Mythomaniac (2019): Season 1, Episode 2 - Épisode 2 - full transcript
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
EPISODE 2
History, 4/20. German, 8/20.
Zero in English,
1/20 in math, 4/20 in physics.
I'm not sure you understand
how serious this is.
Carole ranks last
in every subject this quarter.
That's not all.
We're considering a disciplinary hearing.
- You didn't know?
- No.
The class skipping, the tardiness...
Your daughter came in drunk.
She'd been drinking during recess.
- Oh, no.
- She vomited on a student's hair.
Oh.
During my class.
At ten a.m.
Oh.
Let's not beat around the bush:
we're thinking of expelling Carole.
What is she going to do?
You can't give up on her.
- Us?
- Yes.
Giving up on her?
We are not responsible.
Fuck, the onus is on you
to raise her properly.
Calm down, Ghislaine.
Excuse me.
You should know my wife is sick.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She'll be starting treatment soon.
I'm truly sorry. We didn't know.
You should have told us.
Our kids don't know.
We wouldn't want to upset them.
Of course,
but kids are like sponges.
They take it all in.
What we're going through is...
very trying, so...
we might have...
neglected Carole.
Look...
this changes things quite a bit.
Right, we can understand.
We'll help Carole
get back on the right track,
but we need time.
Of course.
Would you rather Carole be expelled?
You didn't have to say
I was starting treatment.
I said that to save our daughter.
This is not how problems get solved.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I panicked.
Fuck, I felt like we were the students.
- It just came out.
- What if they talk to the kids?
- We'll see. When is your appointment?
- Now is not the time.
It never is. Why is everything
so vague? I need to know.
Did Sam tell Niklas?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
- Hi.
- So, they kicked her out?
It's none of your business, bud.
Niklas...
- Ja?
- Do you like pizza?
- Pizza?
- Pizza.
Ja, I love pizza.
- Yeah, yeah. Mm-hm?
- My dad...
he makes pizza.
Your dad is driving a car?
No! Oh.
- Hey, Carole.
- Hello, Mr. Lambert.
Hello.
What do you think you're doing?
It's fine, go home. I'll see you there.
Are you kidding me?
Let's go. Now. Come on.
"Come on!"
- What are you looking at, douchebag?
- "What are you looking at, douchebag?"
Best pizza in the world.
But you end up with a big butt afterwards.
Like Carole.
Shut up.
Carole.
Come here, please.
- Dad.
- Hey.
- How's my girl?
- I'm okay.
Hello.
You don't look so well.
I started exercising again, though.
Ah.
So...
one Ginger and Fred, one Vitelloni,
one Da Vinci and one Nonno. Here.
Great. Can I have some parmesan, please?
- Excuse me?
- A little parmesan.
You explain to him, I'm sick of it.
Thing is, Nonno's pizzas are creations.
No special requests.
But I'll...
Where's my favorite?
- Virginie? Um, she's at home.
- Hmm.
She had an eczema flare up.
Actually, I have to give her a call.
BREAST CANCER, IN NUMBERS
- Hello?
- Why didn't you pick up? I was worried.
See, if I had my own phone,
it would be way more convenient.
Any better?
No.
- Do you still want pizza?
- Yes.
I'll get the usual.
- Okay.
- See you in a bit, sweetie.
See you, bye.
No microwave,
or don't come back to Nonno's. You got it?
Mm.
Elvira.
Who's the guy with your son?
It's his German pen pal.
Ah.
Oh, give me a break. Come on.
But this is not right.
Nobody in our family sleeps with Germans.
No one.
And Carole?
How come she didn't come give me a kiss?
She's busy.
Oh! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!
All right, fine. No need to yell.
You act like you're an adult,
but you're still just a kid.
With your bullshit antics.
Can you imagine the humiliation
in front of your teachers?
And with what's going on with your mom...
What about Mom?
I don't know. I mean...
All those responsibilities.
Her job, the house...
You care about how Mom feels now?
When did that happen?
You feel like I don't care about your mom?
Well... yeah.
Sometimes,
it's like you don't give a shit about her.
BRIGITTE
I MISS YOUR DICK!
You need to change your attitude.
From now on, you're grounded.
You're staying home tonight.
♪ Check, yo, I loved you
More than words could ever say ♪
I wasn't going out anyway.
Good.
Okay, I get it.
There's no need to yell.
I never raised my voice.
I never raised my voice with you.
Getting upset will get you nowhere.
He should come sell pizzas with us.
Instead of messing around
with his pictures.
Does he really need to shout
to assert his authority?
- Eh?
- Eh.
Ciao.
Keep your money and your lecturing.
Don't talk to your daughter like that.
She's okay with it.
She can't live without Nonno's pizzas.
You should treat her more thoughtfully.
Move.
Sam?
Thank you.
Who's texting you all the time?
Must be a customer.
Can't they leave you alone on weekends?
Some lemonade to cool down, honey?
Yes, please.
Welcome.
Oh, my, the computer.
What did we say?
It's only for homework
and with supervision. Here.
Let me see.
Mom?
Hmm?
There are anchovies.
Spit it out.
Here.
- Mom?
- Yes.
How did your mom die?
Actually, I don't want it.
She got sick.
Eat the parts with no anchovies.
- Could you get sick, too?
- Me?
No.
No, no.
What's wrong?
Everything's fine.
Everyone's healthy. There are no wars.
No one's going to attack us.
Okay?
Have some pizza.
Mom?
What?
Did you know flies sneeze like this?
Carole?
Carole, I'd like it
if we could have a chat.
About this, maybe?
You found your jacket!
Where was it?
Jeff dug it out
while working on the Jacuzzi.
Really?
That's weird.
Stop lying!
I've been looking for it for ages.
Some witchcraft BS with your friend?
Not at all.
I'm tired of this.
Let the power of Recurex bewitch you.
Just spray once,
and any trace of grease in your oven
will magically disappear.
Recurex is the ideal potion
to make your baking trays,
grills and planchas cleaner than ever.
- Virginie doesn't like those anymore.
- She doesn't?
No.
Rinse with warm water
and you'll marvel at how
even the toughest stains won't resist...
That's great for the Jacuzzi.
It won't break.
- Great.
- Your phone.
No, it can wait.
I'll take two.
I'll go get the water.
Don't wait for me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
don't forget our devilish deal.
Until seven tonight,
buy one Recurex, a sweeping offer,
- and get a free coupon.
- Yeah, hello?
You know that I'm with the kids
on weekends,
I can't talk.
- You don't answer my texts, I'm worried.
- Right, I know,
but it's a little complicated.
I'll come by the pharmacy. I'll explain.
I have to hang up.
Okay.
Recurex, a range
of cleaning products for all your needs.
100 percent effective,
100 percent astonishing,
100 percent bewitching.
Look no further, it will win you over
from the first use.
To try it is to love it.
Our ultra-stripping
Recurex formula will do wonders
on your stove, your wall panels,
but also your grills and planchas.
Elvira, a few days ago,
I had an epiphany.
A wake-up call.
First, I'd like to say thank you.
Thanks for being the woman you are.
For being the mother you are.
I haven't told you often lately.
So, here you go.
I've always said
that it was for fools,
for the bourgeois, the scared...
but I was the fool.
Because today,
I want to marry you.
And I would like
a wedding that reflects who we are.
With the children,
your father, my brother,
everyone naked in the Jacuzzi,
and... Seriously, I'd like...
a very simple thing.
Something that's "us."
That's it.
Sorry for bothering you,
ladies and gentlemen.
Have a lovely evening.
Patrick out.
♪ Goodbye to my reflection ♪
♪ Last page turning ♪
♪ Book of dreams burning ♪
FOR SALE
Ah.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
What I wouldn't give to smoke a cig...
I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to say...
For your tests...
I really want to come with you.
Tell me when you know the date.
You're not gonna close the store
just for that?
I am.
I really screwed up last time.
I want to show you it matters to me.
I'm sure that the results will be good
and that I'm not sick.
I'm sure of it, too.
You seem strange.
I was wondering...
Will you still want to marry me
even if I'm fine?
Of course.
Of course, come on.
Oh.
Yes?
My love.
♪ Crazy and so obvious
That I can't make sense any more ♪
♪ Of this exciting game
So good, but so tiring ♪
♪ You love to manipulate me
And I love to do the same ♪
Hi.
I've been calling you
for four hours.
I was with Manon.
I'm screwed. My dad won't let me go out.
Girl, you can't leave me alone.
It's not me,
it's that fucking French teacher.
We're gonna get revenge on that bitch.
- She's going to regret it.
- I'll call you back.
Okay, ciao.
'Cause it's... It's in French.
Can't you do that
somewhere else? It's embarrassing.
Ah! Get the fuck out of my face!
She's crazy.
♪ You love to manipulate me ♪
♪ And I love to do the same ♪
- What's wrong?
- You okay?
What's up with her?
What's wrong?
It's nothing.
She's a woman.
She laughs, she cries,
that's the way it is.
- Open your mouth.
- Hmm?
Open your mouth!
No, but try...
Ah. Wow. Mm.
Tastes weird. Where did you find that one?
♪ When the night has come ♪
♪ And the land is dark ♪
♪ And the moon is the only light
We'll see ♪
♪ No, I won't be afraid ♪
♪ No, I won't be afraid ♪
♪ Just as long as you stand ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ So, darlin', darlin', stand by me ♪
♪ Oh, stand by me ♪
♪ Oh, stand now ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ If the sky that we look upon ♪
♪ Should tumble and fall ♪
♪ And the mountains should crumble
To the sea ♪
♪ I won't cry ♪
♪ I won't cry ♪
♪ No, I won't shed a tear ♪
♪ Just as long as you stand ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ And, darlin', darlin', stand by me ♪
♪ Oh, stand by me ♪
I don't know that number. Forget it.
What are you doing?
It's a weird time to call.
It might be important.
Probably someone selling Jacuzzis
when we already have one.
Yes?
Yes.
What?
I don't get it.
Carole?
Hold on.
We'll be right there.
Carole is at the station.
- What?
- The police called. We have to go get her.
Horrible. I'm worried sick.
What happened?
They were playing on a rooftop,
balancing on it.
One of them fell.
The guy is at the ER.
Oh, no.
What's wrong with them?
I don't know, but in my time, girls,
- they didn't drink as much.
- What a bunch of shitheads.
Come on.
POLICE
Fucking idiot.
We have to go get your scooter.
We didn't need that.
- Fuck.
- Careful.
The kids are out of control.
I'll tell them you're sick.
Are you insane?
They need a fucking reality check.
Out of the question.
We won't traumatize them for nothing.
Yes, we should.
They need to understand what real life is.
They need to help us.
Carole! Oh, fuck.
- Are you okay?
- I'm sorry.
- Are you okay, Carole?
- Sorry, sorry.
Are you okay, baby?
You okay?
It's okay. I'm fine.
This is crazy!
I'm sorry.
Things are so complicated right now.
I know. I'm sorry.
No...
- it's not just you.
- Shut up.
- What?
- Come on.
Is it serious?
We don't know.
They need to run tests.
It's probably a false alarm.
Like something
that looks like breast cancer, but is not.
Don't downplay it.
It's pointless to say it's nothing
when they might tell you next week
it's really serious.
But I can feel it's nothing.
- We'll talk about it after the tests.
- Okay, no need to twist the knife.
It's hard enough as it is, you know?
That's true.
You're right.
We'll go to the biopsy together.
And we'll see.
The what?
The biopsy.
They're going to take a sample
from your mom
and analyze it to know if it's serious.
How do you know?
I looked it up.
No need to get into the specifics.
Right?
It will be all right.
Don't worry.
I love you, Mom.
Oh, my baby...
What the fuck is this?
- Thank you.
- Wow.
- Niklas.
- I'd like to get expelled, too.
- Okay, you guys are creepy now.
- Everybody, go to bed.
Good night, everyone.
To bed.
I want my brother to know.
I want us to be the same.
To bed.
Okay, can we say "my sister"
when Niklas is here?
He doesn't speak the language,
but he gets simple words,
- like "brother" and "sister."
- Sam.
- This is serious.
- No. We don't know yet.
What? Tell me.
Your mom is sick.
Mom has breast cancer.
I just have a little lump,
- here, under the breast.
- It's a tumor.
- A tumor?
- Calm down.
There, there.
Sam.
You need to get yourself together.
Keep your emotions under control
or we won't make it.
- Excuse me? Say that again.
- I don't want...
I want no hysteria here.
I need everyone to keep a cool head
until the results come back.
Fuck you.
You can't talk to him like that.
What's going on?
My mother has cancer.
Sam, my baby.
Don't cry.
There's a 99 percent chance
the tests come back negative.
I hope so.
And, Sam...
I'd like you to make an effort
with your dad.
- What about him? Is he making an effort?
- He is. Really.
He loves you guys.
So much.
Even if he's clumsy, sometimes.
Why do they call it "cancer"?
Why not "will-cer-vive"?
I promise there's hope.
Sometimes, I...
I feel like...
I feel like I'm falling.
I'm falling and...
nobody's there to catch me.
This warning signal...
is meant to remind us
that we are a family.
That we need to be
understanding of one another.
If not, who else will be for us?
There's so little love in this world.
I want a peaceful home.
I'd rather you wait in the car.
No, that way, we can talk.
You're not alone.
Listen.
You must let me go alone.
Because I...
I don't want you
to see me like a sick person.
I don't want to be associated
with the hospital and all that.
What will make me live is...
the disease never coming between us.
That will make me feel
beautiful and alive. You understand?
You say that because of your mother.
Exactly.
Go.
I'll wait here.
Calling Mr. and Mrs. Bertrand
to the admissions office.
Can I help you?
- Excuse me?
- You're looking for something?
No, thank you.
SUBJECT: "MADAME BOVARY"
IN 1836, FLAUBERT...
♪ You're the type
That can never be replaced ♪
♪ You were there from the beginning ♪
- Hello.
- Hello.
♪ It's all the same to me... ♪
♪ I guess that makes y'all my enemy ♪
♪ 'Cause you went and took
A friend from me ♪
♪ You were my childhood
You were my adolescence ♪
♪ I loved you
Never had to use a false pretense... ♪
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm coming for the photo classes.
With Patrick.
Is he your dad?
Yes.
You look alike.
He's not here?
Uh, no, I'm covering for him.
Is something wrong?
No.
Is that your mother?
She's beautiful, huh?
And...
is he with her now?
I guess so.
Can I help you with something specific?
Oh, no.
- Should I let my dad know you came?
- No need.
I'll come back.
Bye.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
I'M IN THE WAITING ROOM.
I'M NEXT.
PATRICK
I LOVE YOU.
THE POISONER NOW DEAD
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi. How are you?
Good.
I'm writing my paper.
Any customers?
Not really.
The pharmacist came looking for you.
Ah.
Did she tell you why?
She said she had the hots for you
and that she wanted you to come by.
She did?
Come on, be real.
I don't know. She was really weird.
I don't know what she wanted.
She was looking for you.
Ha, ha. Very funny.
And...
And Mom?
Mom is fine.
I just dropped her off.
She was a bit stressed, but...
she'll be fine. Don't worry.
I love you, honey.
I love you, too, Dad.
I'm keeping you...
and Mom in my thoughts.
I'm going to ace this paper.
- Love you.
- Love you.
MOM IS FINE.
SHE'S DOING TESTS. DAD IS WITH HER.
SHOULD WE TELL NONNO? XOXO
- See you later.
- See you.
♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's a long time coming along ♪
♪ Long time coming along ♪
I don't have my glasses.
Can you read that for me?
♪ Long time coming... ♪
NONNO
IGNORE
What's up?
It's done.
We'll get the results
in three or four days.
How?
Through the mail. It won't be long.
They didn't say anything else?
No. They told me to wait.
- Elvira.
- What is he doing here?
It's not me. I didn't tell him.
- What are you doing here?
- If Samuel hadn't told me,
you wouldn't either, right?
It's nothing, just a routine check-up.
So, why are the kids so worried? Eh?
Because they're kids.
What is this mess?
I'm scared something will happen.
To you, too.
I'm sorry.
Why apologize? Are you crazy?
Maybe.
You know I love you, right?
No.
I don't know.
I don't know it enough, Dad.
Hmm.
PHARMACY
I added a pumice stone, Ms. Arnaud.
- This is not mine.
- It's a gift.
Oh, okay.
And this? Is it a...
gift, too?
Not at all. You have to pay for this.
Oh, thank you.
Goodbye, ma'am.
Hi.
Get out.
- What?
- You came to invite me to the wedding?
Hold on...
Keep your shitty life.
Your shitty dreams.
Your nasty kids.
I'm being vulgar, aren't I?
Well, so are you.
You're mediocre.
- Sir?
- I'm not done.
Sir?
This way, please.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hold on. Come on.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She was diagnosed.
It seems to be pretty bad.
Are you okay?
Of course I'm not okay.
What do you want me to do now?
It's awful.
I'll be jealous of her, of her disease.
I'll want her to die.
Please don't say that.
Leave.
- Come on, Brigitte...
- Leave!
Look.
My letter to the head office.
I'm suing him in labor court.
- Brunet?
- Mm-hm.
This morning, he said he dreamt
I was giving birth to a monster,
like Sigourney Weaver in Alien.
Those words exactly?
I have it recorded.
There you go.
Do you remember a life insurance contract
for a client who had
the same name as a city?
Laval?
A palindrome.
Wasn't it breast cancer?
It was. But "Laval" is a palindrome.
A word you can read both ways.
Laval.
I was joking.
Thank you.
Why do you ask?
- Brunet's asking.
- Ah?
Okay.
- Are you coming for lunch?
- No, I've got some more work to do.
Elvira, take your things,
you're coming with me to Gillers.
- But it's lunch time.
- Right.
Let's get off our asses.
- Isn't the expert supposed to go on site?
- Yes.
But if I know one thing,
it's that experts are not to be trusted.
A bunch of scam artists.
So?
They said the CEO was having lunch
at a Chinese restaurant
two blocks away from here.
Perfect.
Do you really want to bother him
during his break?
- Really?
- You didn't order wine.
If you have wine every day...
Thank you.
The expert is coming this afternoon.
I hope Christine won't break.
She'll be our weak link.
She's freaking out because we invoiced
the laptop she got for her son's birthday.
- And her new coffee machine.
- It's only fair, isn't it?
Given what Gépéma squeezes out of us.
I proposed an invoice, but...
Accounting wasn't interested.
- What was it?
- A hair dryer.
We're not a salon.
Thanks, anyway.
We can't get caught.
I have your backs.
We'll play the expert.
Easy peasy.
Lying, Elvira.
Not an amateur's game.
When you lie...
it has to be neat.
And beautiful.
And if you can't do that...
you have to tell the truth.
I, for one, don't lie.
Simply because my memory's bad.
FRENCH ASSIGNMENT
WATCH YOUR SPELLING 8/20
Otherwise, I would have been
a great scam artist.
WATCH YOUR SPELLING - 12/20
Well, I'm an insurer...
To get away with it,
you need to be creative...
very organized...
and coldhearted.
I am too much of a sentimentalist.
There's one thing
you need to keep in mind, Elvira.
Always beware of your neighbors.
EPISODE 2
History, 4/20. German, 8/20.
Zero in English,
1/20 in math, 4/20 in physics.
I'm not sure you understand
how serious this is.
Carole ranks last
in every subject this quarter.
That's not all.
We're considering a disciplinary hearing.
- You didn't know?
- No.
The class skipping, the tardiness...
Your daughter came in drunk.
She'd been drinking during recess.
- Oh, no.
- She vomited on a student's hair.
Oh.
During my class.
At ten a.m.
Oh.
Let's not beat around the bush:
we're thinking of expelling Carole.
What is she going to do?
You can't give up on her.
- Us?
- Yes.
Giving up on her?
We are not responsible.
Fuck, the onus is on you
to raise her properly.
Calm down, Ghislaine.
Excuse me.
You should know my wife is sick.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She'll be starting treatment soon.
I'm truly sorry. We didn't know.
You should have told us.
Our kids don't know.
We wouldn't want to upset them.
Of course,
but kids are like sponges.
They take it all in.
What we're going through is...
very trying, so...
we might have...
neglected Carole.
Look...
this changes things quite a bit.
Right, we can understand.
We'll help Carole
get back on the right track,
but we need time.
Of course.
Would you rather Carole be expelled?
You didn't have to say
I was starting treatment.
I said that to save our daughter.
This is not how problems get solved.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I panicked.
Fuck, I felt like we were the students.
- It just came out.
- What if they talk to the kids?
- We'll see. When is your appointment?
- Now is not the time.
It never is. Why is everything
so vague? I need to know.
Did Sam tell Niklas?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
- Hi.
- So, they kicked her out?
It's none of your business, bud.
Niklas...
- Ja?
- Do you like pizza?
- Pizza?
- Pizza.
Ja, I love pizza.
- Yeah, yeah. Mm-hm?
- My dad...
he makes pizza.
Your dad is driving a car?
No! Oh.
- Hey, Carole.
- Hello, Mr. Lambert.
Hello.
What do you think you're doing?
It's fine, go home. I'll see you there.
Are you kidding me?
Let's go. Now. Come on.
"Come on!"
- What are you looking at, douchebag?
- "What are you looking at, douchebag?"
Best pizza in the world.
But you end up with a big butt afterwards.
Like Carole.
Shut up.
Carole.
Come here, please.
- Dad.
- Hey.
- How's my girl?
- I'm okay.
Hello.
You don't look so well.
I started exercising again, though.
Ah.
So...
one Ginger and Fred, one Vitelloni,
one Da Vinci and one Nonno. Here.
Great. Can I have some parmesan, please?
- Excuse me?
- A little parmesan.
You explain to him, I'm sick of it.
Thing is, Nonno's pizzas are creations.
No special requests.
But I'll...
Where's my favorite?
- Virginie? Um, she's at home.
- Hmm.
She had an eczema flare up.
Actually, I have to give her a call.
BREAST CANCER, IN NUMBERS
- Hello?
- Why didn't you pick up? I was worried.
See, if I had my own phone,
it would be way more convenient.
Any better?
No.
- Do you still want pizza?
- Yes.
I'll get the usual.
- Okay.
- See you in a bit, sweetie.
See you, bye.
No microwave,
or don't come back to Nonno's. You got it?
Mm.
Elvira.
Who's the guy with your son?
It's his German pen pal.
Ah.
Oh, give me a break. Come on.
But this is not right.
Nobody in our family sleeps with Germans.
No one.
And Carole?
How come she didn't come give me a kiss?
She's busy.
Oh! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!
All right, fine. No need to yell.
You act like you're an adult,
but you're still just a kid.
With your bullshit antics.
Can you imagine the humiliation
in front of your teachers?
And with what's going on with your mom...
What about Mom?
I don't know. I mean...
All those responsibilities.
Her job, the house...
You care about how Mom feels now?
When did that happen?
You feel like I don't care about your mom?
Well... yeah.
Sometimes,
it's like you don't give a shit about her.
BRIGITTE
I MISS YOUR DICK!
You need to change your attitude.
From now on, you're grounded.
You're staying home tonight.
♪ Check, yo, I loved you
More than words could ever say ♪
I wasn't going out anyway.
Good.
Okay, I get it.
There's no need to yell.
I never raised my voice.
I never raised my voice with you.
Getting upset will get you nowhere.
He should come sell pizzas with us.
Instead of messing around
with his pictures.
Does he really need to shout
to assert his authority?
- Eh?
- Eh.
Ciao.
Keep your money and your lecturing.
Don't talk to your daughter like that.
She's okay with it.
She can't live without Nonno's pizzas.
You should treat her more thoughtfully.
Move.
Sam?
Thank you.
Who's texting you all the time?
Must be a customer.
Can't they leave you alone on weekends?
Some lemonade to cool down, honey?
Yes, please.
Welcome.
Oh, my, the computer.
What did we say?
It's only for homework
and with supervision. Here.
Let me see.
Mom?
Hmm?
There are anchovies.
Spit it out.
Here.
- Mom?
- Yes.
How did your mom die?
Actually, I don't want it.
She got sick.
Eat the parts with no anchovies.
- Could you get sick, too?
- Me?
No.
No, no.
What's wrong?
Everything's fine.
Everyone's healthy. There are no wars.
No one's going to attack us.
Okay?
Have some pizza.
Mom?
What?
Did you know flies sneeze like this?
Carole?
Carole, I'd like it
if we could have a chat.
About this, maybe?
You found your jacket!
Where was it?
Jeff dug it out
while working on the Jacuzzi.
Really?
That's weird.
Stop lying!
I've been looking for it for ages.
Some witchcraft BS with your friend?
Not at all.
I'm tired of this.
Let the power of Recurex bewitch you.
Just spray once,
and any trace of grease in your oven
will magically disappear.
Recurex is the ideal potion
to make your baking trays,
grills and planchas cleaner than ever.
- Virginie doesn't like those anymore.
- She doesn't?
No.
Rinse with warm water
and you'll marvel at how
even the toughest stains won't resist...
That's great for the Jacuzzi.
It won't break.
- Great.
- Your phone.
No, it can wait.
I'll take two.
I'll go get the water.
Don't wait for me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
don't forget our devilish deal.
Until seven tonight,
buy one Recurex, a sweeping offer,
- and get a free coupon.
- Yeah, hello?
You know that I'm with the kids
on weekends,
I can't talk.
- You don't answer my texts, I'm worried.
- Right, I know,
but it's a little complicated.
I'll come by the pharmacy. I'll explain.
I have to hang up.
Okay.
Recurex, a range
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To try it is to love it.
Our ultra-stripping
Recurex formula will do wonders
on your stove, your wall panels,
but also your grills and planchas.
Elvira, a few days ago,
I had an epiphany.
A wake-up call.
First, I'd like to say thank you.
Thanks for being the woman you are.
For being the mother you are.
I haven't told you often lately.
So, here you go.
I've always said
that it was for fools,
for the bourgeois, the scared...
but I was the fool.
Because today,
I want to marry you.
And I would like
a wedding that reflects who we are.
With the children,
your father, my brother,
everyone naked in the Jacuzzi,
and... Seriously, I'd like...
a very simple thing.
Something that's "us."
That's it.
Sorry for bothering you,
ladies and gentlemen.
Have a lovely evening.
Patrick out.
♪ Goodbye to my reflection ♪
♪ Last page turning ♪
♪ Book of dreams burning ♪
FOR SALE
Ah.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
What I wouldn't give to smoke a cig...
I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to say...
For your tests...
I really want to come with you.
Tell me when you know the date.
You're not gonna close the store
just for that?
I am.
I really screwed up last time.
I want to show you it matters to me.
I'm sure that the results will be good
and that I'm not sick.
I'm sure of it, too.
You seem strange.
I was wondering...
Will you still want to marry me
even if I'm fine?
Of course.
Of course, come on.
Oh.
Yes?
My love.
♪ Crazy and so obvious
That I can't make sense any more ♪
♪ Of this exciting game
So good, but so tiring ♪
♪ You love to manipulate me
And I love to do the same ♪
Hi.
I've been calling you
for four hours.
I was with Manon.
I'm screwed. My dad won't let me go out.
Girl, you can't leave me alone.
It's not me,
it's that fucking French teacher.
We're gonna get revenge on that bitch.
- She's going to regret it.
- I'll call you back.
Okay, ciao.
'Cause it's... It's in French.
Can't you do that
somewhere else? It's embarrassing.
Ah! Get the fuck out of my face!
She's crazy.
♪ You love to manipulate me ♪
♪ And I love to do the same ♪
- What's wrong?
- You okay?
What's up with her?
What's wrong?
It's nothing.
She's a woman.
She laughs, she cries,
that's the way it is.
- Open your mouth.
- Hmm?
Open your mouth!
No, but try...
Ah. Wow. Mm.
Tastes weird. Where did you find that one?
♪ When the night has come ♪
♪ And the land is dark ♪
♪ And the moon is the only light
We'll see ♪
♪ No, I won't be afraid ♪
♪ No, I won't be afraid ♪
♪ Just as long as you stand ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ So, darlin', darlin', stand by me ♪
♪ Oh, stand by me ♪
♪ Oh, stand now ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ If the sky that we look upon ♪
♪ Should tumble and fall ♪
♪ And the mountains should crumble
To the sea ♪
♪ I won't cry ♪
♪ I won't cry ♪
♪ No, I won't shed a tear ♪
♪ Just as long as you stand ♪
♪ Stand by me ♪
♪ And, darlin', darlin', stand by me ♪
♪ Oh, stand by me ♪
I don't know that number. Forget it.
What are you doing?
It's a weird time to call.
It might be important.
Probably someone selling Jacuzzis
when we already have one.
Yes?
Yes.
What?
I don't get it.
Carole?
Hold on.
We'll be right there.
Carole is at the station.
- What?
- The police called. We have to go get her.
Horrible. I'm worried sick.
What happened?
They were playing on a rooftop,
balancing on it.
One of them fell.
The guy is at the ER.
Oh, no.
What's wrong with them?
I don't know, but in my time, girls,
- they didn't drink as much.
- What a bunch of shitheads.
Come on.
POLICE
Fucking idiot.
We have to go get your scooter.
We didn't need that.
- Fuck.
- Careful.
The kids are out of control.
I'll tell them you're sick.
Are you insane?
They need a fucking reality check.
Out of the question.
We won't traumatize them for nothing.
Yes, we should.
They need to understand what real life is.
They need to help us.
Carole! Oh, fuck.
- Are you okay?
- I'm sorry.
- Are you okay, Carole?
- Sorry, sorry.
Are you okay, baby?
You okay?
It's okay. I'm fine.
This is crazy!
I'm sorry.
Things are so complicated right now.
I know. I'm sorry.
No...
- it's not just you.
- Shut up.
- What?
- Come on.
Is it serious?
We don't know.
They need to run tests.
It's probably a false alarm.
Like something
that looks like breast cancer, but is not.
Don't downplay it.
It's pointless to say it's nothing
when they might tell you next week
it's really serious.
But I can feel it's nothing.
- We'll talk about it after the tests.
- Okay, no need to twist the knife.
It's hard enough as it is, you know?
That's true.
You're right.
We'll go to the biopsy together.
And we'll see.
The what?
The biopsy.
They're going to take a sample
from your mom
and analyze it to know if it's serious.
How do you know?
I looked it up.
No need to get into the specifics.
Right?
It will be all right.
Don't worry.
I love you, Mom.
Oh, my baby...
What the fuck is this?
- Thank you.
- Wow.
- Niklas.
- I'd like to get expelled, too.
- Okay, you guys are creepy now.
- Everybody, go to bed.
Good night, everyone.
To bed.
I want my brother to know.
I want us to be the same.
To bed.
Okay, can we say "my sister"
when Niklas is here?
He doesn't speak the language,
but he gets simple words,
- like "brother" and "sister."
- Sam.
- This is serious.
- No. We don't know yet.
What? Tell me.
Your mom is sick.
Mom has breast cancer.
I just have a little lump,
- here, under the breast.
- It's a tumor.
- A tumor?
- Calm down.
There, there.
Sam.
You need to get yourself together.
Keep your emotions under control
or we won't make it.
- Excuse me? Say that again.
- I don't want...
I want no hysteria here.
I need everyone to keep a cool head
until the results come back.
Fuck you.
You can't talk to him like that.
What's going on?
My mother has cancer.
Sam, my baby.
Don't cry.
There's a 99 percent chance
the tests come back negative.
I hope so.
And, Sam...
I'd like you to make an effort
with your dad.
- What about him? Is he making an effort?
- He is. Really.
He loves you guys.
So much.
Even if he's clumsy, sometimes.
Why do they call it "cancer"?
Why not "will-cer-vive"?
I promise there's hope.
Sometimes, I...
I feel like...
I feel like I'm falling.
I'm falling and...
nobody's there to catch me.
This warning signal...
is meant to remind us
that we are a family.
That we need to be
understanding of one another.
If not, who else will be for us?
There's so little love in this world.
I want a peaceful home.
I'd rather you wait in the car.
No, that way, we can talk.
You're not alone.
Listen.
You must let me go alone.
Because I...
I don't want you
to see me like a sick person.
I don't want to be associated
with the hospital and all that.
What will make me live is...
the disease never coming between us.
That will make me feel
beautiful and alive. You understand?
You say that because of your mother.
Exactly.
Go.
I'll wait here.
Calling Mr. and Mrs. Bertrand
to the admissions office.
Can I help you?
- Excuse me?
- You're looking for something?
No, thank you.
SUBJECT: "MADAME BOVARY"
IN 1836, FLAUBERT...
♪ You're the type
That can never be replaced ♪
♪ You were there from the beginning ♪
- Hello.
- Hello.
♪ It's all the same to me... ♪
♪ I guess that makes y'all my enemy ♪
♪ 'Cause you went and took
A friend from me ♪
♪ You were my childhood
You were my adolescence ♪
♪ I loved you
Never had to use a false pretense... ♪
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm coming for the photo classes.
With Patrick.
Is he your dad?
Yes.
You look alike.
He's not here?
Uh, no, I'm covering for him.
Is something wrong?
No.
Is that your mother?
She's beautiful, huh?
And...
is he with her now?
I guess so.
Can I help you with something specific?
Oh, no.
- Should I let my dad know you came?
- No need.
I'll come back.
Bye.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
I'M IN THE WAITING ROOM.
I'M NEXT.
PATRICK
I LOVE YOU.
THE POISONER NOW DEAD
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi. How are you?
Good.
I'm writing my paper.
Any customers?
Not really.
The pharmacist came looking for you.
Ah.
Did she tell you why?
She said she had the hots for you
and that she wanted you to come by.
She did?
Come on, be real.
I don't know. She was really weird.
I don't know what she wanted.
She was looking for you.
Ha, ha. Very funny.
And...
And Mom?
Mom is fine.
I just dropped her off.
She was a bit stressed, but...
she'll be fine. Don't worry.
I love you, honey.
I love you, too, Dad.
I'm keeping you...
and Mom in my thoughts.
I'm going to ace this paper.
- Love you.
- Love you.
MOM IS FINE.
SHE'S DOING TESTS. DAD IS WITH HER.
SHOULD WE TELL NONNO? XOXO
- See you later.
- See you.
♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's a long time coming along ♪
♪ Long time coming along ♪
I don't have my glasses.
Can you read that for me?
♪ Long time coming... ♪
NONNO
IGNORE
What's up?
It's done.
We'll get the results
in three or four days.
How?
Through the mail. It won't be long.
They didn't say anything else?
No. They told me to wait.
- Elvira.
- What is he doing here?
It's not me. I didn't tell him.
- What are you doing here?
- If Samuel hadn't told me,
you wouldn't either, right?
It's nothing, just a routine check-up.
So, why are the kids so worried? Eh?
Because they're kids.
What is this mess?
I'm scared something will happen.
To you, too.
I'm sorry.
Why apologize? Are you crazy?
Maybe.
You know I love you, right?
No.
I don't know.
I don't know it enough, Dad.
Hmm.
PHARMACY
I added a pumice stone, Ms. Arnaud.
- This is not mine.
- It's a gift.
Oh, okay.
And this? Is it a...
gift, too?
Not at all. You have to pay for this.
Oh, thank you.
Goodbye, ma'am.
Hi.
Get out.
- What?
- You came to invite me to the wedding?
Hold on...
Keep your shitty life.
Your shitty dreams.
Your nasty kids.
I'm being vulgar, aren't I?
Well, so are you.
You're mediocre.
- Sir?
- I'm not done.
Sir?
This way, please.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hold on. Come on.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She was diagnosed.
It seems to be pretty bad.
Are you okay?
Of course I'm not okay.
What do you want me to do now?
It's awful.
I'll be jealous of her, of her disease.
I'll want her to die.
Please don't say that.
Leave.
- Come on, Brigitte...
- Leave!
Look.
My letter to the head office.
I'm suing him in labor court.
- Brunet?
- Mm-hm.
This morning, he said he dreamt
I was giving birth to a monster,
like Sigourney Weaver in Alien.
Those words exactly?
I have it recorded.
There you go.
Do you remember a life insurance contract
for a client who had
the same name as a city?
Laval?
A palindrome.
Wasn't it breast cancer?
It was. But "Laval" is a palindrome.
A word you can read both ways.
Laval.
I was joking.
Thank you.
Why do you ask?
- Brunet's asking.
- Ah?
Okay.
- Are you coming for lunch?
- No, I've got some more work to do.
Elvira, take your things,
you're coming with me to Gillers.
- But it's lunch time.
- Right.
Let's get off our asses.
- Isn't the expert supposed to go on site?
- Yes.
But if I know one thing,
it's that experts are not to be trusted.
A bunch of scam artists.
So?
They said the CEO was having lunch
at a Chinese restaurant
two blocks away from here.
Perfect.
Do you really want to bother him
during his break?
- Really?
- You didn't order wine.
If you have wine every day...
Thank you.
The expert is coming this afternoon.
I hope Christine won't break.
She'll be our weak link.
She's freaking out because we invoiced
the laptop she got for her son's birthday.
- And her new coffee machine.
- It's only fair, isn't it?
Given what Gépéma squeezes out of us.
I proposed an invoice, but...
Accounting wasn't interested.
- What was it?
- A hair dryer.
We're not a salon.
Thanks, anyway.
We can't get caught.
I have your backs.
We'll play the expert.
Easy peasy.
Lying, Elvira.
Not an amateur's game.
When you lie...
it has to be neat.
And beautiful.
And if you can't do that...
you have to tell the truth.
I, for one, don't lie.
Simply because my memory's bad.
FRENCH ASSIGNMENT
WATCH YOUR SPELLING 8/20
Otherwise, I would have been
a great scam artist.
WATCH YOUR SPELLING - 12/20
Well, I'm an insurer...
To get away with it,
you need to be creative...
very organized...
and coldhearted.
I am too much of a sentimentalist.
There's one thing
you need to keep in mind, Elvira.
Always beware of your neighbors.