Murdoch Mysteries (2008–…): Season 12, Episode 3 - My Big Fat Mimico Wedding - full transcript
At the wedding of Henry Higgins and Ruth Newsome on the Newsome estate, random murder attempts on Higgens are just the beginning of the machinations happening there.
(THEME MUSIC)
(JULIA): Do cheer up,
William. It's a wedding.
Weddings tend to bring
out the worst in people.
I'm not certain I'm
ready to see the worst
- of the Mimico Newsomes.
- (JULIA GIGGLING)
I adore weddings.
It always feels like love is in the air.
Congratulations, Higgins.
You mean Higgins-Newsome.
What?
Henry has decided to
hyphenate his last name.
- Why?
- Well, it's a rather storied clan I'm joining.
Being a Newsome is going
to be very much preferable
to being a constable.
All that responsibility
never sat well with me, Tom.
- Somehow, we'll muddle through without you.
- Hmm.
- Congratulations, Henry.
- Murdoch.
(WHISPERING): How much
did you and the good doctor
spend on your wedding gift?
What's this?
Just a little gift from your best man.
- It's a pen.
- It's a Hanneman.
I thought you could use it to
sign the wedding certificate.
Thank you, George.
You know, your friendship
has always meant so mu...
All right, Higgins, let's...
let's save that for
the speech, shall we?
I'll tell you one thing.
I'm looking forward to
walking into the Station House
Monday morning and seeing a different
man sitting at Higgins' desk.
Yes, there are a number
of strong candidates
for Constable first class.
Have you made your decision yet?
Hardly matters who we pick.
It's called addition
through subtraction, Murdoch.
Gents.
Shall we?
Are you sure you're ready, Henry?
- Not even the slightest case of cold feet?
- No.
Nothing could stop me
from marrying Ruth Newsome.
(GUNSHOT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Whoo-hoo, Henry?
(MAN CHUCKLING) You're
going to be just fine.
Roger?
Roger? (STAMMERING)
I am Rupert, you daft sweet boy.
- I've simply shaved my chops.
- Henry!
Are you hurt?
- I'm fine, I think.
- Fine? You've been shot!
Methinks the shot missed.
- There's a bullet hole in his jacket.
- Oh...
George...
you saved my life.
All right. Thank you, Rupert.
- Brother.
- Yes.
- You're quite welcome, "brother".
- Definitely strange.
Are you quite all right, Henry?
I think so, William.
- 44 calibre.
- A hunting rifle.
An accident, I'd imagine.
- Likely the neighbours hunting grouse.
- With a rifle?
They're Dutch.
I'll go check outside,
see if there's anyone
out there wearing clogs.
Glad you're all right, Henry.
Thank you.
George, my jacket is ruined.
Higgins! That's what you're
worried about? You're alive, man!
Well, how can I get married now?
Well, here, I'll swap you.
Well, thank you, George!
- You know, you really are... no...
- Higgins...
Higgins, it's a jacket.
All right, there.
Crisis averted. Now,
I'll explain to the ladies
- why we've been delayed.
- Oh, one moment...
- my speech.
- Yes.
(DOOR OPENING)
- (DOOR CLOSING)
- Ow...
- (KNOCKING)
- Hmm?
Ruth...
Oh, George. Goody. There's
someone I want you to meet.
Geraldine Cholmondeley.
You can call me Gigi.
I'm Ruthie's cousin
from Ham Hill, Powick,
- Worcestershire.
- I'm sorry, from what?
You're a balmy old egg, aren't you?
Come on, let's get boiled.
Gigi, shush! Ahem.
Now, George Crabtree, I...
oh, I want you to meet my dear,
dear, dear, dear, dear cousin,
this is Effie Newsome
of the Wexford Newsomes.
Not too well off, poor devils,
but still they are Newsomes.
Effie!
George is Henry's best man.
Effie is my Maid of Honour, so...
Matron of Honour.
- Divorced.
- Right.
- Ruth, I have something to tell you.
- Henry...
Henry's been shot. What?!
- He's fine, but he...
- Henny!
(DOOR CLOSING)
(SIGHING)
Um, Effie.
I should say straight off, um,
- Ruth has mentioned that you might be interested in...
- Save your breath.
I just got out of one marriage,
I'm hardly looking to race into another.
Right. It's just, you
know how Ruth can get.
I'd never get involved
with a copper anyway.
I'm at Osgoode preparing for the bar
and if there's one thing I've learned,
it's policemen are the real criminals.
- William, what's happened?
- Henry's been shot.
- Dear God!
- Or rather, shot at.
- Is he all right?
- He's fine.
Found this by a tree in the garden.
There's no sign of the shooter.
The calibre matches the bullet.
That looks like one of the Newsomes'.
- The Newsomes keep guns?
- They keep all sorts of weapons, sir.
Come, come Henry. You must sit down.
All right.
So, someone took it from here,
went out into the garden, and
took a pot shot at Higgins.
Ahem.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Did you happen to see someone
remove this rifle from this room?
What? No.
We only came in a few moments ago.
Who are you two?
Constantine Kimberley and my son Pelham.
The bride's uncle and cousin.
- So, neither of you touched any of these guns?
- What? No.
Excuse us.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
We have no way to determine
exactly when the rifle was taken...
but clearly, it was by
someone inside this house.
Meaning they're likely
a guest at the wedding.
I've just spoken to Ruth. We're
going to go ahead with the wedding.
Are you sure you're feeling all right?
- You look a little distraught.
- I'll be fine.
I mean, you've just
had a brush with death.
- It would be understandable.
- It's not that so much.
When I came to, I...
I thought I saw Roger.
Roger Newsome?
I thought I saw his ghost.
I thought I was...
in Hell, being punished for killing him.
Henry. You didn't kill Roger Newsome.
I was supposed to be watching
him, and I fell asleep.
He went out for a haircut, and
he got shot. I was responsible.
- He's mostly responsible.
- I still feel guilty.
And if Ruth were ever to find
out, she'd leave me in a heartbeat.
Ruth doesn't know?
George. She can never know.
No, right.
Right.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(KNOCKING)
(WHISPERING): Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?
- (SNORING)
- Oh! Sweet mother of...
Something wrong?
Effie, have you seen... a piece
of paper? I've lost my speech.
What, the one where you tell the
story about Henry killing Roger?
Ruth hasn't see it has she?
- Why shouldn't Ruth see it?
- (STAMMERING)
It turns out she doesn't...
exactly know the whole story.
Ah.
So, you decided your best man speech
would be a good time to tell the
bride her husband killed her brother?
Well, no, that's not what
it was. I was trying to
just tell a funny story
about how they first met.
Yes, well, it was quite funny.
- Rather well-written, too.
- Thank God.
- I'm going to burn...
- I think I'll keep it.
- What?!
- You see,
there's a small favour
I'd like you to do for me.
♪
If you go in there to get married,
you'll likely be in the
room with whoever shot you.
- But it was an accident, right?
- There's no way of knowing that.
Still. I have to go in there.
Henry, perhaps you could delay
the wedding until we know more.
(SIGHING)
No.
William, when you were on your way
to the altar, would you have let
one stray bullet stop
you from getting married?
- Would you, Tom?
- No.
Listen to me, Higgins.
Just because we don't
work together anymore
and you're about to
marry into a lot of money
doesn't mean you can call me Tom.
- Ahem.
- Why not?
You're right, Henry.
Nothing would have stopped me.
Well,
I guess it's time I got married.
Shame Crabtree gave him that pen.
Sir, if you could keep
an eye on the window,
- the constables and I will mind the guests.
- Aye aye, Murdoch.
I want you to find
Grandmother Newsome's pearls.
What do I have to do with any pearls?
Here's what happened. Four
years ago, on my wedding day,
Moomama gave me a lovely necklace.
Not very valuable, but it's
been in the family for ages.
An heirloom, you see.
Well, after I got divorced,
dear Rupert invited himself
right over and stole it.
- The cad.
- Well, it has nothing to do with me.
Yes, of course it does.
- You're going to find it for me.
- No, I'm not.
Oh. Well then, I suppose I'll
have to tell Ruth about Roger.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
Fine.
Oh, good.
Shall we?
(FLUTE MUSIC BEING PLAYED)
Where is she?
She should be right behind us.
I'll go have a look.
I wouldn't worry, Higgins.
I'm sure she's just...
- Ah!
- (INDISTINCT MURMURING)
(WHISPERING): You must
listen to me, Ruth. Please!
Everything is going to be
fine. Just please just hush now.
Place the bride's hand upon
the groom, if you please.
I can't do it!
- Ruth, you really must...
- OK, stop it. Stop it, Bingo!
- You need to pull yourself together!
- No!
No, I can't be a part of this.
Ahem.
(JULIA): William, who is that man?
Oh... that's Ruth's cousin.
He was in the room
where the gun was taken.
- He does not look happy.
- No.
Dearly beloved, here we are
gathered on this
finest of days to join
Ruth Alfreda Newsome
and Henry Hieronymus Higgins
in holy matrimony.
Where's Effie?
She went to look for you.
- Terribly sorry, do go on.
- Ah, yes.
First I ask if there is any man present
- who has any reason...
- I am. I am such a man!
Dear Lord, Plummie, what
on earth are you doing?!
You know we were meant to be
together, Ruthie. I love you.
- I've always loved you.
- Stop, you're being a fool.
No. This boor is only
marrying you for your money!
- Please Ruthie, please!
- Come now, son, step down,
- let's get some air.
- Oh!
- (NERVOUS LAUGHING)
- Did you say that was her cousin?
Newsomes...
Do you, Ruth Alfreda Newsome,
take this man to be your husband...
to hold him and love him,
to care for him and nurture him,
in times of ailment and haleness,
prosperity and ruin,
in times of unending joy
and bottomless sorrow,
for all the days and
nights granted unto you
- by the Lord...
- Sh!
So long as you shall live?
I do.
- (SIGHING)
- And do you,
Henry Hieronymus Higgins
take this woman to be your wife...
- George, what are you are you doing?
- You're wearing...
- you're wearing my jacket...
- George, what are you...
Henry! The ring!
Stand over there. I will get it.
(EXCLAMATIONS OF SHOCK)
Henny, you're not dead, are you?
I don't think so... I...
Everybody get back, give him some air.
McNabb, Dimmick, close the front doors.
- Nobody leaves the building.
- Henry, are you quite all right?
I... I think... what...
You were standing right there.
If you hadn't gone for that ring...
Thanks.
George, you saved my life again!
(LAUGHING)
There.
The mechanism for
lowering the chandelier.
Why are there mechanisms
for lowering chandeliers?
People have to clean them.
Oh. Huh.
It's been deliberately cut through.
Someone is trying to harm Henry Higgins.
So no one in there watching
the wedding could have done it.
Rupert Newsome walked out.
As did the Maid of Honour.
And that nutcase of a cousin
who tried to stop the wedding.
Is it over?
I've missed it, haven't I?
Oh, Gigi, you really are a fathead!
I was simply unable to
bear witness to such a...
- tragedy.
- Tragedy?
Oh, come now.
Henry Higgins, a Newsome? (SCOFFING)
Pah. No!
It would be an insult to
the Newsome family name,
one from which we might never recover.
- I thought you liked Henry.
- As did I.
But this morning, I got to thinking.
For instance,
what would the Phanshaws think?
- I don't know. What?
- Well, just picture it!
The Phanshaws come round for
a nice dinner with the Newsomes
and there's Henry Higgins.
So, Ruthie hasn't married?
It seems that someone
didn't want her to.
Where did you go when you walked out?
The garden. I needed some
air to calm my nerves.
He has rather some trouble with
his nerves, don't you, Pelham?
Yes. The doctor says I need fresh air
and lots of it. He says
that's the only thing. Say,
where has Ruth gone?
- Did anyone see you?
- I doubt it.
But we were together. I
was with him the whole time.
(DISTANT HORSE NEIGHING)
No, fine, I wasn't off looking
for Ruth. I was smoking.
Smoking? So, you were
going to miss the wedding?
- That was the aim.
- You're the Maid of Honour.
- Matron.
- Nevertheless.
I was bloody well tired
of the whole bloody thing
and I thought I'd nip out for a puff.
Hang me.
I was asleep.
- I can prove it.
- All right.
You see, I was dreaming
that Ruthie and I were lions
and we were prancing
about in a field of lilies,
back home at Ham Hill.
Oh. No, that's not proof.
- No. Of course.
- Why would you decide
to lie down and fall asleep when
the wedding was about to be begin?
No, no. You dear man.
You see, I have a
beastly medical condition.
- That causes you to fall asleep?
- Yes, that's right.
- I can't recall the name of it...
- Narcolepsy.
No, that's not it.
Narcolepsy is the medical condition
- that causes you to fall asleep.
- To fall asleep...
And how would you know what
causes me to fall asleep?
- Well, I uh...
- Say...
that stout fellow over there.
He's not one of those... Never mind.
I'll find out for myself.
- Toodle pip!
- Where were you smoking your cigarette?
- Outside.
- Outside where?
I don't know. Who cares?
Why would I want to
kill little Henry anyway?
Now, quit stalling and go
on and get me that necklace.
- Rupert?
- Oh, please!
we're old friends now. Call me Bingo.
Right. Well, I've heard
a funny story just now.
Oh? I love funny stories.
Yes, well, this one involves you
and a string of stolen pearls.
Stolen? They were a wedding gift.
When Effie ceased to be
wed, they ceased to be hers.
Moomama would hardly have
wanted them worn by a divorcée.
She would positively die...
if she weren't dead already.
Dysentery, you know.
She was visiting Croydon.
Bad air.
Perhaps I could just
have a look at them?
- Whatever for?
- To finish the story.
A picture is worth a
thousand words and all that.
Well, you'll just have to wait.
I've wrapped them up and given
them to Ruth as a wedding present.
One of the gifts?
How am I supposed to know which one?
Well, presumably it will say
"To Ruru, Love Bonny-bon"
or some such nonsense.
Now, give me my speech.
Your speech is safe. You can
have it once I have my pearls.
(SIGHING HEAVILY)
Well, aren't I a lucky old lemon.
(GEORGE CHUCKLING
NERVOUSLY) Miss Cholmondeley.
- I was actually just...
- Sh.
How about we take a little stroll
and get ourselves a good reminder
of all nature has to offer, what?
Here he is!
Here's the fiend!
Oof!
Don't you move a solitary
muscle, Mr. Crabtree...
or should I call you
Mr. Criminal Mastermind?
Don't answer that. I
don't care what you think.
All that matters is that you spend
the rest of your
natural life behind bars.
I hereby declare a citizen's arrest.
(MUTED): Police!
Arrest this man! (GROANING)
- Citizen's arrest!
- Citizen's arrest?!
- What for?
- Well, first of all,
I don't exactly fancy the liberties
you're taking with my cousin.
Ugh! But more importantly,
- you stole my wedding gift for Ruth.
- No!
I am not and I did not.
I told you about it and two
minutes later, it was gone.
- If you didn't steal those pearls, who did?
- Pearls!
You were going to give
me Moomama's pearls?
I was. It was to be a surprise.
But I love pearls...
and surprises...
- Oh, I know, Ruthie, I know.
- (RUTH CRYING)
I can't believe you'd
do this to me, George!
And betray dear old Effie like that?
- I didn't...
- You are just jealous, aren't you? You're a...
pitiable... pitiable...
- Henry, what's another word?
- Toad?
- A pitiable toad!
- Toad!
George. You are my best man
and you're ruining our wedding.
I'm ruining your wedding? Henry,
somebody out there
is trying to kill you!
What've I missed?
They've postponed the
wedding until tomorrow.
They say there's enough room
for us all to stay the night.
Excellent.
♪
Oh, William, there's
something you should see.
Since there's a thief in our midst,
I thought I would lock
the ring away overnight.
Look. The dial's been chipped.
Hmm. So have the hinges.
Someone's trying to break into
it. What do you keep inside?
Nothing of any value...
birth certificate...
Roger's dentures...
oh, the newspaper from
the day I was born...
my letter from Father.
- "For Ruth upon her wedding."
- Mm.
Miss Newsome, we must open this.
Oh. But Father said to
open it after I'm married.
Yes but whoever was
trying to break into this
may be after this letter.
But Father said to open
it after I'm married.
I need to examine it.
It may tell us who was
trying to kill Henry.
But Father said to open
it after I'm married.
Dear, what if William
promised not to open it? Hmm?
(GEORGE): Effie. I need it back.
Need what back?
- The necklace.
- Well, no.
Effie. You have to. Look,
- Ruth has found out...
- I don't care.
Those pearls are mine.
(EXHALING HEAVILY)
Well, at least give me my speech.
I'm not falling for that trick.
If I open this door you'll barge
right in and take the necklace.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(DISTANT DOOR SLAMMING)
♪
(DOOR CLOSING)
There, that should
provide sufficient wattage
to reveal what's inside.
Does it only work on paper?
Or might it be used to
"reveal" other things?
It's only intended for paper.
And it seems to be
working remarkably well.
(SIGHING) Perhaps...
we should give up
and move on to more exciting endeavors.
Hmm. I may be able to decipher it...
I wish you could
"decipher" what I'm saying.
Oh.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
- (OBJECT CLATTERING)
- Oh.
♪
♪
(GIGI): George! What are you doing here?
- Well, I, I, I just...
- Sh!
- We'll have to be quick.
- No, no, no, no, no...
Luckily, the letter
was only folded once...
But I believe I have it.
"To Boopsy on her wedding day,
I leave you one last game to play.
Your cherished D'Arcy you will find,
but first, a challenge of the mind:
where Snow did fall I've hid the key
to this domestic mystery."
This is what our thief
was trying to get.
Presumably Mr. Newsome has
hidden something for "Boopsy".
And someone may be trying to kill Henry
in order to keep her from finding it.
Come now, you pretty little
prowler! Don't play coy.
What other reason could you
have for sneaking into my room
in the middle of the night?
No...
- (GEORGE GRUNTING)
- (GIGI LAUGHING)
There's only one reason I can think of.
And it's something that'll
wake up half of Mimico.
No. Miss Cholmondeley, please!
Don't be so formal, Georgie!
- We mustn't.
- Whyn't?!
Because we can't! Not
until after the wedding.
I mean, we can't...
we can't allow our passions
to get in the way of what should be
the celebration of the love of others.
My mind knows you're right, old bean.
But my hands have
another idea altogether!
- (GEORGE GRUNTING)
- (KISSING SOUNDS)
(DOOR OPENING)
Ah!
- (GEORGE AND HENRY SCREAMING)
- Who was that?!
I don't know, but he was
trying to cut your head off!
(WHISTLING)
- Rupert?
- Oh.
Hello, chaps.
For the last time, it wasn't me.
I swear it.
You wanted to stop the wedding.
So, you snuck in to the room
to kill the groom to keep
him out of your family.
No! No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No. No.
You were standing right there
with a sword in your hand.
Yes... but I never
went into Henry's room.
There was another man who
rushed by me in the hallway.
You're saying that
there was a second man
with a second sword,
also sneaking around
under the cover of darkness
at the exact same time?
Well, it sounds implausible
when you say it like that.
I was bringing the
sword to Henry as a gift.
It's the most valuable
item in the house.
A piece of the crown jewels of...
uh... I can't remember,
Sweden or Ceylon or someplace.
- A gift.
- I was trying to buy him off.
I cannot let Ruth marry him.
Because of dinner with the Phanshaws.
No.
Because the Phanshaws don't
come round for dinner anymore.
No one comes round anymore.
Once Ruthie marries, they'll
move into the Toronto house
and I'll be the only one left.
Alone.
The loneliest man in all Mimico.
♪
Mm! There's my sinister little Cossack.
- Geraldine!
- I was well bucked to see you last night,
but can't say I got
much sleep afterwards.
- Now where were we...
- Geraldine! I can't...
George Crabtree!
- What are you doing to poor Gigi? Get off of her!
- I'm not...
- She's an invalid, you know.
- Invalid?
- Narcolepsy.
- Oh...
And poor Effie is going
to be so heartbroken.
I'm sure she will not be.
In fact, the only reason I came
- was to give you these.
- Oh!
(EXHALING HEAVILY)
(SIGHING)
- Rupert Newsome didn't do it.
- Really?
This sword is purely decorative.
It's not sharp enough to
cut through fabric like this.
In actual fact, it's a
replica. These jewels are fake.
No big surprise that Rupert
would try to buy Henry
off with a fake sword.
Those swords on the other hand,
antiques, but every
one of them razor-sharp.
No-one reported seeing anyone
leaving or entering
their room last night,
save for Effie Newsome.
Why would she want Henry dead?
Why would anyone, for that matter?
Perhaps our letter will shed
some light on who that might be.
- I want it back.
- Want what back?
You know exactly what.
I know you snuck into my
room last night and stole it.
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- No?
Well, it's a good thing
I have your speech then.
Though perhaps I'll be handing
it off to someone else soon.
You know what? You do what you will.
The only person you'll
be hurting is Ruth.
"Where Snow did fall I've hid the key
to this domestic mystery."
Oh, goody! Father always used
to bury little gifts for me.
It was my absolute favourite.
"Snow" is capitalized.
Perhaps you had a pet by that name
- buried somewhere on the property?
- No.
Oh, there was Mr. Snow. He was
Roger's valet for donkey's years.
I hope he's not buried here.
Oh, no.
Although he did shoot
himself in the garden.
Right over there. Oh, what fun!
I'll find something to dig with.
♪
Ah, George.
(SIGHING)
♪
I think I have something.
It looks like a treasure chest.
Hurry, hurry, hurry! It's my treasure!
- It's empty.
- (MURDOCH): The lock's been broken.
Somebody's beaten us to it.
- What do you think it could have been?
- Well, obviously it was a key.
- What?
- It says right here.
"Where Snow did fall I've hid the key."
Well, I think in this case
"key" may have been figurative.
No, but Daddy promised me a
house. Surely he'd leave me a key.
- What house?
- The D'Arcy house.
Oh, I think that he was
referring to Mr. Darcy.
- Who?
- (GEORGE): Jane Austen.
- Who?
- Actually, no.
In this case, "D'Arcy" is
spelled with a D apostrophe A.
- Like the Toronto street.
- Yes. D'Arcy Street.
That's what I've been telling you.
Someone has stolen the
key to the Toronto house.
Watts.
I need you to look
into something for me.
Promise me you won't lose this, Henry.
How am I going to lose it? We're
getting married in 20 minutes.
- What's this?
- Ooh! It's probably a clue.
- Let me see!
- Oh, right.
I left my jacket in my room.
The letter must be George's.
Oh, how wondrous!
It's all about how much
we love each other, Henry!
Did George write this?
It must be his best man speech.
Ruthie! Let me see that, will you?
It's all about how we first met...
oh, and how it was love
at first sight, and...
oh, how you fell asleep and
then caused Roger's death!
Oh. Oh...
He must be joking.
No, but... it's not funny.
- It says that you killed Roger.
- You know George.
No sense of humour.
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
I don't think now is
the best time, William.
- Miss Newsome.
- Mm-hmm.
The key that was buried by
your father has been stolen.
A jeweled sword that hung on this
wall was replaced with a fake.
I believe someone has been
robbing this family blind.
Well, it's just a sword and a house.
I inquired at the bank.
It appears all of the family's
accounts have been drained.
What?!
- What do you mean, "drained"?
- There's nothing left.
Even this estate has been mortgaged.
I don't think I understand.
Are you saying that...
- what are you saying?
- I'm saying the Newsomes are penniless.
Well, surely there's a million left?
Nothing. In fact, they
are in quite some debt.
I suppose the wedding's off, then.
Yes. I suppose it is.
Ah.
♪
Perhaps it's for the best that this
happened now, before the wedding.
But my whole life is ruined, sir.
The way I see it, Higgins,
if you don't want to marry
her now that she has no money,
perhaps she was never the one for you.
George. I'm only worried
about that because I know
Ruth won't be able to live
the life of a commoner.
Are you trying to say you
don't care about the money?
Of course I care about
it. I'm not an idiot, sir.
But I'd still marry my
Roo-berry-pie without it.
Then why did you call off the wedding?
I didn't call it off. She did.
George, I killed her brother.
I suppose I'm partly to blame for that.
No.
I'm the one who fell asleep that day.
And I'm the one who
lied to Ruth about it.
It takes a good man to know
when he's at fault, Higgins.
Sir, in light of recent events...
- Oh, bloody hell.
- If you could see it in your heart
to have me back, sir? I know
I don't deserve such a kindness
- in light of my behaviour.
- Higgins, that's enough.
Sir, I was a veritable worm.
I was less than a worm. I was a...
- A grub?
- I was a grub, sir.
I see that now.
But I am a grub who has nothing.
Please give me my job back.
Fine! Just stop your bloody sniveling.
- Oh sir, thank you!
- Higgins, get off!
Every account empty or overdrawn.
And your signature is
on every withdrawal.
I don't understand...
You took the money.
I didn't.
The Toronto house, on
D'Arcy Street, was sold.
Miss Newsome was going to move there
after she was married,
thereby exposing your theft.
Yes, quite right.
I did it.
- You did?
- Yes.
I spent it all on booze and
cigars and other sundries.
Great fun, but obviously
I regret it now.
But why would you need to send $80,000
to a bank account in San
Francisco to purchase "sundries"?
Hoo.
Good question.
Ginseng?
The important thing is, I did it.
Mystery solved.
I hate you, George Crabtree.
Yes, and you have every reason
to. But that's the thing, Ruth!
You have no reason to
be angry with Henry.
Look, I'm the one who wrote that
speech and the fact of the matter is,
I made the whole thing up.
What?
I mean, it's true on
the day that Roger died,
he was determined,
adamant even, that he
go off and get a haircut
for his court appearance.
Nevertheless, it was Henry who said,
"No, no, no. You mustn't.
It's far too dangerous."
Then, later, while again, Henry
was off getting us all our suppers,
I fell asleep.
Roger left.
I'm the one responsible.
Oh!
Oh, you really are
the worst, aren't you?
Yes. Yes, I am.
You are so jealous of Henry
dear sweet Henry, your best
friend in the whole world...
that you would go and tell a
host of lies on his wedding day?
What, out of spite?
- Jealousy?
- Yes. That's what I did.
Now that it's settled,
will you still marry Higgins?
What?
That Roger business
doesn't have anything to do
with why we're not getting married.
- It doesn't?
- Of course not.
I could have forgiven him for that.
Well, then the wedding is still on.
We're destitute, George.
Henry would never marry me now.
I have a feeling he could be convinced.
Oh, Ruthie!
- Of course I'll still marry you!
- But...
but I have nothing.
But we will have everything.
(JULIA): Presumably the thief
is the one who tried
to break into the safe,
but Mr. Newsome would
have that combination.
Have a look at this.
There appears to be two distinctly
different sets of signatures.
When he's writing a cheque
to the tobacconist or for an automobile,
it's slanted, messy.
But for a significant sum,
it's neat and controlled.
Forgery?
But who?
Someone who obviously knew
about the D'Arcy house.
Someone in the family.
I hate to admit it, but perhaps
it's Ruth Newsome herself.
Me?
Oh, that's nonsense. I don't
know a thing about bank doodahs.
Uncle Connie takes care of all that.
Your uncle was in charge
of the family finances?
Of course. Oh!
We should ask him who took the money.
He left the wedding
before the chandelier fell.
Yes, but he was supposedly with his son.
(EFFIE): No, he wasn't.
I was smoking a cigarette and saw
Plum walking the gardens alone.
Leaving your uncle unaccounted for.
But why would Mr. Newsome
lie and claim responsibility?
Perhaps they colluded.
Or he was angry.
What do you mean?
I've witnessed Rupert's
temper more than once.
He might be trying to kill the man.
(MEN SCREAMING)
COME BACK, THIEF!
(SCREAMING)
- It was an accident, man! Listen to me!
- No!
I just needed to borrow a little capital
for an opportunity in California.
I was going to have the money
back inside of your accounts
- inside of a fortnight.
- I am not listening!
It was a sure thing.
But then the quake hit Frisco and,
well, it wasn't so sure anymore.
I had to borrow more money to
make back the money I'd lost
and delay the wedding
so you wouldn't find out
- until I could buy back the Toronto house...
- Silence!
Stop this pleading and
prepare to die, will you?
- (GASPING)
- Mr. Newsome!
Put the sword down or you will
be charged with attempted murder.
- Charged?
- Rupert, no!
- Henry!
- (GROANING)
Ah!
Oh, thank God.
Well played, old boy.
Thank you, Mr. Newsome.
The sword, you idiot.
Constantine Kimberley,
you are under arrest for the thrice
attempted murder of Henry Higgins.
What?
To be honest,
the pearls look better on Ruthie anyway.
I should say, I'm sorry about
everything that happened.
Effie. I just want to
get through the wedding.
(MENDELSSOHN'S WEDDING MARCH)
(MINISTER): Um...
Say no more, Minister.
- (MAN): Smile!
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
(APPLAUSE)
Would you?
Henry, couldn't you
get us a clean horse?
Well, it's spotted, dear.
Horses don't have spots, Henry.
(GEORGE): Well, Higgins,
best of luck to you. I suppose I'll
be seeing you at work after all.
Now, George, now, you must promise
that you two will come and have
supper with us sometimes, yes?
No, no, no. No, absolutely not.
Look, I have saved Henry's
life three times this weekend.
You wouldn't even be getting married
if it wasn't for me. All I want
is never to lay eyes on Effie again.
Oh, no! George, I know that
you don't care for Effie.
I heard you loud and
clear, so I've decided
to align you with your heart's desire.
- Enjoy!
- (WOMAN GIGGLING)
Oh, we've missed the photograph!
- Gigi?
- George!
- Plum?
- Oh dear.
I suppose I owe you a
dribble of an explanash.
Yes, well I dare say, what
is this other than a...
a... a... a terrible betrayal?
I mean, how could I ever
lay eyes on you again?
Please George, no!
I didn't think you'd come.
I like you so much more
than this stoup of pudding.
- You what?
- Oh shut up, Plummie.
You know what this is.
Thank you again, Tom.
- Uh, sir.
- Hmm.
I'll be reporting for
duty on Monday morning.
Monday? You're not going on honeymoon?
What honeymoon? We don't
have any more money!
- (RUTH AND HENRY LAUGHING)
- Adieu, friends.
I know not when we shall meet again,
but meet again we shall.
- Dear lord, Bingo, where are you going?
- To a life of poverty, of course.
There's nothing left
for us here, is there?
The grand adventure of life awaits.
(WHISTLING)
♪ Adventuring I go, adventuring I go, ♪
♪ Hup-ho, hup-ho, adventuring I go ♪
♪ So far from Mimico ♪
♪ Hup-ho, into poverty I go... ♪
True love did win out in the end.
You're right.
In fact, I believe love
is still in the air.
- Oh...
- (JULIA GIGGLING)
(MAN): Goodbye!
(RUTH): Bye-bye!
(JULIA): Do cheer up,
William. It's a wedding.
Weddings tend to bring
out the worst in people.
I'm not certain I'm
ready to see the worst
- of the Mimico Newsomes.
- (JULIA GIGGLING)
I adore weddings.
It always feels like love is in the air.
Congratulations, Higgins.
You mean Higgins-Newsome.
What?
Henry has decided to
hyphenate his last name.
- Why?
- Well, it's a rather storied clan I'm joining.
Being a Newsome is going
to be very much preferable
to being a constable.
All that responsibility
never sat well with me, Tom.
- Somehow, we'll muddle through without you.
- Hmm.
- Congratulations, Henry.
- Murdoch.
(WHISPERING): How much
did you and the good doctor
spend on your wedding gift?
What's this?
Just a little gift from your best man.
- It's a pen.
- It's a Hanneman.
I thought you could use it to
sign the wedding certificate.
Thank you, George.
You know, your friendship
has always meant so mu...
All right, Higgins, let's...
let's save that for
the speech, shall we?
I'll tell you one thing.
I'm looking forward to
walking into the Station House
Monday morning and seeing a different
man sitting at Higgins' desk.
Yes, there are a number
of strong candidates
for Constable first class.
Have you made your decision yet?
Hardly matters who we pick.
It's called addition
through subtraction, Murdoch.
Gents.
Shall we?
Are you sure you're ready, Henry?
- Not even the slightest case of cold feet?
- No.
Nothing could stop me
from marrying Ruth Newsome.
(GUNSHOT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Whoo-hoo, Henry?
(MAN CHUCKLING) You're
going to be just fine.
Roger?
Roger? (STAMMERING)
I am Rupert, you daft sweet boy.
- I've simply shaved my chops.
- Henry!
Are you hurt?
- I'm fine, I think.
- Fine? You've been shot!
Methinks the shot missed.
- There's a bullet hole in his jacket.
- Oh...
George...
you saved my life.
All right. Thank you, Rupert.
- Brother.
- Yes.
- You're quite welcome, "brother".
- Definitely strange.
Are you quite all right, Henry?
I think so, William.
- 44 calibre.
- A hunting rifle.
An accident, I'd imagine.
- Likely the neighbours hunting grouse.
- With a rifle?
They're Dutch.
I'll go check outside,
see if there's anyone
out there wearing clogs.
Glad you're all right, Henry.
Thank you.
George, my jacket is ruined.
Higgins! That's what you're
worried about? You're alive, man!
Well, how can I get married now?
Well, here, I'll swap you.
Well, thank you, George!
- You know, you really are... no...
- Higgins...
Higgins, it's a jacket.
All right, there.
Crisis averted. Now,
I'll explain to the ladies
- why we've been delayed.
- Oh, one moment...
- my speech.
- Yes.
(DOOR OPENING)
- (DOOR CLOSING)
- Ow...
- (KNOCKING)
- Hmm?
Ruth...
Oh, George. Goody. There's
someone I want you to meet.
Geraldine Cholmondeley.
You can call me Gigi.
I'm Ruthie's cousin
from Ham Hill, Powick,
- Worcestershire.
- I'm sorry, from what?
You're a balmy old egg, aren't you?
Come on, let's get boiled.
Gigi, shush! Ahem.
Now, George Crabtree, I...
oh, I want you to meet my dear,
dear, dear, dear, dear cousin,
this is Effie Newsome
of the Wexford Newsomes.
Not too well off, poor devils,
but still they are Newsomes.
Effie!
George is Henry's best man.
Effie is my Maid of Honour, so...
Matron of Honour.
- Divorced.
- Right.
- Ruth, I have something to tell you.
- Henry...
Henry's been shot. What?!
- He's fine, but he...
- Henny!
(DOOR CLOSING)
(SIGHING)
Um, Effie.
I should say straight off, um,
- Ruth has mentioned that you might be interested in...
- Save your breath.
I just got out of one marriage,
I'm hardly looking to race into another.
Right. It's just, you
know how Ruth can get.
I'd never get involved
with a copper anyway.
I'm at Osgoode preparing for the bar
and if there's one thing I've learned,
it's policemen are the real criminals.
- William, what's happened?
- Henry's been shot.
- Dear God!
- Or rather, shot at.
- Is he all right?
- He's fine.
Found this by a tree in the garden.
There's no sign of the shooter.
The calibre matches the bullet.
That looks like one of the Newsomes'.
- The Newsomes keep guns?
- They keep all sorts of weapons, sir.
Come, come Henry. You must sit down.
All right.
So, someone took it from here,
went out into the garden, and
took a pot shot at Higgins.
Ahem.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Did you happen to see someone
remove this rifle from this room?
What? No.
We only came in a few moments ago.
Who are you two?
Constantine Kimberley and my son Pelham.
The bride's uncle and cousin.
- So, neither of you touched any of these guns?
- What? No.
Excuse us.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
We have no way to determine
exactly when the rifle was taken...
but clearly, it was by
someone inside this house.
Meaning they're likely
a guest at the wedding.
I've just spoken to Ruth. We're
going to go ahead with the wedding.
Are you sure you're feeling all right?
- You look a little distraught.
- I'll be fine.
I mean, you've just
had a brush with death.
- It would be understandable.
- It's not that so much.
When I came to, I...
I thought I saw Roger.
Roger Newsome?
I thought I saw his ghost.
I thought I was...
in Hell, being punished for killing him.
Henry. You didn't kill Roger Newsome.
I was supposed to be watching
him, and I fell asleep.
He went out for a haircut, and
he got shot. I was responsible.
- He's mostly responsible.
- I still feel guilty.
And if Ruth were ever to find
out, she'd leave me in a heartbeat.
Ruth doesn't know?
George. She can never know.
No, right.
Right.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(KNOCKING)
(WHISPERING): Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?
- (SNORING)
- Oh! Sweet mother of...
Something wrong?
Effie, have you seen... a piece
of paper? I've lost my speech.
What, the one where you tell the
story about Henry killing Roger?
Ruth hasn't see it has she?
- Why shouldn't Ruth see it?
- (STAMMERING)
It turns out she doesn't...
exactly know the whole story.
Ah.
So, you decided your best man speech
would be a good time to tell the
bride her husband killed her brother?
Well, no, that's not what
it was. I was trying to
just tell a funny story
about how they first met.
Yes, well, it was quite funny.
- Rather well-written, too.
- Thank God.
- I'm going to burn...
- I think I'll keep it.
- What?!
- You see,
there's a small favour
I'd like you to do for me.
♪
If you go in there to get married,
you'll likely be in the
room with whoever shot you.
- But it was an accident, right?
- There's no way of knowing that.
Still. I have to go in there.
Henry, perhaps you could delay
the wedding until we know more.
(SIGHING)
No.
William, when you were on your way
to the altar, would you have let
one stray bullet stop
you from getting married?
- Would you, Tom?
- No.
Listen to me, Higgins.
Just because we don't
work together anymore
and you're about to
marry into a lot of money
doesn't mean you can call me Tom.
- Ahem.
- Why not?
You're right, Henry.
Nothing would have stopped me.
Well,
I guess it's time I got married.
Shame Crabtree gave him that pen.
Sir, if you could keep
an eye on the window,
- the constables and I will mind the guests.
- Aye aye, Murdoch.
I want you to find
Grandmother Newsome's pearls.
What do I have to do with any pearls?
Here's what happened. Four
years ago, on my wedding day,
Moomama gave me a lovely necklace.
Not very valuable, but it's
been in the family for ages.
An heirloom, you see.
Well, after I got divorced,
dear Rupert invited himself
right over and stole it.
- The cad.
- Well, it has nothing to do with me.
Yes, of course it does.
- You're going to find it for me.
- No, I'm not.
Oh. Well then, I suppose I'll
have to tell Ruth about Roger.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
Fine.
Oh, good.
Shall we?
(FLUTE MUSIC BEING PLAYED)
Where is she?
She should be right behind us.
I'll go have a look.
I wouldn't worry, Higgins.
I'm sure she's just...
- Ah!
- (INDISTINCT MURMURING)
(WHISPERING): You must
listen to me, Ruth. Please!
Everything is going to be
fine. Just please just hush now.
Place the bride's hand upon
the groom, if you please.
I can't do it!
- Ruth, you really must...
- OK, stop it. Stop it, Bingo!
- You need to pull yourself together!
- No!
No, I can't be a part of this.
Ahem.
(JULIA): William, who is that man?
Oh... that's Ruth's cousin.
He was in the room
where the gun was taken.
- He does not look happy.
- No.
Dearly beloved, here we are
gathered on this
finest of days to join
Ruth Alfreda Newsome
and Henry Hieronymus Higgins
in holy matrimony.
Where's Effie?
She went to look for you.
- Terribly sorry, do go on.
- Ah, yes.
First I ask if there is any man present
- who has any reason...
- I am. I am such a man!
Dear Lord, Plummie, what
on earth are you doing?!
You know we were meant to be
together, Ruthie. I love you.
- I've always loved you.
- Stop, you're being a fool.
No. This boor is only
marrying you for your money!
- Please Ruthie, please!
- Come now, son, step down,
- let's get some air.
- Oh!
- (NERVOUS LAUGHING)
- Did you say that was her cousin?
Newsomes...
Do you, Ruth Alfreda Newsome,
take this man to be your husband...
to hold him and love him,
to care for him and nurture him,
in times of ailment and haleness,
prosperity and ruin,
in times of unending joy
and bottomless sorrow,
for all the days and
nights granted unto you
- by the Lord...
- Sh!
So long as you shall live?
I do.
- (SIGHING)
- And do you,
Henry Hieronymus Higgins
take this woman to be your wife...
- George, what are you are you doing?
- You're wearing...
- you're wearing my jacket...
- George, what are you...
Henry! The ring!
Stand over there. I will get it.
(EXCLAMATIONS OF SHOCK)
Henny, you're not dead, are you?
I don't think so... I...
Everybody get back, give him some air.
McNabb, Dimmick, close the front doors.
- Nobody leaves the building.
- Henry, are you quite all right?
I... I think... what...
You were standing right there.
If you hadn't gone for that ring...
Thanks.
George, you saved my life again!
(LAUGHING)
There.
The mechanism for
lowering the chandelier.
Why are there mechanisms
for lowering chandeliers?
People have to clean them.
Oh. Huh.
It's been deliberately cut through.
Someone is trying to harm Henry Higgins.
So no one in there watching
the wedding could have done it.
Rupert Newsome walked out.
As did the Maid of Honour.
And that nutcase of a cousin
who tried to stop the wedding.
Is it over?
I've missed it, haven't I?
Oh, Gigi, you really are a fathead!
I was simply unable to
bear witness to such a...
- tragedy.
- Tragedy?
Oh, come now.
Henry Higgins, a Newsome? (SCOFFING)
Pah. No!
It would be an insult to
the Newsome family name,
one from which we might never recover.
- I thought you liked Henry.
- As did I.
But this morning, I got to thinking.
For instance,
what would the Phanshaws think?
- I don't know. What?
- Well, just picture it!
The Phanshaws come round for
a nice dinner with the Newsomes
and there's Henry Higgins.
So, Ruthie hasn't married?
It seems that someone
didn't want her to.
Where did you go when you walked out?
The garden. I needed some
air to calm my nerves.
He has rather some trouble with
his nerves, don't you, Pelham?
Yes. The doctor says I need fresh air
and lots of it. He says
that's the only thing. Say,
where has Ruth gone?
- Did anyone see you?
- I doubt it.
But we were together. I
was with him the whole time.
(DISTANT HORSE NEIGHING)
No, fine, I wasn't off looking
for Ruth. I was smoking.
Smoking? So, you were
going to miss the wedding?
- That was the aim.
- You're the Maid of Honour.
- Matron.
- Nevertheless.
I was bloody well tired
of the whole bloody thing
and I thought I'd nip out for a puff.
Hang me.
I was asleep.
- I can prove it.
- All right.
You see, I was dreaming
that Ruthie and I were lions
and we were prancing
about in a field of lilies,
back home at Ham Hill.
Oh. No, that's not proof.
- No. Of course.
- Why would you decide
to lie down and fall asleep when
the wedding was about to be begin?
No, no. You dear man.
You see, I have a
beastly medical condition.
- That causes you to fall asleep?
- Yes, that's right.
- I can't recall the name of it...
- Narcolepsy.
No, that's not it.
Narcolepsy is the medical condition
- that causes you to fall asleep.
- To fall asleep...
And how would you know what
causes me to fall asleep?
- Well, I uh...
- Say...
that stout fellow over there.
He's not one of those... Never mind.
I'll find out for myself.
- Toodle pip!
- Where were you smoking your cigarette?
- Outside.
- Outside where?
I don't know. Who cares?
Why would I want to
kill little Henry anyway?
Now, quit stalling and go
on and get me that necklace.
- Rupert?
- Oh, please!
we're old friends now. Call me Bingo.
Right. Well, I've heard
a funny story just now.
Oh? I love funny stories.
Yes, well, this one involves you
and a string of stolen pearls.
Stolen? They were a wedding gift.
When Effie ceased to be
wed, they ceased to be hers.
Moomama would hardly have
wanted them worn by a divorcée.
She would positively die...
if she weren't dead already.
Dysentery, you know.
She was visiting Croydon.
Bad air.
Perhaps I could just
have a look at them?
- Whatever for?
- To finish the story.
A picture is worth a
thousand words and all that.
Well, you'll just have to wait.
I've wrapped them up and given
them to Ruth as a wedding present.
One of the gifts?
How am I supposed to know which one?
Well, presumably it will say
"To Ruru, Love Bonny-bon"
or some such nonsense.
Now, give me my speech.
Your speech is safe. You can
have it once I have my pearls.
(SIGHING HEAVILY)
Well, aren't I a lucky old lemon.
(GEORGE CHUCKLING
NERVOUSLY) Miss Cholmondeley.
- I was actually just...
- Sh.
How about we take a little stroll
and get ourselves a good reminder
of all nature has to offer, what?
Here he is!
Here's the fiend!
Oof!
Don't you move a solitary
muscle, Mr. Crabtree...
or should I call you
Mr. Criminal Mastermind?
Don't answer that. I
don't care what you think.
All that matters is that you spend
the rest of your
natural life behind bars.
I hereby declare a citizen's arrest.
(MUTED): Police!
Arrest this man! (GROANING)
- Citizen's arrest!
- Citizen's arrest?!
- What for?
- Well, first of all,
I don't exactly fancy the liberties
you're taking with my cousin.
Ugh! But more importantly,
- you stole my wedding gift for Ruth.
- No!
I am not and I did not.
I told you about it and two
minutes later, it was gone.
- If you didn't steal those pearls, who did?
- Pearls!
You were going to give
me Moomama's pearls?
I was. It was to be a surprise.
But I love pearls...
and surprises...
- Oh, I know, Ruthie, I know.
- (RUTH CRYING)
I can't believe you'd
do this to me, George!
And betray dear old Effie like that?
- I didn't...
- You are just jealous, aren't you? You're a...
pitiable... pitiable...
- Henry, what's another word?
- Toad?
- A pitiable toad!
- Toad!
George. You are my best man
and you're ruining our wedding.
I'm ruining your wedding? Henry,
somebody out there
is trying to kill you!
What've I missed?
They've postponed the
wedding until tomorrow.
They say there's enough room
for us all to stay the night.
Excellent.
♪
Oh, William, there's
something you should see.
Since there's a thief in our midst,
I thought I would lock
the ring away overnight.
Look. The dial's been chipped.
Hmm. So have the hinges.
Someone's trying to break into
it. What do you keep inside?
Nothing of any value...
birth certificate...
Roger's dentures...
oh, the newspaper from
the day I was born...
my letter from Father.
- "For Ruth upon her wedding."
- Mm.
Miss Newsome, we must open this.
Oh. But Father said to
open it after I'm married.
Yes but whoever was
trying to break into this
may be after this letter.
But Father said to open
it after I'm married.
I need to examine it.
It may tell us who was
trying to kill Henry.
But Father said to open
it after I'm married.
Dear, what if William
promised not to open it? Hmm?
(GEORGE): Effie. I need it back.
Need what back?
- The necklace.
- Well, no.
Effie. You have to. Look,
- Ruth has found out...
- I don't care.
Those pearls are mine.
(EXHALING HEAVILY)
Well, at least give me my speech.
I'm not falling for that trick.
If I open this door you'll barge
right in and take the necklace.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(DISTANT DOOR SLAMMING)
♪
(DOOR CLOSING)
There, that should
provide sufficient wattage
to reveal what's inside.
Does it only work on paper?
Or might it be used to
"reveal" other things?
It's only intended for paper.
And it seems to be
working remarkably well.
(SIGHING) Perhaps...
we should give up
and move on to more exciting endeavors.
Hmm. I may be able to decipher it...
I wish you could
"decipher" what I'm saying.
Oh.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
- (OBJECT CLATTERING)
- Oh.
♪
♪
(GIGI): George! What are you doing here?
- Well, I, I, I just...
- Sh!
- We'll have to be quick.
- No, no, no, no, no...
Luckily, the letter
was only folded once...
But I believe I have it.
"To Boopsy on her wedding day,
I leave you one last game to play.
Your cherished D'Arcy you will find,
but first, a challenge of the mind:
where Snow did fall I've hid the key
to this domestic mystery."
This is what our thief
was trying to get.
Presumably Mr. Newsome has
hidden something for "Boopsy".
And someone may be trying to kill Henry
in order to keep her from finding it.
Come now, you pretty little
prowler! Don't play coy.
What other reason could you
have for sneaking into my room
in the middle of the night?
No...
- (GEORGE GRUNTING)
- (GIGI LAUGHING)
There's only one reason I can think of.
And it's something that'll
wake up half of Mimico.
No. Miss Cholmondeley, please!
Don't be so formal, Georgie!
- We mustn't.
- Whyn't?!
Because we can't! Not
until after the wedding.
I mean, we can't...
we can't allow our passions
to get in the way of what should be
the celebration of the love of others.
My mind knows you're right, old bean.
But my hands have
another idea altogether!
- (GEORGE GRUNTING)
- (KISSING SOUNDS)
(DOOR OPENING)
Ah!
- (GEORGE AND HENRY SCREAMING)
- Who was that?!
I don't know, but he was
trying to cut your head off!
(WHISTLING)
- Rupert?
- Oh.
Hello, chaps.
For the last time, it wasn't me.
I swear it.
You wanted to stop the wedding.
So, you snuck in to the room
to kill the groom to keep
him out of your family.
No! No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No. No.
You were standing right there
with a sword in your hand.
Yes... but I never
went into Henry's room.
There was another man who
rushed by me in the hallway.
You're saying that
there was a second man
with a second sword,
also sneaking around
under the cover of darkness
at the exact same time?
Well, it sounds implausible
when you say it like that.
I was bringing the
sword to Henry as a gift.
It's the most valuable
item in the house.
A piece of the crown jewels of...
uh... I can't remember,
Sweden or Ceylon or someplace.
- A gift.
- I was trying to buy him off.
I cannot let Ruth marry him.
Because of dinner with the Phanshaws.
No.
Because the Phanshaws don't
come round for dinner anymore.
No one comes round anymore.
Once Ruthie marries, they'll
move into the Toronto house
and I'll be the only one left.
Alone.
The loneliest man in all Mimico.
♪
Mm! There's my sinister little Cossack.
- Geraldine!
- I was well bucked to see you last night,
but can't say I got
much sleep afterwards.
- Now where were we...
- Geraldine! I can't...
George Crabtree!
- What are you doing to poor Gigi? Get off of her!
- I'm not...
- She's an invalid, you know.
- Invalid?
- Narcolepsy.
- Oh...
And poor Effie is going
to be so heartbroken.
I'm sure she will not be.
In fact, the only reason I came
- was to give you these.
- Oh!
(EXHALING HEAVILY)
(SIGHING)
- Rupert Newsome didn't do it.
- Really?
This sword is purely decorative.
It's not sharp enough to
cut through fabric like this.
In actual fact, it's a
replica. These jewels are fake.
No big surprise that Rupert
would try to buy Henry
off with a fake sword.
Those swords on the other hand,
antiques, but every
one of them razor-sharp.
No-one reported seeing anyone
leaving or entering
their room last night,
save for Effie Newsome.
Why would she want Henry dead?
Why would anyone, for that matter?
Perhaps our letter will shed
some light on who that might be.
- I want it back.
- Want what back?
You know exactly what.
I know you snuck into my
room last night and stole it.
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- No?
Well, it's a good thing
I have your speech then.
Though perhaps I'll be handing
it off to someone else soon.
You know what? You do what you will.
The only person you'll
be hurting is Ruth.
"Where Snow did fall I've hid the key
to this domestic mystery."
Oh, goody! Father always used
to bury little gifts for me.
It was my absolute favourite.
"Snow" is capitalized.
Perhaps you had a pet by that name
- buried somewhere on the property?
- No.
Oh, there was Mr. Snow. He was
Roger's valet for donkey's years.
I hope he's not buried here.
Oh, no.
Although he did shoot
himself in the garden.
Right over there. Oh, what fun!
I'll find something to dig with.
♪
Ah, George.
(SIGHING)
♪
I think I have something.
It looks like a treasure chest.
Hurry, hurry, hurry! It's my treasure!
- It's empty.
- (MURDOCH): The lock's been broken.
Somebody's beaten us to it.
- What do you think it could have been?
- Well, obviously it was a key.
- What?
- It says right here.
"Where Snow did fall I've hid the key."
Well, I think in this case
"key" may have been figurative.
No, but Daddy promised me a
house. Surely he'd leave me a key.
- What house?
- The D'Arcy house.
Oh, I think that he was
referring to Mr. Darcy.
- Who?
- (GEORGE): Jane Austen.
- Who?
- Actually, no.
In this case, "D'Arcy" is
spelled with a D apostrophe A.
- Like the Toronto street.
- Yes. D'Arcy Street.
That's what I've been telling you.
Someone has stolen the
key to the Toronto house.
Watts.
I need you to look
into something for me.
Promise me you won't lose this, Henry.
How am I going to lose it? We're
getting married in 20 minutes.
- What's this?
- Ooh! It's probably a clue.
- Let me see!
- Oh, right.
I left my jacket in my room.
The letter must be George's.
Oh, how wondrous!
It's all about how much
we love each other, Henry!
Did George write this?
It must be his best man speech.
Ruthie! Let me see that, will you?
It's all about how we first met...
oh, and how it was love
at first sight, and...
oh, how you fell asleep and
then caused Roger's death!
Oh. Oh...
He must be joking.
No, but... it's not funny.
- It says that you killed Roger.
- You know George.
No sense of humour.
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
I don't think now is
the best time, William.
- Miss Newsome.
- Mm-hmm.
The key that was buried by
your father has been stolen.
A jeweled sword that hung on this
wall was replaced with a fake.
I believe someone has been
robbing this family blind.
Well, it's just a sword and a house.
I inquired at the bank.
It appears all of the family's
accounts have been drained.
What?!
- What do you mean, "drained"?
- There's nothing left.
Even this estate has been mortgaged.
I don't think I understand.
Are you saying that...
- what are you saying?
- I'm saying the Newsomes are penniless.
Well, surely there's a million left?
Nothing. In fact, they
are in quite some debt.
I suppose the wedding's off, then.
Yes. I suppose it is.
Ah.
♪
Perhaps it's for the best that this
happened now, before the wedding.
But my whole life is ruined, sir.
The way I see it, Higgins,
if you don't want to marry
her now that she has no money,
perhaps she was never the one for you.
George. I'm only worried
about that because I know
Ruth won't be able to live
the life of a commoner.
Are you trying to say you
don't care about the money?
Of course I care about
it. I'm not an idiot, sir.
But I'd still marry my
Roo-berry-pie without it.
Then why did you call off the wedding?
I didn't call it off. She did.
George, I killed her brother.
I suppose I'm partly to blame for that.
No.
I'm the one who fell asleep that day.
And I'm the one who
lied to Ruth about it.
It takes a good man to know
when he's at fault, Higgins.
Sir, in light of recent events...
- Oh, bloody hell.
- If you could see it in your heart
to have me back, sir? I know
I don't deserve such a kindness
- in light of my behaviour.
- Higgins, that's enough.
Sir, I was a veritable worm.
I was less than a worm. I was a...
- A grub?
- I was a grub, sir.
I see that now.
But I am a grub who has nothing.
Please give me my job back.
Fine! Just stop your bloody sniveling.
- Oh sir, thank you!
- Higgins, get off!
Every account empty or overdrawn.
And your signature is
on every withdrawal.
I don't understand...
You took the money.
I didn't.
The Toronto house, on
D'Arcy Street, was sold.
Miss Newsome was going to move there
after she was married,
thereby exposing your theft.
Yes, quite right.
I did it.
- You did?
- Yes.
I spent it all on booze and
cigars and other sundries.
Great fun, but obviously
I regret it now.
But why would you need to send $80,000
to a bank account in San
Francisco to purchase "sundries"?
Hoo.
Good question.
Ginseng?
The important thing is, I did it.
Mystery solved.
I hate you, George Crabtree.
Yes, and you have every reason
to. But that's the thing, Ruth!
You have no reason to
be angry with Henry.
Look, I'm the one who wrote that
speech and the fact of the matter is,
I made the whole thing up.
What?
I mean, it's true on
the day that Roger died,
he was determined,
adamant even, that he
go off and get a haircut
for his court appearance.
Nevertheless, it was Henry who said,
"No, no, no. You mustn't.
It's far too dangerous."
Then, later, while again, Henry
was off getting us all our suppers,
I fell asleep.
Roger left.
I'm the one responsible.
Oh!
Oh, you really are
the worst, aren't you?
Yes. Yes, I am.
You are so jealous of Henry
dear sweet Henry, your best
friend in the whole world...
that you would go and tell a
host of lies on his wedding day?
What, out of spite?
- Jealousy?
- Yes. That's what I did.
Now that it's settled,
will you still marry Higgins?
What?
That Roger business
doesn't have anything to do
with why we're not getting married.
- It doesn't?
- Of course not.
I could have forgiven him for that.
Well, then the wedding is still on.
We're destitute, George.
Henry would never marry me now.
I have a feeling he could be convinced.
Oh, Ruthie!
- Of course I'll still marry you!
- But...
but I have nothing.
But we will have everything.
(JULIA): Presumably the thief
is the one who tried
to break into the safe,
but Mr. Newsome would
have that combination.
Have a look at this.
There appears to be two distinctly
different sets of signatures.
When he's writing a cheque
to the tobacconist or for an automobile,
it's slanted, messy.
But for a significant sum,
it's neat and controlled.
Forgery?
But who?
Someone who obviously knew
about the D'Arcy house.
Someone in the family.
I hate to admit it, but perhaps
it's Ruth Newsome herself.
Me?
Oh, that's nonsense. I don't
know a thing about bank doodahs.
Uncle Connie takes care of all that.
Your uncle was in charge
of the family finances?
Of course. Oh!
We should ask him who took the money.
He left the wedding
before the chandelier fell.
Yes, but he was supposedly with his son.
(EFFIE): No, he wasn't.
I was smoking a cigarette and saw
Plum walking the gardens alone.
Leaving your uncle unaccounted for.
But why would Mr. Newsome
lie and claim responsibility?
Perhaps they colluded.
Or he was angry.
What do you mean?
I've witnessed Rupert's
temper more than once.
He might be trying to kill the man.
(MEN SCREAMING)
COME BACK, THIEF!
(SCREAMING)
- It was an accident, man! Listen to me!
- No!
I just needed to borrow a little capital
for an opportunity in California.
I was going to have the money
back inside of your accounts
- inside of a fortnight.
- I am not listening!
It was a sure thing.
But then the quake hit Frisco and,
well, it wasn't so sure anymore.
I had to borrow more money to
make back the money I'd lost
and delay the wedding
so you wouldn't find out
- until I could buy back the Toronto house...
- Silence!
Stop this pleading and
prepare to die, will you?
- (GASPING)
- Mr. Newsome!
Put the sword down or you will
be charged with attempted murder.
- Charged?
- Rupert, no!
- Henry!
- (GROANING)
Ah!
Oh, thank God.
Well played, old boy.
Thank you, Mr. Newsome.
The sword, you idiot.
Constantine Kimberley,
you are under arrest for the thrice
attempted murder of Henry Higgins.
What?
To be honest,
the pearls look better on Ruthie anyway.
I should say, I'm sorry about
everything that happened.
Effie. I just want to
get through the wedding.
(MENDELSSOHN'S WEDDING MARCH)
(MINISTER): Um...
Say no more, Minister.
- (MAN): Smile!
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
(APPLAUSE)
Would you?
Henry, couldn't you
get us a clean horse?
Well, it's spotted, dear.
Horses don't have spots, Henry.
(GEORGE): Well, Higgins,
best of luck to you. I suppose I'll
be seeing you at work after all.
Now, George, now, you must promise
that you two will come and have
supper with us sometimes, yes?
No, no, no. No, absolutely not.
Look, I have saved Henry's
life three times this weekend.
You wouldn't even be getting married
if it wasn't for me. All I want
is never to lay eyes on Effie again.
Oh, no! George, I know that
you don't care for Effie.
I heard you loud and
clear, so I've decided
to align you with your heart's desire.
- Enjoy!
- (WOMAN GIGGLING)
Oh, we've missed the photograph!
- Gigi?
- George!
- Plum?
- Oh dear.
I suppose I owe you a
dribble of an explanash.
Yes, well I dare say, what
is this other than a...
a... a... a terrible betrayal?
I mean, how could I ever
lay eyes on you again?
Please George, no!
I didn't think you'd come.
I like you so much more
than this stoup of pudding.
- You what?
- Oh shut up, Plummie.
You know what this is.
Thank you again, Tom.
- Uh, sir.
- Hmm.
I'll be reporting for
duty on Monday morning.
Monday? You're not going on honeymoon?
What honeymoon? We don't
have any more money!
- (RUTH AND HENRY LAUGHING)
- Adieu, friends.
I know not when we shall meet again,
but meet again we shall.
- Dear lord, Bingo, where are you going?
- To a life of poverty, of course.
There's nothing left
for us here, is there?
The grand adventure of life awaits.
(WHISTLING)
♪ Adventuring I go, adventuring I go, ♪
♪ Hup-ho, hup-ho, adventuring I go ♪
♪ So far from Mimico ♪
♪ Hup-ho, into poverty I go... ♪
True love did win out in the end.
You're right.
In fact, I believe love
is still in the air.
- Oh...
- (JULIA GIGGLING)
(MAN): Goodbye!
(RUTH): Bye-bye!