Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 6, Episode 10 - Class Act - full transcript

Young drifter, Leo Gunderson, stumbles upon Janet Carr's corps on the beach and confesses to her murder, but only under duress. The case is officially closed after his conviction and sentence to 5 years. However lieutenant Amos 'Jake' Ballinger, who through political intervention was removed from active detective duty as criminology teacher at Freemont University, decides to solve the case as a 'practical exercise'. He is helped by students Bernie Berndlestein, who wants to become a P.I., and Mrs. Elizabeth Mills, a bored insurance professional. They find a link with the hostile politician, state senator Andrew Grainger.

You're off the
case! You're kidding.

You're gonna replace Charlie
Greer at Fremont University.

FEMALE NARRATOR:
Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

(WOMEN SCREAMING)

Dad, it's okay.

Before we drag each
other down the aisle,

Joe and me, we wanna...

We wanna try things out.

What things?

Blackmail. Makes sense to me.

Now we're getting somewhere.



Back off.

Sorry, but my engine
doesn't run in reverse.

Somebody wants you
off the force real bad.

Jake, I'm sorry,
but you're wrong.

No!

That is absolutely untrue.

You have not been
put out to graze.

Yes. Yes, I'm sure you do.

Now, look, I may be
flying out there in a month,

and I promise I will call
you the minute that I land.

Wonderful.

Well, love to Janie.

Bye.

(EXCLAIMS)



Jake Ballinger.

Now, there is a man
to be reckoned with.

A year ago he was the pride
of LA's homicide division,

and if he wasn't
exactly Mr. Popularity,

he had the respect of the
men that he worked with.

And then he accidentally
stepped on the wrong toe,

and suddenly his
life went topsy-turvy.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It started at a deserted beach

on a night in July,
well past midnight.

A young drifter
named Leo Gunderson

made his way onto the sand,

looking for a place to sleep.

WOMAN: You know what I want.

MAN: It's too much.

What are you doing? Stop it!

Oh, my God!

(SCREAMING)

Miss?

Miss, are you all right?

(DOG BARKING)

JAKE: And what the
hell is this all about, huh?

The Gunderson kid
copped a plea, Jake.

What's the matter with
you? Can't you read?

That kid didn't kill that
girl any more than you did.

I've been busting my
butt for three weeks.

Come on. No, the case is closed.

Huh? Not by me, it isn't.

Who's his lawyer? Some
wet-nosed kid from the PD's office?

I didn't ask you up
here to argue, you know.

Oh, come on, you
know this stinks.

Sit down.

I'm going over your head, Joe.

Nothing personal.

Jake, there's no place to go.

You're off the case!

Matter of fact, you've
been transferred.

Effective immediately.

I must be crowding
somebody pretty big, huh?

Where am I going, Joe?

Night beat in the San
Pedro docks, huh?

No. As a matter of fact,
you're gonna replace

Charlie Greer at
Fremont University.

You're kidding.

I wish I were.

What am I, senile, Joe?

Joe, that's the last
stop before oblivion.

The department has a contract

with the university
to supply them

with an experienced instructor.

I am not going to start wet-nursing
a bunch of pimply-faced...

Will you listen to me?

You don't have a choice.

If you don't like
it, you can quit.

That's a quote from upstairs.

If you ask me, Jake, somebody
wants you off the force real bad.

(BELL RINGING)

(WOMEN SCREAMING)

Now that I have your attention,

my name is Ballinger.

Detective
lieutenant first grade.

Initial A as in Amos,

J as in Jason.

Badge number 750162.

Many of you were expecting
to see Captain Greer

standing here this morning.

Well, I'm happy to inform you

the Captain has been
retired on full pension

with thanks from the
department for a job well done.

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

Unhappily for you,

I have been selected
to take his place.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

I have it on
reliable information

that Criminology
240 has been a haven

for the chronically lazy

and a swell place
to knock off 40 winks

between lunch at
the student union

and a 24-hour poker game

in the basement
of the dormitory.

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

Well, my young friends,

let me inform you
of the sad news.

The boondoggle is over.

Now, those of you who wish
to stay enrolled in this class

will learn a new definition
of the word "work."

I will not cast upon
you pearls of wisdom

accumulated over 25 years.

I will cram them
down your throat,

in your ears

and any other orifice into
which they will conveniently fit.

I plan to set a mean pace here.

Those who can't keep up

will be suitably rewarded

with a failing grade.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

class will reconvene
tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m.

Oh!

A few of you may decide

that there is a less
demanding way

to earn three credits
toward your graduation.

Please feel free to go
elsewhere with my blessing.

(HUMMING)

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

JANE: Dad? Yeah,
I'm in here, Janie.

Is something burning?

(FEIGNS LAUGHTER)

You're not going to eat that?

I'm starving.

I thought we had an agreement.

I don't bust pushers,
you don't bake, boil or fry.

Hey, look, I lost 20
pounds. I'm in great shape.

I mean, what do you
want from me? I gotta eat.

Throw that out. I
bought lamb chops.

Are you kidding? I
love my eggs this way.

Yeah, the toast looks
pretty appetizing, too.

Yeah.

So,

how was things at
General Hospital today?

Oh, the usual influx
of broken bones,

contusions, abrasions.

How was your day, Professor?

Hey, don't be smart,
young lady, huh?

That bad?

Well, actually, it was okay.

I delivered a speech guaranteed to
frighten off the whole pack of them.

I bet when I show up tomorrow,
there'll be nobody there.

No class, no students.

(TOAST CRUNCHING LOUDLY)

I'm not gonna have you
up all night with indigestion.

(WHISTLING) Caesar!

(MEOWS)

(MEOWS CURIOUSLY)

(YOWLS)

So, Joe coming over tonight?

No, Joe's working.

Gee, he's been working
three straight nights.

Anything wrong
with you two guys?

Nothing a mutual
night off wouldn't cure.

You know, maybe
if you'd stop trying

to stash away a million
bucks before you got married...

Who said we're getting married?

Oh?

Dad, it's okay.

I didn't say anything, did I?

Before we drag each
other down the aisle,

Joe and me, we wanna...

We wanna try things out.

What things?

(PHONE RINGING)

Look, Janie, I am
not broad-minded.

I am not even
moderately tolerant.

The fact of the matter is
that no daughter of mine

is going to start
trying things. Hello!

Yeah, this is
Lieutenant Ballinger.

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Dad? What is it?

It's Anna Gunderson. She's
in the hospital. She's critical.

She asked to see me.

She was jaywalking. Mmm-hmm.

Oh, here it is.

Young kid who hit
her is a basket case.

Yeah?

He says he didn't
see her. I believe him.

Okay, thanks. All right.

Mrs. Gunderson?

Lieutenant Ballinger?

Yeah. Oh, thank God.

Look, the doctors don't want
you to talk too long, now, so...

My son. My boy, Leo.

Yes?

He writes me from the jail.

It is bad for him, very bad.

Lieutenant, he did
not do what they say.

Look, Mrs. Gunderson,
he pleaded guilty.

Because he was afraid.

Because he did not understand.

They told him he would be killed

in the gas chamber
if he did not confess.

So he confessed.

But he's innocent.

He told me you believed him.

Mrs. Gunderson, I'm sorry,

the case is closed.

Lieutenant, please,
someone must help him.

You must help him
before he dies in that place.

Jake never did have much
use for departmental politics.

And when it came to a choice

between helping Anna
Gunderson or bending the rule book,

well, for Jake, the
decision was easy.

First thing the next morning,

he went to visit his
friend Sam Kendall

at the forensics laboratory.

Kendall was an old friend

who never said no when
Jake needed a favor.

You working, Sam, or you
just looking at dirty pictures?

Damn it, Jake, don't sneak
up on me like that, will you?

Here, you wanna
see something wild?

Yeah. Take a peek.

Yuck! Beautiful, huh?

That's a lung section
taken from a guy

that was washed up
on the beach Sunday,

tentatively identified

as a real estate broker
by the name of Waterford.

Only it isn't.

See the lovely gobs of nicotine?

Waterford didn't smoke, right?

Right. Right.

You know, Sam, if I ever
decide to commit murder,

I'm gonna make sure
you're on vacation.

So what can I do for you?

A few weeks ago,
the Gunderson case,

you made a cast of a tire
tread near the murder site.

Look, Jake, that case is closed.

Yeah, well, I know, but
I'm just a little curious.

What did you find?

Look, I can't help you.

The file has been sealed.

Well, by who?

Superior Court.

Well, which judge?

I don't know. Oh, come on, Sam.

Look, I'm sorry.

It's my job.

I can't tell you.

RAWLINGS: You have
a hearing problem, Jake?

The Gunderson case is over with.

Who ordered the
records sealed, huh?

I'm not getting
through to you, am I?

Currently you're on
detached assignment.

Until told otherwise,
you're a teacher.

So go teach.

Look, Joe, I want the
name of that judge, huh?

I don't know it,

and if I did, I
wouldn't give it to you.

Damn it, Jake, you're
not a rookie anymore.

Guys who knew you
when, old guys like me,

we're getting squeezed
out by these computer types

with the alphabet
soup college degrees.

Yeah, I noticed.

Then get smart.

Only got six years
till your pension.

It's a lousy deal. It's the
only deal you're gonna get.

So close your eyes, hold
your nose and ride it out.

Is that what you're doing, Joe?

And I only hope I make it.

(BELL RINGING)

I'm sorry! I'm sorry about that.

Excuse me.

Good morning.

Sir.

I guess you weren't here
yesterday morning, Mr...

Berndlestein.

Oh, yes, sir, I was here.

That's "steen," sir.

The what?

"Berndlesteen,"
not "Berndlestine."

Most everybody
just calls me Bernie.

Do they? Mmm-hmm.

Ah.

Good morning. Good
morning, Lieutenant.

Elizabeth Mills. I was
here yesterday as well.

You do know that
this is Criminology 240.

I believe that's
spelled out on the card.

Yeah, well, forgive me if I
seem ungallant, Miss Mills...

That's Mrs.

Oh, Mrs. Mills.

What I was about to say

was that I am a little
surprised to see a lady of your

maturity

attending an
undergraduate course.

When I should be home
diapering the babies

and getting the old
man's dinner on the table?

Look, Lieutenant, suppose
we understand each other

right from the start.

I have no children,

my husband and I were
divorced five years ago.

At the moment, I'm the assistant

to the chief claims investigator

for a major life
insurance company.

My boss, poor man,

either through
heredity or environment,

has been turned by life
into a narrow-minded,

male macho stuffed shirt

who is totally
ill-equipped to do his job.

I give him another six months

before management starts
looking around for his replacement,

and when they do, I
want them to look my way.

Now, I hope that satisfies you
as to my reasons for being here

and you won't continue
to look upon me

as just another pretty face.

Honey, that's one mistake
I'll probably never make again.

Good. Well, now that we have
that settled, shall we get started?

Suppose you begin by telling
us what text we'll be using.

Text?

No, no, no. I...

I'm not much for
textbooks or classrooms.

You see, this is gonna
be more like a lab course,

with lots of
practical application.

(ELIZABETH PANTING)

Actually, what I
really wanted to be

was a cop, like my dad
and my Uncle Marvin,

only my eyes weren't
really too good, so...

I used to eat 10 carrots a
day. It didn't really help much.

Will you keep up, Mrs. Mills?

We can't take all day here.

Next time, I will
dress for the occasion.

I'm wearing contact lenses.
You probably didn't notice.

Yeah, it slipped right past me.

Well, anyway, for the time
being, I'm driving a cab,

you know, until I get
my business established.

What kind of business is that?

I'm a PI.

Yeah, I'm a
private investigator.

I mean, I will be as
soon as I get my license.

As soon as I pass
this course, that is.

If I pass this course, that is,

sir.

All right, here we are.
Scene of the crime.

I didn't know this included
a course in calisthenics.

If you can't keep
up, Mrs. Mills,

there's always home economics.

You just talk as fast
as you like, Lieutenant.

I'm terrific at shorthand.

All us girls are.
It's hereditary.

Okay.

About four months ago, a young
girl by the name of Janet Carr

was killed on this beach.

It was early morning,
about 1:00 a.m.

Now, the medical examiner says
that she struggled with her assailant,

she fell,

she struck her head on a
jagged rock and she died instantly.

They arrested a young guy by the name
of Leo Gunderson at the scene of the crime.

Oh, yeah, I think
I read about that.

Yeah, well, you also read that
he pleaded guilty to manslaughter.

Excuse me if I seem
dense, Lieutenant,

but what's the point?

The point is, Mrs. Mills,

that Leo Gunderson is innocent.

Which is why he confessed?

He confessed because he
had the stuffing scared out of him

by some assistant DA.

So now he's doing five to 10
for involuntary manslaughter

while the killer of Janet
Carr walks around free.

Oh, I get it. You're
gonna get the guy, right?

Me? No, no, no, not
me, Mr. Berndlestein.

You see, these
days I'm a teacher,

not a homicide detective.

However,

there's nothing that
says that an actual case

cannot be used
as a class project,

and if my students, in
their pursuit of knowledge,

just happen to
unearth some evidence

of justice gone awry,

well, isn't that what the
educational process is all about?

COGDEN: I had no idea
you'd need an office, Lieutenant.

I'm afraid this is
all we have left.

(SNEEZES)

JAKE: Bless you.

I'll get Maintenance
up here right away.

If you had let
me know earlier...

Well, I'm also
gonna need a phone,

preferably two phones.

Well, yes, I suppose.

And a secretary, huh?

Oh, dear me, I'm
not sure about that.

You're not...

Look, Dean,

when the boys downtown

first offered me this
assignment, I mean,

I jumped at it.

And you know why?

Because I saw an
opportunity to mold minds,

to instill in our young people

a respect for the
American justice system.

No matter how big
the workload, Dean,

I'm with you, huh?

All I want from you, Dean, right now,
in return, is just a little support, okay?

Well, perhaps one of our
undergraduates on scholarship.

They're always looking
for part-time work.

That's great. Thank you so much.

If I need anything else,
I'll let you know, huh?

Thank you. Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks!

George, it's Liz
Mills. How are you?

Listen, George, I need a favor.

I'm taking a course in
criminology at the university...

(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah,
yeah, it's loads of laughs,

but it's going to look very,
very good on my résumé.

Anyway, our first big assignment

is to investigate a young
woman named Janet Carr.

Her last known address
was 4029 Lankershim.

Carr. C-A-R-R.

She died about four months ago.

You might have read about it.

Anyway, George, it occurred to
me that she may have a policy.

We didn't carry it. Neither
did Prudential or Mutual.

I don't know if
a claim was filed

or even if there
was such a policy.

George, would you
be a sweetheart?

Just punch it into
your computer,

see if you come
up with anything?

Oh, thank you. I'll hold.

Madge, call Neil. Cancel me out
of lunch. I'm gonna be working in.

Have the deli send me
up corned beef on rye.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, George?

Oh, terrific!

Her real name's what?

Could you spell that?

And what address do you have?

That's no good. She moved
out of that place a year ago.

Well, who's the
beneficiary on the policy?

Come on, George,
this involves a murder.

I mean, where's your
sense of civic duty?

Good fellow. Okay.

And what address do you
have for the beneficiary?

George, George, I love you!

Next time you're in
the neighborhood,

you call me and I'll take
you to lunch, okay? Bye-bye.

Hello. Mrs. Summerfield? Yes.

My name is Elizabeth Mills.

I'm from Coastland Insurance,

and I wondered if I could
have a word with your husband.

Oh, I'm sorry, he's out
of town on business.

Oh, I see.

He's not expected
back until Friday.

Is there something
I can do for you?

No, I don't think so. Thanks.

I hope you're not here to
sell us any more coverage.

I'm afraid Carl and I have
more than we need already.

Carl? Yes, my husband.

Gee, that's funny. I was given
the name Jeremy Summerfield.

(CRYING)

Who did you say you were?

Elizabeth Mills,
Coastland Insurance.

I'm sorry.

I don't have anything
to do with our insurance,

and I'm really very busy now.

Come here.

Mrs. Summerfield, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to upset you.

I just wanted to ask
you a few questions.

That's all we've had for
a year now, is questions.

They never end.

When are you
people going to stop?

Hello.

Well, good
afternoon, Mrs. Mills.

Thank you for calling
me this afternoon.

I wouldn't want to be left out
of this investigation of yours.

Well, thank you. I
knew you'd be grateful.

At the risk of being obvious,

may I point out to you that I am
the detective on this case, huh?

Lieutenant, if we're
gonna stand on ceremony,

we're never gonna get anywhere.

Now, this is what I
have in a nutshell.

Mrs. Summerfield
wasn't much help,

but the neighbors love to chat.

If you ever decide to commit
murder, don't do it on that block.

If I ever decide to commit
murder, you'll be the first to know.

SISTER MARIA: Yes, Lieutenant, that poor
young girl was with us for several weeks.

I'm afraid that's
all I can tell you.

Our girls are promised
total anonymity.

I really must respect that.

Well, I understand, Sister, but
these are special circumstances.

I mean, you know,
Janet Carr is dead.

So I've just learned.

We knew her by her real name,

Jeanette Cardini.

In any case, it doesn't
make any difference.

Sister, we know Janet was
pregnant when she came here

and that the son was adopted
by a family named Summerfield.

How did you learn that?

How Mrs. Mills accidentally
stumbled upon that piece of information

is irrelevant, Sister.

But this is the first real link
we've been able to establish

with Janet's past.

Sister, could you give us
the name of the child's father?

I can't.

Jeanette never
revealed his identity.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry, too.

But, Sister...

Sister, did she ever
receive any mail

or write to anybody
on a regular basis?

No.

She was a very private person.

What about phone calls?

Oh, a few, I suppose.

We really don't have
any way to check.

Not even long distance?

Oh, my! Yes.

She did make one phone call.

Upstate somewhere.

The night before
the child was born.

Yes, here we are.

The child was
born on the eighth,

and the phone call was made
the evening of the seventh.

Here it is.

Area code 916.

Yeah, I see it, I see it.

916 is Sacramento.

She talked for
almost 30 minutes.

Sister, do you mind?
I'm dying of curiosity.

Go right ahead.

The usual procedure, Mrs. Mills,

is to verify through
the phone company.

ELIZABETH: Why?
This is so much faster.

Hello.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

I must have dialed the
wrong number. Is this 5594?

Oh, 5595.

I do apologize.

Now shall we try it my way?

Why, Lieutenant?

I didn't dial the
wrong number at all.

I just wanted to make
sure I had the right number.

5595.

That was the home of State
Senator Andrew Grainger.

Nothing made Jake
Ballinger happier

than to learn that State
Senator Andrew Grainger

was on the other end of that
phone call from Janet Carr.

Now at least he knew where the
political pressure was coming from,

why he had been
shipped off to Coventry

and who had managed to
get the court records sealed.

Hey, buddy, you wanna move it?

We're trying to work here.

Good morning, sir. Good
morning, Berndlestein.

Watch your feet, old-timer.

Okay, up against the
wall. Watch your end.

Moira, this is
Lieutenant Ballinger.

Oh, the teach!
Hello, how are you?

I'm Moira McShane.
It's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

The dean sent me up.
I'm your new secretary.

My shorthand's fantastic,
my typing's not bad.

I can give you three,
maybe four hours a day.

We'll work around my schedule.

Fine.

I made a list of what you'll
need, starting with phones.

That usually takes about a week.

Everything else takes longer,

unless you know which
buttons to press, and I know.

If anyone tries to push you
around, you just refer them to me.

Why don't you
take your jacket off?

We're gonna need some
help moving the bookcase.

Why not?

So, Berndlestein, did you get in
touch with Senator Grainger yet?

No, sir. I mean, I...

I called Sacramento,
but he's not there, sir.

Yeah? Here you go.
The legislature's in recess.

He's down here working
out of his local office

for the next couple of weeks.

I thought you said your
name was "Berndlesteen."

I answer to anything.

I'm always delighted to meet a
member of the academic community.

Welcome. Please,
sit down. Thanks.

Is it Doctor or Professor or...

Well, Lieutenant
will be just fine.

Lieutenant? Yeah.

I'm sorry, I...

Ballinger, LAPD.

I'm currently assigned to Fremont
University, teaching criminology.

Sorry about the
ruse, Senator, but I...

I thought if you really knew who I
was, you wouldn't want to see me.

But I have the greatest respect

for law enforcement,
Lieutenant Ballinger.

Look, Senator,

you're a busy man
and I'm a busy man.

Suppose we cut
to the chase, huh?

Tell me what you
know about Janet Carr.

Janet Carr...

No, I'm sorry.

Also known as Jeanette Cardini.

Well, is she a constituent?

Well, not exactly. She's dead.

Senator.

Oh, excuse me. No, no, Colin.

This is Colin Hale, my
administrative assistant.

This is Lieutenant Ballinger.

He's with the police.

Police?

Oh, I thought that you were...

Oh, it's a long story.

He was just asking me about a
woman by the name of Janet Carr.

I'm afraid I wasn't much help.

When it comes to names,
Colin's my encyclopedia.

Ring a bell?

Janet Carr? No, not offhand.

Must be a missing page
in the C volume, then,

because, you see,

last year Miss Carr
gave birth to a baby boy.

The night before the birth,

she made a phone call to your
home in Sacramento, Senator.

You must be mistaken.

No, I don't think so.

I'm quite sure that I never
spoke with that woman.

Well, maybe you didn't.

Oh.

Is this your son, Senator?

Douglas? I understand
he's a medical student.

You seem to know quite
a bit about my family.

Well, I was always
good at homework.

Senator, on the night
of June the seventh,

last year,

was your son visiting or
living with you in Sacramento?

I don't remember.

And in any case,

it's none of your business.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have a very busy morning.

Fine.

Maybe I can catch
Douglas between classes

at Fremont University.

Lieutenant.

You are a very hard
man to get through to.

Meaning what?

Do I have to pull
out a road map?

You're not teaching
at the school by choice.

Do yourself a favor. Back off.

Sorry, but my engine
doesn't run in reverse.

Have a good day.

I'm sorry, Senator. If I had
known it was that Ballinger...

Never mind, Colin, never mind.

The case is
supposed to be closed.

It is, sir, it is.

Judge Riker had the court
records sealed last week.

Then what's he doing here?

Look, Douglas did not kill
that woman any more than I did,

and I will not have
his future destroyed

by one fleeting,
ill-considered relationship.

Now, I want this
case closed, Colin.

Now!

What the hell is all this about?

I went ahead and
ordered and everything

'cause I'm in
something of a hurry.

Pull up a chair.

My secretary took
this charming message.

"Tell Mrs. Mills to get her fanny
over to Julio's Café by 12:30."

Yeah, well, after that,
it gets a little crowded.

This place has fantastic
jalapeño burgers.

It just so happens that I had
a luncheon engagement today

with a polished, witty,
sophisticated gentleman. Yeah?

He was going to
take me to Spago's.

Oh! Great.

Oh, boy.

Look, Senator Grainger has
a kid by the name of Douglas.

Second-year med student.

Now, my nose tells me
that this kid's a party animal

and the father of
Janet Carr's kid.

And maybe he even killed
her, for reasons unknown.

That's an interesting theory,

but life with Criminology 240

is not a 24-hour-a-day
career with me.

Yeah, well, somebody's
gotta talk to the kid.

You know, me,
he'll be expecting.

So what this needs
is really somebody

a little prettier,
a little subtler...

Berndlestein!

Young Dr. Grainger has some
class between 2:00 and 4:00,

so probably you can
catch him coming out, huh?

Thanks for the
advice. Anything else?

No, that's all. You can
go to your lunch now.

It's been canceled.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, how do you feel
about jalapeño burgers?

At the moment,
about the same way

I feel about over-opinionated,

over-cholesteroled
police lieutenants.

I'll be in touch.

JANE: Joe, I'm
not pressuring you,

and I'm not demanding
a commitment.

If you want to share an apartment
with me in Westwood, that's fine.

Right, 50-50, right
down the middle.

Rent, utilities.

One bedroom is no problem.

What do you mean,
what'll my father think?

Believe it or not, my father's not
some old-fashioned fuddy-duddy.

Oh, no, I'm not old-fashioned.
I'm not a fuddy-duddy, no.

Can we discuss this tomorrow?

Fine.

I'll call you.

I love you, too.

Bye.

Cannot believe this man.

He thinks, just because I love
him, that I want to marry him.

Gee, what an
old-fashioned concept, huh?

Dad, you're not going
to get all stuffy, are you?

Who, me? You kidding?

I can't stand my roommate.

I can't afford another
place on my own.

Joe and I are in the same boat.

Look, sweetheart,

if your mother were alive today,

you two would have worked
this out long before I knew about it.

And she would have come to me,

talked me into it.

Let's just say that we're
skipping the middleman, huh?

Okay.

When's the last time I told you

what a terrific dad you are?

Oh, I don't know,
about a month ago,

but who's keeping track, huh?

(DOORBELL RINGING)

If that's Joe, he broke the
sound barrier, I'll tell you that.

I'm sorry to barge
in on you, Lieutenant.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

(STAMMERING) Oh, no, no. I...

I'm sorry. I was just helping my
daughter prepare some dinner.

I just got through
with Douglas Grainger.

I thought you
might like to know.

Oh...

Oh, I'm sorry. This
is my daughter, Janie.

Mrs. Mills, one of my students.

Hello. Hi.

Would you like to come in?
Yeah, please, come on in.

Thanks.

Would you like to stay
for dinner? We have plenty.

Oh, no, thanks. I really can't.

I just need to talk to your
father for a moment or two.

Oh, sure. Excuse me.

I'm really sorry to
intrude, Lieutenant.

Well, come on and sit down.

No, thanks. I
can't stay, really.

It's just as we thought.

The Senator's son was involved
with Janet Carr, intimately.

He told you that?

No, he denied it categorically.

That's why I knew he was lying.

Oh, you did?

Lieutenant, I have been an insurance
investigator for almost 12 years.

I have no difficulty
identifying horse puckey.

Besides, I managed to
chat with a few of his friends.

They filled in the gaps.

Such as?

A couple of years ago, he was
seeing a model named Janet.

They don't know the last
name, but the description fits.

Okay, what else?

One mean-spirited young lady,

a jilted ex-lover, I think,

said that he was having problems
with Janet after they broke up.

Money problems.

Blackmail.

Makes sense to me.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Maybe not.

On July 19th, the
day Janet was killed,

Douglas Grainger was in Hawaii

playing in a golf
tournament with his father.

They came in third.

JAKE: (AS RICHARD Ill)
"Thus high, by thy advice,

"and thy assistance,
is King Richard seated:

"but shall we wear
these honors for a day?

"Or shall they last, and
we rejoice in them?" Eh?

(AS BUCKINGHAM) "Still live
they, and for ever may they last!"

(AS RICHARD) "Oh! Buckingham,

"now do I play the touch, to try
if thou be current gold indeed:

"young Edward lives:

"think now what I would say."

(AS BUCKINGHAM)
"Say on, my loving lord."

(AS RICHARD) "But Edward lives."

(AS BUCKINGHAM)
"A true, noble prince."

(AS RICHARD)
"'True, noble prince!'

"Cousin, thou were
not wont to be so dull:

"shall I be plain?

"I wish the bastards dead."

Excuse me, sir, but
what the hell was that?

That is Richard III, my
young gal. Shakespeare.

Not a bad writer
for an old guy, huh?

Well, I don't care
for his language.

You see, Buckingham was slow,

so Richard had to
spell it out for him.

Let me tell you something.

There is nothing
slow about Colin Hale.

What are you saying, Lieutenant?

That Andrew Grainger
hinted around to Hale

that he wanted Janet Carr dead?

I don't know if he hinted at it

or if he came
right out and said it.

But what the king
wants, he usually gets.

And when he has a
groveling little toady at his side

doing his bidding...

Excuse me, sir, but
we don't actually know.

I mean, not for sure.

But, Berndlestein,

let me point out some
facts to you, huh?

Facts that I
gathered this morning

while you were busy
hustling tourists at LAX.

Fact.

Colin Hale seldom, if ever,
leaves Senator Grainger's side.

Yet when Grainger and
his son flew to Hawaii

for that fundraiser
golf tournament,

Colin Hale flew to
Los Angeles instead.

He stayed at the Concord
Plaza Inn, one night at the airport.

It was the same night
Janet Carr was killed.

Now, he also rented a car.

Now, there's no
indication of where he went,

but if you want an
educated guess,

I'd be willing to bet that he
went to Janet Carr's house

on the pretext
of paying her off,

drove her to the
beach... Lieutenant,

that's a great
deal of supposition.

It's hardly a case.

Well, no, not yet.
But it soon will be.

Berndlestein?

Sir?

I have an assignment
for which you and only you

are uniquely qualified.

Colin Hale's rental car.

I want you to
identify it and rent it.

Not a clone,

not a look-alike, but
the exact same car.

Yes, sir.

But how do I find out which one?

I mean, who do I talk to?

Berndlestein, you're a
reasonably attractive young man.

Not to me,

but certainly to one of
those nubile young things

who toss that
frozen smile at you

from across the car
rental counter, huh?

Come on, use your imagination.

I want you to drive it posthaste

to this address.

Yes, sir.

What about me?

You?

You go to the hardware store.

So? What am I, chopped liver?

Look, McShane, these
people do this for nothing.

You, I have to pay.

Lieutenant, how much longer
do I have to keep doing this?

Until it's ready.

You wouldn't like to
change jobs, would you?

Didn't think so.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

I got it, sir. This is the baby.

You're sure this
is the car, now?

Oh, this is it, all
right. No question?

No question.

Sweet little gal behind
the counter, Betty Lou...

Yeah? It was just like you
told me. I couldn't believe it.

She even gave me
this computer printout

from the night of the murder.

Model identification
number, right here.

I popped the hood and I
checked it before I drove out.

Nice work, Mr. Berndlestein.

Thank you, sir.

Okay, now, get behind the wheel.

Mrs. Mills, you're finished.

Thank you so much.

Okay, come on, come ahead, now.

A little over...
Whoa, whoa, go, go.

Come, come, come, come, come,
come. Come, come, easy, come.

Come, come, come, whoa!

Now, back off nice and easy.

Back off, back off, go
ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Go ahead. Whoa!

It's a work of
art, a work of art.

Excuse me, Lieutenant,
if I seem dense,

but what are we doing here?

We're making a
cast of this tire track.

Believe it or not,
this much I grasp.

Why?

Mrs. Mills, you are aware
that a cast of a tire tread

was made at the scene of
Janet Carr's murder, aren't you?

Yes.

I'm also aware that the cast,

along with all the
other evidence,

has been sealed by the court.

Yeah, that's the way it
seemed the last time we looked.

COLIN: You know, I think you
can expect pretty solid support

from the northern
counties, Senator.

The big question marks are
San Diego and Los Angeles.

And the Speaker.

Without his support, there's
no sense in making the run.

Oh, excuse me for
busting in, gentlemen.

I'm sorry, Senator. He passed
me before I could stop him.

That's all right,
Ruth. I'll call Security.

Yeah, you do that, Mr. Hale.
And while you're at it,

call the LAPD and tell them to
bring a paddy wagon for two, huh?

Now, what is that
supposed to mean?

It means, sweet prince,
that the play is over.

It's time for the
last curtain call

before they cart you away
to your next engagement,

10 to 20 in San Quentin for
aiding and abetting a felon,

not to mention conspiracy
to obstruct justice.

What the hell are you
talking about, Ballinger?

I'm talking about murder.

The cold-blooded,
premeditated murder

of a girl named
Janet Carr on a beach

a few months ago.

A murder committed by you

with the full knowledge and
consent of the man you work for.

Are you out of your mind?

Colin, call Security.

That night, you rented a car
from the Campbell Rent-A-Car,

engine number 36548798.

The police lab
made a plaster cast

of a tire tread found at
the scene of the crime.

Where did you get that?
Those records were sealed.

Why? You were afraid

that the trail would lead right
back to you, huh? And the Senator.

Yeah, I guess it could get a
little messy, couldn't it, huh?

Gubernatorial
election coming up.

Colin, what's he talking about?

I really don't know,
sir. I don't know.

You're wasting
my time, Mr. Hale.

Your signature was all over
that car rental agreement.

You even took
out extra insurance.

Now, you shouldn't
have done that, you know.

That's really a rip-off.
And then there is this.

The plaster cast of a
tire tread from that car.

A fact that I will happily,

very happily,
swear to at your trial.

Colin, is this the truth? Colin!

Somebody had to stop her.

I mean, you know
what she was doing.

She was blackmailing your son.

I mean, if that had come
out during the election...

You killed that girl?

You murdered that girl?

Yes! Yes, I killed her!
I had the guts to do it!

While you were
wringing your hands,

hands you didn't want to
get dirty, remember, Senator?

You know, nine years
ago, when I put in with you,

I thought we were
going somewhere.

And then when you finally
decide to make your move,

your son screwed up everything!

I should have known.
I should have known.

You're a loser, Grainger.

You've always been
a loser, you know that?

Hello, honey?

Better call in Security.

Tell them they've got
some trash to haul away.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Yeah, come on.

Congratulations and
welcome back. You did it.

I don't know how you did it.

Good to see you. Thanks.

I just left Leo Gunderson
and his mother.

Oh, really? How is she?

Oh, no, she's fine, she's fine,

now that Leo's been
cleared, you know.

Well, you ready to
go to work? Huh?

You know me, Joe.

(PHONE RINGING)

Rawlings.

Yeah, he's here. Just a second.

It's for you. For me?

Thanks, Joe.

Yeah, Ballinger here.

What?

What?

What?

Excuse me, but didn't
you get the message?

Class is suspended indefinitely

until the department can
appoint my replacement.

We don't want a
replacement, Lieutenant.

We intend to learn from you.

Well, I don't intend
to teach you anything,

I mean, even if I
could, which I doubt.

Yes, we understand
that you're not

a professionally
trained educator,

but we're willing to overlook your
shortcomings, at least for a while.

Berndlestein, don't you have
anything better to do, huh?

No, sir.

Look, folks, look. I
just don't have the time.

Of course you do.

Three hours a week, a
little lecture now and then,

a minimum of homework.

Besides, what other
detective on the force

has three legpersons
working for him for free?

Free?

For secretarial work, I
charge a minimum wage.

Anything else, I throw
in 'cause I got a big heart.

Now, look, folks...

You should also
know, Lieutenant,

that in the event
you decide to ignore

your previously-agreed-to
commitment to this class

and abrogate the
implied contract

that existed ipso
facto between you,

as a representative of Fremont
University, and us as students,

we intend to take legal action

to obtain redress and
enforce compliance.

What, are you a lawyer, too?

I have my degree, Lieutenant.

But don't let that
intimidate you.

Okay, folks. You
want an education?

I'm gonna give you one.

But if things get too tough,
you just say the word, huh?

Funny, Lieutenant, that
word just leapt to mind.

But I'm too much of a lady
to use it in mixed company.