My Dad the Rock Star (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 2 - Zilla's House of Horrors - full transcript
Still adjusting to life in the weird and wonderful Zilla mansion, Willy awakens one night to the wails of a ghost somewhere deep in the house.
♪ It’s so hard ♪
♪ Just to feel normal
♪ When everyone is completely
paranormal ♪
♪ And everything is totally
deranged ♪
♪ And you’re the only one who’s
sane ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪
♪ Turn off the lights, I’m
leaving the stage ♪
♪ I just wanna get
a little more control ♪
♪ So nobody can tell me what to
do ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak, ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ Yeah, yeah
Ah-whoo!
(Wolves howling)
(Thunder crashing)
(Groaning)
Huh!
(Panting)
(Groaning)
(Gasping)
(Groaning)
It's probably nothing, it's
probably nothing!
(Groaning)
Huh?
(Gulping)
(Screaming)
Yo, bro!
You look like a zombie!
Have you been into your dad's
makeup?
Very funny!
I was up all night hearing
strange noises!
I swear my house is haunted!
You're just not used to it
yet!
Yo, ‘Lyss, you seen his
house?
Hey, at least you don't live
at that Zilla place!
Those suckers don't have a
chance!
Yeah, you think?
Almost assuredly, William.
I am partial to horror stories,
myself.
I find them relaxing, and the
Zilla household involves a
horror story that I think you'll
agree is most edifying!
Feel free to, uh, put your arms
around me if you become suddenly
frightened while I retell it.
Ugh, I'm already horrified.
Your loss.
Before the mansion was built,
there was a decrepit old
cemetery on the property.
The grounds were maintained
indifferently, by a man named
Greaves.
(Cat shrieking)
He was an interesting man, with
many hobbies.
One night, while burying his
neighbour, there was an
accident.
(Gasping)
Greaves was never seen, nor
heard from, ever again!
(Teeth chattering)
Boo!
(Screaming)
Woo-hoo!
Yeah!
Eh, something's the matter
with your tongue action, mate!
What do you mean?
I'm fine!
Let's take it from the top,
then!
Uh, sure.
Woo-hoo...
(Groaning)
Here, here, here it's truth
time, mate!
C'mon, fess up!
All right, but you can't tell
anyone!
I have a toothache!
Oh, dear.
Have you been to see a dentist?
Uh-uh, no way, not after the
last time!
You mean you've really never
heard of me?
Rock Zilla?
Uh, yes, I didn't get out
much in dental school.
Whoa!
Huh?
You know what you're doing,
right?
Of course, Mr. Zilla!
I graduated four months ago!
Okay... three and a half months
ago!
‘Cause I don't trust my mouth
to just anyone, y'know.
(Giggling)
I understand your concern,
Mr. Zilla.
Entertainers need pearly whites!
Nah, it's all about the
tongue, baby!
(Screaming)
Oh, I know how this scene
plays out!
(Creaking)
(Gasping)
What's the matter, sweetie?
Your aura's looking a little
dull!
I'm fine, I just haven't been
sleeping very well.
You haven't heard or seen
anything strange lately?
Do you count?
Ha ha, funny.
What do you mean by strange,
Willy?
Um, probably nothing, I just
heard a rumour that our house
could be, sort of, haunted.
Did you hear that, dear?
Willy thinks the house might be
haunted!
Hm, you been eating your
mother's herbal ointments again?
No, dad.
Good boy.
I wonder what we should do?
I'm thinking... séance!
Ow!
Uh, I'm thinking rock video!
Check it out: a couple of foxy
ghouls hammering out my new
tune, “Death by Dirt”!
No.
Hmm.
(Yawning)
Huh?
Oh, I gotta get some sleep!
(Eerie groaning)
(Shivering, whimpering)
(Eerie roaning)
Lemme guess, an all-night
party with your friends from the
spirit world?
Uh-huh, sorry for not
inviting you.
Yo, you need an extortionist,
bro!
I think you mean exorcist.
Well, I'm having a séance,
d'you wanna come?
Huh, a séance, at the Zilla
house?
It's either that or spend the
evening watching my parents
floss our cat.
Sure!
Alyssa?
Alyssa!
Well, since observing feline
dental hygiene at Q's is no
longer an option, absolutely!
Well, great then, I guess
it's a date!
Thanks for coming, guys.
We're pretty much all set, but I
gotta warn you, this could be a
little weird.
Willy, nothing in your house
is ever just a little weird.
Has anyone else seen or heard
this ghost, besides you?
No, but Serenity sleeps with
earplugs, my mom listens to new
age tapes at night, and my dad
could sleep through anything!
Good evening all!
I'm sure you're just as
scintillated as I am about the
possibility of witnessing a
paranormal event!
Is this going to take long?
I have to wash my hairs
individually!
Well, then let's get started!
All right, we'll begin with
an incantation!
Let us hold hands, forming a
divine circle of friendship!
Ugh, your palms are all
sweaty!
(Chanting)
In this house, at this hour,
we call upon the ancient power
to deliver to us in the night a
spirit lost lacking height.
I mean sight.
Oh, troubled spirit from another
sphere, grace us now and appear!
♪
(Groaning)
What the?
(Laughing)
(Rattling)
(Gasping)
(Laughing)
Go figure!
Maybe we should try something
else!
Huh, what?
All right, easy now, mate!
It's for your own good!
Off to the dental clinic we go!
Murmuring
Oh, no you don't!
(Creaking)
I got ya, I got ya!
(Groaning)
Intriguing as this is, I've
got some new lip gloss shades to
try out, so...
(Gasping)
The ghost!
(Crashing)
(Coughing)
Oh, great, now I really do
have to wash my hair on a Friday
night!
What are you two up to?
Um, uh...
Uh, just working out some
ideas, uh, for the “Death by
Dirt” video, yeah!
Can't you two save the antics
for the stage?
You've ruined the atmosphere in
the room!
Not to mention the feng shui!
(Muttering)
Yeow!
Well, uh, I'm going to bed now!
Crystal, honey?
It's time for Plan B!
(Thunder crashing)
Oh, great, the power's out!
We'll use these to stay in touch
when we split up.
Split up, I, uh, thought we
were gonna do this together!
This is a big house!
I mean if we don't split up, how
else are we going to find them?
Haven't you ever seen those
horror movies?
You go with Willy, I'll be
fine on my own.
Okay, let's go find those
ghosts.
Sho', bro!
With Q here to stay, the ghosts
will run away!
Do you know your way around yet?
Uh-uh, I still get lost just
going to the bathroom!
(Screaming)
Oh, sorry, that's just some
promo stuff for my dad's 1988
Orus Maximus tour.
I'm cool, I'm cool.
I was just practising my chops!
WILLY: Do you see anything
unusual?
Uh, I can't see anything that
isn't unusual!
I feel like I'm being watched,
but no ghosts, over!
“Atilla Zilla”?
Now I know where Rock got his
fashion sense!
(Gasping)
Hello?
You're the only kid I know
with an elevator in their house!
Wow!
My parents' idea.
They're so used to hotels, it
made feel more at home.
I had to talk them out of the
bellboy.
Going up!
Or not.
It must've short circuited from
the storm!
Where are we?
Don't worry, it's just the
storage room.
♪
(Screaming)
(Sighing)
It's okay, it's just my dad's
stuff.
(Gasping)
There's nothing to be afraid of!
(Roaring)
(Screaming)
(Gasping)
(Sighing)
I wish my dad would just sell
his stuff after the tours!
You okay--
(Teeth chattering)
Quincy, c'mon, we'll take the
stairs, if your knees stop
wobbling!
I-I-I'm c-c-cool!
What this place needs is an
elevator!
(Rustling)
Willy, is that you?
(Gasping)
(Crashing)
Mrs. Zilla?
Serenity?
(Screaming)
(Panting)
♪
Cool!
Hmm?
You don't want to go in
there; it would be extremely
scary!
What, more of your dad's
creepy stage accessories?
No, Serenity's bedroom!
(Thunder crashing)
No sign of Alyssa, but I can
see my breath!
That's what happens when a ghost
is around!
Shh!
Do you hear that?
Uh-huh!
(Creaking)
You don't think...
Ghosts?
Uh-uh, it's just the wind.
Is this yours?
Yo, no way, not my colour!
It doesn't belong to anyone
in my family either!
What's it doing here?
Maybe it belongs to the
ghost!
Hmm, it looks like someone
was trying to use it to climb
off the ledge!
Maybe your dad was working up
another stunt for his music
video!
Or maybe--
Hey!
(Screaming)
Nice scarf!
That yours Quincy?
Yo, what's with everybody
buggin' me ‘bout that scarf!
We found it on the ledge.
You find anything?
No, I'm beginning to think--
(Groaning)
The ghost!
(Screaming)
Let's get outta here!
I'm with you!
(Groaning)
(Thunder crashing)
That way!
(Screaming)
(Groaning)
That was no ghost!
Huh?
That was Scoop Baverdash!
I'd recognize his calling card
anywhere!
He's the most annoying paparazzi
in the world!
Isn't he the one who's been
trying to get a picture of your
dad without make up?
Uh-huh, and now he's inside
my house!
It all makes sense now!
The bursts of light from his
camera flash!
He's been making those howling
sounds and creeping around at
night!
The shadows, the reflections, it
was all Scoop!
But this is good, right?
That means this place isn't
really haunted!
No, this is worse!
Instead of a guy buried under
the house, there's someone
trying to dig up dirt on me and
my family!
(Screaming)
I don't get it!
The old doorknob and string
around the tooth trick worked
fine when I was a kid!
Well, maybe you're not
supposed to use guitar strings!
Oh.
That's him, all right!
What a creep!
I've seen eels that were less
slimy-looking.
(Giggling)
SCOOP: Well, that gives me
enough pictures of this
ridiculous family to retire
rich!
(Gasping)
And now I just have to find my
way out of this preposterous
house!
Don't worry, bro, you don't
look that goofy!
No, just freaked out and
kinda terrified.
Oh, great!
I've got to get that film back!
(Gasping)
Aiieee!
Oh, what is this?
Man, he's pretty jumpy
himself!
Yeah, and that gives me an
idea!
Ugh, this annoying, tasteless
house!
(Groaning)
(Sighing)
(Screaming)
Yo, what's wrong, fool?
Nothin' to lose your head over!
(Panting)
(Gasping)
(Loud music blaring)
(Screaming)
(Crashing)
Oh!
(Yelping)
Oof!
(Screaming)
(Panting)
Oh, this is a nightmare!
(Growling)
(Roaring)
(Screaming)
No, no, no!
(Roaring)
Let me out of here!
Oh, you want out?
I could help you!
But first, you have something I
want.
What do you want?
The film.
Henh, no deal!
You will see it in the tabloids
like everyone else!
Assuming you make it out of
here in one piece, that is!
(Screaming)
Okay, okay, just let me out
of this mad house!
First, give me the film!
Here!
Now show me the way out!
(Growling)
My friend doesn't like
sneaks!
Let's have all the film!
Cameras too!
Here's your butt ugly scarf,
and don't be comin' back now,
fool!
You needn't worry!
This house is a nightmare!
Yeah, well you started it
with your creepy howling!
That was not me!
What does he mean it wasn't
him howling?
(Groaning)
Oh, okay, I know what you're
thinking!
I should've just levelled with
you: my tooth has been causing
me a teeny bit of discomfort,
but everything's fine now!
Well, except for the aching and
throbbing!
Ow!
Poor sweetie, if you don't
want to go to the dentist, you
can try one of my homeopathic
remedies.
Uh, thanks, but I think I'll
go to the torture... I mean,
dentist, first thing in the
morning!
I promise!
So, tell me again how Scoop was
scared out of his wits, what a--
Oooh!
Goof!
Oh, I wish I could've seen it!
You can!
Sweet!
So what brought the poor sod
to his knees?
A little persuasion from
dad's props, especially when
Quincy nearly shaved him with a
cleaver!
But that wasn't me!
Huh?
Alyssa?
Uh-uh!
(Eerie laughing)
♪
♪ Just to feel normal
♪ When everyone is completely
paranormal ♪
♪ And everything is totally
deranged ♪
♪ And you’re the only one who’s
sane ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪
♪ Turn off the lights, I’m
leaving the stage ♪
♪ I just wanna get
a little more control ♪
♪ So nobody can tell me what to
do ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak, ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ Yeah, yeah
Ah-whoo!
(Wolves howling)
(Thunder crashing)
(Groaning)
Huh!
(Panting)
(Groaning)
(Gasping)
(Groaning)
It's probably nothing, it's
probably nothing!
(Groaning)
Huh?
(Gulping)
(Screaming)
Yo, bro!
You look like a zombie!
Have you been into your dad's
makeup?
Very funny!
I was up all night hearing
strange noises!
I swear my house is haunted!
You're just not used to it
yet!
Yo, ‘Lyss, you seen his
house?
Hey, at least you don't live
at that Zilla place!
Those suckers don't have a
chance!
Yeah, you think?
Almost assuredly, William.
I am partial to horror stories,
myself.
I find them relaxing, and the
Zilla household involves a
horror story that I think you'll
agree is most edifying!
Feel free to, uh, put your arms
around me if you become suddenly
frightened while I retell it.
Ugh, I'm already horrified.
Your loss.
Before the mansion was built,
there was a decrepit old
cemetery on the property.
The grounds were maintained
indifferently, by a man named
Greaves.
(Cat shrieking)
He was an interesting man, with
many hobbies.
One night, while burying his
neighbour, there was an
accident.
(Gasping)
Greaves was never seen, nor
heard from, ever again!
(Teeth chattering)
Boo!
(Screaming)
Woo-hoo!
Yeah!
Eh, something's the matter
with your tongue action, mate!
What do you mean?
I'm fine!
Let's take it from the top,
then!
Uh, sure.
Woo-hoo...
(Groaning)
Here, here, here it's truth
time, mate!
C'mon, fess up!
All right, but you can't tell
anyone!
I have a toothache!
Oh, dear.
Have you been to see a dentist?
Uh-uh, no way, not after the
last time!
You mean you've really never
heard of me?
Rock Zilla?
Uh, yes, I didn't get out
much in dental school.
Whoa!
Huh?
You know what you're doing,
right?
Of course, Mr. Zilla!
I graduated four months ago!
Okay... three and a half months
ago!
‘Cause I don't trust my mouth
to just anyone, y'know.
(Giggling)
I understand your concern,
Mr. Zilla.
Entertainers need pearly whites!
Nah, it's all about the
tongue, baby!
(Screaming)
Oh, I know how this scene
plays out!
(Creaking)
(Gasping)
What's the matter, sweetie?
Your aura's looking a little
dull!
I'm fine, I just haven't been
sleeping very well.
You haven't heard or seen
anything strange lately?
Do you count?
Ha ha, funny.
What do you mean by strange,
Willy?
Um, probably nothing, I just
heard a rumour that our house
could be, sort of, haunted.
Did you hear that, dear?
Willy thinks the house might be
haunted!
Hm, you been eating your
mother's herbal ointments again?
No, dad.
Good boy.
I wonder what we should do?
I'm thinking... séance!
Ow!
Uh, I'm thinking rock video!
Check it out: a couple of foxy
ghouls hammering out my new
tune, “Death by Dirt”!
No.
Hmm.
(Yawning)
Huh?
Oh, I gotta get some sleep!
(Eerie groaning)
(Shivering, whimpering)
(Eerie roaning)
Lemme guess, an all-night
party with your friends from the
spirit world?
Uh-huh, sorry for not
inviting you.
Yo, you need an extortionist,
bro!
I think you mean exorcist.
Well, I'm having a séance,
d'you wanna come?
Huh, a séance, at the Zilla
house?
It's either that or spend the
evening watching my parents
floss our cat.
Sure!
Alyssa?
Alyssa!
Well, since observing feline
dental hygiene at Q's is no
longer an option, absolutely!
Well, great then, I guess
it's a date!
Thanks for coming, guys.
We're pretty much all set, but I
gotta warn you, this could be a
little weird.
Willy, nothing in your house
is ever just a little weird.
Has anyone else seen or heard
this ghost, besides you?
No, but Serenity sleeps with
earplugs, my mom listens to new
age tapes at night, and my dad
could sleep through anything!
Good evening all!
I'm sure you're just as
scintillated as I am about the
possibility of witnessing a
paranormal event!
Is this going to take long?
I have to wash my hairs
individually!
Well, then let's get started!
All right, we'll begin with
an incantation!
Let us hold hands, forming a
divine circle of friendship!
Ugh, your palms are all
sweaty!
(Chanting)
In this house, at this hour,
we call upon the ancient power
to deliver to us in the night a
spirit lost lacking height.
I mean sight.
Oh, troubled spirit from another
sphere, grace us now and appear!
♪
(Groaning)
What the?
(Laughing)
(Rattling)
(Gasping)
(Laughing)
Go figure!
Maybe we should try something
else!
Huh, what?
All right, easy now, mate!
It's for your own good!
Off to the dental clinic we go!
Murmuring
Oh, no you don't!
(Creaking)
I got ya, I got ya!
(Groaning)
Intriguing as this is, I've
got some new lip gloss shades to
try out, so...
(Gasping)
The ghost!
(Crashing)
(Coughing)
Oh, great, now I really do
have to wash my hair on a Friday
night!
What are you two up to?
Um, uh...
Uh, just working out some
ideas, uh, for the “Death by
Dirt” video, yeah!
Can't you two save the antics
for the stage?
You've ruined the atmosphere in
the room!
Not to mention the feng shui!
(Muttering)
Yeow!
Well, uh, I'm going to bed now!
Crystal, honey?
It's time for Plan B!
(Thunder crashing)
Oh, great, the power's out!
We'll use these to stay in touch
when we split up.
Split up, I, uh, thought we
were gonna do this together!
This is a big house!
I mean if we don't split up, how
else are we going to find them?
Haven't you ever seen those
horror movies?
You go with Willy, I'll be
fine on my own.
Okay, let's go find those
ghosts.
Sho', bro!
With Q here to stay, the ghosts
will run away!
Do you know your way around yet?
Uh-uh, I still get lost just
going to the bathroom!
(Screaming)
Oh, sorry, that's just some
promo stuff for my dad's 1988
Orus Maximus tour.
I'm cool, I'm cool.
I was just practising my chops!
WILLY: Do you see anything
unusual?
Uh, I can't see anything that
isn't unusual!
I feel like I'm being watched,
but no ghosts, over!
“Atilla Zilla”?
Now I know where Rock got his
fashion sense!
(Gasping)
Hello?
You're the only kid I know
with an elevator in their house!
Wow!
My parents' idea.
They're so used to hotels, it
made feel more at home.
I had to talk them out of the
bellboy.
Going up!
Or not.
It must've short circuited from
the storm!
Where are we?
Don't worry, it's just the
storage room.
♪
(Screaming)
(Sighing)
It's okay, it's just my dad's
stuff.
(Gasping)
There's nothing to be afraid of!
(Roaring)
(Screaming)
(Gasping)
(Sighing)
I wish my dad would just sell
his stuff after the tours!
You okay--
(Teeth chattering)
Quincy, c'mon, we'll take the
stairs, if your knees stop
wobbling!
I-I-I'm c-c-cool!
What this place needs is an
elevator!
(Rustling)
Willy, is that you?
(Gasping)
(Crashing)
Mrs. Zilla?
Serenity?
(Screaming)
(Panting)
♪
Cool!
Hmm?
You don't want to go in
there; it would be extremely
scary!
What, more of your dad's
creepy stage accessories?
No, Serenity's bedroom!
(Thunder crashing)
No sign of Alyssa, but I can
see my breath!
That's what happens when a ghost
is around!
Shh!
Do you hear that?
Uh-huh!
(Creaking)
You don't think...
Ghosts?
Uh-uh, it's just the wind.
Is this yours?
Yo, no way, not my colour!
It doesn't belong to anyone
in my family either!
What's it doing here?
Maybe it belongs to the
ghost!
Hmm, it looks like someone
was trying to use it to climb
off the ledge!
Maybe your dad was working up
another stunt for his music
video!
Or maybe--
Hey!
(Screaming)
Nice scarf!
That yours Quincy?
Yo, what's with everybody
buggin' me ‘bout that scarf!
We found it on the ledge.
You find anything?
No, I'm beginning to think--
(Groaning)
The ghost!
(Screaming)
Let's get outta here!
I'm with you!
(Groaning)
(Thunder crashing)
That way!
(Screaming)
(Groaning)
That was no ghost!
Huh?
That was Scoop Baverdash!
I'd recognize his calling card
anywhere!
He's the most annoying paparazzi
in the world!
Isn't he the one who's been
trying to get a picture of your
dad without make up?
Uh-huh, and now he's inside
my house!
It all makes sense now!
The bursts of light from his
camera flash!
He's been making those howling
sounds and creeping around at
night!
The shadows, the reflections, it
was all Scoop!
But this is good, right?
That means this place isn't
really haunted!
No, this is worse!
Instead of a guy buried under
the house, there's someone
trying to dig up dirt on me and
my family!
(Screaming)
I don't get it!
The old doorknob and string
around the tooth trick worked
fine when I was a kid!
Well, maybe you're not
supposed to use guitar strings!
Oh.
That's him, all right!
What a creep!
I've seen eels that were less
slimy-looking.
(Giggling)
SCOOP: Well, that gives me
enough pictures of this
ridiculous family to retire
rich!
(Gasping)
And now I just have to find my
way out of this preposterous
house!
Don't worry, bro, you don't
look that goofy!
No, just freaked out and
kinda terrified.
Oh, great!
I've got to get that film back!
(Gasping)
Aiieee!
Oh, what is this?
Man, he's pretty jumpy
himself!
Yeah, and that gives me an
idea!
Ugh, this annoying, tasteless
house!
(Groaning)
(Sighing)
(Screaming)
Yo, what's wrong, fool?
Nothin' to lose your head over!
(Panting)
(Gasping)
(Loud music blaring)
(Screaming)
(Crashing)
Oh!
(Yelping)
Oof!
(Screaming)
(Panting)
Oh, this is a nightmare!
(Growling)
(Roaring)
(Screaming)
No, no, no!
(Roaring)
Let me out of here!
Oh, you want out?
I could help you!
But first, you have something I
want.
What do you want?
The film.
Henh, no deal!
You will see it in the tabloids
like everyone else!
Assuming you make it out of
here in one piece, that is!
(Screaming)
Okay, okay, just let me out
of this mad house!
First, give me the film!
Here!
Now show me the way out!
(Growling)
My friend doesn't like
sneaks!
Let's have all the film!
Cameras too!
Here's your butt ugly scarf,
and don't be comin' back now,
fool!
You needn't worry!
This house is a nightmare!
Yeah, well you started it
with your creepy howling!
That was not me!
What does he mean it wasn't
him howling?
(Groaning)
Oh, okay, I know what you're
thinking!
I should've just levelled with
you: my tooth has been causing
me a teeny bit of discomfort,
but everything's fine now!
Well, except for the aching and
throbbing!
Ow!
Poor sweetie, if you don't
want to go to the dentist, you
can try one of my homeopathic
remedies.
Uh, thanks, but I think I'll
go to the torture... I mean,
dentist, first thing in the
morning!
I promise!
So, tell me again how Scoop was
scared out of his wits, what a--
Oooh!
Goof!
Oh, I wish I could've seen it!
You can!
Sweet!
So what brought the poor sod
to his knees?
A little persuasion from
dad's props, especially when
Quincy nearly shaved him with a
cleaver!
But that wasn't me!
Huh?
Alyssa?
Uh-uh!
(Eerie laughing)
♪