My Life as a Teenage Robot (2002–2022): Season 2, Episode 1 - A Robot for All Seasons - full transcript
On the day after Christmas, Jenny goes to the mall, and sees an unhappy little boy named Todd Sweeney. Wanting to share some of the Christmas Spirit, Jenny decides to play with him for the day. However, once at Todd's place, Jenny blacks out. When she comes to, she finds that the entire town of Tremorton are up in arms, and intend to destroy her (except Sheldon, of course). Jenny soon realizes that she didn't black out for a few moments, but for a full year. Todd, having grown irritable and angry after it seemed that his parents left him on a Christmas not long before, has used her to disrupt and destroy every major holiday over the past year. Jenny tries to reason with Todd, but given the current date, he intends to use Jenny to ruin the biggest holiday of the year: Christmas.
Santa!
Santa!
Santa!
( robotic voice ):
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.
( feet screeching )
Around the world in 80 seconds.
Not bad, Santa.
Thanks, Mom. I mean...
( child's voice ):
Thanks, Mom.
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Oh, Jenny,
I'm so grateful.
After my mysterious accident,
I thought I'd have
to cancel Christmas,
but thanks to you,
all the presents
were delivered
in record time.
I got to hand it to you, Jen,
I thought you were nuts
trying to sit in for Santa,
but you really
pulled it off.
I never doubted her
for a second.
Well, I couldn't
have done it alone. I...
Want to thank us for our
all-important moral support?
Well, I'm... ready.
Huh?
Actually, I wanted to give
some props to my mom.
Thanks to her patented
Kringle-Chip technology,
nobody noticed
the Santa switch.
TUCK:
I don't know, Jenny.
This belly doesn't feel
like a bowl full of jelly to me.
Nope, no jelly.
Just a huge haul
of milk and cookies.
Yahoo!
Don't fill up on cookies, Tuck,
because you're all invited
to our day-long Christmas feast.
ALL:
Hooray!
♪ We're spending
Christmas with Santa ♪
♪ We never felt so gay ♪
♪ There's no better way ♪
♪ To celebrate this
holly, jolly day ♪
♪ The air all smells
like Christmas pudding ♪
♪ And fresh-baked
Christmas bread ♪
♪ And my brain's about to burst
with sugar plums in my head ♪
♪ Like a plague
of festive vermin ♪
♪ Elves are everywhere
you look ♪
♪ In the air, on the sea,
and every blessed little nook ♪
♪ Watch Santa
when the turkey's carved ♪
♪ He'll eat half
then pass the rest ♪
♪ Don't step between
his plate and him ♪
♪ That's if you know
what's best ♪
♪ I can feel the season's
happiness within me ♪
♪ As it flows ♪
♪ From the tip top on my missile
head down to my missile toes ♪
♪ Every other celebration
from now on will pale because ♪
♪ There's nothing
that beats Christmas ♪
♪ With good old Santa Claus. ♪
Thanks again,
Mr. and Mrs. Claus.
Everything was wonderful.
Thank you, Jennifer.
Come back anytime.
Be good, everyone.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
So fellas, how are you
going to spend
your day after
Christmas?
Same way as everyone else.
Taking advantage of all
the sales at the mall.
Sales?
Well, XJ-9, the Tremorton Mall
opens in less than five minutes.
So as a reward
for a job well done,
take this credit card and...
...have fun.
Doggone it, Tuck,
you're weighing us down.
JENNY:
Well, guys, we made it.
Where should we go first?
Toys, toys, toys.
I hear the Gadget Shack
is having a sale on widgets.
Toys!
I could pick up a few more
black vests at Fashion Fair.
Toys!
I want to try out
that new lilac-scented
motor oil.
Toys!
How about you, Tuck?
Is there any particular store
you'd like to visit first?
Hmm, well, I could use
some new socks and underwear
or, we could go to...
Toys!
All right, this is it.
( customers shouting )
I'm going in.
Banzai!
Well, there goes
Tuck's college money.
Wow, what a mob.
It's survival of the craziest.
Oh, what's the use?
I never get what I
want for Christmas,
so why should the day
after be any different?
Aw, the poor tyke.
He should have gotten
something from Santa last night.
I could have sworn I followed
the Nice List to the letter.
Maybe I moved too quickly
and missed a worthy child.
Hey!
Jenny, some beefhead
tossed me out
of the action figure bin!
You've got to get me
back in there!
( chuckles )
Not to worry, Tuck.
Ally-oop.
Hold on tight.
Excuse me, pardon me.
Coming through.
Oh, my.
Thanks, Jenny,
you're the best.
That was amazing.
What about you?
Do you see anything
you want?
Oh, my, yes.
Now remember,
this is only temporary.
Kid, what
are you doing?
Jenny's not a toy.
Come on, Brad.
If Santa did skip
Todd Sweeney's house this year,
the least I can do
is give him one day
to play with a giant robot
action figure.
Well...
Jenny knows what
she's doing, Brad.
I trust her judgment implicitly.
A limo?
I didn't figure you
for a rich kid, Todd.
Money can't buy happiness.
It's clichéd, but true.
Well, you're living,
frowning proof of that.
( crow squawking )
JENNY:
No wonder Todd is so miserable.
No toys, no playmates.
Poor little rich kid.
What the...?
Now you're my slave.
You must do
my every bidding.
( giggling )
Sure thing.
I mean, yes, master.
Come, my robotic minion.
Yes, master.
This way, robot slave.
Yes, mas... ter?
Todd, I thought you said you
never get any presents?
I said I never get what I want.
On every holiday,
I'm showered with gifts,
but I never get the most
important gift of all.
Love?
No. Weapons!
Weap...
But it no longer matters.
For now I possess
the ultimate weapon... you!
( meows )
JENNY:
What the...?
What happened?
I am so out of here.
Oh, uh, pardon me, sir.
I really must
be leave... ing!
This is crazy.
I got to get out of here.
Hey, I'll take Santa's way out.
Master Todd,
the robot girl has escaped.
Yes, she's quite the dynamo.
But that's why we acquired her,
isn't it, Skeeves?
Don't worry, she'll be back.
Boy, am I glad that's over with.
( crunching thud )
Hey, everybody.
What's with all the gifts
the day after Christmas?
( screaming )
Well, happy holidays
to you, too.
Hi, Mr. Mailman.
( screams )
I guess he's still stressed
from the holiday rush.
Hey, Tommy, how's
the snow shoveling biz?
( screams )
That bad, huh?
Hey, Tuck, did you buy that sled
at the sale today?
( screaming )
What the heck is wrong?
Has everyone
turned into Scrooge?
All right, who threw that?
Brad?
Wolverines, attack!
Keep it up, gang.
Enough snow
and she'll short circuit!
He's right.
I've got to get away.
She's going to blow!
Everybody scatter!
( groans )
Maybe Mom will know
what's going on.
Mom?
( squeals ):
XJ-9!
( stammering ):
Uh, uh, what, uh, what
a surprise to see you.
Mom, you won't believe
the day I've had.
( chuckles nervously ):
Oh, really?
Well, why don't you
have a seat over there
and, uh, tell me
what happened?
Well, parts of it
are still a bit fuzzy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, you
just tell Mama all about it.
Skyway Patrol,
this is Mama Bird.
Baby Bird is in the nest.
First Tuck, then Brad,
and now my own mother!
The bird has left the roost!
Implement Plan B.
What's happening?
Why does everybody hate me?
XJ-9, you are under arrest.
Surrender immediately.
I didn't do anything!
( sniffs, growls )
( dogs barking )
( helicopter blades whirring )
( sirens blaring )
Down here!
( metal clangs )
POLICEMAN:
Nice shooting, Lieutenant.
We won't have to worry about
that washing machine anymore.
All right, all right.
Let's check the roof.
That was close.
I'll say.
Sheldon?
Sheldon!
Wait, you're not
scared of me?
Of course not,
Jenny. I...
Oh, Sheldon!
It's so good to see
a friendly face.
I can't believe
what I'm saying,
but we don't have
time for this.
Follow me.
Sheldon, what's going on?
I'm gone for a few hours,
and now, everyone's
out to get me.
A few hours?
What do you mean?
What do you mean,
what do I mean?
Tell me something, Jenny.
How do you feel
when I show you... these?
Easter eggs?
That's right--
simple, harmless
Easter eggs.
Don't you want
to crush them?
Uh, no.
Then what about this?!
Doesn't it fill you
with uncontrollable rage?!
No, but you're starting
to get on my nerves.
You really don't know
what's going on, do you?
Remember that morning
at the mall?
Duh, it was
this morning.
Actually, Jenny,
it was almost one year ago.
( gasps ):
No!
Yes, it's true.
After you got
into Todd Sweeney's limousine,
you never came home.
Then, on New Year's Eve,
you returned.
ALL:
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four,
three, two...
( all groaning )
We didn't see you again
until Groundhog Day.
( screams )
Every major holiday,
you'd return...
...to destroy it.
( crashing thud )
( fireworks exploding,
whistling )
( fireworks fizzing )
( explosion )
( burping )
( laughter )
( doorbell ringing )
CHILDREN:
Trick or treat!
( screaming )
( child sobbing )
( screaming )
( air expelling )
I don't recall
any of that.
Last thing I remember
is getting zapped
in the head by Todd.
I knew it.
I knew it was either mind
control or an evil twin.
Of course, no
one believed me.
Hey, wait!
What are you doing?
I'm going to tell people
the truth!
Are you kidding?
You're Public
Enemy Number One.
You're not going to
change their minds.
Maybe not,
but I know who can.
( groundhog
whimpering )
( clanging, whirring )
Welcome back, XJ-9.
Have you had a pleasant
Christmas Eve?
I'm turning you in,
Todd Sweeney.
I know you've been
secretly controlling me.
But who will believe you?
You're the renegade robot
who destroyed all the holidays.
But why?
Why destroy the holidays?
They're so cheerful.
Not anymore.
Not for a long time.
I remember my last real
Christmas like it was yesterday.
That year, Santa Claus
gave my parents
a luxury cruise to Bermuda.
I was left alone
with the servants.
My parents never returned.
They... retired.
They said they
had never been happier.
That day, I vowed
that if I could
feel no holiday joy,
then neither
would anyone else.
So far we've wrecked
every holiday,
except for the
fattest one of all.
But tonight,
we will destroy Christmas...
forever.
Not if I can help it.
Oh, but I don't think
you can.
( device beeping )
If we're going to
save Santa from Jenny,
we're going to need some
transport, Wakeman style.
MRS. WAKEMAN:
I'm way ahead
of you, boys.
This baby will take us
to the North Pole at Mach five.
You'll find some
supplies under the seat.
Whoa! A Robot Hurter 5000.
All right.
SHELDON:
What are you doing?
You can't hurt Jenny!
It's not her fault.
She's...
Yeah, yeah, mind control,
evil twin.
We've heard it all before.
We've sat back
while our so-called friend
has trashed every holiday
this year.
But not Christmas.
( cocks gun )
MASTER TODD:
You see, robot slave,
I've tried to ruin
Christmas before.
My first attempt
was a giant fog bank,
but a certain mutant reindeer
ruined that plan.
I almost triumphed last year
by incapacitating Claus himself,
until you stepped in
and spoiled everything.
Oh, well.
We'll just turn
last year's lemons
into this year's rampage
of destruction!
( laughing evilly )
( honking horn )
Yeah,
you'd better run!
( aircraft engine humming )
Hmm, quiet.
Not a creature
is stirring.
Old man Kringle
must be losing his edge.
( wind whipping )
Sugar plum fairies, fire!
Choking hazards, attack!
Baking battalion, flambé!
Cavalry, charge!
( crashing thud )
♪ ♪
( all choking )
Thank goodness
we have elf insurance.
SANTA:
There, I've made my list,
and I've checked it twice.
I've got just enough time
for one more plate of cookies.
Then, we saddle
up the reindeer,
and off I go!
I heard you'd gone over
to the Naughty List,
about how you were destroying
all the holidays.
Who turned you against me?
Heat Miser?
It doesn't matter.
You'll never destroy Christmas!
♪ ♪
You'll never
get away with this.
I know when you are sleeping.
I know when
you're awake.
( laughing )
You don't even know
who you're dealing with.
Behold, Santa,
gaze upon the true face
of the boy
who destroyed Christmas.
Why, you're the Sweeney boy.
You always received
plenty of toys.
Why do you want
to ruin Christmas?
Toys? Feh!
Your materialism
sickens me, Claus.
I never got what I wanted,
and now no one will!
( insane laughter )
I've got a Christmas
present for you--
a long, overdue spanking!
Jenny! You're back to normal.
Well, Santa,
actually, I...
( crashing )
Don't worry, Santa, old boy.
We'll save... you?
What's going on?
Where's all the
butt-kicking?
Well, as I was
just explaining,
Sheldon disabled Todd Sweeney's
mind-control device.
I was just faking it
until Todd confessed
in front of Santa.
XJ-9!
Yeah, Jenny's back!
( all crashing )
We never lost
faith in you, Jenny.
Is that a Robot Hurter 5000?
I'm so happy I can take your
name off the Naughty List.
Unfortunately, I'll have to add
yours, Todd Sweeney.
What does it matter?
I never get
what I want anyway.
And neither
will anyone else.
Weren't those
Tremorton's toys?
N-N-No toys?
( screams )
I might have a way we can
solve this toy shortage
and help Todd learn the true
meaning of Christmas.
( children laughing
and shouting )
Merry Christmas.
Oh, boy,
a bottle of hair tonic.
Merry Christmas, buddy.
A subscription to
Not So Popular Mechanics.
Merry Christmas
to my junior copilot.
My first piece
of anti-matter.
I don't understand.
It's as if they get
more joy from giving gifts
than from receiving them.
Why don't you
try it out?
( deep rumbling )
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
CROWD:
Hooray!
And some say his heart
grew three sizes that day.
MRS. SWEENEY:
Todd! Todd, honey!
Mother! Father! You're home!
Oh, my baby.
We missed you.
I thought you retired.
No, son, we said we were tired
and needed a longer vacation.
We would have been back sooner
but we wanted
to find you the perfect gift.
Oh, you guys
are all I want.
Christmas is about family,
not possessions.
You know, son,
you're right.
Hey, are those
my golf clubs?
Sheldon?
I have a special
gift for you.
This is for the one person
who never lost faith in me.
♪ We're spending
Christmas with Jenny ♪
♪ And we've never felt so gay ♪
♪ There's no better way
to celebrate ♪
♪ This holly, jolly, day ♪
♪ The air all smells like
Christmas pudding ♪
♪ And fresh-baked
Christmas bread ♪
♪ And my brain's about to burst
with sugar plums in my head ♪
♪ Like a plague
of festive vermin ♪
♪ Elves are
everywhere you look ♪
♪ In the air, on the sea ♪
♪ In every blessed little nook ♪
Hey!
♪ Watch Santa
when the turkey's carved... ♪
Who are you
guys singing to?
And how'd you memorize those
lyrics with no practice?
♪ ...I can feel
the season's happiness ♪
Guys?
♪ Within me as it flows ♪
Come on!
Snap out of it.
You're creeping me out.
Guys?! Guys!
♪ ...down to my mistletoes ♪
♪ Every other celebration
from now on will be just fine ♪
♪ There's nothing
that beats Christmas ♪
♪ With good old XJ-9. ♪
Frederator!
Santa!
Santa!
( robotic voice ):
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.
( feet screeching )
Around the world in 80 seconds.
Not bad, Santa.
Thanks, Mom. I mean...
( child's voice ):
Thanks, Mom.
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Oh, Jenny,
I'm so grateful.
After my mysterious accident,
I thought I'd have
to cancel Christmas,
but thanks to you,
all the presents
were delivered
in record time.
I got to hand it to you, Jen,
I thought you were nuts
trying to sit in for Santa,
but you really
pulled it off.
I never doubted her
for a second.
Well, I couldn't
have done it alone. I...
Want to thank us for our
all-important moral support?
Well, I'm... ready.
Huh?
Actually, I wanted to give
some props to my mom.
Thanks to her patented
Kringle-Chip technology,
nobody noticed
the Santa switch.
TUCK:
I don't know, Jenny.
This belly doesn't feel
like a bowl full of jelly to me.
Nope, no jelly.
Just a huge haul
of milk and cookies.
Yahoo!
Don't fill up on cookies, Tuck,
because you're all invited
to our day-long Christmas feast.
ALL:
Hooray!
♪ We're spending
Christmas with Santa ♪
♪ We never felt so gay ♪
♪ There's no better way ♪
♪ To celebrate this
holly, jolly day ♪
♪ The air all smells
like Christmas pudding ♪
♪ And fresh-baked
Christmas bread ♪
♪ And my brain's about to burst
with sugar plums in my head ♪
♪ Like a plague
of festive vermin ♪
♪ Elves are everywhere
you look ♪
♪ In the air, on the sea,
and every blessed little nook ♪
♪ Watch Santa
when the turkey's carved ♪
♪ He'll eat half
then pass the rest ♪
♪ Don't step between
his plate and him ♪
♪ That's if you know
what's best ♪
♪ I can feel the season's
happiness within me ♪
♪ As it flows ♪
♪ From the tip top on my missile
head down to my missile toes ♪
♪ Every other celebration
from now on will pale because ♪
♪ There's nothing
that beats Christmas ♪
♪ With good old Santa Claus. ♪
Thanks again,
Mr. and Mrs. Claus.
Everything was wonderful.
Thank you, Jennifer.
Come back anytime.
Be good, everyone.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
So fellas, how are you
going to spend
your day after
Christmas?
Same way as everyone else.
Taking advantage of all
the sales at the mall.
Sales?
Well, XJ-9, the Tremorton Mall
opens in less than five minutes.
So as a reward
for a job well done,
take this credit card and...
...have fun.
Doggone it, Tuck,
you're weighing us down.
JENNY:
Well, guys, we made it.
Where should we go first?
Toys, toys, toys.
I hear the Gadget Shack
is having a sale on widgets.
Toys!
I could pick up a few more
black vests at Fashion Fair.
Toys!
I want to try out
that new lilac-scented
motor oil.
Toys!
How about you, Tuck?
Is there any particular store
you'd like to visit first?
Hmm, well, I could use
some new socks and underwear
or, we could go to...
Toys!
All right, this is it.
( customers shouting )
I'm going in.
Banzai!
Well, there goes
Tuck's college money.
Wow, what a mob.
It's survival of the craziest.
Oh, what's the use?
I never get what I
want for Christmas,
so why should the day
after be any different?
Aw, the poor tyke.
He should have gotten
something from Santa last night.
I could have sworn I followed
the Nice List to the letter.
Maybe I moved too quickly
and missed a worthy child.
Hey!
Jenny, some beefhead
tossed me out
of the action figure bin!
You've got to get me
back in there!
( chuckles )
Not to worry, Tuck.
Ally-oop.
Hold on tight.
Excuse me, pardon me.
Coming through.
Oh, my.
Thanks, Jenny,
you're the best.
That was amazing.
What about you?
Do you see anything
you want?
Oh, my, yes.
Now remember,
this is only temporary.
Kid, what
are you doing?
Jenny's not a toy.
Come on, Brad.
If Santa did skip
Todd Sweeney's house this year,
the least I can do
is give him one day
to play with a giant robot
action figure.
Well...
Jenny knows what
she's doing, Brad.
I trust her judgment implicitly.
A limo?
I didn't figure you
for a rich kid, Todd.
Money can't buy happiness.
It's clichéd, but true.
Well, you're living,
frowning proof of that.
( crow squawking )
JENNY:
No wonder Todd is so miserable.
No toys, no playmates.
Poor little rich kid.
What the...?
Now you're my slave.
You must do
my every bidding.
( giggling )
Sure thing.
I mean, yes, master.
Come, my robotic minion.
Yes, master.
This way, robot slave.
Yes, mas... ter?
Todd, I thought you said you
never get any presents?
I said I never get what I want.
On every holiday,
I'm showered with gifts,
but I never get the most
important gift of all.
Love?
No. Weapons!
Weap...
But it no longer matters.
For now I possess
the ultimate weapon... you!
( meows )
JENNY:
What the...?
What happened?
I am so out of here.
Oh, uh, pardon me, sir.
I really must
be leave... ing!
This is crazy.
I got to get out of here.
Hey, I'll take Santa's way out.
Master Todd,
the robot girl has escaped.
Yes, she's quite the dynamo.
But that's why we acquired her,
isn't it, Skeeves?
Don't worry, she'll be back.
Boy, am I glad that's over with.
( crunching thud )
Hey, everybody.
What's with all the gifts
the day after Christmas?
( screaming )
Well, happy holidays
to you, too.
Hi, Mr. Mailman.
( screams )
I guess he's still stressed
from the holiday rush.
Hey, Tommy, how's
the snow shoveling biz?
( screams )
That bad, huh?
Hey, Tuck, did you buy that sled
at the sale today?
( screaming )
What the heck is wrong?
Has everyone
turned into Scrooge?
All right, who threw that?
Brad?
Wolverines, attack!
Keep it up, gang.
Enough snow
and she'll short circuit!
He's right.
I've got to get away.
She's going to blow!
Everybody scatter!
( groans )
Maybe Mom will know
what's going on.
Mom?
( squeals ):
XJ-9!
( stammering ):
Uh, uh, what, uh, what
a surprise to see you.
Mom, you won't believe
the day I've had.
( chuckles nervously ):
Oh, really?
Well, why don't you
have a seat over there
and, uh, tell me
what happened?
Well, parts of it
are still a bit fuzzy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, you
just tell Mama all about it.
Skyway Patrol,
this is Mama Bird.
Baby Bird is in the nest.
First Tuck, then Brad,
and now my own mother!
The bird has left the roost!
Implement Plan B.
What's happening?
Why does everybody hate me?
XJ-9, you are under arrest.
Surrender immediately.
I didn't do anything!
( sniffs, growls )
( dogs barking )
( helicopter blades whirring )
( sirens blaring )
Down here!
( metal clangs )
POLICEMAN:
Nice shooting, Lieutenant.
We won't have to worry about
that washing machine anymore.
All right, all right.
Let's check the roof.
That was close.
I'll say.
Sheldon?
Sheldon!
Wait, you're not
scared of me?
Of course not,
Jenny. I...
Oh, Sheldon!
It's so good to see
a friendly face.
I can't believe
what I'm saying,
but we don't have
time for this.
Follow me.
Sheldon, what's going on?
I'm gone for a few hours,
and now, everyone's
out to get me.
A few hours?
What do you mean?
What do you mean,
what do I mean?
Tell me something, Jenny.
How do you feel
when I show you... these?
Easter eggs?
That's right--
simple, harmless
Easter eggs.
Don't you want
to crush them?
Uh, no.
Then what about this?!
Doesn't it fill you
with uncontrollable rage?!
No, but you're starting
to get on my nerves.
You really don't know
what's going on, do you?
Remember that morning
at the mall?
Duh, it was
this morning.
Actually, Jenny,
it was almost one year ago.
( gasps ):
No!
Yes, it's true.
After you got
into Todd Sweeney's limousine,
you never came home.
Then, on New Year's Eve,
you returned.
ALL:
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four,
three, two...
( all groaning )
We didn't see you again
until Groundhog Day.
( screams )
Every major holiday,
you'd return...
...to destroy it.
( crashing thud )
( fireworks exploding,
whistling )
( fireworks fizzing )
( explosion )
( burping )
( laughter )
( doorbell ringing )
CHILDREN:
Trick or treat!
( screaming )
( child sobbing )
( screaming )
( air expelling )
I don't recall
any of that.
Last thing I remember
is getting zapped
in the head by Todd.
I knew it.
I knew it was either mind
control or an evil twin.
Of course, no
one believed me.
Hey, wait!
What are you doing?
I'm going to tell people
the truth!
Are you kidding?
You're Public
Enemy Number One.
You're not going to
change their minds.
Maybe not,
but I know who can.
( groundhog
whimpering )
( clanging, whirring )
Welcome back, XJ-9.
Have you had a pleasant
Christmas Eve?
I'm turning you in,
Todd Sweeney.
I know you've been
secretly controlling me.
But who will believe you?
You're the renegade robot
who destroyed all the holidays.
But why?
Why destroy the holidays?
They're so cheerful.
Not anymore.
Not for a long time.
I remember my last real
Christmas like it was yesterday.
That year, Santa Claus
gave my parents
a luxury cruise to Bermuda.
I was left alone
with the servants.
My parents never returned.
They... retired.
They said they
had never been happier.
That day, I vowed
that if I could
feel no holiday joy,
then neither
would anyone else.
So far we've wrecked
every holiday,
except for the
fattest one of all.
But tonight,
we will destroy Christmas...
forever.
Not if I can help it.
Oh, but I don't think
you can.
( device beeping )
If we're going to
save Santa from Jenny,
we're going to need some
transport, Wakeman style.
MRS. WAKEMAN:
I'm way ahead
of you, boys.
This baby will take us
to the North Pole at Mach five.
You'll find some
supplies under the seat.
Whoa! A Robot Hurter 5000.
All right.
SHELDON:
What are you doing?
You can't hurt Jenny!
It's not her fault.
She's...
Yeah, yeah, mind control,
evil twin.
We've heard it all before.
We've sat back
while our so-called friend
has trashed every holiday
this year.
But not Christmas.
( cocks gun )
MASTER TODD:
You see, robot slave,
I've tried to ruin
Christmas before.
My first attempt
was a giant fog bank,
but a certain mutant reindeer
ruined that plan.
I almost triumphed last year
by incapacitating Claus himself,
until you stepped in
and spoiled everything.
Oh, well.
We'll just turn
last year's lemons
into this year's rampage
of destruction!
( laughing evilly )
( honking horn )
Yeah,
you'd better run!
( aircraft engine humming )
Hmm, quiet.
Not a creature
is stirring.
Old man Kringle
must be losing his edge.
( wind whipping )
Sugar plum fairies, fire!
Choking hazards, attack!
Baking battalion, flambé!
Cavalry, charge!
( crashing thud )
♪ ♪
( all choking )
Thank goodness
we have elf insurance.
SANTA:
There, I've made my list,
and I've checked it twice.
I've got just enough time
for one more plate of cookies.
Then, we saddle
up the reindeer,
and off I go!
I heard you'd gone over
to the Naughty List,
about how you were destroying
all the holidays.
Who turned you against me?
Heat Miser?
It doesn't matter.
You'll never destroy Christmas!
♪ ♪
You'll never
get away with this.
I know when you are sleeping.
I know when
you're awake.
( laughing )
You don't even know
who you're dealing with.
Behold, Santa,
gaze upon the true face
of the boy
who destroyed Christmas.
Why, you're the Sweeney boy.
You always received
plenty of toys.
Why do you want
to ruin Christmas?
Toys? Feh!
Your materialism
sickens me, Claus.
I never got what I wanted,
and now no one will!
( insane laughter )
I've got a Christmas
present for you--
a long, overdue spanking!
Jenny! You're back to normal.
Well, Santa,
actually, I...
( crashing )
Don't worry, Santa, old boy.
We'll save... you?
What's going on?
Where's all the
butt-kicking?
Well, as I was
just explaining,
Sheldon disabled Todd Sweeney's
mind-control device.
I was just faking it
until Todd confessed
in front of Santa.
XJ-9!
Yeah, Jenny's back!
( all crashing )
We never lost
faith in you, Jenny.
Is that a Robot Hurter 5000?
I'm so happy I can take your
name off the Naughty List.
Unfortunately, I'll have to add
yours, Todd Sweeney.
What does it matter?
I never get
what I want anyway.
And neither
will anyone else.
Weren't those
Tremorton's toys?
N-N-No toys?
( screams )
I might have a way we can
solve this toy shortage
and help Todd learn the true
meaning of Christmas.
( children laughing
and shouting )
Merry Christmas.
Oh, boy,
a bottle of hair tonic.
Merry Christmas, buddy.
A subscription to
Not So Popular Mechanics.
Merry Christmas
to my junior copilot.
My first piece
of anti-matter.
I don't understand.
It's as if they get
more joy from giving gifts
than from receiving them.
Why don't you
try it out?
( deep rumbling )
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
CROWD:
Hooray!
And some say his heart
grew three sizes that day.
MRS. SWEENEY:
Todd! Todd, honey!
Mother! Father! You're home!
Oh, my baby.
We missed you.
I thought you retired.
No, son, we said we were tired
and needed a longer vacation.
We would have been back sooner
but we wanted
to find you the perfect gift.
Oh, you guys
are all I want.
Christmas is about family,
not possessions.
You know, son,
you're right.
Hey, are those
my golf clubs?
Sheldon?
I have a special
gift for you.
This is for the one person
who never lost faith in me.
♪ We're spending
Christmas with Jenny ♪
♪ And we've never felt so gay ♪
♪ There's no better way
to celebrate ♪
♪ This holly, jolly, day ♪
♪ The air all smells like
Christmas pudding ♪
♪ And fresh-baked
Christmas bread ♪
♪ And my brain's about to burst
with sugar plums in my head ♪
♪ Like a plague
of festive vermin ♪
♪ Elves are
everywhere you look ♪
♪ In the air, on the sea ♪
♪ In every blessed little nook ♪
Hey!
♪ Watch Santa
when the turkey's carved... ♪
Who are you
guys singing to?
And how'd you memorize those
lyrics with no practice?
♪ ...I can feel
the season's happiness ♪
Guys?
♪ Within me as it flows ♪
Come on!
Snap out of it.
You're creeping me out.
Guys?! Guys!
♪ ...down to my mistletoes ♪
♪ Every other celebration
from now on will be just fine ♪
♪ There's nothing
that beats Christmas ♪
♪ With good old XJ-9. ♪
Frederator!