My Life Is Murder (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Boyfriend Experience - full transcript

Tell me, would you say that you're
more of an electrician or a plumber?

I'm pretty versatile.

Well, surely you specialise.

I trained as a carpenter.
Worked as a chippie back in the day.

Hey, you don't think
you could fix my Loobenschwegen?

Your... your what, sorry?

An industrial bread processor.
Mine's malfunctioning.

I could certainly give it a try...

...if that would bring you pleasure.

It would.

Seriously, though, we should meet.



I can tailor an intimate experience
especially for you.

The boyfriend experience.

Does that mean
we fight over the TV remote?

Well, if that's what turns you on.

But I think we can set the bar
a bit higher than that.

I guarantee you, Alexa,

this will be better than
any boyfriend you've ever had.

Well, that sounds fabulous.

And expensive!

Oh, it'll be worth it.

I promise.

Well, I have had a hard week.

And zis ve do wis
absolute precision.

Like that.



OK, here we go. And...

Bugger!

European technology, huh?

Oh, I know you're across all that.

Oh, hello.

Hmm.

Look, make yourself useful,
would you? Read the manual.

It's in German.
Then go home, wherever that is.

Coffee? You said coffee.

Yeah, I've ordered. Hear me out.

I need you to help me
with something.

Jennifer Chi, 41.

Fell from her apartment building
in Docklands.

I'm retired, Kieran.
You were in the room when I did it.

She went over a balcony
on the 19th floor.

"Think of the police pension,"
you said.

56 kilos.

It took her about 2.5 seconds
to get to the ground.

Hit the pavement at about 70km/h.

How many storeys?
19.

3.5 seconds. But you know numbers
don't impress me.

I'm sorry, I'm out.

Coroner said it was an accident.

Not enough evidence
to prove otherwise.

So did she jump or was she pushed -
is that the question?

Nearest witness was a jogger.

A phone hit the concrete
in front of her.

She heard a scream.

She don't ever forget it.

The apartment
belongs to a male escort.

Dylan Giroux.

Jennifer Chi was a client.

OK. It doesn't make him a killer.

She gave him a lot of money
in the month before she died.

I believe
that is the general principle

when paying for a service, Kieran.

Giroux says he wasn't
in the apartment at the time.

Went downstairs to get wine.

And does that check out?

Security cameras malfunctioned.

So you reckon he pushed her
off a balcony, raced down,

and acted like
he was there all the time?

It's possible. Technically.

Career woman, owned
a couple of businesses.

Single, no kids.

Liked margaritas, Crowded House,
and watching Roger Federer.

"To the living we owe respect.
To the dead, the truth."

Someone really famous said that.

I thought it was you.

Nice try. No banana.

You're still the best investigator
I know, Alexa.

You're shit at retirement.
You don't play golf.

I bake bread.

I bet you're getting sick of that
by now.

No, I love it.

Take the file.

Read the case notes.

Read the coroner's brief.

Fresh eyes, objective appraisal.

If we've missed something,
anything, let me know.

I'm a very busy woman, Kieran.

Jennifer Chi
deserved a better outcome.

I've got a data analyst for you.

Are you deaf?
Madison.

Madison's a kid.

She's a very smart kid.
She worships you.

Call her. Anyway, I've got to go.
Enjoy your coffee.

Ay-ay-ay-ay.

Crowded House?

I like Crowded House.
I know.

Oh, thank you very much.

Madison, you're up to your eyeballs.

Oh, sorry?

It just sounds like you're
overwhelmed by your workload.

You don't need me piling more on.
No, no, no, no.

I can do this job easy, in my sleep.

Yeah, I'd rather that you
stayed awake during my stuff.

And I don't want to be bounced
to the bottom of the pile.

I'm really glad you called.

Look, can I just say
what a privilege...

No, don't do that.

I want you to look for
offshore accounts -

Cook Islands, shell companies -

anywhere that Dylan Giroux
might have stashed money.

Get off. Sniper!

Are you gaming?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was outsniped.

Out what?

It's an online auction.
I was outbid.

I'm sorry, Alexa. I can explain.

An online auction, seriously?

That's what I'm competing with?
No, you're not.

I was bidding on the Schmilford.

It's the, uh, Rolls Royce
of portable vacuum cleaners.

Oh, my God, you said that out loud.

But I want one so bad.

Badly.

Please, just let me
make it up to you, OK?

So this Dylan guy,
have you looked at his website?

He's a male escort.
I'm aware.

How's his body?

And why are there
no pictures of his face?

I don't know. Maybe he just wants
some privacy.

So you're going undercover?

Oh, my God. Are you gonna
have sex with him?

Excuse me, Madison, this is work.

Holy shit, that's a yes!

Well, I'm sure he's just my type.

Oh, I bet he wants to be an actor
and he has mother issues

and he's a narcissist.

It's fun to judge.

Hey, make sure you meet him
in public. He might be weird.

This from someone
who's hot for a vacuum cleaner?

Oh.

Oh. Do you have a cat?

Could you just focus
on the financials, please?

Save those
dirty pics for later.

Come on, I want to find out
where Dylan's hidden the money.

I'm already onto it.

I've downloaded his accounts
and his financial records.

Ooh.

Hey, you don't think
you could fix my Loobenschwegen?

Your... your what, sorry?

An industrial bread processor.
Mine's malfunctioning.

I could certainly give it a try...

...if that would bring you pleasure.

It would.

Seriously, though, we should meet.

I can tailor an intimate experience
especially for you.

The boyfriend experience.

I love the smell
of fresh bread first thing.

White or multigrain?

You have really nice eyes.

You say that
to all the girls, don't you?

Not all of them.
I kind of mix it up a bit.

Yeah.
But if it's true, why not say it?

How did a nice boy like you
end up in escort work?

Nah, we don't want to talk
about work on a beautiful day.

I'm curious.

Normal childhood, grew up
in Melbourne, happy, loving parents.

Worked as a tradie.

So you just fell into sex work?

I did my first gig
kind of as a dare to myself.

And I had fun.

I mean, it feels pretty wild
getting paid to have sex

just to make people happy.

So I thought,
"OK, I'll give it one month."

Three years later,
I own my apartment.

What's your story?

I was a civil servant, of sorts,

and then I came into some money
by way of an inheritance

and I just didn't need
to work anymore.

So I stopped.

You bake bread instead.
Uh-huh.

Would you like to see my place?

Top up?

Yeah, thanks.

It's quite a way down, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, I love this view.

It must be amazing at sunset.
Yeah.

It's not sunset over the ocean,
but still, it's amazing.

Ooh!

I don't think you're meant
to look straight down, Alexa.

I don't think
I'm all that good at heights.

It's OK.
Mm.

I got you.

You have wonderful hands.

Should we take this inside?

To the bedroom?

The thing is, Dylan...

...it's kind of a first date,
you know?

Sure.
Just the first.

It's up to you.
Yes, it is.

I'll call you.

Hi, Bob.

I'm looking to buy
an apartment here,

only I've got some
security concerns.

Oh, well, security's top-notch here.

Oh, yeah, you got,
uh, cameras that work?

Cameras? We got... got...

Uh, cameras, yes. Yes, cameras.
All over the building.

Oh, is that what you're looking at?
Can I see?

Hey, hey, you can't
come around this side.

Well, why not?

Well, because this is...
this is my side.

That... that... that's your side
down there.

OK. Wow.

I'm sorry, I just didn't see that
there was a line designating sides.

Well, there's a plinth.
That's the line. That's the line.

The plinth is the line. You have to
stay on that side of the plinth.

Yes. And this is my side.
Yeah, fair enough.

If you can just, uh...

OK, it's just that I've got a friend

and he lives on one of
the upper floors...

Well, you'll probably just have to talk
to your real-estate agent about that.

I'm... I'm really sorry.

OK, well, thank you.

Bye now.
Bye.

These are great. Keep them handy.

So when you say you went there,
you mean you went...

To his apartment.

But you saw him. Dylan, as in.

Yes, with his clothes on.
He seemed quite normal to me.

Hmm, you liked him!

OK, you know who we need
to take another look at?

This guy.
Bob Noble, the building manager.

He couldn't get rid of me fast enough

and the case notes say
he's a convicted sex pest.

Right, well, um, I found nothing
suss in Dylan's financials.

No secondary accounts,
no shell corporations, so far.

Ah.
Do you think he's clean?

He says he's from Melbourne.
And?

I just think maybe he's from Perth.

It's just a comment he made
about sunset on the ocean

and then a picture in his apartment.

Oh!

Are you sure you don't have a cat?

Yep, positive.

♪ All my dreaming

♪ All my wishing

♪ It hasn't come through

♪ Life's just like that

♪ And I don't know what

♪ I am looking for

♪ But when I find it

♪ It will feel right... ♪

Alright.

I will conquer this.

As an artisan.

As a worker who understands
the nature of her instruments.

And ze repairer
of zis, you know.

Hey, if you're gonna
sit there, just make yourself useful.

Hand me that schraubenzieher, bitte.

Come on!

Oh, you're very good boy!

Genius.

You're good enough to be MY cat.

OK.

Here we go, mate. Ready?

Shit.

Hey! I was in the neighbourhood.

Sorry, bad time?

Hi. How are you?
Hi.

Hi.
This is nice.

I truly was just driving past.

I've been trying to call you.
Oh, yeah, sorry.

I was just on the phone to Germany.

You know, so-called
service department.

You actually use this thing?
Yep, all the time.

What's up?

I just wanna talk through the case.

Oh, Jennifer Chi withdrew
close to 40 grand in cash.

If she's given Dylan that kind
of money, why would he kill her?

Well, according to her friends,
she was infatuated with him.

More than one believes she jumped
after Dylan rejected her.

But then maybe she just
wouldn't take no for an answer.

Nah, I looked at those angles.

Jennifer Chi was single,
happy, strong.

She was lonely. Paying for sex.

Paying for sex doesn't
make you lonely, Kieran.

It makes you practical.

I can see the sense in it.

Can you?
Hell, yeah.

Why not?

'Cause you would want
someone you care about.

Or at least enjoy talking to.

You've got friends
for chatting, Kieran.

You don't need friends for sex.

Don't I?

One... one doesn't.

One.

Hey, speaking of friends,

I've actually got somebody coming
over shortly and I need to get ready.

OK. I'll leave you to it.

Tell me he's not coming here.

Dylan Giroux.
I'm a big girl, Kieran.

And besides, no,
it's just an old flatmate.

Oh, my parents were always on at me
to go into the public service

so I'd have a job for life.

So I did it.

Then they spent years
nagging me to get out.

I wouldn't know what that's like.

So how do your happy, loving parents
feel about your work?

They're very straight, suburban.

I don't want to freak 'em out.

Where'd you say you grew up?

Oakleigh.

Oh, that is in the 'burbs.

Travelled much?

I've been too busy working.

But I'd like to, you know.

I just need to expand the business,
take it to the next level,

hire people to work for me.

Oh, like an agency.
Exactly.

You know, it's usually all
about the client, the conversation.

You don't talk about you.

God, no. Not if I can help it.

Hey, speaking of clients...

I know this is a bit weird, but...

...I read about a person
who fell off...

Jennifer.

Oh, you knew her? Yeah, sorry,
I just read a lot of tabloids.

No, it's OK.
You've done your research.

Jen was a... a client.

More than that,
she was a friend, truly.

Terrible accident.

Oh, that's awful.

Yeah, I...

Sorry, Dylan.

Uh, um, I know you're not supposed
to mix the line

between client, friend, whatever,
but... Jen was a one off.

But you saw a lot of her?

She was going to be
a silent partner in the agency.

She put up the money
to get it started.

You were in business?

Close to 40 grand, she gave me.
In cash.

She said she didn't want her name
on the legals.

Did I put lemon in that?

No. But I did.

Oh.
It needs more chilli.

If that's cool with you.

Yeah, I like my guacamole spicy.
Yeah.

It's good.

Mm.
Mm.

That was delicious.

You made it. Thank you.

It's all part of the service.

Speaking of which...

Oh... I'll get my credit card.

No! No, sorry.
No, I didn't mean that.

Transfer it later. Sit down.

I wasn't talking about that.

Sorry, that was clumsy.

Oh, I'll get it paid.

Let's not talk about money.

OK.

So you're still gonna
open the agency?

As long as that's your money?

Look, I don't know, to be honest.

After Jen's accident
I gave the money away.

You what?!

I donated it to charity.

It just felt wrong
to spend it on myself.

Charity? What charity?

Kolarov Foundation.

Kolarov.
Breast cancer.

I lost my sister.

We were pretty close.

You've got something in your teeth.

Huh?

You've got a little...
Oh.

Excuse me.

The Rygate V2 with UVT -

ultimate vibratory technology.

It will agitate the surface
as a prelude to suction.

Call Klaus.

Sorry, I have to take a call.
Just one second.

Hey. What's up?

I need some
financial info.

Right, what's it about?

Kolarov Cancer Foundation.

A charitable donation from Dylan.
OK.

Can you just give me a minute?
I'm in the middle of...

I'll pay you double.
Double what? You don't pay me!

I'll get Kieran to pay you triple.

I'm e-mailing the details now, OK?

It's an emergency. I'm standing by.

Ah, I'll take the vibrator one.

The Rygate?
We only have one left in stock.

Yeah, I'll pick it up.
Um, madam...

This is some serious hardware.

Don't mention the war.

I've got to wait two weeks
to get the part I need to fix it.

I love how passionate you are
about the things that you love.

Seriously, though, how can
someone like you be single?

You're smart, you're attractive...

Allergic to compliments.

Want some dessert?

I couldn't eat another thing.

Except maybe you...

Was that too much?
My God.

Seriously, though,
you look delicious.

Yeah, oh...

Don't answer that, please.
I should get it.

You should totally not.

Hold that thought.

Alexa, here.

Yeah, well, obviously.

I looked deeper into his accounts
and it's all true.

Dylan donated $35,000
to the Kolarov Foundation.

They're a registered
breast cancer charity.

Really?

The money came via a company
called Arazzag Investments.

Say again.

A-R-A-Z-Z-A-G - Arazzag.

Dylan's the sole director.
It all looks legit.

Hmm, well, thanks a lot.

If he gave the money away,
then clearly he didn't kill her.

In which case,
he's probs innocent and hot.

Yeah, it has been hot.

Well, um, thanks for calling, eh?

What, are you with him now?
OK. Ta-ta.

"Thanks, Madison. You're amazing."

I made myself comfortable.
I hope you don't mind.

Did you go through my drawers?

Why would I do that?
You tell me.

You being paranoid?

I'm being observant.
There's a difference.

Do you do that
with all your clients?

Never.

Unless they're cops.

Or ex-cops.

You know, I'm OK with it.
It's just...

It's just weird you didn't tell me.

Well, I kind of did.

You used to be a public servant.

Technically true.

I get it.

Let's just call it even.

Have a little fun. Come to bed.

Nah, not today, eh?

Next time.

Five years ago,
Dylan Giroux did not exist.

You mean, he wasn't on Instagram?

No, I mean he wasn't on anything.

Not just social media.
There was no online trace at all.

So you trawled through
the birth notices, court legals?

Yeah, Australia wide.
There's nothing.

Mm, so he changed his name.

OK, come on, we've got
to get a wriggle on.

Where are we going exactly?
You'll see.

OK, no, that means something bad's
gonna happen. I know you, Alexa.

It's fine.

You're my girlfriend and we're
gonna go look at an apartment.

What? That is so not right.

What?

Pretending to be lesbians.
It's sexuality appropriation.

It'll titillate Bob
and that's what I need.

It's workplace harassment.

No-one's harassing you!

It's workplace weirdness,
at the very least.

Get used to it.

So, it's a beautiful apartment.

Everything you need.

Oh, Bob, it's lovely.

What do you think, Poochy?

Oh, it's alright.

Nice big bedrooms.

Well, we could have
some fun in there.

You should get Mr Noble
to show you the shower, love.

What?!

Well, you know how fussy you are
about the water pressure.

All five-star showerheads.
Just like the...

So, what's the difference
between five-star showerheads

and other types of showerheads?

Mr Noble? Bob?
Yeah?

These, uh, these lights
don't appear to be working.

Oh, well, that'd just be the globes.

I can, uh, I can have those
replaced for you.

No, but I want to know
that everything's, you know,

in order, electrically.

Oh, it's all... all fine.

Well, it's not, really, because,
look, see, I can't quite reach.

Yeah.
Can you help me with...

Oh, no, look, I...
I can't do that now.

I need to get back downstairs.

So if we're all done...
Oh, we're done.

Oh, great. Great, I can walk
you back down then.

You ever call me Poochy again,
I quit.

Fair enough.

Hey, I texted you a name.

I want you to run it
through the database

when you get back to work.

Gazzara?

Yeah, Western Australia, especially.

OK, what... But where are you going?

The car park.

I think our Bob's been lying to us.

Let's see.

Bob?

Bob Noble!

Whoo!

Yeah, give it to him,
the dirty old bugger.

I'm really sorry to bother you
about this, Mr Noble...

That's quite OK. No problem.

It's just about this
security camera...

Holy shit, what are you doing?

It appears not to be working, Bob.

Are you nuts?
No.

I'm actually a security consultant,

and strata management have hired me
to assess this building.

These cameras are rubbish.

Bullshit. They're top of the range.

Oh, the ones in the lobby, maybe.

They're American-made.
But these are cheap crap.

So talk to me. I can help you.

Let me guess, Bob.

You spent the security budget,
but not on security.

Was it gambling?

If strata find out about this I'm
gonna lose me job, you know that?

Oh, you're not gonna
lose your job, Bob.

I'm here to offer you a deal.

Talk to the building guy?

It wasn't Bob.

Did you see the way he was sweating?

He's got a morbid fear of heights.

He'd no more be out on that balcony
than fly to the moon.

Give me some good news.

Uh, well, there's a Charles David
Gazzara in jail in Perth.

How old is he?
Ah, 62.

Got any kids?
Ah, yeah, a son. David.

Same age as... Dylan Giroux.
Same age as Dylan Giroux.

How do you know that?

The company name,
Arazzag Investments.

It's Gazzara backwards.

So Dylan and David Gazzara
are the same person.

Bet on it.
He's not from Melbourne.

He's certainly never been a chippie,
his hands are too soft,

and his dad's a crim.

Why would he lie about that
and give all the money away?

I think maybe
that was the plan all along.

Why, what's the point?
I don't know.

Hey, why do you sound funny?

I'm getting ready to go out.

You know what, Dylan knew that those
cameras weren't working all along.

I found that out from Bob.
But Bob's a sleaze.

He could be lying
to implicate Dylan.

Yeah, could be.

Listen, I'm in a bit of a hurry,

but, tell me, what's more high
society - yellow perfume or pink?

OK, tell me you're not going out
with Dylan/David/Mr Gazzara/Giroux.

Pink. Thanks.

♪ Too hot

♪ Ooh, I'm too hot to handle
♪ Too hot

♪ Ooh, I'm too hot to touch
♪ Too hot

♪ Ooh, I'm too hot to handle
♪ Hot, hot

♪ I just can't get enough
♪ Too hot

♪ Ooh, I'm too hot to handle

♪ Too hot, hot. ♪

I am such a huge fan
of Lillian Kolarov.

The foundation does amazing work.

Lillian's not available
at present, I'm sorry.

I could book you in for Monday.

Is she going to be here
this afternoon?

She will be.
But this event is invite only.

Well, I'm sure you could squeeze in
just one more seat.

I want to make a sizeable donation.

And I'll be sure to tell Lillian

that it was you
who sweet-talked me into it.

I'll see what I can do.

Great.

♪ Oh, I'm too hot, babe... ♪

This is Madison Feliciano.
Leave a message.

Madison?

Get yourself a new frock.
You're going to the ball.

Balcony deaths.

Number of.

Holy shitzenheizen!

Do you know how many people fell
to their deaths from balconies?

Nine last year.
And that was just Poms in Spain.

His girlfriend went off a balcony.

Our friend David, Dylan,
whatever the hell his name is,

his girlfriend, Nadia,

went off a balcony
six years ago in Perth.

It was ruled a suicide, but...

Get this.

Neighbours say that Nadia may have
struggled or fought with somebody

before she fell.

Anything to link to Dylan?
Uh...

A boyfriend named David, same age.

Assisting police, yada, yada.
Doesn't give a surname.

Hey, are you at work?
Can you look something up for me?

No, I'm cleaning my car.

Oh, of course you are.

Then I have to go to a fundraiser,
unless you want me not to go.

No, no, no, you go to that
and make sure he's there.

And if he leaves,
call me immediately.

Oh, you sonofagun.

Come on, Bob.
You didn't skimp on smoke detectors.

Yes!

What?

Bloody vacuum cleaner!

No, no, I didn't. I didn't.

Uber. Uber time.

OK.

Two minutes.

Five. 20 minutes.
Are you kidding me?

It's not New Year's Eve!

♪ Ha! 19-20-20, 19-20-20

♪ 19-20-20, 19... ♪
Hello, Dylan?

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I think I found you
in an unknown location

♪ I think I left you
in a strange position-tion-tion

♪ 19-20-20, 19-20-20,
19-20-20, 19-20-20,

♪ 19-19-19-19

♪ 19-20-20... ♪

I'll be inside waiting.

Hey!

Oh, it's a private function, sorry.

Oh, that's why I'm here,
the Kolarov Foundation.

My name's Madison Feliciano.

Yeah, I'm on the list.

Oh, actually,
I might be Alexa Crowe.

That's my stage name.

It's a private function. Sorry.

Well, I was invited. By Lillian.
Lillian Kolarov.

She's, like, my friend.

Oh.

What can I say? I missed you.

What the fuck?

I can't believe you think that.

You think I killed Jennifer?

Seriously?

Why would I?

She was my friend.
We were in business.

Friendship and business.
That never goes sour.

I gave the money away,
for Christ's sakes.

You gave the money
to Lillian Kolarov.

Someone vastly more wealthy
than poor old Jennifer Chi.

Forget setting you up in business,
she could have set you up for life.

You'd never have to work again.

That is your own weird fantasy.

No, you've been grooming her
for months, haven't you?

You even kept that photo of
the two of you at the spring ball.

I went to a charity ball.

So what?

You were there with a client?

Please not Jennifer Chi.

No, I told you,
I lost my sister to breast cancer.

Yeah, unfortunately,
I'm not in a position

to confirm or disprove that.

I'm sorry, if it's true.

I suspect you had
a really crap childhood.

Kid from Beigeville.

Suburban boy made good.

Oh, you work it so hard
you almost believe it.

You're the one with the issue here.

You realise
you're not a cop anymore?

All that stuff, this made-up story,
it doesn't even make sense.

But it does.

Jennifer gave you the money
and you pledged it to Lillian.

And when Jennifer found out,
oh, she was furious.

You can't prove any of this.

Yeah, maybe not.

But I reckon a jury would freak
if they knew you'd done it before.

Nadia Tate fell to her death
in Perth six years ago.

Nadia Tate fell to her death
in Perth six years ago.

And you were there.

Dylan or David -

DNA comes back the same.

That was ruled a suicide.

Get up!

Slow.

I think you'll find
'slowly' is the adverb.

Shut up.

I'm just saying,
in terms of improving yourself.

Via the steps. Come on!

It's a long way down.

You'll make it.

Don't do anything stupid.
And then what?

We'll go for a little drive.

Dylan.
Shut up and move.

But the security cameras.

The manager Bob, he...
The cameras don't work.

They do now. It's brand-new.
Check it.

Smile.

Don't move!

Get up against the wall!

David Gazzara, you're under arrest.

♪ You can get behind me
or get out of my way

♪ You can get behind me
or get out of my face

♪ Walked through fire,
I became the flame

♪ When I'm done here
you'll all know my name

♪ Fire! ♪
Madison...

Can you turn that off, please?
I need to concentrate.

There's cat hair here.

That thing ran down
your car battery.

You know there are facilities
all across the city

where one can have
one's vehicle cleaned?

But I like to do it myself.

I used to...
Oh, here we go.

...clean the car with my grandad
when I was really little.

He'd give me $5.

Let me guess, he owned a Schmilford?

Oh, what, you remembered the name?!

Yep.

There's one for sale
for 50 bucks on eBay.

What?!
Brand-new.

You're kidding me.
Uh-uh.

This drop-in thing's
becoming a bit of a habit, guys.

Can we have a chat about
your little invoice there?

Just got a call from accounts.

Thought it safer not to discuss it
over the phone. Hello.

Remove the actuator
from the gear control housing?

Oh. The actuator.
Four grand!

And it's all for an account
that sounds strangely like

this name of a certain
German company.

Well, you said make
it sound innocent.

I can't bill you
for escort services.

No. But four grand?!

How can you spend
that much on an escort?

Actually, you know what?
Don't answer that question.

I don't want to know.
You know, I can stay or... not.

You still haven't fixed this thing?

No, but I'm getting there.

Alright. Well, let me have a squiz.

OK.

What is this?

Oh, those are the instructions.
They're very useful.

They're in German.

You are.
You are!

Alright. What have you got there?
Oh, this? Bzzt!

Don't.
You mansplain this.

I'm not going to mansplain it.

You mess with the bulls,
you get the horns. Watch out.

Last June, a man was shot dead
in a motel room.

The door was locked from the inside.

Security chain in place.

I don't know,
it's kind of a magician's trick.

Get a magician to solve it.
I am.

Nikki Malone - ever heard of her?
No.

Well, look who it is.

How are you, Nikki?

Last time I saw her
she was in handcuffs.

Her name is Crowe.

It's Alexa Crowe, with an E.

Captions by Red Bee Media