My Three Sons (1960–1972): Season 1, Episode 11 - Spring Will Be a Little Late - full transcript
Robbie is overwhelmed when his mechanic friend, "Pig", puts on a dress and perfume and becomes the lovely Peggy.
(theme song plays)
(barks)
Hey, Robbie, company's here.
Pig?
Is that really you?
It's not bad enough
you're an hour late.
You show up looking
like a window display.
You don't like it?
Well, what's it supposed to be?
It's a dress, ratchet-head.
Well, I worked out
that much by myself.
How come's what I want to know.
Does a girl need a
reason to wear a dress?
When she's dropping over
to help a fella grind
a set of valves?
I-I needn't have
come at all, you know.
That's right.
Th-There's plenty of
other places I could go;
l-lots of better ways to
spend my afternoons.
Nobody hired you.
Here.
As long as I brought this,
you might as well have it.
Yeah? Yeah.
Go on, take it.
It's not poisoned.
It's a milled ignition cam.
Isn't it beautiful?
Beautiful? It's the most
gorgeous thing I've ever seen.
It must have cost you
two weeks' allowance.
Pig, I'll pay you back, honest.
You do and I'll never speak
to you again, Robbie Douglas.
(sniffing)
Something sure
smells kind of funny.
Oh, um... tha-that's me.
It's called "Passionelle."
Beats carbon monoxide, I guess.
Sure is strong.
Aren't you going to try it out?
Huh?
Oh, uh, I'll get
the distributor.
There's some ignition
wire on the wall.
Want to get it? Okay.
That, uh... what'd you call it?
Uh, Passionelle?
Kind of stays with you.
Like onions.
(screams)
(gasps)
(Pig gasping)
L-Look what you've done
with your, your greasy paws!
My new dress... ruined!
I was just trying to save you.
Save me?!
You nearly broke my
neck, you... you clumsy ape.
Pig!
Don't you ever call me that...
awful name again,
Robbie Douglas!
(sobbing)
I'd just as soon we
never even spoke.
What's the matter with her?
(sniffing)
Must be that perfume.
♪ You'll be my
hob-a-looka-lop-er-op-ah ♪
♪ Friend in the spring ♪
♪ I'll be your flop-a-looka... ♪
Okay, Chief Hole
in the Head, ante up.
Jeepers, Bub, I don't see
why we always have
to wash our hands.
They just get dirty again.
Why do you always have to eat?
We just get hungry again.
Line forms to the
left, young man.
I thought, in this country,
a guy was innocent
until proven guilty.
This is a miracle.
Clean hands without
me telling him.
What do you want?
They should be clean.
He's been in the
bathroom for nearly an hour.
An hour?!
Now, Robbie...
Well, you'd think it was a new
world's record or something.
Well, isn't it?
Well, holy Toledo.
Why's everybody making
such a big deal about it?
I went in there to think.
It's the only
place in this house
a guy can get any privacy.
Well, if you can get
any privacy in there,
you're luckier than I am.
(dishes clanking)
Ah, you're going to
make me fat yet, Bub.
(chuckles)
It was a wonderful dinner, Bub.
No dessert for me, thanks.
What's the matter
with your food, Robbie?
Everything tastes
like cardboard.
Cardboard? What do you m...?
I, uh, I've been wondering,
Robbie, uh, what's the matter?
Aren't you feeling well?
I feel okay, Dad.
But that's your favorite dinner.
Why haven't you eaten it?
I know why.
Everybody else falls
in love in the spring,
but not our little Robbie.
He's got to fall in the fall.
(all chuckling)
Well... Very funny.
So, uh, that's why you're
all slicked up, huh?
Once, just once in his life,
a guy comes to the
table with his hair combed,
and right away
there's got to be a girl.
Come to think about
it, there was a girl.
Cute little doll, too.
She dropped around this
afternoon to see Robbie.
You don't suppose...
Well, what do you know?
That's what I mean!
No privacy!
Everybody knows
everybody else's business.
Well, if you ask me, it stinks.
I'll make a deal with you.
I'll cut my throat
if you'll cut yours.
I'll tell you what.
If I'm not back in ten minutes,
you go ahead without me.
Robbie.
Robbie, you in there?
(doorknob rattling)
I'd like to talk to you.
Nothing to talk about.
Robbie, about downstairs,
uh, we didn't mean anything...
I just want to be left alone.
Putting yourself in solitary
isn't going to solve
anything, Rob.
You know, that's why
families were invented...
So a guy can divvy
up his problems.
Who says I've got a problem?
This, uh... this girl
Bub mentioned...
She's got nothing to do with it.
Robbie, it's a little difficult
trying to carry on a
conversation through a door.
Who'd have thought a
person could change so much?
What?
Pig could do more
with a bent cotter pin
than most characters could do
with a whole shop
load of equipment.
Six months without a single
beef and then she's got to spoil it.
Just 'cause I call her Pig.
Her?
Y-You mean, uh, Pig is a girl?
A girl?!
No!
Pig's not a girl.
She's... she's Pig, that's all.
Girls are... you
know... different.
Uh... what, Rob?
Girls are different.
Pig's a mechanic.
Oh.
Well, uh, Rob, mechanic
or not, I can understand
why she wouldn't
want to be called Pig.
According to Bub,
she's kind of cute.
Yeah, I guess, for a girl.
Robbie, uh, why
don't you tell her that?
Are you kidding?
She'd clobber me.
I wouldn't say that was
too high a price to pay
for the services of
a good mechanic.
Would you?
Yeah, well, it's not my
fault what happened.
How would you like it if you
were sweating over an engine
and your mechanic
came waltzing in
wearing a fancy dress
and soaked with perfume?
Wouldn't that let the
air out of your tires?
(phone rings)
Yeah, I guess it might, Rob.
BUB (over phone):
I got it. Yeah.
BUB: Robbie, it's for you. Okay.
BUB: A Miss Peggy Meredith.
Tell her I'm not
here; I've left town.
Peggy Meredith?
That wouldn't by any
chance be our mechanic?
Robert.
Come on, it's not polite
to keep a lady waiting.
Yeah, well, when I'm a parent,
you can bet I won't do
a son of mine like this.
Hello, Pig.
(click)
She hung up on me.
Is everything all settled?
(door slams)
I've always said there's nothing
like a good heart-to-heart talk
between father and son
to clear the troubled air.
What's eating him?
Bub, don't you remember
how it was when you were 15?
Are you kidding?
I don't even remember
how it was when I was 50.
(rock clunks)
(clunk)
You still awake, too?
Mm.
Got a bellyache?
Something like that.
Maybe it was Bub's dinner.
I didn't eat anything.
Oh.
Wouldn't be any
trouble getting to sleep
if we could figure out a way
of turning off that darn ol' moon.
Yeah.
That would be some
neat trick, wouldn't it?
Okay, Gordy, over here.
Hey, hey! Not so fast!
Now, that makes six
men on your team.
I've only got five.
Hey, there's Pig!
What about her? Come on, Pig.
Come on! (boys clamoring)
Come on, Pig! No!
BOY: No? Who asked you?
I need another man.
Well, I don't play with girls.
Since when?
Well, since now.
Girls got no place
in a sport like football.
But she's different, Robbie.
Ain't a guy in school
can center a ball
no straighter than she can.
(boys agreeing)
ROBBIE: Then let her
go sign with the Packers.
I don't play with girls.
Look... friend...
you don't play with girls,
but I don't play
five against six.
Okay, Lefty, then we'll
play six against five.
You take one of my men.
Bugsy, here, go on over.
Okay, come on, guys!
Hey, wait a minute, man.
Don't we have anything
to say about this?
What's the matter, Gordy?
You're not worried, are you?
We could give away 12 points
and still skunk the pants
off 'em with no sweat at all.
What's more, you can receive!
(loud, overlapping chatter)
Good luck, Robbie.
Okay, you guys,
the ends of the grass
are the boundaries.
We'll defend the goal
between the two trees.
(overlapping
chatter and shouting)
MAN: Watch it. He's tough.
ROBBIE: All right,
you guys, spread out.
We're gonna get this
ball off the ground.
It's gonna go clean
over to the mountain.
All right, spread out, you guys.
(boys shouting, talking)
What's the matter
with you, Gordy?
Can't you hold
that ball straight?
Can't you see the ball?
What the heck you
blaming me for?
We can play footbal with it.
Better than you.
Now hold that thing or I'm gonna
get Shep to do it. Okay, go on.
Come on, will you
hold it straight?
All right, team.
Kick it!
(shouting)
(groaning)
(shouting)
What to go, Gordy!
Our ball, first down.
Come on... The name
of the game is "Touch."
What's the matter, Lefty?
Didn't you get the
license number?
Come on, you
guys, let's huddle up.
(shouting)
BOY: That isn't
fair! That isn't fair!
Okay, here's the plan.
Okay, let's go... on three.
Okay, come on,
let's get 'em, man.
Come on, Robbie!
Our team call red and
get the quarterback.
One, two, three, four.
BOY: That isn't fair!
That isn't fair!
Come on, Robbie, pass it.
Run! Run!
Come on, Robbie!
Whoa!
Robbie, run! Quick!
Come on!
Come on! Robbie...!
Oh, come on, Robbie.
Go! Robbie, what...
Oh, come on...
That isn't fair.
That isn't fair!
That isn't fair!
(boys clamoring)
That isn't fair!
That ain't fair!
(angry shouting)
That's the way you want to play?
Well, then, I think it's time
we both took up another sport.
(smack)
BOY: That isn't fair!
(clamoring)
(fists thudding)
Robbie, come on over
here under the light.
I want to take another
look at that eye.
Put something on that cut.
Having engine trouble?
Yeah. The distributor's
got a short somewheres.
I'm trying to track it down.
I wish I could help you.
All I know about a car
you could stick in your eye.
The good one.
It's really not so compli... Ow!
(gently): I know...
It's really not so complicated.
Take this, for instance.
The cam... that's
what times your spark.
Oh?
But this isn't any ordinary cam.
This has been specially milled.
Cam like this is hard to find.
Where'd you get it?
Pig gave it to me.
Well, that was sweet of her.
Yeah.
Pig's a good Joe.
Was, anyway, before
things changed.
Rob, are you sure Peggy's
the only one who's changed?
I don't know why
things couldn't go on
just like they were.
We used to have
such a ball together.
Everything changes, Rob.
Nothing on this
earth stays the same.
Some things change very quickly.
You can... You can
actually see it happening.
And then some things change
very slowly and very subtly.
You're not really aware of it
until one day,
all of a sudden...
That's stupid!
Just plain stupid!
What? No wonder
I'm all balled up.
I got these two wires
crossed right over each other.
Oh.
Yeah, I'd say you had
your wires crossed, all right.
Boy, you said it.
Like that darn football game.
Here I am, fighting with Lefty
like he was an
enemy or something,
and we been best buddies
since the seventh grade.
Darn Mike, always
asking me to act my age.
Well, how am I supposed
to know what to do?
I wish I knew the magic word.
Oh, me, too.
But there are some things
a father can't
help his son with.
Some things you have to
suffer through on your own.
Do you mean, like
going to the dentist?
Yeah.
BUB: Chow time!
Come and get it!
You go on, Dad.
I'm not hungry.
You know, I, uh...
I think you owe Peggy something.
Oh, I'll pay her back.
No, I don't mean for that cam.
I mean, for all the good
times you've shared.
Well, what about lately?
Suppose I told you
Peggy had a problem, too,
and needed your help?
You know, Robbie,
uh... girls are...
Well, they're pretty
complicated mechanisms, too.
And this change you've
noticed in Peggy...
That-that happens
to all of them.
Girls are, uh...
Well, they're sort
of like caterpillars.
They-They go through
a cocoon stage,
and then they finally
emerge as beautiful butterflies.
Yeah, well, I liked her
better as a caterpillar.
Well, maybe so.
But right now,
Peggy isn't either one.
She's not a caterpillar
or a butterfly.
She's... Well, she's
sort of in between.
She's... Well, she's just a
crazy, mixed-up chrysalis.
That's what she is.
BUB: It's not
getting any warmer!
In a minute, Bub!
Robbie, why don't you,
uh, do Peggy a favor
like you'd do for an old friend.
Got to be little
enough to sacrifice
when you consider all the hours
she's invested in your engine.
What's little enough?
What if you ask her for a date?
A date?! Sure.
Call for her, take
her to a movie,
and maybe after the movie,
treat her to a malt
and a hamburger,
and then, when you
take her to her door,
to cap off the whole
evening, maybe, uh...
kiss her good night.
Kiss her good night?!
Dad, if this ever got around,
I'd never be able to show
my face at school again!
Life's a gamble, Rob.
That's a risk
you'll have to take.
Yeah, but maybe
she won't want to.
You don't know Pig.
She just might haul
off and belt me one.
Well, you still got
one good eye left.
Boy, if she ever
snitches on me...
BUB: If you don't come
now, I'm bundling it up
and shipping it to Europe!
Right away, Bub.
Well, come on, Rob.
You better hold a
piece of ice on that eye
while you eat, huh?
A day at a time, Rob.
That's the way we all live.
A day at a time.
(crickets chirping)
ROBBIE: What a movie!
How about that guy, giving
up his kingdom for a woman!
PEGGY: Oh, I-I thought
it was very romantic.
Yeah, I guess if someone
likes someone enough...
Well, you know what I mean.
Sure.
What I dug... He
wasn't a pantywaist.
Any guy who can run around
wearing silk stockings
and all that lace
and with a braid in his hair,
and still take on ten guys
at a throw has got
my vote any time.
Well, you didn't
do so badly yourself
at the football
game the other day.
Oh, that.
I would've done better,
except Lefty got
in the first punch.
Boy, that guy's got two
rocks in the end of his arms!
Uh... want to sit a while?
I hadn't better.
It's getting kinda late.
Oh. Sure.
Your folks don't
worry about the time?
Oh, no, not when I told
them who I was going out with.
Dad was kind of, you know,
but Mom said that
he wasn't to worry;
that you were a
perfect gentleman.
No fooling! She said that?
You know something?
I wouldn't tell this
to another guy...
but to tell the truth...
this is the first real
date I've ever had...
With a girl, I mean.
You'd never believe it.
It's true!
You, too?
You know something else?
That perfume, Passionelle,
it's really not too bad.
Matter of fact, it
kind of grows on you.
(door slams inside)
Well... Yeah.
You didn't tell me... How's
the distributor working?
Oh, not so hot.
But the cam's fine.
The cam's just swell.
But I got a short somewhere.
Sure it's in the distributor?
Did you check the coil?
The contact may be bad.
I never thought of that!
Pig, you're a flip!
Oh, I didn't mean that.
Honest, I didn't.
Don't be sore.
Please, don't be sore... Peggy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Because... Ow!
Robby, are you all right?!
(thunder rumbling)
It looks like we're
in for a little storm.
We're gonna have a big storm
if that kid doesn't
get home pretty soon.
He may be going
through a little rough
weather right now.
Dating a girl at his
age... It's ridiculous.
Well...
Bub, next time I offer
one of the boys advice,
remind me not to, will you?
(door opens)
I don't know, Bub.
I, uh, I might have left it
in the dining room here.
Oh, hi, Rob. I didn't
hear you come in.
Have a good time?
Eh.
What's wrong?
I think maybe I
got a chipped tooth.
How'd you do that?
Not me, Peggy.
You mean, she did belt you?
Are you kidding?!
(giggles)
BUB (softly): Steve...
what's the forecast?
Oh, uh, spring fever
till around Christmas,
with possible drop in
temperatures after New Year's.
Occasional scattered storms
moving in a feminine direction.
No sign of frost.
(barks)
Hey, Robbie, company's here.
Pig?
Is that really you?
It's not bad enough
you're an hour late.
You show up looking
like a window display.
You don't like it?
Well, what's it supposed to be?
It's a dress, ratchet-head.
Well, I worked out
that much by myself.
How come's what I want to know.
Does a girl need a
reason to wear a dress?
When she's dropping over
to help a fella grind
a set of valves?
I-I needn't have
come at all, you know.
That's right.
Th-There's plenty of
other places I could go;
l-lots of better ways to
spend my afternoons.
Nobody hired you.
Here.
As long as I brought this,
you might as well have it.
Yeah? Yeah.
Go on, take it.
It's not poisoned.
It's a milled ignition cam.
Isn't it beautiful?
Beautiful? It's the most
gorgeous thing I've ever seen.
It must have cost you
two weeks' allowance.
Pig, I'll pay you back, honest.
You do and I'll never speak
to you again, Robbie Douglas.
(sniffing)
Something sure
smells kind of funny.
Oh, um... tha-that's me.
It's called "Passionelle."
Beats carbon monoxide, I guess.
Sure is strong.
Aren't you going to try it out?
Huh?
Oh, uh, I'll get
the distributor.
There's some ignition
wire on the wall.
Want to get it? Okay.
That, uh... what'd you call it?
Uh, Passionelle?
Kind of stays with you.
Like onions.
(screams)
(gasps)
(Pig gasping)
L-Look what you've done
with your, your greasy paws!
My new dress... ruined!
I was just trying to save you.
Save me?!
You nearly broke my
neck, you... you clumsy ape.
Pig!
Don't you ever call me that...
awful name again,
Robbie Douglas!
(sobbing)
I'd just as soon we
never even spoke.
What's the matter with her?
(sniffing)
Must be that perfume.
♪ You'll be my
hob-a-looka-lop-er-op-ah ♪
♪ Friend in the spring ♪
♪ I'll be your flop-a-looka... ♪
Okay, Chief Hole
in the Head, ante up.
Jeepers, Bub, I don't see
why we always have
to wash our hands.
They just get dirty again.
Why do you always have to eat?
We just get hungry again.
Line forms to the
left, young man.
I thought, in this country,
a guy was innocent
until proven guilty.
This is a miracle.
Clean hands without
me telling him.
What do you want?
They should be clean.
He's been in the
bathroom for nearly an hour.
An hour?!
Now, Robbie...
Well, you'd think it was a new
world's record or something.
Well, isn't it?
Well, holy Toledo.
Why's everybody making
such a big deal about it?
I went in there to think.
It's the only
place in this house
a guy can get any privacy.
Well, if you can get
any privacy in there,
you're luckier than I am.
(dishes clanking)
Ah, you're going to
make me fat yet, Bub.
(chuckles)
It was a wonderful dinner, Bub.
No dessert for me, thanks.
What's the matter
with your food, Robbie?
Everything tastes
like cardboard.
Cardboard? What do you m...?
I, uh, I've been wondering,
Robbie, uh, what's the matter?
Aren't you feeling well?
I feel okay, Dad.
But that's your favorite dinner.
Why haven't you eaten it?
I know why.
Everybody else falls
in love in the spring,
but not our little Robbie.
He's got to fall in the fall.
(all chuckling)
Well... Very funny.
So, uh, that's why you're
all slicked up, huh?
Once, just once in his life,
a guy comes to the
table with his hair combed,
and right away
there's got to be a girl.
Come to think about
it, there was a girl.
Cute little doll, too.
She dropped around this
afternoon to see Robbie.
You don't suppose...
Well, what do you know?
That's what I mean!
No privacy!
Everybody knows
everybody else's business.
Well, if you ask me, it stinks.
I'll make a deal with you.
I'll cut my throat
if you'll cut yours.
I'll tell you what.
If I'm not back in ten minutes,
you go ahead without me.
Robbie.
Robbie, you in there?
(doorknob rattling)
I'd like to talk to you.
Nothing to talk about.
Robbie, about downstairs,
uh, we didn't mean anything...
I just want to be left alone.
Putting yourself in solitary
isn't going to solve
anything, Rob.
You know, that's why
families were invented...
So a guy can divvy
up his problems.
Who says I've got a problem?
This, uh... this girl
Bub mentioned...
She's got nothing to do with it.
Robbie, it's a little difficult
trying to carry on a
conversation through a door.
Who'd have thought a
person could change so much?
What?
Pig could do more
with a bent cotter pin
than most characters could do
with a whole shop
load of equipment.
Six months without a single
beef and then she's got to spoil it.
Just 'cause I call her Pig.
Her?
Y-You mean, uh, Pig is a girl?
A girl?!
No!
Pig's not a girl.
She's... she's Pig, that's all.
Girls are... you
know... different.
Uh... what, Rob?
Girls are different.
Pig's a mechanic.
Oh.
Well, uh, Rob, mechanic
or not, I can understand
why she wouldn't
want to be called Pig.
According to Bub,
she's kind of cute.
Yeah, I guess, for a girl.
Robbie, uh, why
don't you tell her that?
Are you kidding?
She'd clobber me.
I wouldn't say that was
too high a price to pay
for the services of
a good mechanic.
Would you?
Yeah, well, it's not my
fault what happened.
How would you like it if you
were sweating over an engine
and your mechanic
came waltzing in
wearing a fancy dress
and soaked with perfume?
Wouldn't that let the
air out of your tires?
(phone rings)
Yeah, I guess it might, Rob.
BUB (over phone):
I got it. Yeah.
BUB: Robbie, it's for you. Okay.
BUB: A Miss Peggy Meredith.
Tell her I'm not
here; I've left town.
Peggy Meredith?
That wouldn't by any
chance be our mechanic?
Robert.
Come on, it's not polite
to keep a lady waiting.
Yeah, well, when I'm a parent,
you can bet I won't do
a son of mine like this.
Hello, Pig.
(click)
She hung up on me.
Is everything all settled?
(door slams)
I've always said there's nothing
like a good heart-to-heart talk
between father and son
to clear the troubled air.
What's eating him?
Bub, don't you remember
how it was when you were 15?
Are you kidding?
I don't even remember
how it was when I was 50.
(rock clunks)
(clunk)
You still awake, too?
Mm.
Got a bellyache?
Something like that.
Maybe it was Bub's dinner.
I didn't eat anything.
Oh.
Wouldn't be any
trouble getting to sleep
if we could figure out a way
of turning off that darn ol' moon.
Yeah.
That would be some
neat trick, wouldn't it?
Okay, Gordy, over here.
Hey, hey! Not so fast!
Now, that makes six
men on your team.
I've only got five.
Hey, there's Pig!
What about her? Come on, Pig.
Come on! (boys clamoring)
Come on, Pig! No!
BOY: No? Who asked you?
I need another man.
Well, I don't play with girls.
Since when?
Well, since now.
Girls got no place
in a sport like football.
But she's different, Robbie.
Ain't a guy in school
can center a ball
no straighter than she can.
(boys agreeing)
ROBBIE: Then let her
go sign with the Packers.
I don't play with girls.
Look... friend...
you don't play with girls,
but I don't play
five against six.
Okay, Lefty, then we'll
play six against five.
You take one of my men.
Bugsy, here, go on over.
Okay, come on, guys!
Hey, wait a minute, man.
Don't we have anything
to say about this?
What's the matter, Gordy?
You're not worried, are you?
We could give away 12 points
and still skunk the pants
off 'em with no sweat at all.
What's more, you can receive!
(loud, overlapping chatter)
Good luck, Robbie.
Okay, you guys,
the ends of the grass
are the boundaries.
We'll defend the goal
between the two trees.
(overlapping
chatter and shouting)
MAN: Watch it. He's tough.
ROBBIE: All right,
you guys, spread out.
We're gonna get this
ball off the ground.
It's gonna go clean
over to the mountain.
All right, spread out, you guys.
(boys shouting, talking)
What's the matter
with you, Gordy?
Can't you hold
that ball straight?
Can't you see the ball?
What the heck you
blaming me for?
We can play footbal with it.
Better than you.
Now hold that thing or I'm gonna
get Shep to do it. Okay, go on.
Come on, will you
hold it straight?
All right, team.
Kick it!
(shouting)
(groaning)
(shouting)
What to go, Gordy!
Our ball, first down.
Come on... The name
of the game is "Touch."
What's the matter, Lefty?
Didn't you get the
license number?
Come on, you
guys, let's huddle up.
(shouting)
BOY: That isn't
fair! That isn't fair!
Okay, here's the plan.
Okay, let's go... on three.
Okay, come on,
let's get 'em, man.
Come on, Robbie!
Our team call red and
get the quarterback.
One, two, three, four.
BOY: That isn't fair!
That isn't fair!
Come on, Robbie, pass it.
Run! Run!
Come on, Robbie!
Whoa!
Robbie, run! Quick!
Come on!
Come on! Robbie...!
Oh, come on, Robbie.
Go! Robbie, what...
Oh, come on...
That isn't fair.
That isn't fair!
That isn't fair!
(boys clamoring)
That isn't fair!
That ain't fair!
(angry shouting)
That's the way you want to play?
Well, then, I think it's time
we both took up another sport.
(smack)
BOY: That isn't fair!
(clamoring)
(fists thudding)
Robbie, come on over
here under the light.
I want to take another
look at that eye.
Put something on that cut.
Having engine trouble?
Yeah. The distributor's
got a short somewheres.
I'm trying to track it down.
I wish I could help you.
All I know about a car
you could stick in your eye.
The good one.
It's really not so compli... Ow!
(gently): I know...
It's really not so complicated.
Take this, for instance.
The cam... that's
what times your spark.
Oh?
But this isn't any ordinary cam.
This has been specially milled.
Cam like this is hard to find.
Where'd you get it?
Pig gave it to me.
Well, that was sweet of her.
Yeah.
Pig's a good Joe.
Was, anyway, before
things changed.
Rob, are you sure Peggy's
the only one who's changed?
I don't know why
things couldn't go on
just like they were.
We used to have
such a ball together.
Everything changes, Rob.
Nothing on this
earth stays the same.
Some things change very quickly.
You can... You can
actually see it happening.
And then some things change
very slowly and very subtly.
You're not really aware of it
until one day,
all of a sudden...
That's stupid!
Just plain stupid!
What? No wonder
I'm all balled up.
I got these two wires
crossed right over each other.
Oh.
Yeah, I'd say you had
your wires crossed, all right.
Boy, you said it.
Like that darn football game.
Here I am, fighting with Lefty
like he was an
enemy or something,
and we been best buddies
since the seventh grade.
Darn Mike, always
asking me to act my age.
Well, how am I supposed
to know what to do?
I wish I knew the magic word.
Oh, me, too.
But there are some things
a father can't
help his son with.
Some things you have to
suffer through on your own.
Do you mean, like
going to the dentist?
Yeah.
BUB: Chow time!
Come and get it!
You go on, Dad.
I'm not hungry.
You know, I, uh...
I think you owe Peggy something.
Oh, I'll pay her back.
No, I don't mean for that cam.
I mean, for all the good
times you've shared.
Well, what about lately?
Suppose I told you
Peggy had a problem, too,
and needed your help?
You know, Robbie,
uh... girls are...
Well, they're pretty
complicated mechanisms, too.
And this change you've
noticed in Peggy...
That-that happens
to all of them.
Girls are, uh...
Well, they're sort
of like caterpillars.
They-They go through
a cocoon stage,
and then they finally
emerge as beautiful butterflies.
Yeah, well, I liked her
better as a caterpillar.
Well, maybe so.
But right now,
Peggy isn't either one.
She's not a caterpillar
or a butterfly.
She's... Well, she's
sort of in between.
She's... Well, she's just a
crazy, mixed-up chrysalis.
That's what she is.
BUB: It's not
getting any warmer!
In a minute, Bub!
Robbie, why don't you,
uh, do Peggy a favor
like you'd do for an old friend.
Got to be little
enough to sacrifice
when you consider all the hours
she's invested in your engine.
What's little enough?
What if you ask her for a date?
A date?! Sure.
Call for her, take
her to a movie,
and maybe after the movie,
treat her to a malt
and a hamburger,
and then, when you
take her to her door,
to cap off the whole
evening, maybe, uh...
kiss her good night.
Kiss her good night?!
Dad, if this ever got around,
I'd never be able to show
my face at school again!
Life's a gamble, Rob.
That's a risk
you'll have to take.
Yeah, but maybe
she won't want to.
You don't know Pig.
She just might haul
off and belt me one.
Well, you still got
one good eye left.
Boy, if she ever
snitches on me...
BUB: If you don't come
now, I'm bundling it up
and shipping it to Europe!
Right away, Bub.
Well, come on, Rob.
You better hold a
piece of ice on that eye
while you eat, huh?
A day at a time, Rob.
That's the way we all live.
A day at a time.
(crickets chirping)
ROBBIE: What a movie!
How about that guy, giving
up his kingdom for a woman!
PEGGY: Oh, I-I thought
it was very romantic.
Yeah, I guess if someone
likes someone enough...
Well, you know what I mean.
Sure.
What I dug... He
wasn't a pantywaist.
Any guy who can run around
wearing silk stockings
and all that lace
and with a braid in his hair,
and still take on ten guys
at a throw has got
my vote any time.
Well, you didn't
do so badly yourself
at the football
game the other day.
Oh, that.
I would've done better,
except Lefty got
in the first punch.
Boy, that guy's got two
rocks in the end of his arms!
Uh... want to sit a while?
I hadn't better.
It's getting kinda late.
Oh. Sure.
Your folks don't
worry about the time?
Oh, no, not when I told
them who I was going out with.
Dad was kind of, you know,
but Mom said that
he wasn't to worry;
that you were a
perfect gentleman.
No fooling! She said that?
You know something?
I wouldn't tell this
to another guy...
but to tell the truth...
this is the first real
date I've ever had...
With a girl, I mean.
You'd never believe it.
It's true!
You, too?
You know something else?
That perfume, Passionelle,
it's really not too bad.
Matter of fact, it
kind of grows on you.
(door slams inside)
Well... Yeah.
You didn't tell me... How's
the distributor working?
Oh, not so hot.
But the cam's fine.
The cam's just swell.
But I got a short somewhere.
Sure it's in the distributor?
Did you check the coil?
The contact may be bad.
I never thought of that!
Pig, you're a flip!
Oh, I didn't mean that.
Honest, I didn't.
Don't be sore.
Please, don't be sore... Peggy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Because... Ow!
Robby, are you all right?!
(thunder rumbling)
It looks like we're
in for a little storm.
We're gonna have a big storm
if that kid doesn't
get home pretty soon.
He may be going
through a little rough
weather right now.
Dating a girl at his
age... It's ridiculous.
Well...
Bub, next time I offer
one of the boys advice,
remind me not to, will you?
(door opens)
I don't know, Bub.
I, uh, I might have left it
in the dining room here.
Oh, hi, Rob. I didn't
hear you come in.
Have a good time?
Eh.
What's wrong?
I think maybe I
got a chipped tooth.
How'd you do that?
Not me, Peggy.
You mean, she did belt you?
Are you kidding?!
(giggles)
BUB (softly): Steve...
what's the forecast?
Oh, uh, spring fever
till around Christmas,
with possible drop in
temperatures after New Year's.
Occasional scattered storms
moving in a feminine direction.
No sign of frost.