Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
And that is Hera.
Incredible. I am blown away.
- Thanks. Thank you.
- Thank you.
If your game is half as exciting
as that pitch, we'd love to invest.
- What?
- This is just a vertical slice.
So... So the full game
will be much more impressive.
Amazing. You two have built the...
Model prisoner.
You have a spotless record.
You volunteered in the library.
You even taught classes in finance
to prepare other inmates for their parole.
- Yeah.
- Honestly, Mr. Bakshi,
it's a shame to lose you.
No, I don't think
you're gonna lose me.
No, but seriously,
I sit before you a changed man.
We see that.
You are proof that reform is possible,
because prisons only work when...
Costs are down, numbers are up.
Excellent work, David.
Well, thank you, Jacques and Jean-Luc.
Yeah, I can't take all the credit.
As we know, it takes a village,
and, uh, I think these prof reports
will show you
just how well this village was run.
Uh, streamlined, responsible. It is...
The most complex game engine
ever conceived.
This is our masterpiece.
Yes, and we are solely focused on the now.
So forget about our past...
Indiscretions.
If you give me another chance,
I swear I will never...
Toot my own horn.
I'll let the numbers do that for me.
But the truth is...
I am...
Way better off...
- Without them.
- Damn straight.
- Jo.
- Sorry.
Now, let's talk about our future.
How long do we wait?
How... How long are we supposed to wait?
Ian!
- Are you... Are you talking to me?
- Who else would I be talking to?
You're the only other person
that works in this office.
Can you get off the stupid VR game?
I'm not playing a stupid VR game, Poppy.
I am navigating,
and quite possibly building,
a very small subsection of the Metaverse.
No, no.
No more speeches about the Web3 frontier
- and... and "non-fungal tokens."
- Non-fungible. Non-fungible.
Which means "unable to be replaced
by an identical item."
Much like your kidneys,
but keep drinking that green soda.
I saw you injecting yourself
with horse hormones this morning.
Okay. First of all,
those were amino acids, and secondly...
Shut up, shut up. Their offer's come in.
- The... They've emailed their offer. Yeah.
- Really? That was fast.
That's a good sign.
Okay, bef... before we open this,
I think we should make a pact.
- Okay.
- We don't take less than 25.
Twenty-five is... is what we asked for,
and that's what they have to pay.
I like this Poppy.
Go big or don't go. Twenty-five it is.
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
"Ian and Poppy, everyone is buzzing
over your presentation…"
Blah, blah, blah.
"…excited to move forward
with an offer of 50 million."
Fifty million?
Is this... Is this real?
Yeah.
- This is my dream.
- Yes!
- This is the greatest day of my life!
- Yes.
- And we did it! We really did it!
- Yes!
We just made $50 million!
No.
What?
We didn't make $50 million
because we're not gonna take the money.
What? What?
- But we asked for 25…
- Right.
- …and... and they offered us, um, 50.
- Correct.
But we're not gonna take it?
No.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yes.
Look, Pop, there are reasons
to take the money.
There are reasons not to.
It just doesn't feel right in my gut.
Your gut?
Your g...
We, um, spent all our seed money
on this game,
in this stupid spaceship office.
I mean, I've been struggling
to pay my rent,
but we're not gonna take double
what we asked for because of your gut?
Did you want me to say "yes" again, or
can you infer based on the conversation?
Your gut is always making these decisions.
You... You said that we would make
GrimPop Studios to develop my game!
So this is not for your gut to decide.
My gut is making this call.
You're right. You're totally right.
This is your game,
and you should make the call.
So what do you wanna do?
I think that we should take the money.
You think we should take it?
I wanna take the money!
Take the money?
Okay. That's a lot of money.
- Yes!
- All right. Let's take it.
- Yes!
- All right. Good call.
- Congrats, Pop.
- Okay.
Take... Take the money.
It's... It's a big win.
That's... That's... That's...
That's a big win, Poppy.
- So...
- Ugh.
Jo.
She's just gonna keep calling.
- Hi, Jo.
- Where are you?
- Mmm.
- Good to hear your voice too.
We're on the 5.
We just left San Francisco,
and we are en route.
You just left?
You're gonna be late for C.W.'s party.
He's flying in from Europe for this.
If he can make it here on time,
so can you.
Sorry. Rach got hungry,
so we stopped to get a muffin.
I don't wanna hear
what you put your muff in.
- Why?
- Ew, Jo. Ugh!
Why you... are so gross all the time?
I promised C.W. I would get everybody here
by seven o'clock sharp.
As in if you aren't here on time,
I will cut you with something sharp.
Goodbye.
Carol's got issues.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
things are good.
I got a new job title, and a raise,
and… …they backed that
ol' dump truck up against Carol's house,
but I don't do anything.
Then again,
I've been underpaid my whole life,
so if these dumbass French Canadians
wanna give me beaucoup bucks
for doing nothing,
then I should just take it, right?
I don't know. What do you think?
I think you jump from the first
to third person too often.
It's hard to follow.
Mr. Brittlesbee is very busy.
If you're mentally ill,
I'd be more than happy
- to drive you to a nearby asylum.
- Jo, please.
Uh, Carol, look, you're more valuable
to this company than ever.
I mean, Montreal made you
Head of Diversity and Inclusion.
- I don't even know what that means.
- Uh, well…
I'm just trying to justify a job
where I'm overpaid but do nothing.
How do you do it, David?
Me? Uh… I do a lot.
I... Carol, I-I manage the crazy creatives.
I'm, uh, producing significant content
for a massive video game.
The crazy creatives are gone.
We aren't really producing
any more significant content.
Well, still. I... I do a lot.
My days are filled with endless meetings.
Oh, and you have C.W.'s event tonight.
Yes. Thank you, Jo.
C.W., who's returning
from his yearlong, whirlwind book tour,
is hosting an event tonight.
Everyone's gonna be there.
And guess who has to manage it all?
Me. I had to organize the entire event.
Well, yes, but I manage you.
- Jo, can you get me some tea, please?
- Of course.
You see, uh, Carol, the...
This corporation is…
…a complex system of operations that...
Okay, she's gone.
Uh, yes. My job is basically nonexistent.
All I do is tread water,
and just hope that nobody notices.
See? I knew it. I'm getting a peek
behind the white curtain.
Thank you, David.
It's not a white or Black thing.
It's a red tape thing,
and I've been navigating it for years.
I can help you, but I'm gonna need
a little bit more information.
Um, did they give you
any actual responsibilities?
- No.
- And who do you report to?
No one.
- And what's your budget?
- Nothing.
Ooh, yeah. Well, that's right on track.
David, what is happening?
Oh, you're a figurehead. Yeah.
Look, you're given just enough resources
and power to make zero impact.
Your job is to provide cover.
You know, maintain the status quo.
It feels empty,
but they give you that salary,
and it fills that hole in your soul.
Carol has always wanted golden handcuffs.
It is a conundrum.
David wrestles with it every day.
- It don't work when you do it.
- I thought I had it.
- No, you do not.
- Yeah? All right.
Well, either way,
uh, if you wanna keep that gold,
you gotta move those papers around,
you know,
fill your calendar with meetings.
I like to call it the "hokey-pokey,"
right?
You put your right foot in.
You put your right foot out.
You turn it all about.
You do the hokey-pokey,
but you always stay
in the exact same place.
- You do not move, right?
- Okay.
I do, uh, feel like we've talked
about everything we need to.
So, um, why don't you, uh,
get back to me with your progress?
- Sounds good.
- Productive talk.
Why don't we put a weekly meeting
in the calendar?
In the calendar.
All right. I'm gonna get back to work.
Back to work.
- Here's your tea, boss.
- Thank you, Jo.
You have a meeting in five minutes, boss.
I sure do.
Poppy?
Poppy?
Where are you?
We're gonna have to leave soon
if we wanna make C.W.'s thing tonight.
Jo won't stop texting me just to confirm
that we're actually coming.
These losers are so desperate to see us.
It's pathetic.
Poppy, where are you?
I'm in here.
- Where's here?
- The bathroom.
Where is the bathroom?
I... I can never find this damn thing.
You're the one that didn't want lines
anywhere in the office.
Poppy, lines are so Web1.
You don't wanna be in Web1, do you?
I have no idea.
What web are we in right now?
Well, the whole office is outfit for Web3,
but most of the world
is in Web2 transitioning to Web3.
If I have to be honest,
I'd say I'm actually Web4.
- Uh, metaphorically speaking, of course.
- Wow, okay.
Well, the toilet's clogged so call
the Imagineers to come flush my shit.
Hey, are you okay?
You were in there for a really long time.
Yeah. My gut is, um, not good.
I really thought that taking the money
was the right call,
but then I thought,
"Well, this morning I thought
that taking 25 was the right call,
and that would've been the wrong call.
So maybe we should hold out
for more money,"
but then I thought, "Well,
what if I was right about the 25?
And... And holding out is...
Is only gonna give them more time
to realize that...
That they made a mistake."
And so we... we sh...
We should just take it, right?
But then I thought, "Well,
it's not even really about the money.
It's about finding the right partner
to work with."
And I don't wanna work with someone
that... that offered 50
but only thinks that we're worth 25.
And that's when I had to run to the
bathroom and have explosive diarrhea.
Wow. Okay.
So anyway,
I think it's good because...
'Cause now our guts agree.
We should not take the money.
Yeah, oh, sorry.
Um, now my gut's telling me to take it.
- What?
- Yeah.
My gut is telling me
we should definitely take the money.
But just yesterday
you said that we shouldn't.
But that was yesterday.
A whole day has passed since then.
Yes, I know how days work.
What I don't understand
is how you can be so sure of something
when you believed the exact opposite
the day before.
Oh, well, yesterday I was right too.
It's only now that I realize yesterday
I was wrong, but I'm right today.
That's insane.
Maybe, but I've always led by my gut.
But what if you make the wrong call?
Oh, it can't be the wrong call.
It might not be the call
that yields the best result,
but that doesn't make it wrong.
Look, take these people for example:
Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt,
Nelson Mandela, Henry Ford.
These are leaders who listened
to their inner voice and made a call.
Then they let the chips fall
where they may.
If your gut is right 51% of the time,
that's a good gut.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
I cannot believe I am listening to a man
who thinks he belongs on the same wall
as Mother Teresa.
You don't like Mother Teresa?
What's wrong with you?
No, I'm saying that you...
Uh, you shouldn't be...
Look, Poppy, it doesn't matter
what I believe about myself.
What matters
is what you believe about yourself.
And my gut tells me that you belong
on that wall.
What does yours say?
- Hi, Jo.
- Where are you?
We... We're, uh, close.
Um, well, we're...
We got hung up in Central California.
C.W.'s currently over the
South Pacific Ocean and closing in fast.
- How do you know that?
- I'm tracking him.
He set up an app...
I don't have to explain myself.
Explain yourselves!
We got pulled over.
You're getting a speeding ticket?
We were.
But then Rachel got into it with the cop.
I was ju... I... I
spoke a little truth to...
Truth to power.
And now he's running our plates.
Give me to him.
- I'm sorry?
- Hand him the phone.
O... Officer? Excuse me.
Yeah.
Our friend wants to talk to you
for a second.
Hello?
Seems weird.
- Sorry. I...
- He has a gun.
I know he has a gun.
And I just thought I was being helpful,
'cause he was being a little rude.
And now I'm realizing
that was very ill-advised.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm just very sorry.
Here.
You're free to go.
That's some Illuminati shit.
Let's go.
Let's go and never talk about this again.
Hey, David, you got a minute?
Several, yeah.
I'm just walking the halls at a brisk pace
to give the appearance I'm busy.
- Pro tip.
- Thanks.
So, I was thinking about
what you were saying.
- You know, about treading water?
- Mmm. Ripples, not waves, baby.
Yeah, but the thing is,
I really do wanna make a difference.
Oh, yeah, we all do.
And hopefully, someday we will,
but until then just, uh, you know,
hokey-pokey, Carol.
Well, actually, I had an idea.
Or should I say, one came into my office,
and I hired him.
- Well, that's kind of a big move.
- No. No. Small salary.
And I'm giving an opportunity to someone
from a traditionally marginalized group.
Yeah. Okay, great.
Yeah, you managed to pokey
while still effecting change. Bravo.
Thank you.
Now I'd like to introduce you
to our newest employee.
Hello, David.
Brad? What are you doing here?
Carol hired me.
No, no. No.
I mean, I'm sorry, but…
…we cannot rehire an employee
who's been convicted for insider trading
to be our Head of Monetization.
He's not. He's our new janitor.
I'm excited to get cleaning.
Okay.
What? What's your angle?
Oh. There's no angles. I've gone straight.
Oh, please. I mean, look at your body.
You're all angles.
David, look, I've paid my dues.
I've recognized the error of my ways,
and I'm just trying to enter back
into society honestly as a reformed man.
And as a brown felon,
which is two for the price of one.
Or really, two for the price of half,
because we get a subsidy for hiring him.
- So, doing good, saving cash.
- Love a good coupon.
Look, David, I know you don't trust me.
It's gonna be a process,
but I just hope to earn your trust
one clean urinal at a time.
C.W.'s getting here any minute.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm reformed now.
So am I.
- I'm working a menial job at Mythic Quest.
- So am I.
Menial? Uh...
She's my assistant, to be clear.
- Good.
- Good.
To that I say, "Great."
I'ma put this on the website.
Wow.
It's really strange to be back
after all this time, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's kinda like, you know
when you go visit a childhood home
and you're different but it's the same?
And it just kinda feels, like, smaller.
- Yeah, it feels smaller, doesn't it?
- Yeah.
Well, well, well.
David, it is nice to see you.
Is it?
MQ's doing well
and probably stings a little bit.
I know you guys didn't think
I could do it.
No... No, no, we...
I mean, we literally
haven't said your name in a year.
- Oh.
- Yeah. In fact, when I think about you,
- all I feel is...
- Jealousy?
- No.
- Rage?
- No.
- Sad?
- No.
- Wistful?
- Mmm. Apathy? Yeah.
- I'm... Yeah, apathy.
So, I guess you can't really feel apathy.
- It's sort of a lack of feeling.
- Ditto.
You know, I don't feel that way...
Or not feel that way… either.
And frankly,
you guys would just drag us down.
The way we are running right now…
…you wouldn't recognize the place.
Oh, we got a new staff.
We got a whole new culture.
You know, i-it's...
It's completely different.
- Hey, guys. Nice to see you again.
- Oh. Hey, Brad. You out of prison?
- Yeah. Working here again.
- Oh.
- Looks the same to me.
- Okay, yeah.
You guys have it all figured out,
don't you?
You're the cool, sexy mavericks
who are changing the world.
Kind of. I'll have you know that we
just took a $50 million investment.
And shoved it up their asses.
Now that's a little confusing.
We took a $25 million offer that we had
and we shoved that up their asses,
- but $50 million is what we actually took.
- No. I turned the 50 million down.
- You turned down $50 million?
- Actually, I turned down $60 million,
which is what they countered with
after I passed.
You would've loved it.
I told them to "suck my duck,"
which obviously isn't what I meant,
but autocorrect boned me.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Even after we discussed...
- We said we weren't gonna take it.
No. We said we were gonna take it,
because...
- My gut said "turn it down". My gut…
- But your gut fucking sucks.
Seems like you two
have it all figured out.
- I said tomorrow, my gut…
- All right, look.
There are no lines in the office, David.
- We're here!
- We made it! We're here.
Oh, hooray. Why don't you sit down?
He's almost here.
Hi, everybody. Long time no see.
- Who are you?
- That's funny.
Are you serious?
- Hey, I'm Ian Grimm.
- I know.
- This is my girlfriend, Rachel.
- Oh, hey, Dana.
- Hey. How's it going?
- You've gotta be kidding me.
Everyone, shut up. Shut up.
I have strict instructions from C.W.
that at exactly 8:15,
I am to deliver this letter to David.
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh. Okay.
In 20 more seconds.
Seriously?
- He was very precise.
- Well… Okay.
- David, I have a question.
- You don't have to raise your hand.
- Uh, where's C.W.?
- I don't know where he is.
- He's not showing up for his own party?
- I don't know.
Does he think we're just gonna sit here
and wait for him?
She called my name, I came up.
That's all I know.
We don't have time for this.
We should just go, right?
- Yeah. Let's just go.
- I'm gonna go too.
- We didn't wanna come in the first place.
- Three, two, one. Read.
He's not even showing up
to his own party? I mean, this is bizarre.
"If you're hearing these words,
I am already dead."
Wait, what?
"That's right.
Dead as Dillinger, daddy-o."
Come on.
I don't know. I'm just reading it.
Well, keep going.
"Some time ago I was given
a rather unfortunate prognosis,
and I decided to script the conclusion
of my own story.
In a moment,
I shall climb into a Ford Thunderbird
and drive off into the Grand Canyon,
"knowing I ended my story like no other.
A true original."
That's the end of Thelma and Louise.
"My remains will be retrieved,
placed into a satellite,
and launched into space.
Josephine has unwittingly been tracking
my celestial path across the globe,
and soon I will be directly above you
in the night sky."
Wait. Wait, wait a second.
This is bullshit.
He's in a satellite, David?
Again, I am just reading the piece
of paper that was just handed to me.
- But this is fucking nuts.
- This is crazy.
- He didn't actually do this, right?
- It's C.W. Who knows?
- Is he actually dead?
- Yeah, David, is... is he really dead?
I don't know.
I am experiencing this with you
at the same time.
- Well, is there more?
- Let's find out together, shall we?
"I do apologize
for keeping you in the dark,
but like any great story,
mine had to be unexpected and inevitable
at the same time.
I stole that line
from a writer I once knew.
I stole a lot of things.
But worse than that, I let my hubris
convince me that I didn't need friends.
That success was the only thing
that mattered.
That I was better off alone.
I was wrong.
And if I had to do it all over again,
I wouldn't change a thing.
Because that mistake led me to you,
my MQ family.
You gave me a second chance,
and the friendship I had with you has been
the greatest success of my life.
Do not weep for me,
for I go to my rest as so few men do.
Content.
So, if I may, one final word of advice.
Hold onto each other
for as long as you can…
"'cause that's all there is."
It's time. We're supposed to look up now.
There!
You know what that old bitch said?
He actually had the temerity to say
that leaving copies of Swank
all over his desk
was his First Amendment right.
Gross.
And weird.
What does C.W. call this drink again?
It's called a Rutger Hauer.
It's all about getting the right
coffee-to-cough-syrup ratio.
- Cough syrup?
- Mm-hmm.
Maybe that's why he was always drunk,
wired, and never sick.
Crazy old bitch.
Anybody want some more?
- Mmm, no.
- Uh-uh.
It's getting kinda late.
Yeah. We should probably head back
to our place.
- You're calling it?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Weird day.
Well… …goodbye, again.
You know, it was actually
kinda nice seeing you again.
Yeah, it was.
Maybe, uh, maybe we do it more often?
Yeah, yeah. Maybe we will.
Bye.
Incredible. I am blown away.
- Thanks. Thank you.
- Thank you.
If your game is half as exciting
as that pitch, we'd love to invest.
- What?
- This is just a vertical slice.
So... So the full game
will be much more impressive.
Amazing. You two have built the...
Model prisoner.
You have a spotless record.
You volunteered in the library.
You even taught classes in finance
to prepare other inmates for their parole.
- Yeah.
- Honestly, Mr. Bakshi,
it's a shame to lose you.
No, I don't think
you're gonna lose me.
No, but seriously,
I sit before you a changed man.
We see that.
You are proof that reform is possible,
because prisons only work when...
Costs are down, numbers are up.
Excellent work, David.
Well, thank you, Jacques and Jean-Luc.
Yeah, I can't take all the credit.
As we know, it takes a village,
and, uh, I think these prof reports
will show you
just how well this village was run.
Uh, streamlined, responsible. It is...
The most complex game engine
ever conceived.
This is our masterpiece.
Yes, and we are solely focused on the now.
So forget about our past...
Indiscretions.
If you give me another chance,
I swear I will never...
Toot my own horn.
I'll let the numbers do that for me.
But the truth is...
I am...
Way better off...
- Without them.
- Damn straight.
- Jo.
- Sorry.
Now, let's talk about our future.
How long do we wait?
How... How long are we supposed to wait?
Ian!
- Are you... Are you talking to me?
- Who else would I be talking to?
You're the only other person
that works in this office.
Can you get off the stupid VR game?
I'm not playing a stupid VR game, Poppy.
I am navigating,
and quite possibly building,
a very small subsection of the Metaverse.
No, no.
No more speeches about the Web3 frontier
- and... and "non-fungal tokens."
- Non-fungible. Non-fungible.
Which means "unable to be replaced
by an identical item."
Much like your kidneys,
but keep drinking that green soda.
I saw you injecting yourself
with horse hormones this morning.
Okay. First of all,
those were amino acids, and secondly...
Shut up, shut up. Their offer's come in.
- The... They've emailed their offer. Yeah.
- Really? That was fast.
That's a good sign.
Okay, bef... before we open this,
I think we should make a pact.
- Okay.
- We don't take less than 25.
Twenty-five is... is what we asked for,
and that's what they have to pay.
I like this Poppy.
Go big or don't go. Twenty-five it is.
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
"Ian and Poppy, everyone is buzzing
over your presentation…"
Blah, blah, blah.
"…excited to move forward
with an offer of 50 million."
Fifty million?
Is this... Is this real?
Yeah.
- This is my dream.
- Yes!
- This is the greatest day of my life!
- Yes.
- And we did it! We really did it!
- Yes!
We just made $50 million!
No.
What?
We didn't make $50 million
because we're not gonna take the money.
What? What?
- But we asked for 25…
- Right.
- …and... and they offered us, um, 50.
- Correct.
But we're not gonna take it?
No.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yes.
Look, Pop, there are reasons
to take the money.
There are reasons not to.
It just doesn't feel right in my gut.
Your gut?
Your g...
We, um, spent all our seed money
on this game,
in this stupid spaceship office.
I mean, I've been struggling
to pay my rent,
but we're not gonna take double
what we asked for because of your gut?
Did you want me to say "yes" again, or
can you infer based on the conversation?
Your gut is always making these decisions.
You... You said that we would make
GrimPop Studios to develop my game!
So this is not for your gut to decide.
My gut is making this call.
You're right. You're totally right.
This is your game,
and you should make the call.
So what do you wanna do?
I think that we should take the money.
You think we should take it?
I wanna take the money!
Take the money?
Okay. That's a lot of money.
- Yes!
- All right. Let's take it.
- Yes!
- All right. Good call.
- Congrats, Pop.
- Okay.
Take... Take the money.
It's... It's a big win.
That's... That's... That's...
That's a big win, Poppy.
- So...
- Ugh.
Jo.
She's just gonna keep calling.
- Hi, Jo.
- Where are you?
- Mmm.
- Good to hear your voice too.
We're on the 5.
We just left San Francisco,
and we are en route.
You just left?
You're gonna be late for C.W.'s party.
He's flying in from Europe for this.
If he can make it here on time,
so can you.
Sorry. Rach got hungry,
so we stopped to get a muffin.
I don't wanna hear
what you put your muff in.
- Why?
- Ew, Jo. Ugh!
Why you... are so gross all the time?
I promised C.W. I would get everybody here
by seven o'clock sharp.
As in if you aren't here on time,
I will cut you with something sharp.
Goodbye.
Carol's got issues.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
things are good.
I got a new job title, and a raise,
and… …they backed that
ol' dump truck up against Carol's house,
but I don't do anything.
Then again,
I've been underpaid my whole life,
so if these dumbass French Canadians
wanna give me beaucoup bucks
for doing nothing,
then I should just take it, right?
I don't know. What do you think?
I think you jump from the first
to third person too often.
It's hard to follow.
Mr. Brittlesbee is very busy.
If you're mentally ill,
I'd be more than happy
- to drive you to a nearby asylum.
- Jo, please.
Uh, Carol, look, you're more valuable
to this company than ever.
I mean, Montreal made you
Head of Diversity and Inclusion.
- I don't even know what that means.
- Uh, well…
I'm just trying to justify a job
where I'm overpaid but do nothing.
How do you do it, David?
Me? Uh… I do a lot.
I... Carol, I-I manage the crazy creatives.
I'm, uh, producing significant content
for a massive video game.
The crazy creatives are gone.
We aren't really producing
any more significant content.
Well, still. I... I do a lot.
My days are filled with endless meetings.
Oh, and you have C.W.'s event tonight.
Yes. Thank you, Jo.
C.W., who's returning
from his yearlong, whirlwind book tour,
is hosting an event tonight.
Everyone's gonna be there.
And guess who has to manage it all?
Me. I had to organize the entire event.
Well, yes, but I manage you.
- Jo, can you get me some tea, please?
- Of course.
You see, uh, Carol, the...
This corporation is…
…a complex system of operations that...
Okay, she's gone.
Uh, yes. My job is basically nonexistent.
All I do is tread water,
and just hope that nobody notices.
See? I knew it. I'm getting a peek
behind the white curtain.
Thank you, David.
It's not a white or Black thing.
It's a red tape thing,
and I've been navigating it for years.
I can help you, but I'm gonna need
a little bit more information.
Um, did they give you
any actual responsibilities?
- No.
- And who do you report to?
No one.
- And what's your budget?
- Nothing.
Ooh, yeah. Well, that's right on track.
David, what is happening?
Oh, you're a figurehead. Yeah.
Look, you're given just enough resources
and power to make zero impact.
Your job is to provide cover.
You know, maintain the status quo.
It feels empty,
but they give you that salary,
and it fills that hole in your soul.
Carol has always wanted golden handcuffs.
It is a conundrum.
David wrestles with it every day.
- It don't work when you do it.
- I thought I had it.
- No, you do not.
- Yeah? All right.
Well, either way,
uh, if you wanna keep that gold,
you gotta move those papers around,
you know,
fill your calendar with meetings.
I like to call it the "hokey-pokey,"
right?
You put your right foot in.
You put your right foot out.
You turn it all about.
You do the hokey-pokey,
but you always stay
in the exact same place.
- You do not move, right?
- Okay.
I do, uh, feel like we've talked
about everything we need to.
So, um, why don't you, uh,
get back to me with your progress?
- Sounds good.
- Productive talk.
Why don't we put a weekly meeting
in the calendar?
In the calendar.
All right. I'm gonna get back to work.
Back to work.
- Here's your tea, boss.
- Thank you, Jo.
You have a meeting in five minutes, boss.
I sure do.
Poppy?
Poppy?
Where are you?
We're gonna have to leave soon
if we wanna make C.W.'s thing tonight.
Jo won't stop texting me just to confirm
that we're actually coming.
These losers are so desperate to see us.
It's pathetic.
Poppy, where are you?
I'm in here.
- Where's here?
- The bathroom.
Where is the bathroom?
I... I can never find this damn thing.
You're the one that didn't want lines
anywhere in the office.
Poppy, lines are so Web1.
You don't wanna be in Web1, do you?
I have no idea.
What web are we in right now?
Well, the whole office is outfit for Web3,
but most of the world
is in Web2 transitioning to Web3.
If I have to be honest,
I'd say I'm actually Web4.
- Uh, metaphorically speaking, of course.
- Wow, okay.
Well, the toilet's clogged so call
the Imagineers to come flush my shit.
Hey, are you okay?
You were in there for a really long time.
Yeah. My gut is, um, not good.
I really thought that taking the money
was the right call,
but then I thought,
"Well, this morning I thought
that taking 25 was the right call,
and that would've been the wrong call.
So maybe we should hold out
for more money,"
but then I thought, "Well,
what if I was right about the 25?
And... And holding out is...
Is only gonna give them more time
to realize that...
That they made a mistake."
And so we... we sh...
We should just take it, right?
But then I thought, "Well,
it's not even really about the money.
It's about finding the right partner
to work with."
And I don't wanna work with someone
that... that offered 50
but only thinks that we're worth 25.
And that's when I had to run to the
bathroom and have explosive diarrhea.
Wow. Okay.
So anyway,
I think it's good because...
'Cause now our guts agree.
We should not take the money.
Yeah, oh, sorry.
Um, now my gut's telling me to take it.
- What?
- Yeah.
My gut is telling me
we should definitely take the money.
But just yesterday
you said that we shouldn't.
But that was yesterday.
A whole day has passed since then.
Yes, I know how days work.
What I don't understand
is how you can be so sure of something
when you believed the exact opposite
the day before.
Oh, well, yesterday I was right too.
It's only now that I realize yesterday
I was wrong, but I'm right today.
That's insane.
Maybe, but I've always led by my gut.
But what if you make the wrong call?
Oh, it can't be the wrong call.
It might not be the call
that yields the best result,
but that doesn't make it wrong.
Look, take these people for example:
Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt,
Nelson Mandela, Henry Ford.
These are leaders who listened
to their inner voice and made a call.
Then they let the chips fall
where they may.
If your gut is right 51% of the time,
that's a good gut.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
I cannot believe I am listening to a man
who thinks he belongs on the same wall
as Mother Teresa.
You don't like Mother Teresa?
What's wrong with you?
No, I'm saying that you...
Uh, you shouldn't be...
Look, Poppy, it doesn't matter
what I believe about myself.
What matters
is what you believe about yourself.
And my gut tells me that you belong
on that wall.
What does yours say?
- Hi, Jo.
- Where are you?
We... We're, uh, close.
Um, well, we're...
We got hung up in Central California.
C.W.'s currently over the
South Pacific Ocean and closing in fast.
- How do you know that?
- I'm tracking him.
He set up an app...
I don't have to explain myself.
Explain yourselves!
We got pulled over.
You're getting a speeding ticket?
We were.
But then Rachel got into it with the cop.
I was ju... I... I
spoke a little truth to...
Truth to power.
And now he's running our plates.
Give me to him.
- I'm sorry?
- Hand him the phone.
O... Officer? Excuse me.
Yeah.
Our friend wants to talk to you
for a second.
Hello?
Seems weird.
- Sorry. I...
- He has a gun.
I know he has a gun.
And I just thought I was being helpful,
'cause he was being a little rude.
And now I'm realizing
that was very ill-advised.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm just very sorry.
Here.
You're free to go.
That's some Illuminati shit.
Let's go.
Let's go and never talk about this again.
Hey, David, you got a minute?
Several, yeah.
I'm just walking the halls at a brisk pace
to give the appearance I'm busy.
- Pro tip.
- Thanks.
So, I was thinking about
what you were saying.
- You know, about treading water?
- Mmm. Ripples, not waves, baby.
Yeah, but the thing is,
I really do wanna make a difference.
Oh, yeah, we all do.
And hopefully, someday we will,
but until then just, uh, you know,
hokey-pokey, Carol.
Well, actually, I had an idea.
Or should I say, one came into my office,
and I hired him.
- Well, that's kind of a big move.
- No. No. Small salary.
And I'm giving an opportunity to someone
from a traditionally marginalized group.
Yeah. Okay, great.
Yeah, you managed to pokey
while still effecting change. Bravo.
Thank you.
Now I'd like to introduce you
to our newest employee.
Hello, David.
Brad? What are you doing here?
Carol hired me.
No, no. No.
I mean, I'm sorry, but…
…we cannot rehire an employee
who's been convicted for insider trading
to be our Head of Monetization.
He's not. He's our new janitor.
I'm excited to get cleaning.
Okay.
What? What's your angle?
Oh. There's no angles. I've gone straight.
Oh, please. I mean, look at your body.
You're all angles.
David, look, I've paid my dues.
I've recognized the error of my ways,
and I'm just trying to enter back
into society honestly as a reformed man.
And as a brown felon,
which is two for the price of one.
Or really, two for the price of half,
because we get a subsidy for hiring him.
- So, doing good, saving cash.
- Love a good coupon.
Look, David, I know you don't trust me.
It's gonna be a process,
but I just hope to earn your trust
one clean urinal at a time.
C.W.'s getting here any minute.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm reformed now.
So am I.
- I'm working a menial job at Mythic Quest.
- So am I.
Menial? Uh...
She's my assistant, to be clear.
- Good.
- Good.
To that I say, "Great."
I'ma put this on the website.
Wow.
It's really strange to be back
after all this time, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's kinda like, you know
when you go visit a childhood home
and you're different but it's the same?
And it just kinda feels, like, smaller.
- Yeah, it feels smaller, doesn't it?
- Yeah.
Well, well, well.
David, it is nice to see you.
Is it?
MQ's doing well
and probably stings a little bit.
I know you guys didn't think
I could do it.
No... No, no, we...
I mean, we literally
haven't said your name in a year.
- Oh.
- Yeah. In fact, when I think about you,
- all I feel is...
- Jealousy?
- No.
- Rage?
- No.
- Sad?
- No.
- Wistful?
- Mmm. Apathy? Yeah.
- I'm... Yeah, apathy.
So, I guess you can't really feel apathy.
- It's sort of a lack of feeling.
- Ditto.
You know, I don't feel that way...
Or not feel that way… either.
And frankly,
you guys would just drag us down.
The way we are running right now…
…you wouldn't recognize the place.
Oh, we got a new staff.
We got a whole new culture.
You know, i-it's...
It's completely different.
- Hey, guys. Nice to see you again.
- Oh. Hey, Brad. You out of prison?
- Yeah. Working here again.
- Oh.
- Looks the same to me.
- Okay, yeah.
You guys have it all figured out,
don't you?
You're the cool, sexy mavericks
who are changing the world.
Kind of. I'll have you know that we
just took a $50 million investment.
And shoved it up their asses.
Now that's a little confusing.
We took a $25 million offer that we had
and we shoved that up their asses,
- but $50 million is what we actually took.
- No. I turned the 50 million down.
- You turned down $50 million?
- Actually, I turned down $60 million,
which is what they countered with
after I passed.
You would've loved it.
I told them to "suck my duck,"
which obviously isn't what I meant,
but autocorrect boned me.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Even after we discussed...
- We said we weren't gonna take it.
No. We said we were gonna take it,
because...
- My gut said "turn it down". My gut…
- But your gut fucking sucks.
Seems like you two
have it all figured out.
- I said tomorrow, my gut…
- All right, look.
There are no lines in the office, David.
- We're here!
- We made it! We're here.
Oh, hooray. Why don't you sit down?
He's almost here.
Hi, everybody. Long time no see.
- Who are you?
- That's funny.
Are you serious?
- Hey, I'm Ian Grimm.
- I know.
- This is my girlfriend, Rachel.
- Oh, hey, Dana.
- Hey. How's it going?
- You've gotta be kidding me.
Everyone, shut up. Shut up.
I have strict instructions from C.W.
that at exactly 8:15,
I am to deliver this letter to David.
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh. Okay.
In 20 more seconds.
Seriously?
- He was very precise.
- Well… Okay.
- David, I have a question.
- You don't have to raise your hand.
- Uh, where's C.W.?
- I don't know where he is.
- He's not showing up for his own party?
- I don't know.
Does he think we're just gonna sit here
and wait for him?
She called my name, I came up.
That's all I know.
We don't have time for this.
We should just go, right?
- Yeah. Let's just go.
- I'm gonna go too.
- We didn't wanna come in the first place.
- Three, two, one. Read.
He's not even showing up
to his own party? I mean, this is bizarre.
"If you're hearing these words,
I am already dead."
Wait, what?
"That's right.
Dead as Dillinger, daddy-o."
Come on.
I don't know. I'm just reading it.
Well, keep going.
"Some time ago I was given
a rather unfortunate prognosis,
and I decided to script the conclusion
of my own story.
In a moment,
I shall climb into a Ford Thunderbird
and drive off into the Grand Canyon,
"knowing I ended my story like no other.
A true original."
That's the end of Thelma and Louise.
"My remains will be retrieved,
placed into a satellite,
and launched into space.
Josephine has unwittingly been tracking
my celestial path across the globe,
and soon I will be directly above you
in the night sky."
Wait. Wait, wait a second.
This is bullshit.
He's in a satellite, David?
Again, I am just reading the piece
of paper that was just handed to me.
- But this is fucking nuts.
- This is crazy.
- He didn't actually do this, right?
- It's C.W. Who knows?
- Is he actually dead?
- Yeah, David, is... is he really dead?
I don't know.
I am experiencing this with you
at the same time.
- Well, is there more?
- Let's find out together, shall we?
"I do apologize
for keeping you in the dark,
but like any great story,
mine had to be unexpected and inevitable
at the same time.
I stole that line
from a writer I once knew.
I stole a lot of things.
But worse than that, I let my hubris
convince me that I didn't need friends.
That success was the only thing
that mattered.
That I was better off alone.
I was wrong.
And if I had to do it all over again,
I wouldn't change a thing.
Because that mistake led me to you,
my MQ family.
You gave me a second chance,
and the friendship I had with you has been
the greatest success of my life.
Do not weep for me,
for I go to my rest as so few men do.
Content.
So, if I may, one final word of advice.
Hold onto each other
for as long as you can…
"'cause that's all there is."
It's time. We're supposed to look up now.
There!
You know what that old bitch said?
He actually had the temerity to say
that leaving copies of Swank
all over his desk
was his First Amendment right.
Gross.
And weird.
What does C.W. call this drink again?
It's called a Rutger Hauer.
It's all about getting the right
coffee-to-cough-syrup ratio.
- Cough syrup?
- Mm-hmm.
Maybe that's why he was always drunk,
wired, and never sick.
Crazy old bitch.
Anybody want some more?
- Mmm, no.
- Uh-uh.
It's getting kinda late.
Yeah. We should probably head back
to our place.
- You're calling it?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Weird day.
Well… …goodbye, again.
You know, it was actually
kinda nice seeing you again.
Yeah, it was.
Maybe, uh, maybe we do it more often?
Yeah, yeah. Maybe we will.
Bye.