Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 9, Episode 14 - Killer Radio - full transcript

What makes you turn to
writing about the act of murder?

And I'm talking
vicious. In bloody detail.

Everything from
strangling to stabbing...

That lady hits harder than a
linebacker on a Sunday afternoon.

(GLASS BREAKING)

You loudmouth creep.

I give the word, Rule spends
the rest of this campaign

with his jaw wired shut.

There must be a lot of pressure on
you and the D.A. to hang somebody.

Now, shut up and listen, Louise.

You can tell David
Osterman from me



(GUN COCKING) that
this is j just the beginning.

Presenting the new powerhouse
in the state, KGAB Radio.

(PEOPLE CLAPPING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

RULE: Yes, ladies and
gentlemen, gophers and livestock,

it's 65 degrees here in
bustling downtown Easton,

where the prairie skies are as
empty as our listeners' heads.

You're tuned to KGAB
Radio, and this is the Rule Man,

the voice of what we politely
refer to as "the people."

Speaking of which,
Doris on line one.

What's on your minimal
mind today, dear?

DORIS: Marcus, I just want
you to know you're the rudest,

most irritating man on the
radio. Oh, thank you, Doris.

Well, I'm sure
that little effort



fevered your
already-sweaty brow.

And now the Rule Man, the man with
the scam, the sham and the flimflam,

brings you, yes, it's
the rumor of the day.

Rumor A,

Highway Commissioner,
slash wannabe state senator,

David Osterman, takes
clandestine midnight meeting

with well-known fat cat
contractor over at Jimmy's Landing.

Rumor B, something
changes hands.

Hint. Well, that
something is long, green,

and covered with
pictures of Ben Franklin,

lots and lots of pictures,

and they all end up in
David Osterman's pockets.

News item, this morning, Mr. Fat
Cat Contractor wins the contract

to build the new bridge up at
Indian Bluff, awarded to him by...

All right, class, are you ready?

Yes, the ever-lovable
Commish, David the...

(PHONE RINGING)

Dave, he's killing us.

You've already dropped
eight points in the polls.

What do you think is going
to happen when they go online

with their new
transmitter tomorrow?

Listen, I have friends.

I give the word, Rule spends
the rest of this campaign

with his jaw wired shut.

No. I won't stoop to that.

He's just a mouthpiece
for the station.

Dave, we're gonna
lose this thing!

Let me have someone
pay a visit to Colin Crowe.

Alex, I can't. I just can't.

Well, I think you'll find KGAB
Radio to be the highlight

(LAUGHING) of your
Midwestern tour, Mrs. Fletcher.

My goodness, that was spoken

like a true public relations
professional, Ronna.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, boy. Well,
anyway, Colin, Mr. Crowe,

is a very exciting
man to work for.

I understand that Mr. Crowe's
wife actually owns the station.

They're getting a divorce.

He's buying her out as
part of the settlement.

Oh, I see.

When he married
her, there wasn't

a whole lot happening
with the station.

But he came in,
and he took charge,

and he put in a talk format,

and today we are
number one in the county.

And when we inaugurate
our new transmitter tomorrow,

we will be going for the
top spot in the whole state.

My goodness, your boss certainly
seems to know what he's doing.

Oh, well, look at Marcus
Rule. The Rule Man.

Mr. Crowe discovered
him up in Minnesota,

doing ice hockey
games, of all things.

He brought him down here,

and he turned him into
the local king of killer radio.

ELDERLY MAN ON
RADIO: Ask my wife.

RULE: No, no, no. I won't.

Do you know what just
happened, you old hay kicker?

No, sir.

You've been overruled!

You're too dumb to know it.

You know, anybody who's a
fan of Mavis is no friend of mine.

As far as I'm concerned, she
can take that Tennessee banjo

and stick it where
the sun don't shine.

Young man...

RULE: Okay, Veronica
from Owl Creek,

let's talk about husbands

and the F-A words.

That's right, people. I'm
talking about "fooling around."

You know, a new study shows that
62% of all married men have affairs.

So what I want to
know now, Veronica, is

where is your husband right now?

VERONICA: Let's talk
about David Osterman.

He is the most decent,
fair-minded man...

You hear that, people?

Mr. David Osterman's
so far down the pipe,

he's got his loyal employees
trying to pull him out...

Making money off that lunatic's
offensive trash is one thing,

but character assassination
is quite another.

We both know you don't have
a thing on David Osterman.

Except that he happens
to be on what you consider

the wrong political
side of the fence.

Can I assume this
is your final statement

as majority
stockholder, darling?

You can assume I
won't let you destroy him.

Spoken like a truly about-to-be
ex-wife and ex-partner.

Now, shut up and listen, Louise.

Now, you can tell
David Osterman from me

that this is just the beginning.

And unless he withdraws from
this race, I'm going to see to it

that he can't show his
face anywhere in this state.

Colin, don't bet your
FCC license on it.

HOWARD: and I'm proud to say
she's the only woman I ever slept with.

RULE: Oh, sure, Howard.

You want me to
swallow that bull?

You just didn't get caught,
and more power to you.

Of the 38% of men who
say they didn't have affairs,

37% were lying. You okay?

If you'd ever cared about
anyone... I've been better.

You'd know that
what you're saying...

You sure there's
nothing I can do for you?

Thank you, Danny.

Okay, class,

(BELL RINGING) the subject for
tomorrow is gonna be... Ready?

Cheating hearts.
You heard right,

and you'll hear it here,
too, tomorrow, firsthand,

when we talk to five guys

who caught their old
ladies in other men's beds.

Well, till then, remember you
can count on the old Rule Man

to bring sunshine and knowledge
into your otherwise drab,

miserable lives.

Boy, I tell you, old
what's-his-name was right,

nobody ever got
poor underestimating

the intelligence of
the American public.

What's for tomorrow?

Well, you got J.B. Fletcher,

live in-studio,
open mike at 3:00.

She's that mystery writer.

On tour, promoting
her latest book.

(EXCLAIMS)

In this jerkwater town?
She must be desperate.

Okay, tell Ronna to have a
synopsis on my desk by noon.

This ought to be fun.

Writers intimidate easier
than almost anybody.

(SNICKERS)

WOMAN: Top of the stairs
to the right, Mrs. Fletcher.

Thank you. Uh-huh.

At 5:00 we have
the cocktail party

and the dedication
of the new transmitter.

Thank you.

My goodness, the Mark Twain
Room. That sounds lovely.

If you're free tonight, I would
love to show you around Easton.

Well, thank you, Ronna,

but I do have an
engagement for dinner.

You got that right, lady.

Jonathan. Is it really you?

It is me. How are you?

Hi, Jessica. Hi, Ronna.

My goodness, you have come
a long way from Park Avenue.

Well, you just
keep reminding me,

because sometimes I don't
think I've come far enough.

I didn't know you
two knew each other.

Oh, yes. Jonathan's father
is my publisher's lawyer,

as well as being
a very good friend.

Can I have 10 minutes?

Okay, but don't make
it a second longer.

We got a lot to talk about.

Right. Thanks for
everything, Ronna. Okay.

And I'll see you tomorrow.

Ronna, can we spend
some time together...

Oh!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

And that is when it hit me, right in the
middle of this achingly tedious lecture

about some foreign
trade regulations.

And you walked away.

I flipped.

Or as my father
would say, (SIGHS)

(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
"Jonathan simply was not himself."

(BOTH LAUGHING)

That sounds exactly
like Carter. Yes.

Well, anyway, that night
I left, and I hit the road,

and I bummed around
the country for two years.

I worked in an oil
field, I pulled carrots,

I even fought a
forest fire in Oregon.

After I gave you
Kerouac's On The Road.

Your father still has
never forgiven me.

(LAUGHS) Well, I'll
tell you something.

I got to see this country the
way he will never get to see it.

And I got to meet people

that the so-called opinion
makers and politicians in New York

and Los Angeles and Washington

will never know that
these people exist.

Why Easton? I mean, what
made you decide to stay here?

I fell in love. With the town.

And I got a job as
custodian at KGAB,

and then I took this
correspondence course

in engineering, got my degree,

and if that transmitter gets
blown over by a norther,

I'm the one they're gonna blame.

How much of this
does your father know?

Not much.

I haven't talked to
him in over a year.

And I know that he'll
never forgive me,

but, God, I just...

Law school and
three-piece suits,

it's just not my style.

Now, tell me something, Jessica.

Did Easton just happen
to be on your book tour?

No, I didn't think so.

Well, I gotta say, my Dad
has got a hell of a friend in you.

Is he still living
out of a suitcase?

At the moment.

He's somewhere in
the Russian steppes,

trying to negotiate a contract
with the next Solzhenitsyn.

When I told him that I was
planning a Midwest tour,

he felt that Easton was
the perfect stopover for me.

You tell him I'm okay.

I will.

Where I am now is, I just...

I want to have a
job that I can enjoy.

And maybe someday, I'll get
married and have a family of my own.

Well, you have the career.

How about the rest of it?

(STAMMERING) Well, there is

someone, and she will be again.

Well, if you're half as
stubborn as your father,

I believe you'll
get what you want.

Oh, I'm twice as
stubborn as my father.

And I plan to get what I want.

You know, Chicago's
been talking to me, Crowe.

See, they'd like to groom me
to be the next Howard Stern.

What, do you think I don't
know that? Forget Chicago.

You and I have a contract.

Worth maybe the
paper it's printed on.

I'll tell you what, Crowe.

You tear up the
contract, triple my salary,

then I'll tell my
feet to keep still.

Oh, and don't tell me
about your lawyers,

'cause they're not gonna be
able to do diddly for you, pal.

Not when they find out how you've
been feeding me phony rumors

to destroy David Osterman.

Oh, and I have tapes of
our phone conversations,

and a little scrapbook of
your memos, you know?

Just the kind of stuff that's required
listening and reading at the FCC.

(LAUGHING)

Okay, Marcus, let's get real.

Hey, man, what do you
think I've been saying?

These locals, your loyal fans,

now, they may have
a limitless capacity

for that shock-jock
crap of yours,

but I know these people,

and I guarantee you that
when they learn about your past

as a two-bit sportscaster with
a penchant for 14-year-old girls,

you're gonna find
yourself so far over the line

that nobody will let you within
five miles of a microphone.

DR. ANNIE: Cindy. Cindy.

Hi, Elizabeth. Could you
take our coats, please?

This is your husband's
fourth marriage... Thank you.

And you're surprised
he cheated on you?

Now, when you
started seeing him,

was he still married to his
third wife? CINDY: Yes, but...

Your Dr. Annie doesn't
pull any punches, does she?

(CHUCKLES) Well, half
the fun is trying to figure out

who the callers are.

Most of them try to
disguise their voices. Oh!

Pardon me. Mrs. Fletcher? Yes.

Danny Cochran's the name.

Oh. How do you do.

Do you remember The
Triple Crown Murders?

Oh, yes. That was
my fourth book.

Well, you really nailed down

(LAUGHS) the whole
racetrack scene on that.

Well, that's very kind of you,

but actually I had
some very good advice.

Yeah, anyway, you
had this clue in there

about a quick-acting toxin.

Of course. That was
Butylthalicilate, I think.

Well, it changed my life. For
about 45 minutes, anyway.

There was a nag
named Sudden Poison

going off at 65 to one in
the fourth race at Hialeah.

And you won?

Five hundred bucks,
right on the nose.

Five hundred times...

Danny, that's a
great deal of money.

So I put the whole bundle
down on this sure thing.

She's still running.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It was a hell of a rush.

Oh, when you're in
there with the Rule Man,

if that weasel gives you
any static this afternoon,

you just give me the
sign, and he's off the air.

(CHATTER ON RADIO)

Mrs. Fletcher, your
visit has made our day

even more special here at KGAB.

Well, thank you, Mr. Crowe.

Your dedication
speech, Mr. Crowe.

I thought we could spend
a few minutes going over it

after you're finished here.

Oh, I don't have time. I
was just leaving to check out

the transmitter site
in a couple of minutes.

Okay. Um...

I'll see you after your
interview, Mrs. Fletcher.

Fine.

Shall we?

Very nice meeting
you, Mrs. Fletcher.

Thank you.

(RADIO JINGLE PLAYING)

"Love makes fools of the
very young and the very old."

That's a line from
one of your books.

(CHUCKLES) Sergeant
Grady. The Corpse of Vespers.

As I recall, the wife murdered
her beautiful young rival

and very nearly
got away with it.

Aha! But she did get caught.

Her jealousy gave her away.

Oh, well, that wouldn't be
a problem for me, Jessica.

I've long since
stopped giving a damn

what Colin does
with his private life.

Look, I feel I owe
you an apology

for subjecting you to our
resident mouth, Mr. Rule.

Oh, that's not
necessary, Louise.

I came here voluntarily,
for better or worse.

(CHUCKLING) Well,
I hope it's for better.

Listen, I understand
your flight to Los Angeles

doesn't leave until
the day after tomorrow.

Can I talk you into
coming out to lunch

at the farm before
you leave Easton?

Ooh, I'd like that very much.

How about tomorrow
at 1:00? That'd be fine.

You're on in two minutes,
Mrs. Fletcher. Oh, thanks. Bye.

Hello.

Well, hello. I, uh...

I just wanted to wish you luck.

Come here.

(GIGGLING)

(CROWE LAUGHING)

You're so bad. Oh, thank you.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

RULE: Well, well, J.B. Fletcher.

Well, it is a real pleasure to
have you as our guest today.

Well, it's a great pleasure
for me, too, Mr. Rule.

I've heard a great
deal about you.

Oh, yeah, right, charming,
gracious, intelligent.

(LAUGHING)

Well, do you think
you can manage to

stay on the same page
with me for an hour, anyway?

Well, I'll do my best.

Good. Let's make some good
radio, you and me. Mmm-hmm.

DANNY: Four, three, two...

(SIGHS) So, J.B. Fletcher, why don't
you tell me why women like yourself,

when your husbands all die

and you suddenly haven't got
anybody you can make crazy,

what makes you turn to
writing about the act of murder?

And I'm talking vicious. In
great, lurid, bloody detail.

Everything from strangling to
stabbing to dismemberment.

Because I'll tell you
what my take on it is.

I figure we're looking
at some long-repressed,

really heavy urge to commit the
one biggest no-no in our society,

aside from cannibalism
or smoking pot.

So, come on. Speak up, Jessica.

RULE: Well, the hour's
almost up, Jessica.

The Rule Man
still wants to know.

The vicarious thrill, as you
call it, Mr. Rule, isn't mine.

Ideally, it's the reader's,

and it's derived from a
hopefully well-told murder mystery

that challenges one to
figure out "who done it"

before the fictional
detective can find the answer.

(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.

All right, well maybe
you can tell me why

mayhem mongers like yourself

get such a thrill out of
killing off men in your books.

Oh, Mr. Rule, that's a bit of an
overstatement, to put it kindly.

Yeah, well, I'm sure it is. Come
on, Jessica, what are we talking?

We're talking failed
relationships here, you know.

Maybe some deep-seated
problems with our fathers.

Ah, Mr. Rule, that is such a...

You can't deny that women,

lacking the right stuff to
pull that trigger themselves,

live out their murderous
fantasies through men.

Mr. Rule, if that is
your understanding

of "mayhem mongers"
and women in general,

I must say, please excuse the
obvious metaphor, you are dead wrong.

What really astonishes
me, however,

is that of the many guests
who must have put up

with the same tacky, pretentious,
intellectually impoverished,

pop psychobabble

(LAUGHING) that I have
endured in the past hour,

not one of them has had
enough of the right stuff

to do you in long ago.

Boy, that lady hits harder than a
linebacker on a Sunday afternoon.

Well, you've got
spirit, Jessica.

I like that in a woman.

Well, thank you,
Mr. Rule. I do my best.

And to show that
there's no hard feelings,

although you did mention that you
don't find it necessary to read books,

there's one that I'm
going to send you anyway.

Yeah, well, thanks,
but I educate myself

through electronic
media osmosis.

Ah, extraordinary.

But, surely you've
heard of Dostoyevsky?

Hey, who hasn't?

Well, he wrote about a man

who reminds me a
great deal of yourself.

A man who sees clearly through
the hypocrisy of his society.

Really?

Well, maybe I'll have to
touch base with his publisher.

Get him to swing by
on his next book tour.

JESSICA: Oh, that would
be quite a coup, Mr. Rule.

You see, he happens to have
been dead for over 100 years.

So, we won't do it live.

Anyway, what's the
name of the book?

It's called The Idiot.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

All right, folks, it's time to
listen to some of the people

who pay for all
this illumination.

That was a cheap
shot, Mrs. Fletcher.

Well, sorry you feel
that way, Mr. Rule.

I thought we made some
rather good radio together,

you and me.

(LAUGHING)

Float like a butterfly, sting like a
sidewinder missile, huh, Mrs. Fletcher?

(LAUGHING) Jessica, you
gave me such a satisfying memory

of my last day
here at the station.

Mrs. Fletcher, it would be a
pleasure to drive you to your inn.

Well, that's very kind of you.

I could do with a bit of a rest.

Thank you, Danny.

I'll see you at the
dedication ceremony. Yes.

I want you to see
my winners' circle.

That's my wall of fame.

Every winner that I ever
had is circled in red up there.

Mrs. Fletcher,

since I'm going out to
Vinewood Park this afternoon,

I was wondering if you'd bring
me some luck by using that

handicapping system of yours,

uh, to pick a winner.

Remember? The
Triple Crown Murders?

But aren't you going
to the dedication?

What? And
celebrate an additional

20,000 watts of
Marcus Rule? Please.

Oh! Mrs. Fletcher.

Well, I mean,

I would probably bet against
Secretariat, but however...

Here goes for the Fletcher
Handicapping System.

(LAUGHS)

Ta-da!

Savoy Stomp going off
in the ninth at 20-to-one?

It's golden, Mrs.
Fletcher! I can feel it!

You know, what's
happening at KGAB stinks.

You've gotta understand,

Louise Crowe is
a very special lady.

She cares about people.

(SCOFFS) Colin Crowe?

If it weren't for the ratings,

the man wouldn't have a pulse.

And yet, he does
seem to have made

a great success of the station.

I understand there were
some pretty lean years.

Yeah. But without Mrs. Crowe,

things just aren't
going to be the same.

I gotta tell you
something, Mrs. Fletcher.

When you lowered the boom
on that Rule Man back there...

(CLICKS TONGUE)

It was a double whammy,

'cause you drove one right
through Colin Crowe, too.

Here you go, Mrs. Fletcher.

Mr. Baker said it was urgent.

I see. May I use your phone?

Sure. Thank you.

Yes, Jonathan Baker, please.

Well, did he leave a
forwarding number?

Not even his home number?

I see. Well, thank
you very much.

Hmm.

Francine, make my life richer
and more bountiful. Speak.

FRANCINE: Marcus, are you
saying the Highway Commissioner

purposely diverted the road

around Rock Ridge so
he could line his pockets...

Hey, does that connecting road

up near Three Forks
ring a bell, Francine?

Come on!

'Cause I guarantee, once
my story breaks tomorrow,

it's gonna be ringing
David Osterman's.

But enough truth in politics,

because now it's time
for our daily lobotomy.

That's right, that
bastion of the free press,

the daring tell it
like it is... (YAWNS)

Network News.

(PHONE RINGING)

Mr. Shannon.
SHANNON: Hello, Marcus.

Hi. Yeah, I was
just going to call you.

Listen, I've made up
my mind, and it's a go.

Wonderful. I'll be in
Chicago on the 11th.

Will you have any problem
getting out of your contract?

Contract problem? No. I
don't want any legal hassles.

No, no, no. Wait.

No, hey. Hey, don't
worry about it, man.

Listen. Crowe can't do a thing.

Oops, excuse me.

Jonathan.

Jessica.

Where's Ronna? I thought
she was driving you over.

Well, that was the plan,
but maybe she forgot.

In which case,
I could use a lift.

Oh, sure. She's probably
over at the transmitter.

Uh-huh.

I'm afraid this is as
formal as I get these days.

Well, it looks fine to me.

Listen, I tried to
return your call.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking
for Ronna. She left a message.

Something's wrong. Sounds
like her world's falling apart.

Well, what's the
matter? I don't know.

She just kind of
trailed off and hung up.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(EXHALES)

Jessica, I'm sorry. I've got
to go try and find Ronna.

Jonathan.

Jessica, there you are.

Jessica, welcome to
KGAB's new beginning.

(LAUGHS) Yes. And my retirement

from what we laughingly
refer to around here as

the communications business. Ah.

Mrs. Crowe, where's
your husband?

Anything you have
to say to Colin,

Mr. Osterman, you can say to me.

At least for the moment.

Well, have him understand
that when the voters elect me,

which they will, despite
his efforts to slander me,

my first act as state
senator will be to demand

an FCC investigation
of your station,

at which point you can kiss
your broadcast license goodbye.

I'm afraid, Mr. Osterman, very
soon it won't be mine to lose.

But I'll relay your
sentiments to Colin.

(GLASS BREAKING)

You loudmouth creep.

Hey, whoa. What
is it, Davey, huh?

You come all the way down
here to tell us it just ain't so?

Come on, man, do it.

I'll have you in the courts
for the next 10 years.

I think you better
leave. Please.

Well, this is just wonderful.
No Colin, no Ronna,

the transmitter is about
to go online in 10 minutes.

(EXHALES)

Now I understand why
he insisted I show up.

Excuse me.

The only thing that I
can imagine tackier

than Louise and Colin
is Ronna and Colin.

Two weeks, Mrs. F.,
and I'm out of here.

Chicago. A 200-station
guarantee, for starters.

So, next time you want to
hustle one of your books,

don't call me.

(LAUGHING)

LOUISE: A new era begins,

as we welcome more
than two million households

into our new KGAB radio family.

(YAWNING)

(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

I won't keep you
waiting any longer.

Ladies and gentlemen,

presenting the new
powerhouse in the state,

25,000-watt KGAB Radio!

(FANFARE PLAYING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(EXHALING)

The preliminary report from
the medical examiner indicates

two entry wounds to the
heart about an inch apart.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I got five bullet
strikes on the girders,

two hits, five misses.

Apparently our shooter's
no Annie Oakley.

Have you found Ronna yet?

No.

WATERMAN: Shell casings
indicate a high-powered rifle,

but none of the guests at the
reception report hearing the shots.

It suggests that
the victim was killed

sometime after the county
inspectors left at 1:45,

but before the caterers got
here at 2:20 this afternoon.

Mrs. Fletcher, I'm Sheriff
Waterman. Oh, Sheriff.

I hear Marcus Rule is
still trying to figure out

where that left hook
of yours came from.

Oh, the interview.

He did seem to lead
with his chin, didn't he?

Not to spoil your visit,

but I hear you're pretty
good at this sort of thing.

You have any ideas?

I'm afraid not. Do you?

Lots of them. Guys
with union cards

who didn't appreciate Crowe's
attacks on David Osterman,

farmers who were upset with
his stand on subsidies last winter.

I got a whole
county full of motives.

Our search team found
this in a service road ditch,

up in the hills next
to the transmitter.

(GUN COCKING)

You bought it nine months ago.

Dexter's Sporting
Goods over in Clearwater.

They just faxed us
the sales receipts.

And we're working on the
prints and ballistics now.

I got people over at the
radio station, told me about...

About you and Ronna Simmons

and about her and Colin Crowe.

And I've got County
Attorney Cusak on my butt,

'cause, you know,
he loves a sure thing,

and he's figuring that
it'll take the grand jury

maybe, what, five minutes
to indict you for Murder One?

Johnny boy,

if you're not gonna
open your mouth,

then I'd suggest that you better
get yourself a heck of a lawyer.

(CHATTER ON RADIO)

JESSICA: Your father has
arranged for his personal attorney

to fly in from New York.

Look, Jonathan, I don't
believe for one moment

that you had anything
to do with this.

But unless you open up...

It doesn't matter.

Who knew that
you kept your rifle

behind the seat of your truck?

Everyone knew. I showed it
around when I first bought it.

And that phone call from Ronna.

Was there any more
to it than you told me?

Look, that phone call
had nothing to do with it.

Now, Jessica, I know
what you are trying to do.

But I'm willing to let this
thing just ride its course,

so why don't you?

Jonathan, I promised your father

I'd do everything
I could to help.

And whether you like it or not,

that's exactly
what I intend to do.

Thank you for
letting me talk to him.

Sheriff Waterman, I've known
Jonathan for most of his life,

and I cannot imagine
that he would kill anyone.

Well, people do unexpected
things under pressure,

in desperation.

Well, he was
clever enough to use

a Slim Jim to break
into his own truck.

But you yourself said you
have a county of motives.

But he is the only smoking gun.

He had the time,
he had the means.

Ballistics check out.
The prints check out.

Sheriff, of course his prints
were all over his own gun.

Whoever killed Colin Crowe
made sure that they stayed there.

Were there any other prints?

Yes, as a matter
of fact, there were.

Forensics is still
trying to identify them.

You know, if I were
in Baker's shoes,

I'd want you on my side, too.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, by the way,

Mrs. Crowe called to remind
you about a date for lunch.

Oh, really?

With everything that's happened,
I'd assume that she'd cancel.

Mmm.

Hanson,

drive Mrs. Fletcher
out to the Crowe farm

and wait for her.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Sheriff.
That's very kind of you.

Well...

(ROOSTER CROWING)

My father made his
money in the stock market.

After my mother died,
he bought this place.

Even made it turn a profit.

He was incredibly competitive.

He taught me to
win at everything.

Well, you were
a very good pupil.

Oh, these are just
local competitions.

My father gave me the radio
station as a wedding present.

He wrote on the gift card,

"Now I don't have to be alone
in suffering your opinions."

(EXCLAIMS) I did a political
commentary once a week.

I let the whole county
know what was on my mind.

Your father must
have been quite a man.

His death shattered me.

My marriage fell
apart. I even stopped

shooting my
mouth off on the air.

I just settled in, and played
lots of country ballads.

Well, that's a far cry
from Marcus Rule.

At least, that was
Danny's complaint.

I began to detest what
Colin had done to the station.

It was my lawyers who drew up
the agreement to let him buy me out.

Which was also my way of
ending the marriage gracefully.

Louise, I don't mean
to sound insensitive,

but I imagine that
your husband's death

results in a very
complicated legal triangle.

No, not really.

He hadn't gotten around
to changing his will.

The station is still mine.

Which, I suppose,
makes me a suspect.

I suppose it could.

Come, Jessica.

Isn't the cliché always a younger
woman and a jealous wife?

Thank you, Alice.

The jealous wife

seldom allows herself to
appear as composed as you are.

(EXCLAIMS)

Playing the part of the dutiful
widow is not exactly my style.

Louise, I can't help thinking,
given what's happened,

that you had more of a purpose

in inviting me
out here for lunch

than simply telling me all this.

Look, what it comes
down to is this.

If you're looking for a way to get your
young friend, Jonathan Baker, off the hook,

I don't think you or the Sheriff

have to look any further
than Ronna Simmons.

What makes you
think it was Ronna?

When they find her, ask
her when she discovered

she wasn't the only
other woman in Colin's life.

WATERMAN: No, no, no, Mr. Cusak.

I'm not suggesting,
I'm telling you.

Don't take this
to the grand jury

until I complete
my investigation.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I'll get
right back to you.

It just came in from forensics.

Had to go back three
years to the university to ID

the second set of prints
on the murder weapon.

(EXHALES)

Put out an APB, all right?

Yeah, get me Cusak back, huh?

And David Osterman?

Colin's investors wanted
Osterman defeated,

so my husband put a
private investigator on his tail.

He didn't find a trace
of political wrongdoing,

but he still had Marcus to
say whatever was necessary

to keep his money people happy.

So, Mr. Osterman was right
about your station slandering him.

Yes.

And ironically, those
same surveillance reports

which my husband ordered

also provided
Mr. Osterman with an alibi.

Oh? What was that?

At the time of the murder,

David Osterman was in
bed with a wealthy widow.

Well, that could prove disastrous
for his political ambitions.

It could if it got out.

This morning, I turned
those surveillance reports

over to Mr. Osterman.

He's free to do whatever
he wants with them.

Louise,

I don't like being used.

I don't know what you mean.

The wealthy widow
that he was in bed with,

that was you, wasn't it?

Yes, but I... And you
were counting on me

being terribly intuitive,

so that I could serve as a
character witness for both of you,

without revealing any of
the details to the Sheriff.

Jessica, I didn't kill Colin,
and neither did David.

I certainly hope you didn't.

We found her holed up in
a motel out on Highway 61.

Well, Miss Simmons.

You've got a lot of
explaining to do, young lady.

RONNA: I didn't even know that
Colin was dead until they arrested me.

(SNIFFLING) Jonathan, I just...

I wanted to talk to you,
and I wanted to see you,

and I started to leave
you that message, but...

What, Ronna? But what?

I didn't think it would
make a difference.

I wanted to tell you

that it was over
between Colin and me.

And I wanted to tell you what a
stupid, misguided idiot I've been

in thinking that I was anything

more than just a
prop for his ego.

(SNIFFLING)

And I wanted to ask you
if you could forgive me.

I don't think I can
deal with that right now.

I understand. That's why I
didn't finish the message.

All right.

The desk clerk at the
motel told the Sheriff

that you checked in at 6:30.

That was two hours
after the murder.

(STAMMERING) I
was driving around.

I don't know where
I went or how long.

Ronna, someone
must have seen you.

They have your gun
with my fingerprints on it.

But I told the Sheriff that I
was teaching you how to shoot.

But they think that I did it.

I didn't kill him.

I couldn't have.

Come on. I took
her shooting twice.

She couldn't hit the
broad side of a barn.

Neither could the
killer, apparently.

Oh, this is 'cause Colin
Crowe was such a big shot

in this town, right?

There must be a lot of pressure on
you and the D.A. to hang somebody.

You know, you should
take some advice.

Start looking out
for your own self.

Well, thanks, Sheriff. I
don't need your advice.

I'll wait for you outside.

Well, Mrs. Fletcher,
now, there's a young man

who's in a heck of
a wrestling match

with what he knows
to be the facts,

and what he wants to believe.

Well, it's only
natural, Sheriff.

He cares a great deal for Ronna.

That's not what I'm saying.

You mean, Jonathan knows
something that he's not telling us?

No, I mean he was seen all over town
looking for her at the time of the murder.

Doesn't appear he
found her, does it?

Cheer up, Jonathan.

Your father's lawyer
will be here later tonight.

Well, I don't know what
good he'll do, Jessica.

(SIGHING)

Look, this is a very small town.

There can't be that many roads

that lead to the motel
where they found her.

Somebody must have seen her.

Do you have a map?

Yeah, somewhere. Under the seat.

Well, maybe you're right.
Maybe somebody did see her.

Wait, just a minute.

Is this your pen, Jonathan?

No. Here's the map.

I don't think we're
going to need the map.

I'm going to go talk to the
Sheriff and make a phone call.

Jonathan, I think I know
who the murderer is.

And if we're lucky, we
may be able to prove it.

Louise, please
don't do that just yet.

Danny told you I
was coming, I take it.

Yes, that is what I
thought I saw yesterday.

Jessica... DANNY: Oh, hi.

(LAUGHS) I'm sorry I'm late,

but I am not the most
orderly guy in the world.

This darn thing was hidden under

a pile of junk in
my living room.

(LAUGHS) Oh, I
brought you a present.

Oh!

I put 20 bucks down
on Savoy Stomp.

Well, maybe I should take up
handicapping as a profession.

(LAUGHING)

So, that guy in New York doesn't
believe you picked Savoy Stomp, huh?

Well, I thought that a
photograph of the two of us,

with you circling the horse's
name could help to convince him.

Hey, no problem, no problem.

It isn't every day
that I hit 20-to-one.

(SIGHING)

Here we go. Now...

Looking for this, Danny?

Oh, yeah. I've been
looking for that all day. Huh.

Well, so where do we stand?

I don't think that I'll
need the picture, after all.

But... Danny, I don't
think Mrs. Fletcher

really came here
for a photograph.

All right, you want to let me
in on the gag, Mrs. Fletcher?

Well, Louise is right.

I'm here because I
believe that I can reveal

the identity of her
husband's killer.

You see, it bothered me from
the beginning all those shots fired,

and all of them misses,

except for the two perfect
deadly shots to the heart.

But Sheriff Waterman
said they were lucky shots.

Well, maybe, Louise.

But when I saw your
marksmanship trophies,

it occurred to me that
possibly every shot

fired by the killer that afternoon
was, in fact, right on target,

(GUN COCKING)

I mean, the first two
shots were dead on,

killing Mr. Crowe instantly.

And the next five shots were, well,
they were wild, exactly as intended.

To make us think that we were
dealing with a very poor marksman.

Oh, you're not saying that
Louise had anything to do with this?

Mrs. Crowe wasn't the
only one with the skill

to make the shooting appear
to be the work of a novice.

If I'm not mistaken,

these are Army
sharpshooting medals

that you're
wearing, aren't they?

Yeah, sure. Hey,
come on, wait a minute.

I was at the track. Where do
you think I got the program?

What, that particular program?

In a trash bin at Vinewood
Park less than an hour ago.

Less than an hour ago,
I was in my living room.

After Mrs. Fletcher called
you to bring in the program,

I followed you to the track.

Okay, so I lost the
one at the track.

Jessica, I just handed you
400 bucks in winnings, didn't I?

Not a lot of money
to keep an alibi alive.

Jessica, none of this means
that Danny killed Colin.

That's not true, Louise.
You also suspected Danny,

and wanted to protect him
by removing the photograph.

LOUISE: But still,
there's no proof.

Well, there is now.

Danny, when you broke into
Jonathan's truck to steal his rifle,

your pen fell out
of your pocket.

I found it under the seat,

proving that you had
been inside his truck.

Danny, why?

You know, the day after
I graduated high school,

I took out a map,

closed my eyes, and
stabbed at it with my finger,

just like your handicapping
system, Jessica.

Only I picked Easton.

I got a job here.

I met Louise.

All the time I was in the Army,

she was all I ever
thought about.

I came back from 'Nam,

Louise's marriage
was on the rocks,

and we had some times together.

You were all I ever wanted,

but there was
always someone else.

I figured some day I
would be the only one left,

and that we could work
the station together.

I knew that once Colin
took over the station,

I'd never see you again.

Oh, Danny.

WATERMAN: Come on, Danny.

We're all set, Jessica.

Have you spoken to your father?

Yeah, I want him to meet Ronna.

So we're gonna fly
to London tomorrow.

Oh, how wonderful.
Best of luck to both of you.

Thank you.

For everything.

(CHATTER ON RADIO)

Well, we better get
me to the airport.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

RULE: So remember,
get smart, get Ruled.

So, Jessica, you did real well.

Sure, you solved
the murder, sure.

But nothing beats that
warm-all-over feeling you get

from nailing another man, right?

I understand that
Chicago fell through.

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Hey, no problem, lady.
I got a home right here.

Because you know something?

The beauty of this
one-horse state,

is that no matter how
much I insult these retards,

no matter what I say,

they're gonna keep
coming back for more,

because they are the stupidest,

most muddle-headed
doofuses this side of the zoo.

LOUISE: Marcus.

I hope you really intended
for that to be broadcast

over 25,000 watts.

Now I understand why
it's called "Killer Radio."