Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 7, Episode 6 - A Body to Die For - full transcript

You're breaking my arm!

I told you not to pick a
fight. Didn't I tell you that?

First time I saw that Bennett, I
knew he was nothing but trouble.

Wayne? Yeah?

I'd like to book you
for a private session.

FEMALE NARRATOR:
Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

A man was found shot
to death in Eve's bedroom.

Come on, Wayne, don't force
me to call your local sheriff.

Freddie, of course, he's more my age. He's
witty and intellectually, we're simpatico.

Well, then what's Wayne?

Wayne's all hormones.



Freeze!

Don't shoot.

FEMALE INSTRUCTOR: And
3-2-3-4 and right 2-3-4... Very good.

And left. With the arms.
Keep it going, feel the burn.

Keep it up. Keep those
legs up. There you go.

WAYNE: That's
good. Now keep it up.

FEMALE INSTRUCTOR: Work
those thighs. Yes. Feel that burn. Good.

Keep breathing. Amy,
you're not breathing.

You look good, Eve. You
feel it in your neck, though?

There, too, Wayne.

Left down, Nancy, left down.

Wayne? Yeah?

I'd like to book you
for a private session.

After class I'll check my
calendar. Looking good.



Step with your toes,
Betty. Back, good girl.

Lil, look at you. Wow!

Didn't I see you in the Sports
illustrated Swimsuit Issue?

Keep it up, next year
you'll be on the cover.

What a gorgeous body.
That is you, Cher, isn't it?

You sweet talking devil, you.

How Sonny ever left
you, I'll never understand.

Neither do I,
honey, neither do I.

Okay, ladies, time's up,
time's up. Terrific morning.

You are doing wonderfully!

What a slave driver!

You love it.

Don't we all?

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, Eve, I'm ready for an
orange juice. How about you?

Oh, no, can't,
Renee. I gotta run.

I got a prospective buyer coming up from
Boston to look at the old Sullivan farm.

Are you still stuck
with that eyesore?

Believe it, at night not even the
Sullivan's cows want to come home.

The tension's all up here, Eve.

It's from all those hours you
spend on the phone at the office.

You get yourself a speaker
phone and while you're on it...

I know. I know.

I order your $800 custom-designed
exercycle and ride while I work.

You see, the
product sells itself.

Eve, no matter what the
cost, I want a perfect body.

Whose? Yours or his?

This ad of yours in the Boston
Globe certainly piqued my curiosity.

I hope I'm not too late.

Late? Oh, no, Mr. Keppard,

but, well, to be quite truthful,

there's quite a bit of interest
in the old Sullivan farm,

what with so many city people
hearing the call of mother nature.

I heard the call, all right.

And it's Fred.
Freddie to my friends.

Well, Fred. Freddie, about
this $600,000 price tag...

Look, if it lives up to it's description,
$600,000 seems definitely fair.

Right. Fair, absolutely.

Do you plan to
keep it a dairy farm?

Yes, I do, but I don't
plan to do the milking.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Well, of course not.

Well, it's about a
40 minute drive, so...

So let's go. The
sooner the better.

I want those cows to give
milk, not cottage cheese.

My daughter is off in college, my
wife passed away two years ago.

Oh.

I don't think rattling around in that big
old house in Boston is doing me much good.

Besides, I've got to do
something with my money.

Real estate has always been a
rock bottom investment for me.

Absolument.

Oh, my. Yours?

Since you know the way and
I don't, it's yours for now, Eve.

Oh, it is Eve, isn't it?

Oh, yes. Eve is fine.

Evie to my friends.

You know, Jessica, since I started
the Wayne Workout three months ago,

I've never felt better.

(CHUCKLES) One of these days I'm
gonna have to meet this miracle man.

You know, the ladies at the beauty
parlor can hardly talk about anything else.

(BEN COUGHING)

Could we pull over
for a moment or two?

Oh, you can't be tired already?

Well, not me.

I hope you don't mind if we have a little
pit stop, Ben. But my legs are giving out.

Well, I was just getting warmed
up, but anything to oblige a lady.

Nancy was just telling me that

Wayne Bennett seems to be
revolutionizing Cabot Cove's health habits.

Well, the female half anyway.

Yes, we've noticed that his gym hasn't
caught on with the chauvinist population.

Give me a brisk walk or a
bike ride in the country any time.

You know, Ben, if you're embarrassed
about exercising with a bunch of women,

Wayne does give private
workouts in the home.

Not with me, he doesn't.

So, Nancy, what does your
husband think about the new you?

(SIGHS) You know Clarence. After 20
years he finally got used to the old me.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Wasn't that Eve Simpson? I
wonder where she got that new car?

Never mind the car. What
about the guy sitting next to her?

Well, if I know Eve,
we'll hear all about it.

So when Mr. Keppard said he
was interested in settling down,

I took him right out to
the old Sullivan place.

He's a man of impeccable taste,
he knows just what he wants.

I've got his deposit
check in my pocket.

Eve, that's wonderful.

Freddie definitely is.

Oh, business and pleasure.

You've got to meet him, Jessica.
We're talking charm, we're talking single,

we're talking gentleman
farmer with a capital G.

Well, we're not talking, but
you're gushing like a schoolgirl.

Who, moi?

WOMAN: Thank you.

Thank you.

Good morning, Jessica, Eve.

Good morning, Clarence. Morning.

Have that back for
you late tomorrow.

Thank you. Morning, Nancy.

Jessica. There you are.

WOMAN: Hi, Wayne,
see you in class tomorrow.

Wayne.

Wayne, you've got to
meet Jessica Fletcher.

I've seen you around town,
Mrs. Fletcher. It's a pleasure.

Well, it's very
nice to meet you.

Well, actually, we're
not exactly strangers.

You were in my
bedroom just last night.

Was 1?

I've got one of your books on
tape. I listen to it on my exercycle.

(ALL LAUGHING)

By the time your killer confessed,
I'd pedaled halfway to Portland.

Oh, Jessica, why don't you try a
session down at Wayne's with me?

He's got a stress reduction program
designed for working women like us.

Well, thank you, Eve, but I take
out my stress on my rose bushes.

Oh, by the by, Wayne, do you
happen to have an hour tonight?

I really need a private.

Well, I could do
you around 9:00.

9:00 at my place it is.

Excuse me, ladies.

Kind of takes your breath away.

Eve, a few moments ago, your
breath was taken away by Mr. Keppard.

Oh, yes, well, Freddie, of
course, he's more my age.

He's witty and
intellectually, we're simpatico.

Well, then what's Wayne?

Wayne's all hormones.

Hello, Wayne.

Hi.

We've got some imported
aftershave on special.

Nancy, want to open
that case of dental floss?

Can I help you, Mr. Bennett?

Well, you sure can, Mr. La Rue.

I'd like you folks to carry my
new line of health cocktails.

I'll supply the display stand
and the first case is free.

Look, Joe, it's Wayne Bennett.

Oh, "It's Wayne Bennett!"

Jeez, Lil, he ain't Elvis
come back from the grave.

Clarence, those juices
are just wonderful.

I drink three a day and I
have more energy than ever.

Then how come the house
is always a mess, huh?

I mean, for his workouts you got
energy, for me you got a dead battery.

'Cause I happen to work
nights, Joe, or maybe you forgot.

Any time you wanna hire a
housekeeper, be my guest.

Folks, would you mind?

Yeah, you're a real
charmer, Bennett.

Yesterday you soaked my wife for
a $99 custom-made showerhead,

guaranteed to spray
her with vitality. I'm sorry.

I'm the only one who's gonna
spray my wife with vitality.

Look, I don't want any trouble.

Yeah, good.

Why don't you just take your little dog
and pony show out of town. Out of state.

Joe! Joe, stop it!

(GRUNTING)

Stop that!

Joe, just cut that out!

(SHOUTING)

Stop it! Stop it!

You're breaking my arm!

I told you not to pick a
fight. Didn't I tell you that?

First time I saw that Bennett, I
knew he was nothing but trouble.

Well, that's just wonderful.

Oh, what is it, Eve?

Oh, I have to go to
Rockport this evening.

One of my escrows
is about to fall through.

Oh, tonight of all nights.

I had to cancel my
massage with Wayne.

He was very disappointed.

Oh, I imagine he was.

Eve?

Freddie!

Say hello to my
friend Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, I'm charmed, Mrs. Fletcher.

I've heard so much about you

and I'm delighted to
meet Eve's closest friend.

Well, I've heard raves
about you, too, Mr. Keppard.

Please, it's Freddie.

Freddie.

Eve, I stopped by your office. I'd
like to talk to you as soon as possible.

Well, how about now? We're
finished, aren't we, Jessica?

Oh, yes, yes. Of course.

I've got a pile of work
waiting for me at home.

Well, it was so nice
meeting you, Freddie.

And I you, Mrs. Fletcher.
JESSICA: Thank you.

Oh, I'll take care of the lunch
check, Jessica. Oh, thank you, Eve.

Bye.

Eve, I...

I don't know quite
how to say this,

but have you cashed that
$10,000 deposit check I gave you?

Why, you haven't changed
your mind, have you?

Well, not willingly.

Look, I hate to let you down...

Let me down?

Look, you said that you
wanted to retire. I thought...

Well, let's just say that my
cash flow flowed out, not in.

Freddie, what's going on?

The truth?

I'm not a farmer, Eve.

Fact is, I'm just a man
looking for a quick million.

Oh, really?

Well, a man after my own heart,

in more ways than one.

I have an in with a
congressman down state.

This is very confidential.

A regional shopping center may be
going up alongside the Sullivan farm.

Now the highway commission is
gonna need that acreage as access roads

connecting the
center to the thru-way.

In a year that farm
could be worth millions.

Exactly.

My problem is, I've got all my cash tied
up in an offshore Canadian oil venture.

Wait a minute, Freddie. I
have clients, I have resources.

I have some money.

There's nothing to prevent you
and I from pulling this off together.

No. No, I wouldn't
let you take the risk.

What risk? You said
yourself it was a sure thing.

Tonight I will bring home
some clients' portfolios,

and after I get
back from Rockport,

I'll see who might be
in a position to invest

in our hot investment
opportunity.

(ALL CHATTERING)

FREDDIE: Nice operation, Wayne.

Fred?

Looks like a license
to print money.

What are you doing here?

Heard you struck it rich.

A coach likes to keep
track of his star players.

I kind of like this new game
of yours. Almost smells legit.

It is.

Hey, old buddy, it's me.
It's me you're talking to.

You got yourself in tight with all
the ladies in this town, like always.

Well, that's okay if you're
into nickels and dimes stuff,

but I've got a better way to cash
in. Our old standby. Real estate.

Not interested.

Oh, come on, Wayne, don't
force me to call your local sheriff.

Wouldn't be good for business.

For either of us.

You threatening me?

Kid, what you know I taught you.

And don't you ever forget it.

We'll chat again, kid.

Count on it.

(FREDDIE CHUCKLING)

(CLATTERING)

Freeze! Don't shoot!

Joe?

What the hell are
you doing here?

(MUMBLING)

Mr. Keppard's room, please.

But he's expecting my call. Would
you try the room again, please?

(GASPING)

(EVE GRUNTING)

WOMAN: Hello, ma'am? I'm sorry,
Mr. Keppard doesn't seem to be answering.

(MAN CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO)

You say you got
back around 10:00?

Yes, just about. I don't,
maybe a little after.

Eve, I came as soon as I heard.

Oh, God, Jess, somebody
shot him. Freddie, he's dead.

Eve, I'm so sorry.

Miss Simpson, since you found
your front door was still locked,

you got any idea how
the victim might've got in?

No. I only met him yesterday. I
mean, he didn't have a key, but...

Oh, Sheriff, there was nothing
between us. Nothing like that.

We were business partners and I haven't
the faintest idea what he was doing here.

While I was trying to
reach him at his motel,

I noticed my papers
were all messed up.

Well, whoever shot him was obviously
rummaging looking for something.

Is anything missing?

Well, my jewelry's still here.

Well, then, we're not dealing with
a thief. At least, not a jewel thief.

FLOYD: Sheriff.

Floyd, listen, I want you to check
that all out for fingerprints, all right?

Yeah. And look,

look for footprints
outside in the flower bed.

Al right.

Mrs. Simpson, the way it looks to
me, the killer found the window open,

climbed in,

maybe to rob the place and all of a
sudden he's surprised by your boyfriend.

I told you, he
wasn't my boyfriend.

Eve, assuming that Fred
surprised the intruder,

what was he doing
here in the first place?

And did he also climb
in through the window?

Sheriff, from the amount of
blood and the size of the wounds,

the weapon must've been a shotgun,
fired from say 10, 15 feet away.

Well, that accounts for
some of those folks outside

thinking they heard a
car backfire around 9:15.

Thanks, Charlie. Tell the coroner
I need a report ASAP, okay?

CHARLIE: Okay.

Eve, you're coming to my house
for a few days. Get some things.

Oh, no, I couldn't.
No, I absolutely insist.

Look, the Sheriff is gonna
be sealing off the house

and you may not want to
come back here for a few days.

Thanks, Jessica.

EVE: I just can't figure
out how Fred got in or why.

If it was about business,

he could have simply asked to
see the portfolios I'd brought home.

JESSICA: Yeah.

What about that check
that you mentioned?

The binder on the Sullivan farm.

I mean, would he have
come to retrieve that?

No, no, I'd told him I wouldn't cash
it, even if I wanted to, which I couldn't.

Because he was
temporarily short of funds.

Did he know that you
were in Rockport tonight?

Yes, I'd mentioned it.
Why? What does that prove?

Well, only that he didn't just drop by. He
knew that you weren't going to be there.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Excuse me.

Oh, Sheriff Metzger. Come
in. METZGER: Mrs. Fletcher.

Thank you. Please, have a seat.

Thank you.

Would you like some
coffee? No. Thanks, anyway.

Mrs. Simpson, we found Fred Keppard's car
parked three blocks away from your house.

Now it looks to me like he didn't want
to be seen pulling up to your front door.

Why not?

You tell me.

Fred wouldn't have been up to anything
in my bedroom, at least not without me.

Well, after all, Sheriff,
the man was a widower.

A widower, huh?

That explains why we're having
trouble notifying his next of kin.

He told me he had a
daughter. She goes to college.

Oh, which one, Eve?

Fred didn't exactly say.

What's the daughter's name?

I'm not exactly sure
he told me that either.

He didn't tell anybody much of
anything. Kind of funny, don't you think?

Man pops up out of nowhere,

no family, no friends, no job,
no home address, rented car.

Oh, please, Sheriff, big entrepreneurs
always lease their cars, for tax purposes.

Oh, yeah? Are those entre-whatsit's always
three months behind in their car payments?

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello. Oh, yeah.
Sheriff, it's for you.

METZGER: Thank you.

Metzger.

Oh, he did? No kidding.

Yeah, what was that
again? You sure about that?

Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Listen, let me know if
you hear anything else, will you?

Yeah. Take it easy.

Miss Simpson?

(CHIRPING)

Miss Simpson, this
guy Keppard? Yes?

Did he ever mention to
you any of his other names?

Like, Fred Hallberg, alias

Dr. Fred Hallberg, Frank
Horton and Fritz Hansen?

Guy's got a rap sheet
as long as your arm,

and he served a sentence
in Joliet Prison for bunco.

Bunco?

Fraud. Flim-flam.

The guy was a con
man, Mrs. Simpson.

No. No, he wouldn't
have. He couldn't have.

He wouldn't have what, Eve?

Oh, God, was I
ever a prize chump.

He was searching through my files,
looking for new clients to swindle.

I'm sorry, ma'am, you lost me.

He was trying to get me to
invest in the Sullivan farm.

He said his money was tied up,
but there was information he had

that a shopping center was
going up near the property.

And I offered to help
him find some investors.

I guess he couldn't wait.

Well, that fits.

This flim-flam artist comes
poking around your bedroom

and somebody finds him there.

Sheriff, even assuming that
Mr. Keppard had no shortage of enemies,

how could any of them have known
that he was at Eve's house at 9:00?

Unless...

Eve,

besides Mr. Keppard, did you tell anyone
that you would be out of the house at 9:00?

No one.

Wayne Bennett knew.

You canceled your
private workout.

That's right!

Well, that's two.

If Keppard was still alive,
we could ask him who else.

If Fred was still alive,
I would kill him myself.

Sheriff, just of the top of your head,
how much time you think I could get

for breaking into
that gym anyway?

Now you ask. I knew I shouldn't
have gone to work last night.

You had that look on your face.

Sheriff, who's that guy
who got himself killed?

Out-of-town bunco artist
name of Keppard. Know him?

How should I know him?

I hear he and Eve Simpson
had something going.

I wouldn't know.

Nancy La Rue just happened to mention
she saw him and her driving out of town.

Eve was behind the wheel
of his red Jaguar convertible.

But probably you
already know that.

She mentioned it.

I'll let you know as soon
as your lawyer gets here.

Wait there a minute, Sheriff.

Now last night I was almost run
down by a red Jaguar convertible.

I think you probably ought to
go talk to Mr. Wayne Bennett.

Wayne Bennett, huh? Why is that?

'Cause I saw the dead guy
leaving Wayne's workout, that's why.

Now, come to think of it,
we don't know a whole lot

about this Bennett
now, either, do we?

RECEPTIONIST: A private hour
with Wayne at your home is $75.

Tuesday at 8:00, let me see.

GIRL: Hi, Sheriff,
come to workout?

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

Mr. Bennett, can I
see you a minute?

Why don't you ladies warm
up, I'll be right in, okay?

So this is where my
wife keeps in shape, huh?

Adele is doing splendidly, Sheriff.
She's made a real commitment here.

Yeah, I know. I just paid
her bill from last month.

(LAUGHING)

Well, no pain, no gain.

So, is there something
I can do for you?

Well, I was just driving by,
I thought I'd save you a trip.

This is the complaint against
Joe Hardin. You wanna sign it?

You know, if Joe transferred
some of that temper

into physical exercise,
he'd live a lot longer.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell
him you suggested it.

That the stuff my wife drinks?

You haven't tried it?

On the house. It's got no sugars, no
calories, packed with natural vitamins.

A bottle a day will make
you a new man, Sheriff.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

I'll just save it for
the car, all right?

You have a nice day.

BEN: I am not a nosy,
inquisitive busybody.

I am a newspaperman
hot on the trail of a story

and the cold-blooded murder
of a conman in your bedroom

happens to be
news, Mrs. Simpson.

You are making it seem
as if Mr. Keppard and I

were having an affaire
de coeur, Mr. Devlin.

I think you've been
watching too much Geraldo.

Well, one of us has, yes.

All right, you two,
now that's enough.

Jessica, I have a
paper to get out.

This would be a pretty good
story even in Saint Louis.

Here in Cabot Cove,
it is real big news.

Not necessarily. And besides, everybody
in town already knows what happened.

She may be right, Ben.

You know, the printed page will
never scoop the beauty parlor hotline.

Well, maybe so, but I'll be hanged
if I'm going to turn the Gazette

into a puff piece for Mrs.
Simpson's real estate handouts.

That's it! Consider my advertising
budget withdrawn, Mr. Devlin.

Consider it done, Mrs. Simpson.

But I can see that coming here
was a complete waste of time.

Oh, Ben, wait.

If you will excuse me, I'm
going to get some coffee.

Eve?

Eve Simpson, in whose
bedroom the victim was discovered,

was asked if she knew
him and how she knew him.

Mrs. Simpson's response
was, "No comment."

And you can quote me!

Ben, wait! I need a lift to La
Rue's drugstore before it closes.

Eve, I'll be back
in a few minutes!

Try to come back alone!

Cancel her advertising. That's a hot one.
She hasn't paid her bill in three months.

Well, the town's
pretty quiet lately.

Quiet? They ought to
rename this place Catatonia.

I came back for peace
and quiet, not embalming.

Hello, Nancy, is anybody here?

Oh, hello, Jessica, you
made it just before closing.

Oh, with a minute to spare.

I came to get my film.

Hello there, Mr. Devlin.

I'll sure be glad to close up. Been
a busy day working shorthanded.

Oh? Where's Nancy?

Drove up to Augusta last
night. Family emergency.

Oh, dear.

Yep. Her sister took sick and
Nancy's helping out with the kids.

I'll put this on your charge.

Thank you. Say hello when she
gets back. Good night, Clarence.

Good night.

And, Jessica, I'll tell you
what else I think. Now...

Oh, Ben, we all
know what you think.

It is not just idle
gossip, Betty.

I got it straight from Loretta
down at the beauty parlor.

A man was found shot
to death in Eve's bedroom.

Besides, it made
the morning papers.

I don't read the newspapers.

Now, exactly what the man
was wearing, I wouldn't know.

I know, Renee. The
look was Ivy League.

But the jury is still out on
whether the suit was paid for.

Oh, my, my, my, aren't we testy?

Now listen, Renee...

Okay, girls, let's not turn
this into kick boxing, all right?

Al right.

How are you feeling, Eve?

Not too bad, except
for this crick in my neck.

Oh, you do, eh?

Oh, right there. Oh,
yeah. Oh, that's great.

Where's Nancy La Rue today?

I don't know, and don't stop.

Come on, let's
work out those kinks.

All right, ladies, back to work.
Come on everybody, get moving.

Let's go, come on.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, come on, come
on, pull it up, pull it up.

Form two lines and toe
raises, tuck your tummy.

And on my count
it's one, two, three...

Good, four, five, come on,
six, count with me, seven...

(ALL COUNTING)

Sorry, ladies, class dismissed.

What?

Sheriff, if this is about my complaint to
Joe Hardin, can't it wait until tomorrow?

It isn't, and no, it can't. Wayne
Bennett alias Wayne Freeman,

I'm arresting you for the
murder of Fred Keppard.

Hit the showers, ladies.

You have the right to remain silent. If
you give up the right to remain silent,

anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.

(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)

(RINGING)

Hello.

EVE: Jessica. Oh, thank God!

Sheriff Metzger just arrested
Wayne Bennett for murder!

What?

He pulled him right out of
class. Jessica, this is insane.

Eve, believe me,
Sheriff Metzger would not

arrest Wayne without
some kind of evidence.

Like what?

When I tried to stop
him, Sheriff Metzger said

I was just another one of Wayne's
hysterical love-smitten customers.

He won't even let me visit him.

Oh, please, Jessica, you
have got to do something!

Now, six months ago when
you came into this town,

you probably thought you were
dealing with some hick sheriff.

Wrong, buddy boy.

That little bottle of orange
sunshine you handed me?

Well, I sent that nice set of fingerprints
off to the FBI, just on a hunch.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Fletcher,
I'm kind of busy right now.

That's quite all
right, Sheriff. I'll wait.

The Feds faxed me a rap sheet
on a guy named Wayne Freeman,

released from Joliet
prison a year ago.

Now from the description of this
guy, he could be your twin brother.

Would you like me to read you
a list of the bunco convictions?

Okay, okay, I was in prison.

I didn't care much for the experience, so
I decided to get into something legitimate.

METZGER: Legitimate, huh?

Well, the last time you were busted, your
partner was a guy named Fred Keppard.

Are you following
me, Mr. Bennett?

Hey, I didn't kill him.

Look, I had Joe Hardin
locked up back there

all night until his lawyer
just bailed him out.

Now he says he saw Keppard driving
away from your gym the night he was killed.

Okay.

All right, Fred located
me two days ago.

He wanted to use me in some land
scheme he was working on Eve Simpson

to con the other women in town.

I said no.

I told Fred that I was
on the level these days.

But he figured I owed him.

So he threatened to go public with
your past unless you joined him?

Okay.

So where were you between
8:00 and 10:00 last Friday night?

In my apartment,
watching TV, alone.

Alone, huh? Too bad.

Okay, Floyd, lock him up.

What about a lawyer?

Let him run his fingers
through the yellow pages.

You said you got his prints
off a bottle of his orange drink?

Right.

And did you
analyze the contents?

Yeah. Usual ingredients.

Sodium benzoate, ascorbic
acid, carob bean gum,

and, oh, yeah, even
a little orange juice.

No drugs, no poison,
nothing illegal or fraudulent?

Okay, okay, Mrs. Fletcher, I
know what you're gonna say.

He's a nice guy. He
couldn't possibly have done it.

No, that isn't what I
was going to say at all.

You weren't?

No, he may very well
have killed Mr. Keppard.

But I'm pretty sure that he wasn't
telling the truth about something.

What I'd like to suggest is, that is
if it's all right with you, of course.

Of course.

Is that I spend a few moments alone
with him, maybe get him to open up a bit.

Who knows, he might tell me something that
he would feel reluctant to reveal to you.

You mean, confess?

Mrs. Fletcher, be my guest.

Eve Simpson is very
worried about you, Wayne.

You see, she's convinced
that you're innocent.

Eve's a good judge of character.

She also believed that Fred
Keppard was a charming widower

with a healthy bank account.

Mrs. Fletcher, I'm not into murder. As
a matter of fact, I'm not even into bunco.

I mean, not anymore.
I mean, not, not really.

I mean, sure, I suppose I could
charge a little less for my health drinks

or the T-shirts or
even the sessions.

But what I'm selling these ladies is
a sense of well-being, of belonging.

They get their money's worth.

Well, I suppose there is a certain
amount of con attached to any business.

Like when my agent calls me and talks me
into going into a personal appearance tour.

The problem is, Wayne,
aside from Eve Simpson,

no one in this town
even knew Fred Keppard.

And while it's easy
to believe a lot of

things about Eve,
murder is not one of them.

Look, I swear to
you, I didn't kill him.

Well, perhaps not,

but you weren't alone in your apartment
watching TV when he was killed.

Where were you, Wayne?

Look, all I can tell you, Mrs.
Fletcher, is I didn't kill him.

It's ridiculous.
Arresting Wayne.

That dumb sheriff, he ought
to have his head examined.

And his wife, did you know that she's
got a Marine Corps tattoo right here.

Yeah.

(CHUCKLING)

It's criminal. You know,

I think we should get together.

I mean all of us. Form a
committee, hire an attorney.

Ah, my husband, the lawyer.

Fine. Fine by me. As soon as
we get home, we'll start calling.

Good.

(MAN CHATTERING ON PA)

Excuse me. Mrs. Fletcher?

Oh, hello.

It's Betty, isn't it? I think we met
one night at Eve Simpson's house.

Right. I wasn't sure
that you'd remember.

Mrs. Fletcher, I think I
kind of need your advice.

I mean, I know I
should go to the Sheriff,

but Wayne told me
not to, but I don't know...

Well, what is it?

Wayne told the Sheriff that the
night Fred Keppard was killed,

that he was alone in his
apartment watching television.

That isn't true. The
fact is he was with me.

Look, Betty, I know that you want to
help Wayne in any way that you can, but...

It's not a lie.
Please believe me.

We were together all evening.
Until sunup as a matter of fact.

And I'll swear to that in court.

I see.

No, no, I'm not
sure that you do.

You see, for the
past nine months,

Wayne and I have been married.

Look, Sheriff, what I'm
selling isn't just exercise.

The only way it can possibly
work is for me to pretend I'm single.

I have my own little
place down by the beach.

I rented it under
my maiden name.

WAYNE: We'll show you a
marriage license if you want.

Okay, so you got a license.

Mrs. Bennett, did you happen
to know this guy Keppard?

No, I... l mean, I
knew of him, of course.

Look, Sheriff, there's no reason to
keep Wayne here anymore, is there?

Well, I'm afraid I don't
quite see it that way, ma'am.

You see, all I've
got is your word that

your husband was with
you the night of the murder.

Now you're not exactly
an impartial witness.

I'm sorry, ma'am. Until the courts
tell me different, he stays right here.

(WOMEN CLAMORING)

RENEE: Look, sweetie, I
heard it straight from Ideal Malloy

who heard it straight
from Phyllis Grant.

There's gotta be some mistake.

Yeah, and old blue eyes made it. I
want a refund on my lifetime membership.

Me, too.

Well, the line forms
to the right, girls.

But I'm sorry, you women all
signed contracts. I just can't...

That was before we
knew Wayne was married.

Married? He could be a murderer.

Look, honey, we get our money
back or my husband, the lawyer,

turns this place
into a pizza parlor.

You know, one thing
just doesn't add up.

If Wayne was going back to his old
con games, why kill Fred Keppard?

I mean, why not just team up with
him and operate the land swindle?

Oh, Sheriff, there you are.

Sheriff, if you're all finished,
I'd like to move back in now.

It's me, ladies, Floyd. Sheriff's in
the living room. I'll check with him.

Oh, dear.

Maybe that's what happened.

What?

Eve, who besides
you and me and Wayne

knew that you wouldn't be
at the house Friday night?

Well, just Fred, I guess.

Which is why Fred showed
up, to go through your files.

A darkened bedroom window.
He was shot from 10, 15 feet away?

Yes.

Maybe he was shot
from outside the house,

maybe he was shot from
here through the open window,

and like me, the killer couldn't see inside
very well, so he shot Fred by mistake.

Eve, someone else was supposed
to be here at this house that night.

At least he was, until you
canceled the appointment.

Wayne.

Come on, Mrs. F. You're
making it sound like

the guy who got locked
up wasn't the killer,

but the intended victim.

Exactly. The killer expected Wayne to be
here and shot Fred by mistake in the dark,

probably through
the open window.

Well, suppose you're
right. Where would I start?

Every husband in town
wanted to kill Wayne.

All except you, Sheriff.

Thanks, Floyd.

Wait a minute. Joe Hardin.

Joe Hardin?

Who had a better motive?

Jessica, you remember.
Joe was at the pharmacy.

He overheard me make that
9:00 appointment with Wayne.

But he didn't know
you'd canceled.

FLOYD: Uh, Sheriff?

Sure. Joe shoots
Keppard thinking it's Wayne

and then I arrest him on a namby-pamby
charge of breaking into a gym.

He gets 30 days
instead of 30 years.

FLOYD: Sheriff...
What is it, Floyd?

Well, can't be Joe Hardin.

What do you mean,
"Can't be Joe Hardin"?

This Keppard fella
was shot at 9:15.

Yeah.

And the fact is... Yeah?

You arrested Joe
at the gym at 9:00.

Just a moment, Sheriff.
Eve, at the pharmacy.

Now Joe was not the only one who overheard
you and Wayne make that appointment.

No, Nancy La Rue was
standing... Oh, my gosh!

She's missed the last
two days at the gym.

I stopped by the
pharmacy the other evening.

Clarence said that Nancy left
town the night that Fred was killed

to visit her sister in Augusta.

Left town or skipped town?

METZGER: So Friday night,
where did you go, Mrs. La Rue?

She told you, she went to
visit her sister in Augusta.

Sir, if you don't mind, I'd
like to hear it from your wife.

Eileen's kids were
both sick with the flu

and her husband was
out of town on business,

so she called and asked if I
could stay for a couple of days.

That's all there is to it.

Does your sister
have a phone number?

Sheriff, I didn't kill this Fred
Keppard! I didn't even know him.

But you knew Wayne Bennett.

Excuse me, Nancy, what
time did you leave for Augusta?

I don't know.

Around 9:00, I guess.

Anyone see you?

No.

No, wait.

I pulled into the Dusty
River Motel around 10:00.

It's about an hours drive
from here on the interstate.

It's just outside of
Whitsonberg, I believe.

Floyd, check it out.

Sheriff, what the
hell is this all about?

My wife didn't kill anybody.

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Nancy, it seems odd to me
that you would stop off at a motel.

I mean, you were only
an hour from Augusta.

Well, I...

I was tired. I couldn't
keep my eyes open.

I was afraid of falling
asleep at the wheel.

That's right. And
she called Eileen

and said she wouldn't arrive until the
next morning, isn't that right, honey?

Yes, that's right.

Okay if I call her on it?

Sheriff, this is ridiculous!

My goodness, that's a nasty
bruise you have near your eye.

Though it seems
to be clearing up.

Mrs. La Rue, you mind
telling me how you got that?

Yes, she does mind.

Mr. La Rue, do you mind?

Clarence.

It's no good. I
can't lie anymore.

Nancy, don't.

The truth is... Clarence
and I had a fight.

I came home around 8:30 or so. I'd been
down by the ocean, sitting and thinking.

I do that a lot when I want to sort things
out for myself and I had a lot on my mind.

Such as?

My life. My marriage.

Clarence had been drinking.

He started accusing
me of being with Wayne.

Well, I hadn't been but
he wouldn't listen to me.

He never listens to me
when he gets like that.

Alcohol makes him
crazy. He hit me.

For a moment I thought
he was gonna kill me.

All I could think of
was getting out of there.

I didn't even pack a bag.

I drove and drove. I had
no idea where I was going.

And then I saw the
motel and I pulled in.

I was so upset. I realized that I was maybe
going to have an accident on the road.

Sheriff, motel says
Mrs. La Rue checked in

about 10:00, Friday
night, just like she said.

Checked out this morning.

(SIGHS)

Well, I guess that lets
you off the hook, ma'am.

Looks like I've been
barking up the wrong tree.

No, not the wrong tree,
Sheriff. Merely the wrong branch.

We both were.

What are you looking at me for? I
didn't shoot the guy through that window.

Didn't you, Clarence?

Whoever killed Fred Keppard
thought he was killing Wayne.

Who could possibly have known that
Wayne would be at Eve's house at 9:00?

Only someone at the pharmacy

who happened to overhear
Eve make the appointment.

Joe was already arrested by
that time and Lil was at work.

And since Nancy's in
the clear, that leaves...

Eve Simpson!

No, Eve was in Rockport
dealing with some clients.

There's something
else, Clarence.

You said you didn't shoot
Fred through that open window.

How did you know that that's
where the shot came from?

Clarence.

I never was much of a liar.

Ain't much of a killer
either, hiding in the shadows.

I had too much to drink
that night, like Nancy said.

I was pitifully drunk and
feeling sorry for myself.

All I could think about
was losing Nancy.

And then it hit me. I remembered Wayne
would be at Eve's. So I grabbed my shotgun.

All I could think about was that
damn city fella and his line of gab

and his hands on every woman in town,
and us husbands paying for the privilege.

I came up the side of her
house, looked in the window.

It was dark, but I saw him.

I figured I'd be doing myself
and every man in town a favor.

I fired, and he dropped.

Then I didn't hear a
sound. I knew I'd got him.

Soon as I got home, I hit
the couch and passed out.

When I woke up the next morning

and saw my gun,

what I did all came back to me.

Clarence.

Wasn't till later
that day I found out

I shot the wrong man.

I love you, honey. Always have.

I'm sorry.

It just come out all wrong.

(SOBBING)

Thanks. That was the
county attorney's office.

La Rue's pleaded
guilty to second degree.

It'll be quite a while before
he fills another prescription.

John Barleycorn and a jealous nature
are definitely not boon companions.

So, Mort, what's in the box?

What box?

That box. Ben and I
are dying of curiosity.

It's just a little peace offering from
Wayne to show there were no hard feelings.

Oh, how very thoughtful
of him. What is it?

(CLEARS THROAT)

It's a

custom-made shower head.

Comes with a full range spray
in a contemporary white finish.

How nice of Wayne
to give it to you.

Well, he didn't
exactly give it to me.

Then what did it cost you?

Not a dime, I swear.

It comes absolutely
free when you sign up

for a year's worth of Wayne's
new bodybuilding classes.

You, Mort? Surely you jest.

This is strictly
self-preservation, believe me.

Last night, Adele and me we got
into a little arm wrestling competition.

She took me 10 out of 10.

Oh, dear.

Yeah, "Oh, dear" is right.

Before she started
going to Wayne's,

I'd always win at least
one, sometimes even two.