Murphy Brown (1988–2018): Season 1, Episode 1 - Respect - full transcript

\What a bunch oi bull.

First. they didn't write about the interview
she did with the Sandinistas.

Second. she stood Warren Beatty up.
he didn't stand her up.

And thirdly. what kind at ties are these?
I thought wide was out.

You know. when they asked me to fill
in tor Murphy. I couldn't believe it.

It was kind at like that time
when I became Miss America.

- Did I ever tell you about that?
- Oh. yeah.

Exciting story.

So who wants to put
a little money down here?

I say Murphy comes back
a changed woman.

It was so incredible when they
announced my name.



“First runner-up. Corky Sherwood.“

Murphy will never change. Once a pain
in the butt. always a pain in the butt.

Jim. we are talking a month
at the Betty Ford Center.

You saw my segment on that place. They
knock the stufting out ot you. Come on.

Ten bucks.

But then I got that phone call.

It‘s always very sad when Miss America
falls trom grace.

Although when she said she loved animals.
no one took her literally.

- Did I ever tell you what she did-?
- What a mind picture.

It‘s 9:30.

At 10:00. Murphy Brown is going to get
oil that elevator. late as usual.

She'll insult at least three people.
grab a cup ot coftee...

...and bum a cigarette.
Then she will lock herselt in her oftice...

...until she comes up with the pertect piece
tor next week's show. as usual. You're on.



- All right.
- Wait. I have to get my checkbook.

Hi. everybody.

Great dress. Elise.

Hey. Frank. nice piece you did
on that prostitution ring.

Jim. what have you done to your hair?
I like it.

- Coftee. Ms. Brown?
- No. thank you.

- I'm going to miss her.
- Me too.

Okay!

Which one ot you turkeys got their
greasy Iingerprints all over my Emmy?

All right! She's back!

It was you. wasn't it. Frank?

- You were tondling it while I was gone.
- I couldn't help myselt.

It was wearing a dress. It had breasts.
We talked. We hit it ott.

You're very strange.
and I actually missed you.

Thanks tor sending me
the Chippendales calendar.

Mr. March got me through August.

I am proud ot you. Murph.
You came out the other side.

Frank. I haven't had a drink
in over a month.

I haven't had a cigarette in three weeks.
tour hours and 22 minutes.

I've been pleasant. I've been polite.

Don't ever tell anybody this. okay?

- I did aerobics.
- No.

I lett every vice I have at that place.
except tor chewing pencils.

I can't live without the taste
ot a number 2 solt. Frank.

I've got to have it.
I wouldn't let them break me.

It's okay. Murph.
You've gotta hold on to something.

Boy. being away Irom this place
was like cutting ott my oxygen.

- So how bad did the ratings drop?
- They didn't.

- No. really.
- No. I'm telling you.

We killed the competition last week.
Believe me. it was heavy.

There was a Partridge Family reunion special
and Emmanuel Lewis in an ALF two-parter.

I gotta go meet my Iilm crew.

Listen. later on. I'll buy you a drink-
We'll have some lunch- Nice lunch.

Ms. Brown.

Hi. I just wanted to come up
and introduce myselt.

- Miles Silverberg.
- Hello.

- Did you want an autograph?
- Autograph? Autograph. no.

- I'm Miles Silverberg.
- Right. Silverberg. Miles. You said that.

- The new executive producer ot FYI.
- Excuse me?

- I said. I'm the new executive producer-
- Wait.

They replaced Arvin with you?
You're Miles Silverberg?

Yes. Yes. Miles Silverberg.

- Let me say what a big fan-
- Do you know who The Shirelles are?

Excuse me?

The Shirelles?

- The Ronettes? The Deltonics?
- It's only my second day.

- How old are you?
- Twenty-live.

What's your background?

- Master's degree Irom Harvard Business-
- Working background.

- Three years in public television-
- It's getting worse.

I'm sorry. Mr. Silverberg.
it it appears I'm being rude to you.

I can't help thinking about the tact...

...that while I got Maced at the '68
Democratic Convention...

...you were wondering it you'd ever
meet Adam West.

Look. I can understand this reaction.

I know how much you loved
and admired Arvin.

But the man retired. He did.

The show needs new blood.

Are you the same new blood
who thought it was good...

...to have a Iormer Miss America.
who won by default. no less. fill in tor me?

Oh. no. Definitely not.

I'm the one who decided she should join
you. Frank and Jim on a permanent basis.

Are you kidding me?

The woman has no journalism background.

Think back. Atlantic City. 1982.
The talent competition.

Corky Sherwood walks out on-stage
and coordinates a closet.

Doesn't that tell you something?

Who knew where she was gonna put
those last two dresses?

Ms. Brown. she's been testing through
the root. You can't ignore that.

Oh. yeah? I've got news tor you.

Hi. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

But I just wanted to say. Murphy.
what a pleasure it is to meet you...

...and tell you that I will be honored to be
sitting beside you every Wednesday night.

And it I can be even one-tenth the journalist
you are. I have reached my goal.

Because you. Murphy. are the best.

Gee. thank you very much.
That's really sweet.

Miles. how do you pronounce this word?

"Shiite."

That could have been real embarrassing.

Women 18 to 34 are writing to her
tor hairstyling tips.

- She thinks Camus is a soap.
- Come on. Ms. Brown.

I'm just asking tor the chance
to impress you.

It takes a lot to impress me.

Okay. how about this?

I have landed you maybe
the biggest interview ot the year.

Unless you're talking about Bobby Powell.
I'm not impressed.

Bingo.

- You're kidding.
- Nope.

Look here on my date book.

- What does that say?
- "Buy tampons."

Above that. "First order ot business.
land Bobby Powell."

60 Minutes. 20/20. The Today Show.
they're all trying to snag this guy.

- How did you do it?
- Well. it wasn't easy.

I'm looking at you in a totally
new way. Miles.

I mean. there are always compromises
we have to make along the way.

OI course. I just Iinished
graduate work in compromise.

So. what kind ot compromise?

No big deal.

I had to promise Bobby Powell that you
wouldn't ask him "the" question.

You promised Powell I wouldn't ask him
it he had an aftair with a married woman...

...who happens to be running tor
vice president ot the United States?

So. what's your point?

What are we running here?
Do I look like Robin Leach? Forget it.

I can't do the interview. See. I have this
reputation. which I'm very proud ot.

I've never done an interview with my
hands tied. and I'm not about to start.

I'll come back alter you've had
a chance to mull this over.

I think it went well. don't you?

Ms. Brown? Hi. I'm Sherry French.
your new secretary.

- What happened to my old secretary?
- She lett to sell Herbalite.

Well. welcome aboard. Sherry.

Do me a Iavor. will you?
Get rid ot these things tor me.

And bring me some fresh pencils.
number 2 sott.

A lot ot them.

Ms. Brown. I couldn't help overhearing what
you and Mr. Silverberg were talking about.

I think you made a very big mistake
passing on that interview.

You can't just categorize things
as black or white.

Issues lacing the media now
are otten very gray.

Do you mind it I sit in your chair
tor a minute?

I just wanna see what it Ieels like.

Sherry doesn't work here anymore.
This is Robert.

Well. I'm sorry. but Ms. Brown is on the
phone with the secretary ot state right now.

Who is this?

Yes. yes. Hold on. I'll tell her you're on.

Oh. come on. Mr. Secretary.
you're not backing out on me. are you?

Look. We can pre-tape in the morning...

...and I'll have you on a plane to Helsinki
in the atternoon. Come on.

I'll do my Ted Koppel impression.

Excuse me. An urgent call just came in.
I'm going to have to get back to you.

Thank you. Mr. Secretary.

Eldin Bernecky? Okay. you were
supposed to show up...

...to paint the inside ot my house
two weeks ago.

I lett the keys with my neighbor.

She said you arrived late.
spread out your drop cloth...

...ordered a pizza and never came back.

You may get away with this
sort ot thing with other people...

...but I am detinitely not other people.

Murphy Brown.

I'm on TV.

Look. be there tomorrow morning ready
to paint. or I'll sue your overalls olt.

No. I don't know Heather Locklear.

Robert?

- I'm sorry. Did I scare you?
- No.

Would you see it you can get
the Iirst lady tor me. please?

- OI the United States?
- That's right.

- You can do this. Robert.
- Yes. I know.

Just give me a minute.

- Murphy.
- You again.

I spoke with Bobby Powell.
He'd like you to do the interview.

But it not. he's gonna give it
to Jane Pauley.

The big J?

We're talking about lull-page ads
in newspapers across the country...

...a guaranteed 40 share.

You know. this may sound awfully
old-fashioned...

...to someone who'd wear
a tie like that-

- It's new. Do you like it?
- No.

My dad once told me never to do anything
that didn't feel right. This doesn't feel right.

So if you want me to do it. you'll have
to call my dad and clear it with him.

What's your father's phone number?

Bobby's available for lunch today.
You should meet.

You don't give up. do you?

- I'll be back.
- I know.

Murphy. I heard you
turn that interview down.

And I just want to say. I would have done
exactly the same thing.

Hey. Miles.

- Close the door!
- Okay. okay.

- Murphy. welcome back.
- Hey. Phil.

Bobby Powell isn't here yet.
But I saved you your favorite table...

...where you gave Ed Meese
the Heimlich maneuver.

Memories.

What can I get you?

- How about a designer water?
- Good for you.

One designer water coming right up.

- How's little Phil?
- Oh. he's fine.

- Big Phil?
- Just fine.

- Phil senior?
- Still going strong. knock wood.

Phyllis says to say hello.

Close the door!

There he is.

Bobby Powell.

Doesn't look like I thought.

- Kind of shy-looking.
- Yeah. right.

Well. this'|| take about two seconds.

Bobby Powell. Murphy Brown.

Ms. Brown. it's a pleasure to meet you.
Really a pleasure.

Thanks for agreeing to see me.
I know how busy you are.

- Why don't we have a seat over here.
- Okay.

Nothing. thanks.

You know. Ms. Brown. a lot of people are
offering me a lot of money to tell my story.

Now. I don't know if this will
make any sense to you...

...but I'm not interested in the money.
I just want the story told straight.

That's why I picked you.
Everybody knows you're the best.

You're pretty smooth. Mr. Powell.

I bet that sheepish grin of yours
got you pretty far.

Pretty far?

You know what happened to me
this morning?

- I got let go from my job.
- You did?

Yeah. Too much bad publicity.

My friends don't call me anymore.

I can't walk out on the street
without being stared at.

Mr. Powell. you haven't experienced pain
until The National Enquirer...

...puts your head on Pia Zadora's body.

You got yourself involved
with Gwen Lansing...

...who happens to be married
with two kids...

...and may end up
running this country one day.

I think you've both got to expect
a little publicity.

And frankly. Mr. Powell. I think publicity
is exactly what you're after.

You know. I thought you'd be different.
I really did.

You've made up your mind
about me already.

I didn't think the press
was supposed to do that.

Did you sleep with Gwen Lansing?

Do you think America has the right
to know everything?

No.

Neither do I. You know. Ms. Brown.
there's another reason why I picked you.

You know what it's like to have a whole
country pass judgment on you.

- I see you've been reading your tabloids.
- That's why I thought you'd understand.

Look. all I want is a chance to tell my story
with some kind of dignity.

But it looks like these days
that's just too much to ask.

Thanks for your time.

- So. what's the story?
- Well. he wasn't what I expected.

You gonna do the interview?

I'm gonna do the interview.

Okay. Mr. Bernecky.
this is Murphy Brown again.

You were supposed to show up to paint
the inside of my house this morning.

I was there. You weren't. You blew it.

Oh. and change the message
on this phone machine.

Nobody likes listening to "Margaritavi||e"
for 5 minutes.

Robert?

I'm fine.

Would you return these
to the tape library for me. please?

I can't take it. I can't take the pressure.
I'm like one raw. pulsating nerve.

I feel the veins in my head pressing
against the inside of my skull...

...and expanding until they're
ready to explode.

It's too much. It's just too much.

Robert?

Maybe you should go back to sports.

Yes. I think that would be good for me...

...now that the Olympics are over.

- Say. slugger. how's it going?
- Great.

See the ad in this morning's paper?

- Big.
- Right.

Say. Jim. can I buy you a cup of coffee?
There's something I wanted to ask you.

Sure.

This is kind of hard for me.

Well...

...|'|| just jump in.

Have you ever felt really nervous
before a big interview?

I don't mean like when you were
first starting out. That's expected.

lmean...

...have you ever felt not like yourself?

Like you went through
something that changed you.

You wonder if you've lost the thing
that made you special...

...and you won't be able to pull it off.
and everyone will see through you...

...and you'll fail in front of millions
of people?

No.

- Thanks for the talk. Jim.
- You bet.

The university called to confirm your
luncheon date.

Lecture date.

- Yes. On the 16th.
- The 15th.

Yes.

And then you got a call from a...

...Muammar somebody.

- Oaddafi?
- Right. I knew he was Italian.

- Mrs. Caldwell?
- Yes. dear.

- Never mind.
- Right.

Hi. I was told to see
the executive producer.

That's me. Miles Silverberg.

- You're Miles Silverberg?
- I skipped a grade in high school.

This is Jerry Weiss and Steve Katzman.
my agents.

Dan Palmer and Tom Jacobson.
my attorneys. and Eric Leahy. my publicist.

- Nice suits.
- Thanks.

We're gonna need you
to step over here. please.

- We got about a minute till airtime.
- Hello again.

- Hi.
- This is really something.

Me and Murphy Brown on live television.
prime time.

How many people do you think
will be watching tonight?

- A lot.
- Feel okay?

- Yeah.
- Remember what I said.

Don't divert your eyes too much.
It looks dishonest.

Let the camera pick up
your natural charisma.

Everything goes well. tomorrow we make
that major deal with the Aramis people.

- Can we talk about that later?
- Oh. sure.

Hi. I'm a big fan. Nice teeth.

We made a deal with Bobby Powell.

Don't worry. Miles. I'm cool.
It's the new me.

- Ten seconds to airtime.
- We're gonna be great.

Forty share. guaranteed.

Five seconds to airtime.
Four. three. two...

Good evening. and welcome to FYI.
For your information tonight...

...Frank Fontana exposes new chemical
dumping in the Niagara River...

...whi|e Corky Sherwood reports
on the darker side of liposuction.

At the top of our show this evening.
a special interview.

Murphy Brown talks with
a very talked-about man. Bobby Powell.

Until a month ago. no one knew his name.

This photograph changed his life...

...and perhaps the direction
of a presidential campaign.

This evening. Murphy Brown talks
with Bobby Powell live. Murphy.

Thanks. Jim.

Let's start with the question
everyone's asking:

Did you sleep with Gwen Lansing or not?

I had to ask the question. you know.
It's in my genes.

And also. I have very bad PMS.

That's it. 25 and all washed-up.

Wait a minute. This is not
the Miles Silverberg I know.

You know. I hate to admit it.
but you really pulled one off tonight.

Frank's piece was one of the better
examples of investigative reporting...

...|'ve seen in along time.
I know it was your idea.

And let's face it. You pretty much blew
the doors off the fat-sucking business.

I think you ought to fight
for your job. Miles.

I'll help you do it.

- You're kidding. Why?
- I don't know. Don't push it. okay?

Who am I trying to kid?
I'm way over my head.

You wanna know something?
I've been in over my head...

...since the day I invited Joel Shaw to my
junior prom. He was 35 at the time.

You can't always play by the rules. Miles.

Taking risks is how I got here.

Although lately. I've been wondering
what to do for an encore.

And?

Well. maybe running my own
country is unrealistic.

So I've set new goals. like.
"Live through this day."

"Keep a plant for more than two weeks."

"Get a date on Saturday night."

You know. I haven't had a date
in over a month. Miles...

...and you're starting to look real good.

Jeez. Murphy. the boss-employee thing-
I don't know-

- I was kidding.
- I knew that.

Any chance I can buy you a pizza?

- I've got a few ideas for next week's show.
- You're on.

Miles. if we're gonna be working together.
you've gotta brush up on your Motown.

Seriously. those raisins
didn't invent that song.

I'm Eldin. the painter.

You scared the hell out of me!

I gotta tell you. you were getting
much better at the end.

What are you doing here? I fired you.

I just finished your kitchen ceiling.
Come see if you like it.

Come on.

- It's a mural.
- Scenes from the Industrial Revolution.

I took a chance.

- I like it.
- Well. then I must continue.

I was just about to start a cotton gin.

Hey. wait a minute. It's after midnight.
I got stuff to do.

Oh. that's no problem. But if you could
just keep the music down...

...because sometimes it's hard
for me to concentrate.

I hope you don't plan on moving
soon or nothing.

Oh. I'm gonna be here a while.

You know. 30 million people
watched me on television tonight.

Yeah? I won 10 bucks at lotto.

IENGLISHI