NCIS: Los Angeles (2009–…): Season 4, Episode 10 - Free Ride - full transcript

An NCIS agent dies aboard an aircraft carrier at sea; the fearless four, undercover, fly to the ship, where they meet even more problems, but they eventually solve the crimes; Hetty joins them for Christmas underway; Nell catches Eric.

Get the hell off me!

Get up! Stand up!

Stand up. Stand up.
Stand up. Come on!

Let go of me!

Stand up! Hey!

I don't care
how you do it.

Issue a shipwide
announcement if you have to.

Just find him.
Aye, Master Chief.

Officer on deck.

As you were.

With me, Chief.



I understand
we had a situation

in the Enlisted Galley
this morning.

I'm sure they were just
letting off a little steam, sir.

The crew's probably
a little stressed

from the
extended mission.

Oh, you and I both know
that's no excuse, Master Chief.

If they're stressed now,
what the hell are they going

to be like
in a combat situation?

I want to read
the NCIS report.

That makes two of us, sir.

We still can't find
the Special Agent Afloat.

Find him.

Would NCIS
Special Agent Afloat Niles

please contact
the watch commander?



♪ NCIS: LA 4x10 ♪
Free Ride
Original Air Date on December 18, 2012

== sync, corrected by elderman ==



What's wrong
with your hat?

I don't get it.

Hetty, I-I can
explain. Uh...

Actually, no,
this is my fault.

I asked Eric to help me out
with the Toys for Tots program

I'm doing for the Marine Corps,
and, well, I thought

it would be fun for the kids
if we were dressed up.

Yes. It sounds wonderful.

But I'm afraid
it'll have to wait.

We've lost one of our own.

Rally the troops.

Mr. Beale?

You have, um,

elf head.

So, Christmas is
less than a week away.

One of the very few holidays
we get off, if we're lucky.

And you have no plans?
Nope.

Swear?
Yes.

Perfect.
No.

Yes!

No, no, nono, because I have
chosen not to do anything.

It was not by default.

I have made a conscious choice
not to do anything on Christmas.

Also known as step one

to become the crazy lady
with 30 cats.

Kensi, think about this.
Lake Tahoe.

Ski-in, ski-out cabin.
Six feet of fresh powder.

Snowboarding during day,
roaring fire at night.

I don't think so.

Do you suck?

Excuse me?

At snowboarding?

just know it takes a lot
of coordination.

Maybe we could get you,
like, a toboggan.

I can snowboard.

They have a bunny hill.
I don't need a bunny hill.

What are you so afraid of?

I'm not afraid of anything.

I could kick your ass
anytime, anywhere.

This...

double-black-diamond rated.

There is no doubt in my mind

that that is
double-black-diamond rated.

Plus, I told my mom
I'd spend Christmas with her.

Well, then, she should come.

It's a three-bedroom cabin.

Two of which are connected.

Don't even think about it.

For your mom.
Ew!

And you, so you guys
could have adjoining rooms.

What are you thinking?

Nothing.

I bet you were.

It might actually be nice to
give my mom a little vacation.

And what's better
than a white Christmas?

Just the three of us,
hanging out...

sipping hot cocoa,

watching the snow fall
on the cedars.

From the hot tub.
Oh!

You had to go there.
What?

She's a stone-cold fox.

You ruined it!
I didn't.

I made it better.
Didn't I, Nell?

Hetty needs you guys up in Ops.

Great.

Hetty needs you guys up in Ops.

Okay, we'll be right there.

Can I help you with something?

You could, if he knew
what he was looking for

or where he put it.

I didn't want
to go through that whole

Parker Pony thing
like I did last year,

so I asked my daughter
what she wanted

for Christmas in June,
and then I went out

to buy it right away.

He hid it
so she wouldn't find it.

Of course, as we know,
the memory is the first to go.

I think it had something
to do with Harry Potter.

A wand?

No.

How about an owl?

No.
No?

A sorting hat?

A what?

A broom?

You're not helping.

Eh, I'm not really trying.

Who we looking at, Eric?

Jason Niles was the NCIS
Special Agent Afloat

on the USS Van Buren.

He was discovered
dead yesterday.

Cause of death was
blunt force trauma,

either from a fall or a
deliberate bludgeoning.

Any witnesses?
No.

Suspects?

Possibly one.

Petty Officer Simon Allen is
an intelligence specialist.

Now, according to
Agent Niles's last report,

he was keeping an eye
on Petty Officer Allen

for "erratic behavior."

What does that mean?
Well, he doesn't specify in his log

but Petty Officer Allen
is currently in the brig

following an altercation
with a Marine staff sergeant

on the same morning
that the body was found.

What were they fighting about?

Not sure.

But both men tested
positive for cocaine use.

Where's the Van Buren now?

It's on its way to
the Sea of Japan

to keep North
Korea in line.

So then, what are
we supposed to do?

What you do best.

Solve the crime.

I've already arranged for you
all to be flown out to the ship.

Christmas is
going to have to wait.

Wow.

Hello, sailor.

I'm a Marine major.

You're a major hotty.

Oh. Those are some
cool costumes.

Uniform.
They're not costumes, Deeks.

We're going in as crew members,
and Callen's going in as

the replacement
for the NCIS Agent Afloat.

Mm-hmm. So what's my cover?

You, my friend,

are a civilian contractor
doing a computer upgrade.

A geek?

This is all I get?
This, like, clipboard?

There are over 5,000
people on board.

Going in as different
elements of the crew

will allow us to
cover more ground.

Mm-hmm. Just for the record,
this is a gross misuse

of my undercover talents.

Well, if you truly
feel that way, Mr. Deeks,

you can go in
as a Marine, as well.

All right.
Just let me get

my clippers.
What?

Clippers?

Ooh, you're gonna look so good

with a high and tight.

No, no. No, no, no, no, wait.

Just got to do a little, uh,

sense memory work for my
undercover character, you know.

Red leather, yellow leather.
Red leather, yellow leather.

Acting, ha!

Chopper's here
to take us to Coronado.

I know that look.

You're starting
to sound like my wife.

You know what they
say when your partner

starts sounding
like your wife?

Get a new wife?

I'm gonna pretend
you didn't say that.

See, that's the problem
right there.

You and I don't talk.

Communication goes, the
relationship is soon to follow.

Almost finished?

Just about.

Look, I know you want
to be home for Christmas.

I've missed Christmas,
graduations, birthdays

and everything else
doing what we do.

Then what is it?

Sidirov.

What if he comes back
while we're away?

Then Michelle will do
what she has to do.

Same is if
you were here.

Yeah. But I won't be.

Then we'll make this quick.

Besides, I guarantee you,

Sidirov isn't showing up
here anytime soon.

How can you be so sure?

Criminals take Christmas off
just like the rest of us.

Even the bad guys
don't like

being on the naughty list.

The Navy has a budget

of $155 billion, and this
is the plane that they use?

C2 Greyhound--
workhorse of the sea.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, well, this horse needs
to be sent to the glue factory.

It's probably the safest plane
you'll ever fly in.

Th-This is the
safe... Really?

Okay, explain to me, then,
why we're wearing helmets

and life preservers.

Correct me if I'm wrong,
but the only time

to wear a life preserver
is in the event

of a water landing.
So tell me, do they know something

that we don't know?

There is nothing
to be afraid of, Deeks.

What? I'm not.
I have hardened nerves of steel.

I just think it's
a little disconcerting

the back of the plane
opens like my garage door.

It's like
a flying tool shed.

Deeks?
Yeah?

I'm trying to sleep here.

Okay. Well,
I'll be sure to wake you up

when we crash into the ocean.

Hey, just try and relax,
Maverick.

Huh? Did you hear that?

I look a little Top Gun
in this thing, don't I?

Hey, I gathered a bunch
of disciplinary reports

from the last several months.

Trying to find anyone
who might have a grudge

against Special Agent Niles.

That sounds good.

You okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Nell?

Nellie?

Nellster...

It's just... I was
really looking forward

to the holiday party
and the Secret Santa stuff.

It's... it's stupid.

I don't think so.

I'm so... I just get
like this around the holidays.

'Cause I... I can't be home.

And it's like
these people we work with,

they become...

our surrogate family,
and they're not here right now.

They'll be back soon.

And you know what,
even if they're not,

I promise that we will have
a festive holiday celebration.

I mean, I've agreed
to wear an elf hat,

so...
And the ears?

I'm sorry, the what?

You have to wear the elf ears.

Um, I don't think I remember
you saying anything about any...

Oh, come on.

Hey, what's an elf
without ears, right?

Exactly.

Prepare for landing.

Piece of cake!
I don't know what

you guys were so worried about.

Welcome aboard the USS
Van Buren, ma'am, sirs.

I'm Petty Officer Smalls.

Can I point you in the right
direction, Commander?

No, I'm good, thanks.
Special Agent Callen,

would you like to be taken
to the NCIS office?

Actually, I'm headed
to the brig first,

but can find my way. Thanks.

You must be Mr. Colter,

the data entry systems analyst.

Well, you say "day-ta,"
I say data--

I say we split the difference
and call it a date.

I'm the ship's
civilian personnel liaison.

I'll be your escort.

Someone should be here
to meet you momentarily, ma'am.

Thank you.

Fantastic.

I don't know if you,
uh, overheard that,

but I have a, uh, escort.

Fraternization is forbidden
on board, Deeks.

Wow, jealous much?

Major Barret?

Please excuse
my tardiness, ma'am.

I'm Lieutenant
Abernathy.

Welcome aboard.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

If you'll follow me,
I'll show you

to your berthing.
You can get squared away

before you muster on station.
Yes.

So what, they found
the missing link.

Are you coming,
Mr. Colter?

Oh. Colter, no.
Please call me Marty.

And I should
call you...?

Petty Officer Smalls
will suffice, sir.

All right.

So, what were you and
Staff Sergeant Jefferies fighting about?

I don't know, sir.
It was stupid.

I mean, you know
what the Marines are like.

"Oorah" this and
"oorah" that.

Sometimes it just gets
a little tiresome

and you have to stand up to them

or else they walk around
like they own the place.

You two have a history?

Absolutely not, sir.

I couldn't
pick him out of a lineup.

He and his boys
were lipping off,

so I told them to shut it.

Next think you know,
he's tackling me.

Guess he figured he
had something to prove.

Did this fight have anything
to do with cocaine?

I can't speak
for Petty Officer Allen,

but I did not,
nor have I ever used cocaine.

Then how do you explain
your drug test?

It must be a
mistake, sir.

I'd gladly be retested.

Oh, so you test negative now
that it's out of your system?

It was never in
my system, sir.

I'm no angel,
Agent Callen,

but I'll take a lie detector
to prove I'm no drug user.

My father and my uncle
were Marines.

I would never disrespect
this uniform,

this ship or my family
by doing something so stupid.

What's your relationship with
the NCIS Special Agent Afloat

Jason Niles?

I never even knew

who he was until I heard
he was reported dead.

Yeah, I-I only
met him once.

He intervened in an argument
I was having a few days ago.

What was the argument about?

It was music.
Some E3 was in the library

listening to music
with his headphones,

but he had the tunes cranked so
loud, it was bugging everybody.

Where were you yesterday

prior to the...
altercation in the galley?

Fire safety drills.

I had the morning watch.

Which ends at 8:00?
Yes, sir.

The fight took place
just after 9:00,

so what were you doing
for the hour in-between?

Uh, usually I would
jog around the deck,

but flight operations
were in full swing,

so I just walked
below deck.

Uh-huh. Why didn't you use
the treadmills in the gym?

I always feel like
a hamster on those things, sir.

Anyone see you?

Uh, yeah, sure,
lots of people.

Anyone see you around the...
zero-two-tack-

one-eight-two-tack-
six-tango section of the ship?

I-I can't be sure, sir.

Where exactly is that?

Where the body
was found.

The bull's-eyes
tell you where you are

Deck, frame, relation
to centerline and compartment.

Numbers increase
as you go aft.

Even numbers are port,
odd numbers are starboard.

Starbucks?
S-Starboard.

No, I mean, is there
a Starbucks on board?

Or a Coffee Bean?

Panda Express?
T.G.I. Fridays?

Froyo?

Enlisted Mess is

on the second level.

The Dirty Shirt Room,
Wardroom One, is forward

on the O3 level.

Chief's Mess has
the best food,

but you have to be invited.

If you'll follow me
this way, Mr. Colter...

Mr. Colter? Hello?

What's up there, sailors?

Nothing to see here.

What the... what?

What the hell are you doing?
Me? No. I was just...

I was just looking
for the bathroom.

I got lost coming
around one of these corners.

I found myself in the basement
of the Titanic.

Seriously, I think
I just saw Kate Winslet.

She was naked.
You should check it... out.

Hey, I see how this is--

you guys, uh,
want to haze the swabbie.

Here's the problem--

I'm a private contractor,
which means you can't

dress me up like a sea hag,
or whatever it is

you and your seaman
buddy here do for fun.

What the hell
is going on in here?

He was creeping around where
we found that NCIS agent dead, sir.

Sir, you know what they
say about criminals,

always returning
to the scene of the crime.

Yeah, except for Matlock,

I'm pretty sure no one
actually says that.

I'll take him from here.

They're gone.

I just need...
Come on, Deeks,

pull your skirt down--
I hardly hit you.

I know, I was...
I was just in character.

It's fine. I'm fine.

You've been on the ship
less than an hour,

and you're already in trouble.
Yeah, I know,

but I found evidence.

Special Agent Niles

was killed on
a different part of the ship,

and then his body
was dragged here.

These are the sailors
who attacked Deeks.

Both men have had minor
incidents while on shore leave,

but both occurred
before Agent Niles

was assigned to their vessel.

Does either man have
a connection

with Special Agent Niles?

Nothing we've
found so far.

Neither one was noted
in any of Niles' files.

However, one of the men,
Petty Officer Lambert,

worked in Intelligence
with Petty Officer Allen.

All right. See if there's
any other dots to connect.

On it.

So Deeks thinks
Special Agent Niles

was killed
elsewhere on the ship

and then dumped
where his body was found.

The body showed signs
of massive blunt-force trauma

with a distinctive
wound pattern, but there is

nothing in the area
where we found him

that would account
for that sort of injury.

Well, it could've been done
by the weapon the killer used

or some other piece
of equipment he had on.

Except for the fact...
that I found this.

What is it?

That, my friend, is spinach,
or Swiss chard,

possibly kale--
but I think it's spinach

because I nibbled it
a little bit

and it tasted like spinach.

Let me see that.
It's called detective work, boys.

Yeah, I see where
you're going with this.

Popeye ate spinach,
Popeye was a sailor, so...

we're looking for a crew member
with giant forearms,

smoking a pipe.
Why, I oughta...

It could've
come off anyone's shoe.

Could' fallen
out of the trash.

That's true, except for--
wait for it--

this.

One and... two.

Okay.

Wardroom, messes.

This...

is where we found the body.

It's the other side of the ship.
Uh-huh, exactly.

So if you think about all
the passageways and the ladders,

it would be almost impossible
for this to get from one side

of the ship to the other...

without being scraped
off somebody's boot.

It would be improbable,
but not impossible.

What's impossible is to kill
somebody in the galley,

then drag the corpse
through the entire ship

without being seen.

Mm-hmm. How do you
account for that?

I don't have
to account for that--

I'm the one that
found the spinach.

What'd you guys find, huh?

More importantly,
what did Kensi find?

Oh. Kensi found something.
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Six-two and looks
like a male model.

That's right.
What?

That guy?
That guy's not her type.

He's a Marine.
Really?

Her father was a Marine.

Girls love their daddies.

Yep.

Oorah.

Okay. Good talk.

Do you know Staff
Sergeant Jefferies?

He's serving aboard.

I know of him, ma'am.
Why?

Oh, we're just from
the same hometown

and have mutual
family friends.

I was hoping
to say hello.

But, uh, I hear
he's in the brig.

I think he and one of
the crew got into a scuffle.

That doesn't sound like
the Jefferies I remember.

I'm sure it was nothing
serious, ma'am.

By the end
of a long deployment

everybody's ready to get off
this ship, and having our mission

suddenly extended seemed
to shorten everyone's fuse.

Master Chief!

Master Chief.

Let's talk
about this!

I need a security force
to the ready room.

Come on!

Down!
I need a security force

down here!

Don't touch that!
It's evidence!

Don't touch it!

The lab tested it.

No signs of Niles' hair,
blood, DNA, nothing.

They could've
wiped it clean.

Yeah, it also doesn't
match his head wound.

How's the master chief doing?

Still a little out of it.

What the hell happened?

The senior medical officer

believes that
his altered mental state

was caused by...
cocaine toxicity.

You're way out of line,
Mr. Callen.

It's "Special
Agent Callen""

I've known the
master chief for years.

I'll take his word
over yours any day.

How about the word of your
chief medical officer?

Drug tests don't lie.

No, but they can be wrong.

Then how do you explain
your master chief

attacking crew members
with a wrench?!

With all due
respect, sir,

your ship has a
serious drug problem.

Oh, so first you try and tell me
I got a killer on board,

and now a bunch of drug addicts.

I'm not trying
to tell you anything.

The evidence...
Agent Niles could have fallen down

and hit his head,
for all I know!

All you have are allegations,

and if you're
gonna keep making 'em,

you sure as hell better have
something to back 'em up.

Aircraft carrier is one of the
most dangerous places on the planet,

especially if you're
careless or stupid.

Now, you seem relatively
smart for a civilian,

so I'd suggest
you be careful.

Sorry I'm late;
I got hung up.

How'd you make out
with the XO?

Not as well as I'd hoped--
he basically threatened me.

You think
he's involved?

Nah, I doubt it.

Can't blame the XO
for his behavior.

Everyone on board
is a reflection on him.

His career's
on the line.

Somebody smuggled
the drugs on board

and is now dealing.

NCIS Agent Afloat Niles

obviously came close
to finding out

who that is,
and it got him killed.

It sounds like we got to lean
on those that tested positive.

Both of them
denied using.

Well, they usually do.

We need to search the ship.

You want to search this?

That's like searching Cleveland.
This place is huge.

I didn't say
it would be easy.

But the act alone might
force whoever's behind this

to get nervous and make a mistake.
Okay. I'll ask

to be assigned
to the security search force.

I'll keep digging
through the 4,000-plus crew.

If I let those
in custody think

we're getting close
to finding the source,

they may start talking
to cut a deal first.

- I'll keep working my lead.
- What's your lead?

Funny you should ask.

What's this?

That right there is
a little trace evidence

I found at the crime scene.
Spinach.

Or as I like to call it,
"forensic botany."

No, it's called spinach.
Whatever.

It's difficult to stay
in touch on the ship,

so it's gonna be extra hard
to cover each other's back.

Let's be extra careful.

We already lost
one NCIS agent.

I'm gonna need you

to level with me,
Lieutenant.

Is drug use a common
problem on this ship?

Not that
I'm aware of, Major.

The skipper runs a
tight ship, and dope's

a serious violation.
Well, how hard can it be

to sneak a little cocaine
onto a ship this size?

We only do random searches
around the clock,

especially on those people
returning from liberty.

Okay. How would you
explain what's happening?

Wish I had an
answer, Major,

especially for
the master chief.

He's probably one of the most
squared-away sailors

I've ever met.

What is it, Lieutenant?

Nothing, ma'am.

I told you to level with me--
that's an order.

I did, ma'am.

If you're hiding something from me...
I-I'm not,

ma'am, it's just...

Please, uh, don't take this
the wrong way, Major,

but you don't seem
like a very...

I mean, you do,

and you don't, and I am just
way out of line-- I'm sorry.

Relax.

Ow!

Watch your head, sir.

Yeah, that's, uh...

why they call it
"forewarning" there, Smalls.

These really necessary, sir?

You tell me.

First rule of
behavioral analysis

is that the best predictor

of future violence
is past violence.

You have no history
of violence.

Care to explain?

I've always taken
full responsibility

for my actions
and those who serve under me.

But I got to be honest
with you, sir.

I have no idea what happened.

Medical report says it was
a cocaine-induced psychosis.

That's-that's
just not possible, sir.

You sure about that,
Master Chief?

Because if it wasn't the drugs,
how do you explain

attacking several crew members
and two officers with a wrench?

I can't.

You trying
to silence your dealer

before we found him out?

No.

Let me see your arms.

Put your head back.

You can check between
my toes, my gums,

anywhere you like,

you're not gonna
find anything.

I have to set an example for the men
and women on this ship,

and I do.

I don't drink, I don't smoke,

and I don't do drugs.

Hell, I don't even eat red meat.

Do you have any enemies
on this ship?

I'd like to think not.

The average age
of the crew member on this ship

is 19 years old.

It's my job to help
train them to operate

the most powerful weapon
in the world.

That takes discipline
and responsibility.

And yes...

sometimes there is friction.

Enough that one or more of them

would want to see you
busted for drug use,

maybe even OD?

It's a little early
for Secret Santa, isn't it?

Open it.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

No.

No, no.

This was not part of our deal.

You never said anything about...

panty hose.

Okay, they're leggings,
not panty hose,

and it's part
of your costume.

What it is,

is a death sentence
if Callen, Sam or Deeks

ever saw me wearing them.

It's gonna be fun.
Wha...

No. I am all for helping
children, but...

I'm sorry, I cannot do this.

I can't do it.
I'm sorry.

You wear polar bear

and Spiderman pajamas.

Spiderman is cool,

and polar bear...

It's different, okay?

I-I wear those
in the privacy of my own home.

People are going
to see me in this.

There will be kids

and the taking of pictures,
and next thing I know

it'll be on Facebook,
and then... and then...

and then a video on YouTube,
then it goes viral,

then they stat playing it
on a loop on the big screen,

and, oh, my God, Sam is
calling me Elfie McBeal...

Okay, you know what?

You don't have to wear it.

Forget it.

Wai...

What now?

Two pilots were scrubbed

from flight
operations this morning...

due to "illness""

Cocaine?

Haven't heard yet,
but the scuttlebutt

around the ship
is that flight operations

might be suspended.

You get anything
from the chief?

Nothing but denial.

I got to say, I believe him.

This guy's service record's
cleaner than yours or mine.

Well...

definitely mine.

You think a disgruntled sailor
could be trying to set him up?

Possibly.

Doesn't explain the pilots.

Uncle Sam spends millions
to train these guys.

They bust their asses
to get a chance to do this.

They're the best of the best.

Everyone I've questioned
has been exemplary.

And none of them have asked
for a JAG lawyer.

They all seem more concerned

about their careers
than anything else.

Exactly like the XO.

Not what you would expect

from someone who knows
they're guilty.

Nope.

Do you think someone could
have unknowingly drugged them?

Could they be trying to sabotage
the ship and her mission?

The flight operations
are grounded--

they've already
succeeded.

There's something else.

I can't reach my wife.

...safety team
to the ordnance elevator.

On the double.

Well, ahoy, mateys.

Can we help you?

Yeah, I'm just looking
for the ship's stores.

Well, you're looking at them.

Thought you would've
learned your lesson

about snooping around.

Keep it up,

you're gonna end up
in sickbay, like your buddy.

What's that? Oh, yeah,
you guys didn't stick around

long enough to see me
kick his ass, did you?

Hold on, guys, I don't know
what's going on here,

but if we don't get this thing
up and going again,

you're all gonna be eating
salmonella salad.

Yeah, well, if the damn thing
wouldn't keep breaking down,

then we wouldn't have
to keep fixing it.

What seems to be the problem?

No problem--
we just had a faulty

refrigeration unit,
that's all.

They flew another one in.
Uh-huh.

I think I shared a seat with it.

All right, well, listen,
I'm gonna take a look around

if nobody has
a problem with that.

You two? Show of hands? Okay.

Looks like we got it:
Colonel Mustard, on the ship...

...with a pipe valve.

Wow, wouldn't want my head
smashed into that.

How long does it take Eric to
send a damn car to my house?

Maybe she wasn't home?

Then, where is she?

Sam...

if Sidirov was back in the
country, we would know.

The minute he contacts
Michelle, bells go off

with us and the CIA.

Guys.
You find her?

Not yet, but initial forensics
suggest we got a match.

Match for what?

The photo that Deeks sent.

It matches the head wound
that killed Agent Niles.

Deeks found
the murder weapon?

Looks that way.

Some sort of pipe valve.

Where?

I don't know.

He hasn't answered
my last few e-mails.

If Deeks found
the murder site,

he could have found the thing
that got Agent Niles killed.

Can you determine where on the
ship the photos were taken?

It'll be tough since
the paint schematics are uniform

throughout the ship,
but I'll cross-reference

with the plumbing schematics,
see what I find.

Alert Kensi, you call us,
you find anything else.

Got it.

If you wanted
to poison the crew,

you only have a few options:

air, water, food, or some sort
of surface contact.

If Deeks was following up
on his spinach clue,

he was probably snooping

around the food
stores on the ship.

Nobody knows the ship better
than the command master chief.

He could pinpoint
the location.

All right,
I'll show him the photo.

You find Kens.

Open it.

Sir.

You know where this is?

It's a main steam valve.

They're all over the ship.
In food stores?

Yes, sir.
Show me.

You got this?
Yes, ma'am.

Make way!

Coming through!

Hey, what the
hell's going on?

Deeks found
the murder weapon,

but now we can't reach him.

Would Commander Hanna
and Major Barret please report

to zero-two-tack-one-four-four-
tack-seven-Lima compartment?

This way.

Is this what
you're looking for?

It's consistent with the photos
of the victim's wounds.

Callen?

Did you find him?

No, but I think
we're in the right spot.

Deeks?

Hey... you boys see

the guy you were beating up on
yesterday?

The guy who kicked
your ass, sir?

He what?

Do you see
where he went?

He was snooping around
here a few minutes ago.

Hey, hold up a second.

Yo, with the trash!

Go, go! I got it.
I got it. I got it.

Federal agents!
Deeks...

Shooter's down, G.

Like that little
bank shot, huh?

Little eight ball,
corner pocket?

Yeah, I taught you that.

You didn't teach me that.

I definitely taught you that.

You say my memory's going.

I know it's needless to say,
but I'm gonna say it anyway.

Thank you.

Couldn't let him throw away
a perfectly good partner.

Did you get him?

Yep.

Is he talking?

Not so much; he's dead.

Master Chief,
could you secure the body?

Yes, sir.

You here and you with me.

Come on.

Okay, so we know where
they killed Agent Niles,

but still no drugs.

Well, it seems
like somebody's been sabotaging

the refrigeration unit
on these storage containers.

K-9s already
searched that area.

Maybe they were sabotaging the
refrigeration unit so the food

would spoil, you know?

The smell
would throw off the dogs.

It's not that easy.

Fresh paint.

What?

It's in the paint?

Wow, they're good.

You got to be
kidding me.

They're really good.

Damn.

Sam?

It's Michelle.

Everything all right?

She was at a friend's house
finishing up costumes

for the kids' play.

Totally forgot about
the Christmas pageant.

What'd I tell you?

You said she'd be all right.

I also said the memory
is the first to go.

I said it.

Leonard Wall is

a produce supplier
who recently won a Navy contract

by significantly underbidding
everyone else.

He could afford to lose money
on the produce

because he was using the Navy
to transport his drugs.

The ship's lab confirmed
that the paint

in the container
was, like,

a highly concentrated cocaine-
hydrochloride mixture.

Drug dogs
can't smell it.

Yeah, it was
a pretty good plan,

but what
he did not consider

was that the coke mixture
would leach into the produce.

All crew members
were potentially exposed.

Cocaine toxicity can be
potentially lethal,

can also cause

severe behavioral changes
like we saw in the master chief,

which proves

my theory that eating healthy
is not only boring,

it's downright dangerous.

Uh, Hetty has arranged
an NCIS Red Team

in Okinawa to meet the ship
and surreptitiously track

the container
when it's off-loaded in Japan,

so that we can intercept
the drugs

at their final destination.

So it looks
like we're going home.

Right, Eric?

Uh, absolutely.

I've already processed
your travel orders.

When?

I'd say, uh, about an hour ago.

When are we leaving?

Look, guys, uh,
in the spirit of the season,

please don't hate me.

I tried everything,
I called in every favor I could,

but the earliest
I can get you guys all home

to Los Angeles is...
December 27.

What?

What, no, n-n-no snow,
no hot tub?

Hetty can pull some strings.

She's already left
for the break.

I'm sorry,
she abandoned us at sea?

You know,
if it's any consolation,

she waited
until the case was wrapped

and knew you were all safe
before she left.

Why is it that,
every time you ask

if it's any consolation,
it's not.

Eric, don't sweat it.

We know you worked hard--
enjoy your holidays.

Thanks, guys.
You, too.

And, again, I'm really sorry.



Well, y'all mocked my forensic
botany, but in the end...

Your spinach played
a vital role.

Thank you,
thank you for that.

Was that so, uh,

so hard, huh?

Actually, don't beat
yourself up too much.

After all, I am the only person
here that's an actual detective.

That's because
we're special agents.

Yeah, well, where I grew up,
"special" meant

that you took the short bus and
wore a helmet in the sandbox.

That's almost as funny as you
telling those two sailors

you kicked my ass.

Really?

You said that?

I didn't;
my undercover character did.

Right.
Ah.

Gentlemen,

ma'am...

I want to thank you

for everything you've done

for the ship,
the crew and...

especially myself.

It's our pleasure,
Command Master Chief.

I'm sorry that this
has adversely affected

your holiday plans with your
family, but, uh, at least

you can have some eggnog
and Christmas dinner.

The cook staff pulls out all
the stops for the holidays.

That sounds fantastic.
Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Officer on deck.

As you were.

Hetty.

Merry Christmas.

What?

We thought you
were on vacation.

I was on my
way to Macao

for the holidays

and I decided to make

a pit stop here.

There is an F-18
Super Hornet up on deck

for a return flight
to Coronado.

The backseat is
empty, Mr. Hanna.

If you were to
leave right now,

you could make it home
by Christmas morning.

For real?

Have I ever lied to you?

Oh, whoa!
I love you, Hetty.

Oh.

Mwah!
Uh...

Now put me down...

Thank you, sir.

Get out of here already.

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, indeed.

Merry Christmas.
Bye, Sam!

Now, who's got

the eggnog?

Merry Christmas.

Whoa, you look...

Elfin?

Elfin amazing.

I don't know what to say.

Well, I believe the
traditional greeting

is "Merry Christmas"--

"Happy holidays" if you're
feeling politically correct.

What was... that?

Uh, I hope you have
a really nice holiday

and I will...
see you next year.

Hey, hey, wait, you know what?

I'm just gonna go get my tights.

They're called leggings.

Oh, and don't forget your ears.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==