My So-Called Life (1994–1995): Season 1, Episode 12 - Self-Esteem - full transcript

Girl: ♪ GO NOW... GO! ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ HEY ♪

Angela: ALL OVER SCHOOL,

THERE ARE THESE CERTAIN PLACES

THAT ARE, LIKE, RESERVED



FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE.

MY BIGGEST REGRET IS...

BREAKING UP WITH KYLE

LIKE, BEFORE MIDTERMS.

Angela: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO CROSS CERTAIN LINES.

SIN! HEY, ABYSSINIA!

Angela: IT'S THIS UNWRITTEN LAW,

LIKE GRAVITY OR SOMETHING.

COME ON. THEY'RE WAITING FOR US.

Angela: LIKE, IN THE BASEMENT
NEAR THE NORTH EXIT,

THERE'S THIS BOILER ROOM...

WHERE CERTAIN
PEOPLE WILL, LIKE, GO

FOR, LIKE, ONLY ONE REASON.

I'D NEVER BEEN THERE,



EVER...

IN MY LIFE.

I'M MISSING MY GEOMETRY REVIEW.

LUCKILY, IT'S OPTIONAL.

SO YOU HAD TO TAKE
OVER 2 ENGLISH CLASSES

EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE
A MATH TEACHER?

GEE WHIZ.

OH, WELL, IT WAS JUST TEMPORARY

TILL THEY COULD, YOU
KNOW, FIND SOMEONE.

IT WAS TERRIFYING.

I WAS NEVER EVEN
GOOD IN ENGLISH,

BUT ANYWAY I'M GLAD

THAT THEY FINALLY
HIRED YOU. I MEAN...

ANGELA CHASE, WHY WEREN'T
YOU IN GEOMETRY REVIEW?

OH, I THOUGHT IT...

ANGELA, YOU NEED THIS.

HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO PASS YOUR MIDTERM?

UM, YEAH, NO,

I THOUGHT IT WAS OPTIONAL,
BUT I'LL DEFINITELY...

UH... NO, YEAH. NO.

IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART,
SOME OF THESE GIRLS.

I MEAN, THEY ARE JUST
SO SMART, AND YET...

IT'S CALLED LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

GOOD MORNING. HI.

HI. I'M MARIANNE CHAVATAL.

OH, HI.

I'M SORRY. THIS IS
RICHARD KATIMSKI.

RICHARD IS TAKING OVER THOSE
ENGLISH CLASSES THEY STUCK ME WITH.

BY THE WAY, IF YOU
HAVE ANY QUESTIONS

ABOUT... ABOUT
ANYTHING, I MEAN...

AH. AH, WELL, TO BE CONTINUED.

OH, YES. BY THE WAY, IF YOU
NEED ANYTHING, DON'T HESITATE.

OH, THANK YOU.

THANKS.

RENEE, HE'S ADORABLE.

SHH! SHH! WELL, HE IS.

I KNOW.

SINCE THIS IS OUR
FIRST CLASS TOGETHER,

I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD START
WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONNETS

BY...

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.

SO WHO WOULD LIKE
TO READ THIS ALOUD?

OH, GEE WHIZ.

IT'S GONNA TAKE ME A WHILE
TO LEARN ALL OF YOUR NAMES.

WHERE IS ENRIQUE VASQUEZ?

OOH, ENRIQUE!

Sí, MI NOMBRE ES ENRIQUE,

AND I WANT TO LIVE IN AMERICA.

I'M TRANSFERRING OUT.

NO, DON'T. THEN WE WON'T
BE IN THE SAME ENGLISH CLASS.

SO? YOU NEVER
EVEN GO TO ENGLISH.

WELL, IN CASE I EVER DO.

ANYWAY, ISN'T ENRIQUE,
LIKE, LEGALLY YOUR NAME?

I DON'T CARE!

AND HE ACTS LIKE HE'S
THIS REALLY NICE GUY

WHEN OBVIOUSLY HE'S NOT.

AND HE TAKES THESE
UNBELIEVABLY LONG PAUSES

LIKE... OK, THIS IS HIM.

MY NAME IS MR., UH...

KATIMSKI.

AND HERE'S A SONNET
BY WILLIAM, UH...

SHAKESPEARE, WHO'S ALMOST
AS BORING AS I, MR., UH...

OH, NO.

SEE YOU.

ENRIQUE.

M-MAY I, UH...

UH...

S-SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MOMENT?

HE ACTUALLY ASKED ME

IF I WOULD CONSIDER
JOINING DRAMA CLUB.

HE MUST HAVE, LIKE, NO LIFE.

SO? NEITHER DO YOU.

I MEAN, DRAMA CLUB IS SOMETHING
I COULD ALMOST PICTURE DOING

IF I WAS, LIKE, REALLY
BORED OR SOMETHING.

BUT WITH HIM
RUNNING IT? PASS-OLA.

WHERE DID YOU GET CHINESE FOOD?

TWO WORDS...

TINO.

SO GUESS WHERE ANGELA IS.

I KNOW WHERE SHE IS.

YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE I LIVE IN THE WORLD.

IT'S SO ROMANTIC.

THEY'RE, LIKE, THIS COUPLE NOW.

WE'LL SEE.

HONEY?

I'M HOME.

PLEASE, DON'T GET UP.

HI.

HI.

WHERE'S ANGELA?

IN REFORM SCHOOL.

GOOD.

MAYBE SHE'LL LEARN
HOW TO MAKE HER BED.

I'M JUST REVIEWING SOME
TERMS FOR THE CLASS TOMORROW

SO I CAN FOLLOW WHAT...

A LOT OF SAUCE
STUFF IS IN FRENCH.

GRAHAM, YOU'LL BE FINE.

IT ISN'T EVEN AN
ADVANCED COURSE.

IT'S INTERMEDIATE.

YEAH, BUT WHAT'S INTERMEDIATE?

I MEAN, WHAT IF I'M
NOT INTERMEDIATE

OR WHAT IF I'M NOT
INTERMEDIATE ENOUGH?

WHAT IS "MEDI... OCRITY"?

LOOK IT UP.

HI.

WELL, HI.

HELLO.

HELLO.

SO WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

UH, STUDYING FOR MIDTERMS.

YOU HUNGRY?

NOPE.

OK, NOW, I REFUSE TO PANIC

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S HAPPY.

ALTHOUGH IT'S ALARMING.

ALTHOUGH IT'S TERRIBLY ALARMING.

Angela: EVERY NIGHT I
MAKE THE SAME VOW,

THAT TOMORROW I WILL
GO TO GEOMETRY REVIEW,

BUT EVERY DAY...

WE BARELY TALKED,

SO WHEN WE DID,

IT CAME OUT SOUNDING
REALLY MEANINGFUL.

THERE'S A TINY
LEAF IN YOUR HAIR.

WHERE?

WAS THAT YOUR
STOMACH OR MY STOMACH?

YOUR CUTICLES LOOK
LIKE LITTLE MOONS.

MY WHAT?

YOUR CUTICLES.

Shane: CATALANO, YOU DOWN HERE?

SHH.

THE FACT THAT WE COME HERE...

LET'S KEEP IT, LIKE, UH...

OUR SECRET.

WHY?

NO REASON.

Shane: CATALANO,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING.

WHO YOU GOT IN THERE?

JUST... JUST A GIRL.

YEAH? YEAH.

GET OFF!

WHO?

NOBODY? JUST SHUT UP.

Mrs. Lerner: VERY GOOD.

NOW DRAW A CIRCLE

WITH 2 INTERSECTING CHORDS.

AND WHEN 2 CHORDS
INTERSECT INSIDE A CIRCLE,

THE PRODUCT OF THE
SEGMENTS OF ONE CHORD

EQUALS WHAT?

Angela: MY WHOLE LIFE
BECAME, LIKE, DIVIDED...

INTO KISSING...

AND NOT KISSING.

KISSING...

AND...

NOT KISSING.

ONCE AGAIN, PEOPLE,

IF YOU RECEIVE LESS
THAN A 70 ON THIS QUIZ,

YOU SHOULD BE ATTENDING

MY FIFTH-PERIOD REVIEW SESSIONS.

Angela: IN GEOMETRY,
I FELT LIKE A CRIMINAL.

I MISSED EVERY REVIEW SESSION,

SO I TRIED TO BE INVISIBLE.

IT'S SURPRISINGLY POSSIBLE.

YOU JUST SIT IN THE
BACK AND KEEP QUIET

AND LET THE BOYS
SHOUT OUT THE ANSWERS,

WHICH THEY WILL,
EVEN IF THEY'RE WRONG.

BOYS ARE LESS AFRAID
OF BEING WRONG.

I'M NOT HAPPY.

GOOD JOB.

Boy: MISS LERNER, CAN
I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

ANYONE WITH A QUESTION
ABOUT THEIR GRADE

CAN SPEAK TO ME
TOMORROW BEFORE CLASS.

HEY, SIN, WHAT'S UP?

NOTHING.

MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE
TO GO TO THIS REVIEW THING.

WHY COULDN'T I JUST
GET 4 MORE POINTS?

THEN I WOULD'VE HAD A 70.

SO HOW ABOUT YOU? HOW'D YOU DO?

UH, 60.

I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AT REVIEW.

ABYSSINIA,

KEEP IT UP.

SHE'S JUST ALWAYS TRYING TO
MAKE ME FEEL BETTER OR SOMETHING.

WELL, MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU.

I MEAN, I DID GET 6
MORE POINTS THAN YOU.

THAT'S TRUE.

ANGELA CHASE, HOW DO YOU
EXPECT TO PASS YOUR MIDTERM?

I'M REALLY SORRY.

SORRY WON'T CUT IT.

I WANT TO SEE YOU AT
TOMORROW'S REVIEW SESSION.

CLEAR?

YES.

YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER

HAVING YOUR LIPS
FROSTED PERMANENTLY.

I FEEL LIKE THEY WERE.

I NOTICED.

THEY LOOK ALL, LIKE, USED,

BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

HEY, RAY, DON'T TELL ANYONE, OK?

THAT RHYMED.

TELL ANYONE WHAT?

YOU KNOW, THAT I'M MEETING
JORDAN CATALANO IN THE BOILER ROOM.

JUST... JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T
WANT PEOPLE TO, LIKE...

KNOW ABOUT US YET OR SOMETHING.

ANGELA, YOU'RE LETTING
JORDAN CATALANO...

LIKE, CONTROL YOU.

WHAT? WHO SAYS
HE'S CONTROLLING ME?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

FOR, LIKE, MONTHS, YOU'VE
BEEN TRYING TO CONVINCE ME

TO DO THESE THINGS I'D
NEVER DREAM OF DOING.

NOW THAT I'M ACTUALLY
DOING THEM, YOU'RE...

I MEAN, HAVEN'T YOU
MADE OUT WITH GUYS

IN THE BOILER ROOM,
LIKE, HUNDREDS OF TIMES?

SO?

SO ARE THEY CONTROLLING YOU?

NO, BECAUSE I AM NOT YOU,

BECAUSE AS I HAVE
STATED A HUNDRED TIMES,

I DON'T GET MY
EMOTIONS INVOLVED.

I'M THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO
CAN HANDLE THE BOILER ROOM.

YOU ARE NOT.

WELL, BYE, DADDY.

OOH, TELL MOTHER THANKS
FOR THE CURTAIN RINGS.

WHOA. YOU HEAR THAT?

YOU GOT A MIGHTY
SQUEAKY FLOORBOARD THERE.

I'D LOOK INTO
THAT IF I WERE YOU.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT ME.

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAID?

NOTHING. I'LL LOOK INTO IT.

YEAH, IT'S RIGHT ABOUT THERE.

UH-HUH. YOU HEAR THAT?

YEP. UH-HUH.

WHERE'S MR. FIX-IT TONIGHT?

HE'S TAKING A CLASS.

A CLASS? MM-HMM.

FOR WHAT?

STOCKS, SOUPS, AND SAUCES.

IT HAPPENS TO BE A
VERY ADVANCED CLASS

FOR VERY ADVANCED COOKS.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT
ADVANCED CRAP.

HE OUGHT TO BE
PULLING HIS WEIGHT.

DAD, STOP IT. THIS IS A
BIG STEP FOR GRAHAM.

HE HAPPENS TO BE AT A
TURNING POINT IN HIS LIFE,

AND I SUPPORT HIM 100%.

TURNING POINT. THAT'S
A HELL OF A NOTE.

YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR A MINUTE.

STOP THROWING MONEY
AWAY ON SOME SAUCE CLASS.

GET ONE OF THOSE...
WHAT DO YOU CALL 'EM...

MARRIAGE COUNSELORS?

NO, NO. HEADHUNTER.

THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED.

SOMEONE TO GET HIM A JOB,

SO HE CAN STOP
SPONGING OFF HIS WIFE.

DAD, THIS IS BETWEEN
ME AND GRAHAM, OK?

PLEASE? YOU DON'T KNOW
ALL THE PARTICULARS.

I'M YOUR FATHER.
THAT'S THE PARTICULARS.

AND YOU DESERVE BETTER.

WELL...

THIS UTTERLY SUCKS.

I HATE WAITING.

MY FIANCÉ SAYS I HAVE THE
SHORTEST ATTENTION SPAN

KNOWN TO MAN.

GUM? BREATH MINT?

OH, NO THANKS.

WELL, WE'RE OFF TO A
SWELL START, AREN'T WE,

THE TEACHER BEING
14 MINUTES LATE.

HEY, DOESN'T THIS REMIND YOU

OF ONE OF THOSE
TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODES?

YOU KNOW, THEY THINK
THEY'VE SIGNED ON

FOR AN ORDINARY COOKING CLASS,

LITTLE DID THEY KNOW,
THEY'LL BE FORCED TO MAKE

AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH
13 STRANGERS FOR ALL ETERNITY.

OR, NO, WAIT, WAIT. ONE OF THOSE
HUMAN BEHAVIOR EXPERIMENTS

TO DETERMINE HOW LONG IT TAKES

BEFORE WE TURN
INTO LORD OF THE FLIES.

I SAY WE GIVE HIM
5 MORE MINUTES,

THEN MUTINY.

TAKE OVER THE STOVE.
ARE YOU WITH ME?

MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL
GO AROUND THE ROOM

AND SAY WHY WE'RE HERE.

UM, I'LL START.

HI. UM... MY FIANCÉ
HATES MY COOKING.

NOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. NEXT?

WELL?

SO, HOW WAS THE CLASS?

STRANGE.

WELL, UM...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STRANGE?

I MEAN...

HOW WAS IT?

DO WE HAVE ANY MORE
OF THAT SPICY MUSTARD?

DID YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYONE
WAS MORE EXPERIENCED

THAN YOU WERE OR SOMETHING?

WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT?

NO, I WASN'T ASSUMING ANYTHING.

I WAS JUST ASKING.

GRAHAM, YOU...

IT'S OK IF YOU HATED IT.

I MEAN, IT WOULD
PROBABLY MAKE MORE SENSE

JUST TO TAKE THE TUITION MONEY

AND USE IT TO HIRE ONE
OF THESE HEADHUNTERS...

OR SOMETHING.

WHAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

WELL, IF THE CLASS
ISN'T WORKING OUT...

WHO SAID IT WASN'T WORKING OUT?

NOBODY.

HE NEVER SHOWED.

WE WERE ALL JUST
SITTING THERE WAITING,

THEN FINALLY THIS KIND OF LOUD
WOMAN STARTED COMPLAINING,

WHICH SORT OF BROKE THE ICE.

SHE HAD ONE OF THOSE
FLIP PHONES IN HER PURSE.

SHE EVEN HAD STEFFAN
DIETER'S ASSISTANT'S NUMBER.

YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF OBNOXIOUS
PERSON THAT HAS EVERYTHING.

SO SHE CALLS HIM. IT
TURNS OUT STEFFAN DIETER

HAD BEEN RUSHED TO
THE EMERGENCY ROOM

WITH FOOD POISONING.

BUT SUPPOSEDLY
NOT FROM HIS FOOD.

FROM THESE TAINTED
SHRIMP AT SOME BOOK SIGNING.

MY GOD.

AND THIS WOMAN,
THE OBNOXIOUS ONE,

SHE GOT THEM TO RESCHEDULE
THE CLASS FOR FRIDAY.

HOW STRANGE.

CATALANO.

IN YOUR OWN WORLD MUCH?

SO YOU GOING TO
BUFFALO TOM FRIDAY?

BUFFALO TOM?

YEAH, TINO FOUND OUT
THAT THEY'RE PLAYING

AT PIKE STREET FRIDAY
NIGHT, LIKE, UNANNOUNCED.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH. PLAY, LIKE, A SET.

SURE.

OK. YEAH, SO...

SO BUFFALO TOM, OK.

WELL, LATER.

OH, OK.

WELL, LATER.

I HAVE ALL THIS GEOMETRY.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D BE HERE.

SO, YOU'RE GOING TO BUFFALO TOM?

WHAT?

BUFFALO TOM.

DIDN'T I HEAR THAT THEY
WERE PLAYING AT PIKE STREET?

I MEAN, I THINK I HEARD
THAT SOMEWHERE.

OH, YEAH. I'M GOING.

WHY?

NO REASON.

OK, SHOULD I RAT IT, SPRAY
IT, TEASE IT, FREEZE IT,

SPIKE IT, SHAVE IT, OR SHOVE IT?

EXCUSE ME, HAVE YOU
EVER BEEN TO A CLASS?

EXCUSE ME. I WAS
ADDRESSING MYSELF.

O.K.

SO... WHAT'S THE DEAL

WITH ANGELA AND JORDAN CATALANO?

HERE'S A THOUGHT... ASK HER.

I CAN'T. SHE'LL THINK
I'M CHECKING UP ON HER.

SO, ARE THEY, LIKE, A COUPLE?

FROM THE POINT OF
VIEW OF WHAT I BELIEVE,

OR FROM WHAT SHE BELIEVES?

FROM THE POINT
OF VIEW OF REALITY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I'D HAVE TO SAY I...

I THINK SHE COULD
REALLY GET HURT HERE.

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.

I KNOW. THAT'S THE
WHOLE PROBLEM.

DON'T YOU HAVE
FRENCH THIS PERIOD?

YOU SHOULD TALK.

HOW COME YOU'RE NEVER
AT A GEOMETRY REVIEW?

ANGELICA...

ANGELA, WE'RE,
LIKE, CONCERNED, OK?

BECAUSE I CUT A FEW
GEOMETRY REVIEWS?

WHAT, YOU TWO,
LIKE, DISCUSS ME NOW?

WE DON'T DISCUSS
ANYTHING. WE'RE BARELY...

WE'RE NOT EVEN
FRIENDS. ARE WE FRIENDS?

NO.

WELL, I'M NOT DISCUSSING
JORDAN CATALANO.

WHY NOT?

WHY IS HE KEEPING
YOU TWO A SECRET?

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S
KEEPING US A SECERT?

RAYANNE TOLD ME.

LOOK, THE ONLY
REASON WE TALK LIKE THIS

IS BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT YOU.

WHEN I WAS DRINKING
AND DRUGGING,

YOU WANTED ME TO
STOP, AS MY FRIEND.

WAIT, YOU'RE COMPARING ME
MAKING OUT WITH JORDAN CATALANO

TO YOU GETTING YOUR
STOMACH PUMPED?

YOU DON'T SEE THE CONNECTION?

THE CONNECTION IS SELF-RESPECT.

THANK YOU.

ANGELA, GOD, YOU
KNOW, THE POINT IS...

WELL, WHO IS HE?!

WHO IS HE TO
TREAT YOU LIKE THIS?

YEAH, WHAT, YOU'RE NOT COOL
ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE SEEN WITH YOU?

EXACTLY, AND SHE'S NOT
SLUTTY ENOUGH FOR HIM

JUST TO DO IT WITH HER
AND BRAG TO HIS BUDS.

I MEAN, PLEASE, YOU
DESERVE, LIKE, SO MUCH BETTER.

JUST 'CAUSE HE'S NOT KYLE,

AND DOESN'T PARADE WTH ME
DOWN THE HALLS HOLDING HANDS.

WHAT IS HOLDING
HANDS? I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT ARE HANDS?

IT'S NOT EVEN AN
ERO-GEENOUS ZONE.

EROGENOUS. AND IT IS TO ME.

YOU'RE BOTH WRONG.

AND IF HE DOESN'T WANT
TO BE SEEN WITH ME,

THEN WHY DID HE ASK ME TO MEET
HIM FRIDAY NIGHT AT PIKE STREET

TO HEAR BUFFALO TOM?

NOT THAT I CAN EVEN GO.

I MEAN, I HAVE TOO
MUCH GEOMETRY.

MAYBE I'LL GO. I
LIKE BUFFALO TOM.

WHAT?

I DO.

YOU KNOW, I AM SICK
OF BEING PERFECT.

I BROKE UP WITH KYLE.

I HAVE A TOTAL RIGHT

TO SCREW UP MY MIDTERMS.

MORE LIKE AN OBLIGATION.

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

HI.

OH, HI.

IT'S RENE.

RENE, OF COURSE.

THERE'S SO MANY
NEW NAMES IN ONE...

WEEK.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D SAY HI.

WELL, GOOD.

I MEAN, WE NEVER REALLY GOT
TO FINISH OUR CONVERSATION,

SO...

WELL, I MEAN, NOT
THAT WE NECESSARILY

HAD TO FINISH IT.
I JUST THOUGHT...

WHAT A WEEK, HUH?

I WILL BE SO GLAD WHEN
MIDTERMS ARE OVER.

I MEAN, SO MANY OF MY KIDS
ARE JUST SLIDING DOWNHILL.

IT'S SO DISCOURAGING,

BUT I MEAN, YOU
TRY TO REACH OUT.

I MEAN, YOU REALLY TRY,

BUT WHEN THEY DON'T
TAKE THE NEXT STEP,

IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME?

FOR A MOMENT.

ENRIQUE...

WHERE ARE YOU
TWO SUPPOSED TO BE?

SEE, WHAT HAPPENED WAS,
WE WERE GOING TO LUNCH.

BUT FIRST, WE HAD TO
STOP BY MY LOCKER...

PLEASE, PLEASE, SPARE
ME THE EXPLANATION.

JUST GET TO THE CAFETERIA.

TOTALLY.

OH, LOOK, WOULD YOU BE
INTERESTED IN JOINING DRAMA CLUB?

WOULD IT GET ME OUT OF ANYTHING?

I DOUBT IT.

OK. GO TO LUNCH.

SEE YOU, ENRIQUE.

UH...

PEOPLE DON'T CALL ME ENRIQUE,

EXCEPT, LIKE, MY
GRANDMOTHER, AND SHE'S DEAD.

OH, O.K.

I'LL TRY TO...

BOY, IMAGINE HAVING A NAME
LIKE ENRIQUE AND NOT USING IT.

GEE WHIZ. I'M AN ENRIQUE, TOO.

WELL, SORT OF. WELL... RICHARD.

IT'S NOT QUITE THE SAME THING.

NO.

UH, RICHARD WOULD BE RICARDO.

OH, HERE'S THE SIGN-UP SHEET.

BY THE WAY, IN CASE
YOU WANT TO SIGN UP.

DID I TALK TO YOU?

YES.

I DID... WHAT DID YOU SAY?

THAT I'M NOT INTERESTED.

OH, WELL. MAYBE YOU'LL
CHANGE YOUR MIND.

I'M POSITIVE I WON'T.

WELL, IF YOU DO, HERE'S THE
SIGN-UP SHEET. IT'S RIGHT HERE.

WE'LL HAVE THE FIRST
MEETING FRIDAY, AFTER SCHOOL.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
ANSWER RIGHT AWAY.

YOU GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

I WAS KIDDING YOU.
CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?

RENE?

UH, WHAT IS IT?

I JUST MADE THE BIGGEST
FOOL OUT OF MYSELF.

NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HE SAYS, "GEE WHIZ."

AND HE WON'T STOP WITH
THIS DRAMA CLUB STUFF.

HE'S DRIVING ME
STARK, RAVING MAD!

DID I TELL YOU YET WHAT
ANGELA CHASE ASKED ME?

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY
LET PEOPLE LIKE THAT TEACH.

SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD
COME OVER TONIGHT

AND EXPLAIN CONGRUENT
TRIANGLES TO HER.

SO I SAID, "DO YOU KNOW
HOW LONG IT'S EVEN BEEN

SINCE I EVEN HAD GEOMETRY?"

SHE, LIKE, HANDS ME
HER GEOMETRY BOOK,

LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO SUPPOSEDLY

REVIEW IT OR SOMETHING.

HE DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN ENRIQUE AND RICARDO.

WHO'S ENRIQUE AND RICARDO?

I MEAN, LOOK AT ALL
THIS WORK I HAVE TO DO.

I MEAN, I COULD SPEND
THE ENTIRE WEEKEND,

LIKE... LIKE, WITHOUT MEALS.

AND EVEN THEN I PROBABLY
COULDN'T GET IT ALL DONE.

I JUST MEAN THEY'RE TWO
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NAMES.

I MEAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE
WHAT SOME PEOPLE

WILL ASK OTHER PEOPLE TO DO!

SO YOU'RE NOT GOING?

WELL, I MIGHT STOP BY.

JUST TO KIND OF
TAKE A STUDY BREAK.

GO ON. TASTE IT.

IT'S TERRIBLE.

PARDON?

NO, GO ON. OH.

DON'T TAKE MY
WORD FOR IT. TASTE IT.

JUST... IT NEEDS SOMETHING.

YEAH, LIKE A TASTE.

SO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KNEW
ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT POTTAGE.

WHERE DID YOU
LEARN THAT, FRANCE?

NO, IT'S JUST
THINGS YOU PICK UP.

YOU KNOW, TRIAL AND ERROR.

YEAH? BE BETTER THAN
THIS CLASS. THAT'S FOR SURE.

SAY...

WHAT DO WE THINK OF HIM?

STEFFAN DIETER?

NO, RUSH LIMBAUGH.

WELL, I THINK...

I MEAN, DID YOU UNDERSTAND
ONE WORD HE WAS SAYING

THROUGH THE ENTIRE CLASS?

WELL, HE IS FOREIGN.

ALSO DRUNK.

WHICH ONE DO YOU
THINK HE'S BEEN LONGER?

SHH! YOU REALLY THINK SO?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
LOOK AT THAT SCHNOZ.

IT'S A BROKEN
CAPILLARY FESTIVAL.

I'M TELLING YOU, IF HE
DOESN'T GET IT TOGETHER,

I'M GONNA MAKE SUCH A STINK.

REALLY?

WOULD I KID YOU?

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY,
WE DESERVE BETTER.

I MEAN...

DON'T WE?

MAN, THAT STEFFAN
DIETER GUY IS...

WHAT?

REALLY HARD TO FOLLOW.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXACTLY?

THESE ARE NICE. YOU
ACTUALLY MADE THESE?

YES, WHY DO YOU
SOUND SO SURPRISED?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
MEAN, "HARD TO FOLLOW"?

IN WHAT WAY?

I MEAN IN THE SENSE THAT
WHEN HE SPEAKS, IT'S HARD.

TO FOLLOW IT.

WELL, YOU MEAN FOR
YOU TO FOLLOW OR...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
WELL, NO, I MEAN...

COULD NOBODY FOLLOW IT OR...

WHY WOULD ONLY I HAVE
PROBLEMS FOLLOWING?

I DON'T KNOW, I WASN'T
THERE. SO I WAS JUST...

WHY DO YOU DO THIS?

DO WHAT?!

I JUST ASKED IS IT POSSIBLE

THAT THERE WERE
PEOPLE IN THE CLASS

WHO COULD FOLLOW
WHAT HE WAS SAYING?

I'M GOING UPSTAIRS.

AND FOR YOUR
INFORMATION, HE'S A LUSH.

HE'S A DRUNKEN LOUT.

♪ SOFT WORDS SPOKEN SOFTLY ♪

♪ SPOKEN PROMISES BROKEN ♪

♪ CLOSE MY EYES AND STARE... ♪

SEE, I TOLD YOU.

YOU JUST GOT TO PUT YOUR
THUMB OVER THE PICTURE.

THEY'RE EVEN CUTER
THAN ON THEIR CD.

♪ VOLUNTEER... ♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE.

I HAVE, LIKE, SO
MUCH WORK TO DO.

HE'S NOT HERE.

I MEAN, I HAVE, LIKE, 3
MIDTERMS NEXT WEEK.

SHE WENT TO HEAR BUFFALO TOM.

♪ I HELD HER HAND TOO TIGHT... ♪

WE MAY AS WELL JUST LEAVE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
WANT TO LEAVE ALREADY

JUST 'CAUSE YOU DON'T...

THERE HE IS.

THERE'S RAYANNE GRAFF
AND THAT WEIRD GIRL

SHE ALWAYS HANGS OUT WITH.

HE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE HE SAW ME.

HE'S BUSY. I'M NOT EVEN GOING...

WHAT? FORGET BUSY.

I MEAN, HE ASKED YOU
TO ME HIM HERE, RIGHT?

I MEAN, WHY ISN'T HE,
LIKE, COMING TO YOU?

'CAUSE HE DOESN'T SEE ME.

HE'S... HE'S BUSY.

♪ WELL, I PUT THEM IN A JAR ♪

♪ I KNOW THEY WOULDN'T SCAR ♪

♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD... ♪

WILL YOU GO OVER
THERE, PLEASE? JUST GO.

I MEAN, REALLY.

REALLY!

HI.

HI.

UH...

YOU'RE KIND OF CROWDING ME.

♪ I... I CLOSE MY
DOOR AT NIGHT ♪

♪ BUT SHE GETS IN ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ SO I TURN ON THE LIGHT ♪

♪ I... I HELD HER
HAND TOO TIGHT ♪

♪ TOO HARD TO MAKE IT RIGHT ♪

♪ SO I COULD SLEEP AT NIGHT... ♪

ANGELA!

ANGELA, WAIT!

♪ IF I COULD HOLD
THEM IN MY HAND... ♪

HEY, GRAFF, YOU WANT TO PLAY?

SHUT UP.

♪ I'D MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND ♪

♪ I'M NOT A HAUNTED MIND ♪

♪ I'M NOT A
THOUGHTLESS KIND... ♪

YOU KNOW YOU LIKE HER.

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO ADMIT IT,
MAYBE TREAT HER HALFWAY DECENT?

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
SHE DESERVES IT,

AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO WAIT
AROUND FOR YOU FOREVER.

♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD... ♪

MAN, THEY'RE, LIKE,
WEIRD, YOU KNOW?

BOTH OF THEM.

♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪

Angela: THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT SUNDAY NIGHT

THAT REALLY MAKES YOU
WANT TO KILL YOURSELF,

ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE JUST
BEEN TOTALLY MADE A FOOL OF

BY THE ONLY PERSON
YOU'LL EVER LOVE,

AND YOU HAVE A GEOMETRY
MIDTERM ON MONDAY,

WHICH YOU STILL
HAVEN'T STUDIED FOR

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T

BECAUSE BRIAN KRAKOW
HAS YOUR TEXTBOOK,

AND YOU'RE TOO EMBARRASSED
TO EVEN DEAL WITH IT.

AND YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S
COMPLETELY FINISHED HER HOMEWORK,

WHICH IS JUST, LIKE,
SO SIMPLE AND MINDLESS

A CHILD COULD DO IT.

MOM, DAD, I FINISHED MY
REPORT ON CRUSTACEANS.

AND THAT CREEPY 60 MINUTES WATCH

THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR
WHOLE LIFE TICKING AWAY.

DADDY'S AT HIS
COOKING CLASS, HONEY!

AHH...

OH!

LOOK.

ANGELA, DID YOU SEE
THIS WONDERFUL REPORT

THAT DANIELLE DID?

MM-HMM.

WHAT CAN I SAY? WHAT?

NOTHING.

THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY!

LISTEN, UM...

COULD I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

SURE.

IT'S ABOUT RISOTTO.

HEY, DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR
GEOMETRY MIDTERM TOMORROW?

YEAH.

WELL, DO YOU FEEL PREPARED?

UH-HUH.

I THINK I'M GOING TO
CALL BRIAN KRAKOW,

AND MAYBE WE CAN QUIZ
EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING.

ANGELA, THAT'S A
REALLY WONDERFUL IDEA.

REALLY.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT YOU
DIDN'T INHERIT MY MATH BLOCK.

I WAS ALWAYS SO
TERRIBLE IN MATH,

AND IT AFFECTED MY ENTIRE LIFE

AND I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID THAT
I WAS GOING TO PASS IT DOWN

TO YOU GIRLS LIKE
A BAD CHROMOSOME.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T.

THANK GOD.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

I KNOW.

YOU'RE IN SOME KIND
OF DREAM WORLD

OR SOMETHING THAT
REVOLVES AROUND YOU.

YOU HAVE, LIKE, NO CONCEPT
OF ANYBODY ELSE'S LIFE.

I KNOW!

YOU COULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO
IMAGINE THE PRESSURE I'M UNDER.

YOU THINK YOU'RE
UNDER PRESSURE? YOU?

THAT IS SO, LIKE, LAUGHABLE.

BRIAN, YOU'RE
COMPLETELY RIGHT, O.K.?

BUT COULD YOU JUST PLEASE
EXPLAIN GEOMETRY TO ME ANYWAY?

ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE?

YES, I PROBABLY AM.

DO YOU THINK I CARE?

YOU COULD NOT POSSIBLY CONCEIVE

OF HOW MUCH STUDYING
I HAVE TO DO TONIGHT.

HAVE YOU EVER EVEN
HEARD OF CALCULUS?

GEOMETRY IS A PAID VACATION
COMPARED TO CALCULUS.

OK? I MEAN,

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT
IT'S LIKE TO BE IN ACCELERATED?

DO YOU REALIZE THE
PRESSURE ON A PERSON

WHEN IT'S, LIKE, ASSUMED
THAT THEY WILL ALWAYS GET As?

"HEY, BRIAN, PULL ANOTHER "A"?"

"THAT BRIAN, HE
ALWAYS GETS AN "A."

YOU HAVE THE OPTION OF INSANITY.

I DO NOT!

AND THAT...

MAKES ME CRAZY!

HI.

I HAVE TO LEAVE.

UM, I'M LEAVING.

GOODBYE.

DID BRIAN KRAKOW LEAVE
ALREADY? OH, YOU'RE HOME!

I HAVE TO STUDY.

SO?

UH, STEFFAN DIETER WON'T
BE TEACHING FOR A WHILE.

HE'S IN SOME REHAB IN
IDAHO GETTING DEGLAZED.

GRAHAM, I'M SORRY.

I'M TRULY SORRY.

FOR WHAT?

COME ON. DON'T DO THIS.

DON'T STAY IN THE
CLASS JUST TO SPITE ME.

WHAT?

PLEASE. THIS WAS MY IDEA.

I FORCED YOU INTO IT,

AND OBVIOUSLY IT'S
TURNED OUT TO BE

A TOTAL AND COMPLETE
WASTE OF TIME,

SO, FINE, I WAS WRONG, OK?

I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.

OK, JUST QUIT THE
WRETCHED CLASS.

I PROMISE I'LL NEVER SUGGEST
TAKING ANOTHER CLASS

AS LONG AS EITHER OF US LIVE.

THEY WANT ME TO TEACH THE CLASS.

WHAT?

ARE YOU KIDDING OR...

WE WERE ALL JUST SITTING THERE.

IT'S BECOMING
NIGHTMARISHLY CLEAR

THAT HE'S NOT GONNA SHOW AGAIN.

I'M THINKING, "THIS HAS BEEN

THE STUPIDEST WEEK OF MY LIFE."

AND OF COURSE THIS WOMAN...

THE LOUD, OBNOXIOUS ONE?

SHE'S GOING ON AND
ON ABOUT HOW SHE TRIED

TO MAKE RISOTTO FOR HER FIANCÉ

AND IT TURNED OUT TO
BE THIS BIG DISASTER.

SO I STARTED TELLING HER WHY.

AND PRETTY SOON
EVERYONE'S ASKING QUESTIONS

AND LIKE WRITING
DOWN WHAT I'M SAYING.

SUDDENLY THIS WOMAN, SHE SAYS,

"YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SO MUCH

EASIER TO FOLLOW
THAN STEFFAN DIETER.

YOU SHOULD TEACH THIS CLASS."

SO I WAITED FOR
EVERYONE TO LAUGH,

AND, YOU KNOW, NO ONE LAUGHED.

WELL, THAT'S...

THAT'S WONDERFUL!

WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE THAT?

LIKE WHAT?

NO. NO. I... IT'S WONDERFUL!

IT IS. I'M JUST SURPRISED.

CAN'T I BE SURPRISED?

AREN'T YOU SURPRISED?

YEAH.

VERY.

YEAH. I'M GOING
TO DO IT, THOUGH.

I JUST, UH...

I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED

IF ONE OF US WASN'T
QUITE SO SURPRISED.

HUH.

Angela: THE TRULY
FRIGHTENING THING

IS THAT EVEN AFTER
EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED,

JORDAN CATALANO LEFT
A NOTE IN MY LOCKER

TO MEET HIM IN THE BOILER ROOM.

THE NAUSEATING
PART IS THAT I WENT.

DON'T SAY HELLO OR ANYTHING.

HELLO.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAME HERE.

WHY DID YOU ASK ME TO COME HERE?

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE HOW YOU ARE.

SO LEAVE.

ADMIT IT FIRST.

ADMIT WHAT?

THAT ALL OF THIS HAPPENED,

THAT YOU HAVE EMOTIONS.

THAT YOU CAN'T, LIKE,
TREAT ME ONE WAY

IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS,

AND THE NEXT MINUTE
LEAVE ME SOME NOTE.

AND, BY THE WAY,

I SPELL MY NAME WITH ONE "L."

"MY MISTRESS' EYES ARE
NOTHING LIKE THE SUN.

"CORAL IS FAR MORE
RED THAN HER LIPS' RED.

"IF SNOW BE WHITE,

"WHY, THEN HER BREASTS ARE DUN.

"IF HAIR BE WIRES,

"BLACK WIRES GROW ON HER HEAD.

"I HAVE SEEN ROSES
DAMASK'D, RED AND WHITE,

"BUT NO SUCH ROSES
SEE I IN HER CHEEKS,

"AND IN SOME PERFUMES
IS THERE MORE DELIGHT

"THAN IN THE BREATH THAT
FROM MY MISTRESS REEKS.

"I LOVE TO HEAR HER SPEAK,

"YET WELL I KNOW

"THAT MUSIC HATH A FAR
MORE PLEASING SOUND.

"I GRANT I NEVER
SAW A GODDESS GO.

"MY MISTRESS, WHEN SHE WALKS,

"TREADS ON THE GROUND,

"AND YET, BY HEAVEN,

"I THINK MY LOVE AS RARE

AS ANY SHE BELIED
WITH FALSE COMPARE."

WHAT KIND OF GIRL IS
SHAKESPEARE DESCRIBING HERE?

IS SHE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL?

Brian: NO.

IS SHE A GODDESS?

HMM?

PHYSICALLY PERFECT?

THE KIND OF GIRL
WHO STOPS TRAFFIC

WHEN SHE WALKS DOWN THE STREET?

NO.

SO HE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH HER?

YEAH...

HE IS.

AND WHY IS THAT?

WHY IS HE IN LOVE WITH HER?

WHAT IS IT?

WHAT IS IT?

WHAT IS IT ABOUT HER?

THAT SHE'S NOT JUST A FANTASY.

SHE'S GOT, LIKE...

FLAWS.

SHE'S REAL.

THANK YOU.

Angela: PLEASE, GOD, I
KNOW I'M CUTTING ENGLISH

AND I'VE DONE A MILLION
OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS,

INCLUDING NOT EVEN
COMPLETELY BELIEVING IN YOU,

BUT PLEASE,

PLEASE HELP ME TO
PASS THIS MIDTERM.

OH, GOD.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

IT'S TOO LATE. IT'S OVER.

YOU HAVE MISS LERNER, RIGHT?

FOR GEOMETRY.

SO?

NOTHING. I JUST
DIDN'T STUDY AT ALL.

ME NEITHER.

YEAH, BUT I REALLY NEED IT.

I MIGHT JUST SKIP THE MIDTERM.

I MEAN, I'M GOING
TO FLUNK IT ANYWAY.

YEAH, WELL, I JUST
MAY SKIP IT MYSELF.

I'M SICK OF BEING THE
LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL.

IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT.

WHY DID I LET THIS HAPPEN?

I'VE TOTALLY BLOWN IT.

WHY DOES HE HAVE, LIKE,
THIS POWER OVER ME?

I HAVEN'T CUT A MIDTERM
IN A REAL LONG TIME.

AND IF THE 2 PARALLEL LINES
ARE CUT BY A TRANSVERSAL,

THEN WHAT?

THE ANGLES ARE CONGRUENT.

THAT'S IT!

THAT WAS THE BELL.

WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

I MEAN, WE SHOULD TAKE THE TEST.

IT WOULD BE DUMB TO SKIP IT.

DID YOU HEAR?

THE COPY MACHINE ATE
OUR GEOMETRY MIDTERM!

IT'S BEEN POSTPONED
TILL TOMORROW.

AAH! AAH!

OK, SO LERNER'S HAVING
ANOTHER REVIEW SESSION

THIS AFTERNOON.

OH. WELL, I'LL
DEFINITELY BE THERE.

NOT ME.

I DON'T NEED IT.

EH!

RAYANNE.

GET OVER HERE.

ENRIQUE.

LATER. RAYANNE, WAIT!

GEE WHIZ! I WAS JUST
THINKING ABOUT YOU.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

PARDON?

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING
I'M GOING TO DO.

I'M JUST NOT THE TYPE OF
PERSON WHO JOINS THINGS, OK?

I'M REALLY SORRY,
BUT, NO, THAT'S NOT OK!

WHAT?

I MEAN, COME ON, I'M A TEACHER.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT

TO A RIDICULOUS
STATEMENT LIKE THAT?

YOU DON'T JOIN THINGS.

WHO ARE YOU, GROUCHO MARX?

YOU'D NEVER BELONG TO ANY CLUB

THAT WOULD HAVE YOU AS A MEMBER?

WHAT?

LOOK, WHAT IS HOLDING
YOU BACK HERE?

THAT I'M NOT COOL ENOUGH?

DON'T LET THE FACT THAT YOUR
ENGLISH TEACHER IS A DORK

STOP YOU FROM
FULFILLING YOUR POTENTIAL.

JUST PRETEND THAT
I'M A TRACK COACH.

I HAPPEN TO NOTICE
THAT YOU CAN RUN FAST.

I NEED YOU ON MY TEAM.

IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT, ENRIQUE.

STOP CALLING ME THAT! WHY
ARE YOU CALLING ME THAT?!

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,
I KEEP FORGETTING.

IT'S JUST...

OH, GEE WHIZ, IT'S
SUCH A GREAT NAME.

WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,

I HATED MY NAME. I HATED IT.

YEAH.

I DON'T HATE MY NAME.

I JUST...

OH, WELL, GOOD. I'M REALLY GLAD.

NOBODY SHOULD...

HATE WHO THEY ARE.

♪ I... I CLOSE MY
DOOR AT NIGHT ♪

♪ BUT SHE GETS IN ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ SO I TURN ON THE LIGHT ♪

♪ I... I HELD HER
HAND TOO TIGHT ♪

♪ TOO HARD TO MAKE IT RIGHT ♪

♪ SO I COULD SLEEP AT NIGHT ♪

♪ IF I COULD HOLD
THEM IN MY HAND ♪

♪ I'D MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND ♪

♪ I'M NOT A HAUNTED MIND ♪

♪ I'M NOT A
THOUGHTLESS KIND... ♪

CAN WE...

♪ IF I COULD PUT THEM IN A JAR ♪

CAN WE GO SOMEWHERE?

SURE.

♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪

♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪

Sharon: ANGELA, WAIT!

DON'T FORGET... THE
GEOMETRY REVIEW.

FORGET IT.

SHE ALREADY DID.

♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.