM UNCUT
SMACK, ANDY,

AND HE’S GOT A THING
FOR JUNKIE WHORES.

AN EX‐P. A. A.‐
TURNED‐JUNKIE‐WHORE
FROM OUR HOUSE

DIED UNDER JUST THOSE
CIRCUMSTANCES.

YEAH. N‐NOW HE WANTS
ME TO KILL HER
REPLACEMENT, SEE?

WHAT, IS HE
TRYING TO TURN THAT

P.A.A.’s JOB
INTO A DEATH POSITION?

NO, NO.

MEL CALLAHAN, ANDY.

THAT’S OUR
MYSTERY MAN,

AND I’M CONFIDING IT
TO YOU.

YOU GOT A BUM SHAKE
YOUR WHOLE PROFESSIONAL
CAREER.

THAT’S WATER
UNDER THE BRIDGE.

I DON’T CRY
ABOUT THAT.

ANDY,

CAN YOU PROTECT ME
IF NECESSARY?

MIKE ROBERTINI.

DOES ANYONE
WANT A SODA?

[CLEARS THROAT]
IT WASN’T THE HOOKERS
GETTING HIGH

CULLINAN
WANTED TO SEE.

Martinez: WANTED THEM
TO OVERDOSE.

HE GOT OFF
ON WATCHING THEM DIE.

IF ROBERTS ISN’T
GONNA SCORE DOPE
FOR CULLINAN ANYMORE,

CULLINAN’S GOTTA FEEL
ROBERTS IS A RISK.

ROBERTS COULD
TURN AROUND
AND BLACKMAIL HIM.

YEAH, WELL, T‐THERE’S
YOUR MOTIVE FOR, UH,

CULLINAN
MURDERING MIKE.

WHAT CULLINAN
SHOULD’VE BEEN AFRAID OF

WASN’T ROBERTS
BLACKMAILING HIM,

IT’S ROBERTS
TURNING HIM IN,

’CAUSE THAT’S WHAT MIKE
WAS ABOUT TO DO.

[SIGHS]

STANDS IN THAT BATHROOM,

BEGS ME TO MAKE HIM
GIVE IT UP.

[DISGUSTED SIGH]

"ONE THING I COULD
NEVER DO, ANDY,

"EVADE YOU KNOWING
I WAS WRONG.

YOU COULD ALWAYS FIND
MY BAD SECRET."

PRICK’S GOT
NO EXPOSURE,
THIS CULLINAN.

THE HOOKERS’
SHOOTING UP
IS ON THEM,

AND ROBERTS
IS A MOPE

THAT IF HE DIDN’T
COMMIT SUICIDE,

HIS WHOLE CLIENT
LIST WAS ELIGIBLE

FOR LAUNCHING HIM
OUT THAT WINDOW.

A WARPO LIKE THAT
DOESN’T STOP.

CULLINAN.

HE’LL BE AFRAID
A LITTLE WHILE,

THEN IT’LL START
BUILDING UP
IN HIM AGAIN,

WANTING WHAT HE NEEDS
TO GET OFF.

LET’S GIVE HIM
WHAT HE WANTS.

HI.

HI.

COME ON.

SHE LOOKS LIKE
ROBERTS DESCRIBED
HER, THE MADAM.

YEAH, WELL,
HE DESCRIBED HER
GOOD ENOUGH

THAT DIANE KNEW
WHO HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

WHEN DIANE
WAS WORKING VICE,

EVERY MALE
IN MANHATTAN

MUST’VE BEEN
EVEN‐MONEY
TO GET LOCKED UP.

THAT ONE AIN’T
GONNA BE NO SLOUCH.

I GUESS ALL
THE COFFEE SHOPS
WERE CLOSED.

SOME TRICK USES YOUR SERVICE
RUNS INTO YOU HERE, LEA,

HE’S PROBABLY
GOT OTHER PROBLEMS
TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU PUT DOLORES MAYO
WITH MALCOLM CULLINAN.

I PUT DOLORES MAYO
WITH MALCOLM
CULLINAN.

I DID NOT
PUT A NEEDLE

IN DOLORES MAYO’S
ARM,

WHETHER HE ASKED HER
TO OR NOT.

WE WANT YOU TO PUT
SOMEONE ELSE WITH HIM.

CULLINAN’S NOT
IN TOUCH WITH ME
ANYMORE.

BECAUSE?

BECAUSE I ASKED HIM
NOT TO BE.

WELL, NOW YOU’RE GONNA
CHANGE YOUR MIND.

I HAD NO CONNECTION
WITH THAT GIRL’S
HABITS,

DOLORES MAYO.

NO ONE’S SAYING
YOU DID.

I’M SAYING
I DIDN’T.

WE WANT TO RUN A GIRL
THROUGH YOUR SERVICE

TO GET TO CULLINAN.

I WOULDN’T MIND
SEEING THAT PRICK
JACKED UP,

BUT IT’S NOT
A BIG BUSINESS
ENDORSEMENT,

MY SERVICE FRONTING
FOR THE COPS.

IT’S NOT LIKE
WE’LL ASK YOU TO TESTIFY.

AND IF THEY GO
FOR ENTRAPMENT,

IT’S NOT LIKE
HIS LAWYER WON’T.

YOU NEED TO USE
YOUR IMAGINATION
ON THIS ONE, LEA,

’CAUSE IT’S GOING
TO HAPPEN

OR YOU’RE NOT
GONNA HAVE
ANY BUSINESS

LEFT TO ENDORSE.

[SIGHS]

THINK SHE’S GONNA
COOPERATE?

THEY TEND TO BE
PRACTICAL.

WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO CALL FROM?

Sipowicz:
THINKS THIS IS
THE PUBLIC LIBRARY,

MEDAVOY.

SO ARE YOUR INTERESTS
STILL PRETTY MUCH
THE SAME?

WELL, I GAVE UP TRYING
TO CHANGE PEOPLE’S MINDS

FOR LENT
A FEW YEARS AGO,

AND I’M TOO OLD
TO CHANGE MINE,

SO I GUESS WE STILL
CAN’T DO BUSINESS.

’CAUSE I JUST RAN ACROSS
A GIRL WHO MEETS
YOUR NEEDS.

HA. ACTUALLY, I JUST
FIRED HER FOR IT.

GOOD‐LOOKING BLONDE,
5’7", BUSTY.

SAID SHE JUST
STARTED SHOOTING.

FIGURE 3 MONTHS
FOR LYING.

WELL, I’M GONNA GIVE YOU
HER NUMBER, MAL,

BUT I DON’T WANT YOU
USING MY NAME.

SHE’LL THINK
I TOOK A FEE,

AND THEN SHE’LL BE BACK
TRYING TO WORK FOR ME.

YEAH. ONE FOR OLD TIMES,
AND NO HARD FEELINGS.

HER NAME’S DARCY,

AND YOU PROBABLY
WANT TO CALL HER
SOONER THAN LATER,

’CAUSE SHE WAS TALKING
ABOUT LEAVING TOWN.

YOU GOT A PENCIL?

[SIGHS]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[THROATY VOICE]
HELLO.

Cullinan on videotape:
YOU WANT ME TO PAY
FOR YOUR HIGH...

AND SUPPORT
YOUR HIGH,

BUT YOU DON’T MUCH CARE
ABOUT ME AT ALL.

WHERE HIS VOICE
GOES TIGHT LIKE THAT.

WE’LL BE
ON OUR WAY IN.

NO OLD TRACKS,
’CAUSE YOU JUST
STARTED MAINLINING.

BEFORE, YOU WERE
SMOKING IT.

THAT’S WHY SHE STILL
LOOKS GOOD.

THE HOME RUN’S
IF HE CONNECTS
HIMSELF TO ROBERTS.

GET CULLINAN TALKING
ABOUT HIS SOURCE
FOR THE DRUGS.

THAT WOULD BE
A CREDIBLE SUBJECT
OF INTEREST,

YOU BEING
A JUNKIE WHORE.

WHETHER YOU GET HIM
TO ROBERTS OR NOT,

YOU HAVE
TO ESTABLISH
THE DRUGS

ARE CULLINAN’S.

WHATEVER SEX‐TRIP
HE WANTS THE TWO
OF YOU TO GET ON

MAY INVOLVE HIM
FAKING

FINDING THE DRUGS
IN THE APARTMENT.

THAT THEY BELONG
TO HIS FRIEND.

YOU CAN’T LET HIM
STAY WITH THAT.

AS FAR AS HOW MUCH
YOU SHOW HIM

AND WHAT YOU
LET HIM DO,

REMEMBER,
YOU’RE ON CAMERA,

YOU WON’T BE ABLE
TO LIE.

HOLD ON, DANNY.

SURE.

I NEED TO TALK
TO HER ABOUT
THE LIPSTICK CAMERA.

YEAH. SHE’LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.

COME ON, LEO.

COME ON, WHAT?
I’M SUPPOSED
TO PRETEND

THAT I LIKE THIS?

NO. I’LL SETTLE
FOR NOT GETTING

TREATED LIKE GARBAGE
’CAUSE I’M DOING MY JOB.

YOU THINK CULLINAN’S
GONNA LET YOU OFF
EASY?

THIS ISN’T SOME
WALLFLOWER LOSING
HIS CHERRY, JILL.

YEAH. NEITHER AM I.

OH, THAT’S GOOD.

OH, COME ON, LEO.

ALL I MEANT IS I KNOW
HOW TO HANDLE MYSELF.

SOMEHOW, I DON’T
THINK THAT’S
THE ONLY THING

YOU’RE GONNA BE
HANDLING TONIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT
I KEEP THINKING?

MIKE ROBERTS
ON OPRAH.

IN WHAT CONTEXT?

AUTHORING SOME
DETECTIVE NOVEL.

UH, PROMOTING IT
ON ROSIE O’DONNELL
OR THE LIKE.

YEAH. ROSIE O’DONNELL.
OPRAH.

YEAH. YEAH.
HE’D LOVE THAT.

[IMITATING ROBERTS]
YEAH.

I HAD SO MANY
INTERESTING CASES,
OPRAH.

AFTER MY, UH, DISTINGUISHED
SERVICE ON THE JOB,

I VERY MUCH WANTED
TO WRITE UP THE CASES

I WAS PROUD OF,
OR THE LIKE.

THAT I WAS ACTUALLY
QUITE PROUD OF MY WORK.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

YOU KNOW, UH,
100% CANDID, JAMES,

I’VE FLIRTED MYSELF

WITH WRITING SOME
OF OUR CASES UP.

WE HAD SOME PIPS.

YEAH. WELL, WE’VE HAD
SOME PIPS, HAVEN’T WE?

EVERY CONCEIVABLE WACKO,
FOR ONE THING.

YEAH. THAT COULD BE
A VOLUME IN ITSELF,
COULDN’T IT?

THE HEAD CASES
OF THE NYPD.

TALKING ABOUT
COLLEAGUES OR SKELLS?

OH, YOU’RE RIGHT THERE.

THAT COULD BE
A WHOLE SECOND VOLUME.

OR YOU COULD HAVE
A WHOLE SECOND VOLUME

SOLELY DEVOTED
TO ANDY BEING NUTS.

SPLIT...THAT VOLUME
COULD BE, JAMES.

CRAZY IN THE OFFICE,
NUTS IN THE FIELD:

THE BEHAVIOR
OF ANDY SIPOWICZ.

MIKE ROBERTS HAD BALLS.

THEY’RE IN THE LOFT.

Diane:
WE’LL KEEP YOU ADVISED.

MMM!

GUY’S AN ARCHITECT.

NEVER REALLY BEEN ABLE
TO GET HIS CAREER GOING.

LOOKS LIKE HE’S DOIN’
ALL RIGHT TO ME.

YEAH. I GUESS
IT’S ALL RELATIVE.

ANYWAYS, IT’S, UH,

IT’S NICE HE LETS YOU
USE HIS PLACE.

YEAH. I THINK IF YOU
WERE TO TOTE UP

THE FAVORS HE’S DONE ME
AND I’VE DONE HIM,

I MIGHT BE
A LITTLE BIT AHEAD.

ANYWAYS...

ANYWAYS.

WE AGREED ON 2,500.

THAT’S 5,000.

YOU’LL FIND I’M FULL OF
THOSE KIND OF SURPRISES.

THIS GUY MUST HAVE
A ONE‐INCH DICK.

Jill: YOU’LL FIND
I LOVE BEING SURPRISED.

YOU’RE A JUNKIE.

WHERE’D THAT COME FROM?

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

THE EXTRA MAKEUP
COVERING YOUR TRACKS.

HMM?

ME MAKING UP THAT GUY

WHO GAVE ME
YOUR PHONE NUMBER,

AND YOU SAYING
YOU REMEMBER HIM.

YOU BEING AS GORGEOUS
AS YOU ARE

AND AFRAID IN YOUR EYES,

LIKE A 50‐DOLLAR WHORE.

IT’S ALL JUNK.

YOU FEELING WHAT
IT’S DOING TO YOU

AND WORRYING, "IS IT
STARTING TO SHOW YET?"

I’M NOT ENJOYING THIS.

I DON’T THINK
YOU ENJOYING THIS

IS EXACTLY THE POINT
OF THE EXERCISE.

I WANNA WATCH YOU
GET OFF.

THAT’S WHERE
THE CONVERSATION
COULD’VE STARTED.

MOVE OVER HERE.

YOU IN POSITION, ANDY?

[HUSHED]
WE’RE GOOD.

USE THIS.

I GOT MY OWN.

THIS IS BETTER.

BETTER COULD BE
A PROBLEM.

WHY DON’T I
JUST USE MINE?

Cullinan: NO.

LOOK...

IF I USE YOURS,

I WANT YOU TO TAKE
A LITTLE, TOO.

NO. I DON’T USE DOPE.

NOT SAYING YOU’D
WANT TO HURT ME
OR ANYTHING...

I’M GETTIN’
KINDA IRRITATED.

LOOK, MY STUFF
IS GOOD STUFF.

I PROMISE YOU’LL
SEE ME GET OFF.

HEY, DARCY...

Fancy: 10 SECONDS.

YOU’RE GONNA
USE MY STUFF,

YOU’RE GONNA USE IT NOW,

OR YOU’RE NOT GONNA
GET THE 5 GRAND,

AND YOU ARE
GONNA GET HURT.

ANDY, TAKE IT DOWN.

GET ON THE FLOOR!

WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?

Andy: YOU’RE A COLLAR.
GET ON THE FLOOR.

PUT YOUR HANDS
BEHIND YOUR BACK,

OR I’LL FRACTURE
YOUR SKULL.

I GOT THE DOPE.

Cullinan: MY ATTORNEY
IS JAMES SINCLAIR.

I WANT TO SPEAK
TO MY ATTORNEY.

YEAH, HE DID SUCH
A GOOD JOB

WHEN YOU KILLED
DOLORES MAYO.

WHAT IS THIS,

SOME ELABORATE KIND
OF PAYBACK?

SOME POLICE
VENDETTA?

YEAH. YOU’RE
THE VICTIM HERE.

THIS IS US TAKING
ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

GUY WHO OWNS THE PLACE
IS AT THE CINEPLEX
ON 19th STREET.

LEAVES A MESSAGE
FOR CULLINAN,

"IF YOU WANT TO
JOIN ME. HA HA."

BE NICE TO HAVE
A CONVERSATION
WITH HIM

BEFORE HE
GETS A LAWYER.

Danny: THIS PICTURE
MUST BE HIM.

Fancy: DOES IT SAY
WHAT MOVIE?

YEAH. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
HE’S SEEING.

ANDY.

I’LL DRIVE HIM BACK SLOW.

SO I GUESS EVERYTHING
IS RELATIVE, HUH, MAL?

UH‐HUH.

WOULD YOU PLEASE
TAKE YOUR HANDS

OUT OF MY POCKETS NOW?

WOULD YOU RATHER
WE BROUGHT YOU IN
IN BRACELETS?

WHERE WOULD YOU
LIKE ME TO SIT?

WELL, HOW ABOUT
RIGHT HERE?

SO, UH, WHAT’S
YOUR NAME?

TRENT?

TRENT KNOX.

WHAT KIND OF NAME
IS TRENT?

IT’S BEEN IN
MY FAMILY A WHILE.

SO, ONE OF YOUR
ANCESTORS LOST A BET?

I HAVE NEVER HAD
ANY KIND OF PROBLEMS

WITH THE LAW,

AND I DEEPLY RESENT
BEING YANKED IN HERE

COMING OUT OF A FILM.

[MIMICKING]
THEN YOU SHOULDN’T

HAVE WRITTEN THE MOVIE
YOU WENT TO

ON A POST‐IT NOTE

SO THAT WHEN WE COLLARED
YOUR ASSHOLE BUDDY

IN YOUR APARTMENT,

WE’D KNOW WHERE
TO GRAB YOU UP.

HUH?

I THINK WHAT I’LL DO
IS ASK FOR A LAWYER.

NO. I’LL DEMAND A LAWYER.

YEAH. LET’S GET YOU
A LAWYER, TRENT.

SO INSTEAD OF YOU
GIVIN’ US, LIKE,

3 SENTENCES
OF SIMPLE EXPLANATION

THAT COULD GET YOU OUT
HAVIN’ CAPPUCCINO,

YOU CAN BE CHARGED

ACCESSORY
TO ATTEMPTED MURDER.

YOU EVER TRY TO TAKE A CRAP
WITH NO TOILET SEAT

AND 5 GUYS
WATCHING YOU, TRENT?

AND KNOWING THERE’S
NO TOILET PAPER
FOR AFTER.

I DON’T KNOW

WHAT MAL CULLINAN
WAS DOING IN MY APARTMENT.

I WASN’T THERE.

WHAT’D HE DO, PUT
A GUN TO YOUR HEAD

AND FORCE YOU OUT
INTO THE STREET?

MAL CULLINAN...

TOLD ME IN A GENERAL WAY...

NO. LET ME REPHRASE THAT.

PLEASE.

HE DIDN’T TELL
ME ANYTHING...

ABOUT TONIGHT
SPECIFICALLY.

WE HAD A GENERAL
UNDERSTANDING

THAT HE WOULD SOMETIMES
USE MY APARTMENT...

AND I GAVE HIM
AN EXTRA KEY.

THIS IS TRENT
PREPARING

FOR HIS COURTROOM
TESTIMONY,

SKATING DELICATELY

AMONGST
THE BIG ICEBERGS

OF POSSIBLE
SELF‐INCRIMINATION,

INSTEAD OF
ONCE IN HIS LIFE

TRYING NOT TO
OUTSMART THE WORLD

AND JUST STICK
TO SIMPLE FACTS.

[VOICE BREAKING]
WELL, HAS IT EVER
OCCURRED TO YOU

THAT I MIGHT BE JUST
A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS?

IS HE GONNA CRY?

TRENT, JUST GIVE US

A COUPLE
STRAIGHTFORWARD ANSWERS.

NO ONE WANTS TO MAKE YOU
NERVOUS OR UPSET
OR ANYTHING ELSE.

HE DOES.

WELL, HE MAKES ME
NERVOUS.

THAT’S NOTHING
TO BE ASHAMED OF.

YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE
THE ROOM? HMM?

YOU WANT ME TO STAND
IN A CORNER?

WELL, PERHAPS IF YOU
WOULD JUST STOP TRYING
TO INTIMIDATE ME

FOR 30 SECONDS...

THAT MIGHT BE A START.

HEY. LET ME
GO GET A COKE

AND PONDER
MY POOR UPBRINGING.

NORMAN BATES THAT
YOU WERE ASKING ME
ABOUT BEFORE‐‐

THAT’S WHO NORMAN BATES
RESEMBLES.

WHO’S NORMAN BATES?

WHAT A COMPLETE ASSHOLE!

WHAT WAS GOING ON
IN THAT APARTMENT?

OBVIOUSLY, THAT’S NOTHING
YOU’D WANT TO BE A PART OF.

OH, BOY, YOU COULD
SAY THAT AGAIN.

MY GOD.

SO THAT HEROIN
WASN’T YOURS?

HELL, NO.

HE WOULD ALWAYS
BRING THAT WITH HIM.

I HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH ANY OF THIS‐‐

GIRLS...AND DRUGS.

THE GIRLS?

THIS WAS ALL
MAL CULLINAN’S SHOW.

SEE, THERE, TRENT,

YOU DO INDICATE
A CERTAIN AMOUNT
OF FELONY KNOWLEDGE

WHAT’S GOING ON
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.

YOU WERE JUST TRYING
TO TRAP ME, TOO.

NO. WHAT I’M TRYING
TO DO, TRENT,

IS INDICATE HOW DEEP
YOU’RE STUCK IN MUD.

I WANT TO BRING YOU
TO A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING

THE IMPORTANCE OF YOU
COMING NOW

WITH ALL YOU GOT

ON YOUR TWISTED
PRICK FRIEND
MAL CULLINAN

IF YOU WANT TO AVOID
TAKING YOUR PLACE

IN A PART OF THE WORLD

YOU WOULD NOT KNOW
HOW TO DESCRIBE
ON A POST‐IT NOTE.

ARE WE READY?

YEAH. WE’RE READY.

LOOK, LET’S ALLOW EVENTS
TO UNFOLD SOMEWHAT,

SO PERHAPS WE’LL BE
SPARED CONTEMPLATING

SUCH A VAST ARRAY
OF CONTINGENCIES.

THERE’S A REASON WHY
JUNIOR PARTNERS
ARE JUNIOR.

I SUPPOSE IF YOU HAD
A BITTER TURN OF MIND,

YOU MIGHT BE THINKING
AT THE MOMENT

ABOUT CHICKENS
COMING HOME TO ROOST.

I’M THINKING
ABOUT PROSTITUTES.

YOUR DECEASED FRIEND
MISS MAYO.

NO. THE ONE STANDING
IN FRONT OF ME.

DETECTIVE SIPOWICZ.

I CAN’T IMAGINE

YOU WEREN’T INVOLVED
IN THIS ESCAPADE.

I TOOK
A PASSING INTEREST.

JIMMY, THIS IS UTTER
AND TOTAL ENTRAPMENT.

DO NOT SPEAK AGAIN
UNTIL I TELL YOU TO.

I WANT TO SPEAK
TO MY CLIENT IN PRIVATE.

I HAD NO INTENTION
OF HARMING HER,

AND THESE PEOPLE
HAD A BOGUS FLAT
ON THE WAY IN.

SHUT UP OR GET
ANOTHER LAWYER.

I WANT HIS CUFFS OFF.
I WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM
IN PRIVATE.

YOU WANT THAT DONE HERE?

RIGHT HERE
WOULD BE FINE.

TAKE OFF HIS CUFFS.

THEY WON’T WANT TO BE
USING THE POKEY ROOM.

INTERVIEW 3.

I BELIEVE THAT’S
DOWN THE HALL.

HMM. YOU DO
LOOK LOVELY.

THANKS A LOT.

YEAH, IF SHE WAS DRAWN
TO PLAGUE CARRIERS,

THE FEELING
MIGHT BE MUTUAL.

IT’S AMAZING
HOW MANY ARE.

LEO, I’M GONNA
BE A FEW MOMENTS
WITH MR. CULLINAN.

THEN YOU AND I
CAN HAVE A MOMENT
IN THE COFFEE ROOM.

BOYS.

YOU WANT ME
TO WEAR THIS HOME?

I DON’T CARE
WHAT YOU DO.

TRENT COPS TO MAYBE
HE ACTUALLY SAW

UP TO 5 GIRLS
IN PASSING

THAT MAL BROUGHT
TO HIS APARTMENT.

DOLORES CROAKED
3 MONTHS AGO.

TRENT SAYS,
LIKE, 3 MONTHS AGO,

MAL GOT DIFFERENT.

MAL CROSSED A LINE‐‐
TRENT DIDN’T WANT
TO KNOW WHAT‐‐

STARTED DOIN’ GIRLS
IN OTHER PLACES.

EVEN WITH HIS
TRUSTY CAMERA
SET UP AT TRENT’S?

WHEN HE TOOK DOLORES
TO ATLANTIC CITY, ANDY,

HE KNEW WHAT
HE WAS GONNA DO.

HE WANTED DOLORES DEAD.

FIRST TIME,
HE’S A CAUTIOUS PERV.

HE’LL TAKE IT
OUT OF THE JURISDICTION.

KNOWS HE’S NEVER
DOING IT AGAIN.

COMES AFTER
WITH HIS LAWYER

WITH THE STORY
HOW IT HAPPENED

GETTIN’ HIS HANDS CLEAN
AND HIS MIND RIGHT.

NEXT HARD‐ON, HE NEEDS
TO PUSH IT A LITTLE FARTHER.

LET ME TRY IT
ON MY HOME FIELD.

YEAH, ASSUMING HE DIDN’T
CROAK ANYBODY IN BETWEEN.

SO, DO YOU THINK CULLINAN
TELLS SINCLAIR THE TRUTH?

I THINK HE LIES...

IN RESPONSE TO SINCLAIR
SAYING, "LIE TO ME."

BOBBY’D GET
REALLY CRAZY, TOO.

I WANTED IT TO WORK
WITH LEO.

THE BOYS REALLY
LOOKED UP TO HIM.

YOU’RE DONE?

THEY LOOK UP TO
MARK McGWIRE EVEN MORE,

AND I WOULDN’T TAKE
THAT CRAP OFF HIM, EITHER.

SO, YOU’LL TAKE HIM
TO THE TOMBS?

YEAH. WE GOT HIM.

ANDY AND SORENSON WILL
TAKE HIM OVER, GUYS.

BE A SHAME
IF MR. CULLINAN

COULDN’T GET ARRAIGNED
TILL TOMORROW NIGHT.

WE’LL SEE WHAT KIND OF
BACKBONE OUR D. A. HAS.

ANYWAYS, GOOD JOB.

YEAH. THANKS, BOSS.

FROSTY LAGER?

NAH.

I’M GONNA STICK AROUND
A WHILE, JAMES.

WANT TO WATCH
THE MIGHTY BROUGHT LOW?

NAH. I’M GONNA KEEP
EXCAVATING THESE NOTEBOOKS.

YOU’RE GONNA
KEEP DIGGING

TILL YOU FIND ROBERTS’
ORIGINAL OUTFIT?

AH, YOU MIGHT AS WELL
BE THOROUGH.

THE THOUGHT
OF MR. CULLINAN

PENNED WITH THEM
LOWER SOCIAL TYPES...

GET YOUR JOLLIES NOW

BEFORE THAT BEADY‐EYED
CONEHEAD STARTS DOING
HIS LEGAL TRICKS.

Roberts, narrating:
HERE I GO,

TRYING TO BREAK
MY CHERRY.

WELL, LOOK WHO
JUST WALKED IN.

HIYA, MIKE.

WHAT ARE YOU, DONNA,

MOONLIGHTING
AS A BILL COLLECTOR

BESIDES BEING A P.A.A.
IN THE DETECTIVE SQUAD

OF THE POLICE STATION HOUSE
WHERE I FORMERLY WORKED?

I DON’T GOT
A SECOND JOB,

NOR EVEN A FIRST ONE
JUST NOW.

HOW’D THAT HAPPEN?

I DON’T KNOW.

YOU TELL ME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, ANYWAY?

I GUESS I GOT SOMEWHAT
OF A CRUSH ON YOU,

AND I QUIT MY JOB
HOPING YOU’D HIRE ME.

WELL, I’M FLATTERED,

BUT IT’S A LITTLE SLOW
WITH MY SHINGLE JUST UP.

YOU WERE ALWAYS
VERY TRUTHFUL, MIKE.

YOU KNOW, A LOT
OF TIMES, YOU...

HAVEN’T GOT EVEN A VAGUE
IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOIN’.

HMM.

THIS IS THE FIRST THING
I’VE ATTEMPTED.

I WAS SITTIN’ HERE...
HOPING A CASE BEGINS.

MAYBE I’LL BE
YOUR LUCKY CHARM,

’CAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU.

YOU GOT SHORTCOMINGS,

BUT I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN

YOU’RE TRYING TO BE
A GOOD PERSON.

I HOPE TO BE
AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU

JUST SITTIN’ AT MY DESK.

I GUESS EVERYONE
NEEDS SOMEONE
TO BELIEVE IN THEM

AT THE BEGINNING
OF THINGS.

I’LL BELIEVE IN YOU,

EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

YOU DEFINITELY ADD
TO THE FURNISHINGS.

Roberts, margin notes:
USE HER TO ENCOURAGE
THE DETECTIVE.

SHE CAN HELP HIM OUT,
GIVE HIM ADVICE.

YOU KNOW, KEEP HIM GOING.

SHE’LL ALWAYS
CHEER HIM UP.

EVERYONE LIKES
A BEAUTIFUL BROAD.

MAYBE I CAN DO THIS.