My So-Called Life (1994–1995): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Zit - full transcript

Girl: ♪ GO NOW... GO! ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ HEY ♪

LET'S GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

Angela: SO SHARON'S LIFE
WAS, LIKE, DEVELOPING

IN THIS NATURAL, HEALTHY WAY,



WHILE MY LIFE IS, LIKE...

CLOGGED.

OH, YEAH. CHERSKI AND
VINOVICH... YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

I THINK THEY MET AT THE GAME,

PROBABLY THE BIG GAME,
POSSIBLY THE BIG AWAY GAME.

SHOULD WE BE, LIKE,
ATTENDING THOSE THINGS?

PLEASE. GRIP YOURSELF.

WHAT IS A METAMORPHOSIS?

BRIAN?

WHEN SOMEONE TOTALLY CHANGES

INTO SOMETHING ELSE...

OR JUST WHEN ANYTHING...

CHANGES SHAPE.

YES. NOW THE METAMORPHOSIS
WAS WRITTEN BY...



FRANZ KAFKA.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

TO CALL SOMETHING KAFKAESQUE?

ANYONE?

WANT TO TAKE A GUESS?

UM, WHEN SOMETHING SEEMS
LIKE A TOTAL NIGHTMARE,

AND YOU CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S REALLY HAPPENING,

ONLY IT IS.

CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE
OF SOMETHING KAFKAESQUE?

SHARON CHERSKI
HAVING A BOYFRIEND...

AND NOT ME.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHAT ANYBODY SAID.

IT'S JUST I ALWAYS KNEW
WHY I WAS COMING IN HERE, OK,

BUT IF PEOPLE ARE
GOING TO TAKE IT WRONG

AND GIVE IT THIS WHOLE MEANING

I DON'T EVEN MEAN IT TO HAVE...

ASHLEY DiMARCO ASKED IF YOU
WERE GETTING A SEX CHANGE.

EXACTLY! I DON'T
WANT TO BE A GIRL.

I JUST WANT TO HANG WITH GIRLS.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE,

BUT IT'S DEFINITELY
GOTTEN OUT OF HAND.

SO GOOD-BYE, LEAKING FAUCETS.

GOOD-BYE, SOAP DISPENSER
THAT NEVER HAD SOAP IN IT.

GOOD-BYE, TOO-HOT RADIATOR.

OH, SCARECROW, I THINK
I'LL MISS YOU MOST OF ALL.

WHAT'S THIS?

OH, MY...

WHO WAS IT?

DID YOU SEE HIM?

HE GOT AWAY.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO BELIEVE THIS.

"SOPHOMORE GIRLS... THE TOP 40."

WHAT?

OK, FIRST ONE'S OBVIOUS.

"HOTTEST SOPHOMORE
BABE... CASEY HALL."

CASEY HALL IS, LIKE, THE
PRETTIEST GIRL IN OUR CLASS,

MAYBE EVEN IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL,

MAYBE EVEN IN AMERICA.

I SEE HER IN SOSH.

SHE'S ALWAYS FLIPPING
HER HAIR AROUND.

THAT'S ONE TERM FOR IT.

AWW. WILL YOU LOOK
AT THIS. "BEST BUTT...

WHO? LESLIE GODFREY."

IT'S NO LIE. SHE'S IN
FRONT OF ME IN HOMEROOM.

"BEST LEGS."

"JENNIFER KAMINSKY?"

IN WHAT UNIVERSE?

IT'S WHO YOU KNOW.

HAVE YOU, LIKE, VIEWED HER
ANKLES? HER ANKLES ARE LIKE HAMS.

WAIT. "SHARON CHERSKI?"

OH, LET ME SEE. WHO? OH, ANGELA.

OH, GOD.

WELL, THEY ARE QUITE SIZABLE.

I MEAN, IF I HAD
A SET LIKE THAT,

I'D OWN A SMALL COUNTRY.

THINGS LIKE THIS MAKE ME SICK.

STOP READING IT. IT'S STUPID.

IT'S LESS THAN STUPID.
WHO ASKED THEM?

WHAT GIVES THEM
THE RIGHT TO DECIDE...

OH, MY GOD! ANGELA!

I'M ON IT!

WHAT?

"MOST SLUT POTENTIAL."

DO YOU LOVE IT?

AAH!

WHOO! I'M ON!

DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE NOT ON IT.

I DON'T CARE IF
I'M ON IT OR NOT.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

I JUST MEANT YOU
DON'T GET NOTICED.

YOU BLEND IN, UNLIKE, SAY, ME,

WHO BASICALLY NEVER WILL.

POTENTIAL SLUT...
NOW, WHERE DO PEOPLE

GET THAT KIND OF IDEA ABOUT ME?

RESEARCH.

I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT THIS IS.

DOESN'T THIS MAKE YOU MAD?

NO. I HAVE THE RIGHT
TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE.

ANYWAY, IT'S A GOOF.

MM-MMM.

WHO ARE THEY TO SAY THAT?

I MEAN, I DON'T WANT PEOPLE
SAYING THAT ABOUT YOU.

OR MAYBE ABOUT YOU...

BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS.

RAYANNE, THAT'S NOT IT.

OR MAYBE IT WAS KIND OF IT.

SHARON, WOULD YOU...
WOULD YOU PLAY THE 12th BAR

OF 23/4, PLEASE?

YOUR, UH, TONE LACKS
A KIND OF A CENTER.

COULD YOU SMILE
AT THE INSTRUMENT,

TURN UP THE CORNERS OF
YOUR MOUTH A LITTLE BIT MORE?

YEAH. ALL RIGHT, LET'S
TRY IT AGAIN, PLEASE, AT 23.

2 BARS.

2, READY, GO.

OK, PUT 'EM AWAY.

BRIAN, WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU MEAN... ABOUT THE POLL?

WHAT POLL?

BRIAN, WHAT POLL?

I DON'T KNOW.

I... I MEAN...

I DON'T CONDEMN IT,

BUT I DON'T...

YOU KNOW, CONDONE IT.

OK, SO I HAVE A ZIT.

I HAVE A ZIT ON MY CHIN.

IT'S NOT THE END OF
THE WORLD... EXACTLY.

Patty: ANGELA!

CAMILLE CALLED ME AT WORK TODAY.

CAN YOU GUESS WHY?

OH, I KNOW. I KNOW WHY.

WHY?

OH, MOM...

WHAT, "OH, MOM"?

YOU KNOW WE HAD A
WONDERFUL TIME LAST YEAR.

YOU AND SHARON HAD A GREAT TIME.

WAIT, WHAT? WHAT WAS
THE WONDERFUL TIME?

THE MOTHER-DAUGHTER
FASHION SHOW.

MOM, I'M NOT FRIENDS
WITH SHARON ANYMORE, OK?

WELL, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

WHAT FASHION SHOW?

THE CHURCH ONE. MOM
SEWED THE DRESSES,

AND THEY LOOKED LIKE NIGHTGOWNS.

NO, THEY DIDN'T.

UH, THEY KIND OF DID, PATTY.

WELL, I'LL GET A NICER
PATTERN THIS YEAR.

IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER.

IT'S TO BENEFIT THE
BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTER,

AND THEY'RE HOLDING
IT IN A REAL BALLROOM.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
MAKING ME DO THIS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

I'LL DO IT.

SWEETHEART, IT'S
REALLY FOR GIRLS

WHO ARE A LITTLE BIT
OLDER THAN YOU ARE.

I KNOW. I DON'T
REALLY WANT TO DO IT.

MOM, THE ONLY
REASON YOU WANT TO GO

IS 'CAUSE EVERYONE TOLD
YOU HOW GREAT YOU LOOKED.

"DID YOU EVER MODEL
PROFESSIONALLY?"

AND THEY CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
HAVE A TEENAGE DAUGHTER,

'CAUSE YOU LOOK...

Both: SO YOUNG.

WELL, I'M SO GLAD
THAT I CAN SERVE

TO AMUSE YOU ALL IN THIS WAY.

ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO DO THIS?

ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO
SEW MATCHING OUTFITS AGAIN?

WELL, OF COURSE.
THAT'S THE WHOLE IDEA.

BESIDES, THE SEWING
WILL RELAX ME.

NORMALLY, IT MAKES YOU CURSE.

IT'S SO SICK. DAD,
DON'T YOU THINK

MATCHING OUTFITS IS SICK?

UH, NO, IT'S NOT SICK.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLY CORNY, MAYBE.

I DON'T THINK IT'S SO CORNY.

WHAT IS "CORNY"?

YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T
ASK A LOT OF YOU, ANGELA.

I'M ASKING YOU TO DO

THIS ONE VERY WORTHWHILE THING

THAT WE'VE ENJOYED BEFORE.

IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

OK, I'LL DO IT.

LOOK, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY,

BUT IF I DON'T DO THINGS
LIKE THIS WITH HER NOW...

I MEAN, IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

IN A FEW YEARS, SHE'LL BE GONE

AND NEVER PHONE AND TELL
SOME PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR

HOW I NEVER SPENT
ANY TIME WITH HER.

NOT TO MENTION THAT
THIS IS A WORTHY CAUSE.

I MEAN, WE'RE
ALWAYS TELLING THEM

HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO BE
INVOLVED IN THE COMMUNITY

AND GIVE SOMETHING BACK.
WE NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

AND IS IT REALLY SO TERRIBLE

TO INVOLVE HER IN SOMETHING

WHERE SHE MAY POSSIBLY
GAIN A LITTLE POISE

AND END UP ULTIMATELY
FEELING BETTER ABOUT HERSELF?

IS THIS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION,

OR CAN ANYONE JOIN?

WELL, I... I JUST FEEL VERY
STRONGLY ABOUT THIS.

PLUS YOU WILL BE

THE PRETTIEST MOM THERE.

LIKE IT'S A QUESTION
OF WHO'S PRETTIEST.

BESIDES... LOOK AT ME.

YOU KNOW, PATTY, IT
WAS JUST A COMPLIMENT.

A SIMPLE "THANK
YOU" WILL SUFFICE.

SORRY.

I MEAN, YOU CAN'T
PRETEND YOU DON'T NOTICE.

"NOTICE WHAT?" HE HEDGED.

THAT MY FACE IS CHANGING.

THAT I HAVE LINES

THAT DON'T GO AWAY
WHEN I STOP SMILING.

OH, I DIDN'T...

IT'S NOT...

THEY DON'T BOTHER ME, PATTY.

AHA. AHA, WHAT?

AHA, YOU ADMIT YOU NOTICED.

I ADMIT NOTHING.

AHA, YOURSELF.

WHAT?

READY TO GO?

UH-HUH.

SO, UM, ARE YOU...

ARE YOU DOING THIS
FASHION THING OR WHATEVER?

THIS... THIS FUNDRAISER?

'CAUSE MY MOM SAID YOU WERE,

AND I JUST...

I WONDERED.

OH, SO THAT'S HOW IT IS NOW.

I CAN'T EVEN ASK YOU A QUESTION?

WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR
DARING TO SPEAK TO YOU.

WELL, EXCUSE ME,

BUT JUST BECAUSE
YOU SUDDENLY DECIDE

I'M WORTH TALKING TO...

GUESS WHAT. I CHANGED
MY MIND. YOU'RE NOT.

OH, GO SQUEEZE YOUR ZIT.

OH, AND CONGRATULATIONS
ON THE POLL.

OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

YOU'RE ON IT.

THEY BOTH ARE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

MMM...

GOD, I LOVE OTHER PEOPLE'S BEDS.

SO WHO'S INTO THE PILLOWS,

YOU OR GRAHAM?

NOW... THIS IS ONE...

I'D REALLY LIKE TO MAKE,

BUT I DON'T KNOW. I THINK I'D
PROBABLY LOOK PRETTY STUPID IN IT.

OH, WHY?

OH, IT'D BE GOOD
FOR ANGELA, BUT...

MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING
IN HERE I CAN COPY.

THIS GIRL IS EVERYWHERE...

PERFECT FACE, PERFECT BODY.

I HATE HER.

SPEAKING OF PERFECT BODIES,

I'M IN SHOCK ANGELA AGREED

TO DO THIS AGAIN.

WHY?

OUR RELATIONSHIP
ISN'T THAT TERRIBLE.

NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT
YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

I JUST DIDN'T THINK SHE'D BE
INTO THIS KIND OF THING ANYMORE.

IT WAS ALL I COULD DO

TO GET SHARON TO AGREE TO IT,

ESPECIALLY AFTER
THAT STUPID POLL.

WHAT, YOU DIDN'T
HEAR ABOUT THE POLL?

WE DON'T HEAR MUCH.
WE LIVE IN THE BACK.

WELL, IT SEEMS...

THAT THIS GROUP

OF HORMONALLY CHALLENGED BOYS

CREATED THIS CHARMING
LITTLE DOCUMENT

RATING THE SOPHOMORE GIRLS.

OH, GOD.

AND SHARON GOT VOTED
BEST GLOBAL ENDOWMENTS.

OH, NO.

BREAKS MY HEART.

SHE'S SO SELF-CONSCIOUS NOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE ANGELA
NEVER MENTIONED THIS.

WELL, SHE'S PROBABLY NOT ON IT.

OH, RIGHT.

NO, SHE'S BETTER
OFF. IT'S BETTER...

OH, DEFINITELY.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

SHE PROBABLY WASN'T...

GOD, IT TOOK ME RIGHT
BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW, I WAS SO
SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY WEIGHT.

CAMILLE, YOU WERE
NOT THAT OVERWEIGHT.

PATTY, I WAS FAT.

I MEAN, EVEN SENIOR YEAR,

WHEN I LOST ALL THAT WEIGHT,

I STILL FELT REALLY FAT.

OH...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GLAD NOW.

I MEAN, NOT LOOKING THAT
GREAT IN HIGH SCHOOL,

I HAD NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP.

I GOT TO TELL YOU NOW,

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,

I ACTUALLY LIKE THE WAY I LOOK.

THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

SEE, I LIKE HOW SHE
LOOKS IN HER VIDEO,

BUT HERE SHE'S JUST HIDEOUS.

I KNOW. I MEAN, WHAT IS
IT WITH HER EYEBROWS?

NO, LOOK AT HER KNEES.
THEY'RE SO POINTY.

HEY, AREN'T YOU HOT
IN THAT SWEATSHIRT?

NO.

HEY, ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GO

TO THAT PARTY TONIGHT?

WHAT PARTY?

THAT GIRL IN OUR MATH CLASS,

YOU KNOW, THE NEW BLOND ONE.

YEAH. IT'S GOING TO BE FUN.

THE WORST FEELING
IS SUDDENLY REALIZING

THAT YOU DON'T MEASURE UP,

AND THAT IN THE PAST,

WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU DID,

YOU WERE A FOOL.

CAN I HAVE A TOWEL?

YEAH, JUST A SECOND.

H-HEY!

WHAT?

I'M NOT ALLOWED IN HERE, EITHER?

JEEZ.

THEY'VE BEEN HOLDING
HANDS FOR, LIKE, 2 WEEKS.

I'M SERIOUS. THEY NEVER LET GO.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE THEIR HANDS HAVE
BEEN SURGICALLY IMPLANTED, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN... HOW DO THEY EAT?

NOT THAT I CONDEMN IT.

I MEAN, IF THEY WANT
TO HOLD HANDS...

NO, EXACTLY.

I MEAN, IT'S FINE WITH ME.

JUST... I'M JUST WONDERING

WHEN ALL THIS
HAPPENED, YOU KNOW?

DO I.

I MEAN, PEOPLE PAIRING
OFF INTO COUPLES.

IT'S, LIKE, I WASN'T
EXPECTING IT OR SOMETHING.

LIKE... LIKE, DID WE COVER THIS?

WAS I ABSENT THAT DAY?

YOU KNOW I WAS.

WELL, I GOT TO GO TO PRACTICE.

WHAT, DOES MY BREATH SMELL?

SO, WHAT DO YOU GUYS
TALK ABOUT AT PRACTICE?

WHAT?

JUST GIVE ME AN
IDEA OF THE TOPICS,

OF YOUR FRIENDS.

WHAT'S THE HOT TOPIC
OF CONVERSATION?

THERE'S NO TOPICS.

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.

LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THE POLL?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW
WHO DID IT, RIGHT? I MEAN...

I MEAN, IT WAS YOU

AND YOUR JOCK
FRIENDS, WASN'T IT?

YEAH... I KNOW SOME
OF THE GUYS WHO DID IT,

BUT I MEAN...

LOOK, I WASN'T THERE.

SO DOES IT REALLY
BOTHER YOU OR SOMETHING?

GUESS HOW MANY
PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME OUT

SINCE THAT STUPID POLL CAME OUT.

WHAT PEOPLE?

GUESS.

WHAT, PEOPLE I, LIKE, KNOW?

8 PEOPLE HAVE ASKED
ME OUT, KYLE, OK,

SINCE TUESDAY.

WELL, WHO, WALLY HENNESSEY?

YOU MUST REALLY
THINK I'M STUPID, HUH?

SO WAIT. WHO'S ASKING YOU OUT?

YOU KNOW, EVEN BEFORE THE POLL,

I HAD MY SUSPICIONS
THAT YOU WERE JUST...

THAT YOU DIDN'T REALLY, LIKE...

ACTUALLY LIKE ME.

I MEAN... I MEAN, FOR REAL.

SO, GOOD. OK.

I KNOW WHY YOU ASKED ME OUT NOW.

THE BIG MYSTERY IS
ALL CLEARED UP NOW.

SO... GOOD-BYE.

WAIT. SHARON, HOLD IT!

YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE
BREAKING UP WITH ME

'CAUSE OF WHAT IT
SAID ON SOME POLL?

OH, YOU'RE SO PERCEPTIVE.

NO, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE
SHOULD BROWSE HERE

FOR A SECOND.

YEAH. GOOD IDEA.

PRETTY GIRL.

YOU'RE THE MOTHER?

YES.

LOVELY SKIN.

WHAT?

HE SAID YOU HAD LOVELY SKIN.

YEAH, RIGHT.

ANGELA, A THANK
YOU WILL SUFFICE.

WE'VE ENTERED A MOTHER-DAUGHTER
FASHION SHOW TOGETHER.

OH.

WE? YOU ENTERED US.

YOU KNOW, I DO MAKEOVERS.

I COULD DO ONE FOR HER
FOR THE FASHION SHOW

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.

REALLY? WELL, THAT
MIGHT BE FUN, RIGHT?

YOU THINK I NEED A MAKEOVER?

I DIDN'T SAY YOU
NEED IT. I SAID...

NEVER MIND.

ANYWAY, HERE, IN CASE
SHE CHANGES HER MIND.

OH, THIS PRODUCT IS AMAZING.

ALL THOSE TINY LINES
AROUND YOUR EYES,

IT ACTUALLY SMOOTHES THEM.

DID YOU WANT ME TO
RING THAT UP FOR YOU?

YES.

♪ TURN ON THE RADIO ♪

♪ WHAT DO YOU HEAR? ♪

♪ 25 CHEERLEADERS
DOIN' A CHEER ♪

HONEY, COULD YOU
NOT DO THAT IN HERE?

IT MAKES IT VERY HARD
FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE.

OH, ANGELA, COME
HERE. I NEED YOUR HELP.

MOM, COME ON.

NO, WHAT COME ON?

I HAVE TO HOLD
SOMETHING UP TO YOU.

MOM, I HAVE TO FINISH
THE METAMORPHOSIS.

WELL, THIS'LL ONLY TAKE
5 SECONDS. TURN AROUND.

OH... I REALLY LOVE THIS FABRIC.

DON'T YOU LOVE IT?

COULDN'T YOU JUST EAT IT?

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

SEE, I WANT TO GET

A KIND OF A...

MARY QUANT LOOK.

MARY WHO?

MMM! I LOVE THE FABRIC.

I WAS THINKING WE COULD TRY

THIS, UH, KIND OF A FRENCH
TWIST TYPE OF THING,

YOU KNOW, TRES CHIC...

MOM, PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR.

WHAT? COME ON. LET... COOPERATE.

I MEAN, WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE DOING THIS TOGETHER.

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.

DID YOU PUT SOME OF THAT
CREAM ON YOUR PIMPLE?

MOM.

LET ME SEE.

YUCK!

MOM, CAN WE NOT TALK
ABOUT MY SKIN, PLEASE?

FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU
REALLY SHOULD DO?

SOAK A WASHCLOTH IN
SOME STEAMING HOT WATER.

APPLY IT VERY
GENTLY TO YOUR CHIN.

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE
A SWAB HANDY... MOM!

WHAT? I'M TRYING TO
HELP. WHAT IS WRONG?

JUST THE WORD... SWAB.

MOM, I MAY NOT WANT TO DO THIS.

MOM?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW MUCH TIME AND EFFORT

I'VE ALREADY PUT INTO THIS?

MOM. AND IT'S GOING TO BE FUN.

MOM.

AND YOU HAVEN'T
GIVEN IT A CHANCE.

WHAT IS IT, HONEY?

NOTHING.

NEVER MIND.

I MEAN, OK, I'LL DO IT.

Man on film: WHO
TAUGHT YOU... PLEASE.

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO HATE
THE TEXTURE OF YOUR HAIR?

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO HATE
THE COLOR OF YOUR SKIN

TO SUCH EXTENT THAT YOU BLEACH

TO GET LIKE THE WHITE MAN?

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO HATE
THE SHAPE OF YOUR NOSE

AND THE SHAPE OF YOUR LIPS?

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO HATE YOURSELF

FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD

TO THE SOLES OF YOUR FEET?

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO
HATE YOUR OWN KIND?

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO HATE
THE RACE THAT YOU BELONG TO

SO MUCH SO THAT YOU DON'T
WANT TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER?

NO, BEFORE YOU COME ASKING
MR. MOHAMMED, DOES HE TEACH HATE?

YOU SHOULD ASK WHO
YOURSELF, WHO TAUGHT YOU

TO HATE BEING WHAT GOD MADE YOU?

"WHEN GREGOR SAMSA
WOKE UP ONE MORNING

"FROM UNSETTLING DREAMS,

"HE FOUND HIMSELF CHANGED
INTO A MONSTROUS VERMIN.

"WHAT'S HAPPENED
TO ME? HE THOUGHT.

"IT WAS NO DREAM.

"HE THOUGHT HOW SIMPLE
EVERYTHING WOULD BE

"IF HE COULD GET SOME HELP.

"THERE'S SOMETHING
THE MATTER WITH HIM,

"HIS MOTHER SAID.

"THERE'S CERTAINLY
SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM,

"EVEN THOUGH HE
SAID THIS MORNING

"THAT THERE WASN'T.

"HOW SOMETHING
LIKE THIS COULD JUST...

"TAKE A PERSON BY SURPRISE.

"MY GOD, CRIED HIS
MOTHER, ALREADY IN TEARS.

"HURRY. GET THE DOCTOR.

"DID YOU HEAR GREGOR TALKING?

"THAT WAS THE VOICE OF AN...

ANIMAL."

SHARON.

SHARON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THE LATEST DANCE CRAZE.

STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

KYLE, WILL YOU JUST...
KYLE, GIVE ME BACK MY SHOE.

GIVE ME MY SHOE BACK. COME ON.

SORRY. I WAS JUST...

I WAS JUST...

NEVER MIND.

WHAT?

WHO'S IN THERE?

SHARON AND THAT GUY.

OH. SO WHAT? WERE THEY KISSING?

OR...

MORE THAN KISSING?

HE WAS LIKE...

MAKING HER BEG FOR HER SHOE.

WOW.

I NEVER HEARD OF THAT.

JUST LISTEN TO ME.

GIVE ME MY SHOE BACK, KYLE.

I WILL, IF YOU'LL LISTEN. OK?

NOW, FIRST OFF, I'M NOT
JUST INTERESTED IN YOU

'CAUSE YOU... 'CAUSE
OF HOW YOU LOOK.

IT'S WHAT GOT MY
ATTENTION, I ADMIT.

BUT IT'S NOT THE WHOLE REASON.

OK, THAT'S IT.

HERE'S YOUR SHOE BACK.

SO WHAT'S THE WHOLE REASON?

WHAT?

TELL ME WHY YOU WANTED
TO GO OUT WITH ME.

AND BE SPECIFIC.

BECAUSE...

THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

GOOD.

YOUR SMILE.

I MEAN...

I LIKE IT.

GOOD.

NEXT.

YOU'RE...

USUALLY IN A GOOD MOOD...

UNLIKE NOW.

ANYTHING ELSE?

IT SEEMED LIKE...

YOU LIKED ME.

I DID.

YOU DID OR DO?

LOOK, IT'S NOT JUST
WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

IT'S YOUR WHOLE...

IT'S YOU.

BUT I MUST ADMIT,

I'M HAPPY YOU HAVE 'EM.

WHY AREN'T YOU?

I'M WORKING ON IT.

OK, SEE, THE EGYPTIANS,

THEY WORE EYELINER

TO WARD OFF THE EVIL SPIRITS.

THEY BELIEVED THAT IF
THEY OUTLINED THEIR EYES,

THAT THE GOOD SPIRITS
WOULD SPOT 'EM EASIER.

I READ IT IN A BOOK, SO
THAT'S WHY I TRIED IT.

THE EYELINER, I MEAN.

SO YOU BELIEVE IN,
LIKE, EVIL SPIRITS?

OH, NO. I'M... I'M CATHOLIC.

BASICALLY, I JUST
LIKE HOW IT LOOKS.

OH. OK.

THAT KIND OF MAKES
SENSE, I GUESS.

IT HAD BECOME THE
FOCUS OF EVERYTHING.

IT WAS ALL I COULD FEEL,
ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT.

IT BLOTTED OUT THE
REST OF MY FACE,

THE REST OF MY LIFE.

LIKE THE ZIT HAD BECOME
THE TRUTH ABOUT ME.

MY HAIR IS SO HARD TO CONTROL.

YOU'RE SO LUCKY. YOU'VE
GOT THAT KIND OF HAIR

YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO BOTHER WITH.

OH, MY GOSH.

LOOK AT THOSE DARK
CIRCLES UNDER MY EYES.

I AM SO TIRED.

I'VE BEEN OUT LATE
DANCING WITH MY BOYFRIEND

EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK.

LUCKY YOU. YOU LOOK LIKE

YOU GET A GOOD NIGHT'S
SLEEP EVERY NIGHT.

I HAVE TO GO PLACES WITH HIM

AND LISTEN TO HIM TELL ME HOW
HE'S ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ME

AND HOW HE GETS
JEALOUS ALL THE TIME.

DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

NO.

OH, MY GOSH. YOU ARE SO LUCKY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THAT'S A GOOD
QUESTION. I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO
THE BATHROOM... EVER.

ANGELA!

COME ON. LET'S GO.

LOOK, STOP SCREWING
AROUND AND JUST POP IT, OK,

SO YOU CAN GET
ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

BUT WON'T POPPING
IT CAUSE A SCAR?

ANYTHING CAUSES A SCAR.

LIVING CAUSES A SCAR.

MY MOTHER HAS A HUMONGOUS
SCAR FROM HAVING ME.

DOES THAT MEAN THAT I
SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN?

SO YOU'RE SAYING POP IT?

I GOTTA GO.

DON'T PUT CONCEALER ON IT.

IT JUST CLOGS YOUR PORES WORSE.

Rayanne: JUST POP IT!

COME PICK US UP...

NICE STITCHING.

THANK YOU.

WHAT?

I HATE BASTING.

IT DRIVES ME NUTS.

ME, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. OK.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

NICE DESIGN.

IT REMINDS ME OF MARY QUANT.

WE'RE HISTORY. SAY GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

WHAT?

YOU HATE IT.

I DON'T HATE IT.

SO CAN I TAKE IT OFF NOW?

ANGELA, WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS THE MATTER?

NOTHING. IT'S JUST,
WE LOOK LIKE...

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE SOME KIND OF WARPED VERSION

OF THE PATTY DUKE SHOW.

GET IT? PATTY...

DUKE. PATTY...

OK.

TAKE THE DRESS OFF.

TAKE IT OFF.

NOW.

MOM...

NO... YOU KNOW, YOU ARE
CLEARLY NOT COMFORTABLE

WITH THIS. I'M NOT CLEAR WHY.

YOU ALWAYS ENJOYED
IT IN THE PAST.

I HAVEN'T ENJOYED
IT ALL THAT MUCH.

WELL, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHY NOT.

I WOULD THINK THAT YOU WOULD
WELCOME THE OPPORTUNITY

TO DRESS UP, TO...
TO LOOK YOUR BEST.

WHO AM I LOOKING MY BEST FOR?

FOR YOU! OF COURSE THIS
IS FOR YOU. I MEAN, I DON'T...

MOM, JUST FACE THE FACTS, OK?

WHAT FACTS? WHAT?

THAT I'M UGLY, OK?

JUST FACE IT. I HAVE.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

HOW CAN YOU POSS...

BY LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, OK?

BY LOOKING AT YOU, AT
THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME.

HOW DO I LOOK AT YOU?

BY THE WAY YOU INSTRUCT ME

ON HOW TO WASH MY
FACE SO I DON'T GET ZITS.

LIKE YOU HAVE TO FIX ME,

LIKE YOU'RE ASHAMED OF ME.

OH, NO. ANGELA, SWEETHEART, NO.

'CAUSE YOU EXPECT
ME TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

BECAUSE YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I'M NOT.

I'M JUST NOT.

I COMPLETELY MESSED UP.

I KNOW.

I MADE IT THIS ISSUE.

I TOOK ALL THE FUN OUT OF IT.

I PUT EXACTLY THE WRONG
KIND OF PRESSURE ON HER,

AND I JUST...

WELL, YOU LOST PERSPECTIVE.

COMPLETELY LOST PERSPECTIVE,

AND I WISH SOMEONE
COULD TELL ME WHY.

WELL, I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE

YOU WERE, UM, KIND OF
CAUGHT UP WITH SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW?

AND SOMETHING UNCONSCIOUS
AND SORT OF OVERPOWERING.

SOMETHING THAT KIND
OF PREVENTED YOU FROM...

ACKNOWLEDGING HER INSECURITIES.

OH, WHO ASKED YOU?

NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

OBVIOUSLY THIS
FASHION SHOW BUSINESS

REALLY MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU.

HMM? IT'S LIKE YOU NEED IT.

IT'S LIKE SOME KIND OF APPROVAL

THAT YOU'RE... I DON'T KNOW...

KIND OF STARVED FOR.

AND THAT MAYBE I CAN'T GIVE YOU

BECAUSE I'M JUST ONE PERSON,

NOT, YOU KNOW, THE WORLD.

SO YOU'RE FLOSSING AGAIN?

AH...

I'M TRYING TO, YEAH.

WELL, I BLEW IT.

SHE FEELS TERRIBLE
ABOUT HERSELF.

AND MY TIMING COULDN'T
HAVE BEEN WORSE.

I MEAN, THE POOR THING'S FORMER
BEST FRIEND IS VOTED MISS BOSOM,

AND ALL SHE GETS IS A PIMPLE.

WELL, THAT PART'S
PROBABLY MY FAULT.

WHAT?

I'M KIDDING.

MY FAULT, YOU KNOW, GENETICALLY.

I PROBABLY HANDED
PIMPLES DOWN TO HER.

PLEASE, GRAHAM,

EVERYBODY GETS
PIMPLES IN HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU DIDN'T.

I... DID, TOO.

OH. OH, RIGHT. I
REMEMBER NOW. THAT ONE.

COME ON. MY FACE
WAS AN ITALIAN ENTREE.

YOU HAD ONE...

ONE PIMPLE... LIKE THE
SINGLE PERFECT ROSE.

WELL, SO NOW THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED, HAVEN'T THEY?

I MEAN, I, LIKE ALL WOMEN,

AM BECOMING LESS AND LESS
ATTRACTIVE IN THE EYES OF THE WORLD

AND MORE AND MORE
EXPENDABLE AS I GROW OLDER,

WHILE YOU, LIKE ALL
MEN, ARE CONSIDERED

MORE DESIRABLE
AND MORE ATTRACTIVE

THE OLDER YOU GET.

OF COURSE YOU'LL DIE SOONER.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, WE BETTER HAVE
SEX RIGHT NOW THEN.

YOU REALLY HAVE NO CLUE

HOW ATTRACTIVE YOU ARE, DO YOU?

I'M NOT ATTRACTIVE.

ME NEITHER.

YOU THINK THERE'S
ANYBODY IN THIS WORLD

WHO REALLY BELIEVES
THAT THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL?

UM...

RuPAUL.

WHAT?

WHAT?

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
EVEN KNOW WHO RuPAUL IS!

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DO.

RuPAUL STRIKES ME AS...

PRETTY SECURE.

WHAT?

WHAT?

NOTHING.

YOU'RE JUST...

PRETTY SURPRISING FOR
SOMEBODY I'VE KNOWN...

FOREVER.

WELL... RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

WHERE'S THE TEACHER?

IT'S RENALDI. HALF THE
TIME, HE DOESN'T SHOW, SO...

HEY, UH...

YOU KNOW THAT,
UH... THAT PARAGRAPH

OR WHATEVER WE HAVE TO WRITE

ABOUT THAT BUG GUY?

THE METAMORPHOSIS?

YEAH. THAT.

IT WAS DUE ALREADY, SO...

I KNOW. I GOT EXTENDED.

THEY SAID IF I DON'T
TURN SOMETHING IN,

THEY'RE GOING TO STICK
ME BACK IN REMEDIAL,

WHICH I'M JUST...

YOU KNOW, NOT IN THE MOOD...

TO BE TREATED LIKE DIRT?

SO WHAT HAPPENS
AFTER HE TURNS BUG?

I MEAN, HOW'S IT END?

WELL, HE DIES.

UM, THEY BASICALLY KILL HIM.

THEY WHO?

WHAT BOOK IS THIS?

WAIT. WHO KILLS
HIM, EXTERMINATORS?

NO. HIS FAMILY.

HUH.

SO HE NEVER, LIKE, TURNS BACK?

NO. AND THEY, UH...
THEY TURN ON HIM.

WELL, WHY?

'CAUSE HE'S A GIANT COCKROACH,

AND THEY, LIKE...
THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT.

THEY'RE LIKE, REPULSED, SO...

THEY, UH, ABUSE HIM.

THEY... THEY...

THEY STARVE HIM.

BUT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE
WHEN YOU'RE READING IT

IS THAT, UM, HE DIES
FROM LONELINESS.

THAT SEEMS POSSIBLE.

W-WAIT.

SO, IF THEY'RE STARVING
HIM OR WHATEVER,

THEN WHY DOESN'T HE JUST LEAVE?

'CAUSE WHAT'S HE GONNA DO, CHECK
INTO A MOTEL? HE'S A COCKROACH.

HEY. ROACH MOTEL.

THE POINT IS

IS HE'S THE SAME PERSON INSIDE,

NO MATTER WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.

ALL THE SAME, IF I WERE HIM,

I'D BE OUT OF THERE SO FAST...

OUT OF WHERE? COME
HERE. I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

SO, KRAKOW,

HOW COME YOU NEVER
ASK ME OVER ANYMORE?

SHE WANTS YOU, MAN. GO FOR IT.

SO, GETTING BACK TO THAT
METAMORPHOSIS STORY...

IT'S MADE UP, RIGHT?

THERE YOU GO. OK.

SO, UM...

LOOK, UH...

ARE YOU DOING THIS
FASHION SHOW THING?

'CAUSE MY MOM KEEPS
HOLDING IT UP TO ME

THAT YOU ARE.

I WAS, BUT I'M NOT.

SO, ARE YOU?

NO. BUT...

BUT MY MOM STILL THINKS WE ARE.

SHE'S, LIKE, IN
DENIAL OR SOMETHING.

WHY DO GIRLS HAVE TO
TEAR EACH OTHER DOWN?

I GUESS 'CAUSE THEY'RE JEALOUS.

I MEAN, I WAS...

OF YOU...

FOR HAVING WHAT YOU HAVE.

DO YOU KNOW HOW
MANY TIMES THIS WEEK

I WISHED I HAD WHAT YOU HAD?

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.

EXACTLY.

WELL, THIS REALLY MAKES SENSE.

I GUESS IT JUST ALL
BOILS DOWN TO WHAT

THEY USED TO DRILL
INTO US AT GIRL SCOUTS.

WHAT, SELL MORE COOKIES?

NO!

NO. YOU KNOW,

UM, WHAT YOU ARE IS... NO. WAIT.

WHAT... WHAT YOUR GIFT IS...

OH! NO.

UM... WHAT YOU HAVE

IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU...

RIGHT! TO YOU. AND WHAT YOU...

DO WITH WHAT YOU HAVE

IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD.

RIGHT. EXACTLY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, LIKE,
ACTUALLY REMEMBER THAT.

OH, PLEASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WE HAVE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
FROM, LIKE, 3 YEARS AGO

IN OUR GARAGE.

HI. WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?

SO, WAS SHE, LIKE...

BRAGGING ABOUT KYLE?

NO.

IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH
HER AGAIN, THAT'S FINE WITH ME.

I DON'T. OK.

MAYBE YOU DO.

AFTER ALL, SHE'S NOT A SLUT...

YET.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

HOW MANY GUYS YOU
DO OR DO NOT SLEEP WITH

IS, LIKE, SO NONE
OF MY BUSINESS.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH OUR FRIENDSHIP. OK?

OK.

♪ TURN ON THE RADIO ♪

♪ WHAT DO YOU HEAR? ♪

♪ 25 CHEERLEADERS
DOIN' A CHEER ♪

♪ FIRECRACKER, FIRECRACKER ♪

♪ BOOM, BOOM, BOOM ♪

♪ BOYS GOT THE MUSCLES ♪

♪ TEACHERS GOT THE BRAIN ♪

♪ BUT GIRLS GOT THE SEXY LEGS ♪

♪ SO WE WIN THE GAME ♪

♪ TURN ON THE RADIO ♪

♪ WHAT DO YOU HEAR? ♪

DANIELLE, CUT IT OUT.

YOU HAVE RECITED THE
SAME MINDLESS, SEXIST CHEER,

LIKE, 50 TIMES.

IT'S NOT SEXIST. THE GIRLS WIN.

JUST 'CAUSE MOM'S MAD AT YOU

'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT
TO DO THE FASHION SHOW...

I MEAN, I KNOW SHE
REALLY WANTED YOU TO.

YEAH. IT'S HER DREAM
THAT I MAGICALLY TURN INTO

THIS PERFECT PRETTY DAUGHTER

THAT SHE CAN SHOW OFF
AND TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR.

TOO BAD I DON'T
QUITE MEASURE UP.

WELL, YOU DO... MORE THAN I DO.

WHAT?

IT'S TRUE. I MEAN, FACE IT.

WHO DID SHE PICK TO DO IT WITH?

I MEAN, NOT THAT I
REALLY WANTED TO DO IT...

THAT MUCH.

I'LL GET DANIELLE
HEADED TOWARDS BED.

I'M SORRY.

WHY?

'CAUSE I WASTED YOUR TIME.

NO. YOU... DIDN'T.

I...

I THINK THAT I...

NEEDED YOU UP THERE WITH ME

TOO MUCH.

MORE THAN I WANT TO NEED IT.

LOOK AT YOU.

LOOK AT HOW YOU LOOKED.

YEAH, WELL...

THAT WAS THEN.

THIS IS NOW.

BUT LOOK AT YOU.

SO, DID YOU LOVE BEING PRETTY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T THINK I EVER...

REALLY LET MYSELF KNOW I WAS.

I WAS ALWAYS REALLY CAREFUL

NOT TO SEEM STUCK-UP OR VAIN

OR CONFIDENT, AND...

I... I LOOK AT A
PICTURE LIKE THAT,

AND I SEE...

MY GOD, I WAS PRETTY.

I WAS SO PRETTY.

I JUST WISH THAT I HAD
BEEN ABLE TO ENJOY IT.

THAT'S...

ALL I WANT FOR YOU IS...

TO ENJOY

WHAT YOU REALLY ARE.

MOM,

DO YOU HAVE ANY COTTON SWABS?

MILLIONS.

SO, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO
DO ABOUT THE FASHION SHOW?

WELL, I CALLED CAMILLE,

AND SHE'S GOING TO TRY TO FIND

ANOTHER MOTHER-DAUGHTER TEAM

TO MODEL OUR DRESSES.

MOM.

HMM?

I THINK I KNOW ONE.

♪ LOVE ♪

♪ LOVE ♪

♪ DEVOTION ♪

♪ DEVOTION ♪

♪ FEELING ♪

♪ FEELING ♪

♪ EMOTION ♪

AW, SHE LOOKS GORGEOUS.

HI!

♪ DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE WEAK ♪

HI!

♪ DON'T BE TOO
PROUD TO BE STRONG ♪

♪ JUST LOOK INTO YOUR
HEART, MY FRIEND ♪

♪ THAT WILL BE THE
RETURN TO YOURSELF ♪

♪ THE RETURN TO INNOCENCE ♪

SOMETIMES IT SEEMS
LIKE WE'RE ALL LIVING

IN SOME KIND OF PRISON.

AND THE CRIME IS HOW
MUCH WE HATE OURSELVES.

IT'S GOOD TO GET
REALLY DRESSED UP

ONCE IN A WHILE

AND ADMIT THE TRUTH.

THAT WHEN YOU
REALLY LOOK CLOSELY,

PEOPLE ARE SO STRANGE
AND SO COMPLICATED

THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY...

BEAUTIFUL.

POSSIBLY EVEN ME.

LET'S GIVE HER A
LITTLE ZIT OVER HERE.

Rayanne: LOOK, IT'S SHARON!

OH, COME ON.

THESE ARE FINE.

HERE. GIVE ME... PICK
UP THIS RIGHT THERE.

UH... OK.

OH, PERFECT. HERE.

WHAT ABOUT... HERE WE GO.

DO YOU LIKE THAT?

TAKE THIS FROM...

TURN IT OVER.

COME ON.

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

♪ AND DANCE BY THE
LIGHT OF THE MOON ♪