NCIS (2003–…): Season 10, Episode 3 - Phoenix - full transcript

(engine running)

(man speaks indistinctly)

You know the drill.

Just need your John
Hancock, Dr. Mallard.

I like digging 'em up a lot
better than putting 'em down.

Funerals are too final.

With exhumations, there's
excitement, mystery.

Thanks.

Till next time.

Oh, uh, gonna need the case number.

Case number? Yeah.

I never got
the 27B-stroke-6

with the official NCIS case number.

I will have to have a
word with Mr. Palmer.

Can I have him, uh, fax it over?

Uh, yeah, sure, that's fine.

You're a repeat customer.

Though I sure hope you
haven't taken up grave robbery

as a hobby. (laughs)

(laughing)

(laughing)

(clears throat)

(sighs)

♪

ZIVA: McGee, why on earth
would anyone want that?

Want what?

Something new to buy?

I'm in, what do we got?

It is called a life recorder.

You wear it around your neck.

Takes photos of
whatever's in front of you

every few seconds and uploads
everything to the cloud.

Everything?

Am I missing something here?

Tony, your entire
lifetime would be recorded.

Even searchable.

That's horrifying.

But it would help me find my keys.

Yes, and it would allow you to look back

huh, like the last three
months? Actually, you know,

I think I'm with Ziva on this one.

There are some things I'd rather forget.

Really, like what?

Like the look on my
first girlfriend's face

when we broke up.

Haunted me for years.

That's very mature of you, Tony.

How much is this thing?

Can't buy it yet, it's being beta tested

and I have been chosen
as one of the testers.

I get my unit in the next few weeks.

What? You think Gibbs is gonna sign off

letting you wear this to work?

Come on, Gibbs?

The man has no sense of...

What?

Is he...

(mumbles)

Something on your mind, DiNozzo?

No.

(groans) Get moving.

Got a dead sergeant in Brookland.

Meet you there.

Where are you going?

No 27B-stroke...

We have to return him.

We have to return him right now.

It's a corpse, Mr. Palmer,
not a wedding present.

W-when Agent Gibbs finds out

that you exhumed a body without...

He found out. Agent Gibbs.

Um, as acting coroner, I
take full responsibility.

Go. Leaving.

(door opens)

What are you doing, Duck?

Who the hell is this guy?

Commander Bruce Roberts.

I presided over his
autopsy 12 years ago.

Some things never sat right with me,

and I want to take another look.

I get it, you're bored.

But you cannot go around digging
up bodies whenever you like.

Well, technically, as medical examiner,

I have that authority. Technically,

you're not the medical
examiner right now.

Palmer's in charge.

Well, technically, that's true.

You had a heart attack, Ducky.

Your own doctor told
you to take a break.

Why just a break? Why not
just make it permanent?

After all, the world

has managed to get along
just fine without me

these past several months.

All right.

All right, let me hear it.

Well, when I conducted
the commander's autopsy,

I concluded that his end was accidental.

I mean, the man literally drank
himself to death one night.

It seemed very straightforward.

But then I read this

two days ago.

Since when did you
start reading the obits?

Well, your day will come.

In any case, I saw that
the commander's father

had passed away of a rare

genetic liver disorder.

One that most certainly
would have been passed on

to the commander.

Had I known about his condition,

I would have done my
autopsy differently.

There is a class of
poisons that would mimic

fatal alcohol intoxication in
someone with Roberts' defect.

In other words, his death
may not have been an accident.

It might just have been a murder.

He looks pretty peaceful
for a murder victim, huh?

And for a guy about to fly to Malta.

Coach, 12 hours,

packed like sardines.

Ooh.

It's worth it.

Malta is lovely this time of year.

You know, most people don't
realize how historically rich

it is despite its small size.

In fact, Maltan temples

are widely regarded as the
oldest free-standing structure

Hey. in the...

Thank you, but we really
prefer you stop doing that.

Oh. Oh, okay.

That's all I really
knew about Malta anyway.

But you can tell us what
Ducky was doing exhuming a body

without telling Gibbs.

We heard.

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

(glove snapping) Ziva?

(snaps fingers) Get the blinds.

Okay, ha, ha, ha, yeah.

(knuckles cracking) This is
all very, very, very funny.

Uh... uh...

(nervous laugh)

(whispering): We know you know.

Look sharp.

TONY: Yeah, that black light's

not gonna show us anything.

Ducky's working on a
cold case, unofficially.

End of story.

What about this one?

Uh, boss, meet Sergeant Raymond Hill.

ZIVA: Cabdriver was waiting outside

to take him to the airport.

Finally, looked in the window.

Cabbie called the
po-po, po-po called us.

Give me time of death? (monitor beeps)

Last night around midnight.

(sighs) In fact,

I already have a
preliminary cause of death.

Carbon monoxide poisoning?

Um, r-right, yeah.

Uh, you can tell by the
cherry-pink skin discoloration

most commonly seen in the...

Carbon monoxide poisoning.

Okay, I will just be
right down here then.

TONY: Place has a gas furnace, boss.

Looks like these
hatches were fried shut.

McGEE: None of the carbon
monoxide detectors went off.

But they can't all be faulty.

TONY: Also found 50
grand in the case there.

McGEE: Way above the
sergeant's pay-grade.

ZIVA: It's clear he'd been freelancing.

Freelancing at what?

ZIVA: Sergeant Hill was
assigned to the Marine Corps

Security Force Regiment out of Yorktown.

McGEE: They provide security to
high-value Naval installations.

Nuclear vessels, reconnaissance
satellite facilities,

the alien bones from Roswell.

That was the Air Force.
Try and stay focused.

The sergeant authorized for travel?

No, so he was about to go U.A.

On a one-way ticket, was he in trouble?

Nope, never been arrested.

Above average physical reports.

I talked to his neighbors.

He was quiet, he kept to himself.

TONY: Bank statements.
ZIVA: Credit cards.

MCGEE: Library card.

We ran everything on him we could.

The most remarkable thing about him is

how unremarkable he was.

And whatever the motive
for his murder is...

You got nothing.

Sounds worse when you say it like that.

Not worse.

Wrong.

We got something.

Got a dead Marine.

Tell me you got something, Abbs.

I do.

Much better.

I don't know where to start.

Well, it's just that
ever since the kaboom,

you've sort of been walking around

looking like Mr. Sour Puss.

But I know that on the inside,

you're one of the kindest people I know.

So, I thought it would be nice if today,

your outside reflected your inside.

I know what you did for Ducky.

That was very, very sweet.

All I did was retroactively
approve the exhumation.

Well, it's a good thing you did

because Ducky's cold case is warming up.

I ran the tissue from the exhumed body

against the class of
poisons that Ducky suspected,

and he was right.

The commander was murdered

with a poison called
hepatic glycoside oleandrin.

Where do you get it? Nowhere.

It has to be synthesized
from the oleander plant,

which is everywhere.

And with Commander
Roberts' genetic condition,

the poison made his death look like

Fatal alcohol intoxication. Yup.

The next part you're
gonna love... or hate.

After I finished Ducky's cold case,

I started working on your hot one.

I took a look at Sergeant
Hill's laptop and found

a copy of Ducky's exhumation order.

What was Hill doing with it?

Not my department.

I just know that your new
dead guy was really interested

in the old dead guy that
Ducky was digging up.

In fact, Ducky's exhumation
order is one of the last things

that Hill looked at
before he was killed.

What are the odds, Gibbs?

DUCKY: What's a copy
of my exhumation order

doing on Hill's computer?
GIBBS: I don't know.

DUCKY: How'd he get
it? GIBBS: I don't know.

And what's the connection

between Sergeant Hill and my cold case?

Ducky, I don't know.

Well, unfortunately, neither do I,

which, I presume, is why you're here.

However, clearly the two
cases must be connected.

Which means we finally
have a lead on the hot case.

Aw, that's fantastic.

Gonna need a list of
the people you talked to

about the exhumation, Duck. Of course.

And we're going to need all the
files you have on the cold case.

Yes, I understand.

Since I am not officially
reinstated as medical examiner,

regulations bar me from working
on any active investigation.

As medical examiner.

That's what I just said.

In any medical capacity.

The horse is dead, Jethro.

I'd appreciate it if you
would stop beating it.

Rule 38.

Boss?

What?

Rule 38?

Your case, you're lead.

Let's go.

TONY: So Ducky's cold case didn't
kill himself, he was murdered.

According to Abby.

I'm sorry, I don't buy it.

She is rarely wrong, Tony.

Nah, it's... I don't doubt
that Abby found the poison.

It's just... have you seen
the Duckman moping around?

I mean, ten bucks says the old
coot planted the poison himself

so that he could drum up some business.

Coot?

I hope you're referring
to the aquatic bird

with vigorously strong hind legs.

And sex life, yes, I was.

Ah.

Can we help you, Ducky?

I hope so--
Ducky has point.

Excuse me?

The cold case is our best lead.

It was Ducky's case.

Ducky has point.

(chuckles)

Rule 38.

Yeah, but he's not
a... you can't do a...

Oh, got it.

Then, let's get going, shall we?

Uh, there is evil afoot
that must be cast asunder.

TONY: Okay.

Navy Commander Bruce Roberts

was found dead 12 years ago.

It was ruled an accidental death.

Now, it's been reclassified a murder,

courtesy of Abby Sciuto.

McGEE: At the time of his death,

he taught avionics at the
Naval Academy in Annapolis.

Uh, his record shows he
applied to aviation school,

various flight programs,

even NASA's Astronaut
Training Program several times.

But, uh, he was repeatedly denied.

Mm-mm.

Oh.

Duck.

Oh, uh, personal life?

Roberts came from old family money.

He-e-e-e
inherited a bundle.

Uh, always lived far below his means.

Wife deceased.

One grown daughter.

Well, it would be
prudent to talk with her.

She's already on her way, Ducky.

DUCKY: Oh, uh...

And comb the archives for any
old evidence from my cold case.

There must be something there.

Well?

I think I'm gonna like this.

Thank you. Hello.

I'm Special Agent Ziva
David, this is Dr. Mallard.

Thank you for coming.

I'm still not sure why I'm here.

We'd like to ask you a few
questions about your father.

My father, why?

He's been dead for over 12 years.

It is about the
circumstances of his death.

Well, that's easy.

He's dead because I killed him.

I beg your pardon?

I was...

I was supposed to stop
over the night he died.

But I had to work late.

And if I had been there,

he never would have drank that much.

Because he wasn't
really a drinker, he was

just having a bad day.

Ever since he was a kid, my
dad was a really big space buff,

and every few years he would
apply for this position at NASA.

And he'd just received
his latest rejection.

Yeah.

Ellen, your father's death

was not an accident.

Of course it was.

Of course it was!

He was... no, my-my dad would never...

No, no, no, you-you misunderstand.

You see, we believe

your father was murdered.

It's not your fault.

It never was your fault.

(sighs)

Wha...

Who-who killed him? Why?

That is what we're trying to find out.

Do you know this man?

No.

Who-who is he?

He's someone who's very
interested in our investigation

into your father's death.

We need to find out why.

D-d-don't
worry.

We'll get to the bottom of things.

I promise.

whatever happened to your
father will be avenged.

Thank you.

Will you excuse me, I have, um...

Here, oh, it's just outside.

Agent Dakota will show you.

Well, that was emotional.

I suppose

I'm not used to dealing with the living.

I noticed.

Ducky, you should not make a promise

you might not be able to keep.

I'm certainly gonna try.

I'm sure, but she

inherited $4 million
when her father died.

She might actually be the murderer.

JIMMY: You know, exhumations
are generally frowned upon

by most cultures that bury their dead.

Great. But in Vietnam,

after several years,
the graves are dug up

and bones reburied in a ceramic pot.

That's Taiwan, not Vietnam.

I warned you about Wikipedia.

Dr. Mallard, how awesome you're here.

Again. Duck?

Relax, Jethro, I'm not here as M.E.

Purely in my consultant capacity.

I wish to be briefed.

Well, I was just about
to tell Agent Gibbs

about some nasty ol' chemical burns

I found on Sergeant Hill,
our most recent victim.

They appear to be quite old.

I'd say over a decade, at least.

These X-rays are blurry.

Yeah, I know, I can't figure that out.

I took them three times.

How many times have I
told you, Mr. Palmer,

don't use the A.E....

Ducky.

Oh.

Uh, part of the burn appears to be

from by a round-bottom
chemical flask, which

makes sense, um, these
are chemical burns.

From what?

Well, that's not possible
to determine from...

I actually was able to work backward

from the contracture of the scarring

to establish a likely pH

and molarity level of
the chemicals involved.

Ah, mmm, clever.

What am I looking at?

The short-list.

These chemicals are all
precursors to hepatic

glycoside oleandrin.

The poison that killed Roberts. Mm-hmm.

Sergeant Hill likely got these scars

in a makeshift lab while
trying to create this poison.

Making him...

our prime suspect.

Oh, that's very clever.

Okay, you've been briefed.

What do you got? Well, presuming that

Sergeant Hill was indeed the killer,

that would explain why he was running.

I was exhuming his old victim.

He had to be concerned
that my inquiry would

lead back to him, as it has.

But...

(alarm blaring)

That's the radiation alarm.

That's the code for Abby's lab.

No, no, don't evacuate the building.

(alarm blaring, bell
ringing) It was a false alarm.

It was a false alarm!

(alarm stops) Hey.

You okay? (frustrated groan)

No.

Almost blew out my eardrum.

(loud music begins playing)

Much better.

I don't know if you noticed, Gibbs,

but my radiation alarm went off.

(music stops) Abbs,

the dead guys in Autopsy noticed.

Okay, you can relax.

Because my sensors did detect

a radiation source on the evidence,

but the amount was too
small to be dangerous.

I just think that my sensitivity knobs

have been turned up to 11
ever since the big kaboom.

Abbs, this the uniform Roberts
was wearing when he was buried?

The dead 12-year-old
mold give it away?

Yeah, so, I found an
odd dust in the fibers.

It appeared volcanic.

I was able to identify its origin before

my alarm woke the dead.

Gibbs, meet JSC-1,

a lunar-soil simulant.

What?

Well, basically, it's a cocktail

of lava and rock
that's mixed together to

mimic the soil on the Moon.

NASA researchers cooked it up

decades ago for

NASA research.

What was Roberts doing with it?

I have no clue.

I also don't know why it
irradiated and set off my alarm.

However, I did manage to find

the one guy in town who would know.

Bring me a souvenir, please.

BLACKWELL: JSC-1, huh?

Nope, haven't seen it in years.

You sure?

Well, that is what we were
hoping you could tell us.

Let me see, let me see, let me see.

(clears throat)

What have we got here?

Huh? Pyroxene,

plagioclase crystals...

You know the funny thing
about plagioclase crystals?

No.

Neither do the aluminosilicates.

(wheezy laugh)

Neither do the alu...

(scoffs) Never mind.

Yep, that's the real deal.

Which is what exactly?

JSC stands for Johnson Space Center,

where this fake Moon rock was created.

NASA needed a knockoff
because the real stuff was way

too expensive for their
lunar engineering studies.

And this material was, uh, radioactive?

Oh, not inherently.

A few researchers irradiated

some JSC to test its ability

to withstand solar radiation.

Show-offs, mostly.

Where do you think Commander Roberts

might have gotten it?

He could've come across

regular JSC in any
number of university labs.

It was unregulated.

Even the irradiated stuff?

No, no, no.

No, great care was taken
to dispose of any JSC

that was irradiated.

I mean, the only thing
it would be good for

is to make your lawn glow

as some kind of depraved party trick.

(laughs)

That and making a dirty bomb.

12 years ago, Commander
Roberts was murdered.

I presided over his autopsy.

I'm sorry, which one is Roberts?

Uh, the one with the deviated septum.

Ah. And which one is that?

Ah, okay,

got it: Roberts, murdered.

We now suspect that Roberts
was killed 12 years ago

by Sergeant Hill, then Private Hill,

Nice of you to join us, Agent DiNozzo.

Sorry, I was just
in... Now, where was I?

Moon dirt. Ah, right.

We also learned that when Roberts

was killed 12 years ago,

he was in possession of a radioactive

lunar-soil simulant
called JSC-1.

With enough, it could be used

to make a dirty bomb.

(whispers): Which one's Roberts?

The one with the deviated septum.

All of which begs the question...

What was Roberts planning
doing with the fake Moon dirt?

Why did Hill kill him 12 years ago?

And who killed Hill two days ago?

Okay, three questions.

So, where to start?

That's four questions.

Uh, Commander Roberts.

He's the key.

Um, uh, if I may...

Thank you very much.

ZIVA: Commander Roberts
was a decorated Navy officer

and a teacher, not a terrorist, so...

what could he want with a dirty bomb?

He wasn't selling it--
didn't need the money.

The guy was loaded.

DUCKY: Well, there's clearly more
to this man than meets the eye.

While Mr. Palmer attempts to reconstruct

his physical reality,

we need more data to construct

a viable schema of his
interior psychological state.

Which means?

Go talk to his old C.O.

Excellent idea.

Hey, Duck.

(gasps)

Nice catch.

(chuckles)

(multiple guns firing)

TONY: She looks pretty fiery.
Better let me handle this one.

MAN: Cease fire!

MAN: Shooters, safe
and vent your weapons!

TONY: Mmm. MAN: You may
now check your target!

Nice shootin', Tex.

I'm Special Agent DiNozzo.
This is... Yeah, I know.

The boys from NCIS.

If you think I'm gonna trample
on a man's grave, forget it.

I'm sorry, did I say "trample"?
Did you say "trample"?

I know what trample looks like, and
you got trample written all over you.

MAN: Shooters, make
ready! Now, step back.

Guns aren't toys.

MAN: Lock and load! Way to handle that.

MAN: Ready on the line!

MAN: Commence fire!

MAN: Cease fire! Cease fire!

Trying to impress me?

Think I just did.

MAN: Check your target!

What can I tell you?

Like I said on the
phone, Commander Roberts

was my finest officer.
But nobody's perfect.

What's your point?

What were some of those imperfections?

He didn't take rejection well.

Are you talking about his
flight school applications?

Flight school, astronaut training, yeah.

After the third rejection,

he started writing me these letters.

There weren't any in his file.

That's because I pulled them.

They didn't reflect
well-and-faithful

discharging of his duties.

Which means...?

He started making... veiled threats.

Saying the DoD would be
sorry they rejected him.

But he was just letting off some steam.

I didn't... think it was necessary.

I didn't see any point
to tarnishing his record.

Do you have a copy of those letters?

Of course I do.

You have been a very bad

carbon monoxide smoke
detector combo unit.

Well, define "bad." Be happy to,

though it might get a little technical.

And Ducky already beat you to it.

But I will find a
home for that inside...

Oops. ...myself.

Yeah.

Smoke detector. Well, I figured out

how Sergeant Hill's smoke
detector malfunctioned.

It connects with the
thermostat wirelessly,

and someone remotely infected
the entire system with a virus.

That caused the furnace's
exhaust fan to short out,

and it disabled the alarm.

Item number two:
Commander Roberts' old PC.

The hard drive is corrupted,

but I think I found our missing
link between our victims.

(keyboard clacking)

GIBBS: They were e-mailing
each other 12 years ago.

Yeah, it looks like they were
arranging some sort of buy.

I think Commander Roberts was the buyer

and Sergeant Hill was the seller.

Any idea what he was selling? No, but...

I think it's illegal because Roberts was

really paranoid about the police.

Dirty bombs are illegal. Yeah,

maybe Sergeant Hill was part
of some WMD smuggling ring.

I think something went
wrong with the sale,

because in the next e-mail

Roberts threatens to turn Hill in

to the Feds.

Three days later,

Roberts was murdered. Yeah.

What worries me is that

Sergeant Hill was just
killed two days ago,

so is this smuggling ring still active?

Abbs, can you take this new info

and find out if Hill
had any other buyers?

They might know something.

Of course.

WMD smuggling ring, here I come.

JIMMY: Agent Gibbs.

Agent Gibbs, I am sorry

to barge in like this, but...

I'm afraid that Dr.
Mallard is losing it.

The other day, he actually yelled at me.

And then once Commander
Roberts' body shows up,

he starts issuing orders
like he's Attila the Hun...

(object clatters)

Dr. Mallard! Hi.

(chuckles nervously)

Mr. Palmer.

See, that-that... that was just...

that, uh, I w... I was, um...

Wishing you weren't here?

Yeah. Um...

Gentlemen.

Mr. Palmer is managing quite admirably.

However, he is slightly overwhelmed

(door opens, closes)
with his new position.

Something I can relate to.

You're doing great, Duck.

You may have single-handedly uncovered

a WMD smuggling ring. Yes,

but I promised Commander
Roberts' daughter

that her father's death

would be avenged. Now I might

have to tell her that he's a terrorist.

I don't know how you do
it. Is that why you're here?

To find out how I do it?

"Avenged."

I mean, who even talks like that?

Someone who cares.

It's 99% of the game.

Yeah, well, it's a game
I fear I underestimated.

My cold case

is about to turn into a hot one.

Lives could be on the line. Well,

won't be the first time. But now

I have a front row seat, and
I'm not sure I'm up to the task.

A task that you handle with such aplomb,

even when the building where
you work explodes around you.

(chuckles) Funny.

I was dismayed that the
world could get on without me.

Now, it seems...

well, it just might be better off.

(phone ringing)

Yeah, it's Gibbs.

ABBY: Can you come in?
I found another buyer.

Yeah, Abbs. I'll be right there.

Abby found another buyer.

Stop it, Tony.

(laughs) It's not funny.

Who's laughing?

Talk to me.

(chuckling)

It's nothing, boss.

Mm.

(snorts)

I thought I was picked
to be a beta tester

in this thing... (laughs)

Just got an e-mail saying
that it was a mistake.

It was no mistake,

because you got to have a
life to get a life recorder.

What?

Second buyer.

DiNozzo. You. Talk to me.

I'm sorry, I had a lot of sugar.

Abby dug up an old
e-mail from Sergeant Hill

discussing another sale. McGEE:
The buyer didn't use his name.

He just signed it as "D.F""

We traced the e-mail to a cell phone,

which led to a P.O.
box. Which led you here.

And whoever he is, he's pretty
good at staying off the grid.

No credit cards, no
aliases on his DMV record,

(chuckling): no life, really.

What's he hiding?

I don't know, but his electricity
use is way above the norm.

He's doing something up there.

There's an entry around
back. (Tony and McGee gasp)

You enjoy doing that?

A little, yes.

Someone's definitely inside.

Ziva, McGee, take the back.

DiNozzo, come on.

(Tony sighs)

(rock music playing in distance)

McGee bet me ten bucks
it was... gunrunners.

(click) I don't think it's gunrunners.
I think it's counterfeiters.

Oh, lookie there.

(rock music blaring)

NCIS!

(rock music continues blaring)

TONY: Freeze!

Not this again! Bloody hell!

McGee!

Going someplace?

Not in the face, all right?

Anything but the face! ZIVA: No
one's going to touch your face.

(music stops)

NCIS.

You're cops? Cops are cool.

I love cops. I mean,
I'm very, very fond of

the police department. In
fact, I did a benefit concert

for the Springfield Police Department.

Made 'em a lot of money. (chuckles)

What's the charges?

A benefit concert?

Rock and roll!

Right?

Live Aid!

Don't you remember this?

Biggest concert of all time.

Remember that?

I think I need to call
my agent. (chuckles)

(British accent): Our rock and roll
god goes by the name of Del Finney.

(normal voice): But his real
name is Otto Smeleznin...

Smeleznizincochfunchin.

Funchtinscotchkin.

Whatever. He's a musician.

Guy was a one-hit wonder in the '80s,

but by the '90s he'd blown
through all his dough.

What about now? Now,

he is a maintenance man

for the building we found him in.

He doesn't look very... terroristic.

GIBBS: He's into
something. Whatever it is,

he's not talking.

Or singing.

Duck.

After you.

This should be entertaining.

Hello, Mr. Smeleznovichik.

Uh, Finney.

Del Finney.

Do you know this man?

I can't say that I do, no. Really?

I can see your carotid
artery pulsing in your neck.

The moment this photo appeared,

your heart rate shot up to, ooh...

I'd estimate 130.

You bought something from this guy.

What was it? I don't know
what you're talking about.

Why'd you run? I thought you were fans.

I mean, th-that's why I've
been keeping a low profile.

You know... It can't get much lower.

I was big once, okay?

I had the number three single

for six weeks in 1982.

You would not believe

the people on my doorstep
wanting my autograph, okay?

Or looking for payments
on overdue bills.

You owe a lot of people a lot of money.

Are you hiding from fans?

Or from creditors, Mr. Smeleznovichik?

My name is... Finney. Finney.

Yeah. Del Finney.

(laughs) My apologies.

It must be really hard for you.

I mean, so much talent,

the adulation,

and now it's... all over.

(laughs): I mean,

(chuckling): what happened?

(sighs)

I bought a zoo.

And I bought a lighthouse.

Few other things, you know.

Then the checks...

they stopped coming in,
you know, so I was...

You buy that other stuff from that guy?

I think I need a lawyer.

Yes, perhaps it is time to see a lawyer.

On the other hand, maybe it's time to...

♪ Stand up, Johnny ♪

♪ Be a man... ♪

(laughs)

♪ Don't run from the
truth, even if you can. ♪

(laughs) Thank you so much.

You know my song.

Yes.

The question is... do you?

Hey, you guys, you missed it.

It was classic, beautiful.

Ducky is an artist.

Did you learn what
Sergeant Hill was selling?

Yeah. Not quite what we were thinking.

That mean he wasn't running
a WMD smuggling ring?

No WMDs, no gunrunning.

He was selling Moon rocks.

Moon rocks?

What do you mean? Like... like

rocks from the Moon?

People buy those?

Apparently rock stars do.

And collectors. Are you kidding me?

Moon rocks are worth ten
times their weight in diamonds.

I told you he was gonna love this.

But it's illegal to own a Moon rock.

I mean, you can't buy
'em. When did he get his?

About 12 years ago.

He said it was stolen from a museum.

I think I know what he's talking about.

After Apollo 17, NASA distributed

Moon rocks to every
country in the world.

A few others to museums.

About 12 years ago,

there was a
high-profile break-in

at The Naval Museum of North Carolina.

Their Moon rock was stolen.

Sergeant Hill. Had to be him.

Then he sold the rock to Del Finney.

No, he couldn't have. Why?

Because NASA investigators

quietly recovered the rock
two years later from a janitor.

And I only know this because

I was at a Star Trek
convention in 2002, and I met...

Okay, McGee, I got it.

So if the real Moon rock
was returned to the museum...

What did Del Finney buy?

A knockoff.

(elevator bell dings)

Our one-hit-wonder
bought a knockoff.

His Moon rock is made out of JSC-1.

NASA's artificial lunar dirt.

Yeah, the chemical
structure is unmistakable.

Very clever.

Duck?

It's a con.

Duck?

Sergeant Hill was

running a con. He took advantage

of the high-profile Moon rock theft

to sell knockoffs.

Del Finney, Commander Roberts

and others all thought

they were buying stolen Moon rock. Wait.

Did we just solve the case?

No.

Oh. No, our con
man, Sergeant Hill--

we still don't know why he was killed.

Well, my vote is, disgruntled buyer.

If I had bought a Moon
rock for a hundred grand,

and then I found out it
was just some punk rock,

I would be totally ticked.

But Del Finney thought he
was getting the real McCoy.

And before he handed over the cash,

Hill gave him a sample to send to a lab.

He was told to say that he...

found the rock while hiking,

and thought it might be
a common lunar meteorite,

and he wanted to verify it.

What lab?

NASA.

Okay, there is no way

that anyone at NASA
mistook that knockoff

for a lunar meteorite.

Hmm.

Who was running the lab 12 years ago?

BLACKWELL: Next time, I'm
gonna play you blindfolded.

I'd like to see you win
every once in a while.

(laughs, sniffles, coughs)

Agent DiNozzo... and, uh...?

Special Agent Gibbs.

I've heard a lot about you.

(coughs)

(sighs)

TONY: Did you Keyser Soze us?

Can't believe I fell for that.

I'm gonna keep this Hubble pen.

You know this guy?

I already told your agents I didn't.

TONY: I remember.

The funny thing is, when we looked

into the NASA rock verification
lab that you used to run,

this guy Hill was doing
protective services

in the building.

Are you sure you two have never met?

You know what?

I'm not gonna say another
word until I talk to my lawyer.

(sniffles)

DUCKY: Quod erat demonstrandum.

Case closed.

(computer chirps)

La fin de l'affaire.

(laughter)

Très bien, Ducky.

Bravo, Ducky. You're a natural. Ah.

Well, I-I must admit that the...

the role does appear to suit me,

but I can't... I can't help thinking

that there's something I'm forgetting.

It has not forgotten you.

Remember the promise you made.

Thank you.

You are profoundly welcome.

Hey, Duck, fun's over.

Need to get you out
of the bullpen now. Go.

Now? I thought I might
assist with the paperwork.

No. McGee can take care of that.

Only place you're going is Autopsy.

Back to...? You're
cleared for duty, Duck.

Oh.

(laughing): Oh.

How wonder... ful.

(sighs)

Back to, uh...

Okay.

Oh, I suppose, uh,

I'll just be going back to Autopsy.

(Ziva chuckles quietly)

We are finally whole again.

(doors whoosh open)

(whooshing)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

I know that you're in a
time crunch, I do, yeah.

But you know what? I have reports

to write, as well, and I have

a misplaced liver I can't seem to find,

and to be quite honest,

I haven't gone to the
bathroom yet today.

I...

Hello? Hello?!

Hello. Oh! Dr. Mallard.

You scared the, uh...

You-you... you scared me.

I can see that.

Can I help you? No, but

uh, maybe I can help you.

I would love that, but I'm sorry.

Agent Gibbs said...

I'm cleared for duty.

Oh.

Oh.

(sighs)

(sighs)

Oh, thank God.

(laughs)

(laughing)

Who, may I ask, is that?

Who? Oh.

Uh, the Kane County
coroner sent him over.

He wants a second opinion on a, uh...

a subdural hematoma.

It apparently happened
after a bar fight.

They want all their ducks in a row

before they up the charges

from involuntary manslaughter
to second-degree murder.

How exciting. I know.

Isn't it?

Well then, have you checked to see

whether this fellow
was on anticoagulants?

If so, he could have
sustained a hematoma

even with a minor injury.

Good idea, Doctor.

(high-pitched whirring)

Hello.

You wait here a moment

while I change into
something more comfortable.

Hmm?