Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 9, Episode 9 - A Christmas Secret - full transcript

(ALL SINGING) 'Tis the season
to be jolly Fa la la la la, la la la la

They certainly are
an attractive couple.

Sure they are. They've got
their health and they're under 30.

Do you know what my
problem is, Mrs. Fletcher?

Married or unmarried,
makes no difference to her.

Someone ought to tell
Wanda that nobody's

gonna pay for something
that she gives away.

You promise you'll always
love me no matter what?

Charlie, of course I will.

I can't believe that
Charlie intends to marry you

and then continue an
affair with another woman!



You're gonna be in for
one hell of a surprise.

Merry Christmas!

(CHURCH BELL DINGING)

WOMAN 1: Hi.

WOMAN 2: Merry Christmas.

ALAN: Ladies and gentlemen, friends,
neighbors, family, Merry Christmas!

WOMAN 3: Merry Christmas.

ALAN: Thank you for joining Mary and me
in welcoming a newcomer to Cabot Cove.

I give you Charles Davenport
McCumber, late of the U.S. Army.

MAN: All right, Charlie!

Who in June of next year will be
taking the hand of our treasured,

wonderful daughter,
Elizabeth, in marriage.

WOMAN: Oh!

MAN: Here! Here!



Well, they certainly
are an attractive couple.

Well, sure they are. They've got
their health and they're under 30.

This time next year, he'll be
working for me and Irv Lazarus,

so you can take all your tax and
accounting problems directly to Charlie,

because Irv and I are gonna be trying to
take a couple strokes off our golf game.

(ALL LAUGHING)

I don't think that's gonna sit too
well with the son of a certain partner.

Bert Lazarus, Irving's son.

Well, isn't he the office
manager for the company?

Well, yes. But that's not the
same as being a vice-president,

and that is what Alan has
promised his future son-in-law.

Charlie got himself
an M.B.A. in the Army.

Oh, as I recall, poor Bert
flunked math in high school.

Yeah.

ALAN: And last but not least,

because that's her peach flambé
dessert you've all been moaning over,

Amy Wainwright.

ALL: Oh!

And... And we've got Floyd
Bigelow of Benning Hardware to thank

for giving Amy enough time
off to get the job done. Floyd?

Floyd was here a minute ago.
Anyway, that's it. Eat and drink up!

(WANDA MOANING)

We don't wanna
have any leftovers.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Come on, Floyd. Aren't
they lookin' for you? Huh?

Don't you have to
go back out there?

Hi, Bert.

You could've knocked, Bert.

Ah-ha!

(ALL EXCLAIM)

ELIZABETH: Oh,
Charlie, it's beautiful.

How come nobody ever
gave me anything like that?

Now, Wanda baby, do you really think
that you deserve something like that?

You think you've got the world
by the short hairs, don't ya, Floyd?

I do. Isn't that right, Bert?

Right, Floyd.

You know, all I have to say,

(CHUCKLES) you're gonna
be in for one hell of a surprise.

Someone ought to tell
Wanda that nobody's

gonna buy her something
that she gives away.

BERT: How do you figure an
Army guy can afford a ring like that?

FLOYD: Ah, don't
let it eat you up, Bert.

She had my ring once.

Oh, for God's sake, that
was your high school ring.

She got the grades to
go to Berkeley, you didn't.

And I gotta stand by
while a damn stranger

becomes a partner
in my old man's firm.

(JESSICA AND ELIZABETH LAUGHING)

You know, I remember
when you were a little girl...

Oh!

You always talked about
marrying a man in uniform.

I know. Well, I got my signals crossed.
He was supposed to be a fireman!

(LAUGHS) You did!

Mrs. Fletcher, do you believe that
someone can fall in love overnight?

Well, I certainly fell hard once.
But not overnight, mind you.

With Charlie, it
was just so sudden,

like he was so afraid
of losing something.

No. That something
was you, Beth.

I understand that he was
with the Army in the Gulf War?

Yes.

Well, then he may have
seen death and suffering

and that can have an
emotional effect on a man.

Beth told me that you
didn't have any folks, Charlie.

Right. My sister and I
grew up in foster homes.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, as
soon as those grandchildren start arriving,

they've always got a home
here with Mary and me.

Maybe it's selfish, but we figure
they won't go running off to California.

Excuse me, Mr. Forsythe,
Mrs. Forsythe,

I haven't met Mr. McCumber yet.

I'm Mort Metzger, Sheriff around
here. Welcome to Cabot Cove.

Nice to meet you,
Mort, and it's Charlie.

Well, thanks.

Listen, I heard you were captain of
your Army pistol team, is that right?

ALAN: Beth sent us that Army newspaper
with a picture of you and your team.

Mort's captain of ours.

Well, you know, next
Saturday's team practice.

We'll have a weapon for you
and you'd sure be real welcome.

Well, it just so happens I
brought my weapon with me.

It's at the hotel.
You bet I'll be there.

Oh, that's great.

Hey, listen, you wouldn't
happen to be a tenor, would you?

Ah, I'm a fair shot,
but no way a singer.

Except maybe in the shower.

Ah, it's a pity. See ya then.

Mort's also the leader of
the Cabot Cove Carolers.

You'll get a chance to hear him
tomorrow night at the Christmas shindig.

I heard my parents.

They're already
talking about grandkids!

Oh, look, I have something
important I have to talk to you about.

It looks like the only way you and I are
ever gonna be able to spend some time alone

is if you come to my hotel room.

Ooh! Wow! Do I have
to make an appointment?

JESSICA: Thank you, Mary.

(JESSICA INHALING)

Smell that, Seth?

Nope.

Smell what, Mrs. Fletcher?

Well, the air isn't cold
and wet. It's dry and crispy.

And there's a
wind from the north.

What Jessica's trying to say is
that we're in for a white Christmas.

Mmm-hmm.

Wishful thinking, Jessica.

Besides, snow leads to traffic
accidents and frozen extremities.

So, how do you
like the car, Charlie?

Oh, it's great.

It's just a loaner, but I'm
thinking about buying one.

Oh, you'll get a better deal in
Portland. That's where I got mine.

Listen to him. Floyd's
a killer of a dealmaker.

See you tomorrow,
Charlie. Floyd.

Tomorrow, Mrs. Fletcher.

Is something wrong, Seth?

Hmm. I don't think so.
What gives you that idea?

Well, you've been going out of your way to
deny even a smidgeon of Christmas spirit.

I guess it has
come over that way.

Fact is, these last few days, I've been
reminded of when I was ten years old.

Oh? What happened
when you were ten?

Oh! You'd think it was silly.

Try me.

Well, that was the Christmas
I decided to sneak down

and explore under the
tree the way kids'll do.

I was dead sure my pop had
saved up to buy me a train set.

Oh, remember the
tingle of anticipation?

All those mysterious
colorful packages?

Well, later that morning,
when I opened them up,

it wasn't a train set. No, it
was underwear and socks.

Jess, I don't think
you can understand

how incredibly disappointing
that is for a ten-year-old.

Oh! I think I do.

This year, with the
world in the shape it's in,

Christmas is a hollow promise.

We should not be
looking for toys anymore.

It was lovely. Thanks so much.

Congratulations, Beth.

I gotta go on a buying
trip to Portland tomorrow.

Should be back by about 11:00. So, I'll
get the best deal I can for you. All right?

I appreciate that. Thanks.

Here, I'll get it.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

WOMAN ON TAPE: Hello
there, this is a friend of yours.

I know the game you're playing.

Unless you want me
to blow the whistle,

be at Sally's Landing
at 10:00, tonight.

ELIZABETH: Charlie?

Bye. See you tomorrow
night. Merry Christmas.

Willie Nelson. I love him! I
didn't know you liked Willy...

Charlie, what's the matter?

Sorry!

Hasn't been
enough of that lately.

You promise you'll always
love me no matter what?

Charlie, of course I will.

You have that worried
sound in your voice again.

Pick you up for dinner at 6:30.

I'll be waiting.

WOMAN ON TAPE: Hello
there, this is a friend of yours.

I know the game you're playing.

Unless you want me
to blow the whistle,

be at Sally's Landing
at 10:00, tonight.

You and me have to come to
a little business arrangement.

This way you have time to
think about what it's worth.

Bye.

Hi, Amy.

AMY: Merry
Christmas, Mr. Nelson.

Merry Christmas.

(PHONE RINGING)

Thank you.

Mrs. Fletcher. I'm just
on my way out to Portland,

but Amy'll help you
with whatever you need.

Oh, thank you. Just the
roll of paper, please, Amy.

And, I'm gonna see you tomorrow
night at the Community Center?

Certainly will.
Have a good trip.

I'll have that January inventory
breakdown for you when you get back...

(DOOR SHUTS)

You sure you have
to leave so soon?

It's just tonight, I'm bushed.

I'm decorating at the
Community Center in the morning.

I'll be at the hotel prepping
for the State CPA Exams.

Pick me up at 6:00?

You bet.

You were right about the star.

Do you have the time, Jessica?

Yeah. It's about 9:45.

Oh, the party's
tonight, but I gotta go.

I gotta hold the fort down till
Floyd comes back from Portland.

Oh, well, you run along, then.

Amy, leaving so early?

(CLEARS THROAT)

I'm assigned to balloons.

When I find them, what am
I supposed to do with them?

They're in the ladies'
lockers, Wanda.

Strangely enough we're doing
what we usually do with balloons.

We're blowing them up.

Oh, there's also a helium tank in
there just in case you may need it.

(EXHALES)

Wanda came from upstate.

She got a job with the City and
immediately started playing the field.

Married or unmarried,
makes no difference to her.

Amy works in the hardware store,
doesn't she? For Floyd Bigelow?

That's right. And she has been
carrying a torch for him forever.

(CHUCKLES)

But as far as Floyd is
concerned, she doesn't exist.

Fact is, Floyd has
no respect for women.

Oh, dear, and the poor girl has to work
in the same office with him every day.

And wonder what he's
doing with his nights.

Jessica, with Wanda
roaming around,

do you think that I should
be worrying about Charlie?

Seems like his mind has
been someplace else lately.

Why don't you nab him,
ask him out to lunch?

Now? Yes, right now.

I mean, get some of these doubts
of yours out in the open, face to face!

Well, he's over at the hotel
working on his CPA Exam.

You know, maybe I will. Around
noon, if we're finished here.

We will be!

(WHIRRING)

Here you go, Linda.

Thanks.

(PHONE RINGING)

Benning Hardware.

It's for you, Floyd.

Who is it?

Some lady. I didn't ask.

I'll take it in the back.

We made it, Beth. Off you go.

Thank you, Jessica.

Okay.

Oh, Jess, I need four
more red balloons.

Oh, I'll get 'em for you.

Thanks.

Absolutely, yes. Beautiful.

Ah!

Mary needs four red balloons.

Okay. I'll tell you what, I'll trade
you four red balloons for my lunch.

I think I left it up front, it's in
a white plastic grocery bag.

Oh, don't I see it in there?

(CHUCKLES) I have personal
business matters in there.

I shouldn't have
left it open. Sorry.

Uh, those are green balloons.

Whoops. Right. Um...

Do you know what my
problem is, Mrs. Fletcher?

Yes. Possibly achropsia?

You're color blind, Wanda?

Right.

Right. No problem. These'll do.

Surprise!

Charlie?

WOMAN ON TAPE: Hello
there, this is a friend of yours.

I know the game you're playing.

Unless you want me
to blow the whistle,

be at Sally's Landing
at 10:00, tonight.

You and me have to come to
a little business arrangement.

This way you have time to
think about what it's worth.

Bye.

(WHIMPERING)

Charlie. I am so sorry.

Beth said to tell you
that she is just not up to it.

Did she say what was wrong?

Who knows? Must've been
something she had for lunch.

She was right as rain when she left
the Community Center this morning.

She left?

12:30.

Well, I thought she
went looking for you.

Are you sure Beth's okay?

Oh, I'm sure she'll be
fine tomorrow, don't worry.

Charlie, it'll disappoint so many
people if you're not there tonight.

Look, you can deliver
Beth's contribution

to the Fire Department's toy
fund for underprivileged kids.

MARY: Now, come
on. ALAN: Come on.

CHARLIE: Of course I'll come.

(ALL SINGING)

Deck the halls
with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

'Tis the season to be
jolly Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don we now our gay
apparel Fa la la, la la la, la la la

Troll the ancient
Yule tide carol

Fa la la la la, la la la la

See the blazing Yule before
us Fa la la la la, la la la la

Strike the harp and
join the chorus...

It'd be nice if it were
a proper Christmas

and they had some real
snow on those boughs of holly!

Oh, Seth, try to forget about
the underwear and socks.

(GRUNTS)

Look, we may not have
snow on the ground,

but look at all those
beautifully wrapped gifts,

for those children
who really need them.

And there's a whole
bunch of toys there, too!

Sing we joyous, all together
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Heedless of the wind or weather

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Hey!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
very much. Thank you. Thank you.

(SAMBA MUSIC ENDING)

Jess, I haven't danced
the samba in years!

Oh, that was the samba? I
thought I was doing the rumba?

Oh, no. No. If it'd been the rumba, I
wouldn't have been doing the box step,

I would've been doing the cross and it
wouldn't have had all those nice dips.

(CHUCKLES) Is that
what those were, "dips."

I've got to sit down.

Hey, Mrs. Fletcher,
Doc, Charlie.

Oh, Sheriff, you've
done such a wonderful job

with the Carolers
since last Christmas.

Thank you. And the
nice thing about it is

that the Fire Department's toy
drive doubled what it did last year!

That's wonderful!

Where's missus?

MORT: Same as every year.

Taking baskets for the poor
down to that church in Grove Creek.

She'll be by later, though, if
it's not too late. Excuse me.

That reminds me, I'd better
get into my Santa Claus suit.

What's that about?

Oh, that's the raffle.

You see, Seth matches the
number on your dinner ticket,

and if you're lucky
you might win a prize.

SETH: She's on the raffle committee,
but it's just more foolishness.

Last year, I won a pair of
sequined bedroom slippers.

Weren't even my color.

Hello.

Yes... (GASPS) Whoa!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

You're really
wonderful, Charlie.

Thank you. You're
a great dancer, too.

Thank you.

MAN ON MIC: This is your last
chance to buy extra raffle tickets

while the band
takes a short break.

Santa Claus will
be arriving soon.

Excuse me.

You know what, I'd like to give
Beth a call and see how she's feeling.

Is there a phone around here?

Yeah. There's one in the office,
another one out by the lockers.

Oh! Thanks.

Mrs. Fletcher. Would you like
some eggnog or some punch?

Oh, no, thanks, Floyd. Listen,
you're on the raffle committee.

Aren't we supposed to be
organizing things for Seth about now?

Sure are! Perhaps we should
rustle up some of the committee.

Yeah.

Um, where's Mattie Lazarus?

I saw Mary here a minute ago.

I better go get them!

Okay.

(GUNSHOT)

Wanda!

Seth, what the
hell was that shot?

It's Wanda. She's been shot.

She's still alive,
fellas, so, easy.

Very easy!

(SIGHS)

Don't ask me why or how,
but her heart's still beating.

Oh, what are her chances, Seth?

(SIGHS) Next to none,
I'm afraid. I'll go with her.

Sheriff, somebody dumped
these in the bushes out back.

Handy disguise,
wouldn't you say, Mrs. F?

Must've been worn
by whoever it was

Charlie McCumber saw just
before he discovered Wanda.

Sheriff, Wanda's locker was wide
open and empty when we all came in.

Does that suggest
anything to you?

What are you thinking, that
something was stolen from it?

Well, I'm thinking
that Wanda was very

protective about
something in it this morning.

Whatever it was,
it isn't there now.

Providing a possible motive.

Some kind of shame, isn't it?

You mean it being Christmas.

Yeah. It's almost as though
Doc stacked the deck against us.

You've noticed
that about Seth, too?

Kinda hard not to notice.

I'll have Andy drive
you home, Mrs. F.

Thanks, Sheriff. Andy.

ALAN: This city being as
small as it is, government's run

on a part-time basis by businessmen
like myself and Floyd here.

Wanda just kind of kept the
whole thing glued together.

Yeah. The mayor said that Wanda was
the best executive assistant he ever had.

Ran the city like a well
organized household.

Did you just get here?

No, I've been in the kitchen.

Then you know what
happened. How you feeling?

What... What's the matter?

I went to your hotel at noon.

I listened to the tape.

I saw you at the
Lighthouse Motel.

God! Look. Beth, I
can explain everything.

I've been wanting
to so badly, but I...

BERT: Sheriff.

Look what I found.

Sure smells like it's
been fired recently to me.

Where'd you find it, Bert?

BERT: Out in the bushes,
back of the lockers.

This is Army issue.

Charlie, what you
said to me yesterday

about having one
of these at your hotel.

That's mine, Sheriff!

MORT: Any idea how
it got to where it got?

Hell, no! Somebody must've
stolen it from my hotel room.

Charlie, you don't plan on leaving
Cabot Cove in the next few days, do you?

What the hell are you
insinuating, Metzger?

That's okay, Alan.

Sheriff, I'm not going anywhere.

Not until all this is
cleared up, anyway.

I'll see you tomorrow, Beth.

SETH: Wanda
Andrews is still alive.

She struck me as rather
ornery young woman.

All gristle and not much heart.

Maybe it was the
gristle saved her life.

What do you mean by that?

Well, the bullet struck
the occipital lobe,

a glancing blow, that was
deflected in some fluky fashion,

centimeters from where
it could've done real harm.

Dr. Nielson relieved
the resulting hematoma.

I take it she showed more
heart than you thought.

(DOOR BELL RINGING)

Oh, excuse me.

Beth, hello.

Mrs. Fletcher, I'm sorry it's so
early, but I just had to talk to you!

The Sheriff has arrested Charlie
for Wanda Andrews' murder!

Oh, it's not murder
yet, young lady.

Not with the victim
still alive and kicking!

Thank God!

Yeah, come in.

ELIZABETH: They flew Charlie's gun up
to forensic experts in Portland last night

and found out that it was the same
weapon that was fired at Wanda.

This morning, they
went to his room.

They found this blackmail
tape that was left in his car,

threatening a
disclosure of some kind.

They recognized Wanda's voice.

JESSICA: But Beth, there's
something very odd about that!

I mean, how could Wanda know
enough about Charlie to blackmail him?

All I know is, he went
to Sally's Landing

on Monday night to
meet her, Mrs. Fletcher.

He told me that he went
there to reason with her.

But he couldn't even summon
the courage to face her!

Now hold it, Beth. If
he couldn't face her,

where in the world did he
find the courage to shoot her?

I'm wondering what it is that Wanda had
on Charlie, or what she thought she had?

(CLEARS THROAT) Oh, I'm gonna grab some
shuteye, then get back to County Hospital.

Ladies.

Maybe it has something to
do with this ring, Mrs. Fletcher.

It seems so expensive, I can't imagine
where he got the money to buy it.

I told you how
secretive he's been.

I've found out
that there's this girl.

She's very pretty.

She's been staying at
the Lighthouse Motel.

And Charlie's been seeing her!

Now Beth, I can't believe that
Charlie intends to marry you

and then continue an
affair with another woman!

WANDA ON TAPE: Be at
Sally's Landing at 10:00, tonight.

You and me have to come to
a little business arrangement.

This way you have time to
think about what it's worth.

Bye.

(SIGHS) I hate to say it, Mrs. F, but it
sure seems to give Charlie a motive.

It'd help if we knew
what his secret is.

Sheriff, as far as you
know, was Wanda Andrews

out of Cabot Cove for any
length of time last year?

Like where?

Well, like California?

Oh, no way. She was too busy.

You weren't here when the Mayor
and a bunch from the City Council

and their spouses took a
hankering to go to Tokyo.

Tokyo? No, I certainly wasn't!

All in the interest
of trade relations.

We were gonna build a chain
of Cabot Burgers on the Ginza.

Well, Floyd Bigelow went, too,

and while he was gone, Wanda
kept up the city books for him.

And when he came back, Floyd
complained that the books didn't balance.

He griped for weeks
about the cost of that trip.

Hey, Sheriff. Mrs. Fletcher.

I brought you the
light bulbs you ordered.

Hey, Floyd, I was just
telling Mrs. Fletcher

about the problems you
had on that Tokyo junket.

Oh, the junket
wasn't the problem.

It's when I got back from Tokyo,

there was something screwy
with the city pension account.

The books said one thing,

but the banks and S&L quarterlies
that I got said something else.

I mean, $400,000 something else.

Are you saying that Wanda Andrews
was involved in the discrepancies?

Yes, I think so.

I mean, there was some
co-mingling between

the pension account
and the short-term CDs.

And then once these short-term CDs
matured, halfway through the summer,

I think that Wanda
recorded them as rollovers,

when in fact, she forged the
signature and cashed them out.

Well, unless she recovers and tells
someone what she did with the money,

the pension fund is
gonna be out $400,000!

That means a lot of
pensioners are gonna find

nothing but a hole in
their Christmas stockings.

SETH: I am blasted, if that isn't
the meanest thing a person can do.

Depriving retired folk
of their independence!

Another good reason to
keep Wanda alive, Seth.

I mean, she is the only person
that can help us to locate the money!

Oh, yeah.

The question in my mind is, what was
it that provoked the attack on her life?

I mean, was it her
own blackmail scheme

or was it her knowledge
of the embezzlement?

Hmm. Well that is two
different kettle of fish.

And who was she blackmailing?

I mean, the tape that I
heard in the Sheriff's office

could've been directed
at almost anyone.

(SIGHS) At the same time, there was
something downright personal about it.

Then if the intended
victim was somebody else,

Wanda might've become impatient
and contacted them directly.

He or she retaliated
by trying to kill Wanda.

Jess, I hate to bring this up,

but if Charlie's gun was stolen,

you have to consider who had
access to Charlie's room at the hotel.

I know, Beth.

Like anybody else from here,
she could have recognized

Wanda's voice on the tape,
tried to kill her to protect Charlie.

Sorry. I just don't
believe that of Beth.

You just don't, or
you'd rather not?

Well, I'd better be gettin' back to
the hospital. Thanks for the coffee.

Mmm-hmm.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Yes? Hello.

My name is Jessica Fletcher. I'd like
to ask you about Charlie McCumber.

Come on in.

Thank you.

I heard the news on the radio.

And they say Charlie
tried to kill some woman.

This is... It's all a
crazy nightmare!

Look. I'd like to help if I can.

Now, first of all,
if I may ask you,

what is Charlie McCumber to you?

I'm Monica, his sister.

Well, for heaven sakes,
Monica. All is not lost.

Well, what do you mean?

Well, first of all, I'm gonna
make you a cup of tea.

And then you'll be able
to pull yourself together

and then you're gonna tell me
what all this odd business is about!

(BABY COOING)

(JESSICA LAUGHS)

Is that your little
girl, Monica?

No. This is Belinda.

Charlie's little girl.

MONICA: Back in California,
before he met Beth Forsythe,

Charlie was going with a
girl named Belinda Nordstrom.

JESSICA: Ah, little
Belinda's mother, I take it?

She and Charlie were
planning to get married,

but Charlie's outfit was suddenly
called to the Persian Gulf.

And while he was away,
Belinda died in childbirth.

And you took charge of the baby.

Charlie was mentally
and emotionally destroyed.

Until he met Beth Forsythe.

And then his whole life
just seemed to turn around.

They fell in love.

But, he didn't tell
her about the baby.

Well, why ever not?

It's difficult to explain.

First, he was afraid of Beth's
reaction to Belinda's illegitimacy.

He didn't want Beth to go out
of his life the way Belinda had.

You see, we lost our parents

when we were young.

Charlie's whole life has been
about losing people he loves.

And that's why he
postponed telling Beth.

I know it seems ridiculous.

But, when Charlie
came to Cabot Cove,

he faced the prospect of
telling Beth's parents, too.

Hmm.

I know the Forsythes
and they're good people.

But, I can see how in Charlie's
eyes, they're the very ones

who are depending on
him for their grandchildren.

Not somebody else's
illegitimate child.

I mean, they've guaranteed him a
new start, a place in the community!

I find it very hard to
believe that Wanda Andrews,

knowing Charlie's secret, would attempt
to blackmail him on something so harmless.

Of course. The colors.
Why didn't I think of it before!

It was all an accident!

What colors?

Well, in this case,
the red and the green.

Thank you, Belinda!

May I use your phone?

Oh, please. But,
what... I don't...

And I'll need a phone book.

(WHIRRING)

Unless you need anything
else, I'll be going now.

Oh! Yeah, you go ahead, Amy.

Oh, and tomorrow's Christmas
Eve, so we'll be closing around noon.

And when you go, you
mind turning out the lights?

Merry Christmas, Floyd.

Merry Christmas to you too, Amy.

(PHONE RINGING)

JESSICA ON PHONE: Floyd?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Fletcher.
What can I do for you?

JESSICA: Floyd,
I may have a lead

on those missing pension
funds that you were talking about.

FLOYD: You don't say.

I was wondering if
you could meet me

at the Community
Center at about 7:00?

Well, can't this wait
till after the holidays?

Well, it really can't.

It'll only take a few
minutes of your time.

7:00. Well, that's an hour.

I guess I can meet you. Where
exactly would you like to meet?

In the ladies' locker
room. And Floyd,

please bring a key to
Wanda Andrews' locker.

Look, how in the hell would I have a key
to Wanda Andrews' locker, Mrs. Fletcher?

JESSICA: Well, you cut keys for
the Community Center, don't you?

Like you do for all the
hotels and motels in town?

Yes, I suppose you're right.

I mean, in which case
you must keep masters.

Yes, I do. It's gonna take a
little time, though, but I can do it.

Oh, and Floyd, it might be a
good idea if you brought Amy.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Amy just left, Mrs. Fletcher.

Oh, I'll be there, though.

Thank you.

AMY: It's not in there, Floyd.

(GASPS)

I took everything out
yesterday for safekeeping.

Amy, why are you all dolled up?

What the hell are
you doing here?

Well, that's a pretty funny
question coming from you!

It is the ladies' locker room.

(CHUCKLES)

You know, I always knew Wanda
had something valuable in there.

But, I never knew
what it was until she

called yesterday and
tried to blackmail you.

(WHISPERING) What
do you know about that?

I listened.

When you were in Tokyo and she found
out how you'd robbed those pension accounts

and put the money in those
three bank accounts in Portland,

I always knew about that,
Floyd. But I never told anyone.

Oh, God.

You... You killed Wanda?

I always thought Charlie...

You thought it was Charlie
McCumber and poor dead Wanda

would take the blame
for the money you stole!

Well, yesterday, I
wrote her a note from you

and I told her to meet you
here during the party last night.

So, I'm still in the clear?

I mean, no one
knows the difference!

Well, except me, Floyd.

Well, I'll share the
money with you, Amy...

No, it's not about
the money, Floyd.

It's what you give
to everybody else.

Forget this. Can't this wait?
They'll be here pretty soon.

Just make me think that what I
did was worthwhile, please, Floyd?

Amy! I can't have you hanging
around my neck for the rest of my life!

Don't you understand that?

Police! Freeze!
Right there! Now!

Amy Wainwright, I'm arresting
you for attempted murder.

Attempted murder? I
thought Wanda was dead.

MORT: Lucky for
Amy, she's alive.

Doc Hazlitt and some
high-price surgeon

are over at County General
trying to keep her that way!

Floyd.

I'm arresting you for being
an accessory after the fact

and for embezzlement
of city funds.

And under present circumstances,
assault with a deadly weapon.

Why did you have to
get involved with this?

Wanda deserved anything she got.

Because it was Wanda's mistake
that brought Charlie McCumber into it,

and at that point I
had to be involved.

What do you mean, mistake?

When Floyd was away last summer,

Wanda discovered his embezzlement
and decided to blackmail him.

Evidently, she didn't want to
confront him directly at first.

So, she chose a rather bizarre,
nonetheless effective, way to set him up.

She left a blackmail tape in
what she thought was his car.

Wanda is color blind and unable
to distinguish green from red.

Except for color, Floyd's car
is identical to Charlie's loaner.

So she put the tape in
Charlie's car by mistake.

When no one showed up at
Sally's Landing on Monday night,

Wanda decided to
call Floyd directly.

Only that was the night
that he was in Portland,

so she had to wait until
yesterday to call him,

when he was at the store

and you were there to listen in.

At the Forsythes' party
you heard Charlie say

he had his service
weapon at the hotel.

Getting a key was simple,
since Benning Hardware

supplied most of our
local places with keys.

So you got Charlie's gun
and a Santa Claus outfit

and waited for Wanda right
here in the ladies' locker room.

I couldn't let her hurt you.

I didn't know what it was
gonna be like to shoot somebody.

She came in and I shot once.

I was so scared, I didn't even
wait to see if she were dead or alive.

I just cleared out
the locker and I left.

I was always there for
you and you never noticed.

The only thing I ever wanted was
to have you pay attention to me.

I didn't want to get Charlie
McCumber in trouble.

I just wanted to save Floyd.

So tell me, Mrs. F, what was
Charlie McCumber's secret?

Well, that's not for me to say.

But, I don't think it'll be
a secret much longer.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, I had to be
crazy to doubt Beth and her folks.

Well, Beth knows that you
were afraid of losing her.

And that's what counts for her.

And if you had any doubts
about her being an instant mother,

how about a couple of
instant grandparents?

(CHARLIE LAUGHS)

Thank you, Mrs. Fletcher.
It's a Christmas I'll never forget.

Nice young man.

Oh, Seth. I'd given
you up for lost!

Oh, I was at the hospital checking on
Wanda Andrews. She's gonna be all right.

Oh, thank goodness.
That's great.

Just a little something.

Oh, well, I've got
yours here, too.

Here. Oh!

Well, let's see.

Ah!

A train!

I deserve that!

The little train that could.

(SIGHS)

Tonight, when Wanda pulled
through and I was part of it,

Jess, suddenly
everything seemed brighter.

Then Frank was
right when he said that

Christmas should remind us
of what could be, not what is.

Yeah.

I hate to admit it, but I guess I
was still looking under the tree.

(CAROLERS SINGING) We wish you a Merry
Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry
Christmas and a happy New Year

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry
Christmas and a happy New Year

Good tidings to you
wherever you are

Good tidings for Christmas
and a happy New Year

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry
Christmas and a happy New Year

Good tidings to you
wherever you are

Good tidings for Christmas
and a happy New Year

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry
Christmas and a happy...

New Year MORT: Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Jess.

Merry Christmas, Seth.