Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Episode #3.9 - full transcript
It's tight.
Guess this is what my acting coach meant
when she said,
"You need to reveal yourself more."
That's a good one, Mr. Manganiello.
It's Joe.
Joe, right. Sorry.
So we...
We're just gonna capture
a little test footage for the studio.
We'll get started in just a minute here.
But again, very excited
to be working with you on the film, sir.
Masked Man. It's a dream role.
Well, that means a lot coming from
the mouth of Alcide Herveaux himself.
Who?
It's his character from True Blood.
I... It's good to let him know
that I'm a fan of his work.
You know, makes him feel comfortable.
Who cares how he feels? He's a worker.
No, Jo. The culture
of Hollywood is very different.
These celebrities, they get coddled.
And we need him,
so we're gonna coddle away.
Okay, so we're just flying in
a head rig for you here.
Just to capture
that beautiful Manganiello mug.
No. Won't be necessary.
- And it's Joe.
- Joe, right.
Because...
I'm going to be wearing this.
Helps me get into character.
Had it custom made.
Guess this is what my facialist meant
when she said,
"A good mask is gonna cost you."
Indeed.
But this is just for the moments
of the film where you take the mask off.
Yeah, I'm not gonna be
taking it off for the entire movie.
Makes sense.
Sorry, why's that?
Wouldn't be in keeping
with the canon of the story.
Think about it.
Masked Man taking off his mask.
It's like giving your D&D party
the dragon's full hit point total
and list of lair actions
- right out of the gate.
- You got that right.
- What is he talking about?
- I have no idea.
You look upset.
I am very upset, Jo.
You do not look upset. You better smile.
Okay. So, this guy's gonna
hide his face the whole movie?
The studio's gonna freak out.
I'm gonna freak out.
- The fans are gonna freak out.
- David.
You're management. Be forceful
and tell the worker to comply.
Smile!
That's not the culture, okay?
I don't know what the culture is.
That culture you're describing
is the last days of the USSR.
It's fine. It's fine.
You know, we'll get through this, right?
- Do not panic.
- David! Gonna need a water.
Water flying in.
Get him a fucking water!
Deceptively simple,
but with endless possibilities.
Playpen asks the question,
"Why play someone else's game
- when you can build your own?"
- When you can build your own.
- Nailed it.
- Wow.
- Are you really gonna clap every time?
- Yeah, you don't have to clap every time.
You know, I want your honest feedback.
- We're sorry. Sorry.
- Sorry.
It's a great pitch.
I think it's gonna go even better
without Ian in the room
gumming up the works with his,
you know, his...
Effortless confidence
and natural charisma?
I have those things too. I'm confident.
You should tell that to your hives.
Shit! Okay.
- Well, I'll... I can wear a turtleneck or...
- You can hide the hives,
but you cannot hide
that lack of confidence.
I am confident. About programming.
This is just... It's a new gear for me.
Everything is riding on this.
- I can't screw it up, and if I...
- Oh, my God, they're spreading.
Okay, Poppy. Poppy.
Poppy! Relax.
Listen, the pitch doesn't matter.
Oh, my God. You sound just like Ian.
Of course it matters!
I have to convince this guy
to buy my game for $50 million!
He's not buying your game.
He's buying you.
You have to convince him
to invest in Poppy.
And he's not gonna do that unless
you march in there with confidence
like the money's already yours
and the pitch doesn't matter.
- That is being confident.
- That is being untethered from reality.
What's the difference?
Wow, it's actually spooky.
Now, all my new hires are my babies.
And I love my new babies.
I can't wait to get to know
each and every one of you.
But first, I wanna introduce you
to some of my greatest success stories.
This is Rachel.
A gay woman of color.
A college dropout.
Halfway to a wasted life.
Maybe a few days away
from picking up a needle.
- No. No, no. I don't do that.
- And then Carol steps in, extends a hand,
and this gay orphan rises in the ranks
to become Head of Monetization.
And then there's Brad.
A Polish-Indian ex-con
who started as a janitor
and then went on to
work in monetization.
He'd be dead in a ditch
if it wasn't for Carol.
Actually, I started in monetization,
and then I went to jail.
And I'm not a college dropout.
I just stopped paying tuition,
and then they
- kicked me out.
- Look at 'em now.
Both empowered enough
to feel like they can interrupt me
when I'm doing a thing.
- Sorry, Carol.
- Sorry, Carol.
Carol loves to see it. And this Phil.
- Hi.
- He the art director.
Brought in before
my new hiring policies.
You know, old-school MQ.
But seriously, we don't have
a lot of Phils around here nowadays.
My name is Phil.
Okay. You know what then?
We're gonna call you Young Phil.
And Art Phil, you be Old Phil.
- I don't think that's necessary.
- Come on now, don't be cranky, Old Phil.
But on a serious note, really.
Phil here, he doesn't reflect the
younger, more diverse hiring practices
that I've put in place
since I've taken over leadership.
Bingo.
Carol just admitted
this company discriminates against
hiring people like me.
People like you?
Yeah, I'm over the age of 40,
which is a protected category.
What you've just done is called ageism.
Is that a thing?
You bet your uneducated ass it is.
- Jesus, Phil.
- Okay, calm down. Calm down.
Now, Phil, you know me.
It's Carol.
You know
I would never discriminate based on age.
Oh, yeah? Show of hands.
Who here is over the age of 40?
Plenty of people over the age of 40
work in this office.
They're just not in this room.
Where is David?
I rest my case.
Is he laughing or coughing?
- Both, I think.
- Okay.
I've been waiting for this day
for so long.
Just biding my time,
enduring all the quiet indignities.
The long nights, the constant demand
to come in on a holiday
to just whip up a magical forest
or winter wonderland.
But it was all worth it
because I finally caught you in the act.
And all of you.
You're all my witnesses.
I shall leverage your
generation's desire
for performative accountability
and transparency
to my advantage.
This is my golden ticket.
This is the year of Phil!
Goddamn it!
Feel the taste of my
blade, White Knight.
I think the Masked Man's German.
- Digging it. Super cool.
- Yeah.
I am getting so boned.
David, I'm here.
- What? What are you doing here?
- Jo texted me.
She said you were getting manhandled
by this Hollywood snowflake.
So, I just wanna let you know, man,
that I am literally willing to fight
this guy if it means saving my movie.
It's my movie.
And I don't want you
fighting the star of it.
- Understand?
- If you are concerned about his size,
- do not be.
- I'm not.
Because I'm just going to drop a level,
take him down, go to full mount and then
- have a very effective ground and pound.
- Do not touch his body or his face,
to be clear, okay?
I need you to leave.
Go back to GrimPop, please.
On a bit of a sabbatical from GrimPop.
Kind of a self-imposed exile.
She kicked you out, huh?
No, she didn't kick me out.
Poppy and I are just going through
a little bit of a thing.
They kissed.
What? We did not kiss!
They totally kissed.
We didn't kiss! I didn't kiss Poppy!
- There's no kissing!
- Yeah, Jo. Poppy is...
A prude?
- Well, no. No, she's just...
- Diseased?
- No. That's...
- Forget it.
I'm just gonna go save my movie. Okay?
Do not go in there.
That's my movie. It's my movie.
What the hell?
Trust me, David. Joe loves
the game. Ian created the game.
If Ian tells Joe to take the mask off,
he'll accept it.
And if he doesn't, huh?
Then Ian's gonna get his ass handed to him
and Joe's gonna walk off the production.
Yeah, oh.
Hey.
Hey.
Dude. Ian?
Oh, man, I didn't
recognize you at first.
Wow. I thought you were smaller,
but I don't know.
Maybe it's like a presence thing.
- What is happening?
- I'm a big fan.
Longtime player.
Could I get you
to sign the inside of my mask?
That way, if I'm ever tempted to take it
off during the duration of the film,
I will see your signature
and I'll remember why I'm doing this.
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Totally. I'll totally sign it.
- Awesome. Nice.
- I keep a Sharpie with me, just in case.
- Perfect.
- This is huge.
- Really?
You have no idea. Yeah.
Hey, you know, you're great.
- You're great.
- David, he's great.
David. This guy's great.
Great.
No, no, no.
That old bitch is not taking Carol down.
As a legal precaution, you might
wanna start phasing out the word "old."
And maybe "bitch."
Don't you dare take "bitch"
from me, okay? I'm saying "bitch."
- Okay.
- Now, we can fix this. We can fix this.
I just need to fire a few people
so I can hire some new old bitches.
Yeah, about that.
We did a quick diversity analysis
of the office
to find the best candidates to let go.
And, as you can see, you did
such a great job diversifying the office
that virtually every employee
now falls under a protected category.
No.
How is that possible?
What about that Lindsay in accounting?
She's young and she white.
- And pregnant.
- And bisexual.
Literally every single person
in accounting is bisexual.
It's always a numbers game with them.
Damn it. I am a victim
of my own success.
In a way, you should be proud.
And in a bigger, more real way,
you should be angry and afraid.
Carol is screwed.
Phil is gonna sue this company,
and then Montreal is going to fire my ass
because there are no other asses to fire.
Well, almost. Despite your best efforts,
there is one department
in the company that remains unprotected.
Yes, bitch.
So being confident is all
about getting out of your head
so you could be in the present moment.
Okay, so you want me
to shut my brain off? I can do that.
- Really?
- Uh-huh. It's like clearing a hard drive.
Try to not think of anything
for ten seconds.
All I hear is screaming.
Exactly.
Your mind has become too powerful,
and it's holding you hostage.
In order to get you out of your head...
I'm gonna have to get in it.
When you look in a mirror,
what do you see?
- Nothing.
- Wow.
- I don't own a mirror.
- That explains the hair.
- What's wrong with my...
- Okay, don't think, just answer.
- When I wake up in the morning, I feel?
- Dread.
- About?
- Everything I have to do...
- So the future?
- And everything I've ever done.
And the past.
- This is great.
- How is that great?
Because the future
and the past doesn't exist.
- All that exists is the present moment.
- Oh, come on!
Poppy. I am trying to help you.
Really? 'Cause it sounds
like you're trying to out-Ian Ian.
Look, I know you think
that we're exactly the same,
but there's a big difference
between me and Ian.
He likes you. I don't.
And I'm only trying to help you
so you don't blow this chance
at selling our game.
Wait, hold on. Our game?
Since when is this your game?
- Since always.
- I built it.
Yeah, and I saw its potential.
The balls on you.
I worked at Mythic Quest for eight years.
Not once did I consider it "my game."
Why not?
Well... S...
I don't know.
Okay, change of plan.
I want to get out of my head
and into yours.
Teach me how to live life
with this insane level of confidence.
I mean, I could try my best.
But we only have 12 hours
until we need to be at our pitch.
You think you're coming to the pitch?
Holy shit!
Crack open that beautiful skull
and let me in.
This is why I don't like you.
- Yes.
- Oh, yes.
Yes.
This is great.
You are... I mean, you got the moves.
Well, I mean,
it's like looking in the mirror.
- I learned everything from watching you.
- Thank you for saying that.
I was just thinking, I feel like
you could play me in a movie about me.
You haven't given up the rights
to your life story, have you?
- Absolutely not.
- Dude.
Maybe I could do all the stunts
that you're too chickenshit to do.
- Well, I actually do all my own stunts.
- Of course you do.
This guy. David, this guy is the best.
It's like we're twins, huh?
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Look at us. This is crazy.
Julius and Vincent.
- Not that Twins.
- Sorry.
No, I was thinking that we looked alike.
Spitting image.
- See? Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. All right. Let's practice.
Screw this. I'm tired of this meathead
pushing me around. This is my movie.
- Your movie.
- I'm the producer.
I don't care how big you think you are or
how much weight you think you can lift.
Either respect me
or you get the hell out.
- Tell him.
- I will tell him. I'll tell him right now.
- All you can do is come down.
- Ian, can you come in here a sec?
I'm kind of in the middle
of something here.
Now.
Sounds like you're getting yelled at.
No, this bitch doesn't yell at me.
Joe, need anything?
A little water or some peptides?
- I'm good, Dave.
- Okay, cool, cool, cool.
We are really vibing in there.
Can you feel that?
He doesn't get a lot
of my references though.
Get out.
Well, no.
I'm having a good time out there.
I think I should stay.
It's my movie, and I
need you to get out.
I'm going through kind of,
like a rough patch, and it would be cool
- if you just allow me to...
- Don't care.
Well, I'm the creator of the game.
So I should at least have some say...
You don't work here. Okay?
You have no authority over the game.
You have no authority over the movie.
You have no authority
of anything to do with Mythic Quest
or anything that is here. So leave.
I like to think
I have some spiritual authority.
Great. Tell that to the cops when
they're arresting you for trespassing.
You wouldn't call the cops on me.
Try me.
That wasn't a flinch.
I was gonna drop a level
and then single leg takedown.
Then I was gonna transition
into a triangle...
and then ground and pound.
Fine.
Fine. Forget it. I don't need you.
I don't need your stupid movie.
I'll go somewhere where I'm valued.
That was incredible, David.
How come you can't give the Hollywood
pretty boy both barrels like that?
- He needs to fall in line.
- For the last time, enough!
Stop interfering with my job.
Let me do it my way, would you please?
All right. Let's get one thing straight.
You work for me, Jo. Do you understand?
You may not always agree with me,
but it doesn't matter.
You just have to trust me.
I can see you're dedicated.
Look, I know that you
wanna do a good job,
but you won't be doing a good job
if you don't listen to me.
So just cut the shit and let me do
my job. It's gonna be better for you.
It's gonna be better for me.
It's gonna be better for the movie, Jo.
Got it?
Got it.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
I won't wear the mask the whole time.
You're the boss.
Look, I'm just
a really passionate artist, okay?
Sometimes you need to rein me in.
Just ask my wife.
Great.
You did that?
- No, you did.
- But you pressed the button though, right?
Yeah, I pressed it,
but you did the talking.
Well, yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
- That's your bad shoulder.
- Yeah, it is.
- Yeah, let's do this one. Yeah.
- Always harder on the left.
- This one doesn't have a lot of structure.
- I know.
All right. Let's show this meathead
what we got. Come on.
- Stand behind me. It looks more powerful.
- Yeah. All right.
Okay, Joe,
why don't we start from the beginning?
Hi. Will you join my
class action lawsuit?
I'm gonna take down this whole
rotten company from the inside.
I love my job.
Why?
- Because I... b...
- Just shut up.
God, I gotta find people that hate
this place just as much as I do.
Bingo.
Hey, guys.
I am suing this company for ageism.
Will you sign my...
- Hi there.
- Hi, hello.
- Who the hell are you?
- Hey, Phil.
Have you met our new testers,
Mikey and Andy?
I hired them just this morning.
- Guys, this is Phil.
- Hi.
Mikey, did you get that pillow
for your back?
Sure did. Thank you so much.
Mikey has a bad back, Phil.
Goddamn it.
Let that be a lesson to you, boys. Okay?
Nobody messes with Carol.
Absolutely.
- No, we would never.
- Hands off.
- All right. Good to hear it.
- Yeah.
- Glad to have ya.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thanks. Thank you.
She's a nice woman.
- She's great.
- Yeah.
- Who's Carol?
- I don't know.
Is she the woman at the front desk?
That was Mandy.
No, that wasn't...
- I thought her name was Andrea.
- That's wrong.
Don't worry. We still have
plenty of time to get there.
I'm not worried.
Yeah, you seem good.
I'm great. Hey, toss me your keys.
Why?
I wanna drive.
Deceptively simple,
but with endless possibilities.
Playpen asks the question,
"Why play someone else's game
when you can build your own?"
Incredible. You've done it again.
Thank you. Thank you.
The graphics aren't
a hundred percent there.
- But you see where I'm going with it.
- I totally get it. Great pitch.
Pass.
What now?
It's gonna be a pass.
As in, "Pass me the checkbook,
'cause I can't wait
to invest in this game"?
No, pass as in pass.
I'm passing on your stupid little game.
He's not buying it.
Why?
Why? Is it because we were late?
Because the pedals
in Dana's car were very confusing.
They're not. And it's on me.
I shouldn't have let her drive.
No, it was more the part where
you rudely turned down my last offer
and told me to "suck your duck."
You remember that?
Wait, this is the same guy?
You're pitching to the same guy?
Yeah, of course,
because I was being confident.
That's not confident! That is psychotic.
What? Oh, my God!
- What is the difference?
- Great.
- Well, we're done here.
- Whatever.
Well, you're not the only one.
The... There are thousands of VCs
in this town.
They're all gonna tell
you the same thing.
Your game isn't investable.
You need 12 million people building games
with Playpen for it to see any profits.
Do you have 12 million friends?
Do you have 12 friends?
Didn't think so.
Oops.
Guess this is what my acting coach meant
when she said,
"You need to reveal yourself more."
That's a good one, Mr. Manganiello.
It's Joe.
Joe, right. Sorry.
So we...
We're just gonna capture
a little test footage for the studio.
We'll get started in just a minute here.
But again, very excited
to be working with you on the film, sir.
Masked Man. It's a dream role.
Well, that means a lot coming from
the mouth of Alcide Herveaux himself.
Who?
It's his character from True Blood.
I... It's good to let him know
that I'm a fan of his work.
You know, makes him feel comfortable.
Who cares how he feels? He's a worker.
No, Jo. The culture
of Hollywood is very different.
These celebrities, they get coddled.
And we need him,
so we're gonna coddle away.
Okay, so we're just flying in
a head rig for you here.
Just to capture
that beautiful Manganiello mug.
No. Won't be necessary.
- And it's Joe.
- Joe, right.
Because...
I'm going to be wearing this.
Helps me get into character.
Had it custom made.
Guess this is what my facialist meant
when she said,
"A good mask is gonna cost you."
Indeed.
But this is just for the moments
of the film where you take the mask off.
Yeah, I'm not gonna be
taking it off for the entire movie.
Makes sense.
Sorry, why's that?
Wouldn't be in keeping
with the canon of the story.
Think about it.
Masked Man taking off his mask.
It's like giving your D&D party
the dragon's full hit point total
and list of lair actions
- right out of the gate.
- You got that right.
- What is he talking about?
- I have no idea.
You look upset.
I am very upset, Jo.
You do not look upset. You better smile.
Okay. So, this guy's gonna
hide his face the whole movie?
The studio's gonna freak out.
I'm gonna freak out.
- The fans are gonna freak out.
- David.
You're management. Be forceful
and tell the worker to comply.
Smile!
That's not the culture, okay?
I don't know what the culture is.
That culture you're describing
is the last days of the USSR.
It's fine. It's fine.
You know, we'll get through this, right?
- Do not panic.
- David! Gonna need a water.
Water flying in.
Get him a fucking water!
Deceptively simple,
but with endless possibilities.
Playpen asks the question,
"Why play someone else's game
- when you can build your own?"
- When you can build your own.
- Nailed it.
- Wow.
- Are you really gonna clap every time?
- Yeah, you don't have to clap every time.
You know, I want your honest feedback.
- We're sorry. Sorry.
- Sorry.
It's a great pitch.
I think it's gonna go even better
without Ian in the room
gumming up the works with his,
you know, his...
Effortless confidence
and natural charisma?
I have those things too. I'm confident.
You should tell that to your hives.
Shit! Okay.
- Well, I'll... I can wear a turtleneck or...
- You can hide the hives,
but you cannot hide
that lack of confidence.
I am confident. About programming.
This is just... It's a new gear for me.
Everything is riding on this.
- I can't screw it up, and if I...
- Oh, my God, they're spreading.
Okay, Poppy. Poppy.
Poppy! Relax.
Listen, the pitch doesn't matter.
Oh, my God. You sound just like Ian.
Of course it matters!
I have to convince this guy
to buy my game for $50 million!
He's not buying your game.
He's buying you.
You have to convince him
to invest in Poppy.
And he's not gonna do that unless
you march in there with confidence
like the money's already yours
and the pitch doesn't matter.
- That is being confident.
- That is being untethered from reality.
What's the difference?
Wow, it's actually spooky.
Now, all my new hires are my babies.
And I love my new babies.
I can't wait to get to know
each and every one of you.
But first, I wanna introduce you
to some of my greatest success stories.
This is Rachel.
A gay woman of color.
A college dropout.
Halfway to a wasted life.
Maybe a few days away
from picking up a needle.
- No. No, no. I don't do that.
- And then Carol steps in, extends a hand,
and this gay orphan rises in the ranks
to become Head of Monetization.
And then there's Brad.
A Polish-Indian ex-con
who started as a janitor
and then went on to
work in monetization.
He'd be dead in a ditch
if it wasn't for Carol.
Actually, I started in monetization,
and then I went to jail.
And I'm not a college dropout.
I just stopped paying tuition,
and then they
- kicked me out.
- Look at 'em now.
Both empowered enough
to feel like they can interrupt me
when I'm doing a thing.
- Sorry, Carol.
- Sorry, Carol.
Carol loves to see it. And this Phil.
- Hi.
- He the art director.
Brought in before
my new hiring policies.
You know, old-school MQ.
But seriously, we don't have
a lot of Phils around here nowadays.
My name is Phil.
Okay. You know what then?
We're gonna call you Young Phil.
And Art Phil, you be Old Phil.
- I don't think that's necessary.
- Come on now, don't be cranky, Old Phil.
But on a serious note, really.
Phil here, he doesn't reflect the
younger, more diverse hiring practices
that I've put in place
since I've taken over leadership.
Bingo.
Carol just admitted
this company discriminates against
hiring people like me.
People like you?
Yeah, I'm over the age of 40,
which is a protected category.
What you've just done is called ageism.
Is that a thing?
You bet your uneducated ass it is.
- Jesus, Phil.
- Okay, calm down. Calm down.
Now, Phil, you know me.
It's Carol.
You know
I would never discriminate based on age.
Oh, yeah? Show of hands.
Who here is over the age of 40?
Plenty of people over the age of 40
work in this office.
They're just not in this room.
Where is David?
I rest my case.
Is he laughing or coughing?
- Both, I think.
- Okay.
I've been waiting for this day
for so long.
Just biding my time,
enduring all the quiet indignities.
The long nights, the constant demand
to come in on a holiday
to just whip up a magical forest
or winter wonderland.
But it was all worth it
because I finally caught you in the act.
And all of you.
You're all my witnesses.
I shall leverage your
generation's desire
for performative accountability
and transparency
to my advantage.
This is my golden ticket.
This is the year of Phil!
Goddamn it!
Feel the taste of my
blade, White Knight.
I think the Masked Man's German.
- Digging it. Super cool.
- Yeah.
I am getting so boned.
David, I'm here.
- What? What are you doing here?
- Jo texted me.
She said you were getting manhandled
by this Hollywood snowflake.
So, I just wanna let you know, man,
that I am literally willing to fight
this guy if it means saving my movie.
It's my movie.
And I don't want you
fighting the star of it.
- Understand?
- If you are concerned about his size,
- do not be.
- I'm not.
Because I'm just going to drop a level,
take him down, go to full mount and then
- have a very effective ground and pound.
- Do not touch his body or his face,
to be clear, okay?
I need you to leave.
Go back to GrimPop, please.
On a bit of a sabbatical from GrimPop.
Kind of a self-imposed exile.
She kicked you out, huh?
No, she didn't kick me out.
Poppy and I are just going through
a little bit of a thing.
They kissed.
What? We did not kiss!
They totally kissed.
We didn't kiss! I didn't kiss Poppy!
- There's no kissing!
- Yeah, Jo. Poppy is...
A prude?
- Well, no. No, she's just...
- Diseased?
- No. That's...
- Forget it.
I'm just gonna go save my movie. Okay?
Do not go in there.
That's my movie. It's my movie.
What the hell?
Trust me, David. Joe loves
the game. Ian created the game.
If Ian tells Joe to take the mask off,
he'll accept it.
And if he doesn't, huh?
Then Ian's gonna get his ass handed to him
and Joe's gonna walk off the production.
Yeah, oh.
Hey.
Hey.
Dude. Ian?
Oh, man, I didn't
recognize you at first.
Wow. I thought you were smaller,
but I don't know.
Maybe it's like a presence thing.
- What is happening?
- I'm a big fan.
Longtime player.
Could I get you
to sign the inside of my mask?
That way, if I'm ever tempted to take it
off during the duration of the film,
I will see your signature
and I'll remember why I'm doing this.
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Totally. I'll totally sign it.
- Awesome. Nice.
- I keep a Sharpie with me, just in case.
- Perfect.
- This is huge.
- Really?
You have no idea. Yeah.
Hey, you know, you're great.
- You're great.
- David, he's great.
David. This guy's great.
Great.
No, no, no.
That old bitch is not taking Carol down.
As a legal precaution, you might
wanna start phasing out the word "old."
And maybe "bitch."
Don't you dare take "bitch"
from me, okay? I'm saying "bitch."
- Okay.
- Now, we can fix this. We can fix this.
I just need to fire a few people
so I can hire some new old bitches.
Yeah, about that.
We did a quick diversity analysis
of the office
to find the best candidates to let go.
And, as you can see, you did
such a great job diversifying the office
that virtually every employee
now falls under a protected category.
No.
How is that possible?
What about that Lindsay in accounting?
She's young and she white.
- And pregnant.
- And bisexual.
Literally every single person
in accounting is bisexual.
It's always a numbers game with them.
Damn it. I am a victim
of my own success.
In a way, you should be proud.
And in a bigger, more real way,
you should be angry and afraid.
Carol is screwed.
Phil is gonna sue this company,
and then Montreal is going to fire my ass
because there are no other asses to fire.
Well, almost. Despite your best efforts,
there is one department
in the company that remains unprotected.
Yes, bitch.
So being confident is all
about getting out of your head
so you could be in the present moment.
Okay, so you want me
to shut my brain off? I can do that.
- Really?
- Uh-huh. It's like clearing a hard drive.
Try to not think of anything
for ten seconds.
All I hear is screaming.
Exactly.
Your mind has become too powerful,
and it's holding you hostage.
In order to get you out of your head...
I'm gonna have to get in it.
When you look in a mirror,
what do you see?
- Nothing.
- Wow.
- I don't own a mirror.
- That explains the hair.
- What's wrong with my...
- Okay, don't think, just answer.
- When I wake up in the morning, I feel?
- Dread.
- About?
- Everything I have to do...
- So the future?
- And everything I've ever done.
And the past.
- This is great.
- How is that great?
Because the future
and the past doesn't exist.
- All that exists is the present moment.
- Oh, come on!
Poppy. I am trying to help you.
Really? 'Cause it sounds
like you're trying to out-Ian Ian.
Look, I know you think
that we're exactly the same,
but there's a big difference
between me and Ian.
He likes you. I don't.
And I'm only trying to help you
so you don't blow this chance
at selling our game.
Wait, hold on. Our game?
Since when is this your game?
- Since always.
- I built it.
Yeah, and I saw its potential.
The balls on you.
I worked at Mythic Quest for eight years.
Not once did I consider it "my game."
Why not?
Well... S...
I don't know.
Okay, change of plan.
I want to get out of my head
and into yours.
Teach me how to live life
with this insane level of confidence.
I mean, I could try my best.
But we only have 12 hours
until we need to be at our pitch.
You think you're coming to the pitch?
Holy shit!
Crack open that beautiful skull
and let me in.
This is why I don't like you.
- Yes.
- Oh, yes.
Yes.
This is great.
You are... I mean, you got the moves.
Well, I mean,
it's like looking in the mirror.
- I learned everything from watching you.
- Thank you for saying that.
I was just thinking, I feel like
you could play me in a movie about me.
You haven't given up the rights
to your life story, have you?
- Absolutely not.
- Dude.
Maybe I could do all the stunts
that you're too chickenshit to do.
- Well, I actually do all my own stunts.
- Of course you do.
This guy. David, this guy is the best.
It's like we're twins, huh?
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Look at us. This is crazy.
Julius and Vincent.
- Not that Twins.
- Sorry.
No, I was thinking that we looked alike.
Spitting image.
- See? Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. All right. Let's practice.
Screw this. I'm tired of this meathead
pushing me around. This is my movie.
- Your movie.
- I'm the producer.
I don't care how big you think you are or
how much weight you think you can lift.
Either respect me
or you get the hell out.
- Tell him.
- I will tell him. I'll tell him right now.
- All you can do is come down.
- Ian, can you come in here a sec?
I'm kind of in the middle
of something here.
Now.
Sounds like you're getting yelled at.
No, this bitch doesn't yell at me.
Joe, need anything?
A little water or some peptides?
- I'm good, Dave.
- Okay, cool, cool, cool.
We are really vibing in there.
Can you feel that?
He doesn't get a lot
of my references though.
Get out.
Well, no.
I'm having a good time out there.
I think I should stay.
It's my movie, and I
need you to get out.
I'm going through kind of,
like a rough patch, and it would be cool
- if you just allow me to...
- Don't care.
Well, I'm the creator of the game.
So I should at least have some say...
You don't work here. Okay?
You have no authority over the game.
You have no authority over the movie.
You have no authority
of anything to do with Mythic Quest
or anything that is here. So leave.
I like to think
I have some spiritual authority.
Great. Tell that to the cops when
they're arresting you for trespassing.
You wouldn't call the cops on me.
Try me.
That wasn't a flinch.
I was gonna drop a level
and then single leg takedown.
Then I was gonna transition
into a triangle...
and then ground and pound.
Fine.
Fine. Forget it. I don't need you.
I don't need your stupid movie.
I'll go somewhere where I'm valued.
That was incredible, David.
How come you can't give the Hollywood
pretty boy both barrels like that?
- He needs to fall in line.
- For the last time, enough!
Stop interfering with my job.
Let me do it my way, would you please?
All right. Let's get one thing straight.
You work for me, Jo. Do you understand?
You may not always agree with me,
but it doesn't matter.
You just have to trust me.
I can see you're dedicated.
Look, I know that you
wanna do a good job,
but you won't be doing a good job
if you don't listen to me.
So just cut the shit and let me do
my job. It's gonna be better for you.
It's gonna be better for me.
It's gonna be better for the movie, Jo.
Got it?
Got it.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
I won't wear the mask the whole time.
You're the boss.
Look, I'm just
a really passionate artist, okay?
Sometimes you need to rein me in.
Just ask my wife.
Great.
You did that?
- No, you did.
- But you pressed the button though, right?
Yeah, I pressed it,
but you did the talking.
Well, yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
- That's your bad shoulder.
- Yeah, it is.
- Yeah, let's do this one. Yeah.
- Always harder on the left.
- This one doesn't have a lot of structure.
- I know.
All right. Let's show this meathead
what we got. Come on.
- Stand behind me. It looks more powerful.
- Yeah. All right.
Okay, Joe,
why don't we start from the beginning?
Hi. Will you join my
class action lawsuit?
I'm gonna take down this whole
rotten company from the inside.
I love my job.
Why?
- Because I... b...
- Just shut up.
God, I gotta find people that hate
this place just as much as I do.
Bingo.
Hey, guys.
I am suing this company for ageism.
Will you sign my...
- Hi there.
- Hi, hello.
- Who the hell are you?
- Hey, Phil.
Have you met our new testers,
Mikey and Andy?
I hired them just this morning.
- Guys, this is Phil.
- Hi.
Mikey, did you get that pillow
for your back?
Sure did. Thank you so much.
Mikey has a bad back, Phil.
Goddamn it.
Let that be a lesson to you, boys. Okay?
Nobody messes with Carol.
Absolutely.
- No, we would never.
- Hands off.
- All right. Good to hear it.
- Yeah.
- Glad to have ya.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thanks. Thank you.
She's a nice woman.
- She's great.
- Yeah.
- Who's Carol?
- I don't know.
Is she the woman at the front desk?
That was Mandy.
No, that wasn't...
- I thought her name was Andrea.
- That's wrong.
Don't worry. We still have
plenty of time to get there.
I'm not worried.
Yeah, you seem good.
I'm great. Hey, toss me your keys.
Why?
I wanna drive.
Deceptively simple,
but with endless possibilities.
Playpen asks the question,
"Why play someone else's game
when you can build your own?"
Incredible. You've done it again.
Thank you. Thank you.
The graphics aren't
a hundred percent there.
- But you see where I'm going with it.
- I totally get it. Great pitch.
Pass.
What now?
It's gonna be a pass.
As in, "Pass me the checkbook,
'cause I can't wait
to invest in this game"?
No, pass as in pass.
I'm passing on your stupid little game.
He's not buying it.
Why?
Why? Is it because we were late?
Because the pedals
in Dana's car were very confusing.
They're not. And it's on me.
I shouldn't have let her drive.
No, it was more the part where
you rudely turned down my last offer
and told me to "suck your duck."
You remember that?
Wait, this is the same guy?
You're pitching to the same guy?
Yeah, of course,
because I was being confident.
That's not confident! That is psychotic.
What? Oh, my God!
- What is the difference?
- Great.
- Well, we're done here.
- Whatever.
Well, you're not the only one.
The... There are thousands of VCs
in this town.
They're all gonna tell
you the same thing.
Your game isn't investable.
You need 12 million people building games
with Playpen for it to see any profits.
Do you have 12 million friends?
Do you have 12 friends?
Didn't think so.
Oops.