My Three Sons (1960–1972): Season 2, Episode 34 - Good Influence - full transcript

Newspaper.

"Amaryllis"?

I thought all along it was pink.

Where's the screwdriver?

Well, should be here.

Well, the first time one
of those kids puts a thing

back in its place, you
can carry me out feetfirst.

What an interesting place.

You have to go way out to
the garage to find a screwdriver.

It should be right
on top of the piano.

Who took my newspaper?



What's going on around here?

A guy can't even turn
his back in this house.

Now, I left my
screwdriver right there.

Now where is it?

This house is full of pack rats.

Did you lose something, Bub?

Did you take my screwdriver?

Huh-uh. Hey, do you know

if there are any more
newspapers or magazines?

So you're the newspaper thief.

Our class is having
a salvage drive.

We're gonna give
the school something

to remember our class by.

How am I supposed to
open these stupid paint cans,



with my teeth?

Maybe a birdbath?

What?!

There's a spot between Home
Economics and Industrial Arts

that our class is
gonna put a birdbath.

That's why we're collecting

all the papers and junk.

Oh, swell, swell, swell, yeah.

You know, a guy could get

to be a millionaire
just selling junk.

Well, it'll be nice to have a
millionaire around the house.

Hey, what color are you
gonna paint the chair?

Amaryllis and Matador.

No kidding?

And no kidding.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

You playing one
of your goofy games

or are you hiding from somebody?

That clunky Freddy Selby's
hanging around again.

Oh. Bub maybe there's some

more newspapers
out in the garage.

Can I paint?

Not today.

Hey, it's dripping
down all over the paper.

Now why don't you go
out and play someplace?

Because I don't want that
clunky Freddy Selby to see me.

Boy, what a mess!

Since when have you
become an art critic?

Bub, here's the screwdriver.

I found it laying
out in the driveway.

Hey, Chip, that kid's still
hanging around out there.

He says he's waiting for you.

Tell him I'm not here.

I couldn't do that!

He already saw you come in.

Now, Chip, why do you just
leave that boy stand out there?

Go out and see what he wants.

I know what he wants.

What?

Nothing.

Why don't you like him?

'Cause he's a clunk.

And I think he's chicken, too.

Now there's a new one
for you: a clunky chicken.

Why does he always
got to hang around here?

Why doesn't he go
pester somebody else?

Chip?

Now you go on out
there and play with him.

Jeepers, Bub, do I have to?

Yes. And be sure
you're nice to him.

Okay, I'll do it, but
I'm not gonna enjoy it.

These doggone kids.

Hi.

Hi. Can you play?

I guess so.

What do you want to do?

I don't care. Anything
you want to do.

I don't care.

You want to pitch bottle
caps over at my house?

I don't care.

More milk, Chip?

Yes, please.

I hope this won't spoil
your appetite for dinner.

No, ma'am.

Freddy, you haven't touched
your milk and cookies.

I'm not hungry.

Well, you can't be like
Chip unless you eat.

To hear Freddy talk,

there's nobody
in school but you.

What were you boys
up to this afternoon?

Oh, we just messed around.

You didn't go out
of the neighborhood

on your bicycles, did you?

I was reading

about two boys just your age...

Why don't you show
Chip your room?

You want to see my room?

No, I better get going
or Bub will get sore.

Thanks for the milk and cookies.

Hey, you better take a few more

for emergency rations, huh?

Oh, thanks.

Good-bye, Chip. Come again.

Okay.

Darling, see your
guest to the door.

Chip's a nice boy.

Yes.

I wish he and Freddy
would play here

at home, though,

instead of wandering off
goodness knows where.

Oh, now, Claire, you've
simply got to let Freddy

have a life of his own.

Say, you got your
gear all packed

for Crooked Lake, son?

Yeah, but I wish
we didn't have to go.

Freddy, dear, we planned
the week just for you.

Crooked, Crooked
Lake's a wonderful spot.

You'll have a lot of fun.

I'd rather stay home
and play with Chip.

Well, for a young
fellow who didn't want

to go out at all, you
stayed quite a while.

Hey, you finished the chair.

Yes, and it's still
fresh so don't touch it.

Wipe your finger.

Pick up that paper
and set the table

and put out an extra plate.

Who's here?

Oh, Ann or Mildred or Mabel,

or what's that girlfriend
of Mike's name?

Amy?

That's her name.

I never can think of it.

Now set the table.

Hi. What's for dinner?

Hi. A little surprise.

Oh, smells delicious,
like wet enamel.

Well, thank you.

Oh, you painted the chair, huh?

Yeah. Now don't
touch it. It's still fresh.

Here, wipe your finger.

They do make paints
that dry pretty quickly

these days, you know?

Yes, but this doesn't
happen to be one of them.

Dad, we ought to take some more
magazines and newspapers. Oh?

I was really embarrassed to
see how many other families take.

Is that so?

Well, it's nice

to see Robbie taking
interest in current events.

Current events?

He's a junk dealer.

The trouble with
you, Mike Douglas,

is you're too narrow-minded.

You're afraid to get
down to fundamentals.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hello, Mr. Douglas.

Hello, Amy, Mike.

Uh, something came
up in psychology class

that Amy and I don't
quite see eye to eye on.

Let's leave it
up to your father.

Okay.

What is talent, Mr. Douglas?

I says it's something
a man is born with.

And I say it's acquired.

What do you think?

Well, uh, there's one
talent that I've acquired.

That's for sidestepping
philosophical arguments,

particularly on an
empty stomach.

Well, look at
Mozart, look at Keats,

look at Raphael.

Okay, I'll give you a
few child prodigies, but...

Hey, I'm thirsty. You
want to get a drink?

Well, it's not just children.

Sometimes a man
lives almost his whole life

before his talent emerges.

It was there all along but
without any formal training,

it suddenly appears.

Well, like for instance?

Well... Well, look, Mike,

talent is a natural gift.

It can't be acquired.

Either you have it or you don't.

Hi, Mike. Hi, Ida.

Amy! Hello.

Oh. Oh, hello, Amy.

I never can think of your name.

Hey, Robbie, bring
in another chair

from the dining room, will ya?

This one's still wet.

Don't touch it!

I told you it was still wet.

Ow!

Who did this?

Oh, I didn't know
I left that there.

I didn't know you
painted, Mr. O'Casey.

Well, yeah, whenever
I get a chance,

I like to kinda mess around

with the brushes on
those chairs and things,

but you're interrupted
so often around here.

Look at this, Mike.

Do you know
Pollock, Mr. O'Casey?

Pollock?

Well, now let me see.

I knew a Mervin Pollock.

He was a barber in Quincy, Mass.

He cut my hair
once way up to here.

You've arrived at a technique

that's very reminiscent
of early Pollock.

But there's a freshness
and vitality there

that's all your own.

Wow, thanks.

What training have
you had, Mr. O'Casey?

Training?

Well, formal education,
instruction in painting?

Oh, I just do it by ear, sorta.

You see, Mike?

Your own grandfather's a
perfect example of natural talent.

Well, yeah, but...

Bub, isn't that one of the
papers that you had under...?

Answer the phone,
Robbie. Answer the phone.

Why, I expect that
there are a lot of people

that paint just as well as I do.

Hello?

This is Mr. Selby,
Freddy's father.

Is your dad home? Yes, sir.

May I speak with him, please?

Yes, sir, hang on a minute.

Dad, telephone!

It's Mr. Selby!

Oh, no.

Don't answer it!

He's the father of that
clunky Freddy Selby!

Don't talk to him!

Well, of course
I'll talk to him.

And stop shouting.

Hello.

Uh, Bub, why don't
you tell Amy how

you happened to
create this masterpiece?

Well, it-it was
sort of accidental.

It doesn't surprise me.

It doesn't?

Some of the finest
artwork being done today is

the result of so-called chance
or haphazard techniques.

Yeah?

With your permission,
Mr. O'Casey,

I'd like to take this
and show it to my uncle.

He runs the Gallery Moderne.

You mean you want to
take this to an art gallery?

Well, it's very nice of
you to ask him, Mr. Selby.

A whole week at Crooked Lake...

I'm sure Chip would love it.

No, I won't go!

Well, you see, Chip would
be doing us a big favor.

Freddy's a little
slow to make friends,

and I don't think he'd
enjoy being up there

with just Claire and me.

Come and get it!

Uh, I'll tell you, Mr. Selby.

We're just sitting
down to dinner.

Uh, why don't I call you
back in about an hour, huh?

Fine.

Why don't you want to go, Chip?

Well, we got a whole
week out of school.

Why do I have to spend my time
with that clunky Freddy Selby?

Tell me something. Uh, does
Freddy have many friends?

Heck no. Who wants to
play with a chicken clunk?

Well, don't you think
it would be kinda nice

if somebody did play with him?

Lots of people play
with him... all girls.

Chip, this has never
happened to you because,

well, you've got your
brothers, Mike and Rob.

But a lot of little
boys don't have

any brothers or sisters,

and so they get very lonely.

Or maybe they're, uh,
maybe they're self-conscious

and they can't always
quite say the right things.

Or maybe they don't
wear the same clothes

that the rest of the gang wears.

Uh...

Freddy sounds a little bit
like that to me, is that right?

Yeah, but why do I have
to get stuck with him?

You don't, Chip.

I don't?

No, no, I was just saying
it might be a nice thing

for you to do to, well, share
some of your time with him.

Of course, I won't force you to.

Okay, I won't go.

When I say "Come and get it,"

I don't mean for everybody
to stay up there and gab!

Let's go and eat, hmm?

Dad?

Yes, Chip?

Did you call Mr. Selby?

Oh, uh, I almost forgot.

I'll go and tell him
you can't make it.

Dad?

Tell him it's okay.

What's okay, Chip?

I'll go up there with Freddy.

Oh, that's fine.

You're sure you want to?

Yeah. I got to thinking
how awful it'd be

to be a chicken clunk, so
I kind of felt sorry for him.

You're growing up, Chipper.

How come? Well, one
of the hardest things

to do in this world

is to put yourself in
someone else's place.

I'll call Mr. Selby.

Now, Chip, remember
what I told you...

Behave yourself
while you're up there.

Okay, Bub. Be a good boy.

Well, all set? Yes, sir.

His father said to thank you

and that he's sorry he
had to go to work so early.

That's quite all right.

Hey, boy, that's heavy. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll bet it is. I'll put
it right in the back here.

Now, uh, I think
he's got everything.

We'll manage. See you,
Chip. In you go, Chip.

Now, Chip, remember,
be a good boy.

And don't forget
to brush your teeth.

Okay. Don't forget
to feed my lizard.

Now, what on earth
am I gonna feed a lizard?

It's okay, Bub... there's a big
bottle of flies in the refrigerator.

Bye. Bye.

Well, maybe now we can have
some peace and quiet around here.

Yeah.

Say, how come that
suitcase of his was so heavy?

Oh...

He took most of his
rock collection with him.

Darn kid. Roc...
Rock collection.

Mr. O'Casey, guess what!

We took your
painting to the gallery,

and we showed it to
my uncle. You did?!

Mike, tell him what
Uncle Theo said.

Well, he said the thing has
"marvelous unpredictability."

Not only that, he thinks he
has a buyer who will flip for it,

and he wants to see some more
of your work as soon as possible.

No kidding! No kidding.

He looks mean.

He won't hurt you.

Chip, do you think there
are a lot of wild animals

still in the woods up here?

Boy, I sure hope so.

Did you find your things, Chip?

Yes, ma'am. Well, good.

There.

Good night, dear.

And if you should
have a bad dream,

just remember that Mama
is right in the next room.

Do you have to
turn out the light?

Yes, dear.

Now, I know it's
not easy for you.

But look at Chip.

Now, surely you can
be just as brave as he is.

I guess so.

Good night, now, boys.

Sleep well.

Chip? Hmm?

You hear that? Mmm.

I think there's
something trying to get in.

Hmm.

I wish we had a light on.

Hmm.

I feel like there's something
in this room with us, watching.

Good night, Chip.

Now, I want you two to bring
back the limit, okay? Okay.

Do you think it's safe for
them to go out by themselves?

Oh, they won't be going far.

Come on, Freddy, we
can take turns rowing.

Now, just be careful when
you change over, okay?

Darling, be careful!

Oh, he's okay. Aren't you, son?

No! I don't want
to go on the boat!

Well, why?

I just don't want to!

Well, you must have a reason.

If he doesn't want
to, he doesn't have to.

Well, but Chip would
be disappointed.

Look, I'll tell you what,
I'll go with you boys, okay?

I don't want to
go out in the boat!

Why can't they fish
here, from the shore?

You'd just as soon do
that, wouldn't you, Chip?

Sure.

Get lost, Robbie.

Don't you know artists
can't stand to be watched?

Grapes.

Don't touch those grapes!

They're part of my still life.

Part of your what?

Still life.

You mean those are grapes?

I thought they were
purple marbles!

How about you hitting the sack?

Let me know when you're
finished with the picture, Bub.

How come?

Well, uh, so I can
eat the grapes.

Well, I hope I'm
not in your way.

Well, I had to shave, Bub,

and you're using every
mirror in the house.

Well, how else is a guy
supposed to do a self-portrait?

How come you're giving
yourself so much hair?

I paint it as I see it.

Which are the ones I'm
supposed to take to Amy?

That pile right over there.

You painted all
these since Monday?

Sure.

If I didn't have to cook,

I could knock off
20 of these a day.

It's too bad you're not
selling 'em by the pound.

Hi. Hi, Dad.

Hi.

Oh, uh, anything for me?

No. Got a card here
from Chip, though.

"Dear Dad and Bub and
Mike and Robbie and Tramp..."

Well, that ought to take
up about the whole card.

"I caught a fish.

"Freddy caught a cold.

"Mr. Selby took a picture of it.

Your son, Chip."

Well, he's no Robert Louis
Stevenson, but he lets you...

at least we know
he's alive. Uh..

What is that, Bub?

That's me.

That is, it started
out to be me.

But do you know something?

I think I'll make
it a watermelon.

That's funny.

Now it looks more like me.

Good.

Okay, Freddy, let's
get a shot of you.

Go ahead, son.

Can't we drive to
Hazy Summit in the car?

We agreed that you and
Chip would go on horseback.

I don't want to.

All right.

Claire, you and
Freddy go in the car.

Chip and I'll ride.

All set, Chip?

Yep. Let's go.

There we go.

All I'm saying is,
Freddy was hurt

to see you and Chip
go riding off together.

It was his choice, Claire.

And I didn't want to see
Chip disappointed again.

He came up here to
do things, to have fun.

He came here to
keep Freddy company.

And I think it's a mistake to
allow him to take chances.

After all, he's just a boy.

That's right, Chip's a boy,

and he acts on impulse
like a boy should.

Caution's not such a bad thing.

Too much of it can...

can smother the life
out of a boy, Claire.

Now, just for once, I'd like to see
Freddy do something on impulse

and worry about the
consequences later.

You mean he didn't
want any of 'em?

I'm sorry, Mr. O'Casey,
but my uncle felt

that these were all too
stiff and self-conscious.

Oh, he did, huh?

Well, they lack the
wonderful spontaneous quality

of the first painting I saw.

You should've quit while
you were ahead, Bub.

Hey, you guys, did you
see this postcard from Chip?

No. What does he say?

Let's see, uh, "Dear everybody,

"I learned how to...
identify poison ivy,

but I don't itch much anymore."

Come on, Freddy.

I don't want to.

Boy, Freddy, you don't
want to do anything.

I wish I hadn't come
up here with you.

I'm not stopping you! Go
ahead, you big show-off!

Who's a show-off? You are!

Always showing off
in front of my dad.

You know what you are?

You're a chicken clunk!

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, yeah?! You want
to make something of it?

Hi. Hi.

Freddy!

What happened to your eye?

Chip hit me.

Fred... Chip? But do you
hear what he's saying?

Well, Chip must have
had a good reason.

Chip called me a chicken
clunk, and he hit me.

Oh, this is terrible.

Why would he say such a thing?

Come on, Freddy, hurry up.

Hey, Chip! Come in here.

We're going turtle hunting, Dad.

You are?

You mean you're
not angry with Chip?

Not anymore.

Do you want me, Mr. Selby?

Well, it's good to see
you. You have a good time?

Yeah, boy, it was swell. You
bring some fish back with you?

Hey, you got a shiner...
Where'd you get that?

Oh, Freddy and me
had a real neat fight.

And his dad even let
me steer the car a little bit.

And Freddy caught a
great big blue butterfly.

And his father said that kind

wasn't even "indignant"
to around here.

Wasn't "indignant"
to around here? Well.

Where's Bub?

Bub? I don't know.
I haven't seen him

in a couple of
hours. Where is he?

Oh, he's in the
studio. In the studio?

Yeah, that's the garage.

He says when he
sells his first painting,

he's gonna move
up in the attic. Oh!

Well, come on, he'll
want to see you, Chipper.

Let's go out and let him
know you're home. Okay.

Bub! Chip's home! Yeah?

Hi! Hello, Chipper! Hi, Bub!

How are you? Gosh, am
I glad to see you home!

You look great! Looks like
he's grown a little, doesn't he?

He does look like he's
grown a little. Have you?

Yeah...

Hey, Bub, uh, you're dripping all
over the place here, aren't you?

Yeah, that's the way I want it.

You do? Yes.

Every great artist has
a technique of his own,

and I've got mine.

Let me show you something.

What do you think of this one?