NYPD Blue (1993–2005): Season 5, Episode 10 - Rememberance of Humps Past - full transcript

[HER USUAL SOUTHERN DRAWL]
MR. SEGAL, YOUR SUPER
HAS ENTERED MY APARTMENT

WITH HIS PASSKEY

AND LAID IN WAIT
TO SHOW ME HIS PRIVATES
FOR THE FINAL TIME!

OH! IS JOHN THERE NOW?

ARE HIS GENITALS INSIDE
HIS PANTS OR OUT?!

I'M SICK OF JOHN'S TALK
OF BEING EX‐CIA, MR. SEGAL!

I'M SICK OF HIM
MAKING UP REPAIR EXCUSES

AND THEN FINDING HIM GOING
THROUGH MY UNDIE DRAWER!

AND I AM MOST
ESPECIALLY SICK

[ACCENT BECOMES AUSTRALIAN]
OF PUTTING OUT THE GARBAGE
AS I DID THIS MORNING

AND COMING BACK
TO MY APARTMENT



TO FIND TRUSTY SUPER
JOHN STROLLING OUT
OF MY BATHROOM

WITH HIS OLD FELLA
SWINGING NEAR THE GROUND

PRETENDING
HE JUST HAD TO PISS!

OH, BUGGER OFF
ABOUT MY ACCENT!

I'M SERVING NOTICE:
I WANT A FULL DEPOSIT
RETURNED,

AND IF I DON'T GET IT,
MR. SEGAL,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE
HEARING FROM ONE
OF THE DETECTIVES

I WORK WITH CLOSELY
ON A DAILY BASIS!

[HER USUAL SOUTHERN DRAWL]
MORNING, DETECTIVE.

MORNING.

MAY I HELP YOU, SIR?

IS THAT YOU, ANDY?

WHO'S THAT, WALLY?

HEY, HOW YOU DOING,
HUH?



GEE, WHAT IT'S BEEN,
LIKE 30 YEARS?

WELL, IT'S COMPLICATED,
ANDY, AND, UH,

SOMETHING I'D AS SOON
NOT DISCUSS PUBLICLY.

OH. UH, YEAH, WE'LL‐‐
COME ON.

WE CAN TALK IN HERE.

MORNING.

HOW'S IT GOING?

MORNING.

MORNING,
DETECTIVE.

SO WHAT'S NEW,
NAOMI?

OH, I HAVE TO
CHANGE APARTMENTS

DUE TO HARASSMENT
FROM MY BUILDING SUPER.

I BELIEVE I MADE MY CASE
FOR RETURN OF MY DEPOSIT,

EVEN THOUGH I'M...
BREAKING THE LEASE.

GOOD.

THIS STUFF'S
USUALLY DRINKABLE.

NO, THEY WON'T LET ME
NO MORE, ANDY.

NO, HUH?

NO, I GET THESE
IRREGULAR HEARTBEATS.

I GOT SOME OF THESE
DECAF PACKETS.

NO, I'VE TRAINED MYSELF
OFF IT ENTIRELY.

I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.

I MEAN, I DON'T NEED
NOTHIN' TO DRINK.

I GOT SOME PROBLEMS
WITH MY DAUGHTER

I'M AT MY WITS' END
ABOUT.

WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS?

SH‐SHE'S HAD SOME MINOR
SCRAPES WITH YOU PEOPLE‐‐

PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS...

PRESENCE OF FIGHTING.

I'M SURE SHE'S EXPERIMENTED
WITH ALL KINDS OF SUBSTANCES,

BUT NOW SHE'S INVOLVED
WITH A KID THAT I KNOW
IS A GENUINELY BAD KID.

NAME TONY.

WHAT'S THIS GENUINELY
BAD KID UP TO?

WELL, THIS KID'S BEEN KNOWN
TO BRANDISH A WEAPON,

THREATENS HER AND SO FORTH,
AND HE'LL HAVE SUDDEN
AMOUNTS OF MONEY.

DOES HE DO STICKUPS?

I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HIM,

BUT SHE THINKS HE'S EXCITING.

NOW, THIS IS WITH SHINERS

AND WITH HER ARM IN A SLING
AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

HOW OLD IS YOUR GIRL?

SHE'S 23 YEARS OF AGE
AND ACTING LIKE THIS.

HER MOM'S
IN LAUGHLIN, NEVADA.

SHE LEFT 11 YEARS AGO.

SHE'S A SLOT‐MACHINE
ADDICT.

WHAT WOULD YOU WANT ME
TO DO HERE, WALLY?

THERE'S THIS GIRL
THAT'S HER, UH, ROOMMATE.

SOMEHOW THAT'S TURNED
THE TEMPERATURE UP

WHERE THIS TONY,
HE'S THREATENING MURDER.

WHICH MY DAUGHTER
DON'T CALL ME.
SHE DOES.

THE ROOMMATE?

YEAH, AND SHE'S GOT SOME TYPE
OF COMPLEX HERSELF, ANDY,
THAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT.

MAKE A GUESS.

WELL, SOME TYPE
OF COMPLEX.

I MEAN, SHE'S A NICE
ENOUGH GIRL. UH...

SHE'S A CARPENTER'S
APPRENTICE.

DRESSES KIND OF MANLY.

I COULDN'T HAZARD A GUESS.

YOU WANT ME TO TALK
TO YOUR DAUGHTER.

I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING, ANDY.

REMEMBER BRUCIE HOAG,
WAS IN SCHOOL WITH US?

YEAH. YEAH,
HOW'S HE DOING?

HIS DAUGHTER GOT KILLED
IN A CAR WRECK,

DRIVING DRUNK.

I TRIED HAVING HIM
TALK TO CARLA,

BUT THAT WENT NOWHERE.

AND, YOU KNOW,
BRUCE'S GOT HIS OWN
HEALTH PROBLEMS, TOO.

NOBODY'S GETTIN'
NO YOUNGER, HUH?

[LAUGHS]

35 YEARS...

I, UH...

WALK IN HERE LAYING
MY DIFFICULTIES
IN YOUR LAP.

THEY GIVE ME A SALARY
FOR THAT.

LISTEN, UH...

WRITE DOWN
YOUR DAUGHTER'S
ADDRESS AND, UH...

IF YOU KNOW
THIS TONY'S
LAST NAME.

THAT'S MORESCO...

AND, UH, I HALFWAY
TOLD HER THAT MAYBE, UH,

YOU'D BE COMING BY
TO SEE 'EM.

OH, YOU KNOW, MY SISTER'S
ALWAYS ASKING ABOUT YOU.

DORIS.

HMM.

TELL HER I SAID HI.

I WAS IN SCHOOL
WITH THAT GUY

THROUGH
THE 12th GRADE.

WHEW, HE'S AGED
CONSIDERABLY.

SAY, ANDY, YOU EVER NOTICE
THAT NAOMI TALKING FUNNY?

YOU KNOW, LIKE WITH
A DIFFERENT ACCENT.

BOY, YOU ARE A HELL
OF A DETECTIVE.

I'M SAYING
AN ACCENT DIFFERENT
THAN SOUTHERN ACCENT.

NO, WHY? SHE USE
A DIFFERENT ACCENT
WITH YOU?

I THOUGHT I HEARD
A DIFFERENT ACCENT...

LIKE AUSTRALIAN.

WHAT, LIKE THAT IDIOT
WITH THE BIG KNIFE?

AH, MAYBE I JUST
HEARD IT WRONG.

LOOK, I NEED TO TAKE
AN HOUR'S LOST TIME.

CAN YOU TELL THE BOSS?

MM‐HMM.

ASSUMING I'M DONE
BY THEN.

HEY, UH, STEVIE PRETTY.

DO YOU HAVE A DETECTIVE
AROUND HERE I COULD TALK TO?

DETECTIVE?

THIS IS MR. PRETTY.
HE ASKED IF HE COULD
SPEAK TO A DETECTIVE.

I'M DETECTIVE MARTINEZ.
WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH?

NOT HERE.
[RATTLES JAR CONTENTS]

GREG.

THAT'S MY PARTNER,
DETECTIVE MEDAVOY.

Pretty:
ALL RIGHT.

MR. PRETTY.
HOW DO YOU DO?

FOLLOW ME.

Martinez:
HAVE A SEAT.

SO, UH...

WHAT'S IN THE JAR?

I OWN THE PRETTY PAWN
ON 5th.

GUY COMES IN
LATE YESTERDAY‐‐

SHAGGY HAIR,
BLACK NAILS.

JUNKIE, NO DOUBT.

COMES IN WITH THESE.

SAYS THEY'RE FROM RELATIVES
PASSED DOWN OVER THE YEARS.

SAYS HE'S A NEW DAD,

AND HIS BABY NEEDS
CLOTHES AND WHATNOT.

B.S. FRONT TO BACK.

YOU BOUGHT
THESE TEETH?

ME, NO. I, UH,
GOT 'EM ON APPROVAL.

HOW'S THAT WORK?
I TOLD THE GUY,

BEFORE I CAN MAKE
A PRICE FOR HIM,

I'D HAVE TO WEIGH IT OUT‐‐

YOU KNOW, SEPARATE THE GOLD
FROM THE TEETH.

THIS COLLECTION AIN'T
FROM NO HANDED‐DOWN GROUP
OF RELATIVES, DETECTIVE.

WE'RE LOOKING
AT SOME ORGANIZED
INVASION OF THE DEAD.

SOME MORTUARY TIE‐IN
OR THE LIKE.

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED
IF YOU WERE RIGHT.

SO WHEN ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO SEE THIS GUY AGAIN?

9 A. M. PUNCTUAL,
TOMORROW MORNING.

WANNA BE THERE?

I THINK PROBABLY
WE WOULD.

I GOT, UH, 2 MOVING
VIOLATIONS PENDING,
DETECTIVES.

BOTH QUESTIONABLE.

IS THAT SO?

YEAH. I DON'T MIND
THE FINES,

BUT SUSPENSION PREVENTS ME
FROM SEEING MY SISTER
THAT'S TUBERCULAR,

UPSTATE IN, UH,
BOSTON SPA.

WE COULD PROBABLY
LOOK INTO THAT
FOR YOU.

HOW FAST WERE
YOU GOING?

THEY SAID 72 AND 77 MPH,
ALLEGEDLY.

ON CITY STREETS?

WEST SIDE HIGHWAY.

Martinez: ANY ALCOHOL
CONSUMPTION INVOLVED?

PASSED BOTH BALLOON TESTS.

ASSUMING THIS TURNS OUT
HOW YOU DESCRIBED,

WE'LL LOOK INTO THAT
FOR YOU, VOIDING
THE SUSPENSION.

HERE'S MY PARTICULARS‐‐
LOCATION AND SO FORTH.

WE'LL CONTACT YOU
LATER ON.

LET YOU KNOW HOW
WE'RE GONNA DO THIS.

ONCE THIS JUNKIE
GETS HIS DESSERTS,

I'D APPRECIATE CONSIDERATION
ON THE CONTENTS IN THIS JAR.

YEAH, WE CAN CHECK
INTO THOSE LEGALITIES.

[COUGHS]

TEETH‐ROBBING
OF THE DEAD.

YEAH, LET'S RUN IT
FOR THE BOSS.

I'M GONNA HEAR THOSE MOLARS
CLATTERING ONTO THE TABLE,
JAMES,

UNTIL AT LEAST LUNCHTIME.

Diane:
SEE YOU TOMORROW, ANDY.

YEAH. SEE YOU
TOMORROW.

[CLEARING THROAT]

THIS, UH, WALLY SAYERS
THAT COME TO SEE ME...

ARE YOU GOING TO
SEE HIS DAUGHTER?

GOD ONLY KNOW WHAT
THE SHOT IS THERE.

ANYWAYS, UH...

WALLY'S SISTER DORIS‐‐

MY LAST YEAR
IN HIGH SCHOOL...

YEAH, HUH?

WHOO, THIS GIRL,
SHE HAD SOME CHEST ON HER,

AND NOT BAD‐LOOKING OVERALL.

SO IT GOT SERIOUS?

A LOT MORE SERIOUS
THAN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN,

WHICH I STILL
FEEL BAD ABOUT.

[CLEARING THROAT]

WHAT HAPPENED..

WE WERE AT THE, UH,
THE FALLON RECORD HOP,

SO ON, SO FORTH,
AND, UH...

WE WIND UP OUT
IN MY BUDDY'S CAR.

IT'S FREEZING COLD,

AND, UH, IT'S
A LITTLE STUDEBAKER.

I MEAN, LITTLE.

THIS WAS NO SMALL GIRL,
YOU KNOW.

I WAS A FOOTBALL PLAYER,
I WASN'T SMALL,

AND SHE WOULDN'T GET
IN THE BACKSEAT ANYWAYS.

ANYWAYS, UH...

IT HAPPENS.

AFTERWARDS‐‐I MEAN,
I KNEW THAT WE WEREN'T
GOING ANYWHERES.

AND FOR ONE THING
I'M GOING OVERSEAS,

I MEAN,
THAT'S A WHOLE...

AND, UH...

ANOTHER THING‐‐

HER LEFT EYE...

WANDERED A LITTLE BIT,
YOU KNOW,

AND THAT WOULD DISTRACT ME.

ANYWAY, THE POINT IS...

AFTERWARDS,
I REALIZED THAT

I HADN'T THROWN ANYWHERE
NEAR MY BEST HUMP AT HER,

SO, ON ONE HAND, I KNOW THAT
WE SHOULDN'T GO OUT ANYMORE,

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND,
I'M THINKING TO MYSELF,

IF I DON'T DATE
DORIS AGAIN,

SHE'S GONNA THINK WHEN WE WERE
IN THAT LITTLE STUDEBAKER,

I THREW HER MY BEST HUMP.

NO, YOU CAN'T
HAVE THAT.

MMM.

THAT WAS MY DILEMMA.

SO, UH...

SO I WOUND UP BORROWING
ANOTHER BUDDY'S BUICK,

AND I THREW HER
A FIRST‐RATE HUMP.

BUT OFF THAT,

I BEGAN TO‐‐TO REALIZE

THAT SHE FELT THAT WE MIGHT
HAVE SOME POSSIBILITIES,

WHICH I ALWAYS FELT
BAD ABOUT.

SO, UH, HAVE YOU
SEEN HER SINCE?

THAT'S THE FIRST
I HEARD OF HER.

WALLY SENDING HER REGARDS,
YOU KNOW.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL HER.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TIE MY FEET TOGETHER
TO A STREET CLEANER

AND DRAG ME
AROUND THE BOROUGH
FOR A COUPLE HOURS.

ARE YOU EXPECTING ME?
I'M ANDY SIPOWICZ.

I'M MARGO.

WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?

LAGRIMISSIMA.

WE HAVE, UH,
CHEESE AND CRACKERS
AND NUTS.

WANT SOMETHING
TO DRINK?

UH, MAYBE ANY KIND
OF CARBONATED WATER
OR SOFT DRINK.

ARE YOU REAL GLAD
YOU MADE ME WEAR
THIS SHIRT?

THE STAIN WOULDN'T
COME OUT?
NO.

Andy: CARLA?

I'M ANDY SIPOWICZ.

YEAH, I KNOW.
THE POLICE
DETECTIVE.

YOU WANNA ARREST ME
FOR MY RELATIONSHIP?

I THOUGHT
THE PERSECUTION LAWS
WERE REVOKED.

HE WANTS SOME CLUB SODA.
I THINK WE HAVE SOME
CANADA DRY IN THERE.

YEAH, SECOND SHELF
OF THE REFRIGERATOR.

I'M NOT HERE TO ARREST
NOBODY, CARLA.

YOUR FATHER WAS WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.

YEAH, HE FREAKS OUT
OVER TONY, HE FREAKS
OUT OVER MARGO.

WHAT'S GONNA MAKE
HIM HAPPY, HUH?

YOU CARE IF
HE'S HAPPY?

I CARE ABOUT MAKING
A LIFE FOR MYSELF,
ALL RIGHT?

WHICH I HAVE A RIGHT
TO DO.

AND SHE AND I
HAVE A RIGHT
TO OUR LIFESTYLE,

AND IF I CHOOSE
TO SEE TONY, I HAVE
A RIGHT TO THAT, TOO.

TONY IS A SCUMBAG WHO'S
GONNA RUIN YOUR LIFE.

WHICH IS MY CHOICE
THAT I HAVE THE RIGHT
TO MAKE.

ARE YOU AWARE TONY'S
GOT A RECORD?

I BROUGHT HIS SHEET
TO SHOW YOU.

UNNECESSARY.

I AM AWARE
OF TONY'S PAST.

ARE YOU HIGH, CARLA?

THIS HAPPENS TO BE
OUR APARTMENT

IN WHICH
YOU ARE A GUEST.

I DON'T APPROVE
OF DRUGS,

[DOORBELL BUZZES]
BUT THAT IS
A PRIVACY ISSUE.

WHO'S THIS GONNA BE?

[BUZZ]

[BUZZ]
I DON'T KNOW.

IF THAT'S HIM,
I DON'T WANNA HEAR
ANY GARBAGE FROM YOU.

[BUZZ]
IF THAT'S HIM,
HE'S NOT COMING
IN HERE.

IF HE'S NOT COMING IN,
I'M GOING OUT.

IS THIS YOUR PAL
TONY?

[BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ]
YOU KNOW,
I HAVE A RIGHT
TO MY FRIENDSHIPS.

[BUZZ]
THAT'S WHY I WAKE UP GLAD
THAT I FOUGHT OVERSEAS, CARLA,

[BUZZ]
SO THAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU

CAN MAKE SUCH GOOD USE
OF THEIR RIGHTS.

OOH, LOOK
WHO'S HERE.

NO, SOMEBODY ELSE IS
SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT.

Margo: DON'T MAKE ANY
TROUBLE HERE, TONY.

I WAS REFERRING TO YOU,

ASSUMING YOU'RE
THE NEW YORK CITY
LAW ENFORCEMENT COP.

SO YOU TELL HIM TO COME HERE
WHEN I'M HERE?

WELL, SINCE YOU'RE HERE
INTERFERING WITH MY LIFE,

I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D WANNA
MEET EVERYBODY INVOLVED.

NO, NO,
WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS

TONIGHT THIS WAS
HOW YOU COULD MAKE
A MESS OF THINGS

AND YOU COULD MAKE PEOPLE
THAT REALLY CARE FOR YOU
MISERABLE.

OH, YOU MADE A GOOD
IMPRESSION ON HIM, MARGY.

I ASKED YOU, PLEASE
DON'T CALL ME THAT.

THIS GUY PROBABLY
LIKES WOMEN SAVING FOR
SEX‐CHANGE OPERATIONS.

OPEN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN,

AND YOU'RE GONNA
GET BITCH‐SLAPPED,
ALL RIGHT, TONY?

I WAS INVITED HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

Margo: THIS IS MY APARTMENT.

YOU WANNA EMBARRASS ME
IN FRONT OF STRANGERS?

I'M NOT TRYING TO
EMBARRASS YOU, I'M‐‐

COME ON.
WE'RE GONNA GO.

YOU TELL MY FATHER

TO STAY OUT
OF MY BUSINESS.

AND THEN TELL YOURSELF
THAT IN THE MIRROR.

I'D TELL YOU THAT,
TOO, MARGO,

BUT YOURS PROBABLY BREAKS
EVERY TIME YOU WALK BY IT.

BEST THING YOU CAN DO...

THROW HER STUFF
OUT IN THE STREET
AND CHANGE THE LOCKS.

I'M SORRY
THINGS EXPLODED.

GOOD MORNING,
LIEUTENANT.

NAOMI.

HOW'S JENNIFER?

SHE'S GOING TO SCHOOL
TOMORROW.

OH, WONDERFUL.

EVER SINCE YOU TOLD ME

SHE HAD
HER APPENDIX REMOVED
THROUGH HER BELLY BUTTON,

I'VE HAD
SUCH A WEIRD IMAGE
IN MY HEAD.

GOOD MORNING, ANDY.

YEAH,
GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.
MORNING, DETECTIVE.

THAT'S THE WAY THEY SEEM
TO DO THE APPENDECTOMIES
THESE DAYS.

I JUST WITNESSED
THE TERMINATION

OF AMERICAN SOCIETY
LAST NIGHT

AND THE DIRECTION
IT'S ALL HEADED.

SO WHERE'D YOU SEE
ALL THIS?

IN THE APARTMENT OF
A SEX‐CHANGE ASPIRANT,

WHO, UH, WAS ACTUALLY
A NICE PERSON...

AND THE TRASH‐MOUTH DAUGHTER
OF A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND
OF MINE

ASKED ME TO GIVE HER
SOME LIFE ADVICE,

WHICH WOULD BE TO
FIT HERSELF INTO A BAG

AND THROW HERSELF
INTO THE EAST RIVER,

PLUS HER GLUE‐SNIFFING
HUMP OF A BOYFRIEND.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

DO YOU WANT
SOME COFFEE?

MAYBE LATER.

15th SQUAD.

YOU GOING TO HAVE
SOME TEA, BOBBY?

UH, YEAH,
IN A MINUTE.

YEAH, WELL,
I'M GOING TO HAVE
SOME COFFEE.

DETECTIVE,
ISN'T THIS THE ADDRESS

YOU WERE SIGNED OUT TO
LAST EVENING?

OH, MAN.

NEVER MIND WHAT KIND
OF SICK SCUMBAG ASSHOLES.

YOU TELL ME, HOW STUPID
DO THOSE PEOPLE HAVE TO BE

TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT
THE SAME NIGHT THAT
I'M IN THAT APARTMENT?

DETECTIVES,

THIS NEIGHBOR SAYS

THAT GUY COME OUT OF
THE APARTMENT BUILDING

20 MINUTES
BEFORE WE GOT HERE.

HE SEEN HIM COME BACK ON
THE BLOCK 3 TIMES SINCE,

LIKE HE'S LOOKING
TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU KNOW
WHO THIS IS?

Simone: WHO?

THIS IS BRUCE HOAG
THAT WALLY SAYERS
TOLD ME ABOUT ASKING

TO SEE THAT
SICK PIECE OF GARBAGE
THAT'S HIS DAUGHTER

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

YOU THINK
HE WAS INVOLVED?

I DON'T WHAT HE'D
BE INVOLVED FOR,

BUT I'M GONNA BE
AWFUL SURPRISED IF HE
WASN'T IN THAT APARTMENT.

BRUCE?

ANDY?

YEAH.
ANDY SIPOWICZ.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,
ANDY?

WHAT'S GOING ON
IS WALLY SAYERS'
DAUGHTER'S ROOMMATE

GOT MURDERED, BRUCE.

WALLY SAYERS' DAUGHTER?

WALLY SAYERS' DAUGHTER.
CORRECT.

IS THAT SO?
YEAH.

AND I'M TOLD, BRUCE,

THAT WALLY ASKED YOU
TO VISIT HER

JUST A COUPLE
OF WEEKS AGO.

I DIDN'T REALIZE
THAT WAS THIS STREET.

YOU DIDN'T REALIZE
IT WAS THIS STREET

THAT YOU VISITED HER ON
JUST 2 WEEKS AGO?

I DIDN'T REALIZE
IT WAS THE SAME STREET.

I'M OVER HERE
MAKING A DELIVERY, ANDY.

I'M HOLDING DOWN A JOB,
MAKING DELIVERIES,
BEST I CAN...

CONSISTENT WITH
MY HEALTH PROBLEMS.

WALLY SAID YOU
WERE HAVING SOME
HEALTH DIFFICULTIES.

THIS IS MY PARTNER,
DETECTIVE SIMONE.

THIS IS
A FELLOW SCHOOLMATE OF
WALLY SAYERS AND MINE‐‐

BRUCE HOAG.

Simone: HOW'S IT GOING,
MR. HOAG?

WE'RE BOTH DETECTIVES,
BRUCE,

INVESTIGATING
A HOMICIDE TOOK PLACE

IN THE APARTMENT OF
WALLY SAYERS' DAUGHTER.

UH‐HUH.

WHICH YOU'RE SAYING

YOU'RE ON THE STREET
PRESENTLY

AND NO CONNECTION TO,
EVEN THOUGH 2 WEEKS AGO
YOU WERE VISITING HER.

ANDY, I WAS MAKING
A DELIVERY HERE.

AND BEING ON THE STREET,

IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT
YOU MIGHT HAVE STOPPED BY

TO SEE THIS CARLA?

NO.

I'M IN VIRTUALLY COMPLETE
LIVER FAILURE.

I DON'T NEED TO BORROW
OTHER PEOPLE'S TROUBLE.

I'M NOT LOOKING TO PUT
YOU IN TROUBLE, BRUCE.

I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT THE HELL
YOU'RE DOING HERE.

I'M MAKING
A DELIVERY.

WRITE DOWN WHERE
WE CAN REACH YOU LATER.

OK.

SURE.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
OTHERWISE?

[GRUNTS] ADDRESS
AND PHONE NUMBER.

MY BUDDY'S DAUGHTER
AND HER GLUE‐HEAD BOYFRIEND

BLUDGEONED A POOR
HERMAPHRODITE TO DEATH.

SHE‐‐SHE WAS
A HERMAPHRODITE?

OR WHATEVER
HER PROBLEM WAS.

THE POINT IS,

I GOTTA GET THE DAUGHTER'S
USUAL PLACES FROM WALLY

AND WHERE TO GRAB UP
THIS PSYCHO BOYFRIEND.

WE KNOW THEY DID IT?

A NEIGHBOR SAW ANOTHER GUY
LEAVING THE DOA's APARTMENT.

THIS IS BRUCE HOAG.

ANDY KNOWS THIS GUY,

AND HE'S PRETTY SURE
HE WASN'T INVOLVED.

I'M SURE BRUCE HOAG,
THAT'S MAKING A DELIVERY
ON THE STREET,

SUDDENLY REMEMBERS
THAT'S WHERE
THE SKELL DAUGHTER LIVES

THAT WALLY ASKED HIM
SEVERAL WEEKS AGO

TO TRY
TO STRAIGHTEN HER OUT.

BRUCE FINDS THE DOOR OPEN
AND THE POOR HERMAPHRODITE
MURDERED,

CALLS 911, AND HE WAITS.

YOU WANT US
TO PICK HIM UP, RIGHT?

I'LL GET
THE SKELL DAUGHTER'S
USUAL PLACES FROM WALLY,

AND WE'LL GIVE THOSE
TO ANTICRIME,

AND THEN WE'LL
GO GET BRUCE.

YEAH,
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

HE'S IN A MOOD TODAY.

YEAH, HUH?

HOW DID YOU DO
WITH THE TEETH?

OH, GUY WHO TRIED
TO SELL 'EM'S IN
THE POKY ROOM, BOSS.

THIS GHOUL‐LOOKING JUNKIE
DARREN.

WE WERE IN
THE PAWNSHOP BACK ROOM

WHEN HE COME IN
FOR HIS PRICE
FOR THE GOLD FILLINGS.

GRABBED HIM UP THERE.

SO YOU'RE
GONNA FLIP HIM

FOR WHO HIRED HIM
TO DISINTER THE BODIES?

YEAH, WE FIGURE
IT'S PROBABLY, UH‐‐UH,

MORTUARY OPERATOR
OR SOMEONE OWNS
A GRAVEYARD.

OK.

GOT IT.

HE DON'T SEEM
IN SUCH A BAD MOOD.

I DON'T LIKE THE DEAD,

AND THEY DON'T LIKE ME.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

ALL RIGHT,
SIT DOWN.

YOU AND THE DEAD
NOT GETTING ALONG,

PLUS LOCKING YOUR LIPS UP
LIKE THAT,

THAT COMBINATION'S GONNA
EARN YOU 5 YEARS, DARREN.

YOU'D RATHER
GET LOCKED UP FOR MURDER
THAN GRAVE‐ROBBING, DARREN.

SEE, INMATES
DON'T LIKE DOING TIME

WITH PEOPLE
BEEN DIGGING UP
THEIR RELATIVES,

MAYBE PLAYING WITH THEM
INAPPROPRIATELY‐‐

I DIDN'T PLAY
WITH ANY OF 'EM.

BELIEVE ME, DARREN,

ELSEWHERE'S WHERE YOU WANT
THE RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THIS LOCATED.

NOW, DID SOMEONE HIRE YOU
TO DIG THOSE PEOPLE UP?

OH...

FIRST, I DIDN'T
DIG NOBODY UP
ON MY ACCOUNT.

SECOND, THEY DON'T
GIVE ME SQUAT,

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

10 CENTS ON A BUCK,
IF THAT.

SO I SEE
SOME TEETH WITH GOLD.

THEY DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.
I FIGURED IT'S MINE.

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE
GIVING YOU 10 CENTS
ON A DOLLAR?

THEY GOT ME
BUSTING UP CASKETS

AND PUTTING 'EM
IN DUMPSTERS

AND ANY OTHER
DAMN PLACE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THAT?

ALL RIGHT,
PUT A NAME
TO WHO HIRED YOU.

OUT WITH THE OLD,
IN WITH THE NEW.

MOVING OLD BODIES

AND OTHER OLD GRAVES.

BURYING 'EM
UNDER PARKING LOTS.

THROWING 'EM IN DUMPSTERS.

WE UNDERSTAND
WHAT THEY GOT YOU DOING.

NOW WE GOT TO KNOW WHO.

LEONARD SHEEHY.

RIDGEWOOD CEMETERY.

BY WOODHAVEN BOULEVARD.

HEY!

SIT DOWN.

DARREN...

SO MAYBE WE CAN WORK OUT
A DEAL WITH YOU

IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO WEAR A WIRE ON THIS GUY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WIRE?

A WIRE.

LIKE A SMALL MICROPHONE.

NO. NO WAY.

YOU'LL HEAR MY HEARTBEAT
AND PICK UP OTHER STUFF.
NO WAY.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH YOUR HEART?

IRREGULAR BEAT
OR SOMETHING?

YOU CALL THIS SHEEHY,
YOU TELL HIM
YOU WANT TO TALK.

MAYBE YOU'D WANT
A HIGHER PERCENTAGE
FOR THE WORK.

YEAH, THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE.
I'M DUE THAT.

YOU WEAR THE WIRE,
YOU CAN TALK TO HIM
ALL YOU WANT ABOUT THAT.

THAT SOUND OK TO YOU,
DARREN?

WILL IT PICK UP
MY HEARTBEAT?

YES OR NO?

NO. NO, THE MIKE'S
NOT THAT SENSITIVE.

BRUCE.

ANDY,
WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?

WE NEED TO ASK YOU
SOME MORE QUESTIONS
ABOUT THIS MORNING.

I DON'T HAVE MUCH
TO TELL.

WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU
DOWN AT THE STATION HOUSE.

YOU WANT TO LET SOMEBODY
KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE
TAKING OFF THIS AFTERNOON?

I GOT NOTHING TO DO
WITH ANY OF WHAT'S
GOING ON, ANDY.

Simone: TELL US
AT THE STATION HOUSE.

HEY. BRUCE...

TAKE YOUR HAND
OFF THE DOOR.

TURN AROUND
AND LOOK AT ME.

YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT
MORE OF YOUR BUSINESS
OUT HERE ON THE DOCK?

NO.

NO.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

Sheehy: WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT
YOU DRAG ME AWAY FROM
MY LIFE TO DEAL WITH?

Darren: I DON'T LIKE
HOW YOU'RE NOT GIVING ME
WHAT I'M OWED.

OWED?

I'M GIVING YOU
EASY MONEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FOR THAT, HUH?

DO YOU THINK
IT'S FUN FOR ME,

LOOKING AT
100‐YEAR‐OLD DEAD PEOPLE?

YOU ARE LOOKING AT
SOME OLD BONES
AND ROTTED WOOD.

IT'S EASIER
THAN HAULING TRASH.

YOU DIG 'EM UP,
AND YOU THROW 'EM OUT.

NOW, THAT IS IT.

THEN YOU THINK OF
ALL THE NEW PEOPLE

THAT GET TO BE
BURIED HERE.

I'M UNEASY WITH IT.

WELL, THAT IS
PRETTY HIGHFALUTIN
FOR A JUNKIE.

I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU THINK.

YOU JUST TAKE
WHAT I GIVE YOU.

IT'S ENOUGH TO SHOOT UP
THAT VEINY ARM OF YOURS.

THAT'S ENOUGH.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

WE'RE POLICE OFFICERS,
MR. SHEEHY.

WE'RE GOING TO NEED YOU
TO COME TO THE STATION
HOUSE WITH US.

Sheehy:
FOR WHAT?

COMMINGLING
OF HUMAN REMAINS.

THAT'S A FELONY
IN NEW YORK,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE
COMMINGLED IN A DUMPSTER,
YOU GHOULY SCUMBAG.

NOW, LET'S GO.
COME ON.

YOU WANT TO RUN IT
FOR MR. NITPICK?

YEAH, GO AHEAD. I'LL, UH,
I'LL BE RIGHT IN.

THIS IS BRUCE HOAG.

I WANT TO TAKE HIM
IN THERE.

ANTICRIME
FOUND THE OTHER TWO.

THAT RIGHT?

MM‐HMM.

COME ON. IN HERE.

SO THE OTHER TWO
GIVE ANTICRIME
ANY TROUBLE?

A LOT OF MOUTH,
BUT NO REAL TROUBLE.

SO THAT'S BRUCE HOAG?

YEAH...

THAT'S HIM.

I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU NEED ANY COFFEE?

I'M NOT PERMITTED
TO DRINK THAT, ANDY.

WALLY SAYERS
SAID THAT SAME THING
TO ME YESTERDAY.

I'D ASSUME WALLY SAYERS
WOULD HAVE COME
STRAIGHT TO YOU, ANDY.

NEVER GOT ME INVOLVED.

BRUCE, UH, YOU GOT
TO GET STRAIGHT

WHAT YOU WERE DOING
OUT ON THAT STREET.

I TOLD YOU ON THE STREET
WHAT I WAS DOING OUT THERE.

WHAT YOU TOLD US
ON THE STREET WASN'T
TRUTHFUL, MR. HOAG.

NOBODY'S
LOOKING TO PUT YOU

IN THE MIDDLE
OF THIS THING, BRUCE,

BUT YOU'RE GOING
TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF
IF YOU DON'T COME CLEAN.

THIS WAS AT WALLY'S REQUEST,
SPEAKING WITH HIS DAUGHTER.

THAT'S THE SUM
OF MY KNOWLEDGE
OF THAT HORNET'S NEST.

A NEIGHBOR SAW YOU LEAVING
THAT APARTMENT, BRUCE,

AND WE GOT YOUR VOICE
ON A 911 CALL.

I LOST MY DAUGHTER
TO AN ALCOHOL‐RELATED
DRIVING FATALITY.

WALLY SAYERS ASKED ME
TO TELL HIS DAUGHTER

WHAT COULD BE IN STORE
FOR HER. PERIOD.

MY GOD,

I LOST 98% FUNCTION
OF MY LIVER. NOW THIS
IS GONNA HAPPEN?

JUST ACCOUNT FOR BEING
IN THAT APARTMENT, BRUCE.

MY NAME'S GONNA BE
IN THE PAPER.

THEY'RE LIABLE TO TAKE ME
OFF THE LIVER LIST,
EVERYTHING ELSE...

MR. HOAG, COULD IT BE
HAPPENING TO BE
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

MAKING THIS DELIVERY,

BEING CONCERNED OFF OF
WHEN YOU SPOKE TO THIS
CARLA A FEW WEEKS AGO,

YOU DECIDED TO STOP BY
AND SEE HOW SHE WAS DOING?

YOU FIND WHAT YOU FIND
INSIDE THE APARTMENT,

YOU CALL IN TO 911,

AND THEN YOU STICK AROUND
TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

THEN WHEN ANDY RECOGNIZES YOU
ON THE STREET,

YOU GET A LITTLE SCARED,

AND YOU START ACTING
HOW YOU'RE ACTING NOW.

WE KNOW WHO DID THIS,
BRUCE.

JUST HELP ME
GET YOUR NAME OUT OF IT.

I'M TOO AFRAID.
I WANT A LAWYER.

[SLAPS TABLE]
DAMN IT, BRUCE,

I GOT 2 ASSHOLES
I OUGHT TO BE IN WITH
WRINGING THEIR NECKS,

OR WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE,
TO GET THIS THING
STRAIGHTENED OUT.

WE WERE IN SCHOOL TOGETHER,
ANDY. PLEASE DON'T
RAISE A HAND TO ME.

GO HOME.

GO AHEAD, MR. HOAG.

IF WE NEED YOU AGAIN,
WE KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU.

Sipowicz: I HOPE
THINGS WORK OUT
ON THE OTHER FRONT‐‐

UH, YOUR LIVER.

ALL RIGHT, ANDY.

IT WAS GOOD
SEEING YOU AGAIN.

[SIGHS]

WHAT HAPPENS
WITH THESE PEOPLE?

GO FOR THIS CARLA FIRST?

CAREFUL HOW SWEET
YOU COME ON.

HER SENSE OF DECORUM,

SHE'S LIABLE
TO TRY JUMPING YOU
RIGHT IN THE INTERVIEW.

Sipowicz: THIS IS
DETECTIVE SIMONE.

HE'S GONNA
SIT IN HERE WITH US.

CARLA.
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

CAN WE GET YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?

INCLUDING BEER?

NO. I'M AFRAID WE CAN'T
GET YOU ANY BEER.

WE'RE GONNA ASK YOU
SOME QUESTIONS.

IT'S IMPORTANT
WE FIND WHO DID THIS.

WHY?
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Simone: WELL, WE CAN
PUT WHOEVER DID THIS
IN PRISON, CARLA.

I'M NOT JUST TALKING
ABOUT A YEAR OR SO.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
A LONG, LONG TIME.

Sipowicz: THAT'S WHY
YOU WANT TO SHOW
SOME COOPERATION,

MAKING IT CLEAR THE LITTLE
YOU WERE INVOLVED.

IF AT ALL.

YEAH.

YOU THINK
I WAS INVOLVED.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I THINK.

AND IT DON'T MATTER
ANYWAY.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
WHAT HAPPENED
AT THE APARTMENT?

I THINK
IT WAS AN INTRUDER.

THERE YOU GO.

WHY SHOULD I TRY
AND PERSUADE YOU
OF ANYTHING

IF YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE
WHAT I HAVE TO SAY?

HOW ABOUT SO YOU DON'T GET
A NEEDLE IN YOUR ARM,

WITH POISON COMING OUT
INTO YOUR VEINS, CARLA, HMM?

WOULD THAT BE
A GOOD ENOUGH REASON?

I DON'T HAVE
TO PERSUADE YOU
OF ANYTHING.

I GOT A RIGHT
TO A LAWYER,

AND I GOT A RIGHT
TO BE SILENT.

THIS ONE'S BIG
ON HER RIGHTS.

YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND,
CARLA, THAT YOU SITTING
ON YOUR RIGHTS

WHILE WE BUILD A CASE
THAT'S GONNA IMPLICATE YOU,

THAT'S NOT
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

YOU GOT A RIGHT
TO A LETHAL INJECTION.

YOU GOT A RIGHT
TO A COUPLE OF YEARS
IN THE CAN

BEFORE THEY CROAK YOU,
GETTING TUNED UP
BY A CREW

OF MARAUDING AMAZON DYKES.

I SAY
IT WAS AN INTRUDER.

AND WE THINK IT WAS TONY
AND MAYBE YOU.

NO. NO WAY.
ALL RIGHT?

ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED
TO MARGO WAS OUTSIDE
OF MY CONNECTION.

IS YOUR MORON FRIEND TONY
GONNA TELL US THAT?

HE DON'T HAVE TO
TELL YOU ANYTHING
EITHER.

NO, BUT...

FAMILIAR WITH HIM
HOW YOU ARE,

THE BIGMOUTH JERK‐OFF LOSER
THAT HE IS,

YOU THINK HE'S GONNA
KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT?

SEE, WHAT HAPPENS
IN THESE SITUATIONS,
CARLA,

IS THAT SOONER OR LATER,
EVERYONE WINDS UP

LOOKING OUT FOR
THEIR OWN INTERESTS.

ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEBODY
STARTS JUMPING UP AND DOWN
ON THEIR NUTS

LIKE I'M GONNA DO
WITH TONY.

I THOUGHT
YOU AND MY DAD
WERE FRIENDS.

WE ARE, CARLA,
AND IF YOU'D SHOW
SOME COOPERATION,

MAYBE WE COULD THROW YOU
HALF A BREAK.

YOU KNOW, CARLA,
YOU'RE NOT GIVING US
ANY KIND OF WIGGLE ROOM HERE.

YOU'RE PEDDLING
THIS LAME INTRUDER THEORY,

AND THEN YOU'RE
SHOVING YOUR RIGHTS
DOWN OUR THROATS.

WHEN YOU TALK TO TONY,

IF HE SAYS THAT I
PARTICIPATED ANY MORE THAN
LEAVING THE DOOR UNLOCKED

AND BARRICADING MYSELF
IN MY BEDROOM,
HE'S LEADING YOU ASTRAY.

SO YOU WERE IN THE APARTMENT
WHEN TONY MURDERED MARGO.

I WAS NOT A WITNESS
IN THAT LIVING ROOM,

SO I CAN'T TELL YOU
WHAT WENT ON.

DID YOU HEAR HER SCREAMING,

THE POOR GIRL
SICK IN LOVE WITH YOU?

NO, I DID NOT.

I HAD EARPHONES ON,
AND I HAD PILLOWS
OVER MY HEAD.

AND YOU WANT TO BLAME HER
FOR WHAT HAPPENED?

TONY HAS
A BAD, BAD TEMPER,

ESPECIALLY WHEN
HE'S MIXING LIQUOR
WITH GLUE.

AND YOU MADE SURE

THAT HE WAS GOOD AND LOADED
ON BOTH OF THEM, RIGHT, CARLA?

TONY WAS WHITE
AND OVER 21

LAST TIME I LOOKED
AT HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
WAIT HERE, CARLA.

HE'S GOT NO DRIVER'S
LICENSE, YOU SKANKY PIG.

I'M GONNA BE
IN THE BACKSEAT HERE

TO DETECTIVE SIMONE,
TONY.

BASED ON MY APPROACH,

WE'LL BE JUMPING
UP AND DOWN
ON YOUR TESTICLES

BEFORE SAYING WORD ONE.

I AM SO EAGER
TO DO THAT.

WHICH DETECTIVE SIPOWICZ
KNOWS WOULD BE WRONG.

WRONG IN THE SENSE,
TONY,

OFF MY 10, 15 MINUTES
PLEASURE OF KICKING YOU
IN THE SCROTUM

FOR BEING THE MURDERING
SKELL SCUMBAG
THAT YOU ARE,

PROSECUTING THE CASE
AGAINST YOU
COULD BE JEOPARDIZED.

IF IN FACT
THERE IS A PROSECUTION.

Sipowicz:
NOW, DON'T LET HIM
GET OVER TO THAT EXTENT.

Simone: IF YOU COP,
GET A PLEA BARGAIN,

DON'T HAVE TO BE
NO TRIAL AT ALL.

CAN I GET A WORD IN
EDGEWISE HERE?

JUST BE AWARE
THAT YOUR LOYAL BANG CARLA

ALREADY TOLD US
WHAT HAPPENED, TONY.

YOU EXECUTING MARGO
IN THE LIVING ROOM

WITH CARLA
TRAPPED IN THE BEDROOM,
TRYING TO COME TO HER AID.

YOU KNOW WHAT CARLA
WAS DOING IN THE BEDROOM?

SHE HAD EARPHONES ON
LISTENING TO LED ZEPPELIN.

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN,
YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE SHE THOUGHT
THAT WOULD BE FUNNY,
HER LISTENING TO THAT

WHILE WHAT WAS HAPPENING
IN THE LIVING ROOM
WAS HAPPENING.

WITH YOU SENDING MARGO
TO HEAVEN, RIGHT?

TAKING A SLEDGEHAMMER
TO MARGO.

I WAS ACTING
IN SELF‐DEFENSE.

HOW DID THAT
COME ABOUT, TONY?

YOU BROUGHT
THE SLEDGEHAMMER OVER,

JUST EXPECTING
YOU MIGHT BE ATTACKED?

I BROUGHT
THE SLEDGEHAMMER

BEING SICK OF THAT
SEX FREAK'S THREATS.

OH, YOU WERE SICK OF
MARGO THREATENING YOU.

BELIEVE ME,
CARLA NEVER LOVED
THAT SICK‐LOOKING GEEK.

SHE WAS GOOFIN' ON MARGO.

SHE LIKED PISSIN' ME OFF
AND FREAKIN' OUT HER DAD.

THE LITTLE SLUT DIDN'T
CARE WHO DID WHAT
TO HER, ANYWAY,

AS LONG AS
IT GOT HER OFF.

INTERRUPTING OUR INTERVIEW
APPROACH WITH YOU HERE

JUST FOR A SECOND, TONY...

GO AHEAD,
FINISH YOUR THOUGHT.

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOIN' ON?

HERE? WELL, WE'RE TALKING
TO SOMEONE THAT EVERYONE
IN THIS ROOM KNOWS

PREMEDITATED
SLAUGHTERING A GIRL
WHOSE ONLY CRIME

WAS LOVING
THE PIECE OF GARBAGE
THAT YOU WERE INVOLVED WITH.

SO WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE
THAT MUCH MORE TO DO WITH YOU,

AND WITH THE D. A. s
AND THE JUDGES

TENDING TO PAY ATTENTION
TO WHAT WE SAY,

WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU
PUT A STATEMENT TOGETHER

SAYING THAT THIS
WAS A CRIME OF PASSION.

SO, LIKE IT WASN'T
PREMEDITATED.

EXACTLY.

WHICH MAYBE GETS YOU
A SHOT AT 15 YEARS
WITH PAROLE ELIGIBILITY

INSTEAD OF FIRST‐DEGREE
MURDER, WHICH, LIKE I SAID,

JUST BETWEEN US BOYS HERE,
WE ALL KNOW YOU OUGHT TO GET.

I THINK YOU BROKE MY JAW.

Sipowicz: YOU'RE
ENUNCIATING CLEARLY.

THAT HAPPENED RUNNING
FOR THE DOOR THERE, TONY.

RUN FOR IT AGAIN.
I'LL SHOW YOU AGAIN
HOW YOU DID IT.

YOU KNOW,
HOW YOU PEOPLE WORK
IS SICKENING.

TONY, THINK BACK
TO THE LAST 5 MINUTES
OF THAT GIRL'S LIFE

THAT DID NOTHING
TO DESERVE WHAT WAS
HAPPENING TO HER,

WHAT SHE MUST
HAVE BEEN FEELING
TRYING TO SAVE HERSELF

WHILE YOU BEAT HER TO DEATH
WITH THAT HAMMER.

ALL RIGHT,
WHAT CHOICES HAVE I GOT?

NONE.

BELIEVE ME,
SHE EGGED ME ON
TO DO THIS.

CARLA.

AND I SHOULD NEVER
SNIFF GLUE.

HEY.

YOU ARE LUCKY
THAT MY PARTNER

IS ATTENDING HIS WIFE'S
AMNIOCENTESIS,
MR. SHEEHY,

BECAUSE HE WAS
ESPECIALLY DISGUSTED
WITH THIS SCAM OF YOURS.

MY OWN POSITION IS,
I'M WILLING TO PAY
SOME NOMINAL FEES

SO LONG AS THE MATTER
IS DISPENSED WITH
IMMEDIATELY.

OTHERWISE, I DEMAND COUNSEL,
AND I HAVE NOTHING FURTHER
TO SAY.

MR. SHEEHY,
IF THIS MATTER
IS PUBLICIZED,

YOU COULD BE LOOKING AT
EXTREMELY HIGH
CIVIL LIABILITIES.

COOPERATION
MIGHT AVOID THAT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY, UH,
COOPERATION?

I MEAN A FULL STATEMENT
OF HOW THIS
CAME TO PASS.

YOU KNOW, WHAT
YOU'RE DISTRESSED ABOUT

ISN'T ANY CRIME
THAT I MIGHT HAVE COMMITTED.

IT HAS TO DO WITH
YOUR OWN TABOOS
ABOUT DEATH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
TABOOS?

PEOPLE
DON'T LIKE SEEING
THEIR LOVED ONES

REDUCED TO
EXTRACTED MOLARS.

THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING WRONG
WITH COMMINGLING REMAINS.

THERE'S ONLY
A FINITE AMOUNT OF SPACE
AVAILABLE ON THIS EARTH

TO INDULGE PEOPLE'S ILLUSIONS

ABOUT SANCTIFYING THE DEAD.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU ARE, MR. SHEEHY?

A MERCENARY CREEP

MASQUERADING
AS SOME KIND
OF PHILOSOPHER.

CALCIUM, DENTIN, ENAMEL.

THAT'S ALL THAT'S
IN THE JAR, DETECTIVE.

AND IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHERE YOU PUT IT.

I'LL CALL YOU
WHEN YOUR LAWYER
GETS HERE, MR. SHEEHY.

'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE
YOUR ATTITUDE.

AND YOU CAN
COMMINGLE THAT.

WHAT WAS MY DAUGHTER'S
PART IN IT, ANDY?

WAS CARLA
CENTRALLY INVOLVED?

SHE WAS, WALLY, YEAH.

SHE WAS?

SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY
USE THE HAMMER,

BUT IT'S PRETTY CLEAR
THAT SHE HAD KNOWLEDGE
WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN.

SHE EGGED THIS TONY ON.

I'M SORRY.

WHAT WAS THE MOTIVE,

CONFLICT WITH HER ROOMMATE
WITH THE COMPLEX?

I'D HAVE TO SAY
IT WAS LESS A CONFLICT

THAN A THRILL‐TYPE
MOTIVE, WALLY.

A THRILL‐TYPE MOTIVE?

IF SHE'S INVOLVED
IN A MURDER
IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES,

SHE SHOULD BE TAKEN
FROM SOCIETY.

YOU WANT TO SEE HER?

IF SHE ASKS, TELL HER
I'LL PAY FOR A LAWYER.

COULD YOU DO ME
A FAVOR, WALLY?

OH, SURE. I APPRECIATE
YOUR EFFORT YOU MADE TO HELP.

BRUCE HOAG THAT YOU ASKED
TO TALK TO CARLA...

I'M SORRY
I GOT HIM INVOLVED, TOO.

WELL, EVIDENTLY
HE STOPPED BY
THE APARTMENT

THIS MORNING
TO CHECK ON CARLA.

WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME
IF IT WAS HIM
CALLED 911.

THEN HE MIGHT HAVE FOUND
THE GIRL MURDERED?

HE'S NOT ADMITTING
TO IT, BUT, UH,

I THINK
THAT'S PROBABLY
WHAT HAPPENED.

ANDY, DON'T LET HIM
GET IN TROUBLE OVER THIS.

DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT PART,

BUT IF YOU COULD
REASSURE HIM

THAT YOU DIDN'T FEEL
LIKE HE'D LET YOU
DOWN IN ANY WAY

AND SO FORTH.

OH, I'M DEFINITELY
GONNA CALL BRUCE,

ASK IF HE'LL SEE ME
SO I CAN REASSURE HIM.

Wally:
AND I HOPE HE GETS
HIS LIVER IN TIME.

THIS IS WALLY SAYERS,
MY BUDDY FROM
HIGH SCHOOL.

THIS IS MY PARTNER
BOBBY SIMONE.

GOOD TO MEET YOU, SIR.

I'M SORRY FOR
WHAT MY DAUGHTER DID.

DORIS SPEAKS OF YOU
FONDLY, ANDY.

MY SISTER.

CAN I SEND YOUR REGARDS?

TELL HER I SAID HI.

ALL RIGHT.

FOR A MORON,

THIS, UH, TONY GIVES US
CHAPTER AND VERSE.

DID HE PUT
IN THE STATEMENT

HOW WE PROMISED
TO LOWER HIS CHARGE
IF HE CONFESSED?

I TOLD HIM THIS WASN'T
THE RIGHT DOCUMENT FOR THAT.

WELL, THAT'S WHERE
THE MORON PART
CAME TO YOUR AID.

LET ME CALL
THIS BRUCE HOAG.

THAT POOR GUY
WENT INTO A VAPOR LOCK,
HUH, HE WAS SO SCARED?

I WANT TO LET HIM KNOW
WE HAVE NO PROBLEMS
WITH HIM.

[CLEARING THROAT]

THE SOLE REMAINING
TROUBLE BLIP
ON HIS RADAR SCREEN,

THE POSSIBILITY
HE DON'T GET
HIS LIVER TRANSPLANT.

NOW, LOOK AT ME,
I MEAN,

I'M IN RELATIVELY
GOOD HEALTH.

I CAN'T PISS,
I CAN'T SEE,

BUT, UH,
I'LL TELL YOU,

THIS GETTING OLD,

IT AIN'T FOR SISSIES.

YOU WANT THIS CLOSED?

PLEASE, DETECTIVE.

[DOOR CLOSES]

WE HAVE TO CONFRONT
THE EVENTS
OF YESTERDAY MORNING.

I HAVE TO CONFRONT THEM.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW I'M SPEAKING TO YOU
AT PRESENT

IS NOT MY TRUE FORM
OF SPEECH.

YOUR ACCENT.

THAT'S CORRECT.

I AM FROM AUSTRALIA.

WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING
THE WAY YOU'RE SPEAKING?

WELL, I'M NOW
GONNA START SPEAKING
WITH MY TRUE ACCENT.

[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]
I AM FROM AUSTRALIA.

I'VE BEEN LIVING HERE
FOR 2 YEARS IN MANHATTAN,

WHERE EVEN AS A PRETEEN,
I DREAMED OF LIVING
AND BECOMING A POLICEWOMAN.

MAY I PLEASE SIT DOWN?

SURE. HERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME WATER?

NO. THANKS VERY MUCH.

WITH TRAINING, I COULD BE
A GOOD POLICEWOMAN,

DON'T YOU THINK?

I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

AND IT WOULD BE
THANKS TO MY AUNT,
WHO NEVER SAID

I COULDN'T POSSIBLY
REACH MY GOAL.

ARE YOUR FOLKS‐‐
THEY'RE NOT AROUND?

I DON'T HAVE MUCH
TO DO WITH THEM.

THEY MOVED TO PERTH,
WAY ACROSS COUNTRY.

MAY I HAVE SOME WATER?

YEAH.

AS FOR MY ACCENT,

I WATCHED
THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
FAITHFULLY AS A CHILD,

AND I ALWAYS LIKED ELLY MAE.

I SEE.

I DID WATCH DRAGNET,

BUT AMONG POLICE SHOWS,
MY DEEP FAVORITE

WAS NAKED CITY,

AND I DREAMED OF BEING
A NEW YORK CITY POLICEWOMAN.

IS YOUR NAME
NAOMI REYNOLDS?

YES, IT IS.

BUT I HAVE GENERATED
A UNITED STATES IDENTITY

AS NAOMI REYNOLDS
OF DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA,

DIFFERENT FROM MY IDENTITY
AS NAOMI REYNOLDS
OF CANBERRA,

HERE IN THE UNITED STATES
ON A TEMPORARY
VISITOR'S PERMIT.

THIS HAS INVOLVED PURCHASE

OF CERTAIN FALSE
DOCUMENTATIONS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT ALL THAT?

WELL, I THINK YOU GOT
SOME BIG PROBLEMS

WITH YOUR RESIDENCY
AND YOUR CITIZENSHIP
SITUATIONS THERE, NAOMI.

I KNOW.
I KNOW I DO,

AND I HAVE BEEN AFRAID
TO PURSUE MY MAIN GOAL

WITH ALL THAT HANGING FIRE.

YOUR MAIN GOAL BEING
WANTED TO GET
ON THE JOB?

ON THE JOB.

IF YOU KNEW HOW I FEEL

HEARING THOSE WORDS
APPLIED TO ME...

EVEN IN A POSSIBLE
NEGATIVE CONTEXT.

WELL, NAOMI,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY

I'M GONNA
PUT YOU IN ANY TROUBLE
OR ANYONE HERE ON THE SQUAD,

BUT YOU DO HAVE TO REALIZE

THAT MORE LIKELY THAN NOT,
SOMETHING IS GONNA GO WRONG.

SUPPOSE
YOUR BUILDING MANAGER

DON'T WANT TO
GIVE YOUR DEPOSIT BACK.

HE'S LIABLE TO CALL
THE I. N. S.,

DROP A DIME.

THERE YOU GO.

BUT AS FAR AS THE SQUAD,

I'M SQUARE WITH YOU LOT?

YEAH, YOU‐YOU'RE
SQUARE WITH US.

I AM SO GRATEFUL, DETECTIVE.

AND I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU

THAT EVEN THOUGH
I HAVEN'T REALIZED
MY MAIN GOAL,

BEING A P.A.A.
IN THE 15th DETECTIVE SQUAD

HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HAPPIEST
EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE

AND DEFINITELY
THE HAPPIEST WORK EXPERIENCE.

I'M GLAD.

THANK YOU.

ANYWAYS, UH, I'M GONNA
GIVE ANDY THIS CONFESSION
THAT I SECURED

AND THEN I'M GONNA BE
GOING HOME.

ALL RIGHT.
AND BELIEVE ME,

I'M GONNA THINK THROUGH

HOW TO SORT OUT
MY RESIDENCY AND
CITIZENSHIP SITUATIONS.

GOOD.

DETECTIVE,
IN A GROUP SITUATION,

OBVIOUSLY I'LL CONTINUE
SPEAKING AS NAOMI REYNOLDS
OF DURHAM.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

HOW DO YOU WANT ME
TO SPEAK TO YOU

WHEN IT'S JUST
THE TWO OF US?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I COULD SPEAK TO YOU
IN MY NATIVE ACCENT

AS A SORT OF GESTURE
OF APPRECIATION,

BUT I'M AFRAID THINGS
WOULD GET TOO COMPLICATED.

YEAH, YEAH.
WELL...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
STICK WITH THE, UH,

ELLY MAE‐TYPE ACCENT
ACROSS THE BOARD?

THAT WAS MY THINKING, TOO.

THE WAY YOU HAVE
TAKEN THIS, TO ME,

IS A SPECIFIC EXAMPLE
OF EVERYTHING I ADMIRE

ABOUT THE NEW YORK CITY
POLICE FORCE.

WELL...THANKS.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU
SO MUCH.

OPEN OR CLOSED?

OPEN, PLEASE.

TEETH.

YOU, UH, GET THE 5s?

WHAT WAS THAT
ALL ABOUT?